Jim and Chad, Part 1 - 6. Chapter 6 - Sunday

Chapter 6 - Sunday

Sunday morning's weather was rainy, chilly, and dreary, but it provided the cloud cover to help me stay asleep longer than usual. I had gotten up at my usual 6 am to take a leak but was still so exhausted that I crawled back into bed and fell back asleep almost immediately. I thought I felt Chad do the same, but I wasn't really sure of anything at that hour.

At about 8:30 am, I finally woke up. Given that I had slept for about ten hours, I thought I'd be well rested and ready for more time with Chad. But I had a headache, my neck and back hurt, and I generally felt like I had been hit by a truck. Then I remembered all of yesterday evening's conversation and realized that I probably had a good reason for hurting so much. This always seemed to happen when I got really stressed out. I thought I had handled the situation pretty well so I shouldn't have been stressed out, but I must have been fooling myself.

As I looked over at Chad sleeping, all I could think of was how nice it would have been to wake up every morning next to this face, this body, this person. Unfortunately, this situation was turning out to be an NTB, an acronym that a group of us in college had coined to mean "not to be." Rather than dwell on it, I got up quietly, put on the sweats, socks and extra shirt I had by the bed (it was cold in the condo now), and left the bedroom so Chad could continue to sleep.

After I did all the same things that I had done early Saturday morning, I got three ibuprofens from the cabinet and a sport drink from the fridge, and took them. I found that I was thirsty and finished the sport drink quickly. After putting the bottle in the recycling bin, I realized I was also hungry, so I ate a banana and a yogurt cup. Finally the medicine began to take effect and I relaxed some.

I opened the curtains for the sliding door and happened to wander over near the spot where Chad and I had talked the night before. I leaned a shoulder against the door jamb on the side and looked out at the Bay, my nose about three inches from the glass in the door. As I looked out at the dark gray clouds and wet ground all around, I thought, 'This is such a fugly day.' Physically I was feeling a little better, but emotionally I still felt like shit, and the clouds and rain over the Bay reinforced the feeling.

My mind wandered through several things, finally stopping at the realization that I had been so busy with work that I hadn't taken a good look out this door since I had moved in almost a year earlier. Details like how the shoreline meandered and the seagulls fought over fish all looked new, and it made me think how much my wife would have enjoyed this view. She had been a water person and being at the ocean was such a pleasure to her. She got such great pleasure sitting out on a deck and just enjoying the breeze in her face and the sound of the waves crashing on the beach. Just watching her enjoy it always brought a great peacefulness to me. I got a lump in my throat and tears formed in my eyes when I realized that I'd probably have to replace this view with some other view in the near future.

I guess I had heard the movement but hadn't paid any attention to it. Next thing I know, a fully-clothed Chad was leaning against the center of the door and looking straight at my eyes. I had to stifle any tears and cover up what I was feeling because I didn't want him to know how much the conversation of last night had affected me. I guess I didn't do too good of a job because he asked, "Is there anything you want to talk about?"

"Not really."

He moved around behind me and started to scratch my back. Soon he began to massage my shoulders, especially the muscles right around the neck. "Must be something big you're not telling me because your muscles are rock hard."

"I didn't sleep well last night," I responded, not taking my eyes off the scenery outside.

After a few seconds Chad stopped massaging my neck and left his warm hands on the back of my neck. "When I have a rough night, something happened during the day, or the evening, that unknowingly upset me or pissed me off."

I didn't respond to his comment.

After waiting a minute or two Chad said, "Okay, since it looks like I'm going to have to drag it out of you, let me start by asking this: What do you think I should do about my ex?"

I leaned my head forward against the glass and chuckled. "You have such a knack for asking difficult questions first thing in the morning, don't you."

Chad chuckled but said nothing.

Soon I got serious and responded, "I'm too close to this situation to make any comments."

"I know you are, but so am I. Besides who else do I talk to this about? I certainly can't talk to any of the other guys at work or on the golf course."

I turned around, made fists with my hands, lightly pounded on Chad's chest. "I can't have this discussion Chad, I just can't. I thought I could control my obsession with you, but I've found that I can't. You're gonna have to figure this one out on your own."

He immediately reached up, grabbed and held my wrists tightly. "But I need to hear what the most important person in my life says I should do. You're always objective and see things more clearly than most people do," as he looked straight into my eyes.

I felt tears form in my eyes at the compliment, but I knew what I had to say even though I knew it would cost me a relationship. "You need to get a good pre-nup and go back to your ex. Being married and having kids is the accepted way of life in this country. Being straight will be so easy for you, especially since everyone really likes being around you. Being gay is a pain that I don't think either of us is prepared to handle." I paused for a moment, "Then we both need to forget that this weekend ever happened."

He paused for a moment as if he were drinking in what he'd heard, but I saw no change in the look of his face. Then he asked a question I never expected to hear. "If I went back to my ex, what would you do?"

All I could think of was that he had asked for it. "I'd have to change jobs and move away from here. There are too many good memories and too many painful memories, and if you go back to your wife, the painful ones would outweigh the good ones."

His eyes started to glisten with tears and he continued to tightly hold my wrists. "Damn it, I knew that's what was happening. At work, you're well known at work for thinking and planning so far ahead of everyone else. I had a feeling that you were doing that here, too."

After a short pause, he continued. "Please, PLEASE, stop planning out our relationship right now. Please let it just flow from moment to moment for a while. Also, please stop making me feel so incredibly guilty for not being able to give you an answer today. I need some more time to think through it all and work out where I'm going. The world is not always as clear to me as it is to you. Although I still love my ex, you made me realize that maybe I am keeping a loyalty to her that isn't deserved. But I need time to find that out. And it's going to take time.

"However, until a final decision is made, I want you to know that you've become an incredibly close friend, someone who I can share my thoughts with, someone who truly supports me, even though it may cost him. And someone that's also good, REALLY good in bed. Other than my wife, I mean ex-wife, I can't think of anyone else I want to share my life with." Then he paused for a moment before saying, "Besides all of that, this is a weekend that I'll never be able to forget."

I was stunned by what he had just said. I also felt guilty for putting so much pressure on him when he didn't have all the info he needed to make a decision. Even I got pissed off when others did that to me.

My attention must have wandered for a moment because Chad shook my wrists and asked, "Did you hear what I said?"

My eyes snapped back to his, and a small smile must have appeared on my face because one appeared on his. Through the tears in my eyes, I responded, "Yes, I heard. And I love you too." At which point we both chuckled some because we both realized what all the words really meant. "But I need you to at least loosen your grip on my wrists. My hands are falling asleep."

"Oh, shit. Sorry, I didn't realize." Then he let go of my wrists altogether.

"No problem. We're both sort of wrapped up in this."

As I rubbed my wrists, he nervously said one last thing. "But I have a temporary restriction."

"What is that?" I asked hesitatingly.

"Uh, mmmm, we can't kiss yet." He looked down at the floor and then back up to me, his eyes showing me that he was sorry that he had to do this.

The disappointment must have registered on my face even though I had tried to keep it from showing. I had to know why he was afraid to do this, so I asked "Why?"

"I'm not sure. I can't seem to put it into words. But why do you need to kiss me?"

All of the sudden, the attention was on me. I had successfully tried to avoid this situation earlier, but he'd finally asked the question. I felt the heat in my face as I blushed. I turned away from his eyes and just sort of stood there embarrassed at the situation.

Chad obviously noticed what was happening because he put a hand on the side of my face and pulled my face back so our eyes met. "I wasn't going to press you for answers earlier, but I have to press you for one now."

It took me a while as my brain stumbled for the correct words to say, but I hesitatingly said, "I need to feel . . . intimate, um, connected . . . with you, because pretty soon that's going to be the only way I can continue to get a hardon. I can't do the uncommitted sex thing with you for too long."

With that statement, Chad dropped his hand from the side of my face, got a big grin on his face, and I could tell that he was trying really hard not to laugh. It only made me further embarrassed that I had said it. When he finally laughed out loud, I felt like shit for trusting him with such a needy-sounding statement.

"Gee thanks for stomping all over my emotions." I turned to walk away, but he reached up with one arm, grabbed me, and wrapped the other arm around me. He then quietly said, "You could have fooled me Friday night."

I paused and then admitted quietly, "Well, THAT was pure lust."

"And yesterday afternoon?"

"Okay, mostly lust."

"And last night?" he asked. When I didn't answer for a while, he finally realized what last night had been all about. "So last night you switched from a guy who'll do anything to stick his dick in a hole and fuck it, to someone who can only be intimate with me?"

After a short pause, I sighed and answered quietly, "Yeah."

Then in a playful voice, Chad said, "Cool. So that means that if we're not intimate for the rest of the weekend, then I can be on top all of the time."

For some reason, the comment instantly pissed me off and I struggled and finally got out of Chad's hug. I turned to him and said loudly, "Fuck you. There's no fucking way you're going to be the only one on top for the rest of the. . . ."

While I was ranting at him, Chad gently cupped my face with his hands and looked straight into my eyes. When I quit ranting, he quietly said, "How do you feel now?"

A two-by-four to the side of my head would have had about the same impact when I realized what he was doing. In his own devious way, Chad had pulled me out of my depressed funk in a matter of minutes. Tears formed in my eyes again, I got a smile on my face, and I finally said, "Thanks, I needed that."

He gave me one of his megawatt grins, nodded his head in a gesture that said "you're welcome", and let go of my face. Then he got a serious look and asked, "Have you had breakfast yet?"

"Yes. Do you want me to get you something?"

"No, not right now. A little later." Then he reached over and grabbed one of my hands. "I'm not the one who's going to be doing all the work."

It took me a few seconds, but I finally got what he meant. Surprisingly my cock started to get hard from the anticipation as we made our way back to the bedroom.

I thought I was fast getting undressed, but Chad was already in the bed with the sheet pulled up over himself when I turned to get into bed. The sheet had settled in around his body and I could see the outline of his hardon under the sheet. I also noticed that his legs were spread, and he had gotten his tube of lube from the nightstand.

As I moved in next to Chad, I couldn't help but grin. "Anticipating something?"

He chuckled and said, "Fuck you."

"Later. It's my turn now," I said as I moved into position between his legs. I slowed the pace a little, and took a good look at the person below me: the good-looking face, the blue eyes and brown hair, the broad shoulders, and the lightly furred chest and stomach. As I got into position, he wrapped his legs around my waist. I felt him reach down and apply lube to his ass and then he wrapped his hand around my cock to lube it. He stroked me slowly and my cock responded by getting harder with each stroke.

Soon he was pulling me closer and guiding my cock to his ass. I pushed forward and easily entered him. As I slid in slowly, he closed his eyes, arched his back and took deep breaths. It had been many hours since I'd been in him last, and I'm sure it was painful as I entered. But he didn't complain. He just took it as my now rock-hard cock slowly slid completely into him.

After about thirty seconds of adjusting to me, he finally relaxed and opened his eyes. There were tears in them, so I asked, "Do I need to pull out?"

He grinned and said, "No. Just thinking about how well you seem to fit inside me."

Tears began to form in my eyes as I said, "I was thinking the same thing about you last night."

We both chuckled. I so wanted to kiss him, but he'd set the rules. Then a thought popped into my mind. "Close your eyes and turn your head," I said. With a quizzical look, Chad did what I had asked. I moved down to the lower part of his neck and began to lightly kiss from there up his neck to behind his ear. When I got to his ear, I nibbled it in several places. He lightly moaned during this and tightened his ass muscle around my cock. I quietly said in his ear, "If I can't kiss you, can I do this to you?"

"Fuck, yeah," was all he said.

Because of the closeness of our bodies, I felt him reach down and start to rub his cock. He had to do it "flat handed" because there were only a couple of inches of space between us. But I had other ideas. I reached down, grabbed his hand, and pulled it back up to the mattress where I pinned it. Then I did the same to his other hand. I pulled back and grinned at him.

"So this is what it feels like to be dominated," he said with a sly grin.

"Not really dominated, just restrained. Domination is way more than this, but I thought you might want to experience it first-hand so you can see if you like it or not."

"From anyone else, I don't think I'd like it, but from you it's kind of exciting," he said quietly.

Chad tightened his ass muscle around me really tightly. I couldn't help but close my eyes, throw back my head, and moan loudly. Finally he let go, and I opened my eyes again. When I looked down, he had this sly look on his face. So looking him in the eye, I started slowly pistoning in and out of his ass. That caused him to close his eyes and moan loudly. Then I stopped. When he opened his eyes, he said huskily, "Okay, okay, you win," to which I chuckled and let go of his hands.

I couldn't believe how much lust had taken over my body. I guess we were now just two guys enjoying each other without any attachments. I had wished for more, and maybe it would still appear, but for now, I could live with the situation, especially since it was my cock in his ass.

I slowly pushed away from him and gave us both some more room. The feeling of his tightness around my cock was exquisite. I started to piston in and out of him at a moderate speed, causing both of us to close our eyes and groan/moan loudly. That he enjoyed me being in him was a turn on that got me harder. My hardness rubbing against his insides caused him to further enjoy me being in him.

I found myself rocketing toward my peak. Chad must have been feeling the same thing because I felt him stroking his hardon faster and faster as I pistoned in and out of his ass faster and faster. Soon I felt that all-too-familiar boiling feeling deep within me, so I moved back and forth, faster and faster, in and out of his ass. I was lost in the feeling and I started to cum. But I clamped down hard with the muscles and held it back for a little longer. Almost immediately I heard Chad moan "Fuck FUCK FUUUUUCCCCKK" as he shot a huge load all over his chest and stomach. That triggered me to let go and I shot huge loads into his ass again and again and again, all while Chad continued to shoot loads all over his stomach.

We recovered slowly. I had my forehead against one of his shoulders while I regained my breath. I noticed he was breathing heavily as well. Then he reached his arms around me and began to scratch my back. When my cock softened and slipped out of his ass, he pulled me up into position with my head next to his, my nose and mouth pointed to his neck. We adjusted arms and moved into the hugging position that we had discovered the night before. Slowly but surely I let my weight settle against him.

Chad stopped scratching my back and began to hug me. "So this is what it feels like."

Because our heads were close together, I nibbled his ear and whispered, "Yeah. So how does it feel to you?"

After a pause, he said, "Good. Really good."

We stayed in that position for a while longer. I knew that I must be getting heavy, so when he tickled me, I said, "Okay, I'll move to the side now."

Chad laughed out loud out my statement and asked, "How did you know?"

I moved to my side next to him, leaned on one elbow and said, "Remember, I've been in your place before. Last night's tickling was to get you to move, but you did something else instead."

He laughed as he remembered. Then he looked at me with one of those penetrating gazes of his. It made me want him so much that it hurt. As I looked away, I said, "If I can't kiss you, you can't look at me that way." When I looked up, he still had the same gaze, but now he had a slight grin with it. I looked at him and said, "Keep it up and you'll pay for it." When he kept the gaze, I reached over with both hands and began to tickle him.

Chad started to respond to my tickling, but he backed down quickly and said, "Sorry, but I've got to go sit."

I watched Chad's every move as he got out of bed and made his way to the bathroom. He was just as good looking in motion as he was sitting or laying down. But I realized that he hadn't had breakfast yet. So I got out of bed, collected his clothes, took them into the bathroom, and dropped them at his feet saying, "Let's get you some breakfast." Then I went back out to the bedroom and got dressed. We finished getting dressed about the same time and headed to the kitchen.

He had a "heavy" light breakfast with two sport drinks, a banana, a cup of yogurt, and some string cheese. I also had some string cheese to partially refill what I had burned doing the things we had just done in bed. As we sat, Chad caught me off-guard when he asked, "If you ever moved away from here, where would you go?"

I looked over at him and gave him my best you-had-to-remind-me-didn't-you look. He ignored the look and continued to look back at me with an I'm-expecting-an-answer look. After a while I mentally gave up, looked down at the table, and said, "Because of my problems with seasonal affective disorder, I'd have to move someplace where it's sunny and open most of the time. I was thinking about some place like Phoenix in the winter and in the mountains near Denver in the summer. I'd rent the Colorado place to skiers in the winter, maybe take a week there myself. In the summer for the Phoenix place, I'd probably just have someone come in once a week to make sure everything was okay. For a job, I'd probably do contract programming so I could work just about anywhere. But I've also thought about giving up coding altogether and go into teaching at some university where maybe I could find someone to spend the rest of my life with." With that last comment, I looked up and gave him the "gotcha" look.

He quickly got what the look meant, then he looked down at the table, grinned really big and chuckled in a way that meant he conceded defeat this round. I hoped his chuckle meant there would be no more conversations for the rest of the day regarding the decision he still had to make.

As Chad finished breakfast, I went back to the bedroom closet and got the blankets, pillows, and towels. I also got a different movie because I didn't want Chad to see the ending of the movie I originally chose. As I walked into the living room, Chad had already put the movie into the player and started it.

"I thought we'd watch something different."

Chad looked over at me and said, "Too late. I've already started your first choice."

When I reached down to stop the movie, Chad caught my hand, pulled it away and held it. "It must be something you don't want me to see, so I want to see it."

"Our previous discussions have changed the situation, so we should probably change the movie."

Chad gave me one of those deep, penetrating gazes and responded quietly, "I still want to see it."

After looking into those eyes, I sighed and gave in. I knew that I wouldn't be able to talk him out of it, so I spread the blankets out and lay down without taking off my clothes. Chad looked at me kind of funny and I said, "The clothes will come off soon enough, so get your good-looking ass down here so I don't have to look at your eyes." He chuckled and lay down in his sweats next to me with me spooning his backside.

In the first sex scene of the movie, Chad sat up and took off his clothes. He snuggled next to me again and began to lightly stroke his cock. Soon I had him shift to his back and I stroked his cock for him. It was a long scene with a long build-up and Chad probably would have shot his wad soon in the scene if I would have let him. But I made him wait and suffer through the actors shooting their wads in that scene.

The second scene was a solo shower scene, and the actor had a really hard cock in that scene. Knowing what I knew about the movie, I brought Chad to the brink a couple of times and then waited until he came down a little. Then I stroked him hard as the actor stroked himself hard. Soon the actor started to cum with several large loads splattering on the shower floor. Chad saw the action, closed his eyes, arched his back and neck and shot a large load onto his chest, followed by a large number of smaller loads all over his stomach. Over a period of another few minutes, he finally came back to reality. Using a nearby towel, I wiped his body so that he could continue to watch the movie without worrying about his cum running on the blanket below him.

In a later scene in the movie, the older guy "entertains" a customer while the younger guy looks on and learns from the experience. The action is pretty hot and I reach down to stroke Chad's cock again. He's entranced by all the different positions he sees the guys in. Toward the end of the scene, the customer cums really hard, shooting many loads all over his chest and stomach. The older guy shoots several large loads on him as well. I felt Chad's cock begin to pulse in my hand as he shot another fairly large load again, not as much as earlier, but a fairly good set of wads on his stomach. As he unloaded, all I could think of was how nice it would be to be young again.

After a few moments of recovering, Chad looked around for the towel, cleaned himself, and then snuggled next to me covering both of us with a blanket.

When we got to the final scene in the movie, Chad finally realized why I had chosen the movie in the first place and why I didn't want to watch it now: the older guy was in love with the younger guy, and the younger guy finally discovers he's in love with the older guy. He watched the first part of the scene unfold, the older guy not really sure that the two of them should fall in love, the younger guy kissing the older guy to let him know he cared.

After a while I felt Chad's eyes on me, so I looked at him, then rolled to my back to avoid them. I was halfway hoping that he'd just watch the movie and jack himself off without involving me. However, Chad had other ideas. He rolled on top of me, pinned my arms to the floor, then positioned his legs so that my legs were spread and pinned as well. Chad waited in this position and allowed me to drink in what I saw: the broad chest and narrow waist, both covered with hair and muscles, a large cock and balls, and that perfect face with penetrating blue eyes. What got me this time was that his eyes also appeared to be a little sad. I think he finally got what I had been hoping for.

Even though I should have been sad, Chad's dominating position over me always had its desired effect. I could never suppress how his body affected me, and this time was no different. My cock got rock hard almost instantly. Because I still had my clothes on, Chad couldn't see any of this, so he let go of one of my arms and felt my crotch with that free hand. He gently massaged me, then moved into a sitting position between my legs and slowly slipped my sweat pants and underwear off my lower body.

From there he pulled me up into a sitting position, put his hands under the bottom edge of my t-shirt, and pulled it off over my head. After pulling my t-shirt off, he cupped my face in his hands and we looked at each other for a while. I so badly wanted to kiss him, but he wouldn't let me. He seemed to sense that or maybe my face showed it, so he did something good for both of us: while sitting there, his legs over mine, he pulled me into our standard hug and we hugged for a couple of minutes. After that he pushed me gently to the floor, moved his legs in between mine and lay on top of me, his face nuzzling and kissing my neck and ear.

I finally relaxed and let the adrenaline take over. I wrapped my arms and legs around Chad's body and felt his cock probe me. He finally found my hole and pushed against it gently and then more firmly. Soon I relaxed and he slipped partway into me; the pain was at the same time both excruciating and intensely enjoyable. He waited while I adjusted, and when he felt me relax, he pushed completely into me.

While leaning on one elbow and nuzzling my neck, he reached down between us and started to stroke my cock with the palm of his hand, his fingers reaching down and stroking my balls at the same time. The combination of his hand on my cock and his hard cock in my ass took my breath away, and I shuddered and instinctively tightened my ass muscle around his cock. The new tightness around his cock made him moan and rub me even faster, which caused me to groan and clamp tighter around his cock. Then Chad started to slowly move his cock in and out of my ass which caused me to want to try to push him out. My body went into overload trying to figure out what to do, push out or get tighter. Soon I started to alternate between both, one second pushing out, the next second tightening around his cock.

The feeling for Chad must have been intense because he moaned loudly and picked up the pace of his fucking and his rubbing on my cock. Both of us were soon moaning and groaning loudly next to each other, and those sounds further reinforced what each of us felt. I don't know when, but I faintly remembered moaning loudly and saying, "Fuck me Chad, fuck me hard." He responded by picking up the speed of both the fucking and rubbing.

Last thing I remembered is opening my eyes, seeing the intense pleasure on Chad's face next to me, and glancing at the TV as I saw the older guy shooting his load all over his chest and stomach while the younger guy fucked him hard. That drove me over the edge and I moaned loudly, arched my back, and started shooting my load all over Chad's hand and my stomach. Chad didn't cum with me that time. He held on for another thirty or so seconds, then he pulled out of my ass and moved his hand from my cock to his cock. His body shook as he frantically stroked himself. Soon he said, "Oh, FUUUUCK," then I felt his cock start shooting load after load after load of hot, thick, ropey cum on my chest, upper abs, and all over my cock.

About fifteen seconds after shooting his load on my stomach, Chad nearly collapsed on top of me. He did it gently, but the full weight of his upper body was on me almost instantly. I initially struggled to breathe and he soon realized what he had done. He pulled up some and we adjusted our arms into our now-standard arrangement so that we could hug while he lay on top of me. The weight of his body on mine squished the cum between us. Although it felt weird at first, after a short time I began to like it. The slickness dried a little and became something like a glue that physically held us together. I'm not sure that he did this on purpose, but the symbolism of our cum mixing and holding us together made me realize that maybe there had been more to this particular encounter than I had thought. But then again, maybe I was just over-reaching for an affection that I might never have.

Rather than get all sappy, I started scratching Chad's back and said, "Let's go take a shower."

He chuckled and quietly said, "Sure, now you say that, just as I get settled in."

I noted the sarcasm in his voice, so I reached down and grabbed his sides with both hands and began to tickle him pretty hard. As usual, he reacted quickly, pinning me to the floor. This time, however, he was laughing and had a sparkle in his eyes. Something had changed. Maybe there was a possibility in our relationship after all. But as soon as I noticed the sparkle, it and the smile that went with it disappeared. He had remembered that he still had a decision to make. I was sad again and hoped that it didn't show.

We got up slowly and collected all the stuff from in front of the TV. Chad carried the clothes back to the bathroom, while I carried the blankets and pillows to the closet and the towels to the bathroom. When I got to the bathroom, Chad had the water already running in the shower and was warming it up for us.

We soaped each other taking our time, roaming our hands over each other's body, all over the chest and stomach, the arms and legs, the back, and intimately around each other's cock, balls and ass. In a surprising move, Chad took my hands, pushed them and me against the chilly tile wall. "Close your eyes and turn your head." I did so and he slowly and deliberately kissed up and down my neck on one side, then kissed under my chin to the other side, where he kissed up and down my neck again.

The effect he wanted is what he got: I got hard again thinking about what he might do to me next in this position. Unfortunately, my ass hurt from what we had done that weekend. With some reluctance I said, "I don't think I can take you inside me again."

Chad continued to kiss my neck and slowly worked his way up to one of my ears. Quietly he said in that ear, "What makes you think you're the one getting fucked?" The implication made me rock hard. He confirmed what I was thinking when he pulled back to look at me, let go of one of my hands, and reached down to stroke me. As he looked at me, he got a look in his eyes that I hadn't seen yet. I didn't know what it was, but I'd find out later for sure.

He had brought some lube into the shower and was soon applying it to my cock and his ass. He turned away and leaned against the handicap bars, exposing his exquisite, hairy ass to me. I moved in behind him and guided my cock to his hole. I slowly pushed against him, his ass muscle resisting at first, but slowly opening until I slid into him easily. As I slid in, he threw his head back and groaned loudly. I slowly pushed all the way in, held that position for a short time, then slowly started to fuck his tight, wet, hot ass.

Like I had before a number of times before, I watched my cock disappear into his ass as I pushed forward and reappear as I pulled back. With each stroke, Chad's moans became more intense. I leaned forward and wrapped both arms around him. One hand stroked his hairy chest and stomach, and the other reached down and stroked his cock. He got hard after a few strokes, his moans became more intense, and his ass muscle tightened around my cock. That caused me to moan more and pick up the pace, both in back and in front.

Soon we were both spiraling upward toward our peaks. I went faster and faster. After another minute or two, I felt that familiar boiling feeling deep inside me. I noticed Chad's breathing had become ragged and uneven. Both of us were there, so I went a little faster, and that tripped both of us. Chad's cock began to pulse and with the intensity of his moans, I'm sure he was unloading another big load. The pulsing of his cock made his ass muscle tighten around me and I shot another big load, spurt after spurt, landing and mixing inside his ass, again and again. We were both lost in the extreme pleasure of the moment, neither of us wanting it to end.

Unfortunately, as with all good things, eventually we both got soft and had to start moving around again. We did our final cleanups and cleanouts similar to what we had given each other the day before. We got out of the shower, dried off and dried our hair, and then gave each other the "lotion-up-the-butt" treatment to try to cool off our overly-sensitive asses. Once done, we washed our hands thoroughly and got dressed in clean underwear, warm sweat pants, and heavy t-shirts.

Before heading back to the kitchen for lunch, I stopped Chad and looked at him. Without saying a word to each other, we fell into one of our desperate hugs, my right arm under his left arm, his right arm under my left arm, each holding on to the other for a long time. I realized much too late that this was probably the last hug that we'd give each other, maybe forever. If I had realized it then, I would have definitely held on for much longer than I did.

Over lunch, I asked Chad what time he wanted to leave. He said that he wanted to leave around 7 or 8 pm. Then he added, "I still want to watch Brokeback Mountain."

When I looked up to try to talk him out of it, I got one of those penetrating gazes that always lets him get what he wanted. I sighed knowing I should try to talk him out of it, but shortly gave up and said, "Sure." After thinking through the timing, I followed up with, "Football's on at one. How about we watch our team play, have dinner around five, and then start the movie around five-thirty?"

With a sly grin, he said, "Sounds like a good plan to me."

I immediately got the reference to the work conversation of earlier, so I glared at him and, with a small grin on my face, said, "Prick."

We both chuckled at the small conversation. After a short time, we cleaned up lunch and moved into the living room to watch the game. As usual, I fell asleep during half-time and woke up about the middle of the fourth quarter. When I woke up, there was a blanket over me, and I noticed Chad was asleep with a blanket as well. Even though we had started to distance ourselves from each other in preparation for him going home that evening, he still showed an incredible sensitivity which I had not seen in most guys. While watching him sleep, all I could hope for was that he'd be happy in whatever relationship he finally chose.

Just after the game finished, I quietly got up, changed the channel to another game to keep the background noise about the same, and walked into the kitchen. Trying not to wake Chad, I got out the food, fired up the oven, and started fixing dinner. About fifteen minutes later, I heard the TV click off and Chad appeared shortly after that. He looked relaxed, but the look I had seen in the shower earlier was there again. It quickly disappeared and he asked if there was anything he needed to do. I replied that there wasn't and that dinner would be ready in about another thirty minutes.

Chad looked at me for about another ten seconds like he was going to say something, then he got that look again on his face. In a flash, I knew the look meant that he had made the decision to go back to his ex-wife. I felt a sadness creep over me, but I also knew it was what he had to do. Although I had looked down at the floor when I realized what the look was, I stood up straight, looked back at him and really tried to show that I knew and accepted what he had to do. I was never sure about my non-verbal communication with Chad, but it seemed to register with him this time. Soon after that, he turned away and returned to the couch to watch some more TV.

Given the distraction of his decision, I almost burned the steaks, but managed to get away with a nice, healthy brown outside. I also made a salad and sweet potatoes to go with the steaks. Eventually, dinner was ready and we sat down to eat.

Conversation at dinner was minimal until I asked, "So, what do you have planned for the week?"

When Chad looked up at me, I grinned hoping he'd catch the implication. He did and grinned back. After a few moments he said, "I have a couple of big meetings tomorrow afternoon to get some new contracts in place. Then the rest of the week is pretty much unplanned." With the last statement, he grinned back at me. After a fairly long pause, he got serious again and said, "But not everything in my work life can be as well-structured as yours is right now. I pretty much have to be able to adapt to anything that comes along each day. Sometimes I wish I could make better plans, but that doesn't appear to be the case right now."

He was right about the chaos at work. Our business was linked to a number of customers who couldn't seem to make up their minds about what they wanted to do or where the money would come from. I happened to be one of the luckier ones that had a fairly consistent customer, even though they could be incredibly bitchy and whiny at times.

Both of us got about halfway through dinner and had to stop. Our stomachs had shrunk through the weekend and we just couldn't hold as much food as usual. So I saved what was left in separate containers and put in the fridge. I fully intended to give Chad his later, but he saw what I was doing and said for me to finish his later. With that one statement, he had confirmed what I suspected earlier: he wouldn't be back, at least not anytime soon.

About five-thirty, we sat down to watch Brokeback Mountain. I cranked up the surround sound on the stereo with the TV to get the full effect of the movie. As usual, I got lost in the lush scenery and the poignant sounds of the guitar in the background music. And, as usual, I got pulled into the story in a way that bound me to the characters, something I always hoped to avoid but never seemed to be able to do with this movie.

The only thing spoken during the movie was after the first time Jack and Ennis "did it." Chad's quiet remark was, "That had to hurt," and I had to laugh. Through most of the rest of the movie neither of us said anything. In the scene toward the end of the movie when Ennis called Jack's wife, I had to lean my head back against the couch and close my eyes. I knew what was coming next. When it happened, I felt Chad jerk slightly on the couch and then clear his throat.

Later when Ennis drove to Jack's parents house, I had to get up and go to the study. From the study, I finished the movie separate from Chad, crying quietly as heard the dialog and music. The situation grew more difficult to handle when I realized some of the parallels between the two movie characters and Chad and me.

Luckily for me, as the movie ended, Chad lowered the volume on the stereo and finally turned off the TV. That gave me enough time to compose myself, wipe my eyes dry, and try to keep from becoming a babbling idiot.

Soon Chad appeared at the door to the study. "I have to go," he said quietly.

Fortifying myself with all the willpower I could, I looked at him without tears and said, "Sure," then walked him to the door. As he put on his coat and picked up his gym bag, I said, "Be careful of the idiot drivers going home." Then after a pause I added, "I'll be here if you need me."

With a sad look on his face, one that caused a lump in my throat, he said, "Thanks." Then he opened the door and headed down the stairs to the condo building's front door. As he got to that door, he paused for a moment, but then pushed it open and walked out without looking back up at me.

I closed my own door and walked toward the kitchen to do some final cleanup. I thought that I should be crying right now, but I wasn't. We'd had a good weekend, one that both of us would remember fondly and probably in awe at what we had done, but one that was now only a memory.

And I was okay with that until I got to the kitchen and saw his black t-shirt sitting on the counter.

As I picked it up, wave after wave of an intense sadness covered me. The line, "I don't know how to quit you," and the images of the two shirts from the movie came back to haunt me. Flashbacks from the weekend also appeared in my mind: the Saturday morning fight, all the sex we had especially the ones where we nuzzled each other's neck, and finally, the looks from Chad that told me that he was going back to his ex-wife. I got lost in tears as I turned with my back to the counter to lean against it. Not really realizing it, I slid down the cabinets to a sitting position on the kitchen floor and began to cry into Chad's t-shirt. Never had the feeling of a great loss hit me so quickly.

I don't know how long I had sat there crying, but I finally realized that I had to get over this, just as I had gotten over the loss of my wife and kids. "Plan B" became my new plan, so I forced myself to get up and move into the study to start looking for a new place to go. As I sat there, I also realized that the computer had become the place where I had written about my past with the people whom I had lived with and met along the way. The computer had become the thing that I had talked to over the past year and a half. Unfortunately, it couldn't be the thing this time. I needed to talk to a human and how I wished that the human would be Chad. I was obsessed with Chad, but I knew I had to let it go. But rather than let it go quickly, I sat back in my chair, clutched the shirt and held it close to my face, and continued to cry for a long time.

A ringing phone interrupted my crying. As it rang, all I could think of was, 'Damn it. Why can't I just be left alone for a while.' But I cleared my eyes and looked at the Caller ID. My heart jumped when I saw Chad's cell phone number. I cleared my throat and answered with a raspy "Hey, what's up?"

With a raspiness in his own voice, Chad said, "I need to come up. I forgot something."

Looking at the t-shirt, I hoped that he wasn't coming to take this away as well. But I had to face the fact that he wasn't going to be in my life anymore. What probably turned out to be a long time for him, I finally answered, "Sure, come on up."

I had to hurry to dry my eyes and blow my nose. I probably took longer than I should have because when I opened the door, Chad was already there with his workout bag waiting to get in. As we moved into the front hallway, Chad closed the door and locked it. He pulled out his cell phone and held it up in front of both of us. "I've always hated cell phones. If you have one, everyone expects you to be available all the time. No one lets you have any privacy, and no one can seem to wait until a couple of days later for you to return a call."

With his voice wavering a little, he continued, "I had seventeen voice mails on my phone from Friday about this time until now. Six of them were from relatives wondering where I was and if I was okay. I called my Mom and let her know everything is okay and to please call the others. She wanted to know more, but I had to put her off for a couple of days."

After that he paused for a long time. It looked like he was having difficulty saying the next statement. Then he said, "And the remaining eleven were from my ex. She even sent me a text message that said 'Should have never left you.'"

Although I wondered why he was telling me all of this, a lump still formed in my throat and my heart wanted my body to reach out, wrap around him, and protect him from the pain. But I couldn't. She was breaking the guy's heart, and I hoped that he'd be okay through it all.

Chad soon continued, "That text message was apparently sent sometime yesterday afternoon. I listened through all eleven messages from start to finish, and ten of them were about how sorry she was for the divorce, and how things were rotten in California, and how she wanted to come back. My heart was breaking because I really wanted to get back with her."

With that statement, I noticed that Chad's eyes were beginning to tear up. That caused mine to do the same. But I couldn't have been prepared for what he said next.

"Then I listened to the eleventh and final message. It was about two hours ago. She apologized for the other messages, and asked me to delete them if I hadn't already heard them." He paused, looked at the cell phone, and then looked up at me with tears in his eyes and said, "She told me that the guy she had been dating finally proposed to her last night, and she had accepted. In her babbling about everything, I finally found out that this guy is the same one that had dumped her just before we met in college. That's when I finally realized that I've been a rebound love of hers for the last seven years. I thought that we were truly in love, but when this guy came back into her life, our life, she fell back in love with him and out of love with me. And now they're going to get married."

I was stunned by what Chad had just said. I had heard him, but none of it really registered. I watched as he turned off the cell phone, flipped it shut, and put it in his pocket. Then he reached up and cupped my face with his hands. He slowly leaned toward me, and when his face was about three inches from mine, he said, "So this is why I called. I had to come back up here because I forgot to do this." He completed the sentence by leaning forward and kissing me tentatively on the lips.

As he pulled back, he said, "I also figured out something else. If you were a female, I'd be asking you to marry me right now. But you're a guy and I didn't know how to deal with that. While listening to all the crap on the phone, I finally figured out that I want to be around you not because you're a guy, but because you really care about me, and not just physically, but also mentally and emotionally. You care for me like no one else ever has." With his eyes almost completely filled with tears and his voice shaking as he spoke, he said, "I figure that a love like this doesn't come along every day, so I should make sure I don't lose it." He paused and finally said, "I couldn't say this to any other guy, but I can to you. I love you."

We fall into one of our desperate hugs, his left arm over my right, my left arm over his right. Instantly I'm crying again and I struggle to clearly say, "I love you, too." We stayed and cried together in that hug for a long time, each getting used to the permanent warmth, comfort, and security the other had to offer. For me, the crying was a release of the tension of the weekend as a new happiness entered my life. For Chad, maybe it was a release of the past so he could move on and into the future.

After we recovered and stopped the crying, Chad slowly pulled back, the side of his face brushing against mine, our beard stubble lightly sand-papering each other's face as he moved back. He stopped when his nose was about an inch away from my nose. I could feel the heat of his face near mine, and our eyes were the only things each other could see. As always, his blue eyes made me weak in the knees.

After a few moments, we both tilted our heads slightly and leaned forward until our lips met. As they touched, I felt a slight electricity pass between us. We kept our mouths closed as we kissed each other tentatively the first few times, but quickly each of us opened our mouths and our tongues began to playfully push each other around. After a while, Chad slowly pulled away from me. I noticed a slight grin on his face and he quietly said, "That was good, really good." I couldn't help but grin back.

Chad got a serious look on his face once again and leaned in to kiss me. This time he kissed me harder. Our mouths opened more, and our tongues pushed harder and quicker against each other. This kiss was much hotter and more intense than I ever expected, and the effect turned on not only my cock but also all the rest of my body. The passion mounted even more when Chad pushed me against the wall as we continued to kiss. Our bodies began to grind into each other. I would have loved to played with that body with both hands, but since we were still in our hugging position only my right hand was free. So I moved it down his back, found the bottom of his t-shirt, moved my hand underneath it, and then let my hand wander up his back, touching and lightly massaging the muscles in his back as we kissed.

We could have continued the kiss for the rest of the night, but I wanted more. I moved my right hand around Chad's body from his back to his front and pushed him away slightly. As he moved back, he continued to stare into my eyes with that deep, penetrating gaze made me want him even more. I stroked his hairy chest and stomach under his t-shirt, then moved my hand down to the waistband of his sweat pants. I pulled the waistband out and slowly pushed my fingers down inside.

I didn't have to push too far down to find the head of Chad's rock-hard cock pointing straight up. I made a V-shape with my first, middle, and ring fingers and slowly pushed them between the underside of his cock and his briefs. After the fingers settled into place against his cock, I moved my hand up and down to let him know what I was doing. Chad closed his eyes and let out a soft moan as I slowly stroked him. With that same hand, I pushed Chad slowly away, turned him, and led him to the bedroom. As we walked to the bedroom, my fingers naturally stroked his cock, and this seemed to turn him on even more because his cock got even longer and harder as we walked.

Once in the bedroom, Chad put both hands on the sides of my face, his thumbs stroking my sideburns and his fingers moving into the hair behind my ears. He leaned forward and kissed me passionately. I reached under his t-shirt with my left hand and rubbed his chest, while continuing to slowly massage his cock with my right hand. Soon he pulled away and removed his t-shirt and the rest of his clothes. I took all my clothes off at the same time. I reached for and opened a tube of lube, squeezed some out and began to lube his cock. The coolness of the lube on his hot cock made him quietly gasp for a few breaths. His breathing quickly returned to normal as I felt the heat of his cock come through the lube to my fingers. While massaging him, I also noticed that his cock was sticking up at a 45 degree angle just like the first time we got together. This was like the first time for him, and it felt the same way to me.

"There's extra lube on the head to make it easier to enter me," I said. Then I wiped my hand on a nearby towel, threw back the sheet and blankets on the bed, crawled on and lay down on my back with my legs spread. Chad slowly crawled onto the bed and over top of me, stopping when his face about three inches directly above my face. The sight of this hairy stud over me made my cock even harder than I expected.

I lifted my legs and soon felt his cockhead at my ass. Ever so slowly Chad pushed into me, watching me as he did. When his cockhead finally entered my ass, I closed my eyes, arched my back because of the initial pain and let out a low moan. The pain subsided quickly and I opened my eyes to meet his. As I grinned to let him know I was okay, he lowered himself and began to kiss me again. As we kissed, he slowly pushed his cock all the way into me, his balls resting gently against my ass cheeks.

The incredible sensation of everything caught me off-guard and I had to break the kiss because I had forgotten to breathe. Apparently he had forgotten to breathe too, so we pulled away slightly from each other and panted for a few moments to catch our breath. Soon Chad started to kiss me again, and we both breathed in and out of our noses. I thought the moment couldn't be any hotter until he started to slowly piston in and out of my ass. His cockhead was huge and it was rubbing against my already-sensitive prostate. As he picked up speed, I moaned into our kiss. He obviously was feeling my tightness around him because he moaned into the kiss as well.

Just when I thought the feeling couldn't get any more intense, Chad did something that I had never thought to do: instead of keeping his legs bent while fucking me, he straightened them. The result was that his lower body pressed heavily against my lower body and trapped my cock between the two of us. The movement of his body as he fucked me, along with the pressure and the hair from his and my lower abs, massaged and tickled my cock. The underside of my cock lined up with the slight depression between the left and right side of his abdominal muscles, so it didn't slip around too much.

The result of all of this was an incredible pleasure: the kissing, his cock in my ass, and my cock trapped between our bodies was far more pleasurable than I ever dreamed. I broke the kiss again, and hoarsely whispered, "Keep doing this." He caught on quickly, pressing and moving his lower abdominal area all over my cock along with gyrating his hips to piston his cock in and out of my ass. The whole situation made my lower body begin to quiver. I closed my eyes and moaned loudly from his efforts.

I couldn't tell you when because I was lost in the sensation of it all, but Chad soon began to kiss me again. His tongue and my tongue battled it out. His tongue fucked my mouth deeply. I pushed back and fucked his mouth with my tongue for a while. Eventually, he pulled away, and I had to open my eyes to see why. He had this sly grin on his face because he knew what he was doing to me. With a passion in my voice that I never knew I had in me, I said to him, "Fuck me, bud, fuck me hard." With that he kissed me again while fucking me faster and faster.

A few minutes later, I began to feel that familiar boiling sensation build in the base of my cock. Chad must have felt something, too, because he stopped kissing me and began to nuzzle my neck, all while moaning loudly from the sensation of my tightness around his cock. After a while, his breathing started to get ragged and I knew it wouldn't be long for either of us.

The intensity of the whole moment spiraled quickly upward, both of us headed for incredible orgasms. Chad soon started pounding my ass deeply, and the pressure and rapid movement of his hairy body on my cock sent me over the edge. I shot load after load after load in the narrow confines between us, my hips pushing forcefully against Chad's body as a reflex from the intense power of the orgasm. At the same time, Chad moaned loudly and I felt his cock spurt deep within me time and time and time again, the hot loads all splashing around inside me, his hips pressing forcefully into me as he came. Wave after wave of intense pleasure covered both of us. We shook and groaned loudly as we came, so not only did we feel each other's orgasm, but we also heard the incredible pleasure each was experiencing.

The high each of us felt slowly diminished. Chad moved his arms into our hugging position and stayed on top of me for a long time while we both recovered. I ran my hand up and down his back, alternately gripping him to try to make him feel closer to me or massaging his back just because I wanted to. Eventually his cock grew soft and slipped out of me. At first I was sad because the sex was over, but then I realized that the good looking, smart, and studly guy on top of me was going to be around for a while. I tried to suppress the emotions, but couldn't do so completely. I got a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. After sniffing a couple of times, Chad pushed up and looked at me.

"Sorry for all the emotions," I said. "This weekend has been roller coaster for me. But I realize that these are happy emotions and I can't seem to control them." I must have gotten this big grin on my face because Chad's face lit up too. "All of this is quite a bit different from the emotion-filled weekend I had about a year and a half ago."

Chad's eyes began to glisten because he understood the reference to "the accident." He said, "I'll never leave you. I promise."

I paused for a few seconds, then said, "I wish I could hold you to that promise, but neither of us can say that because we don't always control what someone else might do to us. However, I will take you for as long as I can have you. Besides, you're still young and one day you may find that cute female who takes you places I can't." I noticed more tears in Chad's eyes so I reached up and began to wipe them away. As I touched the side of his face, the flood gates opened for both of us. We hugged and cried together for a while. We didn't know what the future held for us, but we knew we had each other to depend on while moving through it.

After a while I reached for a towel and began to dry what I could on both of us. It soon became wet with our tears, sweat, and other bodily fluids. As I dried us, I couldn't help but think about how the towel symbolized the mixing of Chad and me. After a few seconds, I also realized how much of an emotional old fart I'd become and how I needed let thoughts like that go. But it was a good thought needless to say.

"Can you spend the night?" Chad's answer was to kiss me firmly indicating that he wouldn't be leaving any time soon. We kissed for a while longer, not as passionately as during sex, but still quite enjoyable.

I knew we were both exhausted from the emotions and physical activities of the weekend, but I didn't realize how much until Chad almost fell asleep while kissing me. We both needed to get to sleep soon. So I slowly pushed him away and said, "Let's get a little more cleaned up before going to sleep." We got up, used the bathroom, put on our underwear and t-shirts and crawled back into bed. I turned on the alarm and noticed that it was about 10 pm.

For some reason, I must have looked at the clock for a long time, because Chad reached over and touched my back. After feeling his touch, I turned off the light and lay down. Without saying a thing, Chad snuggled next to me, putting a leg over one of my legs, an arm over my body, and his head to the side of my head. He was soon asleep and the rhythm of his breathing helped me settle into a deeply relaxed sleep.

I didn't sleep completely through the night, but I slept well. Every time I woke up, Chad and I were still touching somewhere. Once he was spooning me, his arm around my body. Once I was spooning him, my arm around his body. Once he had his head on my chest. Once I found us holding hands: Chad had obviously made sure that our fingers were intertwined while I had slept. The gesture made me cry quietly for his sensitivity.

I also quietly thanked my wife for sending someone like Chad my way. I had made sure she was always satisfied and happy with me, but she also knew I was a little different than other guys. Although we had been perfect for each other at the time, she had found the perfect partner for me at this stage in my life. As I fell back asleep again, I felt truly happy and thankful.