Ugly Davey - 12. Chapter 12 – Never Be Mine

Chapter 12 – Never Be Mine

“Seems like somebody’s been ditched.”

I looked up into the stormy gray eyes that always managed to pierce my heart.

“Tyler…” I breathed out.

Tyler’s eyes crinkled in response. “Did you know you always seem to do some kind of breathy thing when you say my name? It’s cute but I really hope you’re not scared of me or something.”

I felt my face heat up and let out an embarrassed chuckle. “No, I’m not scared of you.” If only you knew what I really thought of you!

“Good,” said Tyler as he took the seat across from me and placed his bottle of beer on the table, “because that’s the last thing I want. I hope you know that I don’t only see you as an employee but as a friend as well.”

I nodded my head. “I didn’t know you were coming here tonight. The meeting didn’t last long?”

“Yeah, it ended much sooner than expected, so I thought I’d stop by for a quick drink.” Tyler observed what was going on the dance floor. “Seems like those two finally hooked up. About damn time!”

That surprised a laugh out of me. “Did everyone know about Megan’s crush, but Jared himself?”

Tyler grinned, his eyes sparkling in laughter. “Oh yeah, I’m pretty sure the whole office knew by now. Just goes to show how slow men could be when it comes to love, eh?”

I nodded again as I glanced around the room, immediately noticing the eyes of numerous women turned towards Tyler. In fact the buxom blonde that Jared had been eyeing earlier was clearly trying to get Tyler’s attention from where she sat two tables over. When Tyler failed to notice, she got up and started making her way towards us.

“Hey handsome, care for a dance?” said the woman as she stood next to our table with her hands on her hips. She had thick blonde hair that fell in waves over her shoulders. Her tight jeans and low cut red blouse showcased her slim figure and ample cleavage.

She leaned down close to Tyler, giving him a direct view of her chest, and put a hand on his arm. Her red lipstick covered lips spread into a seductive grin while she batted her eyes. “How ‘bout it? You up for having a good time?”

I couldn’t help but glare daggers at her. Who the fuck did this bimbo think she was? How dare she interrupt my conversation with Tyler! I knew I was glaring but I couldn’t help it. Just the fact that her hand was on Tyler’s arm was already annoying me, that the thought of her being draped all over Tyler while dancing would surely drive me crazy with envy.

Wait, wait, wait! Envy? It suddenly hit me how jealous I was of this woman flirting with Tyler. But how could I be? I had no right over Tyler; he was free to do whatever he wished. One steamy encounter didn’t equate to there being something between us. Hell Tyler didn’t even know that I was the one he had hooked up with! Sure I was constantly teased about it in my dreams, but that was probably only due to the fact that I had gone for so long without any sort of sexual intimacy. Tyler most likely would have already long forgotten what occurred on that Friday night and for all I knew, he could have already met someone else. I felt another twinge of jealousy shoot through me when thinking of Tyler with some other anonymous man.

Tyler gave her a small smile before responding. “Sorry, it’s been a long day. I’m not really up for some dancing, but thank you for the offer,” he said, gently letting her down.

The woman let out a high-pitched laugh that to me sounded as attractive as nails scratching a chalkboard. “Oh sugar, don’t say that! I’m certain that I can get you up for much more than just dancing. All you’ll have to do is sit back and relax while I enjoy the ride,” she said with a grin that could have rivaled that of the Cheshire Cat.

I cringed at the blonde’s blatant attempts at flirting. Does this chick not understand that no means no?

“Sorry,” Tyler said once again but more firmly, “but I am really not interested at the moment.”

Though outwardly I tried my best to appear nonchalant, inwardly I rejoiced at Tyler’s refusal.

“Seriously?” she asked as though she couldn’t comprehend that Tyler had actually refused her. She suddenly turned her attention towards me. “You would rather spend time with this thing,” she said in a sneering tone, “than take up what I have to offer?”

My grasp on my beer bottle tightened but I held back from chewing the bimbo’s head off. Instead I focused on Tyler and attempted to give him a supporting smile. I wasn’t sure whether I succeeded or if it only made me appear as though I were severely constipated. “It’s OK Tyler, you don’t need to keep me company. Go with her if you want to,” I tried to convince him and myself at the same time.

But Tyler wasn’t buying any of it. His expression had gone stone cold as he stared at the woman. I was so used to the happy Tyler, that the coolness radiating off him seemed so foreign.

Tyler responded in the coldest tone I had ever heard him use. “If you think insulting my friends will get you what you want, then I’m sorry to tell you that you’re greatly mistaken. Now if you don’t mind, I would please like for you to leave us alone so that we can enjoy our evening.”

The woman finally took the hint and with a final huff, marched back towards her table.

“Looks like you garner interest from the ladies no matter where you go,” I said, trying to lighten the tense mood.

Tyler returned his eyes on me as he relaxed. “Only because they don’t know that they’re totally barking up the wrong tree.”

The beer that I had just sipped came spluttering out of my mouth before I could stop it.

Okay—so I knew Tyler was gay if what had occurred on that Friday night and Robert’s words were to be believed, but this was the first time since I started working for Tyler that I had actually heard him admit it himself. In fact, no one else at the office had even brought up the fact that he was gay, and combining that with Rachel’s obsession, I had started to think that Tyler was at least partially in the closet. But for him to openly admit it to me now was saying otherwise.

“You’re g-gay?” The words came out before I could stop them. Fuck I’m acting like Jared, I scolded myself.

Tyler raised an eyebrow, “yes I am. I hope that’s not a problem? I really like working with you, but If my being gay makes you uncomfortable than…”

“No, no!” I quickly cut in. “My having problems with you being gay would be like pot calling the kettle black since…I’m gay as well.”

Tyler looked surprised at that. “Oh, I didn’t know that.” A smile started to slowly spread over his face and my breath caught at the sheer beauty of it. “Well that’s going to make it much easier to work with you,” he said. “I was worried that it would cause problems. I don’t normally go around advertising that I’m gay, but I felt that since we’ll be working together so much that you had the right to know.”

I nodded in understanding. “So does anyone else at the office know about this?” I asked.

“Well obviously my dad does, so does Janet. Dean and few of the other lawyers do as well. Like I said, I don’t go around telling everybody, but if someone asks, I don’t lie about it.”

“What about Rachel?"

“I’ve tried telling her countless times, but she doesn’t believe me,” Tyler laughed. “She thinks I might be bi at the least since I managed to father Timmy.”

“Wow, talk about obsession,” I chuckled.

“Don’t worry, if she starts stalking me or killing off my boyfriends, I promise to take severe action against her,” Tyler joked.

I fiddled around with my bottle for a few more minutes before I managed to muster up the courage to ask something that had been nagging me for days. “Umm you don’t have to answer if you think it’s too personal, but how about Timmy? Where is his mother?”

Tyler’s expression darkened and I thought I had overstepped my bounds by asking.

“Sorry, just forget it. You don’t need to answer that.”

“No it’s OK,” Tyler shook his head as if to clear it. “It’s just that things didn’t end well between us.” Tyler took a deep breath before he continued. “I met Elizabeth, Timmy’s mother, just shortly after I finished law school. I was still going through the whole denial phase, trying to convince myself that I was straight. Looking back at it, I don’t even know why I was trying so hard, after all my dad had already seemed to know.” Tyler let out a little laugh, “the man’s crazy you know? I tried my best to hide the fact that I was gay, but he picked up on it anyway. I thought the whole gaydar thing was just a myth.”

I uncomfortably squirmed in my seat, recalling the time in the park when Robert had figured me out as well. I swear that man has some kind of magical power.

“Anyway, by the time I was willing to accept the fact that I wasn’t straight, I had already been dating Elizabeth for close to two years. After I finally gathered enough courage to accept reality and told her the truth, she dropped the bomb that she was pregnant.”

Tyler took a sip of his beer, his eyes lost in times long past. “At that time I was honestly willing to give it all up, you know? I was actually willing to try and live my life as a straight man. I swore to her that I would marry her, and we could raise our child together. I promised her that I would try my hardest to suppress being gay so I could be a proper father to my unborn child. I had always wanted to have children, so it was a sacrifice that I was willing to make. But she wouldn’t hear any of it,” the pain evident in his voice.

“Why didn’t she agree?”

Tyler let out a bitter snort, his pained expression turning to anger. “Because, and I quote, she didn’t ‘want to live with a fag’ or have ‘fag babies’.” Tyler’s hand tightly gripping the bottle had now turned white. “She said she would rather abort the baby then let it grow up to become another ‘fag’. Fuck! If I’d ever known how close-minded she was, I would never have had a relationship with her to begin with.”

I was shocked at Elizabeth’s reaction. I understood that abortion was a choice and sometimes necessary, but to go through it only because the father was gay? That was just too cruel.

“Then how did she agree to give birth to Timmy?”

“It was her idea in the end. She made a deal with me that if I paid her a handsome amount of money, she would go through with giving birth.” Tyler let out another snort, “she had always loved the fact that I came from a family of money, so I guess taking the chance of making loads of money was enough to satisfy her.”

I still couldn’t comprehend Elizabeth’s actions. How could a mother do such a thing to her own child? Only to spite the man who had finally come to terms with his sexuality. It was more than appalling.

“I agreed to Elizabeth’s demands, but made her sign full custody of Timmy over to me. I’m never going to give her the chance of taking him away from me,” Tyler said passionately.

“So where is Elizabeth now? Does she not visit Timmy at all?”

Tyler shook his head, some of the bitterness returning. “The last I heard she moved to Toronto and was dating some rich old business man forty years her senior. Apart from the day she gave birth, she has never even seen or tried to contact Timmy. I’m actually glad of that fact, Timmy doesn’t need a mother like that in his life, one to whom money and the sexual orientation of the father matter more than the child.”

I put my hand over Tyler’s and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“For what it’s worth Tyler, I’m pretty sure you make a wonderful father to Timmy.”

Tyler gradually relaxed, and his death grip on his beer loosened. The corner of his mouth twisted upwards into a small smile. It was all I could do to keep myself from swooning like a love-struck schoolgirl at the sight.

“Thanks David. I meant it when I said I think of you more than just a mere employee. You’re a good friend.”

I nodded but didn’t meet his eyes, afraid that in mine he would see my burning desire to be more than just friends. I knew I was very attracted to him, but the more I got to know about the kind of person Tyler was, the more my feelings were beginning to build. Something told me that Tyler could perhaps be that person I was looking for, the one with whom I could have something long lasting. But it was all wishful thinking on my part, something that would never come true. Not only did I not know whether Tyler was looking for a relationship, but my lying about my appearance had surely ruined any slim chances I had. How could we ever build a relationship if Tyler never feels like he could trust me?

“I have to head out now,” Tyler said looking at his watch. “I have a few errands to run. My son’s having a friend over tomorrow for a sleep over, so I still have a few things I need to get ready for that.”

I watched as Tyler got up and shrugged on his coat, mesmerized by how it pulled over his broad shoulders.

“I’ll see you on Monday and I’m sorry for unloading all of my problems on you.”

“No Tyler,” I waved his apology off, “It’s OK, after all that’s what friends are for, right?”

Tyler unleashed his patented grin, the one that showcased his dimples and increased my heart rate. “Yeah, friends, we are that. Thanks David, and have a good night.” With that he made his way towards the exit. I watched him leave; realizing that I was once again left alone at the table as I stared at what could never be mine.

To be continued…