GFD 07: Renegade - 9. Chapter 9

Michael walked way ahead of me, constantly motioning with his hand to tell me where to go, and we made it to the same abandoned building down the block where we always seemed to end up. I guess the rest of them considered it to be our solitude from the lot. Michael led me up to the roof, and closed the door behind us. A slight lopsided grin was plastered on his face, but somehow it wasn't as 'friendly' as he was intending it to be. "Sooo....what is this all about, Michael?"

He walked passed me with a slow pace, and leaned over the side of the roof to look down at the ground below. He didn't say anything right away, and I walked a little closer to the ledge myself to see what he was looking at. Then he spoke, grinning to himself, "Trevor brought you up here, didn't he? Showed you the 'sparkling skyline' of Chicago? Gave you the big 'we'll outlive them all' speech?" He paused, but didn't necessarily wait for an answer. "I know he did. It's ok. He did the same for me. That was the first night he ever kissed me. The first night we ever made love. God..he is absolutely delicious in every possible way, you know that?"

"Um...no...no I didn't."

"Mmmmm...the things he can do to you with just the flick of his tongue..." Michael stopped for a moment, and said, "I've never known a feeling this strong." He smiled, then added, "But why am I telling YOU all of this? You already know, right? I mean you're the magic boy that won Taryn's heart. I don't think I've never seen him so alive."

"Thanks." I had to admit, it was strange having him talk to me with such ease all of the sudden. I still was unable to figure out exactly what was gong on here, but it was starting to creep me out a bit. He wasn't being himself.

"You know...I haven't seen Taryn around much lately."

"He's around. Probably went out to the lake or something."

"Ah yes, the lake. He loves that anchor out on Navy Pier. Especially when he found 'you' out there. It was like he had gotten addicted to it. So anxious...running out to see if you'd be there..." He trailed off, and I was let wondering if he had a point in bringing me out here.

"Yeah...I guess."

Michael stood up and faced me. "It just struck me as...'odd', that you two weren't together every minute of the day anymore. You seem to be running around an awful lot without him."

"Well, Bryson thinks that spending too much time together might hinder my abilities a little. But it'll be over soon."

"VERY soon, or so I hope." He said, and that's when things got weird. "I mean...then none of us will have to keep an eye on you anymore, and we can all get back to normal." He smiled, more sarcasm filling his face than any other definable emotion. Then he stepped forward, and I could feel a negative charge of energy slowly begin to creep up from my feet and seemingly into my heart. He started again, "So...are you happy? You and Taryn? You seem like a very unbreakable pair. That's a special thing."

"I'm happy. I love him."

"Good. Very good." He gently put his hand on my arm, and I could feel another surge of energy run through me, this was foreign, however. Like it was a part of him transfered into me somehow. And I didn't exactly know what caused it, but my muscles tensed up and prepared themselves to strike. It was as though I was being 'attacked' somehow...even through a touch this gentle. "You know...love is hard to come by. And TRUE love? Well....that's nearly impossible. But you find it if you happen to be one of the lucky ones." I wanted to pull away from him. Something about this whole private meaning was wrong, and when he let me go, I began to slowly back away from him. Keeping just enough distance to be ready if this turned out to be more than just a conversation. "Sometimes, Justin....I consider myself to be one of the lucky ones."

"Really? That's...that's cool." I said.

"Yeah. Trevor and I, we have our difficulties from time to time. But all relationships go through that. He always manages to come home." He made small movents to step closer to me, and I made small movements to keep our distance the same. It almost became a suspicious game for us to play. "When Trevor first found me...I was running away from an orphanage, I had nowhere to go...I had been beaten nearly unconscience by a group of acid punks and was basically alone. He gave me a choice, I took the road that led to 'him'. I fell in love almost instantly. He used to say such wonderful things to me, about how he thought I was cute, and how sexily my body would move when we laid down together, how he loved to run his fingers through my hair." Michael looked up at the stars above us "Sometimes, I swear he is the only thing in my life that makes this darkness bearable. He's the most beautiful person I have ever known." Then he turned his eyes back on me. And a cold stare penetrated through his once polite smile. "The thing is...as much as I love him with all my heart, believe me I do...I know he isn't exactly perfect. No one is, no matter how close they come. He can be prone to...temptations. Just like anyone else. He's gorgeous, I'm sure that there are others out there who would like to sample a taste of the love we've shared these past few years."

"Listen, Michael...if this is about me and Trevor..."

"No. There IS no you and Trevor. That is what I need you to understand." His smile was gone entirely, and that cold shiver was heating up fast inside of me. "I've given my life for him. My heart, my soul...he represents every breath that I take, and I won't let anyone come between us. Not now, not ever."

"I don't want your boyfriend, Michael. Honestly. You can keep him." I said, but I don't think he was buying it. "I promise...I'm not trying to muscle in on anything. Ok?" He didn't answer me, he simply cocked his head to one side, that same sarcastic grin reappearing on his face, and stared at me in silence. "I think...I'm gonna go back now."

"Don't let me stop you." He stepped to one side, and I walked past him, the two of us keeping a strong unshakable eye contact until I had reached the door. Then he said, "And Justin..."

"What?"

"Let's not forget that we had this conversation. Ok?" His eyes hardened. "I'd hate to have to have it again."

I left. Was I scared? Psh! Whatever. I know Gyro warned me about Michael's jealousy, but knowing what I know now, and being able to handle myself these days, he wasn't much more than gum on the bottom of my shoe. Still, less conflict is probably best. Especially when it comes to conflict in the only place that I can call 'home' right now. So when I walked away, I left it alone. Besides, if he wanted me to stay away Trevor, he didn't have to ask me twice. The BIG problem was getting Trevor to stay away from me.

When I got back to the lot, only Bryson, Doc, and Jun were there. It seems that even Dylan had gone out to roam the streets tonight. But with only a few hours left in the night, I knew they'd be wandering back pretty soon. So I said goodnight to Bryson and walked back to the van. On the way, I asked Doc again if he was sure he was ok. His quick and rehearsed answer? "Right as rain. G'night." And that was it. It was one of those moments that you really saw a disturbance in somebody and wanted to give them a hug until it passed. But, as long as he was smiling, I technically wasn't supposed to know about the pain he's going through. I guess the solution will be solved on his approval only. And not a second before.

I climbed into the van and sat down on the edge of our little bed to take my shoes off. Looking around the place, I wondered how I could have found such happiness in a run down abandoned car lot. Michael DID have one thing right...finding true love IS nearly impossible for most people. I never believed it even existed until Taryn's bright green eyes brought it crashing through my doubt and my pain and just...carried me to a level above it all. Now, every time I laid my eyes on him, it was like I felt that warm rush all over again. Being one of the lucky ones was a concept far beyond me at one time. It feels so incredible to have caught up to it.

Looking over at the side of the bed, I opened our little dresser drawer to grab one of Tim's tapes and put it on for the night. Not that the tapes were doing that good of a job anymore. Whatever protection they were giving me from the Beast while I slept was dwindling fast. It was finding a way into my dreams anyway, and after what happened at the club, I think it won't be long until it's in my waking life too. I sighed to myself as I put the tape in the machine, and the thought of it reminded me of what Comicality had warned me about. That it may soon be out of his control what happens to me. I rumbled around through the dresser until I found the directions to this 'sanctuary' that Tim told me about. It wasn't that hard to memorize, but I wondered why it would be such a safe place to hide if there was trouble. It was just some run down church on the Northside, it was hardly a fortress. What was the name he told me again? Dash....yeah, that's it. See Dash, and he'll be able to help me if anything goes wrong. Let's hope that it won't come to that.

I heard voices outside, and it was obvious that some of our 'family' was coming home for the night. I heard the door to the van open up and Taryn was saying goodnight as he stepped in to join me. "Hey!" He smiled in surprise, "Look who decided to come home early for a change?" The sparkle of his grin was enough to make my whole body tremble. "Hopefully you didn't get yourself into too much trouble tonight."

"No more than usual, I guess."

He sat down next to me and gave me a kiss on the cheek. "Good news. NO training tomorrow. Not for you, not for me, no lessons, no chores. Just you and me." He giggled.

"Wait, are you SERIOUS? How in the hell did you work THAT out with Bryson?"

"Simple. I whined and cried and bugged him about it until he caved in." I smiled back at him, letting the amazingly soft features of him dissolve into my eyes, so enriched by the very sight of him. Can you even imagine what it's like to be left so breathless, so often? "So..." He asked, "Do we have a date?"

I kissed him softly on his lips, and said, "Yes. We most DEFINITELY have a date."

Taryn kicked off his shoes and started to unbutton his shirt, getting himself ready for bed. Even though we had well over an hour left until sunrise, it was the only quiet time we'd have to spend with one another. The whole time he was undressing, he was talking to me. Just small talk and possible activities for us to get into the next evening, and some weird guy that tried to subtley 'pick him up' at the laundromat earlier that evening. You should know, that when the other person can read your thoughts, 'subtle' is just a waste of time. Then I zoned out a little, just gazing at him. I think he noticed.

"What are you doing?" He said bashfully. "Are you staring at me again?"

"Yeah...I am." I said softly. "You're so beautiful, you know that?"

"I better be." He joked. It was like he was trying to avoid the compliment by laughing it off, but I didn't let him get away with it.

"No, I mean it. You're...you're incredible." He smiled at me, but turned away as his cheeks became blushed a darker shade of pink.

"You must be horny. Hehehe!"

"Maybe. That doesn't stop it from being true, though." He was too shy to say anything in return, so I leaned closer as he was taking his pants off, and kissed him lovingly on his neck, letting my lips linger there before pulling them back. Then I let a series of smaller kisses travel upwards to his cheek, and eventually, connecting to his lips. I helped him out of his pants and we laid back on the bed to continue making out for what seemed like an eternity. The taste of his lips was more mindblowing than anything I've ever known. With my eyes closed, I could feel every inch of him, his very being as it was pressed against me. My love had turned to passion, and my passion was quickly turning to lust, as I became hungry for his sex. With a wicked smile, I rubbed the already fully erect tent in his boxers, and slid down to the floor of the van as he trembled in anticipation. It only took a second or two to fish him out of the opening, and take him into the loving warmth of my mouth. I missed him, I missed him through every trial and tribulation that I had been through, and during our limited moments together...I made it a point to spend every second in ecstacy.

My tongue licked seductively under the ridge of his circumsision, and I lightly, playfully, let my front teeth rake themselves over the pinkish head. He twitched and let a sexy giggle escape his lips. I laughed a bit myself, and then took him all the way down into me. He was succulent, making my mouth water and filling my world with the taste of my lover again and again. He whimpered with the cutest little boy voice, and my hands roammed back and forth over his thighs. And then......then......something strange happened to me. Something I couldn't explain.

It was like...having your body filled up with cement or something. I felt 'full', almost to the point of bursting, but it was trying to balance itself out somehow. I attempted to ignore the feeling as I heard Taryn's appreciative moans above me, and I went back to sucking him with a fever. But the feeling came back stronger this time. It wasn't like a physical full, it was more like a spiritual thing. Like having someone else inside of you. The feeling became so disorienting that I had to take Taryn out of my mouth and try to regain my sense of reality.

Taryn propped himself up on his elbows and said, "What is it? What's wrong?"

"I...I don't know. I feel...I feel..." Then I got a picture of Michael in my mind. That grin, that threat, that touch of his on the rooftop. And in my mind, I could see him clear as day. He was...INSIDE me! I could feel his presence, smell his scent on me, I could even taste his breath. What the fuck is THIS???

"What's the matter, Justin? Mad because I get to sample some of YOUR life for a change?" Came a voice from the back of my mind. It was like he was...possessing me! I was in control, but he was seeing what I see, feeling what I felt, tasting what I tasted! The son of a bitch was invading me in the worst possible way!

"MICHAEL!" I shouted, and jumped up from the floor in anger.

"Michael? What are you talking about?" Taryn was confused, and could hardly get dressed fast enough to stop me.

"That little mother FUCKER!!!" Once my anger got the best of me, it was like all of the other extras flared up at once. My emotions fueled my rage and it began to snowball as I kicked open the door to the van and raced outside. There was Michael, sitting on the hood of a car, eyes closed, concentrating in order to use his extra to violate me while I was with my boyfriend! Max, Rain, Kid, and a few others were surprised by my outburst, obviously not knowing what was going on at the moment. But my anger was a runaway train at this point, and I walked over to Michael fast enough to leave a cloud of dust behind me. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING???" I shouted, and that's when Michael opened his eyes with a smile, and that strange feeling inside left me.

"Just seeing what all the fuss was about. That Taryn sure is a tastey one, isn't he?" He said.

My mind didn't have time to stop me. My hands reached up and grabbed him around the collar, yanking him down off of that hood so fast that he didn't even have a way of breaking the fall when he hit the ground. My emotions burned even hotter, and HOTTER...it was like it was never going to stop. It felt like being back in that classroom all over again, beating the snot out of some kid and putting an end to the demon pushing me to hit harder. Only this time...I didn't know if I was going to be able to stop. This time, kicking ass would come easy.

"WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH!!!!" Bryson shouted, and the others ran over to grab a hold of me!

"LET ME GO!!!" I screamed, fighting to get loose. But Dion and Max had a good hold on me from either side.

Michael rose to his feet, and stared me down as though his hatred had doubled for me in the last few minutes. "Calm down! What the fuck is wrong with you?" Max yelled, and twisted my arm hard to get me to stop struggling.

"Justin! Justin, stop!" Dion said, also trying to keep me in line. But their adrenaline just seemed to combine with my own, and it only made me fight harder to get another shot at him. I felt my emotions go spinning so far out of control that it went even beyond what Jenna must have been able to do with this extra of hers. Taryn had finished getting dressed and ran out with his shirt unbuttoned.

"Wait! Don't hurt him!"

Bryson demanded, "JUSTIN! Stop this! NOW!" But I wouldn't. I COULDN'T! My body was so enraged that it was literally going for the jugular whether I orded it to or not. It was then that I broke my hand free from Dion, and reached out for Michael, my fury grabbing a hold of him and nearly tearing the shirt clean off of him! My eyes turned a deep crimson, and my fangs suddenly shot down from my gums as my most SAVAGE instincts took hold of me. I was gonna rip his fucking head off!

Max held me back, and that's when everything went wrong. My body reacted the only way it knew how. It was defending me against an attack, what was it supposed to do? When Max pulled back on me, I felt my arm spin around and hit him square in the jaw. My foot left the ground and struck out at Dion who was coming in from the side to contain me. They had no idea what was happening, and neither did I. But by the time I had realized what was going on, the blows had already been delivered. My body was completely on autopilot and I couldn't stop myself. I smacked Jenna to the ground unwillingly, and when Max came back to grab me from behind, I pushed out a punch to his chest that knocked him up against a car almost ten feet away from us! And then...without knowing, Taryn did his best to get me to listen. But when he touched me, my hands reacted, and I struck him in the eye, knocking him backwards to the ground below. Only then, in that sickeningly sobering moment...was I able to regan some self control.

The anger was still inside of me, still pulsing away, still ordering me to lash out and cause more destruction. But as I looked at the ground beneath me...I saw my friends....no, my FAMILY...recovering from the beating 'I' had given them. Not even my beautiful Taryn was spared. Oh my God....what have I done?

I couldn't move. It was the first time I had ever been truly scared of myself. I suppose this is what Comicality meant by being 'dangerous'. Max was groaning in pain, rubbing the spot on his chest where I had hit him, a painful bruise already swelling up on him. Jenna was holding the side of her face, a few tears crawling down one of her cheeks, causing her contacts to glow. And Bryson just stood there in shock, not knowing what to make of me. Giving me that 'genetic experiment gone horribly wrong' look again. And Dion, possibly one of the best friends I've ever had, was gasping for air as he recovered from ME knocking the wind out of him. Was this all from me? Did I do all this? It seemed so surreal.

Kid ran over to Max's side, and when he saw that he was hurt, he ran top speed at me. He was just a little boy, but he started to silently hit me with his fists. Pounding at my chest in anger, trying to defend his friends. But I felt nothing. Nothing at all. He was doing no damage, but he punched at my chest with everything that he had and I didn't stop him. Then...I felt my arms tense up again, and I knew that I had to go before they rose up in my defense. I couldn't hurt that boy. I couldn't hurt ANYBODY! Why is this happening!

"I'm sorry!" I shouted, my eyes welling up with tears of unimaginable shame for what I had done. "I'm SO sorry!" But no one said anything. Instead, I got these horrible looks from them all, and once again, I was alienated from everyone who had ever meant anything to me. Dion wouldn't even look me in the eye as he finally got back up to his feet. And Taryn....? Taryn was holding his right eye...

"I'm sorry..." I whispered, and with a sob, I headed towards the gate, and I took off running. Running so fast that it felt like I was skipping whole city blocks. Fast enough where none of them could chase me, none of them could find me, ever. I had to get away....far away.

I'm not safe to be around anybody. I AM a threat. Maybe....just maybe....

I don't deserve to survive in this world.

As I ran further and further away from home, I replayed slight flashes of what I had done, and what I MIGHT do if I ever went back. Maybe I should just...stay gone. It's better this way. At least for now.

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