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    Ieshwar
  • Ieshwar
  • Author
  • 03/03/2013
  • 1,102 Words
  • 1,428 Views
  • 22 Comments
Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
2013 - Spring - A Night To Remember Entry

Till The Last Breath - 1. Till The Last Breath

Till The Last Breath

By Ieshwar

 

I am finally here, held tight in his arms. I realize this is it- the end. The end of this mundane life, the end of my dark world, the end of me…

I have heard that during your last moments, your whole life flashes in front of your eyes. I know it won’t happen for me. I never remembered anything about the earlier days of my life. Yes, a few times, I had felt something, a gut feeling deep inside me- a past sense of closeness, the presence of others, probably siblings. But each time I tried to grasp that feeling, it just slipped out of my hand, like some treacherous fog. The images, mere shapes and colours, were too distant to make any sense. Sometimes, I wondered if they were my own memories…

The only thing I remember is waking up, cold and alone, with an immense black canvas looming over me. No shiny stars, no glowing moon came out to welcome me. The only things that greeted me were the nocturnal sounds breaking the silence, like some eerie lullaby, a lullaby to death.

I had no recollection of who I was, how I ended up here. Several questions plagued me, and each one went unanswered. As I looked around me, trying to make sense of this new world, I realized that this abyss was my life. This was my world. With a bitter resolve, I plunged into the shadows. For I was a creature of the dark.

For the next few nights, I wandered through the maze of shadows. Standing aside, I witnessed the laws of nature as the powerful sought out the weak. I wondered on which side I was- the hunter or the hunted. But then, I feared the risk of finding out. I had seen enough to know that in this world, a mistake meant death, a hesitation meant death, a breath meant death. So I became a silent spectator of the acts of Mother Nature.

Until I saw him earlier tonight.

Weaving through the wizened hands of the faceless trees, I stumbled upon a clearing. He was sitting there in the middle. From the depth of the shadows, I watched as he gazed at the pale moon. A translucent gray cloak covered his body, barely hiding his form. But then, how could it? His golden skin glowed with the radiance of thousand suns. Even the feeble moonlight seemed overwhelmed by its sheer beauty.

He was unlike anything I had ever seen. I just couldn’t tear my eyes off him. Time itself stood still, as if even the ruthless night refused to move on and leave the sight of this ethereal beauty.

Then our eyes met. I didn’t know how, why or when. I simply felt my heart skip a beat. Innocent amber eyes bore into my soul and all defenses and walls I had built around me came crashing down. Our eyes remained locked for immeasurable moments; neither of us had the courage to break away. Something tugged at my heart and, in spite of myself, I found I was drawn to those eyes.

I came closer, closer until I could feel his body heat. Entranced, I let his warmth wash over my feeble body, like soft kisses from a long lost lover. My body tingled at the thought of those kisses. Would they be just like I had dreamed? Would they hold the passion I had been looking for? I could almost feel those smoldering lips on my own.

As I crept closer, fear filled the amber eyes. He flicked a hand in my direction, as if to push me away. A smile crept across my face. How could I even think of hurting him? I would rather put myself in between him and any kind of pain. But the crease of worry never left his face.

As the distance between us further decreased, the soothing warmth started overwhelming my frail body. His golden glow reflected on my dark skin. Deep inside, a survival instinct, the same that kept me alive for the past days, screamed at me to turn around, to escape. My brain fought to gain control over my body. But it was a hopeless fight. The tug on my heart was far stronger. How could I ever turn away from the gaze of those amber eyes, from the pain he was hiding beneath those innocent eyes? I had to continue. Our fates had been sealed the moment our eyes met.

Against the protest of my body, I took one more step. I could almost touch him now. While my body fought against his fiery wards, I realized that the fear and the worry I had seen in his eyes earlier, had been for me. He kept pushing me away to warn me, to protect me. I smiled at that thought even though my body started to give up.

I watched as the fear and the worry gave in to sadness. We could never be one. We both knew that from the beginning. He was the son of The Light while I was the spawn of The Dark. Our star-crossed love was never meant to be. Yet, I would have braved even the most unfortunate destiny just to have that one single moment by his side.

The pain spread throughout my whole body as his radiance consumed every cell of my self. I could feel the searing agony while my skin turned to nothing. Yet, I stood my ground, unwavering, with the smile still on my lips. How could I not with him by my side?

With the saddest smile, he extended an arm and took me in his embrace, leaving behind parts of my corporeal self, a heap of nothing. All pain, all agony was gone now, so were all the differences of Light and Dark. We became one. I touched his golden skin and felt his warmth seep to the core of my soul. I looked at the amber eyes and for the first time, I saw it- unbridled love, love for me. The love he had been hiding to protect me was here now.

But the end has come now. With a final effort, I bring my lips to his. It’s just as I have dreamed. This is the passion, the fire I have been looking for my whole life. As my essence turns to nothing, with the last shred of consciousness, I realize this was the whole purpose of my life- to be burnt in his flame.

*****

 [spoiler] If you see from the eyes from a romantic, you will see love everywhere, even in the moth who keeps coming to the flame to the point of death. [/spoiler]
 Huge Thanks to my beta-reader, Marty and my editor, Sharon. You guys rock! And a huge 'thank you' to you to for reading till this point. Now, please click on this icon right below and let me know what you think. It's just one click away. wink.png
Copyright © 2013 Ieshwar; All Rights Reserved.
  • Like 11
Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
2013 - Spring - A Night To Remember Entry
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Chapter Comments

Fishwings

This was lovely. There were several lines in this story that were just so great: "A translucent gray cloak covered his body, barely hiding his form. But then, how could it? His golden skin glowed with the radiance of thousand suns. Even the feeble moonlight seemed overwhelmed by its sheer beauty." and numerous other ones included. I loved how you explored the concept of a doomed love using these mythical characters of light and dark, your "spoiler" line tied everything together.

I also really like this line -- really resonated within me: "A translucent gray cloak covered his body, barely hiding his form. But then, how could it? His golden skin glowed with the radiance of thousand suns. Even the feeble moonlight seemed overwhelmed by its sheer beauty."

Ieshwar
On 03/15/2013 04:09 AM, SidLove said:
Reading this, I wonder if I am even qualified enough of giving a review to it. Just so beautiful your descriptions were! And oh, the pain, heart-wrenching words were cutting through my veins. I could feel your narrator's pain.

Very poetic, very good! :hug:

You're more than qualified. You're a Promising Author, dude! LOL. Thanks for this very beautiful review. Glad that I have managed to evoke the emotions I wanted. You're really sweet. :hug:
Ieshwar
On 03/15/2013 05:39 AM, carringtonrj said:
Strong, imaginative writing. An interesting idea, delivered very successfully. A kind of meditation on love: the hidden ending draws out the metaphor fully, but does not detract from the power and implications of what had come before. Lovely.
Thanks for the review, RJ. The delivery was rather challenging. Poetic prose can be really tricky for me. I'm glad that I've somewhat managed to do justice to the idea.
Ieshwar
On 03/15/2013 07:59 AM, Mann Ramblings said:
I kept picturing this as the night falling in love with the sun and being burned alive by its radiance, only to repeat the process each day. Lovely and poetic prose.

 

Well done :)

That's the beauty of a poetic approach. It can be so subjective, depending on the reader. Looking back, the night-day does fit. Thanks for the review, Mann. :)
Ieshwar
On 03/15/2013 01:09 PM, Luc Rosen said:
This was lovely. There were several lines in this story that were just so great: "A translucent gray cloak covered his body, barely hiding his form. But then, how could it? His golden skin glowed with the radiance of thousand suns. Even the feeble moonlight seemed overwhelmed by its sheer beauty." and numerous other ones included. I loved how you explored the concept of a doomed love using these mythical characters of light and dark, your "spoiler" line tied everything together.

I also really like this line -- really resonated within me: "A translucent gray cloak covered his body, barely hiding his form. But then, how could it? His golden skin glowed with the radiance of thousand suns. Even the feeble moonlight seemed overwhelmed by its sheer beauty."

Yeah, with the approach I have used, I know that the identity of the two creatures would be difficult to gauge. It was intentional, giving them an "unworldly" feel. I really debated about placing the spoiler line. In the end, I did it, just to make things more clear. Thanks for the review, FishWings. :)
Ieshwar
On 03/17/2013 01:07 PM, Cia said:
You were always great at the allegorical style. I loved this, except how did he 'know from the beginning' that they weren't meant to be when he wandered without knowing who or where he was?
I guess it boils down to instinct. It's the same instinct which told him to stay away from the chain of Hunter-Prey (he was indeed the prey), to stay deep in the shadows. That's why he never deliberately went towards the flame/Light Creature. He was drawn to it, pulled by his heart, his emotions. Deep down, his survival instinct always tried to caution him (at one point, trying to "get control of his body" and knock some sense).

 

Many times, we know that we are taking the wrong decisions but at that moment, it's the only right thing to do.

 

Thanks for reading and the review. Glad that you loved it. :)

Ieshwar
On 03/16/2013 04:08 AM, comicfan said:
You leave your characters open to interpretation. Is it the night and the sun, devil and angel, a god and a human, or life drawn to death? Your imagery is simply stunning. Very nice job.
To be frank, when writing, I had thought leaving the characters vague could lead to some confusions. But now that I read the reviews, I realised that this story could be applied to many things, apart from the moth-flame which inspired me. Thanks for the comment, Wayne. :)
Yettie One

I love the way you leave this completely open to the interpretation of the reader.

As Wayne says there are so many possibilities, and that is part of the charm of the story. You are able to sit back and contemplate the flow in relation to any number of different characters and see a new and different translation of the story.

This is a fine piece of writing in that it is laced with imagery. You use clever words that create a picture of the scene, vividly playing out as you read. I really enjoyed that sensuality to the work.

Nice entry. Thanks :) x

Ieshwar
On 03/17/2013 07:16 PM, Yettie One said:
I love the way you leave this completely open to the interpretation of the reader.

As Wayne says there are so many possibilities, and that is part of the charm of the story. You are able to sit back and contemplate the flow in relation to any number of different characters and see a new and different translation of the story.

This is a fine piece of writing in that it is laced with imagery. You use clever words that create a picture of the scene, vividly playing out as you read. I really enjoyed that sensuality to the work.

Nice entry. Thanks :) x

Thank you. :) I left out the identity of the two characters to add to the poetic feel. I never realised that it could be interpreted in so many ways. So even unintentional, it worked. So yay! :D
Ieshwar
On 03/25/2013 09:50 PM, sacredlove said:
It was definitely something different but beautiful. Your words touched me somewhere deep inside. I was actually able to visualize this whole chapter. I knew from the very beginning what would be the end but still it was a great pleasure reading this. The ending kiss was amazing. Well written story:)
Thanks a lot for these kind words. Glad that the descriptions worked and that I managed to evoke the reactions I wanted. :)
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