Light of my life - 1. Prompt 497 – Creative

I clutched the cold porcelain, as I was seized by another full body heave. My body seemed hell bent on getting every last drop out of me. Not that I’d had anything to eat and hardly anything to drink since yesterday morning, so there really wasn’t much. Still my body kept trying. And trying…

When I could relax once more, I hung limply over the toilet seat, no longer caring if it was disgusting to be in such close proximity to it. It was cold. Cold felt good on my skin. Then it slowly started all over again.

“No, no… You’ve got to be kidding me… Please, no more…” No amount of talking to myself could stop this. I felt my stomach contract once again, making me feel like I was attempting to turn myself inside out. This time, there wasn’t even bile left.

Breathing heavily through my nose with my mouth open in a vain attempt to avoid the extremely bad taste in my mouth, I waited. Maybe it was over for this time. Maybe I had finally got everything out. I sure hoped so. Crawling cautiously on my hands and knees, I made it back to the couch where I had spent all of yesterday and today. My head had been aching all week long, starting on Monday as a soft pounding right behind my eyes and then getting progressively worse until Thursday morning when my world had started to tilt in the most nauseating way, making it impossible for me to leave the apartment, or even be very far away from my bathroom. I was thinking mom was right. This wasn’t just one of my usual migraines. I really should go to the doctor. Tomorrow. I would go tomorrow. Provided I could stand up long enough to get there.

To pass the time, I had been watching TV. I couldn’t read or surf the web. I couldn’t handle anything demanding too much brain power as it made my nausea worse, so I mostly watched those silly shows about the lives and loves of celebrities and the like. It was amazing to think quite a few people must watch this kind of ‘entertainment’ regularly. Or perhaps there were just enough sick people to keep their audience numbers up. What did I know. The images flickering by on the screen kept me from dying of boredom and at the moment it was enough for me.

Then suddenly there he was. Aaron. My best friend from growing up. I was used to seeing his face here and there, but not in this context. I reached for the remote and turned up the sound, for once actually interested in what they were saying.

“So, Aaron, this is a new step for you. Branching out into acting. How are you feeling about that?” The blonde woman performing the interview was very obviously smitten by Aaron. A regular reaction to him. But what was it she said? Acting? Aaron was a swimmer and had been part of the US Olympic team a few years ago, when he became a household name after an interview for national TV performed with him in his speedo. Only his speedo.

“I’m scared to death, naturally.” A smile lit up his face, contradicting his statement completely. “But they’ve promised to guide me through it. I just felt I had to do this, when they asked. I mean, how often do you get to be AquaMan for real?” Another dazzling smile had the reporter lose her focus momentarily, falling silent for a few moments too long as she got lost in his dimples.

So that was what they were talking about. The latest comic expected to be turned motion picture extravaganza. But I couldn’t figure out what it had to do with Aaron.

“So, swimming on screen. Will it be different from racing?” The reporter tilted her head.

I could tell Aaron had to bite his lip to not go “Duh!” at the inane question.

“I won’t have to be the fastest in there. And I’ll get to wear much cooler outfit.” Another smile had the woman giggling and leaving all professional integrity behind, completely mesmerized by him. As usual.

Aaron had that effect on people. Always had. Teachers, coaches, parents. Everyone loved him. Or perhaps they were all so taken by his story as the poor orphan boy who managed to struggle on alone in this world. Of course, he had foster parents, the Reids, who were very good people and a foster brother, Craig, who looked out for him if needed. Not that he needed it very much. Somehow, Aaron had managed to get away with almost anything growing up. Compared to me, who was struggling with shyness and a general lack of cool, he was always the star, almost lit up from the inside by an inner light that wouldn’t be dimmed no matter what. I sometimes thought I should hate him, but it was impossible to harbor any ill feelings towards the carefree individual. From the day he showed up in my class at the start of the 5^th grade, I had watched him walk through life as if nothing bad could ever happen to him, as if he had no worries in the world.

Then again, the worst had already happened to him. He had been abandoned at birth and then had the misfortune to bounce around the system without getting to stay anywhere, let alone getting adopted. It wasn’t until he came to live with the Reids in our small town that he could finally grow some roots.

For some reason, he chose me as his best friend, despite our huge differences. We were inseparable almost from day 1 in school. Neither me nor later his athlete, in crowd friends could figure out why he always insisted on dragging me along or why he, on the nights when I wasn’t up to hanging out at the mall or go with him to some party, always opted to stay with me and play videogames or watch silly horror movies. He didn’t even date, much to the dismay of the cheerleaders flocking around him. When he wasn’t in class or at swim practice, he was with me.

Of course we studied together and he helped me with all things concerning math, while I could help him with English. His nomadic upbringing seemed to have left him without some basic language skills and when we first became friends, he didn’t understand some very common phrases and slang. I had to spend one memorable afternoon explaining the expression ‘raining cats and dogs’ didn’t mean actual animals would fall from the sky. He also had a bad reaction to the school janitor telling him a window he broke would cost him an arm and a leg. Aaron went all white and then simply turned and ran, with me following as best I could. When I finally caught up with him, he was frantic and mumbling about barbaric punishment. When I got him to listen and told him the janitor only meant it would be expensive, he visibly relaxed and started laughing. So we helped each other. He was of course the first person I came out to at 14, after a nerve wrecking evening of fits and starts before I finally blurted it out. He only smiled at me and told me he would always be my friend, no matter what, and gave me a hug.

When I had just turned 15, I slowly started to realize my feelings for him weren’t only brotherly love. It was confusing when my nights were invaded by dreams of him and me doing all those things I had googled when I at the same time felt we were as close as brothers. I debated with myself whether I should just tell him. Somehow, I knew deep down he would be OK with it. Still, every time I tried, I froze. The fear of him leaving me held me back, so I never told him. Instead, I buried my feelings deep inside and tried to be content with having him as my friend.

Then disaster struck. In our junior year, Mr. Reid got a new job on the other side of the country, taking my friend with him. I had cried like a baby in front of him the night before they left, clinging to him and not caring if he thought I was acting like an emotional idiot. He held me tight and when my tears had run dry he out of the blue gave me a deep kiss, a kiss that made the hairs on my body stand up and my toes curl. I was too stunned to ask him what he was doing and simply let him go.

He promised me we’d stay in touch. At first, I thought it was only something he said when saying goodbye, but he stayed true to his word. Over the years, we kept up our friendship by e-mails, skype, texting, visits and actual letters. He asked me to send him handwritten ones, just because they felt more real. I couldn’t really understand it, but did as he asked. As reading his handwritten letters always made me feel so much closer to him, I discovered he was right. So we managed to remain close friends.

On my couch, I moved my head to try and get slightly more comfortable, but it only increased the pounding. I quickly turned my head back, towards the TV. In a weird way, hearing his voice helped reduce the pain. It made me think about other times when I had been ill with these migraines and Aaron’s uncanny ability to call me at just those times. Talking to him was always way better than any pills I could get at the pharmacy. This time I was beginning to think I would need something stronger, though. I’d get to it tomorrow.

“So you’re making three films? At the same time?” The woman was positively purring at being so close for so long to this otherworldly specimen of a man.

“That’s what they tell me! I’m just happy to go along.” Aaron shook his head slightly, as if not believing his own good fortune. “It’s kind of unexpected, but apparently that’s how they do these things nowadays.”

Then Aaron’s demeanor changed all of a sudden, turning serious as he turned his eyes towards the camera and looked straight at it, straight at me. His hazel eyes glimmered as if lit up from the inside by fire. I blinked, thinking it must be the studio lights playing tricks on me. “Can I just say something really quick?” Ignoring the reporter’s confusion, he spoke directly into the camera now, in a low, determined voice. “David, if you’re watching, I just want you to know I’m coming back home tomorrow night and I have something I must tell you in person. I meant to call earlier this week to let you know, but things have been insane.”

Upon hearing my name on TV, I sat straight up but did so a little too fast. The room started spinning and I hurriedly lay back down, willing my body to relax. I closed my eyes and focused on Aaron’s voice instead.

“You’re going home…?” The female reporter sounded confused, but tried to pretend she wasn’t. “That’s nice…”

“Yes, I’m going to see my best friend.” Just like that, the weird mood was broken and Aaron once again sounded like a slightly overexcited would be actor.

“What is it you’re going to tell him?” In an attempt exude trustworthiness, she lowered her voice.

“That’s between us.” Aaron’s tone made it clear he wouldn’t answer any questions about that particular subject. Despite my condition, I giggled. Aaron never let anyone tell him what to do. Well, except me then. For some reason, I had been able to get him to do all kinds of stupid things. Like running through the school library only wearing speedos or making prank calls to teachers. All the things I would never dare to do. Once or twice, he got caught, but he never blamed me. He simply said “That’s what friends are for.” and smiled.

I couldn’t believe it. Aaron was coming here? To tell me something? But this month we’d both be graduating, finally. If I could ever leave my couch again, that is. How would he have time to come here now?

We were now both in the final weeks of college, his education paid for by a swimming scholarship. Unfortunately, our schools were across the country from each other, meaning we had only been able meet up a few times a year. Always, when we gone back to our respective schools, I felt sad for days and from his texts I could tell he felt the same. It was as if we were missing part of ourselves when we were apart and even though it had been years since he moved away, the feeling was still there. Sometimes I had a boyfriend to cheer me up, sometimes not. I dated a couple of guys for shorter periods, but none of them could measure up to Aaron. He still seemed too focused on his studies and swimming to bother with dating. More than once, I jokingly asked him about his monk lifestyle and he simply answered he was waiting for the right one. Since no amount of teasing would get him to change his romantic view of love, I stopped.

I had of course followed him when he has been chosen to compete in the Olympics. When he got a bronze in the 4 × 100 meter medley relay, doing the butterfly distance, I defied my shyness and went running around campus telling anyone who would listen my best friend just got an Olympic medal. Then he had his famous speedo interview, looking fabulous and breaking everyone’s heart with his sad story. The rest as they say was history. With his easy going nature and incredibly good looks, he quickly became very popular across the nation, participating in all kinds of talk shows and game shows. He even got to be in an episode of Saturday Night Live. But a movie deal? I hadn’t heard anything about that.

I reached for my phone to call him and just as I grabbed it, the signal went off. As fast as I could I answered, just to get the infernal noise to stop.

“David?”

Confused, I gently shook my head. His voice again…

“Aaron? I was just about to call you…”

“You saw me on TV, right?” He couldn’t wait for me to finish my sentence.

“Yes…Wait, how did you know that?”

“I didn’t. I just hoped you did.” He fell silent. “So, how are you feeling…?”

From the way he asked the question, I almost felt as if he somehow already knew. But we hadn’t been in touch for almost two weeks, much longer than usual.

“I’m fine.” I tried to dismiss his question, as I was more interested in his news about coming home than discussing my migraine.

“Are you sure…?” His insistence was surprising, but genuine.

“You know, just another migraine.” I sighed. “Only this one is worse than any I’ve had before. I can’t even eat. I spoke to mom. She thinks I should get properly checked out this time. You know, tests and scans and stuff. Maybe I should just head over to the ER tonight…”

“No!” His exclamation was so loud it hurt my ear. “I mean… Just wait until I get there tomorrow and I can take you if you still feel bad. Much more comfortable. You shouldn’t drive when you feel like that.”

“But if I go tonight, they can get me some better pills, other than the over the counter stuff. Then I’ll be fine when you get here.” It made perfect sense to me to try and get well before his visit.

“Just wait for me, OK?” When he lowered his voice like that and spoke as if directly into my ear, practically inside my brain, I could never tell him no. “Promise?”

“Ok.” To change the subject, I asked about his little surprise message on TV. “So what’s the big news?”

“Patience, David. I need to tell you this face to face.” Aaron sounded about ready to burst from excitement.

My first thought was he was getting married. Stone cold dread immediately settled in the pit of my stomach. He hadn’t told me about seeing any woman. Or man for that matter. Sometimes things happened really fast, though.

“So I want you to go to bed now and get some rest. I’ll see you tomorrow evening, I’m guessing around 7 pm. Ok?” Again, that low voice. It felt useless to try and do anything other than rest, since Aaron had more or less ordered me to bed. When he was in his caring mode, he never relented and I suspected he would check up on me.

Somehow, during our talk the tight band around my head had loosened just enough for the world to stop spinning every time I moved. After brushing my teeth and managing to drink some water, I crawled into bed. Aaron’s call had made me feel slightly better and the effect was still there. I tried to prepare myself for whatever news he might have. The idea of him getting married made me more upset than I had thought it would. I should be over him by now. Nothing was going to happen. Still, I felt tears slowly trickle down from the corners of my eyes. Was I losing him for good this time? Would our friendship survive Aaron with a family?

Just then my phone vibrated. I looked at the text.

I can’t wait to see you again. Miss you so much. Are you resting?

I stared at the words, suddenly not sad and despairing anymore. How did he do that? Always knowing when I needed just a little of him? The text meant I could finally fall asleep, after sending him a quick reply of “Yes, mother ”.

The next day I was feeling even better and eventually recovered enough to get hungry. With nothing at home except toast, I made myself a sandwich. And then another. And another. I ended up eating almost the entire loaf. Realizing what had happened, I chuckled. I had to give it to him. He sure knew how to make me feel better.

The day went by so very slowly, every minute lasting forever. Like a bored child, I wandered around in my little apartment. At around lunch time, out of the blue my neck started itching like crazy. I went to the bathroom and saw a red rash had spread around my neck, almost encircling it completely. Only the skin beneath my Adam’s apple was unaffected.

Great, I thought to myself. Covered in sores… What next? I get some hideous eye infection that will really turn him off? Desperately, I applied every cream and ointment I could find. Surprisingly, I found quite a few. Mom had apparently stocked my medicine cabinet when I wasn’t looking. None of the stuff I found removed the rash, but at least something reduced the itching. Still, I scratched my neck on and off all afternoon, wondering if I should put on a turtle neck to cover it up but fearing it would only increase the problem.

When I was just about ready to climb the walls, there was a knock on my door. When I had expected to rush over to open, instead I froze. Was I ready for his news? Could I take him getting married? Or worse – leaving the country to join the Foreign Legion? The last bit was silly, but my mind couldn’t stop coming up with alternative explanations, each more ridiculous than the rest. Finally, I got my act together and opened the door.

There he was, as amazingly good looking as always. He smiled at me and drew me into his arms.

“God, I’ve missed you…” Burying his nose at the base of my neck, he sniffed deeply almost as if he was inhaling my scent. Before I could get uncomfortable about this weird behavior, I started to worry my rash would gross him out if he realized it was right there in his face. Backing away, I put my hand up to my neck as if to cover myself up.

“You might not want to get too close… I don’t even know what this is…” Embarrassed, I felt my cheeks turn red. Aaron’s expression changed, but not to concern or disgust as expected. Instead his eyes lit up and he looked at me as if I had revealed the most precious secret to him and him alone.

“Oh, David…” The words were barely more than a whisper. He reached out and gently touched the irritated skin. I was too stunned by the way he acted to pull back and when his fingers lightly traced the side of my neck, it tingled. Not like the tingles I’d usually get when he touched me, though. No, these were different. Wherever he touched, the itching stopped. His hands had the most curious cooling effect. It felt strange to have him caress me like that, but after hours of nonstop scratching I was beyond caring. I just wanted it to stop.

“I should have come sooner. I knew it was time. I could feel it.” He placed his hands on either side of my face and leaned his forehead against mine. “I really should have been here.”

Nice as it was to be so close to him, my brain kicked in and started asking questions that demanded answers. Putting a hand on his chest, I drew back to meet his eyes. His hands stayed put at my neck.

“What’s going on, Aaron? Time for what? You said you had news. Why are you acting like this?”

“Have you been very ill?” It seemed like he tried to change the subject, but I decided to let him for a while. Maybe that would help him to finally tell me what he had come here to say.

“I’ve been better…” I shook my head. “It’s ok, though. Just an extra intense migraine and now this weird rash.”

“It’s my fault. I can’t believe I let it go so far. I should have at least called you.” He caressed my cheek. “That helps, right?”

I nodded, but then his words sunk in. What did he mean by that? His fault?

“But I was sick. It’s got nothing to do with you. And you shouldn’t be able to help…” His sad smile as he looked at me and shook his head again made me want to hug him. Then I decided I’d had enough of this. Time to get some answers.

“Are you getting married?” Perhaps the best defense was a good offence. Whatever that meant. Sounded about right to me.

The surprised look on his face would have been humorous if I wasn’t feeling so strangely upset.

“What? No! Is that what you were thinking?” He stepped away from me and moved around in a circle, as if he couldn’t sit still anymore.

“Well, you say on national TV that you have important news, the kind that have to be delivered in person. What do you expect me to think?!?” Now, I was raising my voice at him. It wasn’t my plan, but I needed answers and in my weakened state I had little self-control.

“Are you seeing someone at the moment?” Again, he changed the subject on me.

“What? No.” Surprised but determined to not get sidetracked by him, I steered the conversation back on track. My track. “You didn’t come all this way to talk about my non-existent love life. So answer my question, Aaron. Please...”

He lowered his eyes and sighed, placing his hands on his hips.

“There’s something I’ve never told you. About me.”

My mouth went very dry and it was suddenly difficult to breathe. This was it, the big reveal. I didn’t know what to say, so I stayed silent, waiting for Aaron to take the lead as he usually did.

Taking my hand, he led me to the couch and sat, pulling me down with him. As we sat there next to each other, he seemed to lose his confidence. He fidgeted with his hands on his lap and kept his eyes trained on the floor. Whatever it was, it was big. I realized that much and stayed silent to give him time to gather his thoughts.

“I’m not who you think I am.” His soft spoken words were hard to hear, so I leaned in a little. It made no sense to me, but I remained quiet. “I didn’t come here when I was eleven.”

“Yes, you did. I remember that clearly!” For some reason, his statement almost made me upset.

“No, I mean I wasn’t eleven.” He sighed. “And I wasn’t an orphan boy.”

“Aaron, what are you talking about? You came to the Reids and we started 5^th grade together. Are you feeling ok?” Now I was starting to get scared. Had something happened to him? Was he ill?

“Oh fuck… There’s no way to say this in a gentle way.” He got up and fell to his knees in front of me. “I wasn’t born here.” Before I could protest that I already knew that, he grabbed my hands and continued. “I’m not from Earth. Not from this planet.”

Staring at him, I felt my whole world fall apart. Oh, lord. He had gone crazy. What was it you were supposed to do when dealing with delusional people? Act calm and pretend to believe them, right? Buy time to call for help? For him, of course. Crazy or not, I would never be afraid he’d hurt me. That was unthinkable.

“Oh, god… Now you think I’m crazy.” He hung his head as if gathering strength before looking up at me again. “I know this is a lot to take in, but I have to say this now. It is time.” He reached for my rash once more, only this time touching the part where my skin was not affected, the notch beneath my Adam’s apple.

“Why do you keep saying that? ‘It’s time’?“ I sat as still as I could to not agitate him. I suddenly kept getting an old episode of Oprah running through my mind, where they had talked about situations like this. Only it wasn’t exactly a situation like this. I was pretty sure Oprah hadn’t handed out advice on how to deal with people who thought they were aliens.

“I come from an ancient race of travelers. We spend our time traveling the universe, gathering information on all other living entities and also sometimes spreading the knowledge we have accumulated through our travels. Always learning and expanding our knowledge. We exist to learn and then if possible carefully help develop the civilizations that aren’t as advanced…” As he spoke, I stared at him in disbelief. His enthusiasm faded little by little until he fell silent. “And of course, you don’t believe me. This doesn’t make any sense to you, since we never let people know about our work. I’m going to have to show you.”

He stood and took a few steps back. Standing in the middle of my living room, he held his arms out. Looking up to the ceiling, he seemed to concentrate. I stayed still, nervously waiting for his next action.

“I think I need to show you the real me for you to believe me.” He briefly met my eyes before looking up again. “Don’t be scared, David. It’s not dangerous.”

With that, he disappeared. Or rather dissolved. I sat there, blinking and not able to take in what my eyes had just shown me. He was gone. Or was he? In the middle of the room, there was a faint swirl, a golden shimmer. Barely perceptible, but undeniably there. When it moved towards me, I thought about bolting, but my body wouldn’t let me. As the shimmer descended upon me, I expected to be scared, but instead I felt an enormous peace settle inside. I felt happiness, giddiness and a lightness to my body that I couldn’t understand. I was suffused in warmth. As I started to laugh out loud, the shimmer moved and suddenly Aaron was back, standing in front of me panting. Our eyes met and I realized I couldn’t stop laughing. He waited patiently, slowly drawing nearer until he was once again on his knees at my feet.

“Was that you…?” As crazy as it sounded, I had to ask. I had to believe my own eyes, hadn’t I?

“Yes. I can project any image I want, to fit in wherever I go, but in our true form, we are pure light. This allows us to travel very fast and very far.” He took my hands in his again. “In our language, we call ourselves ‘light bearers’. We are a very old race.”

“Then how old are you?” For some reason I felt I had to ask the trivial question, perhaps to make some sense of this.

“No one really knows, since we’ve sort of always been here. Time has little meaning to us.” He chuckled slightly. “That said, time has taken on a completely different meaning since I met you.” His eyes lit up with that hint of fire again.

“We usually live alone, but during our travels we sometimes find companions meant to share our lives.” He swallowed. “I didn’t expect to meet mine here among humans, but the moment I saw you I knew.”

When I could make sense of his words, I couldn’t stop the wide smile that spread over my face. I remained silent to let him finish.

“At first, I was ecstatic. Then I realized I had missed two crucial facts. One: Most humans are attracted to the opposite sex and two: it takes eff-ing forever for you to reach the appropriate mating age.”

He smiled at me.

“The first worried me, but I didn’t want to go through changing my physical appearance in the hopes of gaining your affections as an Earth woman after we had become such close friends. Then after a few years, I realized it wasn’t a problem. I knew you were attracted to me. That’s why I couldn’t risk changing again to come back as someone else, even if that meant I had to follow the Reids across the country to keep up the illusion of who I was supposed to be. I also had to fulfill my purpose for being here on Earth. I was so close to getting what I wanted and needed, I couldn’t give up. I wanted nothing more than to be close to you, but I had to wait.”

Hearing his confession made me suddenly angry.

“What? You knew all this time and never told me? You even felt the same way?!?” I snatched my hands back, regretting my action immediately as it severed my physical connection to him. For some reason, it hurt to not be touching him. I had to concentrate to keep my hands to myself.

“I’m sorry, David. We have such strict laws about mating. We aren’t allowed to reveal ourselves to a companion prior to their age of maturity. Even then, we can only ask and hope you accept us. We haven’t had any human companions, so I didn’t really know how long it would take or when it was time. I could only wait and see. Even if it was killing me to hear you talk about the guys you were seeing.” His eyes met mine and I could see the immense love he had for me. They also revealed his nervousness as he explained everything to me.

“So you have been waiting all this time?” Frustration didn’t even begin to describe what I was feeling.

“You had to be ready.” Aaron shook his head as if to emphasize what he was saying. “I knew your body would tell me when, since I let myself connect to you the night before I moved away.”

“Connect?” Suddenly, I just knew. “That kiss?” The memory of that night came back to me crystal clear.

“Yes.” He bit his lower lip, as if preparing to tell me something I wouldn’t like. “It allowed me to be connected to you no matter where you are. It had side effects, though… Unexpected ones. Those migraines are not migraines. It’s your body calling for me, needing my light. I didn’t expect you to have such a violent reaction. Every time you felt ill, I prayed it was time. It nearly destroyed me knowing how you suffered as your body prepared.”

“You made me sick?” Anger spiked again as I thought about all the times I’d had to stay home behind closed curtains, battling headaches from hell. “That’s why you didn’t want me to go to the doctor?”

“I swear I didn’t know it would happen! Once I had chosen you, I could only wait. Seeing a doctor could have revealed our existence, since I didn’t know if the connection could be detected. I tried to help you by calling and sending you letters, giving you some of me.” Aaron placed his hands on my thighs and looked at me with pleading eyes. “Please don’t think I haven’t suffered too. Being away from you, giving you time and also trying to carry out my own task here in Earth, has been the most difficult thing I’ve ever done. If I didn’t have your letters, with your scent on them, I would never have endured seeing you so seldom.” He reached out and touched my neck. “This is the sign I’ve been waiting for.”

“My rash?” I found it hard to believe something gross like that could be a sign for anything beautiful. “A sign of what?”

“That you are ready to choose.” He rose before me, slowly letting his hands slide up my bare arms. It sent chills through me and I shivered. As he stood before me, he continued. “You have to choose if you want to be my companion or not. If you say no, I will release you and there will be no more headaches. You will be free.”

“And you?” I was almost afraid to ask.

Pain ghosted across his face.

“I’ll leave Earth.”

“Leave? Can you come back?” I had to know. Would I lose my best friend?

“I could, but it would hurt so much to see you and know you won’t be mine. I’ve waited for so long. Knowing you had other guys, knowing how they hurt you sometimes... I couldn’t go through that over and over again.” Aaron turned his head from me, his voice thick with emotion. “I’m sorry to ask this of you. But you have to choose tonight. Otherwise, the circle won’t close and I’ll have to go.”

“Circle? What circle?” He had lost me to confusion again.

“Your circle.” He reached for me and touched my neck in a sweeping motion. I realized he talked about the rash. “If you accept me, your circle will close at the front and be a permanent sign of our bond. If not, it will fade.”

“I will have a rash on my neck forever?” This was not a pleasant idea.

“No, it will be like a tattoo. Like this.” He pulled down the neck line of his own sweater, revealing black markings encircling his own neck. Almost like those Celtic rune tattoos that had been so popular a couple of years ago. “Your markings will match mine, showing everyone we belong together. But only if you choose me.”

“I’ve never seen those before…”

“I can show you only what I want you to see, remember? I choose to not show my markings, since I don’t want to explain them.”

The gravity of what Aaron was asking of me was beginning to sink in, causing the room to spin and I had to take a few deep breaths. This was far too much to process in just one night. Still, I had to do it. Part of me wanted to say ‘yes’ and to hell with the consequences. Another part, a big part, was so scared and confused it simply said ‘no’. Aaron sat down beside me, but remained silent. I was thankful he didn’t try to convince me, giving me time to think.

“Where would we stay?” Right then it hit me I would perhaps have to leave, as in leave Earth.

“Here. My assignment is here and with you by my side, I would never want to leave. You aren’t ready for travel yet. That takes a lot of time and…” Aaron snapped his mouth shut and looked away.

“Yet…?” I had picked up on that particular word.

“In time, you will become more and more like me. More and more like light, pure energy.”

“I will dissolve?” Not a very alluring prospect either.

“No! I mean… Yes, perhaps that’s the right word, but you will be able to control your energy, just like me. Letting people here see you the way you want them to see you.”

This was getting stranger by the second.

“Wait, I could change appearance?” A sure sign of my state of confusion was the weird images of me as a dog, cat, lizard and what not that flashed through my mind.

“Yes, if you chose to.”

“Then what do you really look like?”

“I showed you already.” Aaron seemed to have infinite patience with all my stupid questions.

“But that was nothing but a shimmer…” How could someone exist only as light?

“It’s all you need. Your energy, your life force.” Aaron reached out and caressed my back, a calming motion. It made me aware of my very speedy breathing. Perhaps I was starting to hyperventilate. Wouldn’t surprise me. Panic was just around the corner, as the thoughts in my head went round and round at the speed of light. How ironic.

“I don’t know what to do.” Helplessly, I looked at him. “How will I know what to do? The right choice?”

“Only you can know this. I can’t tell you what to do.” He shook his head. I didn’t like the sad expression on his face. He was supposed to be happy. We were always happy when we were together, as if we were meant to be together.

Just then, something inside of me clicked. What was I thinking? Here I was presented with an opportunity to be with the man of my dreams… Or well, shimmer of my dreams to be exact… Fuck it, it was all I had ever wanted. How could I suddenly doubt that? Was I that big an idiot?

“You’re not an idiot…” His quiet admonition startled me.

“Wait, you can read my mind?” I stared at him.

“No, silly. I know you. You get this look on your face when you feel stupid. You did in 5^th grade when asked about the capitol of Idaho and you do now.” Aaron leaned in, placing a gentle kiss on my cheek. “Just trust yourself. You know what’s right. Just tell me what’s in your heart.”

And like that, any remaining doubt evaporated like mist in the morning sun. Putting a hand on the back of his head, I held him still and kissed him. Tentatively but with increasing eagerness, he opened for me and our tongues met sending sparks throughout my body. Without hesitation, I pushed him backwards, until he lay on his back with me sprawled on top. Still kissing and going deeper by the second.

“Wait, wait…” Aaron panted against my mouth, not wanting to break contact but apparently in need to tell me something important. “If we go on, it will close the circle. You must choose first…”

Instead of answering him in words, I resumed my attack on his lips and ground down against him. When I felt his hands on my back drift lower and grasp my buttocks, pulling me against his body, there was a flash going off in the room. Or inside my head. It was hard to tell. To me, it seemed like blinding light embraced us completely. So bright it hurt my eyes and my brain. As it grew in intensity, I pulled back screaming from the pain. As I was suffering the worst pain so far in my entire life, I was vaguely aware of Aaron holding me, mumbling calming words in my ear.

“It’s ok, it’s ok. Don’t be afraid, just let it happen.” Over and over he repeated this, until it became true and I could face the pain head on without being dragged under and destroyed.

Finally, it subsided. Ebbed out. I clung to Aaron, curled up against his body like a child seeking comfort from a parent. As I opened my eyes, I expected my world to have changed but instead there was nothing. Everything was as it had always been. Shaking, I sat up. Aaron kept a hand on my back to steady me.

“How are you feeling?”

“Shaky, but still me. You know, normal…” I looked over at him. “I thought something would happen. You know, a change.” The insecurity in my voice made me blush.

“But it has.” Aaron’s face shone with a profound happiness. “Come.” He took my hand and led me to the mirror by the front door. Standing me in front of him, he placed his hands on my shoulders. I looked at myself, but couldn’t see anything. Until I noticed the rash had come full circle. Great, even uglier. Then as if on cue it started itching like mad. I squirmed against Aaron and he chuckled.

“Go on, scratch it.” Scrunching my nose at him at his slightly odd suggestion, I nonetheless wasted little time in doing as he proposed. It was just that itchy. As I clawed at my neck, desperately trying to alleviate the irritation, I gasped at the sensation of my skin coming off. Then I realized it was actually coming off. Peeling just where the rash had been. Once I had started, I couldn’t stop removing the flaking skin. Disgusted, I tried to turn from Aaron, but he held me in place with his hands now on my hips. That’s when I saw a hint of black underneath the loose skin. With eyes growing wider every second, I saw the markings on my neck being revealed piece by piece. A beautiful necklace, only it was part of me. Forever. With the skin gone, we stood together admiring my neck. Aaron looked as if he was about to cry.

“Oh, David. It’s beautiful. You’re beautiful.” He kissed the nape of my neck. “I’ve longed for this moment for so long. I love you so much.”

When he realized what he had said, he fell silent and a hint of worry crept into his eyes. I decisively turned around still in his arms and placed my hands on his shoulders. Rising up on my toes, I kissed him again, this time without mind numbing pain as a result. I was intensely relieved about that.

“I love you too, Aaron. I have always loved you. This is more than I could ever imagine happening.”

We stood there, kissing, exploring our new closeness, when I came back to my question.

“But what happens now?”

“We’ll graduate, I apparently have some movies to make, you might want to look for a job…”

His statement sounded so mundane. Weren’t we supposed be these amazing creatures of light, traveling the universe looking for civilizations to learn from, assist and educate? Aaron started laughing.

“You should see the look on your face. I told you it takes time for you to be able to travel and I’m not going anywhere without you. Besides, I don’t think I’m quite ready with Earth. It still needs a lot of work, a lot of light…”

As sad and true as this was, I was actually relieved. Time would be good. Just how much time were we talking about, though?

“When do you think we could leave?”

“I’d guess a few hundred years from now…?”

My face must have betrayed my astonishment, because he laughed again.

“Like I said, we have all the time in the world to deal with this. Together, there’s so much we can do.”