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    Graeme
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

The Price of Friendship - 15. Chapter 15

“This is wonderful, Mrs. Wakeland!”

Mum laughed. “You don’t have to exaggerate, Drew. It’s only chicken schnitzel and roast vegetables. And, please, call me Jessica.”

“Even so, it’s absolutely delicious. Can I stay for dinner more often?” He gave Mum one of his angelic looks, which seemed to fool her completely.

“Of course, dear.” She glanced at my dad. “Though between you and Brandon, we might need a larger pantry.”

Though it was unstated, I took that dinner to be a partial apology from Mum to Drew and me. She hadn’t said a lot, but I had gotten the impression that the PFLAG meeting she’d attended on the Tuesday with Drew’s mum had been very productive. There weren’t any obvious changes, but there was a subtle, welcome difference in her attitude.

We were finishing up with dessert – home made chocolate mousse, which Drew and I devoured and then went back for seconds – when Drew cleared his throat. “Mr. and Mrs. Wakeland...”

“Ian and Jessica, please, Drew,” Mum said, smiling sweetly.

“Umm, Jessica, I was wondering.... That is, I had an idea that I wanted to run past you.” Drew paused, clearly nervous.

“Is this about Saturday night?” Mum seemed mildly amused.

“Ah...yes. You see, since Rick will be at my place after my footy game, it doesn’t make sense for him to come back here before the party, so Dad’s offered to take both of us, and then pick us up afterwards.”

Mum nodded. “That makes sense. Ian and I don’t have a problem with that.”

“Ah, but the party will be going a little late, and we wouldn’t want to disturb you, so I spoke to my parents and got their approval. I was wondering if...” Drew’s voice trailed off.

“If Rick could sleep over at your place?” Mum finished. She smiled. “Rachel mentioned your idea to me earlier today and I’ve already discussed it with Ian. Of course he can.”

My blood ran cold. A sleepover with Drew? I’m not ready for that.

Then, sanity prevailed and I remembered the rules in Drew’s house. Drew and I wouldn’t be allowed to sleep in the same bed, and I was sure he wouldn’t try to break that rule, since he had been in trouble previously. At least, I was moderately sure.

“Thanks, Mrs. Wakeland!” Drew turned and grinned at me. “This is going to be one of the best weekends ever!”

I smiled. There wasn’t much else I could do, since Drew had managed to organise it without warning me. I suspected it was supposed to be a pleasant surprise, and it would have been cruel of me to turn it down. That didn’t mean that I wasn’t going to be nervous on Saturday night after the party.

* * *

“How do I look?” Drew asked as he rotated on the spot.

I grinned. “It may not be standard Star Trek wear, but it looks pretty good to me.”

Drew’s mum had done a great job of preparing the tops. Not only had she sewn on the Star Trek logos, but she had also removed the collars and replaced them with a black band to make the shirts closer to what was worn in the show.

Once we were home from Drew’s football match, and after he had showered and changed, Mrs. Canter had buttonholed us for a last minute fitting before we got ready for the party.

I was anxious about what was going to happen with the sleepover that would follow. The saving grace came later when I learnt I would be sleeping on an air bed in Will’s room, not Drew’s, and I overheard Drew’s dad being very blunt about what was acceptable behaviour. Any future sleepovers were dependent on our being seen to be responsible, and Drew’s dad emphasised that he didn’t mean safe sex. I was keeping my fingers crossed that Drew wouldn’t try to push the boundaries to see how far he could stretch them.

Drew frowned. “I think there’s something wrong with your shirt. Can you take it off for a moment?”

“Sure.” I pulled it over my head and then looked at it. “What’s wrong with it?”

“Give it here and I’ll show you.”

I handed it over and Drew threw it on the bed behind him. He leered. “Much better. It was covering up too much of something I wanted to see.”

I crossed my arms and gave him a mock glare. I had walked into that one. “You’ve had your cheap thrill, now hand it back. I’m getting cold.”

He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around me. I let him, because I knew he couldn’t go too far with his parents nearby. I also admitted to myself that I enjoyed the playing, as long he kept his hands above the waist.

“If you’re cold, I can give you a nice rubdown,” he murmured.

“While that’s a tempting offer, I’d prefer to put the shirt back on.”

He kissed me lightly on the lips. “Spoilsport.”

* * *

The party was getting warmed up. From the impression Drew had given me about Peter’s previous parties, it was very low key compared to those, as far as decorations were concerned. After saying hello and expressing sympathy about my cast, Peter’s parents had retired to the other end of the house, leaving us teenagers with the home theatre and rumpus room, as well as the kitchen and bar area.

Peter must have caught my glance at the alcohol on display. “Sorry, that’s off limits, Rick. My parents operate on a trust basis and I’m in big trouble if I break that trust. All the others know about the rules, except for Keith and Sharon, and I’m sure Claire and Brandon will let them know.”

“Shouldn’t Drew have told me, then?” I asked, while I looked around to see what had happened to the boy in question. I spotted him speaking quietly to Brandon, probably planning something to do with Angus. He then headed over to the bar and started making up some drinks.

Peter chuckled. “He probably would’ve, eventually, but we all know him. Let’s just say I wasn’t willing to take the chance, so I’ve told you. We all know we can rely on you to do the right thing.”

I again couldn’t believe how quickly Drew’s friends had developed the idea that I could be trusted. Given what I was doing to Drew, I felt that they were being completely delusional.

“Feel free to help yourself to any of the non-alcoholic drinks, Rick. Dad even bought some non-alcoholic wine, but it tastes disgusting.” Peter chuckled. “Time to get some food from the oven. While I remember, I love the Star Trek theme. Trust you two to come up with something science fiction.”

Peter disappeared but returned soon afterwards with a plate of finger food that he proceeded to take around the room, starting with me. I took a vol-au-vent and then sat back while Peter served the others.

I was left alone for a couple of minutes, and that suited me fine. I took the opportunity to check out what everyone was wearing.

Peter was the clear master of ceremonies in his suit, and he wore it well. It gave him an air of sophistication and style that he usually didn’t project. I made a mental note to find out if there were any formal or semi-formal dances in the area, because they would be a good way for Peter to meet some new girls.

Yvonne and Mike had come as a French couple. Mike was dressed in the country style I’d seen on various TV shows, including a traditional French beret. I assumed that Yvonne must have gone to a fancy dress shop, because I doubted she owned a real French maid’s outfit. The dress was exceedingly short, and she seemed to enjoy the blatant stares most of the guys were sending her way. She only had eyes for Mike, though, which meant he had an almost permanent silly grin on his face.

Angus hadn’t gone to much trouble with his outfit. He wore jeans, workman boots, a check flannel shirt and a hat. The hat looked more Australian than American, so I guessed it was Brandon’s Akubra. Angus was seated in a corner, looking slightly nervous, while chatting with Joe and Sue.

Joe had, as promised, worn his underpants on the outside of his pants. The rest of his outfit was a Superman T-shirt and a crude cape that was tied around his neck. I didn’t expect that to last, because I thought it would get caught on things and choke him.

Sue was dressed as a very creditable Catwoman. Angus had made the mistake earlier of saying that Catwoman wasn’t a superhero, only to have Yvonne, Claire and Sue gang up on him by replying that she was to them. I had thought the same as Angus, but, luckily, I hadn’t said anything.

I was disappointed that Claire wasn’t wearing a bikini. Instead, she had on a one-piece bathing costume, partially hidden by a pair of cream shorts and a see-through blue blouse. She had arrived wearing a tracksuit over the outfit, but had taken that off once she was inside. She looked fantastic and I enjoyed watching her more than watching Yvonne.

Keith, I was pleased to see, hadn’t worn the Speedos that Claire had wanted him to wear. Instead, he had on some floral board shorts and a loose-fitting green polo shirt with a surfing picture on the back. I gritted my teeth when I first saw him, because the outfit looked good, but Claire didn’t seem to pay him excessive attention.

Brandon and Sharon had gone with a simple solution to their assigned sports theme. Sharon had on a netball uniform, and she must have won her argument with Brandon, because he was wearing his rugby uniform. I initially wondered why he had resisted the idea, but when I saw the way Sharon kept patting him on the bum and even going so far as to pinch him, and I knew that he was uncomfortable with the physical attention. I found that surprising, as I thought most guys would enjoy the attention from a good looking girl like Sharon. Brandon, though, was the sort that wanted to be in control of a situation, and Sharon was disrupting that preference.

“I see you’re checking everyone out,” Drew said, as he returned and handed me a cocktail. I glanced at it in surprise and with more than a touch of worry, given Peter’s instructions regarding the alcohol.

“Relax, it’s only fruit juice and a few other bits and pieces. Nothing that’s going to get Peter into trouble.”

“Weren’t you the one who was supposed to tell me that the booze is off limits?” I took a sip and found myself enjoying the taste. I couldn’t pick out exactly what had gone into it, but it had a very tropical tang.

Drew shrugged. “I knew Peter would tell you, and you’re not the sort to have taken a beer or some spirits without checking, so there wasn’t going to be a problem if he forgot.”

I grunted, because I knew he was right.

“Anyway, I saw you perving on Brandon. He looks good in those tight shorts, doesn’t he? Sharon’s enjoying the view as much as we are.”

“He doesn’t really play in those, does he? They look like they’d rip the first time he had to sprint down the field.”

Drew laughed. “I got the story from Angus, so it might not be completely accurate, but apparently Sharon found out what size shorts Brandon usually wears and bought a pair a size smaller. I don’t know how she managed it, but she got him to put on the ones she bought.”

“I find that hard to believe. All he had to do was to wear his own.”

Drew walked his fingers up my arm, sending a tickling sensation through me. “I’m sure if I put my mind to it, I could get you to wear tight shorts, so I don’t find it hard to believe at all. Sharon has talents, let us say, that make her quite persuasive with Brandon.”

I laughed. “Okay, I’ll concede that one.” I watched them for a few seconds. “He seems really taken by her.”

“I think he is, though sometimes it’s hard to tell. He’s a very private person when it comes to the softer emotions. He shows anger and aggression easily, but not many other feelings. I think she’s really good for him, and I hope it lasts.”

At that moment, Sharon pinched Brandon on the bum. He jumped and skidded around to put his back to the wall. Sharon chuckled softly and then moved up and rested her head on his shoulder while running a hand up and down his chest.

“If she keeps that up, I think she’ll drive him away,” I said.

“Nah. I’m sure he’s secretly enjoying it, but he thinks it’s not manly to show it.” Drew winked at me. “I know I wouldn’t mind having my bum pinched from time to time.”

I rolled my eyes and then grinned. “I’ll see what I can do about getting you a pet lobster for Christmas.”

Drew laughed. “You’re a wicked man, Rick, but I love you.” He gave me a quick kiss, which I just took. I still wasn’t used to him using the L word, especially not in front of others. I wasn’t sure who else had heard it, but it made me uneasy.

When we heard the doorbell ring, Drew and I looked at each other.

“I think that’s our surprise guest,” Drew muttered. “Let’s find a place to watch the fun.”

I nodded, and as Peter left the room we moved over to the side where we had a clear view of Angus. I had been running a million scenarios through my mind, and too many of them resulted in disaster. I crossed my fingers, hoping that everything would work out.

“I’m glad you could make it, James. Come in and make yourself at home,” Peter said as he came back into the room. “Nice outfit, by the way.”

James paused in the doorway. I had the impression he was checking to make sure he wasn’t going to be attacked. He was dressed as a good imitation of an American West cowboy, including the leather chaps that I have always presumed are to protect the legs when riding a horse. He even had a piece of straw that he was chewing out of the corner of his mouth, like a classic farm boy.

Drew and I quickly turned to look at Angus. His reaction was wonderful to behold. His jaw dropped, his eyes went wide, and the glass slipped from his hand, spilling his drink over his pants. “No fucking way! You’ve got to be joking!”

Peter played it deadpan. “Hey, Angus, what a coincidence! James is dressed as a cowboy, just like you.”

I heard some snickering alongside me and glanced across to see Claire covering her mouth to try to hide a grin. Keith didn’t bother hiding his. I saw Joe chuckling quietly to himself, and even Sue seemed to be having trouble keeping a straight face. Yvonne was frowning. Mike seemed amused, though his attention quickly returned to his girlfriend. Brandon and Sharon were grinning.

Drew raised his voice to make sure everyone could hear him. “Don’t they look good together, Rick? You’d almost think they planned it so they’d be wearing the same sort of clothes.”

Angus glared at Drew. “You! You and Peter planned this, didn’t you? Well, I don’t think it’s funny.”

“Settle down, Angus,” Brandon said. “You’re like a woman who’s offended because someone else is wearing the same outfit. Lighten up!”

Sharon tapped Brandon on the shoulder to attract his attention. “Pardon me? That remark sounded almost sexist. Would you like to rephrase it?”

Brandon looked sheepish. “Sorry, Shaz. But you know what I meant.”

She slipped herself under his arm and rested her head on his chest. “Forgiven, but watch it, Brando. Just because you’re big and strong and oh, so sexy, that doesn’t mean you can get away with things like that. Some of us women aren’t fussed about what other people wear, and we don’t like being stereotyped.”

James took a few steps into the room, but there was still a sizeable gap between him and Angus. Joe, Claire and Keith moved up to greet James, but Sue stayed back.

“Okay, everyone. Now that we’re all here, I’ve got some DVDs to put on. In honour of our special guests, the first one will be Brokeback Mountain. Angus, James, you two can share the couch, but try to keep yourselves under control. If you can’t, then go to my bedroom, at the other end of the house on the left.”

“You’re really enjoying this, aren’t you?” Angus asked, scowling at Peter.

Peter seemed to consider the question for a couple of seconds before grinning. “Yep!”

Angus spun around to glare at James. “And you keep the fuck away from me!”

I caught James’s wince, though he tried to conceal it. I then knew what I had to do. I hopped over to Angus. “Take off your shirt.”

“What?”

I stripped off my top. “I said take off your shirt. And I’d appreciate it if you could do it quickly, because I’m getting cold.”

“What are you doing?” Drew, along with most of the people in the room, looked confused.

“Angus and I are swapping shirts. He’s going to be your date for the night, and I’m going to be James’s.”

Drew’s mouth dropped open and I could feel the pain I had just caused him. I knew it wasn’t going to last, so I smiled. “It’s only for one night, and, honestly, I’m not going to enjoy things if Angus and James are out of sorts. This way we can all enjoy the party.”

Angus handed me his shirt and smiled. “Thanks, Rick. I owe you one.”

We’ll see about that. I kept my thought to myself. I slipped on Angus’s shirt, not bothering to do up most of the buttons. I could see a storm brewing on Drew’s face, but I hoped it would pass once he knew what I was up to.

I grinned at James and tried for my best American accent. “Howdy, pardner! Weren’t you just about to buy me a drink?”

James laughed. “Only if you promise not to try that accent again. And I hope that’s a gun in your pocket, or Drew’s going to castrate both of us.”

Most of the others laughed, but I saw Drew glance at my pants and then back up to my face. I thought he was hurt in a big way. I could read the doubts on his face, even though I had told him several times that James meant nothing to me.

“Angus, why don’t you go over and join Drew. He looks lonely,” I said.

Angus gave me a gentle punch to my shoulder. “Thanks, mate.” He then headed towards Drew.

I waited until he was halfway there. “Oh, and Angus? One more thing.”

He paused and glanced over his shoulder at me. “Yes?”

“Don’t listen to any of Drew’s excuses. Make him use a condom.” I winked, more for Drew than for Angus.

Angus’s expression was priceless.

He gaped at me and then looked nervously at Drew. Drew had caught on and was grinning broadly. He stepped up to Angus and slipped an arm across his shoulders. “Ignore him, Angus. We don’t need to worry about things like that.”

“Hey, I’m not sleeping with you!”

“You have to, Angus. You’re me for the night, and Drew and I, I mean you, have been going out for a while. He’s going to be really upset if you don’t.” Drew had been rubbing off on me, because I managed to say that with a straight face.

Drew grinned at me before planting a kiss on Angus’s cheek. Angus tried to pull away but Drew held him tight. “You heard the man, Angus. Now, do you want to snuggle up and watch the movie, or should we go straight to Peter’s room? I’ve heard he’s got a really, really comfortable bed.”

Angus managed to extract himself from Drew’s grasp. “I’m not doing it. I don’t have to be on a date if I don’t want to be.”

Drew shook his head. “Too late. You’ve already agreed to be my date for the night. It would be extremely offensive to pull out once you’ve agreed. You have to go through with it.” Drew had the audacity to bat his eyes at Angus. “You don’t want to disappoint me, do you?”

Peter laughed. He raised both hands and bowed towards me. “I concede. If I ever want to pay anyone back, I’ll be speaking to you, Rick, because that was absolutely sensational. And, Angus, make sure you change the sheets when you’re finished. I’ll be sleeping in that bed later tonight.”

Brandon applauded. “I agree, Rick. I’ll go along with Drew – you’re The Man.”

I grinned and then hopped over to where Angus was twitching nervously. “It’s only for fun, Angus, and it’s better that you get teased by Drew and not James, right?” I said quietly.

Angus glanced at Drew. “I’m not sure about that. James might’ve been the better choice.”

Drew laughed. “Too late, Angus. You’re mine for the night.” He paused and gave me a concerned look. “You won’t be doing anything with James, will you?”

I smiled. “It’s James and my first date, and you know I don’t put out on a first date. Don’t worry about me. You and Angus go have a good time.” I winked at Angus. “Just don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

Drew laughed. He knew what I wouldn’t do, but Angus didn’t. I could see that Drew was going to have a lot of fun playing with Angus’s mind.

“Come on, Angus. Let’s check out Peter’s room.”

“Uhm... I think I’ll stay here. It’d be rude to leave.”

“We won’t be gone long. Only an hour or two. The party will still be going by the time we get back.”

I kept my chuckles to myself until I had moved away. Joe, Sue, Claire, Keith and James joined me. Mike and Yvonne were sitting near the bar, chatting quietly. Brandon, Sharon and Peter were with Angus and Drew, and I overheard Brandon telling Angus that Drew is one in a million and that he really should try to keep Drew happy. My smile faltered, because I agreed with his first comment, but I wasn’t sure how to do the latter.

“So, you and Drew have taken your relationship to the next level. That’s great,” Joe said.

I glanced around and lowered my voice. “No, we haven’t, but don’t tell Angus. At least, not until tomorrow.”

Claire laughed and moved over to give me a kiss on the cheek. “You’re wonderfully evil, Rick, did you know that? When did you and Drew cook this up?”

That kiss reminded me that I had to work harder at my problems. I wanted more from her, but I wouldn’t be able to try until I had sorted things out with Drew.

I shrugged. “Peter was the one who came up with the idea of setting Angus up on a blind date with James. Angus kept saying he didn’t want a girlfriend, so Peter decided to get him a boyfriend.” I carefully didn’t look at Sue as I made the next comment. “James wouldn’t do it, though. He thought it would be too cruel.”

“That’s when Peter came up with the idea for the party,” James said. “I could go along with a party, because it’s only fun. Though Rick caught me by surprise when he swapped shirts with Angus. When did you and Drew decide to do that?”

“We didn’t. I thought of it tonight when I realised it wasn’t going to work out between you and Angus. He was freaking out, and you didn’t look comfortable, either.”

Sue sneered. “I would’ve thought it would be right down your alley, James. A chance to jump anything male that moved? You couldn’t have resisted.”

“Sue, can you please just drop it?” I asked.

Joe backed me up. “Let it rest, Sue.” He turned to me and grinned. “Your line about using a condom was sheer brilliance, Rick. You let him relax and then hit him right between the eyes. Or should that be between the balls?”

Sue elbowed him. “Watch the language. There are ladies present.”

Joe glanced around the room in mock surprise. “Where?”

Claire caught Sue’s eye. I thought that something passed between them, because Claire slipped away.

James shook his head. “Joe, you haven’t changed. You still like to live life on the edge.”

“Of course! It’s the only way to live.” Joe grinned at Sue. “Sue’s here to make sure I don’t go overboard, so I don’t have to worry.”

Sue raised an eyebrow. “How am I supposed to do that?”

“All you have to do is to...” Joe leant over and whispered in her ear.

“Is that all?” Sue smiled sweetly and laced her hands behind Joe’s neck. She looked him in the eye. “And all this time I thought that this,” she stomped on his foot, “was much more effective.”

Joe started jumping up and down while yelling from the pain. Claire returned and handed Sue a small container of ice which Sue then tipped down the front of Joe’s shirt.

Claire and Sue high-fived each other.

“What’s going on?” Peter asked from across the room.

“It’s okay. Joe’s just learning how to treat a lady properly, that’s all,” Sue said.

“Sue’s a very good teacher.” Joe gave her a grin, then winced and shook his foot. “With very sharp shoes.”

James caught my eye. “Aren’t you glad we don’t have to go through all that learning, Rick? From the way Joe’s reacting, it’s hard work.”

Sue glared at him, but it was Claire who spoke. “Just because you’re gay, that doesn’t mean you don’t have to treat us girls in the right way.” She turned to me. “Isn’t that right, Rick?”

I took a chance and grabbed her hand. I pulled her towards me and gave her a quick kiss, though I was ready to stop if I felt any resistance. “How’s that? Is that what you mean?”

Claire grinned and glanced over to where Drew and the others in that group were watching. “Almost, but you need to put more heart into it.”

She put her hand behind my head and kissed me. She kissed me long and hard, with an open mouth. I was more than happy to oblige, and I was sorry when she pulled away.

“Hmm... that was nice.” Claire raised her voice. “Drew, you’re one very, very lucky guy.”

“And you think I don’t know that? Just don’t get used to it, Claire. Rick’s mine! Well, except for tonight. Tonight, Angus is mine, and Rick’s free if you want him.”

“In that case, I’ll just borrow him for a while. I’ve always had a thing for cowboys.” Claire smiled at me, a smile that I was more than happy to return. She slipped her arm around my waist.

The icing on the cake was the look on Keith’s face. He seemed confused, and maybe a touch worried. It was a perfect moment.

James turned to Keith. “It looks like both our dates have dumped us. How about we drown our sorrows with a bottle of Coke?”

Keith’s chuckle had an edge to it. “Yeah, okay, but just remember you’re not my type.”

Claire raised an eyebrow. “You should’ve worn the Speedos, like I suggested. A cute guy in Speedos is about the only thing that can compete with a cute cowboy.”

“Really?” Keith reached down, ripped open the Velcro on his board shorts, and let them drop to the floor. He struck a bodybuilder pose in his much-too-skimpy Speedos. “How about this?”

“Hmm.” Claire licked her lips and glanced at Sue. “Do you think it’s being greedy if I have both the Speedos and the cowboy?”

Sue grinned. “Nope. You can have the Speedos, but I want what’s in them.”

“Hey, what about me?” Joe asked, sounding hurt.

Sue patted him on the cheek. “James is still single. You can entertain him, since you like the bastard that much.”

Joe stared at James. “It looks like it’s just the two of us, mate.” He pointed a finger at James. “But no kissing!”

Keith grinned and moved up on the other side of Claire from me. “Sorry, Sue, but me and my Speedos only get separated under special circumstances.”

“I didn’t think you were going to wear them,” Claire said.

Keith shrugged. “I felt uneasy at the idea of parading around without pants on, but since that’s what you really want....” He grinned and gave her a quick kiss.

My perfect moment hadn’t lasted very long.

Copyright © 2014 Graeme; All Rights Reserved.
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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Chapter Comments

Rick just keeps getting himself in deeper and deeper. I don't see any way out of this unless Drew finds someone else and breakers it off with Rick. I'm also kind of sick of Drew's constant sexual crap but that's only because I have a friend who does the same thing. I have to remember these kids are in their teens and not as old as I am.

 

I'm curious to see how the players end up.

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On 03/12/2014 01:42 AM, Gene63 said:
Rick just keeps getting himself in deeper and deeper. I don't see any way out of this unless Drew finds someone else and breakers it off with Rick. I'm also kind of sick of Drew's constant sexual crap but that's only because I have a friend who does the same thing. I have to remember these kids are in their teens and not as old as I am.

 

I'm curious to see how the players end up.

You have to remember that Drew probably believes that Rick will like that 'sexual crap'. :)
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I actually like the humour and the sexual innuendos. But maybe that's just the big kid in me. 😆

I'm still not sure how this is going to turn out and we have only four chapters to go. 

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