Sauna Christmas - 1. Story

It had been a warm and wet December. Juha would wake to frost in the grass, but by midday it would have melted away, leaving mud and slush in its wake. Today, though, the wind blew cold from the north and snow had fallen thick and heavy in the night. Temperatures had been steadily dropping since the evening before. It appeared that winter had finally come.

It had been dark when Juha had left for work that morning and it was pitch-black again when he went home, and would have been even if he hadn’t worked overtime as tomorrow was Christmas Eve. That was Finland this far north in mid-winter. Juha pulled his scarf tighter about his neck to block out the chill. He hadn’t quite dressed for this, used to the unseasonable warmth they had been experiencing thus far, and the walk home from the offices of the local newspaper chilled him to the bone. If it wasn’t occupied, he would fire up the sauna in the basement of his apartment building when he got home, get some warmth back in him.

Luckily, he only had a ten minute walk home. Upon entering the building, Juha stopped to check his mailbox. Bills, letter from the bank (it was 2015, why couldn’t they just do all this digitally?), a Christmas card . . . The front door opened behind him and someone stopped next to him to check their own mailbox.

‘Afternoon,’ said Matti. A tall, thin man in his late twenties, with carrot orange hair and blue eyes, he lived next door to Juha along with his wife.

‘Hi,’ Juha replied, closing his mailbox.

‘Cold, isn’t it?’ Matti remarked.

Juha nodded thoughtfully. ‘Mm. About time, too.’

Matti shut his mailbox as well and they started up the stairs.

‘I’ve been meaning to ask,’ said Matti when they had ascended the first staircase. ‘I know this lovely girl named Karin, friend of Lilja’s from church. Thought you might like to take her out.’

Juha rolled his eyes. Matti was well aware that he was gay, but he was a pious man and it was almost like he thought if he just found enough eligible young ladies, Juha would eventually realise that he had been straight all along. The price of living in the Bible Belt.

‘Unless she is really a he, I’m afraid she’s not my type.’

Matti shrugged, seemingly unperturbed. ‘Maybe you just haven’t met the right woman.’

They reached their floor and Juha pulled his keys out of his pocket to unlock his door. ‘I promise if I miraculously turn straight, you’ll be the first to know.’

‘You should come with us to church some time,’ said Matti. ‘You could come on Christmas Eve.’

Juha smiled and shook his head. ‘No thank you. Not this year either.’

He entered his flat and dropped his keys and mail on the side table in the hall. He placed his snow covered boots in the bathroom to dry after hanging his coat. He really hoped the sauna was free.

Why couldn’t someone try to set him up with a guy for once? Once again, Juha had been practically celibate for months. He had spent a truly marvellous summer in the company of one Adam Hill, his friend Markku’s distant American cousin, but in August, Adam had returned home to San Diego, and that much of a long distance relationship hadn’t been tempting to either of them.

As it happened, the sauna was unoccupied, and Juha spent a good half hour in it, sweating and breathing steam. Usually, the sauna was good for clearing his head but as he had already started to think about Adam, it was hard to put him away again. He realised that it had actually been a couple of days since he last thought of his tanned summer lover.

It wasn’t as if they hadn’t spoken since he left. There had been e-mails, instant messaging, even a few conversations on Skype, a couple of which had ended rather steamily. Still, it wasn’t the same. Juha was not in the habit of lying to himself. He missed Adam. They hadn’t spoken in at least a week now.

When he returned to his flat, Juha made himself some dinner and a cup of coffee, and was just about to sit down to watch Netflix when his mobile rang. He didn’t recognise the number.

‘Hello?’ he said as he answered.

The response surprised him by being in English. ‘Juha? Um . . . It’s Adam.’

The world stopped turning for a moment as Juha sat stupidly with his coffee cup halfway to his lips. He blinked, took the phone away from his ear and checked the number. It was a Finnish number, not an American one.

‘Hello?’ came Adam’s warm baritone, and Juha cleared his throat and put the phone to his ear again.

‘Hi,’ he said. ‘I, er . . . It’s nice to hear from you. If unexpected.’

Adam chuckled. ‘Uh, yeah. I wanted to surprise you. I’m in town, staying with the Mäntynens.’

Juha swallowed. His heart was pounding in his chest, but he tried for nonchalance. ‘You’re in Finland for Christmas, then?’

‘Yeah. My mom was really offended when I told her I wouldn’t be home for the holidays . . . But this has been the year I found my roots. I wanted to experience a Finnish Christmas.’ There was a pause. ‘Anyway, I was hoping you’d wanna hang out, one of these days. Or several of them. I . . . I’ve missed you.’ He mumbled the last part, almost like he was embarrassed, and Juha couldn’t help but smile.

‘Sure. I’d like that.’

‘I don’t suppose you’re free tonight?’ Adam asked. ‘Only I’m worried if I stay here Aunt Aino is gonna feed me Christmas cookies until I burst.’

‘Oh, so you’re just using me to get out of the house? I’m hurt!’ said Juha in mock offence.

‘Yes,’ Adam deadpanned. ‘And I only want you for your body. So, how about it?’

Juha gave a soft laugh. ‘Give me twenty minutes to finish my dinner.’

‘Okay. Cool. Meet at the Irish place where we went with Markku this summer? In half an hour?’

‘It’s a date,’ said Juha. ‘See you soon.’

#

The Irish pub in question was part of a nationwide chain and far from the best place in town to get a drink, but it was easy to find and Juha thought they could always move on to somewhere better later. Uncharacteristically afraid of being late, he was there five minutes earlier than agreed. Luckily, so was Adam. Juha spotted him at a table near the bar and he looked up from his beer at the sound of the door slamming shut in the wind.

Juha stood still for a moment, staring at him. He had been carrying an irrational worry that they wouldn’t recognise each other. That they had both changed too much since August. But Adam looked the same, still tanned, still with short, brown hair bleached by the sun. It must be warm in California.

As Juha crossed the floor, Adam stood from his seat and when Juha had almost reached the table, Adam took a step forward to meet him and pulled him into a wordless embrace. Juha hugged him tight, feeling the familiar angles of his body even through the layers of winter clothing. Adam let out a warm breath against his neck and then pulled back enough for their eyes to meet. Automatically, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, their lips met in a chaste kiss. Briefly at first, then once more, lasting longer this time. Finally they pulled apart and took their seats.

Juha could feel a few of the bar’s patrons eyeing them curiously. Two men kissing in public wasn’t the most common occurrence in this town, but everyone was far too Finnish to make a big deal out of it and soon everyone’s attentions returned to their drinks, their friends, or the hockey match on the TV above the bar.

Adam smiled, the expression almost shy, and licked his lips. ‘Hi.’

‘Hi,’ Juha replied, taking off his coat and scarf. ‘So. Keeping well?’

‘Can’t complain,’ said Adam with a grin. ‘It’s weird being back. Everything looks so different with snow everywhere . . .’

‘It’s almost like you brought the snow with you,’ said Juha. ‘Did you arrive today?’

‘Yeah, this morning. Thought I’d be jet-lagged as fuck, but as it turns out I’m okay. Slept a lot on the flight over.’

Juha nodded thoughtfully. ‘Snow came in the night. It’s been warm until now. I prefer it like this, though.’

Adam laughed softly. ‘It makes the whole Finnish Christmas experience more genuine, anyway. I think I would have been disappointed if there wasn’t any snow.’

Juha smiled. ‘Climate change. Fucks with our weather a lot. Cold summers, warm winters.’

There was a pause in the conversation as they regarded one another. It wasn’t an awkward pause, just a brief, comfortable silence. Juha wanted to get up and order himself a beer at the bar, but he was reluctant to leave, even for a moment. He wanted to bask in Adam’s presence for a while longer.

‘Not drinking tonight?’ asked Adam after another few moments, as if he’d been reading Juha’s mind.

‘Oh. Yeah.’ Juha got to his feet. On his way to the bar he let his hand come to rest on Adam’s shoulder for a second, and Adam covered his hand with his own, looking up at him with a smile.

‘I’m not going anywhere.’

Juha returned his smile. ‘No, I know.’

He ordered a lager, watching Adam out of the corner of his eye even as he did so, noting the way he rested his left ankle on his right knee, the way he fiddled with his phone, ran a finger over the edge of his glass. Movements that he had been perfectly able to map out in his head five months ago, but which he had somehow forgotten about since they’d been apart.

Juha sat back down with his beer and for a while they sat in comfortable silence, watching each other and sipping their drinks.

‘So,’ said Adam eventually, ‘what have you been up to?’

Juha shrugged. ‘You know. Work.’ He glanced up at Adam’s face. ‘You?’

Adam mirrored Juha’s shrug. ‘Same, I guess. There hasn’t really been much going on.’ He paused, frowning slightly, as though he were struggling with what to say next. ‘Have you . . . met anyone?’ he said at last, and the question took Juha so by surprise that he laughed.

‘Who would I meet here? This is the arse-end of nowhere, and it’s entirely possible that I’m the only gay man in town.’ He hesitated. ‘That . . . That was what you meant, right?’ he asked, voice a little softer.

Adam smiled a half smile. ‘Yeah. That was what I meant.’

Juha nodded. Then, ‘What about you? San Diego must be full of hot guys like you. I mean, hot guys you’d like.’ He felt his face flush the tiniest bit, but Adam either didn’t notice or didn’t care.

‘There are some,’ he conceded. ‘But, honestly? No, I haven’t. I mean, I’ve met people out clubbing, even went on a couple of dates, but . . .’ He trailed off, shrugging. ‘Didn’t feel right, I guess.’

He ran his fingers through his hair, eyes flitting about the room nervously. He looked more nervous than Juha had ever seen him, and it felt strange to see him like that. That summer, Adam had been all cool confidence and charisma. He had adapted to the new culture he was experiencing like a fish to water, any initial awkwardness vanishing in a second. That was how Juha remembered him. Like some self-assured, sexy adonis who had strode through his life for a summer, pulling him out of the humdrum and giving him exactly what he needed. They’d been together, and it had been wonderful, and then it had ended.

Adam took a deep breath and spoke again. ‘Truth is, whenever I tried to go out with someone, whenever someone showed interest in me, I thought about . . .’ He seemed to consider his words carefully. ‘I thought about this tall, blonde dude I met this summer, who swept me off my feet without even trying. Who taught me about the sauna, and who seemed somehow surprised that I liked him, as if he wasn’t the hottest guy I’d ever met.’ He met Juha’s eyes. ‘As if I didn’t think from the first moment we met on that beach, man, I hope he’s into guys.’

Juha felt his mouth twitch. He thought his face must be stuck between a look of utter amazement and the goofiest grin ever worn by man. His ears burned, and in order to hide his embarrassment and his disbelief he took a long swig of his beer, nearly draining the glass. He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to compose himself, and when he opened them he gave Adam a soft smile. ‘Let’s get out of here.’

Adam lifted his glass to his lips and drained it in one swallow. ‘I thought you’d never ask.’

#

Juha let them into his apartment, tossing his keys on the side table as usual. ‘You want a drink?’ he asked, removing his boots. ‘Pretty sure I have some good Finnish vodka lying around.’

‘Sure.’ Adam hung his coat on a peg by the door. ‘Nice place,’ he observed, entering the living room. They had spent most of their time last summer at Juha or Markku’s family cabins out in the woods, so Adam had never actually been to Juha’s apartment before.

Juha shrugged. ‘It’s not much, but it’s mine.’ He walked to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of vodka flavoured with nordic forest berries. While he poured into two glasses, he felt Adam come up behind him and slip his arms around his waist, kissing the back of his neck softly. Juha wanted to say screw the drink and just take him to bed, but that didn’t seem quite right. He gave a soft sigh and turned around, handing a glass to Adam.

They sat on the couch, sipping their drinks.

‘This is really tasty,’ said Adam, sounding mildly astonished. ‘I don’t usually drink booze straight up like this, but this is good.’

‘Told you I had good Finnish vodka,’ said Juha with a grin. ‘Cheers.’

‘Kippis,’ Adam replied and took another sip. ‘Oh, my God, did I tell you about that guy on the plane with me when I flew home last time?’

Juha shook his head.

‘Oh, it was hilarious. There was this older Finnish guy who clearly hadn’t flown since before 9/11, assuming he’d ever flown before at all. Big, beefy guy, leather jacket, crew cut. He walks through the metal detector in security wearing the jacket and it goes off. Turns out he’s got a knife in one pocket and a half bottle of vodka in the other, and he acts all surprised when they tell him he’s not allowed to bring them on board.’ Adam laughed. ‘I swear, it was the single most Finnish thing I’ve ever seen.’

Juha laughed as well, draining his glass. ‘They say most stereotypes exist for a reason.’

‘He didn’t protest or anything,’ Adam continued. ‘When they told him he couldn’t bring those things on the plane he just sort of shrugged and handed them over. No argument, no violence. I ended up next to him on the plane. He was a pretty chill bro, though he’d obviously been sampling that vodka bottle.’ He finished his drink as well, setting the glass down on the table.

There was a moment of silence as they eyed each other. Adam sat reclined in the sofa, a soft smile playing on his lips. He’d removed his thick sweater and was wearing a green t-shirt, loose around the collar but clinging to the muscles of his abdomen. He looked gorgeous. Then they were kissing and Juha couldn’t remember who had made the first move. It was like they’d been drawn together like magnets, mouth finding mouth instinctively and intuitively. Juha put his arms around Adam, clutching at the soft fabric of his t-shirt. Adam smelled like soap and freshly fallen snow. The skin of his neck was soft where Juha’s fingers brushed it lightly.

Juha opened his lips and Adam followed suit, their tongues meeting in a gentle embrace. Kissing him again felt so natural and right. There was no awkwardness, no collision of noses or teeth. They had done this a hundred times last summer and it was as if Juha’s lips remembered. It felt familiar, good, perfect.

A pink tinge had spread across Adam’s cheekbones when they finally broke apart. Juha’s fingers traced the line of them, moving up into soft and silky hair and then down to the nape of Adam’s neck. Releasing a soft sigh, he rested his forehead against Adam’s.

‘Bedroom?’ Adam whispered breathlessly.

He didn’t need to ask twice. Juha stood, taking his hand and leading him toward the bedroom on the other side of the sitting room. Not bothering to turn on the lights, they fell into bed in a tangle of limbs. The slow sureness of their earlier kiss was gone, replaced with frantic groping as they tried to get each other’s clothes off. They didn’t need the light. They knew each other’s bodies well.

Down to just their underwear, Juha ground his hips against Adam’s, kissing a trail from his mouth down to his nipples, taking each into his mouth in turn. The scent of his skin, the ripple of lean muscle under Juha’s tongue, the dusting of brown hair that ran from his bellybutton and down into his boxers, it was all enough to set Juha’s groin on fire. He slid down between Adam’s legs and pulled his boxers down enough to take his dick into his mouth, relishing the taste and the noises Adam made. He didn’t spend long there, however, removing Adam’s boxers completely and spreading his legs apart. He slid his hands in under him, cupping his shapely arse and urging him to raise his hips so he could get at what he wanted.

Adam moaned as Juha’s tongue made contact with his hole. Juha shut his eyes and mimicked the sound. Adam was even hotter than he remembered like this. He bucked his hips, moaned and whimpered as Juha took him apart, opened him up.

‘Oh, fuck,’ Adam swore. ‘Juha, please . . . Please just fuck me!’

Juha didn’t need much persuading. He sat up, wiping his mouth, and reached over to the nightstand, pulling a condom and a bottle of lube from the drawer. He fumbled slightly, his hands shaking with need, but soon he was balls deep in his lover, and Adam was clinging to him, breath coming in hard, ragged pulls.

‘God . . . I’ve missed this,’ Juha managed to say, rolling his hips and smiling as Adam whimpered in response. ‘I’ve missed you. Being with you.’ He paused his movement to brush Adam’s fringe away from his brow, placing a soft kiss there. ‘You know, even if there had been an abundance of willing guys here, I still wouldn’t have,’ he whispered. ‘I think about you all the time.’

Adam pulled him down into a fierce kiss, and Juha began to move again. Raising himself up on his arms, he looked down at Adam’s face in the dim light coming in from the sitting room. The curve of his lips, the arch of his eyebrows, and the shape of his straight nose, all were as he remembered, yet somehow new, and so, so beautiful.

It didn’t take long. It had been long enough for both of them that they didn’t really have all that much stamina. That was okay. They had plenty of time, after all. When he felt himself getting close, Juha reached down between them to stroke Adam’s cock, and Adam came only moments after he did.

Juha collapsed onto Adam’s chest, and Adam ran long fingers through his hair. ‘It’s longer than before,’ he murmured.

‘You should have seen me in my teens,’ Juha mumbled against the crook of his neck. ‘I had hair down to my arse. Straight guys kept accidentally hitting on me cause I looked like a girl from behind.’

Adam laughed. ‘I’ll bet you were gorgeous.’

They lay like that for a while, waiting for their pulses to slow. Finally, Adam said, ‘You know what I’ve missed almost as much as you?’

Juha propped himself up on his elbow and looked down at him, one eyebrow quirked. ‘What?’

‘Sauna,’ Adam replied with a grin.

‘I haven’t got one of my own,’ Juha admitted, ‘but there’s one in the basement. Want me to check if it’s free?’

‘Only if you wanna go too,’ said Adam.

‘I’m always up for a sauna.’ Juha did not feel the need to mention that he had been once today already.

#

An hour later they were sat on the wooden benches of the sauna. Adam sat with his legs apart, leaning forward on his elbows, sweat dripping from the tip of his nose.

‘This,’ he said, ‘is the second best feeling in the world.’

‘Oh?’ Juha smirked. ‘Second to what, exactly?’

Adam glanced at him sideways, mirroring his expression. ‘If I said that out loud, I’d be breaking one of the sacred rules of the sauna, and it might entice you into breaking another.’

Juha laughed. ‘Just don’t fart, and we’ll be okay.’ He threw a ladle of water on the stones and hot steam washed over their bodies, pulling more sweat from their pores. Juha gave a contented sigh.

‘Hey,’ said Adam once the steam had settled. ‘I wanted to tell you something.’

‘Hm?’ Juha had his eyes closed, but opened them to look at Adam.

‘I’ve been thinking about this a lot, and I want to move to Finland.’ Adam straightened up slightly and looked Juha in the eye. ‘I’m still working out the details. I can’t exactly just up and move continents at a moment’s notice. I’m thinking of going to school. Been looking into university degrees and stuff. I just know that I feel at home here. I like the people, the scenery, the culture . . . Hell, even the climate. So . . . What do you think?’

Juha blinked. ‘You . . . You want my opinion?’ A nod. ‘Well, I mean . . . If it’s what you want to do, then you should do it. I . . .’ He looked away, glad that the sauna made his face red enough that Adam wouldn’t be able to tell he was blushing. ‘I’d be lying if I said the thought of having you a little closer to me wasn’t nice.’

‘Yeah.’ Adam smiled. ‘There is that, too. If . . . If I do that, if I move here, do you think . . . Do you think maybe you and I could make a go of it?’

Juha licked his lips and met Adam’s eye. ‘I . . . Yeah. Yeah, I’d like that.’

Adam’s smile widened. ‘For now, I’ll be here until third week of January, so . . . We’ll have some time.’

Juha returned his smile. ‘That’s almost a month.’

Adam nodded. ‘Yup.’

They sat in silence for a few minutes, not really even looking at each other, just enjoying each other’s company and the heat of the sauna. Finally, Adam spoke again.

‘It’s almost Christmas Eve.’ He nodded to the clock on the wall outside, visible through the glass of the sauna door. It had passed eleven. ‘How do you say Merry Christmas in Finnish?’

Juha smiled. ‘Hyvää joulua.’

Adam took a few minutes to get the pronunciation right, repeating the phrase over and over until Juha assured him that his accent wasn’t too hopeless. Then he scooted a little closer, reached up to run his fingers through Juha’s blonde hair, and placed a chaste kiss on his lips. His lips were dry, and his upper lip sweaty, and the kiss tasted salty, but Juha’s heart began to pound all the same.

‘Hyvää joulua, Juha,’ Adam whispered against his lips.

Juha brought their lips together again, thinking that they should probably get out of the sauna soon, before they actually did break a sauna rule. Then he pulled back, smiled and said, ‘Merry Christmas, Adam.’