Mental Games - 2. A Time of Uncertainty

After making the phone call, Mike went outside to wait for the taxi. He nervously shifted his weight back and forth, from one leg to the other, and was becoming more frustrated with every second that passed. 'Why is it taking so long for the stupid cab to show up?' he wondered.

When the taxi finally arrived, Mike hurriedly reached for the door handle and jerked the rear door open. He then hopped inside and told the driver where he was going, before ordering the man to drive as fast as he could. The ride seemed to take forever, although that probably wasn’t the case. It just seemed that way, because Mike was so worried about Adam.

When the cab pulled up in front of the hospital, Mike excitedly handed the driver a few bills, bolted out of his seat and raced toward the main entrance. After entering the lobby, Mike darted off in the direction of the front desk and quickly spotted a hospital aide working behind the counter. Nearly out of breath, he asked the older woman if she could tell him where Adam was being treated.

“Are you related?” she inquired, while studying Mike’s face.

“I’m his brother,” Mike lied, while at the same time trying to rush her along. He'd opted to use this little white lie because he knew the aide might only be allowed to give this information to a relative.

“I’m afraid the computer is showing that your brother is still in surgery,” she announced after looking at the monitor.

“There has to be a waiting room there! Right?” Mike pressed, as he nervously hopped from one leg to the other. “How do I get to it? Maybe someone there can tell me how he's doing!”

As soon as she gave him the directions to find his way to the waiting room outside of the Operating Room, Mike raced from the lobby and sped down the main corridor. His blond locks were bouncing up and down the entire time, as he sprinted to the elevators. After reaching his destination, Mike anxiously pressed the button to summon his ride. When the doors didn’t immediately open, he impatiently pressed the button several more times, thinking it might speed up the process.

When the elevator finally arrived, Mike hurried inside and began to continually poke the button for the floor he wanted. When the doors didn’t close as rapidly as he desired, he repeatedly punched the ‘close’ button instead, trying to speed up the process. Just before the doors came together, someone thrust his arm into the gap and caused the doors to open again. When this happened, an orderly casually got on the elevator with Mike. This only served to frustrate Mike even more and he angrily glared at the unwanted intruder for hindering his progress.

Once the new occupant was inside, he pressed the button for the floor he wanted. Since Mike was upset that the orderly had just slowed him down even more, because the man was going to a lower floor, Mike anxiously began punching the button to close the doors again. Mike was also constantly wringing his hands and shifting his weight back and forth, as he impatiently waited for the elevator to start moving.

When the doors finally closed, the elevator began its journey upward and stopped a few seconds later. When the doors opened, it was so the orderly could get off at the floor he had chosen. Mike groaned as the man took his time exiting the elevator, but as soon as the guy managed to step through the doors, Mike started punching the button for the floor he wanted again.

“Damn! Why is everything taking so long?” Mike wondered aloud, just before he reached his destination.

Once he was out of the lift, Mike began jogging down the hallway in the direction he had been told to go. Just before he reached the waiting room, he pulled up and made a quick stop at the nurses’ station instead. He was hoping someone there might be able to give him a little more information about Adam's condition first.

“Can you tell me if Adam Washburn is out of surgery yet?” he asked the nurse on duty.

“And you are?” she responded, eying him suspiciously.

“His brother,” Mike lied again, as he leaned against the counter and mentally attempted to urge her along.

The nurse appeared as if she didn’t quite believe him, but she didn’t press the issue. Instead, she looked up Adam’s name on the computer.

“He has just been moved out of surgery and into the recovery area,” she announced.

“Can I see him?” Mike followed, looking hopeful.

“Not in recovery,” she advised him. “Why don’t you go make yourself comfortable in the waiting room. I’ll come and get you when he’s moved to a room.”

Mike nodded his understanding and walked away from the nurses’ station. After entering the waiting room, he had barely sat down before his cell phone rang. Since he suspected it might be Adam’s parents calling, he answered it without looking at the number first.

“Hello.”

“Mike, this is Adam’s father,” the voice on the other end announced. Mike could hear the voice cracking slightly, so he realized Mr. Washburn was upset and worried too. “Do you know what happened to him?”

“I have no idea,” Mike replied, spitting the words out quickly and running them together. “I was just told that he was brought to the hospital, but they didn’t tell me why. They still haven’t told me what’s wrong with him, but they said he is out of surgery and in the recovery area.”

“That's promising, but we’re having trouble getting a flight out of here, so we won’t be able to leave until later,” Adam’s father explained. Mike thought his voice sounded unsteady and thought it was possible that Adam's dad might burst into tears at any second. “My wife and I were hoping you were at the hospital with him, since it’s going to take us a while to get there.”

“Yeah, I’m at the hospital now, but I’ve been told I can’t see him yet,” Mike responded, trying to reassure him. “The nurse said she’d let me know when he's moved to a room and then I'll be able to be with him. I promise I’ll call you back just as soon as I find out anything more about his condition.”

“Thanks, Mike. We need you to tell us everything you learn about what happened and how he's doing,” Mr. Washburn announced. “Please call us with whatever details you’re able to find out.”

"I'll will, so don't worry," Mike replied. "I'll also try to find out why they operated on him, because they haven't told me if it was the result of a medical problem or an injury. I promise to stay with him until you arrive."

“Thanks, Mike. I’m going to call the hospital now and see if I can get any more information out of them,” Adam’s dad stated. “I know they don’t like to give out details to non-relatives, and that might be why you're having trouble finding anything out, but maybe I can persuade them to tell me more over the phone.”

“Mr. Washburn, I knew they weren’t going to tell me anything if I wasn’t related, so I told them I was Adam’s brother,” Mike admitted. “I’m not sure if it helped very much though, because they still haven’t told me very much.”

“Actually, I’m very glad that you did that and they think you're Adam’s brother. It lets us know you’ll be able to be with him before we get there and that makes us feel a great deal better,” Mr. Washburn admitted. “I’m still going to do everything I can to get someone from the hospital to tell me more though. I’m planning to press the issue as hard as I need to in order to get to the bottom of this.”

“That’s great! Please call me back and let me know whatever they tell you then,” Mike pleaded. “I’m going crazy not knowing what’s wrong with him.”

“Sure thing, Mike,” Mr. Washburn agreed. “We’ll see you shortly after our plane lands. We won’t be stopping anywhere else and will come directly to the hospital from the airport.”

Mike could barely sit still since he was so worked up and worried about Adam. He had no idea what was wrong with his boyfriend, but it was obvious that Adam had some sort of serious problem. No matter how hard he tried, Mike couldn’t prevent his mind from imagining the worst.

After sitting around for a little while longer, Mike was starting to get antsy again. He was about ready to get up and go out to the nurses’ station to see if he could find out anything more when his cell phone rang again. Once more, he answered it without checking the display first, since he had a strong hunch it was Adam’s father calling back.

“Mike, I was told that Adam had apparently been beaten up and from what I was told, it was pretty bad too! What the hell has been going on there?” Mr. Washburn wanted to know. “Was Adam having trouble with someone or had he been threatened?”

“No, not that I'm aware of, sir,” Mike answered. “All I know is that Adam told me he would probably go downtown and grab a beer after his last exam ended.”

“He must have either been heading there or coming back then, because I was told he was found in an alley behind a row of businesses off campus,” Mr. Washburn explained, as his voice started cracking again. “From the sound of it, Adam wasn’t in very good shape when the medical crew got to him.”

“Damn! I can’t imagine what could have possibly happened or who would have done anything like that,” Mike replied, totally baffled.

“I was informed that a call came in to the 911 center and the caller advised the operator about a bloody and unconscious young man he'd discovered in the alley,” Adam’s father continued. “I was told the ambulance crew found Adam in pretty bad shape when they arrived and the doctor said he and his colleagues have repaired the internal damage that he'd suffered. The doctor also stated that they had to relieve the pressure that was building up on Adam's brain.”

Mr. Washburn stopped speaking for a few seconds and Mike knew it was because he was choking up. He could hear it in the man's voice before he stopped talking.

“Adam also had some broken bones, which the doctors have set,” Adam’s father continued a few seconds later. “This tells me it must have been one hell of a beating. When the doctor first described the extent of Adam’s injuries to me, I immediately assumed he had been hit by a car or something of that nature, but I was told that was doubtful. I was informed the alley where his body was discovered is very short and narrow, so it would have been difficult for a car to be going fast enough to do so much damage.”

“I don’t know what to tell you then, because he’s never had any trouble that I know of,” Mike assured him, although he was beginning to doubt this fact himself. Maybe Adam had merely opted to withhold the information from him, so he wouldn’t worry. “My guess would be that Adam was either mistaken for someone else or it happened while he was being robbed.”

“He definitely wasn’t robbed, because he still had his wallet and cell phone in his pockets when they found him. At least that was what I have been told,” Mr. Washburn countered, sounding both confused and concerned. “In fact, the person who first called me said Adam still had those items in his possession and it was due to those things that she was able to locate us.”

“I didn’t think about that, since it was how they got a hold of me too, so I have absolutely no idea what might have happened to Adam then,” Mike stated, apologetically. “I guess we’ll just have to wait and see what Adam can tell us, when we wakes up.”

“Yes, I suppose you are right,” Mr. Washburn added. “That’s fine, but I hope you will stay at the hospital with him until we get there. His mother and I will catch up with you as soon as we can. In the meantime, please tell Adam we love him if you get a chance to speak with him before we get there. With any luck, we should arrive around ten tonight.”

“Ok, I’ll do that, but please be careful,” Mike replied. “I don’t want anything to happen to the two of you on the way here.”

Once they had ended their conversation, Mike looked about the room to see who else was there and discovered he was totally alone. He felt somewhat better now, since he knew a little more about what had happened to Adam, along with having someone else he could share his concerns with, but he was still worried about his boyfriend. A few minutes later, the nurse popped her head through the doorway and spoke.

“Your brother has just been moved from recovery to a room, but he’s still unconscious,” she announced. “You can go see him now, if you wish.”

“I do,” Mike responded without hesitation, while also giving her a weak smile. The nurse then told him the room number and gave him a brief explanation about how to get there.

Mike walked as fast as he could as he made his way from the waiting area to the room where Adam had been moved. As soon as he walked through the doorway, Mike was finally able to see for himself the condition Adam was in. As he looked down at his boyfriend, he immediately burst into tears. Adam’s face was not only hideously bruised and discolored, but much of his head was also wrapped in bandages. Adam’s right arm and both legs were in casts and each one was hooked up to a series of pulleys that dangled from the ceiling. There was also a collection of tubes and wires extending from Adam's body that were attached to several devices located on either side of the bed.

Mike was totally stunned and barely able to recognize his lover and best friend. He couldn't believe what terrible shape Adam was in and was unable to fathom who or what might have caused so much damage. Once the reality of the situation finally sank in, Mike felt his stomach start to churn and he was immediately fearful that he was going to vomit.

‘Who in the hell could have done this to him?’ Mike thought, as he moved closer to the bed. ‘Who could possibly hate him so much that he felt he had to beat him this badly?’

Mike automatically pulled up a chair beside the bed so he could sit down. Then, he instinctively reached out and touched Adam’s hand, before he began stroking Adam’s arm. A few seconds later, Mike’s emotions overcame him and he began to cry again. No, this time he was sobbing and struggling to keep it together, because he couldn’t stand seeing Adam like this. Adam hardly ever got sick and Mike had never seen him in a condition anything close to this before. Feeling helpless, Mike bowed his head and silently began to pray that his boyfriend would be fine and somehow would manage to pull through this terrible ordeal. It was imperative for Adam to get better and Mike needed it to happen, because Adam and he had repeatedly stated their desire that the two of them would share a very long and happy life together.

Mike stayed by Adam’s side well into the evening, as he held Adam’s hand and talked quietly to him. Mike was occasionally asked to step out of the room for a few minutes, whenever a nurse or doctor came in to tend to Adam. In fact, Mike had just left the room again and was waiting in the hallway when he heard Adam’s father call his name.

“Mike, how is he doing?” Mr. Washburn asked. “Has there been any change?”

“Hi Mr. and Mrs. Washburn,” Mike greeted them as he turned around. Mike immediately thought that Mr. Washburn looked haggard and it appeared as if Mrs. Washburn had been crying. “No, there hasn’t been any change in his condition, and I want to warn you to brace yourselves before entering his room. He looks awful, but I’m sure it’s not as bad as it might appear.”

Mike thought he noticed some of the color drain from their faces after he'd said this and the Washburns immediately began to cling to one another for support. A few minutes later, just after the nurse had advised them they could enter Adam’s room, the Washburns followed Mike inside. As they passed through the doorway, they could see Adam lying motionless in bed and Mike heard Adam’s mother gasp before she rushed past him. After moving over to the side of the bed where she could be close to Adam’s prostrate form, she then visually examined his condition for a couple of minutes more, before reaching out to touch her son’s only appendage that wasn't in a cast. She did this with great tenderness, as the tears began to cascade down her cheeks.

Noting his wife's reaction, Mr. Washburn walked up to her from behind and wrapped his arms around her trembling body. At that moment, she turned around and began to sob hysterically into her husband’s shoulder, as they continued to stand vigil at their son’s bedside.

“Why don’t I give you two some time to be alone with him,” Mike offered. “I’ll be in the waiting room just down the hall if you need me.”

Mr. Washburn nodded slightly to signal he had heard Mike's offer, before Mike turned around and moved toward the door. Mike didn’t actually want to leave Adam again, but he realized the Washburns needed some time alone with him now. For that reason, he offered to make this painful sacrifice and voluntarily walked away from the bedside of the person he truly loved and was deeply concerned about.

As he exited Adam’s room, Mike decided to swing by the vending machines next, so he could grab a soda and snack before heading to the waiting room. He quickly downed the snack, since he hadn’t had anything to eat in many hours, but he merely sipped at the soda. He also absentmindedly thumbed his way through some of the ancient magazines that were there to help entertain those in limbo. Nothing grabbed his attention or distracted him, though, because he couldn’t stop thinking about Adam. Even if they weren’t currently in the same room, Mike could still see Adam in his mind’s eye, bandaged, in casts and hooked up to a myriad of medical devices. Mike’s brain was totally consumed with these mental images of his lover’s condition when Adam’s parents walked up to him and spoke.

“Adam’s doctor just came by and asked us to step out of the room for a short time so he could examine Adam,” Mr. Washburn began, but Mike could tell that Adam’s father looked mildly irritated about this inconvenience. “Before we agreed to do as he asked, though, I took a couple of minutes to question him first. Unfortunately, what he told us was quite disheartening, because he said there’s a possibility that Adam may have suffered some brain damage, although he can’t be certain about that just yet. He also explained that Adam might have some nerve damage in his right arm or could possibly even experience a loss of fine motor control in his right hand. If any of those things occur, the damage may be permanent.”

Adam’s mother continued to sniffle as her husband told Mike this news and she held a tissue against her face. Mike audibly gasped when he heard what the doctor had told Adam's father, because he quickly recognized the potential impact and implied repercussions involved, if any of those things were true.

“Will Adam still be able to go to med school and become a doctor then?” Mike asked, since he knew how important doing this was to Adam.

“It will depend on the extent of the damage, both to his brain and his arm, but right now it doesn’t look promising,” Mr. Washburn admitted with a tinge of disappointment in his voice. “I also inquired about having Adam transferred to a hospital closer to our home, so we could spend more time with him, but the doctor wasn’t keen about doing it. Instead, he recommended that we wait until after Adam had regained consciousness. The doctor said by doing this he would be better able to assess the extent of the potential damage first, as well as being able to determine how to accomplish the goal of getting him home without risking further complications. He was hesitant to make any determination until after he's observed Adam for a while.

“The doctor also explained that he was concerned about taking Adam on a flight in his current condition, because it could aggravate his injuries or possibly do even more damage. This could happen due to the changing cabin pressure or result if the plane were to run into severe turbulence,” Mr. Washburn continued. “When I inquired about driving Adam home instead, the doctor said a long road trip could produce similar negative effects. Any bouncing around inside the vehicle over rough roads or any sudden stops, including any jerking motions to his body that could happen if the vehicle was attempting to avoid an accident, could be just as harmful. Since we can’t move him, we’ll stay here for as long as we can, but we still might have to count on you to be here for him at some point. This will be especially true if my wife and I eventually have to return to our jobs.”

“Of course I’ll do whatever is needed!” Mike immediately agreed. “It won’t be a problem at all.”

“We also want you to come stay with us when we’re eventually able to bring Adam home,” Mrs. Washburn added. “You can help him while he’s convalescing, since my husband and I will both have to work. I’m also sure there will be some things Adam would rather have you do for him, instead of his father or me.”

“Of course! I’ll do that too,” Mike confirmed. “I want to be with him throughout the entire healing process and I plan to stay by his side until he’s better again.”

“We knew you’d feel that way,” Mrs. Washburn continued, while giving Mike a weak smile. “My husband and I both want you to know that you’ll always be more than welcome in our home. We realize how deeply Adam loves you, which means we love you too. We want you to know that you may stay with us for as long as you, or Adam, desires. We also think it is time for you to start calling us George and Rita.”

After Mike agreed to do this, she walked over and gave him a hug. Once they had separated, Adam’s father shook Mike’s hand. In fact, he grasped Mike's hand in both of his and stared directly into Mike's eyes, to let him know how much they appreciated what he was doing. They were all aware that they would be facing a long and difficult road ahead until Adam recovered, but each one was willing to do whatever it took to make it happen.