Someone Like Me - 9. Chapter 9

The instructions were received well by one ear, only for them to be flown out the other. Honestly, I didn't care for the work set before my science class. I had a far more pressing urges to worry about, more important than studying about the blood/oxygen process between the heart and lungs.

My ears heard the rattle and shuffle of books being opened and pages being turned. But I also detected the quiet and utterly discreet snap of multiple apertures closing in on themselves, inside the cell-phone cameras of others.

My fingers danced with tension as I put all the effort I could muster in ignoring the fact that right now, the eyes of most the girls here in this classroom were directed point blank at me, and so were their cameras, also how they would take all those blurry, sneaky photos of me and post them on Facebook and every other popular social network for the world to admire.

It was something that dumped me in a pool of uneasiness. I nearly couldn't take it. Imagine me, an online celebrity, only that I'm not on any online social network. Apart from my email, which I did not want to share at all.

These thoughts dabbled in my mind as I read the notes and copied them. The limited level of classroom noise did little to obscure the heavy exhale escaping from Monica's nostrils as she sat beside me. Distracted by this, I looked at her from the side. A grin was plastered on her face as if she'd just witnessed the funniest thing ever in a strictly quiet library. She had a hand clasped over her mouth as her thumb hovered over the screen of her phone.

"What is it?" I asked in a low murmur.

Monica's eyes sparkled gleefully as she shifted her gaze from the screen to me. At first, I was nothing but confused until she turned the screen of her phone at me. It was a picture of some hot, tanned, shirtless and inexplicably ripped guy at the beach. The only detail that stood out was his face which was replaced with a photoshopped version of another.

It was me.

Behind me, I heard a few gasps and snickers as people saw me look at this picture for the first time. Obviously, they had seen it before me.

It hit me, and it hit me fast. The anxiety, the panic, the dread. Combined with fear and confusion, I was being thrown into a pot of boiling oil. And I was sinking. I put my hands to my head, and started breathing uncontrollably, conscious of Monica next to me, conscious of the teacher, conscious of everyone else in this room...

"Jordan...?" Monica gently rested her hand on my arm.

I grabbed it earnestly. "I can't take this anymore!"

Monica looked closely at the utter fear on my face. She saw how badly I was taking this. Her smile had been wiped away and was replaced with concern.

"We'll talk about this after class." She said, looking into my eye.

The sound of a phone camera clicked behind us. I looked behind me to the class. I wish I hadn't.

They were more eager and persistent than yesterday. Yesterday, only a few were taking discreet shots of me. Today, it seemed as if that number quadrupled. Girls had their phones out in the open, pointed at me directly. Even some boys were doing the same! Meanwhile, Mr Oh took no notice as he drew a diagram on the whiteboard, back facing the class.

"This is even worse than yesterday." Monica commented.

I scanned the class. Girls who saw me do this started making phone gestures and were mouthing 'Call me!'. My pan finished at the boy at the far edge of the room. Lain Gordon was a complete imitation of the girls who held the phones out, pointing them at me.

"Right class!" Mr Oh suddenly announced, causing all cellphones to vanish in an instant. "Copy this diagram out by your notes. I have to go to the staff room for a minute but I'll be back shortly."

Uh-oh.

Even if it was for only a minute, I was sure as hell gonna get swarmed by these crazy girls. As Mr. Oh walked out the door, I closed my eyes and braced myself for impact. For the first three seconds, the room remained silent, then it was instant banter as people began talking and yelling at each other. In amongst that chaos, a girl emerged from behind me and stopped by my desk. I looked up at her smiling face. She was blonde and wore bangle earrings.

"Hi! Are you new here?" She said, flicking her hair.

I nodded and gave a polite yet forced smile in return.

"Cool. My name's Haley."

The name connected with a part of my memory as if someone had plugged in the cord in the socket. I instantly knew who she was, the very same person who wanted me to be her 'lab partner.' I pretended not to know this for now. I noticed to my side that Monica seemed to act very interested in our greeting.

"Mine is Jordan." I said.

Haley looked like she was about to say I know but she stopped herself. Instead she asked a question.

"Where are you from?"

I replied, "New York."

"Wow, I've always wanted to go there! What's it like?"

"Busy and colorful." I said. "We moved here though because of my parents needing less demanding jobs.”

She nodded, looking thoroughly interested but it seemed fake to me. I know what she's doing, she's getting her in's. I should stop this, it's making me nervous.

Just then, my phone chimed. A new text message.

"Sorry, I've just gotta check this out..." I said, pulling out the phone.

"NO, don't worry about it!" Haley suddenly reacted.

Too late, I'd read the text on my screen from an unknown contact.

[H wants to go out with you]

Oh no. I looked back up at Haley who blushed and flicked her hair again. Monica read the text message and gasped.

"Is...is this true?" I asked Haley.

"Um....yeah, it is. You're hot."

Oh God what the hell do I do?

"Thank you class!" Mr. Oh's voice suddenly boomed.

Haley frantically dove back to her seat. Monica straightened up. The whole class pretended that they had still been working. Mr. Oh looked suspiciously at us and the class laughed.

"Back to work thanks." He said.

I sighed and thanked the almighty God for saving my ass. But I knew this wouldn't be over and Haley would be in my face again. I glanced at the clock. Twenty minutes left of the period.

"Monica." I whispered,

She turned away from her work."What?"

"You have to help me."

"What's wrong?"

I was about to speak when I noticed the teacher glancing in our direction with a scowl brooding on his face. I remembered how he humiliated us yesterday with us passing notes so I sent Monica a text. I knew her number because she was displaying it on her phone which lay on the desk.

[I don't like Haley! Hlp me, don't know wat 2 do.]

Monica's phone whistled. She picked it up and texted back.

[R u outta yr mind? She's 1 of the most popular girls at this school. Everyone loves her.]

Great. So much for the help.

I began to text back a reply when Mr. Oh interrupted me. "Jordan, I'm not a fool. Stop texting your girlfriend Monica and get back to work."

"I don't have a girlfriend." I answered back almost immediately.

If the class hadn't been concentrating on me before, they certainly were now. I felt some regret for saying that out loud because if everyone knew that I was single, then Haley wouldn't just be the only one to be on to me like a vampire to blood. And it didn't help that I made the teacher more annoyed too.

"Speak back to me again and it's principal's office. Got it?" Mr. Oh warned.

"O-okay, sorry." I stammered.

I felt like an idiot now. Why did I have to let everybody know about my relationship status? Way to go, Jordan. I bet I'm on track to becoming as straight as an arrow. But I don't want to be on that track! I want to be on the track where I become gay and everyone accepts that. And hopefully the one where someone like me will emerge and bring me the earth itself in an embrace of love and affection...

I didn't quite expect it to slap the side of my head. Startled, I turned to the person who'd done it, Monica.

"What was that for?" I hissed.

She pointed to the teacher. He was glaring at me so sourly as if I'd practically pulled the finger at him.

"Mr. Oh doesn't like daydreamers." Monica said.

I protested. "I was not!"

She nodded and mouthed you were. I sighed and glanced at the clock again. Fourteen minutes left. If Haley or any other girl doesn't kill me in that time, Mr. Oh certainly will.

What is up with this school anyway? Strict teachers, screaming girls and super hot boys (I'm not complaining about that part) are dominating the scene. It's so much different from New York where the teachers didn't care, the girls were normal and more boys were less than pretty. My old school in New York seemed so dull and bleak compared to this joint. I can tell you with certainty that it is not normal for people to become the paparazzi when a cute, new face turns up. What is up with these crazy goons? Snapping pictures like life is just one big Instagram. Haven't they got enough sneaky pics of me anyway? Seriously, they have pics for Africa.

Thankfully, nothing else happened in science period. No more of the teacher's embarrassment schemes. No more mystery contact text messages. No more Haley in my face. It was the best feeling to have the bell ring at the end of third period.

I bolted.

Girls starting screaming, "WAIT!"

Even Monica called after me. But I knew if I stuck around, Haley and a bunch of other girls would be on to me for a killing. I didn't even know which class I had next, but it didn't matter, as long as I got away from everyone!

I pushed my way past other students, apologizing profusely. "Sorry....excuse me, sorry....sorry..."

I knew that Haley would be marching her way out of science right now, which meant I had to put a lot of distance between her and me. In seconds, I was now a fair distance away, about thirty feet. I stole a fleeting glance behind me, and found Haley already at the classroom doorway with some girl, scanning the crowd. Undoubtedly, they were after me. I cursed as the blasted girl's eyes locked with mine, even if it was only for an instant. But as the girl began to notion Haley towards me, I had already swooped down another hallway. It was too late.

I did everything possible to make sure I put as much distance between Haley and me. I weaved through the crowded hallways. I made countless twists and turns throughout the body of the school, until I came across a boy’s bathroom and ducked inside. I locked myself into a stall and then sat down on the seat, hunched over, getting my breath back. Any attempt for those girls to find me would be futile, and I sighed in relief. After a while, I soon realized my heavy panting sounded like I was doing something more than just using the toilet, so I awkwardly ceased my heavy breathing.

My mind began to forget about my previous escape and I pulled out my timetable. I groaned when I saw what I had. Gym class. This wasn't good. I'd totally forgotten about being in the pool today, apart from last night when I packed my bag. It wasn't the actual swimming I was dreading, it was the changing rooms.

I emerged from the bathroom and headed for the gym, which wasn't far away.

You'd think for a gay teenager like myself, with skyrocketing hormones and an infatuated arousal for dick, I'd be in heaven when it came to this. Not so. I was in angst over the anticipation of being in a room with fifteen other naked boys. The ordeal came simply down to one thing: The packages. Would these boys think I was a pervert if I even glanced at another's package? Even if this wasn't a problem, what if they thought mine was small, especially after I'd been in the pool? Or even worse, what if my skyrocketing hormones and infatuated arousal for dick decided to go the complete opposite length and stand to attention?

I shuddered with unease at the thought. I knew I'd be called gay in an instant. And if that got out, then I'd be reliving my former life. I didn't want that.

I arrived at the gym, with other classmates. Our teacher Coach Kendall appeared from seemingly nowhere and told us to go get changed into our swimming gear and to meet by the pool.

I hadn't made any friends or pals in this class really, so I had no one to stick close to. I nervously walked to the changing rooms, alongside a chattering and buzzing group of classmates who didn't give a second thought to getting naked in the next two minutes.

The stench of damp chlorine hit my nostrils as I went in. I found a nice, quiet corner to dump my belongings and get changed. There were some hot boys in my gym class, so if I did pop a boner just by peeking at their bodies, I could hide it easier.

Everyone began to undress. I aimed to keep to myself and get changed and outta there as soon as possible. But while doing this, I overheard the loud conversation of some others. I allowed myself to look around for a few seconds. Most of them were half-naked, smooth and flat tanned chests exposed and were succulent to my eyes, while others were regrettably not as beautiful as this. I decided to wrap a towel around me to perform the boxers-off, shorts-on dance, and just for a second, I glanced at a hot guy across the room who was joking with his mates. That's all it took for me to widen my eyes and gasp. The boy was standing butt naked, with a grin on his face.

"You're quick to strip, Michael!" His friend jeered.

"Why, are you shy about showing your micro-dick?" He shot back.

"Screw you!" His friend Chris replied, dropping his boxers. And then he was naked too! And another guy over there was too!

The other boys were joking around with each other about their packages, which I had to say summed up their maturity yet still made them hot. And I managed to steal a decent view of some of those packages, which didn't look all too bad.

Before I went all horny though, I finished getting changed and I dashed out to the poolside.

Once all of us were gathered, Coach Kendall declared the number of laps we had to swim, which was twenty laps. Without further ado, we all dived into the pool and got started.

Half an hour later, I was glad to hear the sound of the Coach's whistle. I was beat. I had only done eighteen laps, but I didn't care.

"That's it guys! Out of the pool, hit the showers, and get changed! See you next time!"

With that, Coach Kendall turned to leave. He was one of those guys who could trust his class with leaving the pool on time. It was morning break though so we had a bit of time. I lifted myself out of the pool and made my way to the changing room, with the other boys, as the girls went to their changing rooms too.

I was a little nervous about getting changed again, but the freedom of exposure that the others had helped to diminish my anxiety. The only thing that I worried about was others seeing how small my package was, or if I unintentionally grew an erection, that they would call me gay. But this shouldn't be a problem if I just keep to myself.

As for the other boys, I expected them to joke about each other's dicks like they did before. However, this changed a lot. I didn't really expect to see this coming, but it did.

I should've known better with a room full of hormonal teenagers willing to expose themselves. It started with the showers. Some boys that I found myself staring at because of their beauty, had stripped naked and were showering together under nozzles that rained meager water on them. They started laughing about their packages again, which immediately ticked the expectation box for me. But then things went further.

One boy, one whom I didn't expect to be so confident, started to stroke himself! Right there in front of everyone! He leaned his head back and let out a loud, pleasured sigh as I watched in complete stun as the foreskin of his dick slid back revealing the head and then back over again repeatedly. While I looked on in shock, the other boys laughed and cheered even more. A few seconds later, Michael followed suit and began jerking also! I gasped and hurried myself to get dressed. If I watched for a second longer, I think I'd cum myself. My penis was already hardened to rock as I gazed in horny dismay at the two boys. It made getting my boxers on quite tricky, but I managed to fumble them around my six and a half inches of cock. The material on my boxers dampened slightly as the tip of my shaft was hugged. That's when I realized what I thought had been residual pool water was actually my precum! No way I could turn around now.

The boys behind me had stopped their moment of pleasure as they joked about it more and continued their shower. Meanwhile, I frantically looked for my pants.Where were they!? There, under my towel! I snatched my pants and threw them on faster than anyone had ever done before. After that, came my shirt, socks and shoes, and then I was outta there.

I breathed a sigh of relief. That's over with now. Plus, I get to add to my sexual fantasies too. So as gut-wrenching as that experience was, I had made it out alive with bonuses.

As if to continue my good luck, I walked out of the gym and crossed paths with someone I didn't expect to see, which nearly made me drop everything with both surprise and infatuation.

"Hey Jordan." Sean Chrystal smiled, beaming a smile worth the world.

"H-h-hey man, how are ya?" I stammered.

My heart pounded incessantly at his sudden entrance. My hands started fidgeting with my bag, my hair and everything else my prying fingers played with.

Sean continued to speak as if he hadn't noticed my state. "I'm alright. Thanks for asking. How about yourself?"

"I'm okay, yeah." I murmured.

What is with me today? I'm sure I was better around him before! Maybe it's because he ain't with anyone else right now and it's just the two of us...

I realized that there was a silence between us, now that our greeting had passed. Jordan, say something for god’s sake!

"Well it was good seeing you Sean, but I'd better head to my next period class..." I said, pointing a thumb behind me.

Sean started to giggle, which as bemusing as it was, looked and sounded really, really cute. I like his laugh. It matched his outstretched grin, the amused sparkle in his eyes and the glow of joy that radiated from him. It was only a short giggle, but to me it made me fall for him more.

"No, you silly sausage, we have morning break now, it's not next period just yet." Sean laughed.

I realized my mistake. I felt my cheeks get very warm, as I started to feel quite embarrassed at my blonde moment.

I played it off. "Damn, I was totally looking forward to taking notes about essay structures and outlines in English."

Sean smiled. "You're a funny guy, Jordan."

"Call me a comedian."

We both let out another small chuckle, and then the awkward silence returned. Now what?

"Hey um...Jordan? Do you wanna hang out with me until morning break is over?" Sean asked with a slightly timid tone.

"What about Josh and Levi?"

Sean sighed. "Long story short, they're writing lines for Ms. Kane."

"Oh my God, what did they do?"

As we started walking away from the gym, I listened to Sean's delightful story of how Levi and Josh decided how much of a good idea it was to throw paper planes to each other but unintentionally fly one in Ms. Kane's face when she turned at just the right angle at just the right moment. As we laughed with each other over their misfortune, I couldn't help but really take a good look at the face of my crush. Up close, it was even more amazing. His brown eyes gazed upon me with playful interest that stirred a good feeling inside myself. His short but soft caramel hair was brushed to the side, with the cutest lock of hair in a wave at the edge of his forehead. Added with a flawless tanned complexion, perfectly shaped lips and a natural aura of beauty, Sean was like a slice of heaven. An angel of gorgeousness, and he called me his friend.

Once I was over that initial nervousness, I found that I wanted to be with Sean so much, and the thought of separation between us would disappoint me immensely. He was smart, funny, and do I need to say how cute he was again? We had a connection that made us so easy to get along, whatever that was. To be honest, it was stronger than the one I had with Malachi, although I've gotten to know him more. As I thought, I began to weigh up things between my two idols. And the more I walked and talked with Sean, the more distinct my decision became.

We stopped in front of a bench outside in the sun. Sean said that he, along with Josh and Levi, hung out there when they weren't in the cafeteria. We both took a seat. I looked yet again at my crush. My God, he looked amazing in the sun.

"So what things do you like doing?" Sean asked me, turning his glamorous eyes toward me.

I half freaked out mentally, fumbling for an answer that wouldn't make me sound lame.

"I'm a gamer, I play on my computer mostly."

Sean replied, "Sweet. I am too, we should see if we can play online together some time. What else do you do?"

"Um....I...I like to draw a bit too." I timidly answered. He's gonna think I'm a dork, isn't he?

Instead, Sean lit up and looked keenly interested. "Cool! What do you draw?"

"I'm more of an anime guy, I just enjoy being creative with the Japanese style of cartoon, you know? Did you see my character page that we did in Art?"

Sean nodded. "Yeah, I saw that. It was really good."

"Yeah...well, still not as good as others. I've got some more in here..."

I opened and dug into my bag, pulling out my small drawing pad. On it, I had doodled anime characters and animals. It was just some rough sketches, they didn't mean much to me. I thought to myself,Why does Sean need to see this? These are shit anyway.

"They're nothing much..." I mumbled, a little bashful and shy about my drawings.

Sean's eyes poured over them. "Jordan, this is great!"

"No, no...it's really not much at all. I should just throw it out..."

"What do you mean?" Sean asked, frowning as he looked up at me.

I sighed, feeling my cheeks redden. "Well...well...I'm not that good, I suppose..."

A look crossed Sean's face, a face that now showed understanding and also seriousness.

"Jordan." He said, "Don't say that ever again, you hear me? You may think your work is meaningless, but it's actually worth something. These are special. You've done these so well and you've obviously put a lot of care and emotion into these."

Sean carefully closed the pad and fully faced me. "You need to keep this, it's part of you. I really do like these, and I'm sure others do too."

I was surprised by Sean's response to my dismissal of my work. I half-expected him to argue that I was better than what I thought, but instead of simply doing that, he fully expressed what he thought about my drawings in a way that let me know that these were important to me, and to him, and to potentially others.

The thought made me smile, but my mind couldn't help but reproduce the memories of what others thought of my drawings.

When I was three years younger, I showed Mom a sketch I did of her that I put a lot of time and effort into. I remember spending weeks on it, and I don't even know why. Maybe it was Mother's Day soon? Anyhow, once I'd finished it, I proudly presented it to Mom who was sitting at her office, tapping at a keyboard and computer.

"Mom, I drew a sketch of you! What do you think?" I beamed, handing it to her.

At the time, I was waiting for her to praise me for my great work and say how good it was. I was expecting her to tell everyone about me, saying how great of an artist I was. Instead, Mom simply said three words.

"That's nice, honey."

And with that, she opened a filing cabinet, flicked through some folders then chucked the drawing into it, before slamming it shut and returning to her work.

On another occasion, back at my old school in art, my work was always criticized by the teacher. I think he knew through the grapevine that I was gay, and apparently he didn't like that so much, so he made sure everyone else's work was so much better than mine. The other kids in class also teased my work too, even though there wasn't any major flaws with them at all.

These, alongside similar memories, accumulated to how I felt about showing Sean my drawing. I wasn't confident about showing it to him at all, because my self-esteem in that field had been gunned down. But for some silly reason, I did show him my work.

And he liked them a lot.

The feeling of being praised and sincerely commended for something that was formerly viewed as something not even worth shit stirred up an emotion inside of me that tickled my skin and made my insides feel sugar sweet. I was really happy about what Sean had said.

"Thanks Sean." I said. "That...that means a lot."

Sean smiled. "I'm sure it does. You're very privileged to have such talent."

"Oh stop." I blushed.

"Just telling the truth."

There was a moment of silence. I gazed high into the sunny blue sky, peppered with clouds, a small smile on my face.

"What is your idea of fun?" I asked.

"Gaming like yourself. I am more into cooking and playing football though. Oh, wait...you saw those things on my personality sketch as well, didn't you?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I did."

Oh yes I remembered that alright. That lovely sketch of him kicking a football in the background, with his smiling Mommy and Daddy waving a very conspicuous flag.

"That was a really good sketch of yourself, by the way." I complimented.

Hang on...where did that come from? Did I just blurt that out?

Sean smiled shyly. "Thanks, Jordy."

OMIGOD he called me by my nickname, how adorable is that!

"It's a very interesting picture, I thought."

Wait, who said that? Was that me again!? What has gotten into me?

Sean hesitated for a split second, before coming back with, "Why do you say that?"

Here we go, I thought. This was my chance. My chance to shine. My chance to mention the rainbow flag, ask if he's gay, say that I'm gay, kiss and make out, then live happily ever after. But that would only be in a perfect world, which my one is far from not.

So it could be like this. I mention the rainbow flag, he gets aggressively defensive, I go home with a black eye because he thinks I'm a prying queer, and I don't live happily ever after.

I took a breath and looked at him straight in those adorable brown eyes and said, "Yes, it's very interesting. There is one tiny detail that makes it so. It's the flag you're parents are holding while you play football."

I nearly didn't believe my own voice had the courage to say that, but it was as if nothing could waver my confidence. Which was really strange, because now I was in one of the most nerve wracking situations I've ever faced.

Something changed on Sean's face. It was tiny, nearly insignificant, but I picked it up. The calm, cool and collected impression cracked a little when the muscle underneath his eye twitched, his eyes dimmed, and his cute smile wavered. Not only that, his thumbnail started picking at it's partner. He ran a hand through his hair.

Oh my god, he's gay isn't he? He's gay, he's gay, he's gay, he HAS to be gay! Please be gay! Or at least bi! Just spill, and I'll tell you my secret too.

"Jordan..." Sean said in a nervous voice. "Do...do you have a girlfriend?"

Where the hell did that come from?

Out of nowhere, the bell rung. Morning break was over. Where the hell did that come from?

I stood up fast. "Geez, I didn't even see the time. That went quick!"

"Sure did." Sean agreed, getting up. "Uh, um...look, forget I asked you that question just before. Don't think about it."

I was confused, but I smiled anyway. "Don't think about what?"

A relieved smile fell on his face. "Yeah, thanks. See you at art last period."

"Last period." I said, giving him a wave.

And with that, we went off to our next classes, leaving me happy, but a little puzzled about his question. Somehow, I think we both dodged a bullet.

                                                                      ••••

The rest of the day was a breeze, as if a gentle wind was floating me on. I had seen Malachi in history, I'd hung out with Sean and the gang over lunch, and now I was heading to my last period art class.

However, it hadn't been that long, in fact it had only been two days since stepping foot into the new school. It was a day of ups and downs, but a day where I first met Sean and Malachi.

I think today was the best day I've had so far at school. The fangirls seem to lay off a little, as if they've noticed themselves being unusual, or they've noticed me noticing them be unusual. It was only that science class this morning which was a little chaotic in that department. Plus, the jerk Patrick Pierce was nowhere to be seen, as if he'd been kicked off the face of the earth.

Yes, I was happy, and my happiness only expanded when I walked into the class at the same time Sean Chrystal did.

"Hey." He smiled widely.

"Hey Sean." I said.

Man his smile was gorgeous. When he revealed his smooth, straight and white teeth in his beam of glory, God it was magnificent. I melted inside for him.

Mrs. Pfeiffer set us all to work on our artwork pretty much as soon as we sat down. I was worried that Sean and I might find our communication a little awkward considering the question he posed at morning break and avoided mentioning until now. Luckily, we got to listen to Levi rave about this new video game being released at the gaming store this weekend.

"I reckon," Levi said. "This is going to be better than any Call of Duty game ever."

Josh mocked him. "Why? Are there zombies from space this time?"

"Shut up!" He protested, earning him a slug on the arm and a laugh from Sean and I.

"Hey that gaming store is close by the mall isn't it?" Sean asked.

Levi frowned. "Yeah I think so. There's that other one but it's at the other end of town. Why do you ask?"

"I was thinking we should all go." He suggested.

I was instantly enraptured by this. Did that mean… by 'all of us'… that I was invited along?

Levi started to think about it as Josh piped up. "Good idea actually. My Mom says I need new socks because they've got holes in them and she's too busy to buy them herself and—"

Levi interrupted. "Are you telling me you want to go to the mall with us all to look for socks?"

We laughed as Josh protested. "NO I want to buy… you know…other things too..."

"Like what?"

"Like.... um, underwear?"

"Josh, you are a dork." Levi told him blatantly.

We all had a good chuckle at this at Josh's minor expense. Some of the things that came out of his mouth was hilarious sometimes.

Sean turned to me. "Jordan, you should come with us!"

Ah yes, if only that were in a sexual way. I shook off my gutter minded thought and nodded eagerly, without thinking too much about it.

"That'll be cool." I said.

"Are you looking for underwear too?" Levi asked with a grin.

"Shut your face!" Josh demanded, as another chuckle rippled through us.

Mrs. Pfeiffer stared sternly at the four of us from the front of the room, which indicated that we had to quiet down. I began to focus again when a tap, tap, tap was felt on my arm.

I turned to Sean, a thrilling burst of energy coursing through me. God, even him just getting my attention excited me!

"Jordan?" He asked. "You're wanting to go to the mall with us still, right?"

On the brink of nodding my head with eager delight, a sudden thought halted my tracks. Will Mom and Dad let me go?

The thought of my parents darkened my optimism. If hanging out with the gang at the mall is sunshine, then Mom and Dad are the storm clouds. Dad wouldn't care that much, but Mom was more the problem. She would ask so many questions when I asked her to go.Who's going with you? How many? Are these friends good to you? What for? Why? What time are you going? What time will you be back? If one thing seemed suspicious to her, it was game over Red Rover. And that was only the start. Afterwards, Mom would pester me with questions again. How was it? What did you do exactly? Who was there again? How long did it take? Oh my God, it was frustrating! I couldn't go anywhere because of my mother!

Could I explain that to Sean now? In other words, do I want to look lame?

"Actually..." I started. "I can't, I'm sorry. I've got stuff going on. I would've liked to come though..."

That was awfully hard to say to Sean's eyes, especially when they dropped with obvious disappointment. It was as if the shine had vanished altogether.

"Oh, ok..." He mumbled.

I felt really bad and didn't want to disappoint him. He then looked down, a slight frown on his face as he tried to work out something in his head.

To not look like I was staring at him, I went back to my work. The teacher was introducing tones and shades next lesson, so I had to hurry up and finish this sketch, while listening to Levi and Josh's nonsense conversation of course.

"They're not called checkered! They're tartan!" Josh was protesting to Levi for some unknown reason.

"Tartan schmartan. They're the same as checkers." Levi objected.

"Checkers are not Scottish! Tartan are!"

I had to butt in. "Woah guys, are you still talking about socks?"

Josh answered, "No, were talking about my sketch. It's a Scotsman in a tartan kilt but Levi thinks they're checkers."

"Which they are." Levi added.

"They are not! Tartan, checker, clear difference."

Levi smiled smugly. "Look, you could lay his tutu out on the table and play chess on it!"

"Firstly, it's a kilt, not a tutu." Josh said, grinding his teeth. "And secondly, for the last time, tartan! You can't play chess on it!"

Sean was now watching the two of them squabble like ducks over bread as they argued about the patterns of Scottish garments.

"This is ridiculous." I said to Sean.

He glanced at me. "Agreed."

I couldn't stand hearing them ramble on so I drew a checker and tartan pattern on my drawing pad to settle the issue. I leant over towards them and put the pad in front of them.

"Look this is tartan, this is checker." I said, pointing to the patterns with a pencil.

Both could see the clear, unmistakable difference between the two.

"See, I told you they were different." Levi grinned meekly at Josh.

After Josh punched his arm again, Sean took my book from my hands and flicked through the pages, examining my drawings. It made me feel quite self-conscious, but also happy that he still took an interest in my work.

Just then, a girl at a row of tables beside me tapped my shoulder and asked if I was the guy all over Facebook. Oh no.

"So that I hear." I said to her.

"Didn't you beat up that bully?" She asked.

What? That's not right.

"Uh, no. He was going to beat ME up if I recall correctly. Why did you think that?"

"Because everyone here on Facebook is saying that now." She replied.

Oh no...

It looked like a message had been turned into social network Chinese whispers.

Then the bell rang. School was out. Everyone began talking and packing their things up all at once. Sean handed me back my art book which I stuffed into my bag with my other pencil equipment. I zipped up and threw my bag onto my shoulder, ready to go.

"See ya later Sean." I said with a smile.

Sean was still packing his bag while Josh and Levi had just left with everyone else out the door. He glanced up at me, and for some reason he was shaking a little bit.

"H-hey um, Jordan?" He stammered.

I stopped in my tracks. "Yeah?"

Sean was on the verge of telling me something that seemed to be on his mind, something that I should only know. He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out, as if someone had switched off his voice completely.

I sensed Sean's struggle and reassured him, "It's ok, you can tell me."

He quite clearly couldn't, no matter how hard he tried. It was as if he'd caught a serious stammer and couldn't come out with the words. To see Sean like this was unusual, and something I wasn't expecting. What was so important that he couldn't come out with?

In the end, he gave up. "Look, don't worry Jordan. I'll… I'll see you tomorrow."

I gave him a wave, and a confused smile and made my way out the door. That was definitely odd. I played around with the idea of him being gay like me and pretended he was. Actually, that would totally make sense. If I were to tell Sean I really liked him and that I was gay, I would be shitting myself! I wouldn't dare to right now. But if the reverse was true, then.... then.... oh wow, he would've been trying to come out to me, wouldn't he? Surely there must be some other explanation for his unusual behavior? C'mon, think, think...

As I strode through the hallway, I found I couldn't think of any other reason.

                                                ••••

A feeling of joy radiated from my skin as I sat on the bus with Malachi.

"It's like I haven't seen you in ages." I said to him in conversation.

"You didn't apart from this morning.." and in History today," He said.

I felt a sense of security and trust when it came to Malachi. He was like my lifeguard to the troubles I faced. Of course, we couldn't forget how gorgeous he was too. For the moment, I'd forgotten Sean's invitation to the mall and I was enjoying basking in Malachi's company.

"I've got a ton of homework though." He groaned. "I've got Math, English, a bit of science..."

"Only three things?" I asked.

"Yeah I think so." He nodded.

"Sounds like a piece of cake."

He shook his head. "Far from it. I'm in the gifted classes, which means the work is a lot harder. I don't—"

Malachi stopped suddenly in mid-sentence and gazed past me. I frowned in bemusement as he didn't speak again.

"Mal?" I said, waving a hand in front of his face.

He blinked, and turned back to me. "Don't look now, but there's a girl behind you totally checking you out."

Oh God.

I sighed. "Malachi, I've actually been getting stared at by a lot of girls lately. I don't know why and it's starting to worry me."

He started to mumble something but stopped himself quickly.

"Aye?"

"NOTHING, I was just saying that there's nothing to worry about. Isn't this a good thing?"

What he said was convincing, but I'm sure he had mumbled a reason why girls were attracted to me. I let it go though.

"Yeah… well..." I sighed.

"Omigod she's taking a picture of you! This is insane! Who does that?"

"A flock of frenzied fanatics, that's who." I muttered.

Malachi continued. "I think her name is Shannon from memory. She's pretty good looking. You should say hi."

No this can't be happening! It wasn't supposed to be like this! My heart sank with disappointment with each eager word that left Malachi's mouth about the girl, because I knew it would mean he wasn't gay if he seemed to take an interest in girls. I tried my best to put on a fake smile and play it off but the boy just kept on talking.

"So just say hi, have a good chat, get her number and she'll be yours in no time! She's taken a sneaky picture of you, for god sake!"

"Mal..."

"She's a brunette! Do you like brunettes? I like brunettes."

"Mal..."

"Would you do a brunette?"

"MAL!" I interrupted him before it got worse. "Shut up, okay? I get it."

He calmed down, but not without a pester of questions. "Are you gonna look at her? Do you want to go out with someone? What about—"

"Malachi, please. I don't need you in my ear like that."

"Well can you at least just take a look at her!?" He said.

I sighed and turned my head to where Malachi was looking. A girl with plush, brown hair quickly glanced away, flicking her hair and trying to look cute. To me, she seemed just as bad as Haley.

I turned back around. "So what?"

Malachi seemed confused. "So what? You go and talk to her!"

"I'm not doing that."

"Why not?"

"I… I..."

I was put on the spot. I couldn't come up with a response that wasn't either 'because I'm gay' or 'actually I'm gonna go talk to her.' I cursed myself for letting Malachi back me into a corner like this. He's supposed to be the good guy, isn't he? I desperately tried to think of something, but it was as if my mind was drawing blanks.

The bus slowed down and I realized we were just about at our stop. Perfect.

"Well it looks like we're getting off anyway so..."

Malachi jabbed a finger at my chest. "You're not getting away from this that easily! All I want you to do is go up and say hi. It's not like you're going to ask her out or anything right then and there."

"FINE!" I declared as the bus drew to a halt on the side of the road. "I'll do it. But… um, what should I say?"

Malachi grinned. "Just say hello, okay? It's not that hard. Try not to rock up to her and yell: 'WHAT UP PUNK BITCH!?' That won't go down to well."

"Although that would be funny to—"

"DON'T! Alright? Just go now, as we're leaving."

We both stood up and began shuffling out of our seats. I took a breath, and directed my eyes to the idiot girl. She was looking up at me now, close enough for her to hear me.

"Hi!" I smiled shyly, before turning away to get off the bus.

Once I was off with Malachi, he slapped me on the back. "Good job man. She was blushing, I saw it."

I shrugged. "Well… meh. Whatever."

The bus roared off, leaving behind a neighborhood of high/middle-class houses, thick trees of green and a couple of figures across the street. One was an older woman checking her mailbox and returning inside. The other I didn't pay much attention to.

"You're not gonna come over for a while?" Malachi asked. "Bust out some homework? Crack some test chambers in Portal?"

I shook my head. "Nah, I'm fine. Thanks for the offer though. I'd better not or Mom won't be too pleased."

The truth was that I would have loved to spend some more time with Malachi. To enjoy looking at his cute face for longer, but the mere thought of Mom instantly turned me away from the idea. I don't need her interrogating me about why I was late home again.

Malachi shrugged. "Okay well see you tomorrow I guess."

"Bye Mal." I said.

As we both parted, I took the chance to peek one more time at his body. The side of his shirt hugging his slim waist, hung down to the top of his cute ass that looked…yum.

I felt myself start to harden down there, so before I came home with a full erection, I made sure I didn't let it get that far, adjusting myself to make it become less conspicuous. Little did I pay attention to the figure across the street who now was crossing the road toward me.

When he was mere feet away, I looked up and saw who it was. I gasped in shock as he gave me a smile of pure bitterness.

"Surprise, faggot." Patrick Pierce said. "Hope you've missed me."

That's when the fist came flying at my head.

                                                                        ••••

I limped the rest of the way home, sobbing uncontrollably. The bruise swollen on my head like a monster. My nose was bleeding. I rasped for breath, just getting over being winded.

Patrick had been brutal. He'd taken me to a nearby secluded spot and he had abused me until he had had enough. Before he left me behind on the ground, he gave me a good final kick and a glob of spit which landed in my hair. And while he was punching and kicking me like a rag doll in his assault, he kept swearing about what 'bad' things I'd done to make him angry. Apparently his girlfriend Chelsea had dumped him, which was only part of why he took full rage on me.

Many times I tried to fight back or escape, or at least plead to stop, but he restrained me forcefully as he continued hurting me.

I was in tears throughout the entire session. My body was screaming in agony, and it continued to do so as I staggered home even now.

I didn't think of Mom too much until I got to the front door and opened it.

She came out from the dining room to see me. "Jordan! Was the bus late or—"

Mom's jaw dropped as she stared in shock at me. I must've looked terrible.

"Jordan… what happened? Who did this!? Tell me now!"

I opened my mouth, struggling to say what I wanted to say. Instead I said, "I can't tell you right now."

And then I pushed past her up the stairs to my room.

"Jordan..." She called, following me up the staircase.

I ignored her and made it to my room.

"JORDAN!"

Slamming the door behind me and locking it, I threw my bag onto the floor. Mom was outside my door, banging on it.

"Open up!" She demanded.

But I still ignored her. I just slumped to the floor and put my head in my hands, letting the tears fall free.

After a moment, I think my Mom had realized that I might need some time by myself and amazingly, she left me alone. I was still upset though, and although my bruises were getting better, they were still somewhat painful. I wiped my runny nose with the back of my hand and saw the blood smeared across it.

Then suddenly, I felt a certain emotion boil inside me. Anger. Rage. My shock had worn off. Just as Patrick had done to me, so I felt like doing to… to… I don't know, someone! Something!

In blind fury, I ripped the pillows off my bed and began hitting everything with it, everything! My bedside lamp copped a blow and clattered to the floor. Books dropped from my shelves. When I had enough of that, the pillow became my punching bag. My fists clenched tighter than what I could bear as I choked the life out of the pillow. I threw it to the floor.

As the last of my tantrum triggered, I ripped open my bag and flung my books to the floor. Textbooks, my art book and writing books went flying.

That was about when a single piece of folded paper fluttered out from one of these books and gently descended to the floor.

My anger had partially subsided, and was being replaced with curiosity. I picked up the piece of paper and unfolded it. The words on it were handwritten, but my eyes were blurred over to much to read it. I wiped my eyes again and focused in on the writing, each word accumulating to my confusion but most of all a sense of climax.

Jordan,

- X