Peace In An Unlikely Place - 3. Chapter 3 Long Kept Issues

I remained on the deck for a little while longer, still shocked at what just happened. One minute Jo was comforting me and then the next he became all stiff and reclusive again and stormed out of the guest house.

I glanced at the bed looking at my bags. My iPod was still setting next to my bags and that's when I decided I was going to get out of here, go back town and catch the next bus to Dallas. Screw my car I could always come back for it later. I just didn't want to stay here anymore.

I walked over to the bed shoving my iPod in pocket and grabbing my bags in each hand.

I walked out the door and clambered rather loudly down the stairs. It was pitch black now but the moonlight helped me as I dodged landscaping and bushes making my way towards the road. I hadn't made it ten feet from the stairs when I heard a familiar voice behind me.

"Where are you going?" Jo asked jogging to catch up with me.

"I'm going to town and I'm catching the next bus to Dallas." I said still walking towards the road.

"You can't be serious, Hayward is like ten miles from here." Jo tried convincing me but I wouldn't hear it.

"I've walked further before." I challenged. I felt his warm hand grab my arm and spin me around.

"Look please don't leave." He said a hint sadness in his voice.

I dropped my bags and removed his hand from my arm.

"What is you're problem? First you're this nice guy that actually seems like you want to get to know me and then all of a sudden you flip and become this reclusive person and leave me hanging." I said putting my hands on my hips.

He looked down so I couldn't see his face and began kicking the ground lightly with his feet. Whatever was bugging him must be serious.

I reached out and with my index finger I brought his chin up so I could see his face. Tears were welling up in his eyes. I instantly felt bad.

'God you're such a jackass Jeremy.' I thought to myself.

I grabbed his arm and went to pull him into a hug but he put a hand to my chest, shaking his head as he turned his back to me and doubled over. It almost looked like he was in pain.

"I'm sorry Jo, I didn't mean-" But he cut me off as he spoke.

"No it's not what you said, It's me." He said turning back to face me wiping the tears away with the back of his hand.

"I have issues with emotions. Sometimes I can't handle them and when I get overwhelmed the only thing I know to do is cut. It's easier to deal with the physical stuff." He added.

I nodded my head as I finally understood why he was the way that he was. In more ways than one we were similar.

"If I stay, then you promise to tell me everything? No bullshit?" I questioned raising an eyebrow. Jo just nodded his head and I took that as an agreement. I picked up my bags and he took one from my hand and started walking towards the guest house.

I stared at his butt as I walked up the stairs behind him and silently laughed to myself at the thoughts I was thinking. I shook them away and continued walking up the stairs. 'This isn't a time for thinking about his ass Jeremy.' I thought to myself.

I walked thru the door to the guest house and put my bag down on the floor next to the bed where Jo had put mine. I sat on the bed criss cross as Jo took a seat across from me in a white armchair. He set his feet on the foot rest and got comfortable.

----- Jo's Point of View -----

Was I really about to spill my guts out to this man? This man who looked so confident and refined in his own skin? He stared at me empathetically from across the room. I didn't even know where to start.

"I don't even know where start." I confessed looking into his eyes.

"Just start from the beginning." He suggested not breaking my gaze.

I took a few deep breaths before I spoke.

"Well I guess it all started after my parents died. My dad knew I was gay and I had planned on telling my mom at some point. She was an old fashioned southern kind of woman. She believed gay people were a blight on our society and thought they should be chemically castrated. I figured that maybe if she found out her little boy was gay, then maybe it would change her opinions." Jeremy's eyes softened, I couldn't help but think he had a similar situation.

"I'm sorry." He said shortly. I could tell in his eyes that he meant what he said, which made it easier for me to speak.

"After the car accident that killed them, I sort of became reclusive and didn't talk much. I don't have any family left and I don't really have any friends so It made the adjustment easier. But when you came into my shop yesterday..." I noticed Jeremy's eyes brighten as I mentioned our first meeting. "Things changed for me. I don't want to be this reclusive man anymore, that can't deal with his emotions and hates the world." I finished.

I saw Jeremy swallow past a lump in his throat.

"Wow." His voice cracked. "I've never realized I had that effect on you. Why though?" He asked still keeping my gaze.

"Beats the hell out of me." I chuckled. "But it scares the shit outta me." I added going straight faced again.

Jeremy swallowed hard again before he spoke.

"My mom is the same way. She didn't take my coming out of the closet good at all. She hardly even speaks to me, I have to ask my dad how she's doing because she won't talk to me." Jeremy explained looking down at his lap.

I couldn't help but feel this story had more bad too it as he continued to talk.

"My brother was an auto mechanic too." He beamed at me.

"I can't help but notice the 'was' in that sentence." I admitted looking concerned.

Jeremy's face fell as he got up from the bed and crossed over to the window looking out at the darkness.

"About a year ago my brother, James, was working on a car in his shop. He was always in that damn shop, nothing was important to him than his work." Jeremy smiled at the memory and then continued.

"One day he asked for my help with this '67 Mustang he was trying to fix up for the upcoming car show that weekend. I didn't know much about cars besides what little he taught me. But I agreed to help." Jeremy paused as tears came to his eyes.

I got up and crossed the room to him putting a hand on his shoulder. He didn't look at me but continued to look out the window trying to remain his composure.

"What happened Jeremy?" I asked, even though I knew where he was going with the memory.

"He asked me to jack up the car while he got under her to take a look at her engine. I placed the jack stands exactly where I was supposed to. But one of them gave way.." He shuddered and inhaled deeply controlling his breathing.

I tightened my grip on his shoulder, he placed his hand on top of mine.

"It's not you're fault Jeremy." I told him as he turned to face me.

"How is not my fault? I killed my brother Jo." He said through light sobs.

"It was an accident Jeremy, you can't blame yourself for something that you didn't do." I explained pulling him into a hug.

"Yeah... Well I blame myself... Every, single, day." He said wrapping his arms around me, resting his head on my shoulder. I could feel tears dropping on my shoulder.

'How can I make him feel better over something he thought he 'caused. But more importantly how could I make him accept something that happened in the past.' I thought to myself.

I rubbed his back softly. Feeling the tight definitions below my fingertips. I lowed my face to his neck and took in his smell for a bit. He smelled good, I could stay like this forever.

---- Jeremy's Point of View ----

I let tears flow as Jo hugged me tight. I had finally let out a years worth of tears over my brother's death. I hoped he wouldn't pull away like before. His embrace made me feel warm, secure and safe.

He pulled away for a split second and I immediately thought he was going to become reclusive again, but instead the unexpected happened. He put a hand on my neck and stroked my cheek with his thumb. The next thing I knew he was pressing his warm lips to mine.

I felt like a billion fireworks just exploded in my chest as we held our kiss for what seemed like forever. His lips parted as I rubbed my tongue along his and he reciprocated. It was the single most best kiss I had ever had.

He pulled away looking ashamed. 'Not again.' I thought to myself.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that." He said pressing his fingers to his lips, as if he could still feel my lips pressed there.

"No it's ok. Do you see me complaining?" I asked a slight grin crossing my face. He blushed beat read and rubbed the back of his neck as he chuckled a bit. He was too cute.

"Really?" He asked, he seemed so nervous. It reminded me of a little kid who tells their parents they have a crush on another kid at school, it was extremely cute.

---- Jo's Point of View ----

'Wow.' I thought to myself as I realized how explosive that kiss was. I realized I was blushing hardcore as I stared up at Jeremy who was grinning at me, which only made it worse.

"I think I may lay down for a bit." Jeremy said, he did look kind of sleepy or maybe that was all the tears.

"Ok well I'll leave you then." I said walking towards the door. I felt Jeremy's soft hand grip mine. I looked up at him and he was shaking his head.

"Will you just stay and talk to me?" He asked looking hopeful.

I pondered it for a moment, looking into his eyes as he spoke. I decided it couldn't hurt and nodded my head.

Jeremy pulled his shirt off and climbed into the bed pulling the covers over him. I grabbed the white arm chair and pulled it next to the bed so it was facing Jeremy. I sat down and grinned at him as he stifled a yawn and grinned back.

We sat there and talked for what seemed like hours. We talked about everything from our childhood to our careers and where were raised. He was a little shocked as I told him I was actually from Kentucky.

"You're from Kentucky?" He asked looking surprised.

"Yeah that's why I only have a slight accent." I explained laughing. "Where in Idaho are you from?" I asked him curious to know more.

"I'm from Nampa, It's this city just west of Boise." He explained noticing the confused look on my face.

"I've never been up there before. I've been to Wyoming but that's about it." I stated.

"You're not missing much. Where I lived there's lots of trees but if you go outside the city limits it's pretty flat and barren." Jeremy explained smirking.

After about an hour or so Jeremy began falling asleep. I decided I would stick around till he was asleep and once I sure he was I snuck over to the door and flicked the light off. I sat back in the arm chair and reclined my feet on the bed pulling the spare blanket over me.

It was remarkable how I just met this man yesterday and in that time I had opened up to him and actually kissed him. I grinned at the thought of the kiss. His lips were so soft and warm and when I made contact with them it sent shivers up and down my spine. Which I could only guess to be a good thing. My gaze went over Jeremy who was sound asleep. He looked so peaceful as he laid there dreaming whatever it was he was dreaming.

After a few moments I started to drift off just as the sun began to rise of the horizon. I couldn't help but feeling hopeful over Jeremy being here. It was the first time I was able to get close to anyone since my dad.