Ugly Davey - 22. Chapter 22 – Dean

Chapter 22 – Dean

 

“H-hi babe, I’m glad you made it,” I said, giving Dean a strained smile.

 

As I stood right in front of Dean, it took all I had not to flinch or run away as his cool gaze bore into me. I could also feel Rick’s eyes trained on us–analyzing our every move.

 

Damn it! I knew I had to pull off being Dean’s boyfriend as naturally and convincingly as possible. Otherwise Rick would definitely realize something was up, and knowing Rick, he wouldn’t stop until he found out just what that was.

 

Shit, why did I call Dean? Why couldn’t I have just told my mom that my boyfriend was still out of town and unable to make it to the damn party? My insides were beginning to churn with the onset of panic. There was no way I could just send Dean back home now that both my mom and Rick had seen him. The only thing I could do now was move forward with my stupid plan and ensure that it didn’t fail. I took a deep breath and strengthened my resolve.

 

Please God don’t make Dean punch me out for doing this. I sent up a quick prayer and before I could chicken out, I put my arms around Dean’s neck and gave him a tight hug. Dean stayed rigid in my arms, his own remained glued to his side.

 

Shit, shit, shit. This was not working, no way would Rick nor my family fall for this. I had to make Dean cooperate or my plan would be a complete disaster.

 

Turning my face towards Dean in the pretense of kissing his cheek, I whispered into his ear. “Please, please, please, just go along with this. I really need to convince them that we’re actually going out instead of just pretending that we are.”

 

I knew Dean owed me nothing and it wouldn’t be surprising if he got fed up and left me to deal with the fall out–after all he wasn’t my biggest fan. Therefore I couldn’t help but be shocked when Dean’s arms came up to wrap loosely around my back.

 

Closing my eyes, I breathed out a sigh of relief.

 

“Thanks,” I whispered.

 

“Davey honey! Introduce us properly to your boyfriend.”

 

I looked over Dean’s shoulder to see my mom barreling towards us. Quickly letting Dean go, I pulled him off to the side to clear the path of the doorway before my mom could run us over. In my haste to move I ended up stumbling and if it weren’t for Dean’s arm wrapping around my waist, I surely would have done a face plant right onto the patio floor.

 

“T-thanks,” I mumbled to Dean, feeling my face flush.

 

Before Dean could respond, he was pulled down into a hug by my mom who had finally reached us.

 

“Hi there! Davey hasn’t told us anything about you, but it’s lovely to meet you,” she said as she crushed Dean to herself.

 

If I hadn’t been nervous and on the brink of shitting bricks, I would surely have laughed at the image the cool and aloof Dean being smothered by my mom created. Oh how I wished I had a camera to capture the look of utter shock on Dean’s face. An amused snort escaped me before I could cover it with a fake cough. When Dean looked at me and narrowed his eyes I quickly glanced away.

 

“Ma, let him go before you squeeze the guts out of him,” I chided my mother.

 

“Davey, don’t be gross,” she reprimanded.

 

I rolled my eyes.

 

“I’m Maura Matthews, Dave’s mother. I’m sorry but my son still hasn’t told any of us your name.”

 

My mom gave me an evil look but I barely noticed since my eyes were on Dean. I had no idea on how he was going to take interacting with my family. Try as I might, but I couldn’t see Dean mingling with people at something like a five year-old’s birthday party. Heck I could barely even get over the fact that Dean was actually wearing jeans and a dark blue sweater. Expensive as they looked, it was still the first time I had ever seen Dean dress so casually. Well unless you counted the time when he was wrapped in nothing more than a towel, fresh out of the shower with water still dripping down his...

 

I shook my head violently. No, I couldn’t go there. Not if I wanted to remember what had happened next.

 

Returning my focus to Dean and my mom, I noticed that my dad and Michael had joined us on the porch and were now introducing themselves.

 

So much for being the perfect boyfriend making the introductions, I berated myself as Dean finished shaking hands with Michael.

 

“So Dean,” my dad began as he slipped one arm around my mom’s waist while grabbing the beer Michael handed him with the other. I blinked as Michael also passed a bottle to Dean, only then realizing that Dean’s other arm was still wrapped around my waist. Our positions were mirroring that of my parents. I sighed inwardly in relief that at least we were acting convincingly and Dean was willingly playing along–at least for now.

 

“Davey tells us that you’re a lawyer. Mind telling us more?” My dad asked.

 

Dean cleared his throat. “I’m a partner at the firm Dave works at. I mostly work with corporations though I do branch out into other sectors every now and then.”

 

“Oh are you Davey’s boss?” My mom chimed in. “He said he was a secretary for one of the partners.”

 

“Ma! How many times do I have to tell you that I’m a PA, not a secretary,” I whined giving her the stink eye.

 

She waved her hand at me as to say that it was the same thing. I would have argued further but Dean cut in.

 

“No, Dave works with a colleague of mine. He’s...”

 

It was Dean’s turn to be cut off as Rick joined us with a tray of burgers he had been grilling.

 

“Burgers are up,” he said, placing the tray on a nearby table. He then stepped back and looked Dean over critically, everything from his looks to how his arm was wrapped around me. I knew he was judging and analyzing each and every detail.

 

I leaned closer into Dean and prayed that Rick fell for it. I would never hear the end of it otherwise.

 

“I’m Rick,” Rick said, suddenly holding his hand out to Dean.

 

While Rick had been scrutinizing Dean, Dean had been doing the same thing to Rick.

 

“Dean Smith,” he replied coolly, shaking Rick’s hand.

 

Rick’s eye’s widened at that before he quickly looked at me with narrowed eyes. Walking up to me, he grabbed my arm and started pulling me away back towards the edge of the patio.

 

“We’ll be right back,” he called over his shoulder.

 

When we were out of everyone’s hearing distance, Rick stopped and whirled me around to face him.

 

“Are you out of your mind?” He said in an angry whisper. “You’re dating Dean fucking Smith? No wonder you didn’t tell me! Dude, I thought you said he hated your guts after that whole coffee incident!”

 

“Oh, well umm we worked it out. He doesn’t hate me, it was just a misunderstanding on my part,” I said, trying to sound convincing.

 

Rick looked at me as though he was trying to gauge the truth of my statement while I kept sneaking glances to where I had left Dean alone with my family. I had no idea how Dean was handling all this and how badly he wanted to murder me for putting him in such a situation. My mom was surely grilling him about his whole life at the moment.

 

“Are you sure he isn’t playing with you?”

 

I looked back at Rick in surprise. I had rarely ever heard Rick sound so serious as he did right now. His eyes were boring into mine, trying to read my eyes to see if I was hiding something.

 

“Are you sure he isn’t trying to get back at you by pretending to like you and be your boyfriend? Using you for his own gain?”

 

I almost laughed at the irony. If anyone was using someone for his own gain, it was me.

 

“He’s not using me, Rick. Trust me.” My voice was steady because even after all I was hiding from Rick that was in fact the truth. The one being used here was Dean. I inwardly cringed at how cruel that sounded.

 

Rick looked at me for a moment longer before conceding. “OK, I believe you.”

 

I tried not to show my relief.

 

“Dad! Are we having cake soon?” Josh interrupted us as he came running towards us with Timmy in tow.

 

Timmy. Oh shit!

 

My eyes widened and I quickly looked around for Tyler. In all my nervousness regarding Dean, I had completely forgotten that Timmy would be at this party. If Timmy was here, that meant...

 

I quickly looked around, expecting to see Tyler at any minute now.

 

“Hi Mr. Davey,” Timmy said, giving me a shy smile.

 

“Hi Timmy, it’s nice to meet you again,” I said, bending down to give him a hug which was returned enthusiastically. Timmy and I had hit it off pretty well the day Josh and I had spent at Tyler’s house. “Is your daddy here too?” I tried asking casually.

 

Timmy shook his head. “Nope, he went away for work. I’m staying with Grandpa and he dropped me off here.”

 

“Timmy is sleeping over tonight!” Josh exclaimed, bouncing with excitement. “We’re gonna have so much fun playing with all my new toys. Right Timmy?”

 

Timmy nodded his head, a grin stretching from ear to ear.

 

“That’s great Little Man. I bet you got a lot of cool new toys,” I said, ruffling Josh’s hair.

 

He nodded before asking Rick again. “Can we have cake now? Pleaseeee.”

 

I chuckled at the puppy-eyed look he was shooting at Rick. Rick just shook his head, well used to his son’s antics.

 

“Go ask your mother,” he said, shooing them away.

 

After Josh and Timmy ran away to find Amy, Rick turned towards me and gave me smile.

 

“I’m glad you finally found someone Davey. Maybe he’s the one, yeah?”

 

I returned Rick’s smile with one that was hopefully convincing.

 

“Yeah, maybe.”

 

***

 

The day went by surprisingly smoothly and I found myself enjoying myself. As crazy as my family was, I loved them and had missed them more than I was willing to admit. It was great to spend time with them again.

 

Things began to quiet down after the food had been eaten, cake had been cut, and presents had been opened. Many of the party guests had started heading back home, leaving only close family and friends behind.

 

As I entered the family room from the kitchen holding two beers, I glanced around looking for Dean who only a moment before had been talking to Michael and Rick. Seeing no sign of him, I looked out of the window facing the back patio and saw a lone figure standing outside. It was gradually getting darker outside as the sun began to set.

 

“Hey,” I said, coming up behind Dean. He glanced at me before turning back around. “I uhh...I got you a beer,” I said, holding out one of the bottles.

 

Dean took the beer but the silence remained. Though I was confident that we had pulled off being a couple to all the partygoers, we had actually barely interacted throughout the day. We hadn’t exchanged more than a few words to each other since I had been busy helping Rick and Amy with food preparations and supervising some of the games that had been set up for the children. On the other hand, my family had monopolized all of Dean’s time as they spent hours talking to him.

 

As hesitant as I had been about bringing Dean into the fold and how he’d deal with my family, he had pleasantly surprised me. Not only had he managed to show interest in what was being discussed with him whenever someone talked to him, he also never gave the impression that he was bored or only here as a favor to me. All in all, I doubted anyone at the party would have been able to tell that instead of the couple we appeared to be, Dean didn’t really like me. I had no idea that Dean could be such a convincing actor, but then again it was probably what made him a great lawyer when dealing with clients.

 

When Dean refused to speak up, I sighed and took a seat on the steps leading to the backyard. I took a sip of my beer as I gazed at the setting sun. It was starting to get chilly and I shivered slightly as the wind ruffled my hair.

 

“I wanted to say thank you,” I said to Dean, still watching the sun set behind the houses. “I know I asked a lot from you today and I know you didn’t owe me any help, but...I’m really grateful. You have no idea how much. I know spending a Saturday with me was probably the last thing on earth you wanted to do–considering how much you hate me and all,” I ended with a nervous chuckle.

 

Dean stood still for a moment longer, before he took a seat beside me. I glanced at him from the corner of my eye but his eyes were trained straight ahead.

 

“I don’t hate you.”

 

Startled, I barely managed not to choke on my beer. The words had been said quietly and I wasn’t positively sure that I had heard them right.

 

“What?”

 

Dean gave me an annoyed look at having to repeat himself. “I said that I don’t bloody hate you.”

 

To say that I was completely baffled was the understatement of the century.

 

“What are you talking about? Of course you hate. You hate my guts!” I doubt anyone had ever so earnestly tried to convince another of the fact that they hated them. “You’ve been threatening to ‘out’ me to Tyler for weeks, so excuse me if I don’t believe you when you say that you’ve been making my life difficult because you like me.” My words were loaded with sarcasm.

 

Dean glared at me but I refused to cower.

 

“You think I’m the one making your life difficult?” Dean said, his voice getting heated. “No one is more to blame for that than you yourself! I’ve given you countless opportunities to come clean to Tyler–to tell him the truth. You say you want to start a relationship with Tyler, yet that relationship is based on nothing but lies that you have spread. You can’t honestly believe that this is a basis of a healthy relationship. You’re only setting yourself up for a load of pain, and you’re dragging Tyler down with you. So forgive me if I don’t believe that you have any feelings for Tyler. Maybe you were not informed but love does not equate to lying and causing the one you love pain.”

 

I was taken aback by Dean’s heated tirade. I knew there had to be a degree of truth in what he had said but right now my blood was boiling and I wanted to do nothing more than lash out.

 

“Quit talking like you give a shit about what happens to Tyler. Everyone at the office knows that you hate him–how jealous you are of him and all that he’s achieved.”

 

The look Dean gave me could have cracked glass.

 

“I don’t care what everyone thinks,” he ground out, clearly trying to reign in his flaring temper. “All I care about is that Tyler shouldn’t have to find out the truth from a third outside source. You’re the one who’s lying to him and you should be the one to tell him the truth, not someone else!”

 

All of a sudden it was like everything became clear to me. It was like having an epiphany. In an instant all of my anger drained out as I focused solely on Dean’s clenched jaw and hand fisted tightly around his beer bottle. Dean’s usually cold eyes were swirling with unsaid emotion.

 

I kept my eye on Dean’s face so I could gauge his reaction to my next words.

 

“Is that what happened to you?” I asked tentatively. “You lied to Tyler about something and he found out the truth from someone else?”

 

If I hadn’t been looking for it, I would have completely missed the slight wince in Dean’s expression. The corner of his mouth tightened ever so little, his eyes slightly narrowed. But in the blink of an eye he once again donned his usual expressionless mask.

 

I knew I had hit the mark.

 

“You and Tyler were friends, the best of friends from the little I could tell from the photograph in Tyler’s house.”

 

I paused to let Dean confirm or deny that but he remained silent. Arctic blue eyes were once again trained on the horizon beyond but I knew he wasn’t seeing anything. He was listening to me, but he was also lost somewhere deep in thought–perhaps in memories of the past.

 

I felt like I was on a roll and words started spewing out of my mouth unchecked.

 

“What happened Dean? What did you do that caused Tyler so much pain? I saw it in his eyes when he told me about the photograph. What happened that made the world think that you hate his guts when all you’ve been doing is secretly watching out for him–trying to stop people like me causing him more pain? That’s what you’ve been doing, haven’t you? And that’s why you’ve been trying to stop me from hurting him like you once did yourself.”

 

It all made sense. Dean didn’t hate Tyler at all; he just let the world think that way. The question was, why?

 

Was Dean in love with Tyler? I wasn’t sure why but I didn’t think that was the case. This was something more than a mere spat between two lovers.

 

“Why?” I whispered. “Why are you letting the world, including the man you care so deeply about, think that you’re nothing more than a cold-hearted bastard?”

 

Realizing that Dean was going to remain silent, I let out a sigh.

 

“Look Dean, I like Tyler. I like him a lot, I really do. I swear to you that I never had the intention to hurt him when all this started. I can blame it all on Rick and his stupid bet but that won’t be fair. You’re right. I’ve had many chances where I could have come clean and told Tyler the truth–chances that you’ve given me–but I’ve chickened out every time the opportunity arose.”

 

Even from his profile, I could tell that Dean was listening to me intently.

 

“It’s just...” I trailed off, embarrassed of what I was going to say next. “It’s just that I’ve never had anyone like me for me, y’know?”

 

Dean glanced at me, looking me up and down as though he was appraising me, before looking away again. He finally broke his silence with an amused snort.

 

“You’re telling me you’ve never met a guy interested in you before? I find that quite hard to believe.”

 

Whoa, was that a compliment? I shook my head, probably not.

 

“No it’s just that...Look I’ve had my share of one night stands–quick hookups.” I shrugged, embarrassed beyond belief. “I’ve even had a few attempts at relationships, the longest probably lasting a mere three weeks. It’s just that every time I’ve felt as though the guy’s only been interested in what’s on the outside. Cliché as it may sound, but I wanted to feel what it was like to be loved for who you really are and not what’s on the surface.”

 

Dean looked at me again. My eyes caught in his arctic blue gaze. He didn’t say anything, but his eyes told me that he understood. After all, he had probably felt the same way in his teen years when he dealt with his own insecurities regarding his looks.

 

We sat there in silence until Dean spoke up.

 

“And you think that the man you’re looking for is Tyler?”

 

I sighed.

 

“Tyler saw me at my ugliest and he didn’t care. You probably don’t know, but Tyler’s met me as Dave as well.”

 

Dean’s eyes widened at my confession.

 

“And do you know what he did? After I made my interest in him clear? He said he was already falling for David–acne-ridden, garish clothes wearing, greasy-as-fuck-haired David! Can you believe that? He wanted me, even looking like someone that nobody would have ever desired. He saw beyond my looks. He saw me.”

 

“And that’s what you’ve always wanted,” Dean said softly. “Someone to love you for who you are.”

 

Whether Dean was talking about me or about himself, I didn’t know. But at that moment I knew that he understood me completely. More than Rick or Amy or anyone ever had.

 

“Yeah...” I replied.

 

I looked up and our eyes locked. My breath caught in my lungs. Dean’s eyes were just as blue as they ever were–like the deep ocean blue of the Arctic Ocean. But something about them was different because they didn’t appear as cool as ice as they usually did. Instead there was a soft spark of something warm beneath the surface. I couldn’t help but be drawn into them.

 

Without even making the conscious decision, I found myself leaning towards him. And If I wasn’t mistaken, Dean was doing the exact same thing. It was like a force was pulling us towards one another as our gazes remained locked. If my heart was beating faster or my breaths were coming in closer together, I paid it no heed. I couldn’t focus on anything but what I was seeing in those crystal blue eyes and I wanted to get closer, no I needed to get closer just to figure out what it was.

 

Our faces were so close, our lips a hairbreadth away. My eyes fluttered closed and I was on the verge of ridding the small distance between us. I didn’t know what was going to happen, but at the moment I couldn’t think. My mind was blank.

 

I felt the light brush of Dean’s lips across mine and then everything shattered. Shocked, we both quickly pulled back from another as the sound of the ringing phone cut through the night.

 

I pulled the phone out of my pocket and looked down at Tyler’s name flashing on the screen.

 

“You’d better get that.”

 

I jumped. Dean’s voice was rough and looking up I saw that the spark of warmth I had seen in his eyes was once again replaced by the frigid coolness that had always been so constant. He was looking down at the phone and had noticed who was calling.

 

Dean stood up and looked down at me. “You say Tyler’s sees you for who you really are, but is that really the truth? Is David really Dave?”

 

I stared at Dean speechless, the phone still blaring in my hand.

 

“Just remember that in trying to be someone else that you don’t end up forgetting who you really are.”

 

Without another word, Dean walked back into the brightly lit house. Leaving me sitting alone under the darkening sky.

 

Placing the phone to my ear, I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding. I watched it puff in the cold autumn air and pressed the connect button.

 

“Hello?”

 

“David,” Tyler’s warm voice washed over me like a plunge into cold water.

 

I let out a shaky breath, realizing just how stupid of a mistake I had been about to make. Again. You would have thought that I’d learned my lesson after the first time, but apparently I hadn’t learned anything at all.

 

“Tyler...” I said, wondering if Tyler heard the same guilt in my voice that I could. I stood up and walked up the steps of the patio. Instead of going inside, I went to stand in front of the window and looked into Rick’s family room.

 

“I’m so sorry for not calling you earlier, David, but everything has been so crazy here that...”

 

I listened to Tyler with one ear as my gaze tracked Dean’s movement across the room and how my dad stopped him as they exchanged a few words.

 

“...let you know that I should be done everything by tomorrow morning and will be on a flight back home by in the evening. So I’ll be back at the office come Monday...”

 

I saw my dad shake Dean’s hand, only to let go to call to someone over his shoulder. I saw as my mom came in from the kitchen and went to where Dean and my dad stood. More words were exchanged before my mom pulled Dean down into a hug. I noticed how Dean’s hands hesitated before coming up to return my mom’s hug. Even from the distance I noticed how Dean’s eyes closed and a bit of tension left his shoulders.

 

“David,” Tyler’s voice sounded in my ear again, but this time with a tint of sadness. “Don’t be too down, yeah? I promise I’ll make it up to you, ‘k?”

 

It was only then that I realized that Tyler might have taken my lack of response as sign of my being angry towards him. Turning away from the window I tried to reassure him that it wasn’t the case.

 

“Hey, I’m alright. Trust me, I completely understand. Work is work, and I’m not surprised that all of Canada wants Mr. Tyler Fritz’s help. He is the world’s best lawyer after all.”

 

Tyler let out a surprised laugh. I could almost picture him shaking his head in amusement.

 

“You sure are good for my ego, Mr. Matthews,” Tyler said, chuckling.

 

“Of course I am,” I smiled.

 

Suddenly Tyler became quiet. I heard him sigh before he added softly. “I miss you David.”

 

My smile vanished as a wave of guilt assaulted me. Tyler was all the way across the country, alone and thinking about me, while here I was about to kiss...

 

I closed my eyes at the realization of just how big of a mistake I had been able to commit.

 

How could I do that to Tyler?

 

The past week of missing Tyler, constantly thinking about him, had all just vanished in that one moment with Dean. It was bad enough that I was lying to Tyler regarding who I was, but to actually cheat...

 

The self-loathing that had flared within me the last time I had let things with Dean get too far rose up again. There was no way I could let something like that happen again. I couldn’t betray Tyler like that, wouldn’t hurt him like that. The only way to do that was to forget about Dean altogether, to stay away from him. Sure today I had learned that he wasn’t the cold, detached person he liked others to believe he was. But maybe it was better to go back to thinking that he was. It was easier that way.

 

Tyler was my boyfriend. Dean was just a fake stand-in, and after my parents left to return home tomorrow, there would never be the need for him to continue the charade. Tyler was my present and future, and after today, Dean would be nothing but a memory of the past.

 

Reaching the decision and knowing it to be the right one, I gave Tyler all my focus.

 

“I miss you too.”

 

***

 

After finishing the call with Tyler, I re-entered the house. The warmth of the house was extremely welcoming after being out in the cold for so long.

 

Looking around I noticed that everyone but my and Rick’s family had gone home. But where was Dean? I asked my mom that when she came out of the kitchen.

 

“Ma, have you seen Dean?”

 

She gave me a confused look. “He left Davey, honey. Didn’t you say goodbye?”

 

I don’t know why it surprised me that he had left, but it did.

 

I shook my head. “I got a call from my...uhh from my boss. I had to take it.”

 

My mom gave me a disappointed look. “That’s not right, honey. Dean deserved a proper goodbye regardless of who was calling. You surely could have spared him a minute. That’s what good boyfriends do.” She turned around and went to help Amy clean up the kitchen.

 

I couldn’t help but wince because I knew my mom was right. I wasn’t a good boyfriend. I hadn’t been a good boyfriend at all. Not when it came to being a fake one to Dean, nor a real one to Tyler. But I promised that from this day forward I’d try my best at being the one that Tyler deserved.

 

It was only right.

 

To be continued...