Redemption's A Bitch - 16. Spending Every Night Together

“Are you really sure you wanna do that?” Robin arched an eyebrow at his bed mate.

“Yup,” Kieran grinned cockily, “I do. Go on.”

“Well, if you’re sure…”

“You’re such a fucking tease Sparrow! C’mon already.”

Robin flicked to the appropriate page and barked with laughter.

“You open the cupboard, there is a blood curdling scream and a strange ghastly apparition shoots out and passes right through you. Lose two fear points and turn to four-hundred-and-sixty-seven.”

“Hey! I only had two fear points left!” Kieran growled in annoyance.

“That means you died!” Robin giggled in delight, “which means I won!”

“Technically, the book won,” Kieran pointed out with a soft smile, “but, OK, you won. What do you want?”

Robin dropped the House of Hell Adventure Story Book to the floor and pushed Kieran back onto the mattress before straddling his hips. The closeness of his boyfriend’s delightful body made all the blood in Kieran’s body flow directly to his crotch. Robin wiggled against him.

“But, you won?”

“Means I get what I want,” Robin leant down and kissed him, all wet and open and tasting like orange juice and chocolate, “and right now I want all of you inside me.”

Kieran’s hand scrambled automatically for a gold wrapped condom and he grinned like the luckiest boy alive.

“Yes sir, Sparrow.”

“Ungh… say that again.”

Kieran pulled the boy down until his ear was brushing against Kieran’s lips.

“Anything you want, sir,” Robin shivered in pleasure against him, “I’m all yours.”

*

Neither of them had been properly fully dressed in nearly a week. Kieran had pulled on sweats and a t-shirt more hole than actual shirt to answer the door for grocery delivery, but mostly they had been surviving on whatever was in the fridge and cupboards, eating odd meals at strange times of day, lying around the bed, the house, and the garden partially or completely unclothed and touching constantly. Robin had called home to say he was staying out with friends for a few days, and then both of them had abandoned their phones on the hall table in order to better enjoy each other.

Kieran had never been so happy to stay home in his whole life. Sometimes he realised that actually, he had never been happier in his whole life, but the thought was so sickly sweet he didn’t want to indulge it too much, lest he be accused of being sappy. Kieran was sure the dogs might have preferred longer runs, but they spent a lot of time in the big garden, playing and wandering, and chasing after Robin gave them plenty of exercise. The little Sparrow had taken to them just like Vuka had, with instant joy now that there was no one to watch and judge.

Most of all, Kieran couldn’t get over how easy everything now seemed. There was no more fighting, no more posturing for the upper hand, no more tense seduction. Robin wanted to be with him, and they traded the balance of power back and forth without ever discussing it. Robin would come and snuggle under his arm and Kieran would know automatically, in a way he had never experienced before, that now was the time to be strong and powerful and dominate the boy in just the way he wanted. Other times Robin would push against his chest, kiss him, and Kieran would be all too happy to roll over and take instruction. It was all so much fun. Every time Kieran’s snarky inner voice told him it couldn’t last, he ignored it.

“Do you think we should get dressed today?” Robin stood in the main doorway wearing nothing but a pair of Kieran’s boxers, fresh from a shower, looking at his lover lying on the grass with the dogs. “Your phone was beeping again. You think you should answer it?”

Kieran frowned unhappily. He didn’t want to leave the little bubble which they had occupied for four days, but he couldn’t ignore the outside world forever: especially not when it was offering him such golden opportunities.

“Was it Brian?”

“I didn’t look,” Robin’s flat stomach growled, “and there’s no more bread left. Let’s go out.”

“OK,” Kieran gave up with a shrug. Whatever made Robin happy was fine by him, “we’ll take the dogs for a walk, get something to eat…”

“You should go to the track.”

“Babe?”

“Your calendar said you were due there yesterday,” Robin smiled softly. “I’ll come too, don’t worry.”

“It’ll be really boring,” Kieran gave his boyfriend a half smile.

“You’ll be straddling a motorbike in tight leathers,” Robin smirked, “how could that possibly be boring?”

Watching Robin get dressed into Kieran’s clothes was strangely arousing. Since Robin’s only other options were his wedding suit and a shirt with half a dozen missing buttons, he pulled on a pair of Kieran’s jeans, they were a bit long, but looked good with turn-ups, and a bright red t-shirt from his wardrobe. When Robin saw him watching he narrowed his eyes in the mirror and ran his hand through his hair.

“You do that a lot y’know.”

“What?” Kieran pulled a shirt over his head, something thin that would sit well under his leathers. He grabbed jeans too, but he only wore soft long-john style leggings when he was riding competitively.

“You’re always watching me,” Robin abandoned the mirror and crossed the room to stand near him, “it’s really intense.”

“Sorry.” Kieran bit his lip, the hand that had crept out to wrap around Robin’s slim waist was suddenly hesitant. Robin frowned, wrapped his fingers around Kieran’s wrist and applied his warm palm to his side. Kieran slipped his fingers under his shirt with guilty pleasure.

“Don’t be sorry. You’ve been sorry enough,” Robin leant up and kissed his throat quickly, “remember, I love you.” He stole the socks Kieran was holding and continued getting dressed. “You don’t watch other people so intensely, just me.”

“You’re special.”

“Why?” Robin sounded genuinely interested; there was no note of teasing in his tone, “why am I special, Kieran?”

Kieran’s brain flooded with a million reasons: Robin had denied him, made him wait, he had been immune to Kieran’s charm, and his charisma. He had blocked every attempt to seduce him Kieran had ever made, and it hadn’t been until Kieran stopped trying to pursue him that Robin had even looked his way. Robin was not a conquest, he was not Kieran’s prize, and the young man came to the shaming realisation the boy was probably the only person he had ever treated with a shred of decency.

That’s not true, Kieran’s internal voice knocked his self-pitying train of thought off its rails, you are good to your cousin, and you are good to the dogs.

They don’t count. They’re the only family I have left.

The children, and Callé and Rob; they love you for who you are, so do Hayley and Brian, so does Ralph, and William.

William only puts up with me because of Ralph, Kieran sighed.

Everything else is true though.

“Kier?”

“No one else will put up with me,” Kieran shrugged off the emotions he knew had coloured his features while the boy waited for his answer, “let’s go pretty boy.”

*

It felt strange to arrive at Brands Hatch without his own bike. They took the Mitsubishi and Robin teased him the whole way about owning a car almost entirely for the purposes of transporting dogs, right up until Vuka tried to climb between the front seats and managed to lick Robin in the ear. The head mechanic Dylan had not been deeply pleased at his phone call, a day late for his first training session, but he was smiling at least when they pulled up at the back of the pit, spilling out in a mess of dogs and happy barking.

“Every time you pull a stunt like that, I’m gonna pull another row of stiches outta your leathers,” Dylan planted his hands on his hips, but the second mechanic, his overalls already slightly stained, bent immediately to fuss the dogs. Inu and Suk mugged him instantly. “You’ll look grand riding naked, eh hotshot? Oh get up off the floor Ben!”

“And who’s gonna hand over my leathers to you?”

“I will,” Kieran looked away, re focused on the open door, and the figure sitting there, holding his new team leathers.

“Brian!” Kieran abandoned everything to hug his old friend as hard as he could, “you’re here! How come?”

“Put me back in the damn chair you pointlessly tall bastard.” Kieran settled Brian’s dead weight back into the seat of the wheelchair and his friend settled himself with his hands. “Mark Smith called me yesterday, said he needed someone who could corral his new racer.” Brian was smiling. He pushed Kieran’s new leathers into his abdomen. “Now get your skinny arse on that damn bike and lay some rubber on the track!”

Kieran jogged into the pit shed and stared at the bike. It had been worked on since he’d last ridden it, and Kieran could see Brian’s influence with the mechanics: he always knew exactly how Kieran liked his bikes to ride. Ten seconds of staring dumbly at the bike later, Kieran turned and sprinted back outside with his fingers on his fly. Robin was chatting with Brian and the mechanics, Shadow waiting by his thigh, the boy’s fingers stroking the top of the husky’s massive head. Kieran slipped into the little group and kissed his boyfriend hard. Only when Robin moaned into his mouth did Kieran break the kiss and smile at him.

“Wow…”

“Thanks babe.”

“What was that for?”

“Luck,” Kieran grinned. “Be good boys. Look after Sparrow for me.” He left his jeans in a puddle by the bike, stepped into his leathers and pulled on boots and gloves. He was tucking his hair into the back of his collar, helmet on the seat of the bike, when Dylan stepped in.

“We tuned her up for you, like Brian asked us to. You should get another two seconds out of her now.”

“She’s got my name on.” Kieran smooth his gloved palm over the front cowling where his name had been transferred under the tiny windshield.

“That was Ben. He has a thing for the slick look.”

“Thanks,” Kieran took the time to smile at him before he pulled his helmet on, “now let’s go get some!”

Sometimes it took time to love a bike. People always said that bikes were just machines and the uninitiated thought anyone could get on and ride them. But Kieran had heard people wax lyrical about riding horses, and riding bikes wasn’t much different if you were doing it right. It had taken him months to learn the Ducati, and the red bike was a temperamental steed. The Suzuki on the other hand was like a steady dependable cart horse, and Kieran knew he could leave it for months and come back, and the ride would be just the same. But this bike knew him. Kieran could feel the Kawasaki underneath him, wanting to ride, wanting to turn. He pushed the bike and found nothing to push against, because the bike was as intent on running as fast as he was. They threw each other around every corner, and Kieran loved every second of it.

When he pulled into the pit for more fuel and fresh tyres, Dylan and Ben were both grinning, the satisfied smiles of men in overalls who had done a good job and were going to continue to do so. Kieran chatted to them about the bike, short hard sentences exchanged over the pounding of his heart as he balanced the bike between his legs. As soon as he could, he pulled back out onto the circuit.

Kieran was almost always watched when he rode, but as he opened out the throttle on the track, he had a flash of Robin on the sidings watching him. You didn’t really see the things you passed when you were moving that fast, you sort of remembered seeing them. And in the picture Kieran’s brain had taken Robin was smiling, glowing like the sun, waving to him as he flashed past. Kieran couldn’t help but smile in the privacy of his helmet. He rode harder and faster after that, cutting every corner as close as possible while he racked up the miles. It wasn’t until he’d clocked nearly five-hundred that the mechanics waved him in with a final flag, and Kieran actually got off the bike.

“How’d I do?”

“Not bad,” Dylan nodded, satisfied, “we need to get you on some other tracks though. You’re too slick.”

Kieran nodded, but his mind wasn’t on the conversation. Robin was sitting on the grass with the dogs, chatting with Brian as though they’d known each other for years. Kieran felt his chest go tight, because he didn’t want Robin talking to his friends. It wasn’t that he didn’t like Brian, far from it, or trust him implicitly, but he’d never had anyone to introduce to his friends before, and he did not want stories of his inability to maintain anything approaching a relationship encroaching on the present. Robin knew about his… shallowness, his casual attitude to sex, but Kieran hadn’t admitted that the little Sparrow held a unique place in his heart and history as the only person he’d ever slept with more than once. There had been multiple orgasms before, but never had Kieran sought out the same person to share his time, his company and his bed. He didn’t want Robin thinking less of him again.

Brian saw him coming, and waved from the chair as the dogs bounded across the grass to mob him.

“Well done superstar!” Brian turned to face him with a broad grin, “very nice work indeed.”

“Thanks Brian,” Kieran looked at Robin from under his dark lashes, waiting for him to pass judgement. Robin merely smiled at him softly, his hazel eyes glowing.

“But you’ve done better,” Brian was never one to let him rest on his laurels, “we need to get you on track visualisations and I want to you ride the next three circuits next week. We’ll leave on Tuesday.”

“But-”

“The dogs can come with us, it’s all arranged.”

Kieran blinked hard, but nodded. He knew he couldn’t keep Robin with him twenty-four hours a day forever.

“Kier, your friends are such fun,” Robin got up from the grass and took his hand, “maybe you should introduce me to more of them?”

“I might just do that.”

Kieran let his leathers hang around his waist as they walked away from the track, the dogs bouncing around them, each wanting cuddles and ruffles from their master. Kieran pulled his hair out of its braid and shook it loose before lifting his thin t-shirt to wipe his face.

“Brian’s a nice guy. I didn’t really get a chance to chat with him at the wedding.” Robin pitched a tennis ball into the undergrowth for the dogs to chase, as he had been doing sporadically for the last two hours or so. “Kier, how come I’ve never met any of your friends?”

“I haven’t met any of yours either.”

“Well, I wasn’t going to introduce them to a guy I couldn’t stand… oh,” Robin faltered, “sorry.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Kieran slipped his arm around Robin’s waist, grinning happily to himself when the young man leant into the contact, “we both wasted a lot of time.”

“Oh,” Robin’s hand slipped down the back of his leathers and gripped his arse firmly, “I wouldn’t necessarily call it wasted,” Robin smiled, “you were great today.”

“Yeah?”

“Remember what I said last time? About taking it back?”

“Sure.” Of course Kieran remembered. It had been their first real Kiss That Meant Something.

“You did it babe. You’re a racer.”

“Not until I win something,” Kieran replied with a quick frown.

Robin punched his arm.

“Then get back out there and win something!”

*

“Why do you have so many dogs, babe?”

Kieran glanced up from his hand of cards and across the monopoly board at his lover. It was late, they’d lain on the sofa eating Chinese takeaway and watching a film about formula one racing in the late sixties. Now the dogs lay in sleepy fur piles around the bed, Vuka wedged on his spine with his legs in the air and Shadow happily spread-eagled on the thick rug, while they played over the surface of the mattress. Robin was down to boxers, one sock and a pair of Kieran’s old sweatpants, but Kieran was happily losing in nothing now but a sheet around his hips.

“Shadow was my fifteenth birthday present.” Even though he was apparently asleep, the big black dog cocked at ear at the mention of his name. “I bought Inu and Suk when I got bored between first and second year of uni, and I got Vuka a couple of years ago, kind of on a whim.”

“But why?” Robin frowned softly.

Kieran glanced across at the dogs, Inu and Suk a mass of bi-coloured fur with two faces hiding under tails.

“They’re good company: you can never be lonely with them. I needed Shadow when I was a kid, needed him like you wouldn’t believe. He and Shas were my only family,” Kieran ducked behind his hair quickly, and wiped his eyes with his knuckles, “now I think I’m just assembling a sled dog team.”

“You wanna go to Alaska, Vuka?” Robin asked: the wolf-dog whined at him, “I think they kinda like it here, Kier.”

“Not sure either of us would do so well in that much snow either.” Kieran rolled the dice, and took the dog shaped counter all the way to Piccadilly. “You own that one don’t you?”

“And I got two houses. I think you might be down to nothing but your skin now babe.”

“The dice like you,” Kieran narrow his eyes, “I’m sure you must be cheating somehow.”

“Nah, you’re just unlucky,” Robin rolled over, grinning at him upside down, the game sort-of abandoned, “lose the sheet.”

Kieran threw the cotton over the board, and used the distraction to jump across the bed and pin Robin to the mattress. The boy yelped and squealed as they set about trying to tickle each other, but Kieran shoved down his sweatpants and blew him through his boxers until Robin was moaning and begging for release. Kieran gave it to him, but not until they were both naked and sweaty half an hour later.

They fell asleep that night with the dogs decorating the rooms, their clothes discarded and the bedding in a mess. But Robin had his head on Kieran’s shoulder, his arm around the young man, Robin’s light tan skin contrasting pleasantly with Kieran’s darker shade. Damp from their shower, they kissed in the dark, and Kieran told his sleepy lover all sort of pretty things.

And every single one of them was true.