Ugly Davey - 21. Chapter 21 – Complicated Mess

I knew the second I woke up that things were different from any usual Saturday morning. It took me a second to recall why I was sleeping on blankets spread over the brutally hard kitchen floor and not in my room on my own comfy bed. Then the events of last night quickly played through my head. Game night with Rick, him tricking a confession out of me, the unannounced invasion, and then to top it all off, being thrown off the deep end by Rick.

 

I groaned, and fell back on my makeshift bed.

 

Stupid Rick. This was all his fault.

 

I wanted to just curl up and go back to sleep but it was way too loud for that to happen. I could hear sounds of Aria and Alyssa’s laughter over the noise of the TV. Judging by the annoying high-pitched voice yelling, “I’m ready! I’m ready!” over and over again, I guessed they were watching Spongebob Squarepants.

 

“Davey honey, why are you sleeping in here? It’s dangerous!” My mom said as she came bustling into the kitchen. “Now could please get off the floor, I need to start cooking breakfast.”

 

“I’m sleeping here ‘cause you guys all took over my damn house, that’s why,” I mumbled to myself as I dry-washed my face with my hands.

 

“What was that honey?” My mom asked as she took out the eggs from the fridge.

 

“I said I love you Ma and I’m glad you’re here,” I replied, barely managing to hold back my biting sarcasm. I got up and bundled up the blankets in my arms.

 

“Oh that’s so sweet,” she said, coming over to kiss my cheek. “Now go freshen up and then give your boyfriend a call. Let him know that’ll I’ll be expecting him at the party.” Her no nonsense tone clearly indicated that she wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

“But umm Ma. He’s uhh...he’s busy and I don’t think he’ll be able to make it.”

 

“Nonsense, honey. It’s a Saturday, I’m sure he can spare a few hours to meet his potential in-laws.”

 

“What?” I said, shocked and dropping the blankets. Potential in-laws? Whoa there, talk about jumping the gun!

 

“Ma! We just started dating, stop talking like we’re getting married.”

 

She ignored me and continued to make omelets.

 

I took a deep breath and tried another approach.

 

“Ma, he went on a business trip last week. I don’t think he’s gotten back in town yet.”

 

My mom stopped and turned to look at me with a spatula in her hand.

 

“Think?” She furrowed her brows. “What do you mean think? How could you not know if he’s in town or not? He’s your boyfriend!”

 

I winced. She’d hit straight to the mark. I couldn’t deny that I hadn’t been thinking the same thing. The fact that Tyler hadn’t called me for almost a week had been worrying me more than a little.

 

Had Tyler not been serious when he had asked me out?

 

No, he’d been more than sincere. There was no way it could have been just a joke.

 

But then why hadn’t he called me, even if it was to just leave a short message?

 

He’s probably just extremely busy, that’s why. I’m sure he’ll be back at work on Monday, so everything will be fine.

 

I sighed and answered my mom. “He’s just really busy, Ma. I didn’t want to call him and disturb him.”

 

“Well if one call from his own boyfriend is too much of a hassle for him, then maybe he shouldn’t be dating at all.”

 

“Ma, it’s not like that. He’s really sweet and caring.”

 

She looked unconvinced. “Davey, if you’re having a hard time settling down, I can help you. I’ve told you many times about Mrs. Rossi’s grandson. He just moved here from Italy a few months ago. Maybe I can set you up with him, yeah? I’ve met him and he’s a really nice Italian gentleman. I’m sure you two would hit it off.”

 

Oh God please no!

 

I had to do something to get her off my back. Anything that would stop her from trying to hook me up with anyone of the “nice Italian gentleman” she knew. It was then when the idea struck. It was risky, dangerous, and totally far-fetched. But if I managed to pull it off, it would totally get her off my back.

 

Taking a shaking breath, I squared my shoulders. “OK Ma. I’ll give him a call and tell him to come to the party today.”

 

“Good honey. Now hurry up and go do just that. Breakfast is almost ready.”

 

Taking that as the cue to escape, I grabbed my phone off the counter and ran into the bathroom for some privacy. Locking the door, I put down the seat on the toilet and sat. Then I froze. The next step could either solve my problems, or screw me six ways to Sunday.

 

Do I really want to go through with this? I wondered. There would be no backing out after this.

 

I had no idea how much time passed as I sat there and stared at the phone clutched between my hands. It must have been longer than I thought because suddenly there was loud banging on the door. I jumped and almost dropped my phone onto the floor.

 

“Uncle Davey? Grandma says breakfast is ready and to hurry up. Are you having trouble going potty?” Aria’s voice rang out.

 

“No sweetheart! I’ll be right out,” I said, my voice sounding a bit too high pitched as I tried to still my rapidly beating heart.

 

“OK!” Aria replied and I heard her running footsteps head towards the kitchen.

 

I took a deep breath and looked at the phone again.

 

Here goes nothing, I thought as I searched for the number in my contacts.

 

The phone started to ring and I started fidgeting. I ripped some toilet paper and started twisting it around, waiting for someone to pick up the phone. But all it did was ring and ring.

 

Maybe he’s not home.

 

I was starting to get nervous. If this failed, I would be in some deep shit and my mom would be on my case like a cop on a donut. I was just about to hang up when it stopped ringing and a masculine voice answered.

 

“Hello?”

 

I let out a huge breath of relief but my nerves refused to die down, in fact they only got worse. I only had one chance to do this right.

 

“H-hi. It’s D-Dave. This is probably going to sound weird, maybe even crazy, but I need a huge favor. Please, just hear me out...”

 

***

 

The party was in full swing by the time we finally got to Amy and Rick's one-story house. Their house was only a few blocks away from my apartment and though the three-bedroom house only had one floor, it was very spacious and came with quite a big backyard.

 

Amy answered the door and while everyone was busy hugging and squealing, I took the chance to slip past and make my way to the back patio. I stepped outside into the crisp autumn air. Unlike last night, the sun was out and though it was a bit cool, it was still a beautiful day. The patio was decorated with streamers and balloons. A couple of picnic tables were spread out across the large yard and there were kids running around everywhere.

 

I made my way to the end of the porch where Rick was firing away the grill while talking to some of the other parents.

 

“Davey, my man!” Rick enthused as he saw me walking towards him. “So glad you’re here!” He said, grabbing me in a bear hug.

 

“Yes,” I said, my tone cold as ice. “I’m sure you are.”

 

Rick just chuckled. He knew I was peeved off at him and that just made it that much more amusing. He’d always loved getting me all riled up.

 

Why am I best friends with this guy again? I’d lost count on how many times I’d asked myself the same question throughout my whole life.

 

“Uncle Davey, you’re here!”

 

I pulled out of Rick’s grasp just in time to catch the little body jumping at me. Grabbing Josh in a hug, I twirled him around a few times.

 

“Happy birthday Little Man!” I said, placing him back onto the floor. “What’s it like finally being five years old?

 

“Thanks Uncle Davey! It’s great! Daddy says it’s only a matter of days before I start growing a beard.” Josh bounced on his toes in excitement.

 

“Did he now?” I asked, narrowing my eyes at the grinning Rick.

 

“Yep! He says he was only five years old when he got his first mustache,” Josh answered. He was looking at his dad, face full of awe.

 

Rick just stood there basking in his son’s admiration.

 

“Did you bring me a present, Uncle Davey?” Josh asked, suddenly turning bashful as he traced a pattern on the floor with his foot.

 

I ruffled his light brown hair. “Sure did Little Man. Grandma M has it. Why don’t you go find her and get it from her,” I said, indicating my mom.

 

“OK!” Josh shouted and went shooting away inside the house.

 

I turned back to Rick and let my smile slip off my face. I grabbed him by the arm and dragged him off to a secluded spot off to the side of the patio.

 

“Do you,” I said shoving my finger at his chest, “have any idea how much shit you’ve gotten me into?”

 

Rick just laughed. “Oh c’mon Davey, I don’t know why you’re being so secretive. You’re going to have to introduce him to us sooner or later, so why not now?”

 

“I’m not ready, that’s why? And do you know why I’m not ready? Because of you!” I jabbed my finger at him again.

 

“What are you talking about?” Rick asked, confused.

 

I growled. I wanted to pull my hair out, no wait scratch that. I wanted to pull his hair out.

 

“I’m talking about,” I started, trying to reign in my anger, “the fact that you made me dress up like an idiot at work. All because of some stupid bet!”

 

Rick’s eyes widened. “Oh shit! I totally forgot about that!”

 

“Forgot? You turned my life into a constantly stressful and complicated mess and you forgot?”

 

Rick winced, “Yeah sorry man.” He paused, thinking something through. “Wait, you told your mom you were dating was someone you work with. Does that mean he knows about the bet?”

 

Before I could answer, Josh’s voice cut through.

 

“Uncle Davey! Look, Timmy’s here!”

 

Josh came running outside through the patio door, dragging Timmy behind him.

 

“Oh and Grandma M said your boyfriend is here too,” he added before running off to join the rest of the kids playing on the grass.

 

I looked back at the patio, almost expecting to meet a pair of stormy gray eyes, but instead met a pair of arctic blue ones.

 

“Yeah,” I said, answering Rick’s question. “He knows.”

 

I walked toward the patio door, my nerves jumping with every step.

 

“H-hi babe, I’m glad you made it,” I said, giving Dean a strained smile.

 

***

 

“Hello?”

 

I let out a huge breath of relief but my nerves refused to die down, in fact they only got worse. I only had one chance to do this right.

 

“H-hi. It’s D-Dave. This is probably going to sound weird, maybe even crazy, but I need a huge favor. Please, just hear me out...”

 

“How did you get my number?”

 

The question startled me and made me lose my train of thought.

 

“Oh, I looked it up after the whole umm...the drunken night incident,” I ended embarrassingly.

 

Dean was silent so I took the chance to continue.

 

“Look, I know you don’t like me but I really need your help.”

 

I paused, expecting Dean to add something along the lines of how his hatred for me ran deeper than the earth’s core.

 

Taking a deep breath, I quickly blurted out everything before my nerves failed me.

 

“The thing is that my family unexpectedly arrived to visit me from Prince George because Rick—he’s my best friend—well, his son turns five today. So my parents and brother’s family came here to attend the party at Rick’s house today. But before that, Rick tricked a confession out of me about how I’m seeing someone at the moment and when my mom asked, I accidentally blurted out the truth that I’m dating someone from work. So now she wants me to bring him along to the party but there’s no way I can do that. So yeah, I was thinking...umm that maybe...you know...”

 

I gulped. Here it goes...

 

“I was wondering if you could kindly help me out by pretending to be my boyfriend for the day.”

 

I squeezed my eyes shut and waited with bated breath. The silence went on for so long that I was afraid Dean had disconnected the phone before Dean’s sudden voice startled a yelp out of me.

 

“Are you bloody insane?”

 

My heart sped up.

 

“Let me get this straight,” Dean continued. “You want me to pretend to be your boyfriend because you do not want your family to meet your real one? Don't tell me you're already hitting the bottles at this hour.”

 

“No, I’m not drunk! Look, you don’t understand. My boyfriend thinks that David from the office and I are different people. He’s dating David, the one with acne and stuff, not me Dave.”

 

“You’re lying to your own boyfriend? That’s bloody pathetic.” Dean’s voice dripped with disdain.

 

I closed my eyes in defeat and slumped down lower on the toilet. I couldn’t disagree with him there.

 

“Yeah, I am pathetic.” My voice was wobbling and I had the sudden urge to cry.

 

Sniffing my nose I decided to let Dean off the hook.

 

“T-thanks for listening to me. I’m sorry I wasted your time.” I sniffed again. “I made this mess and I’m the one who should deal with it. I’m really sorry for bothering you.”

 

I was just about to hang up when Dean’s voice came over the line.

 

“Who are you dating that’s stupid enough to believe your pathetic lies?”

 

I slumped down even further.

 

“Tyler,” I confessed. “Tyler Fritz.”

 

The silence on the other end was cold enough to make me shiver.

 

“Hello...?” I asked uncertainly after a moment.

 

“I’ll do it,” came the cool response.

 

“What?”

 

“I said I will do it. Give me the time and the place. I’ll meet you there.”

 

I couldn’t believe this was happening.

 

To be continued...