Peace In An Unlikely Place - 2. Chapter 2 Night Owl

I sat on a stool in the garage watching as Jo tinkered under the hood of my car. I had to admit that event for grease monkey he was extremely handsome and the way his muscles flexed as he was cranking the wrench made it all too much to stare at him. He looked back at me and I looked away embarrassingly, I didn't want him to know I was staring.

"What?" He asked not taking his hand off the wrench. I just shook my head.

"Nothing." I replied shortly. I looked back up at him and he was looking at me, a little glint in his eye.

"What?" I asked a hint of amusement in my voice.

"Nothin." He replied grinning and going back to his work.

I couldn't help but have a shit eating grin on my face. I mean how often do you run into a hot mechanic in the middle of nowhere? I wanted to start a conversation with him but didn't know where to start. I decided to take his work for a subject.

"So... how long have you been an mechanic?" I asked. He didn't look at me, he was to into his work.

"I've been doing this since I was 12, my daddy he was kind of grease monkey himself. He taught me everything I know." Jo explained looking at me.

"So is this you're dads shop then?" I asked looking around. I didn't mean to pry but I had to know more about him.

"You sure ask a lot of questions don't you?" Jo asked but I knew he was joking as a grin crossed his face. "It used to be. My parents died a couple years back, my dad always like the idea of me being in the shop so he left it for me." He added. I looked down at the concrete floor of the shop and shook my head. I felt bad for prying.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-" Jo cut me off with a wave of his hand.

"It's ok, I'm over it." He grinned at me. God that smile could take my breath away.

"What about you? What brings you all the way out here to our little slice of heaven?" Jo's tone sounded sarcastic, it made me chuckle a little.

"I'm heading to Dallas." I was hoping he would just take that as answer and not ask my why. But like always things didn't always go into my favor.

"Why are you headed to Dallas?" Jo asked cocking his head a hint of curiosity in his voice.

I didn't want to tell him about my relationship woes. Hell this guy for all I knew could be gay basher I didn't really feel like getting my ass whooped, as I knew he could take me.

"Things weren't working out for me back home. So my friend offered for me to come stay with them down in Dallas, kind of a fresh start sort of thing." I explained trying to cut out the main reason for my unexpected relocation. He eyed me inquisitively and his eyes glanced over my shiner on my eye.

"I suppose that has something to do with it?" He pointed to my eye.

"Something like that." I replied flatly.

"Just as I figured." Jo said throwing the wrench down in his tool box. I was taken aback by what he said and figured I had to cover my tracks quickly.

"Ok well maybe that's the whole reason I left.." Jo stared at me with a confused look as I rambled on.

"What are you talking about?" He asked impatiently putting his hands on his hip.

"What, me? Nothing, what were you talking about?" I laughed nervously my voice changing pitch a little. He cocked an eyebrow at me before continuing.

"You're car blew a gasket. I can fix it but it's not gonna be extremely cheap." He kept his hands on his hips as he talked.

'Great, what am I going to do now.' I looked at Jo who seemed to be putting pieces together in his head. 'What is he thinking about?'

------ Jo's Point of View ------

I could tell Jeremy was in a great deal of thought. I felt bad for the guy, hundreds of miles from home hundreds of miles from his destination.

'Offer him a place to stay. What are you kidding me? That's a horrible idea, I couldn't have him around my place. It would be too great of distraction.' Great I'm arguing with myself. 'On the other hand though it could give me a chance to get to know him better.'

"Is there a hotel or something in town?" Jeremy asked jerking me out of my mental war.

"Uh no, there isn't." I watched Jeremy's face fall. "I have a guest house above my barn... It's not the greatest but if you need a place to stay you could stay there." I suggested a hint of shyness in my voice. 'Smooth Jo.' I thought to myself. Jeremy's face lit up a bit and his face blushed.

"That would be great." He responded not looking me in the eye. He was too damn cute, I wanted to know this man more. I shook my head and cleared my throat. Pushing the thoughts out of my head.

"Well c'mon then. I'll be waiting out front for you and we'll go out to my place." I said flatly as I walked out of the garage and went to my truck.

'What the hell are you thinking Jo? This is a bad idea.' I thought to myself. 'What are you going fag on me son?' I heard my mom's voice ring out in my head.

I put my face in my hands as my body started to clench up. I looked at my jockey box and reached out for the handle. I quickly pulled my hand away thinking. 'You don't need to do this Jo. You're better than this.' I encouraged myself. 'You're such a disappointment Jo. What kind of man has feelings for another man. To me it sounds like you're turning gay on me and you're father.' I heard my moms voice shrill out again. Even though my mom had never said anything like that to me her voice of disappointment made it seem all to real.

I felt like I was going to vomit as I reached for the razor blade in my jockey box and lifted my shirt up. I made a single cut on my side and I gasped as I felt the pain radiate to my abdomen.

The thoughts stopped and I relaxed as my stomach felt better again. I dropped my shirt just as the truck door opened. In a panic I threw the razor blade out my window and looked as Jeremy hopped in the truck staring at me quizzically.

"You ok?" He asked.

"Yeah, fine." I said shortly. Jeremy cocked his head back furrowing his brows as I started to drive off.

----- Jeremy's Point of View -----

I don't know what happened. One minute Jo was offering me a place to stay and when I walked out to his truck and hopped in he became reclusive and almost snapped at me. I decided to shrug it off and think of it as nothing, but maybe it was something more.

We arrived at his home a few minutes later. I looked over at Jo's house and was shocked to see how beautiful it was. It looked like a classic farm house, two story with a little red barn that set off in the corner of the property. There were flowers sitting next to the front steps, it definitely had a mothers touch.

Jo got of the truck and I followed behind him retrieving my bags out of the bed. Jo led the way down a rock path towards the barn. The gravel crunching below our feet till we reached the steps and began climbing up them to the white door at the top of the landing. He opened the door and let me step in before him.

He flicked the light on to reveal a standard room with a four poster bed and a dresser sitting off to side of it. There was a set of French doors that opened up to a balcony that overlooked the rest of the farm. The sun was beginning to set off towards the west and I set my bags on the bed. Jo stood in the corner of the room near the door with his hands in his coverall pockets looking at me waiting for any hint of approval.

"It's nice." I said turning to face him.

"Thanks, me and my dad spent almost 6 months building it. My mom decorated the interior though." Jo explained not moving from his spot.

"Thanks for giving me a place to stay. It's really nice of you." I said trying to choose my words carefully. I didn't want him to become reclusive again. I liked talking to him.

A grin split his face. "No problem." He replied.

As we were looking at each other from across the room I noticed a bit of blood staining his shirt. It looked fresh.

"You're bleeding I pointed out." Taking a few steps towards him. HIs eyes widened in horror as he stared down at the blood.

"Oh it's nothing." He said shortly trying to hide it from my view. What was he trying to hide?

"No, it doesn't look like nothing, here sit on the bed lemme take a look." I said gesturing towards the bed.

He looked like he was about to argue with me, but I think he heard the serious tone to my voice and reluctantly sat on the bed. I knelt in front of him and went to lift his shirt. He grabbed my hand stopping me, his touch was warm and yet again sent a shiver up my arm. I looked up at his face and noticed he had a hint of fear there.

"Trust me I'm a CNA." I said chuckling.

"What is that supposed to be some northwestern humor?" He asked still not letting go of my hand, he had a death grip on it. Why is he so scared?

"No, now will you let my hand go. You could need stitches." I said. I felt his hand relax and slowly he let it go. I pulled his shirt up and looked at the cut on his side.

Blood was still coming out of it, he definitely needed stitches. I looked at his face and he was looking away his eyes closed. He looked in pain.

"Are you feeling ok?" I asked a hint of concern in my voice. He didn't look at me but nodded instead. "Well you're gonna need stitches, but fortunately for you I used to work in the ER and I've seen doctors do this a thousand times." I added standing up.

"There's a sewing kit in that bottom drawer over there." Jo said pointing at the bottom drawer of the dresser. I walked over and opened it retrieving the sewing kit and coming back over to Jo whose eyes were still closed.

"You're gonna have to lose the shirt tough guy." I said smirking. He looked reluctant but he took his shirt off as told and tossed it on the floor.

His body was even better without the shirt on. He had a smooth tanned chest and as I looked lower towards his stomach I saw a happy trail sneaking it's way below his pant line. I shook the thoughts aside, concentrating on the cut instead.

"Just relax, it's gonna hurt since I don't have any pain killers." I said shortly.

"Just do it." Jo said still keeping his eyes tightly shut.

I grabbed the skin around the cut and Jo shuddered. His breathing became light but he coughed it away and looked down at me. Behind his eyes I could see pain and sorrow. It was all so surreal but I shook it off and concentrated on my work.

"So how did you know I was from the northwest?" I asked trying to strike up conversation.

"Well for one you don't have an accent so I know you're not from the south and the Idaho license plate was a dead giveaway." He started to relax. I think the conversation was taking his mind off of whatever it was that was bothering him.

---- Jo's Point of View ----

I was trying not to concentrate on the fact that I had my shirt off in front of this handsome man while he was touching my side. Given it wasn't anything sexual it was purely just medical. I couldn't help the feeling I got from his warm touch, it sent shivers up my spine. It felt good but I didn't want it too.

I clenched my fist as he started the first stitch. I think he noticed because he pulled away and look at my face.

"You swear you're not gonna punch me right?" He asked. I chuckled before responding.

"No, you're fine." I caught his gaze and we stared at each other for a second. Jeremy cleared his throat and continued his stitching.

"You're not gonna ask how it happened?" I asked him with a shocked expression. I was sure he would have asked.

"It's not my business to ask questions like that Jo." He looked stern and concentrated. "I would however like to know why?" He added as he worked on the second stitch.

"It's complicated." I said not wanting to discuss it with him. How could I explain why I cut without explaining everything else that went with it. It was too complicated.

"Everything in this world is complicated." Jeremy said tying off the second stitch.

"How did you get the black eye?" I turned the tables on him.

I felt a sharp pain as he stuck the needle thru my cut rather hard for my liking.

"Hey! Aren't you medical workers supposed to be nice and caring?" I asked chuckling.

"Not if our patients are stubborn." Jeremy added grinning.

I liked talking to Jeremy, in so many ways I saw similarities between the two of us. I couldn't help but thinking that black eye had a twisted history behind it.

---- Jeremy's Point of View ----

I finished up the stitches on Jo's side and he stood up, looking grateful.

"Handy work, I would call you doc but that would be inaccurate wouldn't it?" Jo grinned.

"Yeah, it would be." I laughed. We stood there for a few moments staring into each others eyes. Jo grabbed his shirt and pointed towards the door.

"I'll be at the house if you need anything." He said nervousness flooding his voice. He walked out the door and closed it behind him. I sat back on the bed lost in my own thoughts.

'What was he hiding? How come everytime we get close to each other he pulls away?' All these thoughts pouring into my head made me stressed.

As daylight faded and it became dark I looked at the clock on my phone and saw the time was 12:02. I could never sleep at night for some reason. Just like my dad I was a bit of a night owl. I kept thinking over what I was thinking earlier and that just made me more stressed.

I dug thru my bag and pulled out my iPod shoving the earbuds in my ears and turning it to The Hives. I began shaking my head back and forth and got up and started jumping around and dancing. I knew that I must have looked funny but it helped get rid of my stress. Nothing cared as I let "Try it Again" flood thru my brain. As I turned towards the door I almost had a heart attack as I saw Jo standing there carrying a blanket and an extra pillow. His shoulders were shaking with laughter as I clutched my chest and pulled my earbuds out.

"Jesus Jo!" I exclaimed recapturing my breathing. "You almost gave me a heart attack." I added as I threw my iPod on the bed and looked at him curiously holding the blanket and pillow.

"Nice dance moves." He was still chuckling. God that laugh was intoxicating I thought to myself as I smiled back at him.

"Go screw yourself." I said jokingly and Jo just grinned stepping forward.

"The guest house always got a little cold at night so I figured you could use this." He said tossing the blanket on the bed. The fact that he was concerned over whether I was cold or not was sweet to say the least but made me put some pieces together on why he really cut.

"What's the pillow for?" I asked taking it from him.

"I don't know, just in case you need another pillow I guess." He rubbed the back of his neck and stared blushing at the floorboards. I had to admit it was pretty cute.

"You don't sleep?" I asked.

"Insomnia.. You?" He had a inquisitive look on his face.

"Night owl." I said shortly. Jo nodded and looked at my bags.

"Do you need help un packing?" He asked.

"No I can manage." I responded looking at the wood floor. I wiggled my toes as I felt the grain below my feet.

Jo walked over to the balcony and lit a cigarette leaning over the railing. I joined him and he held out the pack at me as I gladly accepted one and lit it. I felt the smoke go down in my lungs and exhaled as it drifted off into the moonlit night.

"It was self inflicted." Jo said not looking at me but instead looking out in the darkness. I looked over at him puzzled but I knew what he was talking about.

"Yeah, I know." I said shortly taking a drag of my cigarette and flicking the ashes over the railing.

"Why'd you ask then?" He asked. I looked up at him. His eyes were glossy and I knew that there was some sort of pain behind them, pain in his heart.

"Because I wanted you to tell me for yourself." I responded flatly. He nodded his head and looked down at the ground, kicking his boot against the railing.

"I know we just met and all, but there's something about you." He responded a confused look in his eye.

"What do you mean Jo?" I was kind of taken aback. Most people don't talk to me, and it was kind of interesting how he was opening up to me like this. Given we just met 8 hours ago.

"I don't know." He shook his head. "After you fixed me up I just felt like I could trust you." He gestured at the stitches I placed and took a drag of his cigarette before placing his eyes on me. I grinned a little and exhaled smoke.

"Like the mouse who pulled the splinter out of the lions paw, and then afterwards they became best friends?" I said jokingly.

"Yeah like that... Smart ass." He said kicking the back of my knee which made my knee give way a little. He placed a hand on my back and looked at me apologetically. "Sorry I didn't mean to kick that hard."

"It's ok. No harm, no foul, no bruise." I chuckled. Jo just smiled back at me before taking another drag of his cigarette and flicking it over the railing.

I knew I shouldn't have told him, but since he confided in me about his I figured I could tell him about my bruise on my eye.

----- Jo's Point of View -----

I knew it was weird but I felt oddly comfortable around Jeremy. I hadn't been this comfortable around anybody since my dad. My dad knew that I was gay and he took the secret with him to the grave. Right after I decided I was gonna tell my mom was when they got in the car accident that took their lives. I always wondered what my would've said. She probably would've kicked me out of the house, she thought gay people were a blight on our society and should be chemically castrated. But I figured if I told her I was gay then maybe it would change her point of views. But after they died I sort of became reclusive and hid it from everyone because my dad was the only person I could ever trust.

"This bruise isn't an accident by the way." Jeremy told me knocking me out of my thoughts. I looked at him and grinned.

I knew the bruise wasn't an accident, what'd he think me for, a fool? I pondered all the reasons what could have 'caused it but decided to throw some humor out there.

"No shit Sherlock, it looks like it hurts like a bitch." I said. Jeremy just chuckled and looked away shaking his head. I loved his smile, it would brighten up even the nights sky if it were possible.

"Actually no it doesn't, I'm a tough boy." He smirked. I couldn't help but smile at his little smirk.

"So what really happened?" I asked, hoping he would spill. I watched as his face fell.

"My ex is what happened." He said shortly looking away and down at his shoes. There's no way a girl could've done that to him, unless it was a frying pan.

"A girl did this to you?" I replied laughing a bit.

"No a man actually." He had a straight look on his face which made me stop laughing.

"You're gay?" I said a little shocked, but there was a leap in my chest that felt like there was a party going on making my heart skip a beat. "I mean, you just don't look like most gay guys to me." I added. He looked a little taken aback by what I said.

"You know many gay guys?" He asked with a hint of acid in his voice.

"No I just meant.." I stopped myself before I could dig any deeper of hole. "I'm sorry." I added.

"It's ok. You're not very smooth I can tell." He grinned slapping me on the arm.

"You found me out." I laughed, after I realized we were getting off topic I decided to steer things back towards or original conversation.

"So what really did happen then?" I asked. Jeremy had a troubled look in his eye as he spoke.

"My ex was a Nurse at the hospital I worked at. We were dating for about four months before he snapped at me for putting onions in his spaghetti and broke one of my ribs against the kitchen counter. Six months after that he broke my nose because he thought I was cheating on him. And this one." He pointed at the black eye that shined remarkably in the moonlight before continuing. "Happened just last night when I threatened to leave him because I was sick of him beating me." Jeremy finished.

He looked as if though he was about to cry. He gripped the railing of the balcony and squeezed, his arms flexing. The veins on his arms looked like they were about burst. His eyes were squeezed shut. I felt so bad for him that without even thinking I grabbed his arm and pulled him into a hug. He tried resisting me, pushing his hands against my chest.

"No, no." He said fighting back tears. But I just tightened my grip on him even more.

"Just let it out, Jeremy. Just let it out." I said rubbing his back. He finally stopped resisting and his shoulders started to shake as he let out soft sobs.

We stayed like for about five minutes until I snapped back into my usual reclusive self and pulled away taking a few steps back.

"What's the matter?" He asked looking confused, wiping tears out of his eyes with his shirt.

"Nothing. I just.. I just gotta go." I said walking thru the room and out the door. I left Jeremy standing on the balcony with a look of confusion and what the hell on his face.

I ran to the house and threw the back door open walking into the kitchen. I paced back and forth for a moment before I kicked the kitchen cabinet sending my foot thru it. I backed away and slid down the wall pulling my knees up to my face and began crying.

'What the hell is wrong with me!' I thought to myself. 'I can't be like this, I can't be gay!' I rocked back and forth trying to soothe myself before I heard a familiar voice in my head, a voice full of love and wisdom.

'You can't change who you are bud, embrace it. I will always love you and you will always be my son. Remember that.' It was the first thing my dad told me after I told him I was gay. I looked back on that moment and it made me smile. I wiped the tears from my face and remained on the kitchen floor for what seemed like hours but was actually on minutes.

I looked up at the wall near the doorway to the dining room and saw the family portrait of me and my parents and it made me feel a bravery that I couldn't put my finger on.

'If I were my dad, I wouldn't be sitting here crying and wooing in my own self pity. I would face my fears head on and take down anybody who got in my way.'

The thought opened my eyes a little and I suddenly had an epiphany. What if I'm not scared of being gay, but I'm instead scared of getting too close. I always had issues with my emotions, I couldn't handle them all at once I had to deal with them what at time. I mean if I'm gay its not like anyone is going to hate me, hell my family is dead and I don't really have any friends. Other than the customers that come to me with their car troubles.

I instantly felt bad with how I left things with Jeremy and I decided to make things right. I walked out the kitchen door closing it shut behind me and made my way towards the guest house.