Noah's Starship - 2. Chapter 2- July

+{Noah’s Starship}+

-+-[July]-+-

 

“Noah! I take that!” Navid took the bag from me as we walked across the steamy cement to the boat landing. He kissed my forehead as he slid the bag from my fingers. I’d taken it from the backseat of his car as he made his way around to open my door. It was my way of showing I didn’t need him treating me like a damsel. He seemed slightly annoyed at my gesture.

 

“We will be on water for a few hours so please go to pee here now,” He said as we paused by a set of public restrooms. I followed him inside and he pointed towards the private stalls, but I joined him at the urinals along the wall which had little dividers between them.

 

“You prefer to use these?” he asked with surprise.

 

“Yeah, I’m… a guy,” I said softly. It was awkward peeing next to him. We hadn’t done that before. He kept his eyes on me and it made it difficult at first. I started to wish I had gone inside one of the stalls, but finally I was able to start as he was shaking off the last of his.

 

“You suck on your lip when you piss,” he noted with that smile that said I fascinated him.

 

“I do? I guess it helps me concentrate when a hot guy is staring at me,” I smiled and tried to look away.

 

We were the last to arrive to the small boat that was kind of like a long table surrounded by a U-shaped bench along the insides of a white shell with a white covering over it. It was filled with 10 guys; some that I recognized and others that I didn’t.

 

The sun was setting over Alamitos Bay as the cool, Pacific breeze swept in. Aram and Bashir were seated on the end of one side and they jumped up with smiles to let us slide in. Navid went in next to another Persian looking guy I didn’t know and then pulled me in close to his side as he greeted the other men on the boat. Aram squeezed in next to me and said something to Navid without acknowledging me.

 

I was starting to get used to being a silent guest among a group of Persian men. I didn’t feel unwelcome and always jumped at the chance to be under Navid’s arm, but they didn’t speak in English to accommodate me. I was not their equal.

 

Navid always looked over to check on me every few minutes, but never apologized for me being left out. This was how things were done in his culture. Sometimes it was just a winking smile and other times he would whisper something sweet in English or offer me a game on his phone. He never said it, but he made it clear he expected me to only communicate with him. It was how things were done. I was not part of the group, but belonged to him.

 

I watched the seabirds swoon down to check out something on the dock and then fly off in uniform urgency as the group of men buzzed on in what sounded like a raucous set of jokes. An older, hispanic man in a tight polo shirt that held in his ample gut as it spilled over his waistline came aboard then and asked if we were all here.

 

He gave us a speech about boat safety and showed Bashir how to work the wheel and accelerate. He pointed out the life preservers packed neatly under our seats and then did a quick lecture about drinking responsibly on the water. He showed us a timer that would beep when we we had fifteen minutes to bring the boat back, and then untied us from the dock and got off. He pushed out boat out into the open water and waved goodbye.

 

Bashir navigated us through the small canals of Naples as the two other non-Persian guys on the boat arose and began to unpack the food. The table soon filled with trays of bakery items, meats, side dishes, and desserts. It hit me that I was non-Persian as well and I tugged at Navid’s shirt and asked if I should help them. Was serving something the silent partners did?

 

“No, my princess, we are guests of this group.” Navid whispered to me. He swiped a finger under my chin and looked at me with a smile like I’d just done or said something unbearably cute. He had started calling me princess. It bothered me somewhat because I am definitely a male with no plans to change that. But I didn’t want to do anything that could change that look of adoration he gave me when he said it. Maybe over time he would move on to another nickname.

 

And so I sat there under his arm as the non-Persians worked and the other men carried on in conversation. They weren’t that old, maybe 30-ish. One was white and the other was kind of white-hispanic looking. They definitely looked gay and had trim bodies that looked like a routine of gym, salon, and shopping. They wore semi-preppy older guy attire; polo shirts tucked into chino shorts with nice belts. Each was attached to an older Persian man, one looked almost 50 but in terrific shape.

 

Navid and I, along with Aram, Bashir and two other guys, were the younger generation on the boat. Then there were the two mixed-raced couples and then another two unattached Persian guys who looked to be mid-30’s.

 

I watched the sun set behind the tightly-packed million-dollar townhouses that lined the canals as they came alive with parties for the evening. We passed other boats like ours, mostly upper-income looking families and one boat loaded with old gays. It was so beautiful to be there under Navid’s arm, his hand rubbing my forearm as plates were passed and food was served.

 

Navid took his arm away as he reached for the stack of plastic plates. He only took one though and then passed it on to Aram on my other side. He lifted off the bench to load the plate with meats, rice and some weird looking bread pocket things. He grabbed a fork and napkin and then settled in with his plate.

 

“I don’t have a plate. Do I wait until you finish? I don’t know how this works,” I whispered to Navid; thinking he had forgotten me.

 

“You are my younger one. I feed you. It is how we do this. The stronger one feeds the weaker.” He turned to me with soft eyes and scooped up some rice.

 

I started to ask what he meant by that, but I already knew. He thought of me as “the weaker.” I guess compared to him, I was. I wanted to tell him that I wasn’t weak and could eat on my own. But every time I had a thought like that, my need for him overrode it. Sometimes the heart is stronger than the brain; love beats pride.

 

“Do you know what any of this is, Noah?” He asked with a laugh.

 

“No, but I’m kinda hungry,” I frowned.

 

“I will guide you through it then. You will like it. Lot of new meat for you to try. I show you how to enjoy.” Navid winked at me.

 

“You are my meat sherpa?” I tried to make a joke.

 

“What’s this mean?” he scrunched up his nose at me.

 

“Sherpa. It was in a story I read. They are like people in the mountains who know dangerous areas and get paid to lead people through them safely,” I explained and realized it wasn’t as funny as it had sounded in my head.

 

He thought about that for a minute and then shook his head in approval.

 

“How much you pay me for services of sherpa? This is not done for free, no?” he lifted a forkful of something that smelled really good and looked like a yellowish rice.

 

“I have no money sir. I’m poor and hungry.” I said with overly dramatic sorrow. His face softened into a smile of pity and he lifted the fork to my lips.

 

“This is chicken with cherry and the rice,” he said as I opened my mouth. I immediately closed it and backed away.

 

“Cherries in chicken? For reals? Wait! Please start with something easy.” I backed away.

 

“You will eat and you will love, my Noah. Is the favorite thing my mother cooked for me when I was home. You trust the no-charge sherpa!,” he pushed the fork at me insistently.

 

I closed my eyes and opened my mouth. He shoved the fork in and I chewed it for a few seconds as the new flavors hit me. It was completely weird but so good. I quickly swallowed the sample.

 

“Oh that is really good!” I said excitedly after finishing. He was finishing his own bite and nodded at me happily.

 

“I sherpa you good! Yes, Noah Kinney?” Navid laughed and looked around his plate for the next item he wanted me to try.

 

“Oh, Peroshki! This is meat and things inside. Very mild, you will enjoy,” he said and picked up a little foldover pastry.

 

He lifted it to my lips and I decided to trust him again. I was rewarded with a bite of delicious. It was again unlike anything I’d tried before and I swallowed with a smile. We went through the rest of the plate like that until I couldn’t eat another bite. Navid was disappointed and commented that I never ate enough, but he finished the plate and then helped himself to seconds.

 

The best part was having his complete focus and attention. We’d spent almost every school night together in my room, but something about being on a boat in the sunset with his friends and food and his eyes on me had my chest filled with butterflies.

 

He finished eating and then passed his plate down to the trash bag at the end of the table. Bashir had settled the boat out in the middle of the bay which was quickly filling up with other boaters getting ready to watch the fireworks.

 

Navid took his arm from around me and reached for one of the bags we had brought. He pulled out a small paper box that looked like a mini version of one of those chinese take-out containers you see in movies. It was folded securely and had “Happy Birthday” written on the side of it.

 

“Whose birthday is it?” I asked and looked around the table for a cake.

 

“It is for you,” he smiled as he held it up to me in his palm.

 

“My birthday was in February,” I thought back to my party where Erik had tried to get me alcohol, but my dad hadn’t left us alone the entire night.

 

“It is your country’s birthday, Noah Kinney! July the 4th. You should know these things as US native!” Navid shook his head with frustration.

 

“I know, but uh… But why give me the gift?” I bit my lip in anticipation.

 

“It is my culture’s tradition to give gift to favorite person for their country’s birthday!” Navid insisted excitedly.

 

“No it isn’t!” Aram interrupted loudly and earned a glare from Navid.

 

Navid yelled something at him in Persian and pushed Aram on the shoulder. Aram just rolled his eyes, winked at me, and turned his back towards us.

 

“Can I open it, please?” I reached for the gift.

 

“I don’t know. You forget your country’s birthday. You deserve present for this?” he smiled again.

 

“Please, sir? I promise next year I’ll remember and get America something nice.” I begged.

 

He slid his palm towards me to present the gift. I took the beautiful little box. It was so light in my hand that I thought it was empty. I carefully peeled back the flaps, and found a mess of white paper strips crinkled together. I dug through it but found nothing.

 

“The gift of paper, thank you,” I beamed.

 

Navid rolled his eyes with a laugh and snatched the box back. He dug into the tight packing and pulled out the ends of a silver chain. He kept pulling at it painfully slow until the other side came out and showed a small silver pendant.

 

“I had this made special for you so you don’t forget my name,” he held it up.

 

“I couldn’t forget your name if I tried. It is the my favorite word in your language!” I touched the pendant and noticed the little clouds coming from the bottom of the rocket looked like the Persian script he writes in. “It says a word!” I exclaimed as I touched the bottom of it.

 

“It is my name, Navid. You will have me on your heart. As long as you wear it, I will know I am only one in your heart and you are the only boy in mine,” he whispered it to me and his cheeks blushed. It was private and just for us to share. He was putting his heart out there for me.

 

I felt my heart race happily and my stomach twisted like it was dancing. I wanted to cry, kiss him, and then cry some more as my smile spread to match his. I fought hard against it. I leaned in to him wanting a kiss. I started to close my eyes but then felt his hand gently touch my cheek. He rubbed a thumb over my lips.

 

“Not here, Noah,” he whispered to me with gentle pleading. “That is for private, ok?”

 

He mouthed, “I’m sorry,” with a look of guilt.

 

I nodded as he softly rubbed my lips to show me that he wished he could kiss me as well. It hurt to see how torn he was here. It was so strange to me to hide how we felt.

 

I didn’t grow up ashamed of liking boys. My father figured me out long before I knew myself. It wasn’t something he talked about directly, but when we were out and about in Los Angeles, he would point out when two men were holding hands or showing affection and say something like, “Some guys like guys, and some girls like girls and that’s ok. It’s just how they are.”

 

My dad didn’t want me to feel awkward or ashamed. When we saw hateful things on the news, he would explain to me that some cultures weren’t ok with guys and girls showing their love, but that the world was changing. We needed to give them time and be happy that we lived in California. When I got to high school and found out there was an LGBT student club, he encouraged me to join it and even went to all of our family events and fundraisers.

 

I’d never actually told my dad that I was gay. He made it so that I didn’t have to. I guessed that Navid’s culture was very different, and I knew my dad would say what he always said about other cultures, “The world is made up of different beliefs and ways of being. Just because something is different doesn’t make it better or worse than how we do things. I raised you to stop, observe, and think about it before you decide if it works for you.”

 

I would be patient with how Navid did things. Maybe he would do the same for me. He put the necklace over my head and tucked it inside my t-shirt. He gave it a pat through my shirt and nodded happily.

 

“You are mine,” he said once more and my face lit up again. He wasn’t asking. He was claiming. He stopped for a minute like he was deciding something and then he gave my forehead a quick kiss before looking around to see if anyone had noticed. I didn’t check.

 

“I am yours,” I echoed.

 

I hated that he was struggling between what he wanted to do with me and what his culture would allow of him. In private, he never struggled for even a second with kissing me or putting his hands wherever he desired. I was his boy to touch and care for. But around his friends he had a different set of rules. Even though his culture seemed very comfortable with male to male contact, it never included lips touching skin.

 

For the first time in my life I wished I could be a girl, but maybe then he wouldn’t want to touch me at all.

He slid his arm around me then and went back to the table conversation as I laid back into his aura and put my hand over the outline of the rocket on my chest. His tone returned to the carefree, confident man as he spoke with the other guys. He was just a regular Persian with his younger friend to care for. I was happy to see his struggle allayed.

 

One of the older white guys who was seated across and down from us caught my eye as I happily squeezed my new rocket. When our eyes met, he had this smile that said he had seen the whole thing and was happy for me. I blushed a little and looked down at my lap. He didn’t try to make conversation and I wondered if he was as happy as I was to sit quietly in his man’s shadow. Would that be my future?

 

My wandering thoughts came back to the present as the booms of July the fourth began to fill the dark, night sky. Navid squeezed me with an excited “Oh!” or “Yeah!” every time another rocket went off and he pointed at them and touched my chest. He told me the ones on the left were from Los Angeles and the right was probably Huntington Beach or somewhere in Orange County. Between the two big shows were a million little flutters of neighborhood kids and small city shows.

 

“That one in the center there is Disneyland! See? Mickey!” Navid yelled and his cheerful awe made him seem like a little boy.

 

It reminded me of the Fourth when I was young and very sick and my dad made me hot chocolate and wrapped me in blankets. He drove us up to a secret parking spot on the city-side of the Hollywood Hills where a house had recently been demolished. We just hung out in the car listening to patriotic music as the city exploded in front of us. It was so amazing and I was happy to be there wrapped up next to my hero. Just like then, I was once again wrapped up safely, next to my hero.

 

I shivered as the night air turned icy. Without a word, Navid unzipped his hoodie and insistently slid it over me like a blanket. I inhaled his scent along the collar and my body filled with the remnants of his warmth. He pulled me against his chest again as a yellow trail of lights splattered across the sky with a loud boom and formed into a smiley face.

 

“So awesome, Noah! Happy birthday, America!” He was definitely more excited about the fireworks than I was, but then again HE didn’t have a strong, beautiful man holding him tightly for distraction.

 

“Does Iran do this too? The fireworks for independence?” I asked.

 

“We don’t celebrate America’s birthday in Iran… unless you go to an American-theme restaurant.” He smiled; always joking.

 

“No, but for Iran’s birthday!” I poked his chest.

 

“April 1st usually for your calendar. Our revolution day. Yes, we do this, but in many years it is not so big.” Navid didn’t seem to want to elaborate on that and I let it drop. We settled in quietly oohing and ahhing with each burst.

 

Aram had been mostly quiet on my other side, but for some reason he and Bashir started joking around loudly and wrestling each other. They were laughing so I could tell it was happy, but when Aram knocked into me, Navid put a stop to it. He said something harsh to them in Persian and then pulled me over onto his lap.

 

Everyone was watching the fireworks so Navid seemed ok with this level of affection. He hugged me back against his chest and I felt his lump growing under my butt. His lips touched my neck and I turned back to look at him.

 

“They will see us,” I whispered, reminding him of the rules he was playing by.

 

Navid gave a small pouty look. “They are distraction by the show! Is dark now. No one notices us. You don’t want me?”

 

“Of course I do… Anywhere and anytime. I’ve never not wanted you,” I said incredulously and felt his hand rub up under my shirt. He pet my tummy in slow circles that made my body tense and shiver as soft noises escaped my lips.

 

The white guy caught my eye again and I turned back to Navid blushing in shame. “He’s watching,” I whispered.

 

“I know. He’s wondering what it must feel like to be such a beautiful boy; the boy everyone here would fight to have in his arms. Don’t pop his balloon. He will go home tonight and do wonderful things to please his man because he is worked up from watching a fantasy boy all night,” Navid bit at my earlobe as the booming went on over the bay.

 

By the time the fireworks found their big finish, Navid had a firm tool lodged along the middle of my ass. The attention had returned from the show to the other guests on the boat and Navid was a little late stopping his nibbles along my neck. We were definitely the new show going on and I opened my eyes to see everyone watching us. His cock was at full growth by that time and he’d slid it out of his pants and had been rubbing it against my back. Luckily no one else could see that.

 

I turned my face and buried it against his shoulder as Navid awakened to the fact that the fireworks were over.

 

“Oh,” I heard him gasp softly, but he couldn’t slide me off of him. Everyone would have seen his full and proud beast.

 

“My boy is very cold and does not feel well. His first time on the water. I try to steady him so he does not get sicker from the waves,” he said in English maybe so that I would understand and play along. “Perhaps we head back to shore now?”

He rubbed his hand soothingly over my chest to show the others he wasn’t lying. I coughed a few times to add to his story and tried to look forlorn.

“The poor boy does look unhappy, our time is nearly up anyways. You must put him to bed soon,” One of the Persian men said in a tone that sounded like he was the leader of this group.

“Of course. I will have him in bed as soon as we reach home,” Navid assured and I turned my face to his chest so they couldn’t see me smirk. He hugged me tightly and put a hand to the back of my hair.

“Take us back in, Bashir,” the leader said.

“Please don’t move, or my cock will never go down,” Navid whispered against my ear as I was squirming to compensate for the lump I was precariously balanced on. “Fuck, you feel so good in my arms.” He kept his grip on me and I knew he wasn’t going soft any time soon.

+++

We made it back to the boat landing and Navid slid me off his lap after wrestling his cock back into his shorts. He put the bag in his lap as I used his hoodie to cover my own.

We all filed out of the boat and on to the dock. Navid said our goodbyes while holding the bag as I stood by his side. The men made no moves to address me and Navid made no moves towards the other two non-Persians. It was like we were ghosts; secret companions openly displayed. Aram and Bashir came up next to us and Aram put his hand on my shoulder and nodded at me. He could see Casper.

“I can’t be done for the night... I need you more,” Navid said as we walked out of sight of the others with his hand holding mine. He paused next to a dimly lit building and pulled me into the shadows. He pushed me against the wall and leaned in to kiss me.

“I would love to… but you told my dad you would have me back by 10:30 and we still have to drive back to the valley,” I reasoned when we broke the kiss. He grabbed my hand silently and led me to the car.

“I will arrange it! You get inside and warm yourself.” He looked like he had an idea.

Navid whipped out his cell phone as he opened the car door for me. I heard him greet my father and then he closed the door on me as he went to put the bag in the trunk. I watched him punch something on his car key and the engine roared to life. I turned on the heater as he pace around the parking lot in front of his car for a few minutes nodding and smiling.

It felt really odd to have the two men in my life deciding whether or not I would have sex that night. I’m positive Navid didn’t mention sex to my father, but I also knew my father was completely aware that our friendship had taken a more romantic road. I’d also told my dad about Navid liking me. So yeah… it was a bit awkward.

I saw him give one last happy nod and then he came towards the car with a big happy grin. He slid into the driver’s seat and passed his phone to me.

“Hi dad... Yes! It was fun… No, I didn’t get seasick… Yes, I ate dinner. It was good… No, of course no alcohol! Navid either… I can?... Yes, it’s ok… See you tomorrow… I love you too, dad.” I hung up and passed Navid back his phone with a smile.

My dad had gone to a party at an old friend’s house and actually sounded excited that he could get drunk and spend the night there rather than stay sober and drive home in time to be there when Navid would have been dropping me off. He never acted like he minded being the responsible, good parent. He’d always said it was the greatest part of his life. But when I could give him a night to be irresponsible and not worry about me, it felt good.

Navid raced back to the freeway and was driving with urgency as I rubbed at his bulge. When we got a few miles back towards LA there was a wreck closing off some of the inside lanes so he jumped onto an exit ramp and then did some quick turns to get around the backup. I’m not sure it was legal, but we had a need for each other that clearly warranted a police escort back to his house.

“Ahh, Noah, Fuck! Please stop. I am so close,” He pushed my hand off of his lap where I was rubbing along the mighty trunk. “I want to save it for home so I can take care of your needs too. I could finish quickly a thousand times with your touch. You feel so good, my love.”

I pouted from the passenger seat, but then realized it was too dark for him to tell. I leaned over the center console and put my head against his shoulder as he shifted and zigged around cars.

As we zoomed through Santa Monica, I realized just how rarely I ever left my little valley. I’d certainly never been on a boat, either. He treated my great big world like it was just a small, little piece. He’d talked about going to New York and Rome and all of the crazy places as though they were just a few more bus stops from home. To him it was nothing to drive down to Long Beach and go out on a boat for the evening. I felt inadequate, provincial.

As my ears popped on our descent back into the valley, I caught his eyes under the glow of the freeway lights as we hit a backup on the downhill. He winked as he shifted and zoomed into an open spot in the lane that was moving better.

“I wait for you all week, My Noah.” Navid started as his eyes turned to the road ahead of us.

“What do you mean?” I asked and laid my head against his shoulder.

“It is so hard to have you on my chest every night and not explore you because your father is there. It is so hard to fall asleep at night with the ghost of your touch against my chest and my arms aching to hold you; to hold what is mine. But it would be of great disrespect to take you in his home when he does not give consent for us to be a couple. It is hard to know you are not mine completely, but some day you will be.” Navid said as he exited and turned up Ventura.

“I never stop thinking about you. I spend the whole night with you in my dreams and hugging the pillow where you laid your head just to breathe you in,” I said and let my hand slide back down over his bulge. He hadn’t lost an ounce of fullness in it.

“Come,” he said as he pulled into his driveway and quickly turned off the engine. “We have time alone now.”

He pulled me out of the car and up to the house, leaving the bag in his car for the urgency of now. He unlocked the door and then pushed me against it and buried his lips on mine for all of the quiet, dark neighborhood to enjoy. He turned the knob and caught me before I could fall back. His arm slid around me and he pulled me up into him as his tongue wrestled mine.

I climbed him like a tree and put my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. He held me with one arm across my back and his ample bulge for my perch. He walked me in and then closed the door behind us and locked it. He leaned back against it as I held onto him and our lips worked in synch.

“I need you now, princess. I want so bad to be inside you, but I will take your mouth instead until you are ready,” Navid growled as he broke the kiss that left me hard and dripping in his arms.

He set me down on my feet and then took my hand and led me through to his bedroom. He went into the small bathroom and turned on the shower before coming back out to kiss me more. He slid his hands up under my shirt and tweaked my nipples roughly as his lips traveled down my jawline.

My eyes closed at his passion as my skin warmed at his touch. He slid my shirt off and then tossed it across the room to a small chair already piled with laundry. He fumbled with the buttons on my jeans as he kissed down my neck and found a few ticklish spots along my collarbone.

“My delicate princess,” he mumbled as I squirmed and laughed when he hit my weak points.

“That tickles,” I whispered as his lips made slow sweeps across my shoulder. He looked up at me with wide, dark eyes and his lips turned up to smile. His hands reached into the back of my opened jeans and slid inside the waistband of my briefs. He took hold of my cheeks and squeezed and kneaded them roughly.

“This is mine,” he claimed as his eyes looked at me with hunger. “No one else touch here, ok?”

“Yes sir,” I affirmed and was rewarded with a pleased smile. He used his leg to push my jeans to my feet as he stretched my briefs with his hands pawing desperately at my ass. I felt a finger rub down and over my hole as he walked me back towards the bathroom. I shuffled with him as my ankles were nearly bound by my jeans. I used my right shoe to push off the left one and vice versa until I could step out of my jeans and leave them on his floor.

“I want so bad to open you up for my seed,” he whined as he slid one hand out of my briefs and opened the fly on his own shorts. The other hand was holding my butt as he poked a finger into my dry, but willing hole. He pushed his shorts and boxers down to the floor and his cock flopped out between us. I grabbed for it and just one pump of the shaft rewarded my palm with his sticky precum.

"What if it’s too big? Maybe I need a starter Persian.” I mused and leaned into him as he laid back against the door frame. It was a serious question and he took his lips off of me to address my worry.

“A starter Persian?” He laughed. “That would be the easy way, but I can’t even think about anyone else taking my boy. No, this is for me only. I promise you will enjoy the journey.”

Navid pushed me back gently then and slid off his shirt. He tossed it to join mine and then took off his shoes and socks. I stood there cold and tenting my briefs as I watched him. I loved seeing him naked.

His strong, furry chest moved like gears on a machine as he bent and stretched with well-developed arms. His stomach wasn’t exactly rock hard, but he had some good definition. And his ass, that beautiful ass that he wasn’t comfortable with me touching. He had strong cheeks from a good routine at the gym. They were sprinkled with his dark hair and from behind it was a heart-shaped masterpiece.

He kicked the pile of clothes and shoes to the side and then took my hand and led me towards the shower. I followed behind him as his ass cheeks lifted in turn with each step. He tested the water to make sure it was warm for us and then turned to me and pushed my briefs down. I stepped out of them and he pulled back the shower curtain for me to step in.

“Ah! Ah! Ah!” A rush of steamy water hit me and I jumped to the side as Navid quickly reached to adjust it.

“Sorry, sorry. So delicate,” he exclaimed with a guilty smile.

“No, it’s just super hot,” I protested and let my skin adjust as the water cooled to less than boiling.

Navid bounced in after me with his big floppy cock and reached for the soap off of a small dish suctioned to the white tile wall. He brought me into him with a hand to the back of my head. He laced his fingers through my hair and pulled me in for a kiss as he rubbed the soap down my back. He let his lips travel to my chin and then up my jaw before deciding to land on my shoulder as he rubbed the soap down to my ass.

He chewed on my shoulder as his cock crept up against my tummy. He started to hump against me as I reached for it. He rubbed the soap over my hole a few times as he bit softly against the nape of my neck as he pressed my face against his chest.

“Fuck my new little pink hole is so tight and just for me,” he mumbled into my ear as his lips pinched my lobe. It made me squirm and moan against his chest and he took advantage of my breathing to slide his finger inside of me.

“You want me inside you, sweet one? You want a man to seed you?” He breathed against my ear and then traced his tongue around it.

“Yes sir,” I whined against his chest as his nipple found my lips. He poked the soapy finger against my hole but it protested his entrance.

“So fucking tight, my virgin boy,” he laughed and pulled my face away from his chest so I could see his joy.

“I love you so much,” he said as his eyes narrowed. “You are my world.”

“I love…” I started to say, but he pulled me into his kiss then. He didn’t need the affirmation. He needed my lips. He poked insistently at my hole for a few more minutes as his other hand took the soap and rubbed along my back. His tongue explored my mouth as we kissed and his rock hard cock humped away at my tummy.

He pushed me off as he gasped for air and I stumbled back against the cool, wet tile. I didn’t fall though. He grabbed my arm in time and set me on my feet. I was so weakened by his touch, his lips, his finger, his control. I looked up at him in pitiful exhaustion as my hard cock thumped on its own.

“I finish to clean you,” he said and pulled me back against him. He spun me around and rubbed the soap over my front and then soaped himself up. He squirted shampoo into my hair and worked it with his fingers like I was his prize puppy readying for the competition. He washed me all the way down to my toes.

“I love you too,” I finally said as he rinsed me and turned me back to face him.

“I know you do. You are my princess,” he said and touched a finger to the pendant on my chest where he had placed it. He turned the water off and then hopped out of the shower and brought us towels. He dried himself quickly as I tried to keep up.

I watched his muscled ass grind as he walked back out to the bathroom. I hung up my towel and followed him out. He sat on the edge of the bed and put his phone into a speaker cradle as soft music filled the room. He patted his thigh as I came out and I walked towards him. He sat there watching me as his fat cock laid against his blanket between his legs. I came towards him and he pulled me to stand between his knees.

“My baby is so beautiful,” he said and leaned forward to kiss my nipples. He sucked and bit at them until they puffed up in irritation and hardened. I felt my legs go weak and his hands grabbed onto my ass to steady me.

“So pink and soft, little nipples on my princess.” He looked up at me with fascination and his hands roughly squeezed my ass cheeks as his finger pointed through to rub my hole. He went back to my nipples and twisted each one between his teeth.

“Uh! Ow!” I whined as he got too rough with them.

“I forget, my delicate princess.” He looked up at me with a smile and wide, dark eyes. I put my finger to his lips and he kissed it and then rubbed his beard against it.

“I’m not so delicate,” I protested though I didn’t want him to go rougher on me. It brought a smile to his lips and he put his bearded chin to my left nipple and scraped it back and forth until I winced and tried to pull away.

“It is ok, my Noah. You can be delicate with me. I take care of my baby.” He gave a soft kiss to my tender nipple and then licked it.

I put my hand on the back of his head and rubbed his hair as he brushed his big, brown nose across my chest. He bent his head up towards me and pursed his lips in needy lust. I leaned down to him and kissed his lips as his finger rubbed lightly over my hole.

He pulled me down to his lap as he kept his lips on mine and I sat awkwardly on his right thigh with my face turned to him. He steadied me with a hand on my back as his other rubbed up my thigh and pressed below my nuts. My cock was rock hard and bouncing just inches above his hand as he rubbed. He never paid attention to it; it was a gray area he didn’t acknowledge.

He pushed me back then and lowered me to the bed. My head landed against his pillow. He pushed my legs back so my knees went into my chest and they spread open before him. He took my hand and put it on my balls and told me to pull them back. I did so my cock was out of the way for him.

“That hole, Noah. So pink and needy for its owner’s touch. You don’t play with it?” Navid asked. I shook my head no.

“Good, save it for me, yes? Save it for my expert touch so you do not hurt it. When you are young and delicate, you don’t know how to open it for pleasure. I will show you how good it can feel.” He leaned down to whisper to me and then kissed my cheek.

“Have you um… opened a lot of them?” I asked and instantly knew it was a stupid question. Of course he had experienced things. He was 25 and knew about the world.

“Is not a question you ask of me, Noah.” He replied flatly.

“I just mean like, with girls? or guys? You’ve done that?” I asked. God, why wasn’t I shutting up? His face darkened with frustration.

“When I am with my baby, I only think of us. I hope you only think of me. Do not ask questions like this. It is not something a boy asks of his man. Yes?” He put a finger to my lips as he said this with a bit of harshness to his tone. He was patient, but let me know I was outside the limits.

I nodded, “Sorry.”

Navid’s smile returned and he kissed me softly leaving with a playful bite to my lower lip. He raised off of me and then put two fingers to my lips and pushed them through. I sucked on them as he rubbed them around my mouth to collect as much spit as I could produce.

He slipped them from my lips, leaving a trail of my spit down over my chin. It dripped onto my chest as he brought them down and over my tummy. He put one to my hole and pressed against the ring. It resisted his touch and I squirmed a bit. He rubbed my stomach with his other hand and made soft “shh” noises to me.

“Open for me, baby. Breathe in,” he said and pressed his hand down against my tummy. I breathed in and felt him push into me.

“Ahh!” I gasped as it felt so tight inside me. He only had it to the first knuckle and he kept his eyes on me, watching for pain or pleasure.

“It so beautiful down here,” he said when he took his eyes off me to look down at my hole.

“My little princess, so pink and smooth,” He rubbed my tummy appreciatively as he wormed his finger into me. He made it to the second knuckle when I started to protest and squirm.

“Ow,” I mouthed in muted discomfort. My legs were up in the air and spread for him. He kissed at the heel of my right foot and then kissed up the bottom of it. His lips found my toes then and he sucked in the big one. He licked at it and kissed it and then traced his tongue between my toes, kissing and sucking on each one to distract me.

“Tickles,” I laughed and he looked down at me with a smile.

“Beautiful little toes, my Noah. Such a perfect boy,” he approved. He kept up his worship of my right foot and then moved on to the left one as his hand rubbed my tummy gently and his finger worked deeper inside me. It felt so weird having something in there. He was touching the right spots and it was starting to feel good.

“Uhhh,” I started to change from discomfort to pleasure as he expertly wiggled around inside me. I felt him slide his finger all the way in. It was thick and rough like a man should be. The hair on the back of his fingers prickled my sensitive hole as he twisted it around and tried to pry me open for later use.

My cock was rock hard and though I held it back against my stomach, it bumped and rubbed against my palm as he started to slide his finger in and out of me.

“Uhhh!” I repeated a little louder as he started to slide faster and rougher at my hole.

“Fuck,” I whimpered into my bicep as I turned my head to the side from the rush of pleasure working through me. My cock was sliding against my palm as I pulled back my nuts with my fingers and started to rub them.

“I try two now,” Navid said in a slow monotone and I turned back to look at him. He was studying me methodically as he slid the finger from my hole. His look was intent, with a slight edge of pleasure. He was determined to do this thoughtfully and carefully.

“I don’t want to hurt my boy. Is important that your body recognize my touch as for pleasure and not hurt to you. You will tell me if feels good or bad.” He instructed me as he raised the spit-shined fingers. He pulled a towel from the bed beside me and wiped them dry and then fished a small bottle of lube from the bedside table.

“This will help to slide in easy, but you will tell me if feels good, yes? I mean it, Noah. This can hurt if you are not honest.” He looked at me with seriousness.

“Yes sir,” I nodded and bit my lip with a laugh.

“I serious, Noah, baby.” Navid gave my ass a rough smack and then rubbed it. He lipped at my big toe on my right foot and then smiled at me.

I erased my smile and nodded with a serious look. “Serious time, got it.” I affirmed.

He put two fingers to my lips again and pushed them through with an admonishment to get them wet for my “baby pussy.” I sucked on him and rubbed my cock which was full and thumping with anticipation.

“You want me inside you, sweet boy?” He whispered to me and gave a dude nod with his eyes narrowed on me. He used his other hand to grip my jaw and bring my eyes up to meet his.

“Yem Mir,” I mumbled around his fingers that were diving for the back of my throat. He pushed in too far and I gagged and my body convulsed before he pulled back and wiped the spitty fingers over my chin. He pumped his fingers a few more times and then pushed towards my throat one last time to check my reflex. I gagged and my eyes watered as he nodded approval.

“Your delicate throat has not yet tasted the cock that will own it, my sweet one.” He leaned down and kissed my cheek. His words were a mix of sweet and rough that left my cock dripping a few spurts of precum over my tummy.

“I need it,” I whined as he pulled his fingers from my throat and then traced a spit trail down my tummy, around my cock, and across my thigh. He put two fingers to my hole and stacked them on top of each other as he put slow, persistent pressure.

“Ah, Ahhh!” I started to whine as I felt my breath escape me.

“I haven’t yet put them in!” He laughed incredulously. “You need something to take your mind away from this.”

“Like what?” I bit my lip and looked at him. He crawled up on his knees and then laid out next to me on the bed in the opposite direction. He put his cock right near my face. It was full and hard with a drop of precum sitting on the tip.

“You suck. I work! Fair trade!” He used his free hand to grab his cock and he started to smack it against my smile and then poked at my nose with it. I was hit with the smell of his salty precum. I turned towards it and took his cock from his hand. I gripped the shaft with both of my hands and turned on my side so I could see it eye-to-eye.

“It’s so huge. I always forget how big it is,” I said and licked my tongue up the shaft. The precum drop bubbled larger and I caught it with my tongue before it slid down the head. I sucked it in and then put my lips to the tip of his cock.

I’m not a cocksucker. I’ve seen it done in online clips so I know how it goes, but this was not a starter cock. His long, thick, brown cock pulsed as I kissed the tip. I gripped it firmly and pumped it in a slow rhythm as it continued to drizzle his seed into my mouth. I’d let go of my own cock and it thumped happily against his chest as he pushed my legs up to get at my hole.

He pressed his fingers against the hole, but it wasn’t ready yet.

“So tight! Too tight. I start slower!” He commented in his thick, Persian accent… and then I felt what would become my favorite thing in the world. His tongue licked around my hole, circling its prey lightly. He touched each little nerve ending and lit each one up in a trail of fire.

“Ahhh! Fuck Oh My fuck!” I let go of his cock as my head fell back against the pillow he’d put there for me.

“That hurt too?” He tore his lips away and exclaimed.

“No, no, don’t stop, no, keep going please!!” I started to whine. He returned, this time his lips kissing at the ring and his tongue pushing inside me. My eyes started to flutter back and I reached down to rub my cock. It pulsed happily at the new sensation and I felt the cum rising up.

“I’m gonna cum, uhhh!” I warned with barely seconds to spare. He pulled his lips off of my ass and I saw him look up to watch me in disappointment.

“No, not yet,” he implored. But the damage was done. My body started to shake and squirm as my cock throbbed and started sending cum all over my chest and his thighs.

“Sorry, I. Uhhh! I can’t stop it! Ahhh!” I felt bad and saw him shrug helplessly. But then he went back to sucking and tonguing my hole and my cum intensified.

I reached down and put my hand on the back of his head, pulling his hair between my fingers as his tongue slid inside me and worked me like a puppet. I was still shooting, shaking, shouting, and he kept on licking me expertly.

“Ahhh! Fuh! Navid! I love you baby!” I called out and jerked at his thick cock.

“Uhh mmm uhh!” He replied with his lips against my hole. The vibrations of his muffled voice just pushed me farther and I pushed hard on the back of his head as my cock kept shooting all over us.

I fought to stay still as I shot since his head was down there and I got this crazy thought I might hurt him, but it felt like when you’re out too far in the ocean and the waves knock you around without control. He rubbed a hand over my tummy and that let loose another wave as my cock continued to send shots up my chest. He rubbed the cum in as I settled down and tried to regain my breath.

“Sorry, sorry. I couldn’t stop it. That feels so good,” I mumbled as my eyes rolled back and my chest heaved for breath.

“I am good with this, no?” He said it matter of factly as he pulled off of my hole and gave it one last kiss.

“Yes, very very good.” I assured.

“I love the little pink hole. I come to this country in search of it,” he joked.

“What? For real?” I laughed and rubbed his black hair. I’d messed it up pretty good and he looked up at me with a pleased smile.

“Well… business degree, but now seeing the beautiful hole my baby has and know it is just for me…. So perfect, my boy.” He leaned in and kissed it again.

“I came,” I observed.

“And still you are hard and beg for me,” he replied. He leaned in again and slid his tongue back into me as I laid there sweaty and breathless.

“Yeah… I am ready to go again. But now I want you to… uhhh! to cum,” my body was indeed still begging for his tongue, his touch. He rubbed the mess of cum over my tummy and then brought his hand up my face.

I tasted my seed. It wasn’t like his. Mine was lighter and sweeter. Even my cum knew he was the dominant male here. I tasted myself often. It’s the easiest way to clean up, but I kept alternating between licking his hand and licking his cock. He was the definite winner in the taste test but I wanted to just get back to shoving the head of his cock into my mouth.

“Mmmm!” I mouthed happily around his cock when I went back for it. It was thick and stretched my jaw. I was fascinated by it and worried I could never make him feel like he deserved.

I tried to fit as much as I could inside me, but I barely got down to the shaft. Unsatisfied with my efforts, Navid put his hand to the back of my head and urged me gently forward. He laced his fingers through my hair and started to gently push and pull on me.

His tip hit the back of my throat when he pushed me down too far and I gagged and sputtered on it. It was full and thick and I wanted so desperately to make him feel as good as he did for me.

He let go of my hair and put a finger to my jaw. He pushed me off his cock and lifted my face so our eyes met. My eyes were watering, but I sniffed back bravely.

“It is too much for you,” he noted. “You will get used to it though.”

“I can do it.” I insisted. He kept his finger on my jaw, but I nudged away from it and went back to his cock. I shoved his tip in with determination and looked up at him with my mouth stuffed. He sucked in sharply as I started to bob on the tip.

“That’s my good baby,” he nodded at me and his face contorted in pleasure. I started to push deeper onto him and gripped his shaft to pump it.

Satisfied that I could meet his needs, he went back to work on my hole. I felt his tongue slide in and then his finger poked in next to it. His tongue distracted my hole from the fullness of his finger as he pulled gently to open me.

My cock sprang up to full mast again and I used my free hand to jerk it slowly. The previous cum hadn’t totally dried yet and I squished it around my hard shaft. I was getting adjusted to his cock in my mouth and I started to ease it in and out faster.

“That feels so good baby,” I heard Navid say as his tongue slid out of me. He eased in a second finger and kissed softly up my thigh.

He sat up and kept slowly pushing the two fingers inside me. He leaned over me to watch as I tried to make sense of his cock. He used his free hand to push back my hair and pet me gently as I bobbed on his cock.

“You feel so good, my princess. Worship that cock while I spread your little hole. So beautiful,” he praised as he pushed me deeper onto his cock.

“I so close to filling you with the seed you work so hard for.” Navid was breathing hard and encouraging me as he rubbed my hair.

He was distracting me with his cock and adoration as he worked two fingers inside me. I was so focused on fitting him in, I’d lost focus on what he was doing down there until he hit a new spot inside me and my whole body twitched at the new sensation.

“Ahhh!” I pulled off his cock and my eyes fluttered up to the ceiling.

“Oh! Noah! I hurt you?” He stopped worming his fingers in me and looked down at me with sorrow like he’d just been punched.

“No… woah… that’s… fucking… yeah…” I laid back and felt like my cock was about to shoot again.

“Oh! You like!” His face turned back to happy and he started to move his fingers in me again in a twirling rhythm. He rubbed each of the two fingertips in turn over that spot again and again as my body reacted wildly.

“Uhhh!” I was jerking his cock fast as he massaged my new favorite spot with expert motion.

“I’m going to cum again,” I whined as he kept it up.

“I will join you soon, my love.” He rubbed his left hand over my tummy as his other one played my hole.

“Uhhh fuck! Fuck! Naviiii!” I was losing all control and my body started to twist and jerk again as I held onto his cock to ground me.

“Yeah, I cum, Noah!” Navid growled and laid back against the bed as I jerked his cock. I turned to face it as I started to shoot cum again. I put my lips to his cock and swallowed what I could as his cock started to shoot in my mouth. I felt thick globs of his salty cum hit against my throat as I covered my chest with my second round.

“Fuck, Noah. Take it all my baby,” his voice went down an octave in this primal growl as his hand found the back of my head while I started to swallow his seed.

“Swallow me baby… Take it… yeah… so good.” Navid encouraged in between grunts.

He shot a lot, but I guess it had built up over the last three hours of me playing with it. It leaked out around his shaft and I felt like it was going to start coming out my nose as he pumped everything his deep wells could deliver. I wasn’t sure where my breath was coming from.

“Yeah… uhhhh...” He rubbed my cheek as he watched me fill with his seed. He pushed against it and a glob of his cum sputtered out and down my chin. He laughed and pushed me off of him.

“You are full,” he mused between gulps of air. I was gasping for air myself as his cum dribbled down my neck.

“Uh huh.” I nodded and collapsed back against his pillow. His cock was still hard and I watched the last pearl of his cum bubble up and slide down his shaft. I swallowed what was in my mouth and licked around my lips to draw in what I could. He rubbed my thigh and sucked on the toes of my right foot. It tickled but my body was too spent to react. I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

I woke a few minutes later as he was trying to lift me off his bed. I raised up and he pulled me to my feet and then kissed me sweetly. He led me to the shower and cleaned me all over again.

“I hope you no to be angry for me,” Navid said with a yawn as he handed me a towel. His English was fading with his energy.

“What? Why?” I asked and tried not to laugh at his loss of English.

“I take clothes last time I am at your room. I know you will future stay to here with me,” He went for the top drawer of his chest and pulled out a pair of my briefs and a t-shirt. He handed them to me and then pulled out the little running shorts I hadn’t worn since high school track.

“You stole my clothes? When?” I laughed and pictured him crawling in my window dressed in black and sneaking around my room.

“Last week. You left to pee and I just look around your room and decide you will need clothes at my house.” Navid pulled on a pair of boxers and watched me as I dressed.

“I buy you toothbrush equipment also!” He remembered suddenly and went back into the bathroom. He retrieved a small plastic package and opened it to show me the new toothbrush. He was so excited that his preparations had paid off. We brushed our teeth together and he stood behind me and posed in the mirror to make me laugh.

We were so tired when we made it to bed that we missed a bit of the magic of falling asleep together. I laid on his chest first, but then he turned me onto my side so he could hold me from behind.

He jumped up suddenly and I watched him run out of the room in a pair of fresh, flannel boxers. He came back a few minutes later with bottles of water and some kind of snack wrapped in a paper towel. He locked his door and told me to not leave his room without him.

“You pee in there and here is water. Are you hungry for anything? I have snack here if you wish for it. My phone is here if you wake up before me and need a game to play. But do not go out of my room please.” He set the items down on the bedside table and then hopped over me and slid under the covers to spoon me again.

“You’re so beautiful, my Noah. Even the boy of my dreams before I come to here was not half as perfect as you. You make me so happier than anything.” He kissed the back of my neck as I closed my eyes. His body was a furnace and I felt his pulse through his arms as he hugged me tightly. It lulled me to sleep quickly in his warm cocoon.

“I love you too,” I mumbled as I drifted off with my head against his bicep.

+++

The next two weeks went by as we fell into a routine of him coming over every night to “study,” and us sneaking sex time on Saturday and Sunday. He started picking me up for school in the morning after he declared that the bus was not safe for me to ride on. I helped him with his papers, well I mostly took what he wrote and rewrote it so he could get a good grade.

He always came up to my apartment to knock on the door and say good morning to my dad. They were developing a total bro-mance. It was weird. My dad said Navid was responsible and polite. He confessed that he always worried I would end up dating some guy who was a jerk. Navid drove me to school and then brought me home after we ate lunch together. It was turning out to be the perfect summer.

The next Thursday, while driving me home, he told me he wouldn’t see me that night and was going to be out the next day. He said he wasn’t feeling well and needed to just rest and would see me on Saturday morning for his soccer game. He told me this right when he pulled up to my apartment. I started to panic and asked what was wrong and should we go to the doctor and other things.

“I’ll be ok, Noah. I just need to rest. Do not worry for me, my love.” He kissed my cheek and then my lips.

“My sweet boy will take notes for me and catch me up, ok?” He rubbed my cheek and kissed my nose with a playful laugh.

“Ok, but just let me know if you need anything.” I felt my stomach twist into a knot that he was hurting and I couldn’t be there to take care of him. He walked me up to the apartment and then made sure I was safely inside with the door locked. He really was convinced that my neighborhood wasn’t safe.

 

+++

I didn’t hear from him that night. I texted Erik, my best friend who Navid didn’t get along with. He took me out for coffee and I filled him in on everything that had happened.

“I know how it goes when relationships are new, Noah… But you can’t just drop all of your friends for this guy.” Erik was swiping through my phone of all the pictures I had taken with Navid.

“He is kinda cute though, and I’m happy for you. I am! He holds you so protectively… It’s sweet.” Erik commented.

We spent a few hours there and he seemed annoyed at my weeks of absence, but also genuinely happy for me. He took me home and I agreed I would go to his LGBT student meeting the next week where he was running for vice president. I’d been a good member before Navid so I could still vote. I just hadn’t participated with them much this summer since Navid didn’t seem too interested in that world.

I was happy for the distraction of Erik that night, but when I got home I started to worry about Navid’s illness. I started to text him a hundred times but then thought he must be sleeping and I didn’t want to disturb that. He needed his rest and as hard as it was, I finally fell asleep looking at his pictures on my phone.

The next day seemed like I was vacationing in an old life. I awoke to a text from Navid telling me he was starting to feel better but was still sick. He wished me a good day and said he loved me and would dream of me in his naps. I replied with a similar message and then got myself ready for school.

I rode the bus to school and went to class alone. I sat in another part of the room so I could see Navid’s friends and observe quietly, but they didn’t show up either. Whatever he had must have infected all of them. I spent the whole class worrying for him and left during the break.

I took the bus back home and thought about calling him, but I knew he was probably passed out on cold medicine. I hated worrying about him so much. I couldn’t stop thinking about him alone and feeling awful in his bed. I decided to make him some cookies and take them over on my bike.

I walked to the grocery store on Reseda and got the needed supplies. I’d decided on making the chocolate cherry cookies my grandmother used to make with me when I was little. They always made me feel better. I made them perfectly and set aside two for my dad. He would be upset if he smelled them and had none when he got home. We almost never have anything with a lot of sugar in our kitchen.

I packed up the rest of them in a plastic take-out container. I found a silver sharpie marker and looked up online how to write “I hope you feel better soon,” in Persian. I wrote it on the lid of the container and filled it with cookies. I packed it up in a paper bag and decided to take my bike over to his house. It wasn’t too hot outside and the afternoon breeze was blowing in.

I biked up to his house and parked my bike on the front porch. There was a thumping bass sound coming from inside and I hoped it wasn’t keeping Navid up. He needed his sleep. He needed a quiet place. I knocked a few times and then pressed the doorbell. Aram opened the door wearing just a pair of basketball shorts.

“Noah! NO-Uhh... Suh-mo-king!” Aram sang with a laugh like it was a joke. He waved me through towards the living room which was cloudy with a heavy pot smell and thumping with some loud Persian or Arab music with a hip hop beat. There was a group of guys sitting around shirtless and talking and laughing.

“I brought something for Navid since he’s sick. Is he awake?” I was getting annoyed that his roommates would have a party while he was sick. I thought about bringing him home with me so I could take care of him. I knew my dad would be ok with that.

“Yeah… Oh… um. Navid! You are awake!?” Aram called towards the group of guys in the living room and I noticed a shirtless body whose back looked familiar.

There was a lighter guy with almost blonde hair wedged right against him. That guy turned to look at me first and his face told me he wasn’t just accidentally sitting too close to Navid. He looked older too, maybe close to 30. He rubbed his hand over Navid’s back and whispered something to him.

Navid turned to look at me just as the blonde guy was firing up a lighter on a small, green, glass pipe he held to Navid’s lips. He sucked in as his eyes registered my presence, and then he smiled and blew out. He took the pipe, handed it to the white guy and then jumped up happily. The guy turned and looked at me with jealous anger as Navid ran to greet me.

I dropped the wrapped paper package with the cookies and get well message. It landed with a smack against the cold tile floor and I started to back away as my heart thumped wildly against my chest. Navid froze then and it dawned on him that no, I was not happy to see him. I wasn’t happy to see him not sick. I wasn’t happy to see him smoking pot with his friends. I was least happy about seeing him cuddling up shirtless with some old dude who was still staring at me like his eyes held bullets.

I was struggling to breathe and my brain was screaming at me to get the hell out of there.

“Noah, you… drop something. Come here to me,” Navid said with confusion. He bent down to pick up the package. I started to turn and walk back towards the door before he could reach me.

“Wait, no go. You are upset? Why? I explain to you.” He was following me back towards the front door. I just needed to get out of there before I started crying like a five year old.

“I have to go. Just wanted to leave those,” I said without looking back at him. I tried to sound like I didn’t care. I tried to not sound like I was on the edge of crying. I hate cry voice. I put my hand on the doorknob and felt his hand grip my bicep. He pulled me back towards him roughly and squeezed my arm with too much force. I felt a shot of pain in my arm and my mouth made this weird pain sound I’d never done before. I wasn’t even sure it came from me.

He let go of my arm and started to apologize, but then tried to pull me in for a hug or something comforting and I pushed him away. I saw the white guy creeping up behind Navid and looking at us with curiosity like I was some weird homeless guy who’d floated in. He didn’t have even the smallest look of shame for what he had been doing with the guy I loved, the guy who had said he loved me. I felt my stomach flop around inside me angrily. It only fueled my need to get out of there.

“I need to go home! Please!” I yelled, but Navid was confused and kept trying to comfort me and look at where he’d hurt my arm. He was pushing me back towards the living room, maybe towards his bedroom.

It brought the attention of the other guys. They rushed over and Aram and some guy I didn’t recognize pulled Navid back. They were saying things to him in Persian as he was trying to push past them. Other guys joined in to hold Navid back. His face looked pained and confused as he kept his eyes on me. I wanted to leave but had gotten turned around so that now Navid and the scuffle were between me and the front door.

They were arguing with Navid and trying to calm him down, but he kept his eyes on me and was saying something in Persian. His eyes were red with worry, or maybe shame, or maybe too much pot. He must have been trying to explain things to them, but they weren’t giving in.

“You sure do know how to cause a scene, dude. We were all chill before you showed up with your problems,” The older white guy said to me in a very gay voice as he rubbed a hand over his chest. I noted a tent in his shorts and he just shrugged with a carefree smile that made my skin crawl.

“I need to leave,” I said to him.

“Yes, yes you do,” he replied dryly.

Navid switched from Persian to English and I turned back to see he was looking at me with sadness and anger and confusion.

“No! Let me help him. Noah!, Look! He hurts himself! I need help him! He hurts himself!” Navid said to the guys as he sank down to his knees helplessly.

“Come Noah, I’ll show you out this way. You go home and I take care of him.” Aram put his hand on my shoulder and pushed me out to the kitchen and then through a side door. He walked me around to my bike and then asked if I was ok to bike home. I nodded and he gave my shoulder a squeeze before I took off.

It wasn’t until I had stopped, waiting for the light to cross Burbank, that it sank in what Navid meant by “he hurts himself.” My hands were bleeding where I’d made unintentional fists and dug my nails into my palms. I hadn’t done that in so long. It was a welcome relief like the pain escaping my chest. I knew my father would be upset… disappointed.

I actually laughed then because I remembered I’d promised him I wouldn’t do that anymore… as if I had any control over it. But he’d also promised that he loved me and he obviously wasn’t interested in keeping up with that. I started to wonder what he and the white guy had done together and if he made him feel as good as I did.

My palms were sticky but the bleeding had stopped. I messed up my shorts trying to get my phone out and hoped Erik would be close by. I told him what had happened and he said he would head over right away.

+++

 

“I knew he was like that. They’re all like that; those foreign closeted guys! Fucktards, all of them with their religions that only allow them to use their dicks and never their hearts. They have to hide so much of themselves and who they are. It fucks up any chance they have at having something real with another guy. They end up in really freaky shit and can’t commit!” Erik never missed a chance to be right, but he was hugging me as we sat on my living room floor leaned up against the couch.

He had cleaned up my hands as he blamed Navid for everything wrong with the world.

“But I love him and I thought…” I started but didn’t know how to finish that sentence.

“Of course you did. You weren’t raised to be ashamed of yourself. You are a trusting, sweet guy. You deserve so much more, Noah. We know so many guys who would do anything to make you happy and you go after some unattainable Arab man.” Erik was warming up for a long lecture as he rubbed my back.

“He’s not Arab, he’s Persian.” I pointed out between sniffled tears.

“Whatever! Don’t defend him! Navid is garbage, Noah. Garbage knows no culture. I’ve met plenty of openly gay Arab and Persian guys without all that baggage. He’s in California now and needs to get used to it.” Erik sneered.

“He’s not garbage… I just thought he wanted more,” I whispered.

“I know. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to make you feel worse. You deserve better though,” He whispered back to me.

We just sat there on the floor together for over an hour as he talked me through it. I got the lecture on dating closeted guys and then one about the fact that I will go on and thrive and be stronger and whatever other pop song lyric that floated into his head.

And then my dad came home.

“What is going on, Noah? I got a call from Navid saying you were very upset and he did something stupid and you had a misunderstanding.” My dad rushed to kneel in front of me without greeting Erik.

Erik filled him in on what I had told him and then the two of them debated what to do with me. My dad thanked Erik for being there for me and told him he would stay with me. I think he wanted Erik to go and I know he wanted to bring down the drama level that Erik always carried. Erik gave me a hug, made me promise to attend the LGBT student group meeting to vote for him, and then he left.

“He said it was a misunderstanding, Noah… and I have to say that I’m very, very happy that you were upset about him smoking pot… but… but sometimes adults do that. I’ve done it. It’s not any worse than having a drink, which is ALSO something you should NEVER do. Drinking is bad. Ugh… I just… I raised you to be a very straight and narrow path kind of kid. I wanted you to be better than me. I guess I should be happy that it worked.” My dad said.

“He lied to me,” I said flatly. I was staring ahead as my dad took Erik’s place at my side and hugged me into his chest.

“I know. I’m not excusing what he did. It’s bad. But I also know how he feels about you. I know how he tries to be a better man because he wants a future with you. People mess up, Noah. You can’t just write them off forever.” My dad was defending Navid. I couldn’t believe it.

“You think he’s good for me,” I said.

“I don’t think anyone will ever be good enough for my child. If you want to move on from him, I support you completely. I will always support you when you think for yourself. What I’m saying is don’t be so quick to judge what you think you saw. I just can’t see him sleeping around with someone else like that. I could be wrong… It just doesn’t sound like him.” He rubbed my shoulder and kissed the top of my head.

We just sat there for a long time on the floor until I heard his stomach rumble. It was past dinner time and I hadn’t made anything. My dad’s phone buzzed and he fished it out of his pocket.

“He’s outside if you want to talk to him. I’m going to order a pizza if that’s ok?” Dad was definitely hungry.

“Yeah, sounds good.” I stood up and went to the front window. Navid was sitting in his car looking up at the apartment.

“It’s ok if I go out there?” I asked and my dad nodded. He was already ordering the pizza.

I slipped on a pair of shoes and grabbed a hoodie. The sun was setting and the air was changing to a cool, breezy night. Navid’s face lit up when he saw me open the front door. He hopped out of his car and came towards me. He was wearing a pair of black gym shorts and a red tank top with flip flops. His face looked blotchy and his eyes looked very tired. His black hair was messed up and pushed back. On him, it was still a hot look.

“You can talk to me?” He asked with a soft voice as he walked towards the steps to my place.

“Here?” I asked. He shook his head and came up the stairs for me.

He went inside and I heard him ask my dad if it was ok if he took me to talk somewhere. My dad agreed but told him I hadn’t eaten yet.

“I will feed him. I am sorry he hurts,” Navid said. My dad said something back in a low voice that I couldn’t make out. Navid apologized again and then came back out for me.

He led me down to the car and we drove in silence down towards the hills. He knew some back roads I hadn’t seen before and we zoomed up past beautiful houses until he found a little dirt side street. He led me up a steep little pathway to a clearing in the woods with a small bench and a view of the sunset.

“I am so sorry I hurt you. You are my everything, Noah. I never wish for anything but you,” he began with a soft, humble voice. It didn’t sound like him. He was never anything less than confident and seemed beat up by the day’s events.

“I… I just got confused. It’s ok. You never said you just wanted to be with me I guess. I just interpreted it that way. I just was shocked. That guy must be like 30 or something.” I couldn’t look him in the eye when I spoke. Instead I watched the cars back up along Ventura far below us. The endless stream of red pulsed in front of me as all of Los Angeles seemed to move from one end to the other in chaos.

“Wait, what? What old guy? What do you say, Noah!?” Navid’s voice went up and there was anger in it.

“The guy. That blonde guy you were cuddling. I didn’t know you were into older guys like that,” I stammered shakily.

“Noah! Oh My God, Noah! You think I am dog or something? You think I am go with whoever has hole near to me?” Navid was taken aback by my accusation.

“You didn’t play with him?” I asked.

“No! Oh yuck no! He is friend of Bashir. He bring over pot and alcohol sometimes and Bashir lets him… well, you are too young to know of that. But me? What you should think of me! I want nobody but my Noah. I tell you this! I…” Navid began to rant.

“Then why did you lie and say you were sick?” I interrupted.

“I… ah yes… For that I am apologize so much! I did make lie to you. I do not want you to see me like that in party time. I need to sometimes be with my friends and relax, but I know you are such a very good boy and do not like that things. I don’t want for you to want to try those things. But I did lie. And look how it hurt you.” Navid took my hand and rubbed lightly over the crescent cuts with a look of sorrow.

“You needed a night off. Ok that makes sense. I guess I did too. I got to catch up with Erik and he invited me to his gay thing next week.” I felt my chest open up with the realization that it was going to be ok.

“Gay thing? What gay thing is this?” Navid asked and I explained about the student group and voting for Erik.

“No, Noah. Why you want to go to this? It is dangerous for you. People will know,” He looked alarmed.

“People already know. I am a member and they’re my friends.” I was confused again.

“They aren’t like you, Noah. My boy is so quiet and gentle. You should be at home with your father where you are protected,” Navid put his arm around me and rubbed my shoulder. I was all set to tell him I was perfectly safe at lgbt student events. But then his hand touched my bicep where he had jerked my arm. The sudden shot of pain had me inhale sharply and pull away.

“What? That is where I grab you? Oh let me see. My friends did not let me check that you were ok.” Navid turned on the flashlight on his phone and pushed up the sleeve of my shirt.

“Oh fuck, baby I bruise here. I am so sorry to you. I will never hurt you again. I… fuck. Noah, I am sorry.” Navid looked pained and twisted all over again.

“It’s ok, just don’t touch there, please,” I assured him.

It didn’t calm him down and he went on apologizing for a few more minutes until I leaned over and put my lips to his. He stopped talking and slid his tongue into my mouth. He tasted like someone who needed to brush his teeth, but I didn’t care. He slid his arms around me and pulled me into his chest.

I reached down and felt his lap. His thick snake was hard and laying over his thigh. I felt around and realized he had no underwear on.

“You’re hard?” I asked as I pulled back from his lips.

“Always around you, Noah. It is all for you and only for your touch.” Navid kissed my nose and I saw his old, familiar smile creep across his lips.

“Did you like my cookies? They were supposed to make you feel better.” I looked at him with expectant eyes.

“Cookies?” He asked. “Oh… the package. I did not open it. I thought you are so upset and will want it back from me…. I just think of getting to you. I have them in trunk of car. You wait and I bring them?”

I nodded and he disappeared down the dark pathway. I was alone and realized just how quiet it was up here. Just me and the mountain lions and homeless people. He came running back up and flopped down next to me with excitement.

“You buy me cookies! I do not deserve,” He said and kissed my cheek.

“I made those. Just me and a bunch of junk from the grocery store.” I watched as he opened the wrapping and read the message I had written using the light from his phone. His face lit up and he kissed me again.

We sat there under the stars and over the city as we ate cookies in the cool night air. When it got too cold we drove to get tacos and then sat parked in front of my apartment until my dad texted to say it was time to come inside. Navid walked me up to my door. He came inside and talked to my dad for a few minutes while I went to pee.

“Noah,” he said with a kiss when it was time for him to head home. “I promise you I will tell you truth. I promise I will take better care of your heart if you can return it to me. Can you, Noah?”

I nodded and kissed him. My dad had given us some privacy to say good night. He pushed me against the doorway and slid a hand up the back of my shirt and used the other one to squeeze my ass. My heart wasn’t the only thing I’d put in his care.

I knew Erik would be upset and I knew we had a lot of things to work out. I didn't want to be anyone's princess and I definitely wasn't giving up the student group or my friends.

But being in his arms was the most alive I'd ever felt. I wasn't sure I had any semblance of control over anything anymore.

 

I kind of felt ok with that.