See Me - 5. Chapter 5: I'll Worship You

Liam looked up from his homework on his desk when he heard a knock on his window and he turned around to see a figure outside, though he couldn't tell exactly who it was. His face shifted into a look of confusion and he got up and quickly headed over and opened the window.

"Hey..." Emry smiled.

"You climbed up here?" Liam asked.

"Kind of risky...physical exertion..total seizure trigger, but I took extra medication...and it proves that I can...well, in a minute. Can I come in? I went through a lot of trouble." Emry crawled through the window. "Not to mention I could of passed out too, that was option number two out of three, which would have been just as bad, depending on how you look at it."

Liam shut the window after Emry climbed through. "I think it would have been bad either way." He looked at Emry. "What are you doing here?"

"I wasn't asleep." Emry admitted. "In the locker room...cataplexy doesn't always mean asleep, though it always looks like it." He walked closer. "I could hear everything you said and I know what you said."

Liam's eyes widened. "Emry...please forget you heard any of it. None of it should of been said, much less even thought about, not even for a second."

"Why not?" He stared up at Liam. "Because of Kane? Because of what you have to live up to?"

"Those are some reasons...sure, but not the real reasons." Liam hit the edge of his computer desk and could no longer retreat as Emry stepped closer. "You were unconscious and I was being a total creep."

"Again...technically, I was conscious, you just didn't know it." Emry reached forward and slid a hand up his chest. "You wanted me to worship you. What if I told you...I were willing to do that?"

Liam tensed up when Emry touched him, yet he could feel his arousal, not just in his pants, but it was like a tingling sensation that washed up from his waist and over his arms, his eyes remained focused on him.

He stepped closer and leaned forward, pressing his body to Liam's, that hand ran over his shoulder and along his neck as his fingers curled around the back. "No one has to ever know..." He whispered.

Liam appeared as if he were in a daze, zoned out, a million miles away, but he couldn't have been any closer to the situation than he was right now. He took in those words and his eyes shifted to gaze into Emry's and he reached up and tightly grabbed him by the shoulders, heavy breaths began to take over calm ones.

"Get down...and worship me." Liam said in a calm, soft, a whisper, yet a strong and demanding tone, as if someone else had taken him over, but that hadn't been the case, he knew exactly what he was doing.

Emry unfastened the button to Liam's jeans and slowly tugged down the zipper, his hands then slid up and fingers curled into his jeans and the black boxer briefs beneath and with a simple pull, both came off and slid down Liam's legs until they fell to his ankles as his cock jumped out free, rock hard as ever.

Liam drew in a deep breath, wondering if he would actually go through with it, what he knew more than anything is that he wanted it. His hand shifted forward and fingers slid through such short blonde strands of hair and then down and his fingers grasped Emry's chin, bringing him to look up. "Angel...such an angel..." His thumb brushed across his cheek.

Emry looked up and a small grin appeared and he brought a hand up and his fingers wrapped around the base of Liam's cock, watching the way his eyes widened in such a subtle manner, one had to really pay attention to catch it.

He began to stroke him in slow motions and then his hand stopped at the base, his mouth opened, warm breath brushing over his skin as that tongue came out and ran from base to tip in a sensual and slow lick, his eyes never straying from Liam for a second.

Liam's eyes remained focused on Emry's, trying to keep that locked gaze, enjoying the sensations of his hand slowly stroking him and then that tongue slowly drawing it's way up, he wasn't sure what was better, feeling Emry doing it or watching him.

"Get on the bed." Emry whispered, stroking Liam as he stepped back and sat on the bed. Emry followed after him and shifted slightly up and forward as Liam leaned back and propped himself up on his elbows, watching as Emry opened his mouth and then lowered down on his cock, noticing how he tried not to let anything more than hot breath touch him, at least until he felt himself hit the back of Emry's throat, then he felt warm lips surround his base, a hot and soft tongue, wrapped completely within Emry's mouth.

Emry's head began to rise and fall as he took Liam back and forth inside his mouth, his tongue slipping and sliding as it swirled about, feeling his own arousal as it grew within his own jeans and he reached down, unfastening his own jeans, reaching in so that he could begin to stroke himself.

Liam took a deep breath, his hands tightly clutching the comforter before one hand went up and he grabbed the bottom of his shirt and he pulled it up, moving his other arm so that he could toss his shirt off and away, falling back onto a single elbow, his other hand moved to the back of Emry's head and his hips gently thrusted up and forward as he came down.

For Emry, this act was new to him, he had been virgin in every sense of the word, and he was doing this for every reason that he gave to Merit, he wanted experiences, at the same time, Liam had made him curious, not to mention he had crushed on him from the very first time he saw him, and now it was finally happening, he had this guys cock in his mouth, and he loved the feeling, he loved every inch of it as Liam thrusted himself deep into his throat.

Liam had his own reasons, though this was just as new for him, and shocking even. He had always considered himself a straight guy, he had never been attracted to another male, and then Emry came into his life. The puzzling thing was, and what made him question everything is the fact that not even Emry had attracted him, not until he saw him so vulnerable for the taking on the locker room floor, and now it seemed that attraction remained.

Liam wondered if it was something similar for Trillian? Or maybe the guy had been bisexual all along, it wasn't like he knew him all that well or was friends with him. He couldn't care at the moment though. He had this beautiful boy wrapped around him, this kid which he had deemed the title of 'Angel' was taking every inch of him so deep down and it felt amazing.

A loud groan escaped him and his elbows gave out as he fell flat against the bed, fingers curled tightly into such short blonde strands and he managed to pull at them as he pushed forward with his hips and forced Emry down with a strength he probably shouldn't of used and he came, releasing every thing he had, blowing his load, shooting down his throat and then flooding his mouth as his hips lowered and then thrusted again.

Emry's face scrunched up at how rough Liam had become, yet he loved it as it made him feel all the more wanted and it translated to him the message that he had done a good job. He shut his eyes tight as he felt that load of warm cum filling his mouth, drinking it as much as he could as Liam literally started to face fuck him within the seconds of his orgasm ending, that was when he relaxed. Emry remained as he was, making sure he swallowed everything.

"Fuck..." Liam breathed heavily and he looked up at the ceiling. Liam's gaze would soon be blocked by the sight of Emry crawling onto the bed, slightly leaning over the top of him.

Emry looked down at him and he opened his mouth and ever so slowly that tongue worked it's way around his lips before a smile appeared. "Glad you let me in?"

Liam's head slightly rolled to the side and he looked up at Emry. "That...it was great." He reached up and pulled Emry down by the collar of his shirt and slowly kissed him, broken a moment later, he took a deep breath. "You didn't get off..."

Emry laid down beside Liam after the kiss was broken and lightly rubbed his chest. "That's okay...it's a torture tease, to make myself want it and need it so bad...that when it happens, it will feel so great." He looked up at Liam. "I want my orgasm fucked out of me."

He grinned at Emry and rolled over onto his side. "That's an interesting way to look at it. So...when it happens, you don't want to be touched...you want it fucked out of you?"

"Yeah." Emry nodded, his thoughts momentarily straying to what might happen after and then he decided not to worry about it for now. "That's how I want it to be."

"Do you...want to spend the night? We'll put something on...of course, and I can sleep on top of the covers." Liam shifted up onto his elbow. "I get this feeling you didn't come to go all the way."

"I would like to spend the night." Emry shook his head. "And no...I didn't come to go all the way...and next time I do this to you...I'm going to make you beg for it, I can...worship a little better than that...I was just...excited."

"We'll see." Liam grinned and pushed himself up and away from the bed as he grabbed his boxer briefs and then moved to gather his clothes and walked off to the bathroom, lightly kicking the door shut behind him.

Liam walked into the bedroom with a wooden tray and he looked over to find Emry sitting up, stripped of all of his clothes as he had ended up the previous night. "Surprise...breakfast."

"Surprise...I'm awake." He smiled at Liam.

"Surprise...you're beautiful." Liam had meant that, he had never seen anyone like Emry, it was as if adolescence had almost no effect on him at all, only effecting him in just the right ways, thankfully granting him the ability of sex, yet at the same time he was blessed by what Liam could only think of as eternal youth, no body hair, smooth and perfected skin, a voice that was light and beautiful, angelic and innocent.

A late bloomer? That was Liam's theory, and he wondered just how long Emry would be able to hold onto those qualities, in a way, the thought of such losses by age would be a shame. For now though, he only wanted to be in the moment. He carried the tray over and sat it down, sitting on the other side, across from Emry, on the tray was a microwave able breakfast.

"I know...but I can't cook." Liam chuckled.

"Are you kidding?" Emry grinned. "This is like a feast...imagine cereal every morning." He grabbed the fork that was set up beside the plastic tray.

He looked at Emry with a puzzled expression. "Okay...I get the crappy mom...but you said you had a sister and a dad, are they crappy too?"

"Lana is my sister." Emry said before taking a bite. "You all call her the drifter, there is a reason, she makes as many friends as possible so that she can always stay gone without wearing out her welcome, she literally is a drifter, only stays home when there is no other option."

Liam's eyebrows lifted. "Really a drifter..." He slowly nodded. "And your dad? Please tell me he's not a crappy stereotype..."

"No." Emry shook his head. "He goes out of his way to work all of the time, he only stays with my mom partly to keep our family together, for me and Lana, and because part of him feels sorry for her, doesn't mean he likes being there." He shrugged. "So, he works and..when they run out of hours for him, he heads to the bar and drinks."

"A drunk..."

Emry shook his head. "Wait." He interrupted Liam. "He goes to the bar and drinks until two in the morning, manages to get home and he always comes to my room because he knows if my lamp light is on, I am there waiting, and he's done this for as long as I can remember. He'll come in and sit beside me, he'll stare, won't say a thing, he knows his eyes says everything that I need to know. He tucks me in...and he goes off to bed."

Liam stared at Emry thoughtfully. "I'm not quite sure what to make of that...if it's sad or if it's happy."

He sat his fork down and he shrugged. "Maybe both?" He picked up the tray and sat it aside and shifted closer to Liam. "Do you...regret last night?"

"No..." Liam shook his head. "Do you regret it? And...do you regret letting me see you?"

"No." Emry slightly smiled. "It's weird...when I was first with Merit, I felt like I was there like I was supposed to be but...it was awkward because it felt like it was supposed to be, like there was no other way. I mean, I tried, and maybe to some level I did..."

"Wait, so Merit is..." Liam trailed off.

"Yes...and Siera caught us, He isn't open to any other school people." He frowned. "You can't tell, technically I was supposed to keep that secret but...what I'm going to say won't make sense otherwise."

Liam brought his hand up and brought a zipper motion across his lips with his hand and then his smile returned.

"Anyway...then I did what I did at the party, I just...wanted to stir things up, for once...do something wild and crazy myself." He shrugged. "So, I let go...and I knew exactly what to do and...had I had a little chance with luck, it would have been perfect. Sure...I got the worst of the beating...but the weapon of choice was damn original." He shook his head.

Liam nodded and grabbed Emry's glass of coke and took a small sip. "So, then the cafeteria...How did that happen?"

"Well, Trillian came to visit me in the hospital and..." Emry shrugged. "Honestly I think on his end...the whole thing was about neglect and...unlike Asia...I made him feel wanted. So, I kind of went with it, in a way I liked him, but I don't think it was more than just liking him."

He looked up at Liam. "Now I'm here and...I feel like I belong here, and it feels natural, not because of circumstance or ulterior motive...just because it is...and you are and I am, we're here, and it's just...right." His eyes watered up at that point.

"Emry, I'm not even sure where this..." Liam looked down. "I've never looked at another guy until you..." He took his hand and then he looked up. "I still don't...I mean...I laid in bed last night...just visualizing guys in my head, call it mental porn if you want." He shook his head. "And...I didn't feel any different about it..." He shrugged. "It's just you."

He looked down at their hands. "Isn't that all that matters? Is that it's me? And for me that...it's you?" He paused and then he shrugged. "Okay...so you're not gay...and maybe not even bisexual and just...for whatever reason I'm some kind of condition, for us...that should be all that matters."

"You make it sound so simple." He shook his head and looked at Emry. "It doesn't bother you at all? I mean...what if it clicked off? Or went away? What if whatever it is...whatever makes it happen...makes it go away? Whatever it is. Technically unless I'm attracted to guys...I'm straight, you would be with a straight guy that makes an exception for you for a reason that...is so beyond me, I don't..." He trailed off.

Emry tilted his head to the side. "You don't...have any idea?"

"Actually...maybe I do have an idea.." Liam pulled his hand away from Emry's as he took on a look of horror.

"What is it?" Emry looked confused and reached up and lightly shoved Liam in the shoulder.

"It's you." Liam looked at him. "I know that's obvious to you." He frowned. "It's not just that..." He paused and stared at him thoughtfully. "Emry...do you ever wonder why you...seem to develop late? Has it ever bothered you? Or made you wonder?"

He sat there and after a pause of thought, he shook his head. "Uh...no." He grabbed the plastic fork and stuck it in his mouth and pulled it back out to clean it of any food. He looked up. "Dolph always said guys were into that sort of thing...the younger you look, the better, and if you can hang onto that and be legal, it's awesome." His eyes shifted down and he fiddled with the fork.

"He might just be right." Liam mumbled. "Thing is, Emry...the kind of guys who like that, most of the time...they're like fucking old as hell."

"You're not." Emry said, looking up at him. "Look, it's obvious you are holding something back, like there is something you want to say but you aren't. It's okay if you don't want to tell me for whatever reason, but why should that interfere with anything?"

"Because, if I want you just because...well, if I don't care about you as a person." Liam got off the bed and sighed, running a hand through his hair.

His eyes widened as he stared at Liam and he stood up and walked across the room and around to stand in front of him. "Look, you care about me...if you didn't...you wouldn't of helped me out of the shower, you wouldn't of told Merit that you weren't heartless."

"And what about everything else? People...school...everything? If you thought Kane would be a problem with Merit, I'm twice as close to Kane." Liam frowned.

"I don't care...I can take whatever he can give, I already have...and if I'm strong enough to do that, so are you." He shook his head. "You did horrible things to me, and I crushed on you anyway, and I asked myself why I did, how I could, and then last night happened and suddenly crushed seemed like the most childish way to describe it, especially after I knew what it felt like to be in your arms."

He reached out and lightly shoved Liam back. "Stand there and deny me...See if you can do it." Tears ran down his face by this point.

Liam stumbled back after taking in that ear full of words and he stared at Emry and for several moments, all he could do was stand there. He then stepped forward and he grabbed him by the upper arms and pulled him closer. "You're not fair...you make saying no so very hard for me." He started to lean forward.

"Then don't say it..." Emry said, teeth clenched before his eyes drifted shut and their lips met and he stepped forward, his hands ran up Liam's chest and shoulders, arms wrapped around his neck as he lifted up on his tip toes and the kiss deepened, feeling Liam's stronger arms wrap around his waist, pulling him closer.

"Yo! Liam! I've been outside! Where the hell are you?" Kane's voice rang through the house.

Liam quickly broke the kiss and his eyes shot open. "Crap...teenage car pool." He mumbled and then looked around. "Uh...yeah! Um...mom forgot to put away the laundry! I'm digging! Be right there!"

Emry eased back, feeling his heart skip a beat and he wanted to collapse right there in a fit of tears as Liam lied and covered them up for the first time, not even shocked or scared by the fact that Kane was even there.

"Emry...just go sit in the closet and...uh..." Liam turned around, trying to figure out how to get him to school, Talia and Siera might ask why he was even there, in fact they most definitely would ask questions.

"Just go...before your cover is blown...I'll figure it out." Emry walked towards the closet and opened it up and stepped inside and pulled the door shut, letting the darkness surround him as he lowered down to sit on the floor. He laid back and swore he could just fall asleep. Maybe he should? Would Liam feel guilty if he did?

Emry managed to make it to school, thanks to the help of Trillian, who didn't ask questions about where he was or why he was there. He didn't even act like he knew it was Liam's house, though he imagined that Trillian wouldn't know such a thing. "Through the lands of God's and Monster's, I was an Angel, looking to get fucked hard."

Emry sat on the edge of the stage in the auditorium, singing softly in that tenor voice, keeping it nice and soft. He skipped a few parts and went on to the next."You got that medicine that I need. Dope, shoot it up, straight to the heart please. I don't really want to know what's good for me."

That was when the sound of a single person's two hands clapping could be heard and Emry twisted around to see Jesse coming around from behind the stage. His eyebrows lifted and he made no move to speak or even get up.

"An angel? Maybe with that voice...unfortunately...I'm not in a position to fuck you." Jesse walked over and sat beside Emry.

"That...was a pathetic pick up not pick up line." He grinned and shook his head. "What do you want?"

"Well, you don't know me well and I don't know you, but I am a bit of a musician, I work best with computers and I DJ sometimes, though I've never had a singer work with any of my stuff, I've always wanted one." Jesse expressed.

"Maybe." He looked down and fiddled with his fingers in his lap. "I'm just kind of in a down mood right now."

"Why?" He asked.

"I think I did something that I shouldn't of done." He looked up at Jesse. "And now I think I'm going to be a dirty little secret that...rather than being swept under the rug, I get kicked in the closet."

He stared at Emry thoughtfully and then shook his head. "That will only happen if you let it happen. You can't take back what you did, but you can control what you do."

Emry stared straight ahead and then he leaned over to the side and he laid down and twisted at the waist, half rolling over onto his back. "Maybe...but part of me doesn't want to."

"Then whatever happens...will happen." Jesse looked over at Emry. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah...I think, I probably should of stayed in the closet, in the literal sense. I felt like sleep and...I feel like sleep again." He closed his eyes, trying to let them rest while not letting go. "I'm still here..."

That was when another set of footsteps walked along the stage. "Jesse.." Trillian's voice rang forth and then he looked over at Emry. "Is he..."

"I'm awake." Emry opened his eyes and he looked up at Trillian. "It's weird...I felt so sleepy and...now I kind of don't...I guess my eyes just needed a rest."

"Well...you were at that other house, did you even have your meds?" Trillian knelt down beside him. "Who's house was that anyway?"

"It doesn't matter." Emry pushed himself to sit up.

Jesse looked between the two. "Okay...well that's my cue, a little irony on stage." He pushed himself to stand up. "Emry...please keep everything I said in mind...I would love a singer to go with my tunes." His hands went up to his chest dramatically. "I would be forever grateful and in your debt, seriously." He took several steps back and then headed off behind the stage.

Trillian waited until Jesse's steps faded into nothing more and then he looked over at Emry. "There's something I need to talk to you about and...I didn't want to do it this morning because...it was all so sudden and I wanted to give it some serious thought." He paused. "Wait..we should get your meds, I mean...you could have a seizure."

"It's okay...I think I am aware of my triggers." Emry held up a hand. "What did you need to talk to me about?"

"Okay, triggers...sure, but they could be random too and..." Trillian sighed. "I'm avoiding my topic, but still...it's a concern."

"Mr. Stetson keeps an emergency supply, ever since I did it that one time, I figured, we figured it was a smart idea. I promise I'll pick some up before next period." Emry smiled. "I love that you're so concerned. Now please tell me what is going on."

"I'm leaving." Trillian said, figuring it was better to simply come out with it.

"Leaving?" Emry wasn't clueless, he knew what that kind of statement meant. "Where?"

Trillian could tell by the way Emry looked that he was not at all happy with it, in fact he could tell that his heart was breaking. "New York." His eyes shifted down. "I know some guys up there and...I have the opportunity for a place to stay, a guy is going to let me crash at his place, get me a job, I'll be renting an apartment with him."

Emry was more than heartbroken, he was crushed. He could feel the pressure building around his eyes as they watered up, the threat to cry growing near. "Why?"

"Because...I have to get out of here." He shook his head. "I hate it here...I hate this no where life. I have to get out...and go somewhere, a place where there are possibilities."

"And me? What about me?" Emry asked, tears falling from his eyes.

"Who's house was that?" He looked over at Emry. "That wasn't yours."

Emry closed his eyes and he took a deep breath. "It was Liam's..." He shook his head and he looked up. "Trillian...we didn't sleep together, what little did happen, it was a mistake." He shifted closer and grabbed his leather jacket. "You weren't...and you aren't."

Trillian would have taken a moment to roll in the surprise of Emry and Liam, however there were more important things to him than caring about Liam's sexuality. "If that's true...why would you do it?"

"Just...there were things going on with Liam, he was baiting me." Emry frowned. "I know that sounds pathetic, I took the bite...but I had to know the truth, I had to see where it lead and..I thought it lead to a good place, but it left me somewhere very dark."

"What if it had left you in a good place? What would you have done with me?" Trillian asked, only a hint of anger in his voice, he needed to know. "Emry...I don't know the deal with Liam, I thought he was straight and as hater as they come, I know I've been straight...and maybe bicurious, being why I decided to play with you at the party...but you pushed it further when you wanted to see me after that." Trillian added.

"I would of done the right thing." Emry frowned. "Trillian...we haven't, we didn't even define what we were. We danced at a party, I did it intending to piss Asia off, I wanted to fight her, I knew I'd get my ass kicked, I knew the risks and I took them because I wanted to be someone."

"You're someone to me!" Trillian raised his voice, leaning closer to Emry.

It was then that he started to cry. "Then why are you leaving me?"

"Because.." He shook his head. "I can't give you a good answer, because there isn't one." He reached up and placed a hand on Emry's cheek, brushing a tear away with his thumb.

Emry reached up and wrapped his hand around Trillian's wrist. "Don't go..."

"I have to, I might not ever have this opportunity again." He leaned forward and kissed Emry on the forehead. "I had Jesse come first on purpose, he wanted to see you for his own reasons. We're not close...but I know him enough, I've asked him to watch over you."

Emry softly cried, knowing if he pushed too much that he could trigger an attack. His hand fell from Trillian's wrist. "You are the only one I feel...that makes me really feel and that...I feel I can do anything. You make me strong...and brave and..."

"Shh..." Trillian shook his head. "You did what you did at the party all on your own, I was simply the prop." He slightly smiled and leaned forward and lightly kissed Emry. "You can do anything you want, imagine it, wish it, dream it...and then want it." He pulled his hand away.

Emry sniffled and wiped tears from his face as he watched Trillian get up and head off in the same direction Jesse had taken off in, being left with such inspirational and beautiful words, by such a loving and gentle voice, Trillian could be so bad and so tough, yet behind it all was a soul that made darkness look like love and danger look like fun. To Emry, he was like the diamond in the rough. He was someone who he could have possibly loved, for all of those qualities and so much more.

Thoughts remained on Trillian, Emry had just been left with a darkness that brought so much pain and hurt. He looked down and that was when he let himself go, his hand slid across the floor and his arm stretched out and Emry fell to his side, his eyes fluttered and off to dream land he went.

"Mom? Are you coming?" Lana turned around after she reached the bottom steps of the single-wide and she looked at Jessica.

"Yeah...give me time, damn." Jessica walked down the steps, careful not to trip as she shrugged her pink fur coat on and then ran her hand through bright blonde hair. "Lets go."

"If you weren't high you could drive yourself." Lana almost laughed, picturing the sight of their mother falling down the steps. She headed around to the drivers side and unlocked the door.

"Shut up, I'll buy you something for your time, damn!" Jessica fell down into the passenger seat and shoved a piece of pink bubble gum in her mouth. "Do I look good? I'm broke...so I'm going to have to fuck for this stash."

Lana looked over at her mother. "Seriously? So I'm going to have to sit out there and wait?" She rolled her eyes and then pressed the gas and kicked up dirt as she drove away from the trailer, annoyed and angered by this. "You better let him pound you and fake a fucking orgasm if you have to or I'm leaving you!"

By the time Lana and Jessica drove away, Miki pulled up in front of the trailer and pressed the break. "Better than a taxi?"

"Better..." Emry sighed. "I would of asked Talia...but I still don't think Siera is too happy with me." He shook his head. "Thanks, I know we aren't really friends or anything."

"Are you really friends with them?" Miki looked over at him and she grinned. "I kind of think you take after your sister. You go to the party, mix with Justin, that's after hooking up with Merit, socially speaking, then you end up with Trillian, no matter the reason, but that was to make enemies with Asia."

Emry grinned. "Sounds like I'm doing a bang up job with a social life." He shrugged. "I don't really know, up until I met Merit...I only ever had one friend and...I haven't even been around him since the party and everything."

She nodded. "Well, I think you've put yourself in a position to belong where ever you want, save for Siera, Liam, Kane and Asia, I think you could have friends."

"Liam..." He mumbled. "Yeah, you're probably right. Thanks for the ride." He climbed out of the car and headed towards the trailer as Miki drove off, heading inside.

"Every time the darkness falls around me. I can feel you move beneath my skin..." Emry mumbled as he headed down the hall. "This love is more than chemical, it feels unusual, I can't get enough..." He pushed through the door, heading into his room.

It was then that Athen stepped out of the bathroom and right into the door way of Emry's room and he grinned. "How would you know?"

Emry stopped and turned around, seeing Athen. "Know what?"

"That you can't get enough? When you've never had." He grinned and shook his head and walked further inside, reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a bag with pills inside.

"Your mom was getting ready to make a big sale, Lana tricked her into the bedroom and I took a majority of the stash, then she dragged Lana off to make a buy, since she was high and couldn't drive." He further explained.

Emry stared at him. "So, you helped save my medicine? And how many points do you think that wins?" He walked over and reached for the bag.

Athen yanked his hand back and up to keep Emry from getting the bag. "As many as I want...If you want these, that is."

Emry frowned. "I'm not in the mood." He turned around and fell down to sit on the edge of the bed. "You have to give them to me when Lana gets back." He paused. "And you know that's cold, knowing I need them...Are you really that serious about fucking around?"

"Yeah, if I said I wanted to do it." Athen pushed away from the door and shoved the bag into his back pocket as he walked closer to the bed and he crossed his arms, tilting his head to the side. "What's wrong?"

He frowned and his eyes closed. "I just feel so out of it..." He looked up at Athen. "Even if I were willing, right now...I would not even be good at it..if I turn out to be at all." He looked down.

"Emry...I'm not a bad guy." He sat down beside him. "Does it have to be evil to want to try something? To have an idea...and to like it? I don't know what you think of me and Lana but...we don't consider ourselves an epic love story, we enjoy each other, we date...and yeah we mess around, but we're not planning our future and going through college and buying a house and..." He shook his head.

"So, what? She would be cool if you did it?" He looked at Athen.

"I'm not saying that, it would be a lame idea if it wasn't risky, that takes all the fun and the taboo away. Just that...I'm not a jerk, if we were both madly in love, I would never do that to her, but we know that we probably won't last the summer, not once I go away to college, so I'm doing what we do with it, having fun, and part of that fun for me, is you."

"So you can't break what's already broken." Emry nodded, understanding the idea. "So don't feel guilty." He nodded and looked at Athen. "It's not that, I mean...I guess it would be fun, I guess on some level...just today of all days is a bad day."

"Who put you in a bad mood? Tell me who I have to beat up." He slightly grinned.

"Trillian." Emry looked over at him and then he shook his head. "He's going away, leaving and going to New York, got some kind of opportunity there, would rather be there."

"What about Merit? I thought that was who you liked."

Emry looked down and slowly reached over and took Athen's hand. "I do like him, I did...and then it got all confusing." He looked up. "Suddenly the idea of being with him feels like such a huge commitment. It's like a do it forever...and I'm not sure if I'm ready for forever. At the same time, I had strong feelings for Trillian too...and even..." He shook his head. "I don't know, I guess I just want to have different experiences before I really settle for one."

Athen smiled and ran his thumb over the top of his hand. "That's how it should be for you, I mean, there shouldn't be so much pressure, just feel and be in the moment and don't worry about crap, that's what you do when you're really grown up and...you don't have long before you're there."

"At the same time, you could take this with me and we could go on with it, drag it out, have the fun. Sometimes that's all anything needs to be, fun, and it can feel strong and passionate, just because it does, that doesn't mean you automatically have to call it love, it's attraction, sometimes you're in love with the rush and the thrill and instead you confuse it with the person." Athen chuckled.

Emry looked up at Athen and a small smile appeared. "That makes a lot of sense, in a way, it really does make a lot of sense. I guess...with some people it's easier to see than others. With Trillian, it was about fun, but then it eventually felt like I cared more than I thought."

"Maybe that is what it was. Fun and then care, doesn't have to mean it was madly in love and full on commitment. Obviously it didn't mean that to him, if it did, he couldn't possibly leave you." Athen reached up and his fingers curled around the back of Emry's neck.

He leaned forward and his eyes drifted shut as his lips brushed along Athen's and then he pressed forward as the two shared a gentle kiss and a moment later, Emry slowly pulled back and he opened his eyes to find Athen staring back at him. "I just kissed my sisters boyfriend...I'm a real bitch."

Athen grinned. "Sometimes being the bitch can be fun, I bet smacking Asia with that controller felt good, or would of if you hadn't gotten hit first."

"Yeah...I was actually hurting pretty bad, the feel good of doing it came at the hospital." He grinned and then he looked around. "Thanks for...the chat, but really...I'm still not good company right now."

"Okay...I can respect that, the wait will just make it even better, who knows...maybe the situation will be even riskier." Athen pulled his hand back and he got up and pulled the bag out of his pocket and tossed it on the bed. "Hide those well or keep them near." He gave Emry a two finger salute and walked out of the room.

Merit stood in his room and stared at the piece of paper that Emry had left, part of him wanted to tear it into bits and pieces, make it be the way he felt, the way he had felt since he had left, yet he couldn't bring himself to do it. He sighed and folded the paper just before hearing a knock on his door.

"Who is it?" He spoke up, laying the paper on the night stand by his bed.

"It's me." Liam opened the door. "Your mom let me in on her way out, said I could come in."

Merit turned around, tears staining his face. "What do you want?"

Liam stared at Merit. "I guess...to talk about what I imagine that you're crying about."

"And how would you know what upsets me? You don't know." He shook his head.

"I think I do." Liam walked in and shut the door. "Emry came to my house last night..." He started. "And you probably don't want to hear this...but I hope it brings you some comfort that you can talk to me...that maybe we can talk to each other."

"He told you?" Merit turned and looked at him.

"He didn't mean to, it slipped, he was trying to explain something to me and...it slipped out." He paused. "What's crazy about it all is that...something happened."

"Something happened?" Merit stared at him. "What did you do?"

"We didn't have sex...not all the way...he just..." Liam shook his head. "You know..." He shrugged. "It feels degrading to say it, you get what I mean."

Merit's eyes narrowed. "Let me get this straight, I told you that he crushed on you and...despite being as much or almost as much of a hater as Kane...you decided to take advantage of him?"

"I wasn't taking advantage of him!" Liam snapped. "I...well, it was his idea!" He spoke up in defense. "Merit...I had no idea...that I would or could ever do something like that..and then I did and...I'm thrown, I don't understand, imagine having everything you thought, all of it, tossed."

"And it took Emry giving you a good time to do that?" Merit walked forward and shoved Liam back into the door. "It took him doing that to make you uh..what? Realize you like guys?! Liam...I think you are awfully confused first of all! There is a difference between sexual gratification and sexual identity! You only liked what he did for you."

He fell back against the door and then shoved Merit back. "Yeah?! And what is he to you? There is some reason he thought he loved you and can't get away fast enough!"

"Rub it in....rub that in." Merit reached up and wiped his eyes. "Well, you know...maybe we're both guilty on the same wave length because...maybe it took Emry to make me realize I wasn't what I thought."

"That's denial...and you know it." Liam stared at him. "You were hurt and now you want to change yourself because if it can't be him, you don't want to be happy with anyone else."

"What do you care? What do you fucking care?"

"I care because once upon a time, you were my friend." Liam frowned and pushed away from the door. "And you know, we both have something to question together, Trillian."

"Trillian?" Merit almost laughed. "Technically he is with Trillian! That's how it looks! And as far as I'm concerned, I have nothing to question with you, Liam. You were the hypocrite, you're the one coming here telling me that Emry made your life change forever in such a dramatic way...which...oh my god, that is so dramatic!"

"You know..maybe Emry is better off without you..." Liam paused. "And I'm not saying I have him, because as you so pointed out, he is with Trillian. Though...given everything happening, I guess...maybe I had hoped for your support with Kane."

"Like you would of supported me?" Merit shook his head. "I'm living exactly as Kane wants..."

Liam turned around, hearing the door open and saw Siera step inside. "Bad time?" She asked.

"Never." He looked up. "Liam was just leaving."

He looked between Siera and his eyes stopped on Merit. "Piece of work..." He waved his arms out and then headed off and walked by Siera and headed out of the room.

"He's mad..." She sighed and walked over to Merit and sat the bottle of champagne on the corner of his computer desk. "Merit...thanks for seeing me." She said, turning to pour the glasses.

He looked up and managed a smile. "Yeah...and don't worry about him, just blowing steam." Merit took his drink and sat on his bed. He then took a sip of his own drink.

Siera walked over and sat beside him. "Okay...so I'm not stupid. Asia calls me a blow up bitch...but I have more inside of me than air."

Merit grinned. "Girl drama...can't say it doesn't amuse me a little."

"Jerk." Siera playfully slapped his arm. "Anyway, as I was saying, you don't go from being gay and then changing and...what not." She stared at him. "I know that is why you need the alcohol, and Merit...I still care about you, that never stopped, none of us ever stopped for me, the only thing that changed was our status."

He looked over at her and nodded as he listened. "Yeah.."

"So, given all of that, if you want, if you are dedicated, if you've chosen the kind of life you want and that includes me, I am willing to go through that door with you, walk that road, take on those struggles. However..."

She lifted a hand. "In order for it to work, you always have to be open and honest, everything you feel, even if it seems insignificant, I have to know. Think of me as a diary you would write in, I have to know because otherwise I can't take these steps with you."

"I understand." He slowly nodded. "Siera...I just want everything to go back to how it used to be, it was simple...and to know that we can try and that I can express everything, it's such a relief...I wish I could of done that before."

She reached over and rubbed his back. "Well, now you can, no matter what it is." She smiled and lifted her glass up. "Now drink, you said you needed it and...I know why." She took a sip, watching Merit take a sip soon after.