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    Caz Pedroso
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  • 1,117 Words
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Prompt's for 2015 - 1. Prompt 385 - The Minor

u>Prompt: You have just finished the week from hell and just about crawl out of your car. You drag your work bag and some takeout food you picked up and schlep it toward your front door. As you reach for your keys you stop cold as you notice someone is curled up asleep on your front door step. It is obvious even from where you are standing that it is a child. Who is the minor and why are they sleeping on your door step?

Garry parked in his designated spot and heaved a sigh of relief. He ran his hand through his muddy hair and could only be thankful that the week from hell was finally over. He could now look forward to a week off and have time to catch up with things at home. He crawled out the car cursing his aching muscles and grabbed his work bag from the passenger seat. He then reached onto the back seat for the takeout he had picked up on the way home. He hadn’t felt like cooking but he knew he had to eat something.

He managed to balance everything and lock the car up before heading out of the parking lot and toward his apartment—it was just starting to rain and so he sped up. He was just going to input the door code for the main front door when he heard a snuffling noise coming from the ground by the footpath.

Taking a closer look he realized it was a young girl, maybe ten years old, and fast asleep. He watched as a small hand reached to wipe a drop of rain from her check before disappearing back under the blanket she was wrapped in.

Garry stood frozen for a few moments, what was he going to do? He couldn’t just leave her there. Who was she? Why was she here? Where were her parents?

In the end he put his food and bag down and knelt carefully next to the small bundle.

“Wake up sweetie,” he called softly, gently rocking her shoulder to try and wake her slowly.

Her hands came out the blanket again, this time to rub her eyes as she blinked up at him.

“Oh, I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” she said. “But it was a long journey.”

“Who are you little one?” Garry asked, keeping his voice low and gentle.

“I’m, Mia, and I’m nine,” she answered in that proud way only children have.

“Okay, Mia. It’s nice to meet you. I’m Garry. I need to know what you’re doing here and where your parents are.”

Garry was shocked that these simple questions caused Mia’s eyes to fill with tears.

“My momma did yesterday,” she sniffled, obviously trying valiantly not to let the tears fall. “She was in the living room when the fire started and she couldn’t get out. People tried to make me go with them but my mom had told me if anything ever happened I was to come here and ask for Gareth Monia.”

Garry was staring at her in shock, this little one had been sent to him. But why?

“I’m Garry Monia, but why would your momma send you to me?”

“Cos you’re my dad!” Mia said it as though she hadn’t just caused Garry’s world to turn inside out.

A daughter? How had he never known about this? He had only ever been with one woman and that had been an experiment on both their parts. Sherry had thought she was a lesbian but wanted to be sure and he was almost certain he was gay but had the same idea about wanting to be sure. It had been messy and sloppy and they had both ended up laughing at the end. He had lost touch with her when she had met her new partner and had moved out of the state.

Hang on fire?

“Mia, where was this fire?”

“At my house,” Mia answered.

Garry rolled his eyes, “Where is your house?”

“Oh, I lived over on Bentley Street,”

Garry’s eyes went wide, he had had a daughter living not half an hour away by car, and he hadn’t known a thing.

A sudden gust of wind reminded Garry that they were outside and a storm was brewing.

“Come on, let’s get you inside.”

They headed inside and up the stairs to Garry’s second floor apartment. Once inside Garry cranked up the thermostat and got Mia cuddled under a fresh blanket on the couch.

“Stay there, I’m just going to wash and change.”

***

In his bedroom he quickly stripped and started the shower. Before he got in he grabbed his phone and hit the speed dial.

“Lukas here. What’s your pleasure, sweetpea?” Came the soft seductive voice of his long term boyfriend.

“Lukas I need you to come home as soon as you can,” Garry said trying to keep his voice down.

“What’s happened love? I though you just got off a week of nights and were going to spend today in bed?”

“Honey you remember I told you about Sherry?”

“Oh, the lesbian you had your one and only straight sex with right?” Garry winced at his partners blunt words.

“Well her daughter is currently curled up on our couch. I found her asleep on the doorstep, she claims I’m her father and that her mother just died in a fire. What’s worst, is the fire she supposedly died in was on Bentley Street. I was at that fire with my team and I remember there being three casualties and two declared dead at the scene. There was also talk of a child that paramedics had been treating but got lost in the crowd.”

“Right give me half an hour and I’ll be home. I just need to get someone into to cover.”

***

Garry had a record quick shower and went back to the living room to find Mia had fallen right back to sleep on the couch. She looked like an angel now Garry could see her clearly. She had long blond hair tied at the back of her head, with a fair complexion—and she was sucking her thumb.

Garry sat down by her head and stroked his hand over her hair when she started to stir. As she settled he made himself comfortable and waited for Lukas to get home.

***

Lukas arrived home in record time and walked in to find Garry fast asleep on the couch, a small bundle with blond hair was curled up in his arms.

The scene was so close to one of his dearest wishes he almost started to cry.

Taking a deep breath he headed to wake his boyfriend to find out what the hell they were going to do.

***

It wasn’t as hard as they feared to find out the information they needed. Mia was actually Amelia Geraldine Fisher. Her mother Sherry Fisher had died in the fire that Garry’s team attended and he was named as the father on the birth certificate.

It took almost no time at all for custody to be transferred to him and Mia became an official part of his family.

What do you think? Continue or move on to something different?
Please
Read :read:
Enjoy :2thumbs:
Review :thankyou:
Copyright © 2018 Caz Pedroso; All Rights Reserved.
  • Like 12
Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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Chapter Comments

Since you asked for opinions about continuing or not ... I say no, I don't think that you should, at least not as a continuation of short prompt 'chapters.' Though there is creativity involved in working long stories out of strings of prompts, if one gives you a story idea, why not use it for as long as the idea holds up and be done with it. A longer story can stand alone with multiple chapters and never need to be part of a collection such as this (and still be a response to a prompt).

 

The story: It would have been nice to get a better hint of Garry's (unusual and confusing spelling for Gareth) profession in the first paragraph. Muddy hair, what can be drawn from that? The young girl wrapped up in the blanket was better imagery for the later reveal of a fire (still not aware of Garry's role: firemen? fire inspector?) and paramedics and being wrapped up in a blanket, which she took off in. We can make a connection easily. The mini epilogue at the end was unnecessary and the three lines of Lucas' arrival could have been done away with, you really wouldn't have lost anything, and the story would have been tighter. I liked that you wrote Mia as living just a short distance away. It makes the imagination conjure up events of Garry seeing her somewhere, maybe even have interacted with her. That's a good kind of clever.

  • Like 2
On 01/22/2015 01:39 PM, Ron said:
Since you asked for opinions about continuing or not ... I say no, I don't think that you should, at least not as a continuation of short prompt 'chapters.' Though there is creativity involved in working long stories out of strings of prompts, if one gives you a story idea, why not use it for as long as the idea holds up and be done with it. A longer story can stand alone with multiple chapters and never need to be part of a collection such as this (and still be a response to a prompt).

 

The story: It would have been nice to get a better hint of Garry's (unusual and confusing spelling for Gareth) profession in the first paragraph. Muddy hair, what can be drawn from that? The young girl wrapped up in the blanket was better imagery for the later reveal of a fire (still not aware of Garry's role: firemen? fire inspector?) and paramedics and being wrapped up in a blanket, which she took off in. We can make a connection easily. The mini epilogue at the end was unnecessary and the three lines of Lucas' arrival could have been done away with, you really wouldn't have lost anything, and the story would have been tighter. I liked that you wrote Mia as living just a short distance away. It makes the imagination conjure up events of Garry seeing her somewhere, maybe even have interacted with her. That's a good kind of clever.

Thanks for your comments, I always take everything into consideration and I'm always looking to improve. :)
  • Like 2
On 02/02/2015 08:03 PM, Cannd said:
this was a sweet story. I think it worked fine as a one off and for once it didn't leave me feeling like there were huge things hanging out to finish like many prompt pieces often due b/c of the word count limits. I thought this was a nice piece. I leave it to you to see if the characters really have more of a story to be told!
I may use the characters again if a prompt gets my attention. But then again I may go back to the Chapmistres characters too. We'll see
  • Like 2
On 05/03/2015 09:47 AM, redhot93 said:
I really enjoyed this story and yes you should Continue and continue it loved reading it and all your other stories you right. :*)
:thankyou: I'm glad you enjoyed this short. I may revisit these characters and rewrite this prompt into a full story.

 

But not in the near future, as I am currently working on a new world and set of characters. But :X don't tell anyone ;)

  • Like 1
On 07/30/2015 11:22 PM, Avangelion said:

Aww... sweet... it was really good, but in the end I didn't really have the need to know more :/ sadly, but well written:)

so on to the next one ...

No, I dropped this idea. At the moment I am finishing Jackson and Casey's story and then I have a sci-fi one waiting to be uploaded.

 

Glad you enjoyed it, and thanks for reviewing :)

  • Like 2
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