Crashing Into Love - 2. Chapter 2

“I think I might have feelings for him too.”

Lexie seem dumbfounded. All Connor could hear on the other end of the phone was Lex trying to come up with the words to say. He knew she must have found the words when she took a deep breath.

“You do realize that this is Benji we are talking about don’t you?” She plainly asked. “Like the Benji who has been your best friend forever.”

We finished our call and I decided to check on Benji.

I slowly open the door and see Benji wrapped up in my blankets. I walk over to the bed and gently brush the few dark hairs out of his face.

“That face, he looks so peaceful right now. I swear I can even see a smile trying to creep its way to his lips. Speaking of his lips -” I bite down on my lower lip, “they look so soft that maybe...”

The thought of leaning into him and smashing my lips against his flashed through my mind. I was glad when I saw him start to open his eyes.

“Ugh,” he moaned. “What the hell happened?”

I reach down for the aspirin and water on the nightstand and hand it to him. “Somehow, you managed to sneak several beers out of the cooler and were pretty trashed when I found you last night.”

The look on his face showed a mix of sadness and embarrassment, “I’m sorry man, I don’t know what came over me. You know I don’t do shit like that.”

For as long as I have known Ben, he has always been the excitable type, but at least he had his head set squarely enough on his shoulders to know when not to cross the line. I didn’t think that this was bothering him that badly that he would pole-vault completely over the line and do this.

I put my hand on his shoulder, “You know you can tell me what is bothering you, right?”

He set the now half empty glass of water back down on the night stand with a sigh. “Maybe I am taking this thing with Britten too hard,” He says avoiding my eyes.

I sit on the bed next to him and wrap my arm around him. I swore that I could have felt him sink into my embrace, which is something I never noticed about him before. I wonder if he remembers anything about last night.

“You know you are my best friend and absolutely nothing will ever change that,” I say with a reassuring tone.

I hadn’t noticed, but he had fallen asleep under my arm, his head resting on my chest. He was adorable when he slept. I just gently moved him back to the pillows and went down to the kitchen.

Mom was awake and rumbling through the kitchen.

“Is it just me or did I see Benji’s car in the driveway?” She asked.

“Yeah, he kinda crashed last night up in my room. Hope you don’t mind.”

“Benji is family, love, it’s fine.”

“He says he is having a rough time with this thing with Britten. I actually think there is more going on.”

“Any ideas what?” She said, concern filling her voice.

“No idea,” I lied. “But, I’m going to keep an eye on him.”

“Good idea. I’ll set a plate for him at breakfast.” She shuffled to the fridge and started to pull out things to cook.

I made my way to the living room and turned on the TV. My thoughts began to drown out the sounds of the TV.

I had to lie. I mean I know that my folks were cool when I came out to them, I counted myself lucky that way, but I just worried about the thoughts if I outed Benji to them. Hell, what if I was wrong and I didn’t hear him right. I mean he was drunk after all and that was definitely not a subject I wanted to broach with my mom.

When breakfast was ready, I made my way back upstairs to see Benji looking at his phone. I cleared my throat and he scampered to turn off the screen and put it away. I could see from the expression on his face whatever was on his phone both embarrassed and upset him.

“Hey man, breakfast is ready and Mom said you have to stay for it.”

“Thanks, I’ll be down in a second,” He said while getting up.

Benji stumbled again, and I ran over to him in just enough time to catch him. We just stood there face to face, noses not but a couple of inches away from each other and for a moment, just stared into each other’s eyes.

I never truly took the time to admire just how amazing his eyes were. They were this amazing shade of emerald green. I just felt myself wanting to stare into them forever.

“Dude, you have morning breath.” He laughing joked with me while playfully shoving me.

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Breakfast went easy enough, mostly talking about how everyone seemed to like the party last night. Subconsciously, I wanted to pull Benji aside and ask him what he meant by everything last night. The thoughts in my head continued to pool up and drown out everything else.

“Earth to Connor, come in Connor.” Benji called out as he clapped his hands over my shoulders.

“Wha-” I said, my thoughts returning to the moment.

“I said I have to get home. The folks are looking for me. Meet later at my place?”

“Sure - text me whenever.”

With that he slapped my arm and headed out to his car.

*Ding* - New Text message from Lexie

Lex: Did you talk to him yet?

Connor: No, I don’t think he remembers…

Lex: What are you going to do?

Connor: Heading over to his place later… talk to him then.

Lex: I hope you are right about this…

Connor: Me too

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*Ding* - New Text message from Benji

Benji: Ugh - my head still hurts

Connor: I bet - that was no soda you were drinking

Benji: Did I do anything bad?

Connor: Why?

I could tell that Benji was thinking something, because the typing bubble kept appearing and disappearing.

Benji: IDK - just worried I may have done something

Connor: Nothing bad

Benji: I did something didn't I?

Connor: I’ll tell you later. Promise it was nothing bad

Benji: Come over in an hour

Connor: Will do.

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An hour later, I jump into my truck and start to make my way towards Benji’s house. The roads were packed for a Saturday and I don’t know why people had seem to forget how to drive. I pulled off the main road to head towards Benji’s house.

When I pulled up to the house, I could see that no one was home. I pull out my phone and text Benji.

Connor: Where are you? I’m here - no one’s home.

I pull into the driveway and park my truck. I head to the side door of the house and unlock the door with the key Benji gave me a long time ago.

As I walk into the house, the floorboards beneath my feet start to creak. I make my way to the stairs when I see the shadow of a figure standing at the top of the stairs.

“Stop, whoever you are.” I look up to see Benji - clad only in a towel, holding a baseball bat.

“Benji - it’s me.” I call out to him.

Benji was still wet, meaning he must have missed my message because he was in the shower. I took a minute to take in the glory that was in front of me.

‘Damn, look at him.’ I thought to myself. ‘Not like this is the first time I had ever seen him shirtless, but WOW. No wait get a grip on yourself - you can’t start thinking like that. You don’t even know what is going on.’

The look on my face at that point probably was one of confusion and stupidity.

“Are you going to stand there looking like an idiot or are you going to do something?” Benji said, with a slight grin.

“Go put some clothes on,” I quip back.

After he left to his room, I could still picture the lines of his abs. Something deep inside of me wanted to spend hours just running my fingers over them. Those same thoughts had me thinking about running my fingers through his hair and the thoughts started not to bother me as bad.

‘I think I am falling for him,” I thought with a sigh.

Benji came bounding down the stairs with that messy dark hair that just excited my insides. After making his way to the couch and flopping down on it, he looked at me as I just stood there lost in my thoughts about bounding over the couch and jumping his bones. The next thing I know, a throw pillow makes impact with my face.

“Paging Connor. Earth to Connor.” Benji called out to me. This was the second time today I found myself in deep thought about him.

“Yeah, Right-” I snapped back to reality. “So whats up?”

Benji looked at me dead in the eyes. Again those emerald eyes melted into me. It took everything in me not to just lean forward and taste those lips. He fidgeted around and pulled his phone out of his pocket. He pulled up a video off his phone.

“He doesn’t love you like that Ben, he could never be more than what you are now. I just wish he would hold me in those strong arms and tell me everything will be ok.”

The familiar drunken voice on the video played out. It continued to play until after I had found Benji and laid him down on the blanket.

“What did I do?” asked Benji, matter-of-factly.

I could see the pain in his eyes. I knew that he was conflicted with this.

“Nothing happened. I found you like that and I let you sleep it off.”

He looked down at his feet, the ever positive look on his face had sunken to a depressed look. He spoke, never looking up at me.

“Did we-,” His voice broke, “sleep together?”

I explained to him the situation of what happened. While I was telling him that nothing happened, a look on his face was weird. It was a mix between relief and sadness.

“Ben, I have a question for you and I want you to answer it completely. Ok?” I looked into his eyes.

He nodded silently.

“Who were you talking about?”

I could tell that he wanted to avoid the answer to that question. He stood up and started to walk away from me. I stood up, reached out, and grabbed his arm, pulling him around until we were practically nose to nose. I could feel his now heavy breathing against my face and to say I was feeling intoxicated by the sensation would be an understatement.

“Connor,” Benji said with a sigh, half begging me to let go. “Fuck it.”

I felt his free hand reach behind my head and pull me into a passionate kiss. The feeling of his lips against mine were like a fire coming to life. It was amazing and wonderful, and there are not enough words in the english language to define the sensation. I let my grip loosen on his arm, and drew my other hand up to the small of his back, pulling him closer to me, part of me never wanting to let him go.

When we finally broke from the kiss, we stood there foreheads touching, trying to catch our breaths. I couldn’t help but breathlessly pant out a simple “Wow.”

I looked at Benji. His face was a bright shade of red, as he caught his breath. When he caught my eyes, he turned and ran back up the stairs. I could hear the sound of his bedroom door slam.

The only thought I could muster at that point was “Why did I never kiss him before,” followed simply by the thought “I want to do that again.”