Ugly Davey - 1. Chapter 01 – I Have it All Planned Out

Chapter 01 – I Have it All Planned Out

“C’mon Davey, you know you lost the bet fair and square and the deal was that I can demand anything I want from you in return for winning,” said Rick, not looking away from where he was watching TV.

I glared at my best friend since childhood whose tall muscular build seemed to make my tiny apartment’s already cramped living room look even more cramped. Rick sat facing away from me in front of the television, his head with its close cropped light brown hair visible over the back of the couch. I looked past him to the television and saw that my best friend seemed to be watching an Ugly Betty rerun.

I glared at the TV before answering. “Yeah I know, but what you’re proposing is outright ridiculous, completely impossible, and not to mention that it could probably end up costing me my new job before I even get to start it.”

“No you won’t,” Rick replied turning around to look at me. “It may be ridiculous, but it is possible, and the worst that could come out of it would be to give your soon-to-be new co-workers a few laughs.”

Even from my place next to the kitchen counter, I could see the wicked gleam in my best friend’s blue eyes. That same evil look had gotten us in trouble countless times during our childhood. Rick always had a knack for coming up with plans for different pranks that the two of us could pull on our unsuspecting victims. Though we’d both had a ball planning and carrying out our pranks to perfection, for some reason we had always ended up being caught. I had lost count of the times when either my or Rick’s parents had pulled us out from our hide-outs by our ears before starting to full out yell at us for our immaturity. Of course, every time both Rick and I had pretended to listen to our parents’ lectures, before escaping to our rooms to laugh our guts out.

Even now when we were both twenty-five years old, I could still see that Rick had not lost his wicked sense of humor, and as always I was helpless to do anything but give in.

“OK fine, a deal’s a deal. But I still don’t understand how we’ll ever be able to pull this off,” I said with an exasperated sigh.

“That’s easy! I have it all planned out to the T,” Rick cackled in what could only be described as evil amusement. “Here’s the basic gist of the plan. In return for my win, I want you to dress up all ugly-like,” he said nodding his head towards the Betty character on TV who had on a huge pair of glasses, mouth full of braces, eyebrows in a desperate need of plucking, and an extremely gaudy sense of style when it came to her wardrobe.

“For a whole of three months, beginning from your first day at work as a secretary for one of those prissy lawyers at that law firm, you must change your appearance to look ugly for once in your life.”

I glared at my friend. “First of all I’m going to be a Personal Assistant not a Secretary. And what the hell do you mean by ‘once in my life’?”

Rick gave me a ‘c’mon you can’t be that stupid to not be able to see the obvious’ look. “Seriously Davey, we all know you’re one of the hottest things on the planet, with your big brown eyes, wavy dark brown hair, and that slim 6’ hot bod.”

I raised an eyebrow at that. “Wow Rick, why didn’t you ever tell me that you’ve been lusting after me so much? And here I am wasting time going to gay bars to pick up guys, when I had such a hunk already waiting at my doorstep.”

Rick flushed a deep red at that remark, before tossing his empty beer can at my head. I easily dodged the lousy aim before I burst into laughter. “Shut up Dave! You know I don’t swing that way, and the only body I lust for is that of my sweet Amy,” exclaimed Rick, still blushing like mad.

“Yeah dude, even after five years I still can’t see what Amy sees in you. Are you sure the only reason she married you wasn’t because you knocked her up? Because according to me, I doubt she would have married you if she wasn’t pregnant with Josh,” I pretended to contemplate.

“Oh shut up! My Amy loves me, and even without Josh we definitely would have gotten married. Perhaps not as early as we did, but it would have happened eventually,” defended Rick.

I snickered at Rick’s passionate defense of his marriage. “I was only kidding Rick. I know how much you and Amy love each other, if the amount of googly-eyes you guys make at each other when together is anything to go by. But going back to your plan, I don’t think it’s going to work. The law firm I applied to would never have given me that job if I looked like that in the first place,” I said pointing to the TV screen. “Can you imagine one of those top notch lawyers having a personal assistant that looks like the male version of Betty?”

“You can’t lie to me Davey, I already know that it was the lawyer’s old secretary who conducted your interview, that too by phone since you were out of town at the time. You know they want you for this job, otherwise they never would have agreed to hire you based solely on an interview over the phone and even gone as far as to FedEx your contract to Prince George for you to sign. The fact that you were up north attending to your dad’s health and not in Vancouver at the time of the interview is what makes my plan so perfect. Besides you impressed them Davey, and couple that with the glowing recommendation you received from your old boss, they would be more than happy to have you on board at their firm. So you see, nobody at that firm has actually seen what you look like. If they don’t like the way you look, it’s their loss and they can’t do anything about it now since you’ve already signed the contract.”

“Wow you sure have spent some time planning this out, haven’t you?” I was thoroughly impressed. Rick sat there smirking and looking awfully proud of himself. “Fine I’ll try this out, but if I still end up losing my job you better be ready to find me an even better one!”

Rick once again unleashed his evil grin. “Sure thing bud, it’ll all work out. I promise.” He turned back to watching Ugly Betty before letting out another amused chuckle. “And who knows Davey, you just might end up finding the love of your life there just like Betty.”

Rick did not see the empty beer can flying his way before it hit him.

To be continued...