Extra Innings - 20. Chapter 19

Going to classes the next day was something of a challenge. While there weren’t any problems with going to my English class, I wasn’t sure how much use I would be in my conditioning and agility training courses. A few moments in the presence of my instructors made it clear that while they were sympathetic, they also weren’t going to be granting me any special favours. My agility training teacher in the afternoon was particularly honest about her assessment of my ability to get through the physical aspect of the coursework,

“You don’t run with your arms. You’ll be fine for the stuff we’re doing. We won’t be doing anything that will need you to strain your arm for a few weeks, and by then you’ll have healed up nicely. Go. Catch up with everyone else.”

I jogged to catch up to the rest of class. Today we were starting off fairly slowly and doing some jogging around the campus to determine a baseline level of fitness. Later on, we would be working on different aspects of agility training and the different ways that could be incorporated into different sports. I knew about agility ladders already, but I wanted to see how other sports would increase their players’ agility, and it would be interesting to learn. If nothing else, it’d be helpful for baseball, whenever I could get back into that.

I still hadn’t told Coach that I had been injured. I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to explain that to him, and it’s not like I had a chance to see him since the attack happened. I’m sure that I would have to deal with it, maybe tonight at practice I could talk to him about it and see what could be done. I did have a note from the doctors saying that I shouldn’t be doing anything with my arm if I could avoid it. Hopefully I wasn’t cut from the team, but I wasn’t sure what exactly I could do without my arm being able to work.

Once classes were over for the day, I hopped over to the dining hall for a quick dinner before heading back to my room. I changed into my baseball gear and dropped off my school stuff, As I was leaving, Vincente walked back into the room.

“Practice today? You sure you should be going out there, it’s not like you can throw or catch or anything like that with your arm the way it is.” Vincente said.

I replied to him. “Yeah, I know, but I’m still on the team until they cut me, so I should be showing up to everything. Besides, Coach doesn’t know yet, so I’ll have to explain it to him there, and see what he wants to do with me. I should get going though, it’s almost time for practice. I’ll see you later, I guess.”

I grabbed my stuff and slung my baseball bag over my right shoulder. Vincente held the door for me as I left the room, and I started the long trek over to the stadium. Bryce was there when I got there, since he always enjoys getting there early to change. Since I already changed at home, I didn’t have to worry about getting there early. When he saw me, he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and brought me directly to the Coach’s office.

“You need to tell him, Devin. Don’t worry, Coach is pretty fair, he’ll let you explain everything and then make a decision.”

Bryce left to go back into the locker room with the rest of the team. I was shaking in front of the door to Coach’s office. My left arm felt numb, and I realized I hadn’t changed my bandages from this morning like I should have, so they were stained red with blood. I was worried about that, both because I was still bleeding a bit and because it meant Coach would be able to see how bad the injury was.

I didn’t get a chance to knock on the door, as it opened from the inside. Coach was in the doorway. He took one look at me, and then glanced at my arm before he waved me in.

“Williams, inside. Now. Looks like we have something to talk about.”

I came inside the office and stood in front of the Coach’s office desk. He stood behind the desk and looked me over.

“Am I about to learn you were the unnamed student who was attacked on campus the other day? The one who’s told campus security that it was a hate crime?” Coach asked distastefully, eyeing the wound apprehensively.

“Yes sir, Coach. I was stabbed, which is why my arm is in a bandage right now. I’m sorry I didn’t change it before coming to practice, it looks a lot worse than it is, I think.”

Coach sighed and walked around the desk to stand next to me.

“Williams, this isn’t about how bad it looks but what I’m supposed to do with you. I took a chance keeping you on the team this year, and we both knew you weren’t going to see much playing time as a freshman, but what am I supposed to do with a player that can’t catch or throw? You know how many guys were cut that’d love a shot at your spot on the team. How can I look any of them in the eyes and say that they can’t play, while you sit there and hold a spot on the team? This puts me in an awful bind, son. How long is the arm going to be out of commission for, anyways?”

I handed Coach Finnegan the note from the medical staff.

“The hospital said it should only be a couple of weeks before I can take the bandages off, and then another week or so to make sure there’s no lasting nerve damage. I could be back on the field and playing again in February. It wouldn’t be that long…” I trailed off, not knowing if I should keep going or if I sounded like I was begging at this point.

“Tonight you’re sitting in the stands. I can’t deal with the decision right now, but you’re no good to anyone on the field. I don’t want the others watching you stand there and do nothing. Having said that, you’re still a member of the team until you’re cut, so you have to be here. I’ll figure out what to do with you later in the week. Now get out of here, I have a practice to run.”

I ran out of the office and through the locker room, ignoring the confused looks on everyone’s faces as I ran past them with my bag and out of the locker room. I knew that the guys would be talking and that Coach was probably going to tell them exactly what was going on, but I did what I was told and found a spot in the stands where I was close enough that I could watch what was going on, and see if I could pick up what was going on from there. It was odd to be in a baseball stadium but not be on the field, I couldn’t think of the last time I went and watched anything related to baseball instead of playing.

I tried to think about where I’d want to be to watch everything and have the best view. If I was behind home plate, I’d be closer to where Coach was for the fielding part of the day, but I’d probably miss out on the pitchers’ talks that would be happening in the bullpen. Maybe this was a sort of test for me as well, to try and tell Coach where I thought I best fit in within the team. It shouldn’t have been such a difficult decision, and after awhile I headed towards the outfield bleachers where I could hear the pitching coach give his talk.

I could hear Coach getting the team out to run a few drills, and the pitchers were there as well. Looked like Coach was trying out some new play of some kind for the whole team to work on. I couldn’t hear what they were saying over in the infield, but I could see what everyone was supposed to be doing by watching, and I could probably figure out what they were doing by observing. I should have stayed behind the plate, but I doubt I would have been able to hear anything anyways.

I watched the first few times the play was run, it was a standard situation on how to deal with bunts down each of the foul lines. I always hated having to deal with bunts, there were so many different situations in which to lay down a bunt, and each one had different players being involved in the situation. As a pitcher, it made things more complicated to remember because I wasn’t always sure which line I was supposed to cover on a bunt, or even if I was supposed to. I hated that I wasn’t going to be there to run through the plays on my own and would have to only sit and watch.

I was focusing intently on the play as they ran through different bunt scenarios, trying to memorize the way each pitcher moved in reaction to the bunt. As the situations got run through more and more, it started to make sense the way each of the pitchers moved to cover each potential bunt path. My focus was so intent on the baseball happening on the field that I was startled when someone sat next to me and shoved my bag onto the ground beneath us.

“Hey man, aren’t you supposed to be down there too? Or did your coach tell you to hit the road and you won’t leave yet?”

“Vincente! What the hell are you doing here? I thought you were busy tonight.”

I turned beside me and saw Vincente sitting there. I couldn’t figure out why he was here or if this was the first time he’d come to watch the baseball team.

“Nah. you’re the one who’s busy. Not that busy though, if you’re sitting out here and watching. So tell me, what’s going on? Why are you up here and not down there?

“Coach isn’t sure what to do with me.” I replied honestly. “I’m not off the team yet, but I can’t do anything. There’s no point being on the field and being in the way, he said. So he said to come watch from the stands and pick up what I could.”

“And the reason you’re way out here instead of right up against the mesh behind the dish?” He asked.

“I wanted to be here when the pitchers showed up so I could hear what our pitching coach had to say. I didn’t realize they’d be doing whole team fielding work first, and it’s going to be distracting for me to head all the way around the field again. They’ll be done talking by the time I get there anyways, and I can see well enough from here.”

I didn’t want to add that I felt betrayed and that I was going to be cut, so it was easier for me to start distancing myself from the team so it hurt a little less when Coach told me my season was done. I was certain that the decision had already been made, but that he didn’t want to make a scene when I was already in gear and in front of the rest of the team.

Vincente didn’t respond right away. Choosing to watch some of the practice go by and a few more repetitions of the bunt play before he turned to speak to me.

“You might not stay on this team, but you did make the team. You can always make it again next year. This injury doesn’t have to end your career. You know how many professionals get hurt and come back with bigger contracts after, so don’t think that you’re done. You might be surprised.”

I could see the pitchers and pitching coach heading our way, which is when Vincente decided to leave. As he was leaving, he called back to me.

“Catch you later, think about it. Better listen well, just in case.”

The pitchers and catchers arrived and clamored into the bullpen to listen to whatever our coach was going to talk about. Bryce offered me a nod and a wave, and the coach himself offered a curt nod before turning to address the rest of the pitching staff. I was happy that I was able to hear what was being said, but I wasn’t thinking too much about it. I didn’t think it would matter, though the fact that the pitching coach nodded at me had to be a good thing. Thankfully, it seemed like it was only going to be a short discussion about ramping up our pitch counts as the training season wore on. Eventually we’d need to be ready to pitch full games… those of us who’d be starting pitchers anyways. I figured that even if I did pitch, I’d be in relief so I wouldn’t have to worry too much about my arm stamina. Having said that, anything I could learn to maintain the arm would be a good thing to learn, especially since I now had this wonderful arm injury to deal with.

My focus started to wander once the pitchers started throwing. Nothing that was said was going to be useful to me, considering everyone’s mechanics was a little different from everyone else. I started thinking about those two guys, and whether or not I’d see them again. I hoped not, unless it was to sentence them or testify against them.

When practice was over, I walked out of the stadium and waited near the front entrance for the team to show up. I knew it was a bit of a risk, considering this is where those two guys who attacked me first saw me, but I needed to see the rest of the team and try to explain to them why I wasn’t with them tonight, and I didn’t want to accidentally miss them. I knew some of them left early sometimes, so I stood outside and waited in my uniform.

When the first of them started to come out of the stadium, Grady saw me and waved me over. I wasn’t sure what was going on, but I wasn’t going to complain if the boys still wanted to spend more time with me. Part of me started to panic, thinking this was how the team was going to tell me I’d been kicked out, but I figured if they weren’t going to keep me on the team, Grady wouldn’t have called me over at all. He didn’t seem like the type to play that kind of cruel trick on someone.

Grady dragged me back towards the locker room. Now I was getting nervous, and I couldn’t help but think about when Sean dragged me into the locker room back home to fuck my face, or when Parker beat me unconscious in that same locker room. This would be a lot more like what Parker did, and I wouldn’t be able to defend myself this time, not with my arm the way it was right now.

When we got back to the locker room, I was completely unsurprised to see the whole team there, all dressed back in their street clothes. What did surprise me was the round of applause that greeted me when I came in. It looked like everyone was still here and was clapping. Nothing prepared me for the sight of dozens of college jocks being this supportive of me, I thought they would have been happy to replace me with an uninjured player.

Bryce stepped forward to speak for the team.

“Coach told us everything that happened, and I filled in the stuff that he didn’t know about a few minutes ago. We think that there’s something that we need to say to you, but whether we can say it depends on you.”

Bryce walked right up to me and whispered in my ear.

“Ready or not, you have to come out now. Everyone already knows, but they deserve to hear it from you, and you deserve the chance to tell them yourself.”

It looked like I didn’t have a choice again. I was going to have to come out earlier than I would have preferred. One of these days it would be nice to come out on my own, without someone forcing me to do it before I was ready. I took a deep breath and faced the crowd.

“Whatever you’ve heard, it’s true. I was attacked Sunday night by a couple of gay bashers. I am also bisexual, which is why they targeted me. The only reason they knew about me is because I’m currently dating a guy. So no worries, the only guy I’ll be watching in the showers is Bryce.”

I turned to Bryce and whispered in his ear. “Happy now?”

I wasn’t able to hear Bryce’s surprised response over the sound of the locker room erupting into whistles and catcalls. From the look on his face, I guess Bryce hadn’t expected me to tell everyone we were together, but I figure this was a bit of payback for him outing us to the fraternity. Besides, a lot of these were the same guys, so some already knew anyways.

Once the noise settled down a bit, Luke stepped forward. I knew he was an older member of the team, so I guess he was speaking for all of them.

“You’re new here, I’ve told you that before that you’re new and have a lot to learn about this team. The first thing you have to learn is we stick together. You’re a member of the team, nothing’s going to change that, and you can bet your ass that we’ll be telling Coach the same thing.”

I was surprised to hear that, I thought that Luke disliked me because I was eager and didn’t know how to act on a college team. It was nice to hear him, as a leader on the team, stand up and say that everyone had my back. I didn’t know what to do with this outpouring of support, so I stood there and awkwardly looked back into the crowd of people staring back at me.

“Thank you guys. I don’t know what else to say. I’m glad you think of me as part of the team, and I’m looking forward to getting back on the field as soon as possible.”

The team started filing out of the locker room. I ended up going last, hand in hand with Bryce. Coach Finnegan and the rest of the staff were outside and watched us all leave. I caught his eye, and he looked back at me with another unreadable expression on his face.

Bryce walked me home after we disentangled ourselves from the rest of the team. It was getting late, so I said my goodnights to Vincente. As I was crawling under the covers, I thought about everything that happened today and couldn’t believe how supportive everyone had been about my being on the team and being bisexual. Maybe Bryce was right, and there really wasn’t anything to fear anymore.