With Trust - 8. Social Dilemmas

If I was a pervert, then Milo Trust was a slut. An evasive slut who disappeared as soon as I went to retrieve a few damp washcloths. Oh, he was good. Out the door less than five minutes after I came all over his hand. My parents had been in the living room and hadn’t even heard him leave. I didn’t have his phone number, so I couldn’t call him and ask why he’d ditched me again. I was confused, especially after the encounter we’d shared. I could understand why he’d be embarrassed, and maybe why he’d run out the first time he did last night. But, he’d come back. Sure, it was for his jacket, but considering that I still had that very jacket in my car on Monday morning, I doubted that it was the important thing to him. He’d come back, and things had felt so perfect. Those magazines I looked at still put us to shame, but for me and Milo, it was perfect. My first sexual experience with a guy, and I couldn’t even bask in the afterglow because once again, I was concerned over Milo Trust and what the hell went on in that thick skull of his.

At least when I met Caleb, Haily and Joe at the Hollander’s near the school that morning, Caleb didn’t so much as bring up Milo. If he’d thought about Milo Trust’s presence at all after he left my house, then it certainly didn’t show. Then again, it wouldn’t surprise me if Caleb hadn’t given it a second thought. He was probably just satisfied that it wasn’t Jame Graham hanging around. Or maybe, I thought, he wasn’t about to make a big deal out of it in front of Haily and Joe. Either way, I was glad that Milo’s name hadn’t been mentioned. I was irritated with him, and I doubted I could make him sound like a good guy with my friends while I was so frustrated.

I just didn’t understand why he had to leave like that. There were probably a hundred excuses that he could come up with. I’m sure any of them would have been better than what I was thinking. Beneath all of my frustration and confusion as I continued to try to understand Milo, there was blunt concern that he regretted. Regretted something, or maybe everything that had happened the night before. It made me question my own behavior. I knew I didn’t force him to do anything. Not at all. But at the same time, I couldn’t help but wonder if my timing was appropriate. True, I’d been thinking about initiating contact like that with Milo since I’d met him, but I guess I could have found a more appropriate time. Like, when he wasn’t over at my house venting about his family.

I was worried about that, too. Milo’s family. His dad. He’d said they were fighting, and I hoped that he wasn’t in trouble. I wished there was a way to find out. Unfortunately, it wasn’t like I saw Milo until parenting class, so I supposed that I had a long day of suspense and overanalyzing the situation ahead of me.

"Here, eat this. I can’t finish," Haily said.

I looked towards her and turned my nose up at the half-eaten bran muffin that she was holding out for me. I’d hardly eaten anything when I met my friends at the bakery for breakfast. This seemed to concern Haily more than anyone else, and she’d been following me with that muffin ever since we arrived at school.

"You sure?" she asked, pouting. "You’re not getting sick again, are you?"

I sighed, and forced myself to smile at Haily as we navigated our way through the halls, crowded with several members of the varsity football team standing around, clad in their purple and orange team jackets, and further cluttered by several girls. It was homecoming week, and there were banners and flags in every single hall, along with a sense of excitement emanating from the student body. Generally, I enjoyed the atmosphere of it all. A bunch of testosterone-happy guys bouncing off the walls had never hurt anything, if you asked me. But at the moment, I was just too distracted to care about any of it. Unfortunately, I was afraid that my distraction was also hindering my ability to be a good friend. Haily was just trying to help, but like a lot of her recent behavior, it only had me feeling smothered. She’d showed up at Hollander’s that morning with Joe and Caleb teasing her because of the change in her wardrobe. She was still prone to jeans and a t-shirt, but what she’d dressed in today definitely hadn’t come from the men’s department, like most of her clothes. Today she was dressed like most of the girls in our school in jeans that hugged every curve she had and a close-fitting red, long-sleeved t-shirt. Her hair was still back in its familiar braid, but she’d gone to the trouble of putting on lip-gloss. While Caleb and Joe had been teasing her through breakfast, she kept looking at me, probably waiting for me to tell her what I’d thought. Feeling uncomfortable with the looks she was giving me, I’d kept my mouth shut, and I was afraid that I’d hurt her feelings. The way she was frowning at the bran muffin now told me that I was in risk of doing it again.

"I’m fine, Haily, really. Thanks, though," I said, and then for good measure, added, "I think I ate too much pasta last night. I’ll be better by lunch."

"If you say so."

I sighed, feeling the need to say something more. But, before I could get around to it I heard my name and turned around.

"Larmont!"

I smiled at Brandon Sholer as he pushed through a group of his massive friends to get to me, wearing his team jacket, just like everyone else. Brandon and Caleb might have been rivals, but if I stayed away from everyone who Caleb saw that way, I wouldn’t have any friends at all; and beneath Brandon’s womanizing and cocky persona, there was actually a nice guy. Not to mention, he wasn’t bad to look at. He was an inch taller than me, and his straight blond hair was almost as light as mine, but he wasn’t as fair skinned. Blue eyes, boyish dimples, and a body fit to eat off of completed the package. He clasped my hand as he reached me, and unleashed those dimples at Haily. She openly rolled her eyes at him, but if Brandon noticed, it didn’t show as he handed me an orange flyer.

"We’re having a spirit rally tomorrow night here at the school," he announced. "Are you guys coming to the game on Friday?"

"We’ll be there," I replied. My friends and I usually went to one football game of the season, and that was usually homecoming. This year I was particularly looking forward to it because our school was going against Stratfort. There had never really been a rivalry between the two schools, because Stratfort sucked too much for there to be one, but I was curious to see some faces that might be familiar to Milo. "Good luck with the game, Brandon."

He smirked. "Who needs luck when you’ve got me?" he remarked. "I’ll see you guys later. Oh, and after the game, I’m throwing a party at my place. Stop by… you look good today, Haily."

I laughed at the way Haily blushed this time and waved to Brandon. "Later." I watched him walk away for a moment, appreciating the strut his walk had always had. When Brandon Sholer walked away, my focus was rarely anywhere other than his ass. But my focus was disrupted when a more unwelcome voice came from behind Haily and me.

"Yeah, Haily. You look good today. Those jeans are very becoming on you. You know, if I was your pants, I’d be coming, too."

I had to grab Haily’s arm when she whirled on Jame Graham, standing there with his obnoxious smile and big cheeks, wearing a green-and-white sweater that his grandma had probably made him last Christmas.

"And if I was your face, I’d be taking a shit!" Haily retorted, sounding outraged. It only got worse when Jame smirked at her. It seemed like he’d been harassing Haily since school started, and I for one was getting tired of it.

"Come on, Haily," I insisted, dragging her around Assface. "He’s not even worth it."

I felt Haily relax when I pulled her away, but I was glaring at Jame, only becoming a little furious myself when he ignored me and blew a kiss at Haily. I pulled her behind me in response, and turned on Jame. Now, it was Haily tugging on my arm.

"Why don’t you just back off?" I demanded. "I swear to god, next time I’ll let her kick your ass."

"Kinky!" Jame responded, still grinning in a way that had his cheeks all puffed out. "Looking forward to it."

"Oh, fuck yourself, Assface!" Haily snapped behind me, suddenly sounding exasperated. She started pulling me away, but I scowled at Jame until she got me turned around, too. How the hell Milo could be friends with that idiot was beyond my understanding. "I hate that guy," Haily said, drawing my attention.

"Yeah, I know. Let’s just..."

"Ignore him? Okay...so are we going to that party?" Haily asked me as we turned and headed up the stairs.

"Probably," I replied, smiling at her. "We’re still going to the game, right?"

"I plan on it. So does Caleb, but Joe might need some convincing."

"Joe?"

"He’s been cranky lately. But, he doesn’t have much more time to put in on his community service. I think he’ll get better once it’s over with."

I hummed in agreement and we walked to the locker we’d been sharing. I took a seat on the ground next to it and started to unload the books I’d taken home over the weekend while Haily wrestled with the lock. As soon as she opened it, she started grabbing her books, and it was probably a good thing she was distracted with that because she didn’t notice the folded piece of notebook paper that fell from the locker and landed next to me. I grabbed for it immediately, not even looking it over before I shoved it into my pocket; and as I looked up at Haily, it occurred to me that I should probably warn Milo that I was sharing a locker with her, especially if he were going to make a habit out of this. I smiled at the thought. A habit. I had no idea what his note said yet but already it was making up for the way he’d disappeared on me the night before. A little.

"What are you smiling about?" Haily remarked, glancing down at me.

I shook my head and stood to switch books between the locker and my backpack. "Nothing. I’ll see you at lunch?"

"Okay," Haily replied, and I started walking before I paused, and looked back at her.

"Brandon’s right," I said. "You look nice today; you really shouldn’t be stuck going to homecoming with me."

Haily cocked her head at me, but didn’t get a chance to respond as I walked away. I’d meant what I said, though. I should never have agreed to go to homecoming with her. She deserved to go with someone who’d actually appreciate it when she put an effort into her appearance. She deserved someone who could appreciate her.

As soon as I was out of sight, I lifted Milo’s note from my pocket, ready to know what he had to say for himself. Only, it wasn’t a note at all. There was only one thing written on that piece of paper, and that, was a phone number.

........................................

"So I guess I earned this, but not a goodbye, huh?"

Milo was no less than startled when I snuck up right behind him and dropped his piece of notebook paper in his lap, where he sat at our table in Mrs. Bates’s class. He turned brilliant green eyes up in my direction as he tugged at the collar of a new-looking black hooded sweatshirt; and as I took my seat next to him, lacking my usual smile, he was frowning at me when he lifted the piece of paper and placed it in front of us.

It was safe to say that despite what he’d left in my locker, some of my irritation was still present. I wasn’t as upset, deciding that giving me his phone number was sign enough that he was still interested in some contact; but over the course of a very long day, I’d decided that some of Milo’s hot-and-cold behavior was grating on my nerves. Especially the cold part.

"I thought..." he started, but then stopped as Tim passed by. We both greeted him, and then faced each other when Tim was safely in his seat, talking to someone else.

"You thought what?" I asked.

Milo narrowed his eyes on me. Another glare, no doubt. It was his cute, worried glare. I never thought that someone frowning could turn me on until I met him. But, I looked away, deciding to stay irritated.

"Do you think we could talk about this later?" he asked.

"When?"

"I don’t know," he responded, and I swore that I could hear a note of sarcasm in his tone. "I thought maybe you could use this."

I watched his long fingers, which had been so perfectly wrapped around my cock less than twenty-four hours ago, slide the folded piece of notebook paper in front of me. I hesitated for a moment before I picked it up and shoved it in my backpack.

"Why don’t you just come over after school?" I asked. I wasn’t really a phone person.

"Because," he replied, bringing his voice to a near whisper, "I need... I want to talk to you while you’re not... I mean, when you can’t..."

I looked curiously over at Milo, regretting it immediately, because as soon as I saw the look on his face, any frustration leftover from him ditching me disappeared and I felt a slow smile curling my lips. I just couldn’t stay mad at him, and god forbid if he ever figured that out. He was blushing again, ever so faintly, as he fidgeted with his hands, seeming unable to say what he wanted to say.

"Do I distract you, Milo?" I asked teasingly, and his eyes snapped sharply to mine. I chuckled.

"Shut up," he mumbled, and I rolled my eyes at him.

"Did you really wanna talk?" I asked, sobering, and he gave a nod.

"Okay," I said quietly. "I’ll call tonight, but you better have something to say about the way you took off last night."

"I had to do that," he said quickly. I issued a challenging look to that statement that clearly said I thought he was full of shit. "Okay," he relented. "I freaked out. Look, this is... new to me."

My expression softened as he faced me seriously, and I let out a breath. "I know," I told him. "But the thing is, you’re not the only one dealing with that."

Milo’s lips parted, the beginning of a word escaping him before he closed his mouth and frowned, suddenly looking guilty, like a little boy who’d just been scolded. I almost felt bad about it. Almost.

Nothing more was said on the matter as Mrs. Bates started class, five minutes after the bell rang. Once again, I found myself hardly paying attention to anything she was saying as I idly tapped my pen over my notebook, thinking about Milo. If I made him feel guilty, he was just going to have to deal with that. Maybe all of this was new to him, but it’s not like I had any clue about what I was doing, either. I suppose I was a little put off because what happened the night before should have meant something. At the time, it had. Yeah, getting off, literally, at the hands of the biggest crush I’d ever had was great and all, but while it was happening... I guess for a little while, I felt a little less lonely. It was nice to know that there was someone else there, who was just like me. It was nice to feel it. When I’d walked back into my room, I could practically feel myself glowing. But when I figured out that he was gone, all of it had seemed so pointless. It was like being abandoned. Left to wonder. I’m still fucking wondering, I thought, frowning as I looked over at him. He glanced up, meeting my eyes for a brief moment and graced me with a small smile. It was uncertain, but it was still a smile. I tried to return it, wondering if I’d ever figure out what I was going to do about him. I guess I’d just have to call him later and find out.

Or not.

I probably should have called. Milo had a point. It was hard to talk when all I wanted to do was touch him. When he was around, I felt like a dog with a new tennis ball. I didn’t like being told that I could look at it, but not play with it.

But, I didn’t call. In fact, I hadn’t even been home to call. After school on Monday, I’d volunteered to take Joe down to the police department. I’d stopped in to say hi to Uncle Ray, who’d shaved off his red beard. I’d hardly recognized him when I saw him. He looked ten years younger. Under that beard had been a kind, approachable face with pink cheeks and a thin mouth. I doubted that he’d be intimidating any bad guys anytime soon, but I held off on telling him that. After a short visit with Ray, and even saying hello to Officer Trujillo, I’d intended to go home. But it seemed so much easier to go to Stratfort instead. I should have called, though. The look on Milo’s face when he actually answered the door for once, said that I should have called. He let me come in, though. When I made a point to close his bedroom door, he’d mentioned that no one else was home, and then his eyes widened on me when the first thing I did was turn into him, planting the softest of kisses over his lips. I couldn’t help it. He looked too cute standing there, ranting about how he’d teach me how to use a telephone if I wasn’t aware of how easy it was to dial seven digits.

I could feel him glaring at my back when I headed over to his bed. It was made neatly, covered with his burgundy comforter. Only, his two pillows, clad in navy pillowcases were over the spread, rather than under it. Near them was a sketch pad, which is what I was going for. I ignored the colored pencils lying over the mattress as I climbed up and took the sketch pad into my lap, inspecting his latest work. I wasn’t in this one, but it still caused me to raise an eyebrow at him. To my surprise, he shrugged rather than taking on his defensive stance. As he moved to sit at the foot of the bed, I looked back down at the sketch. It wasn’t one I would have expected. My bedroom, in detail. He even remembered what order certain books had been in on the bookshelves. There was his jacket, which I still had in my car, hanging over my desk chair. The scarecrow portrait, looking blurred in this sketch. The only thing that was missing was most of my usual clutter. In fact, in the sketch my room looked tidy. Except for the bed. That was rumpled, sheets tangled, the pillow askew. It looked like someone had done more than slept in that bed. The night before, the real thing hadn’t succumbed to such disarray, but I got the point.

When I put the book aside, and looked up, Milo was still perched on the foot of his bed, watching me.

"So what are we going to do?" I asked pointedly. "You know I don’t mind chasing you, but it would be nice to know that you at least like it every once in a while."

"I don’t want anyone to find out," Milo responded, and I frowned.

"Yeah, I got that."

"And I don’t know what I’m doing... I like you."

"I got that, too," I replied, a small smile curling my lips. Milo looked away from me to stare at his closed bedroom door, and I took the moment to crawl over the bed and claim a seat next to him; and then, just to touch him, I fixed the tag sticking out of the back of his hooded shirt. He took in a breath as my fingers grazed his neck and my eyes went to his hand as it slid from his lap, and rested between our thighs. Despite my frustration with some of the things Milo did, I guess I had to admit that he did give me some signals, even if they were subtle ones. I slid my hand over his, and met his eyes when he finally looked at me. "Why’d you freak out last night?" I asked. "You just... left."

Milo shook his head. "It’s stupid."

"Probably," I remarked. "But I’m still asking the question."

Milo was silent for a moment, pursing his lips. "I didn’t know what to say to you," he finally said. "When you left for a minute, I just started thinking... that I didn’t know what to say to you. When I got to your house, everything happened kinda fast.... I didn’t know what to say. I mean, we were supposed to say something, right? And then I started thinking, you know... what if we don’t say anything. And then I started thinking about how weird that would be. And, I feel like I don’t even know you. And last night... I’ve never done anything like that before."

"You think I have?" I remarked.

Milo looked at me pointedly. "I mean, never. Beyond kissing I haven’t...." His brow went up, his expression searching for understanding.

"Never?" I repeated. "You dated all those girls. I mean... obviously, not the same, but..."

"Never," Milo repeated.

"Oh." Well, that blew my theory about Milo being an evasive slut out the window. Now he was an evasive virgin. Which, in all honesty, surprised me. I’d dated girls, too, and while I’d never actually felt the spark with them that I felt with Milo, it wasn’t as if curiosity had never got the better of me. Or, alcohol for that matter. Like, with Teresa Milldrum. It was a little hard to believe that someone like Milo, who could likely have whoever he wanted, was untouched. Well, not exactly anymore, but still. "Was it okay?" I found myself asking. I was suddenly experiencing pressure that I hadn’t felt last night. "I mean, did you like it?"

Milo’s eyes widened slightly, and I had a feeling that once again he thought I was being too forward. "It was quick," he finally responded, once again looking rather embarrassed. But, that was probably because he was the one who was quick.

I smiled in response. "I kinda thought that was hot."

I watched the corners of Milo’s mouth curl up ever so slightly as he looked away from me, and then to my surprise, he laughed. "You have no idea..."

"What?" I asked, grinning at him as I tightened my hand over his, drawing his attention back to me.

"I thought you would have expected... more."

"Me?"

He nodded. "You talk... you act like you do this kind of thing all the time."

"I told you that you were the only gay guy I’ve ever met," I replied, confused.

"Yeah, but that doesn’t matter. It’s like nothing bothers you--you’re kinda intimidating. I don’t always know... how to be around you."

"Yeah, well I don’t always know if you want to be around me," I replied. "There’s a lot of mixed signals there, Milo. I don’t know what to think. I like you, too. But... what would you even say to me if I asked you out? Or if I said that I wanted to do something with you, go somewhere... or just pick a specific time and place to see you."

"I don’t know," he replied quietly, after several moments of consideration.

"Are you really that worried about someone figuring us out if we start spending time together?"

"I can’t be out, Nelson."

"What if I promised that you wouldn’t be?" I asked. "Not if we’re careful."

"You can’t make promises like that," he said, shaking his head.

"Then what if I showed you? I mean, that it’s not the big deal you think it is where everyone else is concerned."

"How?" he asked, looking suspicious.

"The football team’s throwing a spirit rally tomorrow night. Come with me."

He laughed. "You want me to go to a school function with you?"

"Yeah."

Milo shook his head. "A spirit rally?"

I smirked. "Yeah, and maybe afterwards, you can show me how much spirit you have," I teased, and Milo’s eyes widened right before he elbowed me, likely trying to distract me from the blush creeping over his face. "Just don’t disappear this time," I added.

His smile faded at that, and he studied me for a long moment.

"Thanks for letting me stay last night," he finally said, and if I didn’t know any better, I’d say that his voice seemed a little shaky. "I did... I did like it."

Why that was so difficult for him to say, I couldn’t understand. But, I certainly did appreciate hearing it. He even gave me a shy smile when I reached out and brushed away a strand of his hair that felt light and soft against my fingertips. He met my eyes and I watched as his clouded over while he licked at his lips. He started to lean forward, but caught himself, seeming uncertain as he looked at me. I caught his chin with my index finger gently, and guided him forward until his eyes closed and his mouth came into soft contact with mine. I parted my lips, and he mimicked the gesture. Our tongues briefly made contact before he pulled away, his mouth drawing into a kiss against my thumb when I traced his lips with it and rested my forehead gently against his. I smiled at the way he was meeting my eyes easier now, unwavering, the way he had the first time I’d ever seen his face.

"Come to the spirit rally," I said quietly, well aware that he hadn’t given me an answer yet. Milo sighed and his breath hit my face. He looked tired as he briefly closed his eyes, and when he opened them, I had emeralds focused on me.

"I’ll think about it."

I could live with that. For now. I smiled, and told him so. I wished that he would have given me an answer before I left, though.

I didn’t stay long after that. A few shared, light kisses later I’d asked Milo if he’d worked things out with his dad. Unfortunately, it reminded him that he was supposed to talk to his dad when Mr. Trust got home, which would be soon. Apparently, that was one of the reasons why Milo had been so adamant about wanting me to call. I think it made him feel better, though, when I left before Mr. Trust even showed up.

.....................................

On Tuesday, I’d been eager to get to school just to see if Milo had left anymore surprises in my locker. Like, perhaps a quick note saying that he was willing to meet me tonight. No note. No nothing. But, I took a moment to slip one into Milo’s locker. It explained that I shared a locker with Haily, and why, although I did avoid the term Assface. I almost regretted leaving that with him when I didn’t get a return letter all day. But, it didn’t really surprise me. I didn’t see him until parenting class. I was pleased to find that he was smiling at me a lot more. Even more than he had on the days when we joked around. He was in a good mood, with his pencil constantly scratching at his notebook. I wondered how he stayed so focused all the time. At least, I wondered that until the end of class when he handed me the piece of notebook paper he’d been scratching on, and I looked down at a quick sketch of myself, leaning back in my seat and yawning with my hair sticking up in places, like I’d just gotten out of bed. He’d laughed at me when I very carefully slid it into a text book so it wouldn’t get damaged before I put it in my backpack.

When I asked him about the spirit rally again, he said he was still thinking about it. I thought it was a little late to still be thinking about it, considering that the rally was only hours away. When I tried to explain this to him, he surprised me by asking for my phone number, instead of giving me an actual answer. And of course, he didn’t tell me if he was going to use that number to give me an answer later. I didn’t like it, but I refused to sulk about it.

Besides, after school when I mentioned to my friends that I was going, Haily and Caleb were ready to go too. Between the three of us we convinced Joe, who said he’d go with us, but absolutely refused to have any school spirit. Haily was right about him. He was getting cranky. I hoped that it was the fact that he was tiring himself out between community service and school that had him so down, and not something else. As it was, he was much more snappish than usual, even towards us. I didn’t think on it very much, though, or let it bother me. I was already bothered enough by the fact that I couldn’t tell my friends that Milo Trust would be coming with us, even knowing what their reactions would have been.

.................................................

I was all for social gatherings. Loved them, actually. As long as I could talk to, or be around people, I didn’t get bored. Even around a bunch of cheerleaders, and especially around a boisterous football team. I liked the noise. I liked the screaming. I liked making small talk with the people I knew, and the people who I didn’t. But what I hated, was our school colors. Purple and orange just didn’t bode well for my complexion, and I refused to dress up in them, even for a spirit rally. Since this thing was supposed to be outdoors, in the cold, I stuck to a thick black sweatshirt and jeans instead. I topped it off with my blue beanie and a worn jeans jacket that used to be my dad’s. By the time I was ready to leave the house my mom was teasing me about how I made a cute dockworker.

The rally didn’t start until six thirty, and all I knew was that it was taking place behind the football field. We probably wouldn’t miss much if we got there late, so my friends and I had decided to go out to dinner first, when Rebecca mentioned to Caleb that a lot of people were getting together for pizza, including most of the cheerleaders. The sun had all but disappeared, leaving behind a magenta sky. Our field and the trees in it looked like nothing more than dark shadows as I looked out the large window in the kitchen and waited for Caleb. I could hear my parents in the living room. They were watching a movie. It must have been good, because they both broke out into fits of laughter every few moments, and I could hear the parrot chattering from the family room, mimicking their laughter, and every once in a while, the telephone. I hated when the bird did that, especially when I was hoping that the real phone would actually ring. He sounded just like the damn thing. That’s why I was holding the cordless in my hand, just in case.

I was waiting for Milo. At least, I hoped that I was waiting for Milo. I wanted him to call me. I wanted him to call and tell me that he wasn’t going to the rally. At least that way, I wasn’t left wondering. I was well aware that I could just call him, but I refused to do it. I needed to hear from him. Hear anything from him. He liked me, I knew that. Maybe I was just being unreasonable about it, but knowing wasn’t enough. I guess I wanted him to do something to show me. I wanted him to show me that he wanted to get to know me, more than just behind closed doors. I was so eager for him to call, that I actually answered the phone when the doorbell rang.

"Nelson?" My mom called, and I sighed before I headed through the house.

"I’ll get it," I called. "It’s just Caleb." He was driving because there was no sense in taking two cars, and everyone was pretty much on the way, when coming from his house. I stopped in the living room to kiss my mom goodbye and let her adjust my beanie. Dad let me get away with a simple wave and a promise not to stay out too late because it was a school night.

I went outside to head to Caleb’s jeep. It was just above freezing, dark, and a little windy. Caleb would have had Haily come to the door, but she wouldn’t have waited there. That’s why I didn’t expect to run directly into a body. Or, almost run into a body, as strong, firm hands reached to grab my arms, just as I realized there weren’t any headlights in my driveway.

Milo released me as soon as I met his eyes, looking just as startled as I did. He was the first to smile. It was probably at the look on my face. I hadn’t expected him, not even after all of that waiting for him to call.

"You’re here," I managed to get out.

"I was going to call, but figured I’d get even--were you leaving already?"

"Um...yeah," I admitted. "I mean, I guess not yet. I sorta thought you were Caleb."

"Caleb?" Milo repeated, suddenly frowning. I guess I should have expected that. "You didn’t mention Caleb."

"That’s because I wasn’t going to ride with him until I figured you weren’t coming," I responded dryly.

Milo shook his head. "This wasn’t a good idea."

I groaned when Milo turned and headed towards his car. "Milo, wait!" I reached him, just as he opened his door, and we both froze as headlights hit us in the dark. The next thing I knew, Milo and I were standing next to Caleb’s jeep; the passenger window was down, and Joe was staring out it with a very cockeyed expression on his face; and I imagined that if I could see Caleb or Haily, they’d look the same way.

"Nels?" Joe inquired, meeting my eyes.

I stepped up to the window and looked in. Caleb was frowning past me, probably perplexed since it was his second time catching Milo at my place; and Haily was in the back, not looking at me at all. She was staring at Milo through the window, and there was silence. I smiled, despite the discomfort.

"Hey, guys. Milo’s coming with us. I’m gonna ride with him... We’ll follow you, okay, Caleb?" This was met with more silence. I kept smiling and crossed my arms, pretending to shiver. "Brr it’s cold tonight. Anyone need an extra jacket out of the house?"

All three of my fiends shook their heads at me, still speechless.

"Okay," I responded to the silence. "Lead the way out, Caleb."

When I turned, it was Milo who was staring at me, scowling. There wasn’t really a surprise there. I walked around his car, opened the passenger door on my own, and sank down into a surprisingly comfortable dark green front seat. It was soft, worn just enough to adjust to my body. As I closed the door, I noted that there was an odor, too. A pleasant one. Soft, but masculine. And unlike my vehicle, his didn’t need to be vacuumed. I quickly felt relaxed in it, but that didn’t last very long as Milo took his seat and slammed his door.

"What are you doing?" he demanded. "Your friends think you’re crazy!"

"Huh. You’d better follow Caleb before you lose him. He’s not going to the school. We’re meeting at a restaurant first."

Milo looked about ready to spit nails. "Nelson..."

"Hey," I cut him off calmly. "Everything’s fine. I’m not going to act like there’s something wrong with me hanging out with you, because there’s not. And if I start acting like it, they’ll start thinking it."

"They’re already thinking it."

"Well, they’re gonna change their minds," I insisted.

Milo shook his head, but started his car to follow Caleb. "I’ll drop you off ... but then I’m going home."

I closed my eyes as I rested my head back against his comfortable seat, taking in the pleasant scent surrounding me as the sound of the gravel beneath the tires tickled my ears, and I grinned. "You’re gonna change your mind, too."

I’m sure he was glaring at me for that one. But, it didn’t make me any less right.

It was a little out of the way, meaning past the school, but Ozario’s Eatery was not only a great place to gather in large groups, it was a great place to eat, too. This is what I explained to Milo as I coaxed him out of his car. He was reluctant to go in, but in the end, he was through the glass door and in Ozario’s warm atmosphere with me. At the entrance there were two large aquariums holding colorful saltwater fish, and a wide set of stairs led down to the massive dining room. With pergo floors, dark, matching booths and long tables, the place had a clean, soothing environment. Mini-chandeliers hung from the rectangular building’s ceiling, leaving the light dim; and the aroma flooding my nostrils, as always, was mouthwatering. Ozario’s served many things, but they were popular for their specialty pizzas. During dinner hours their buffet was open and it was the perfect place to go with an appetite. Tonight, orange and purple flags were hanging from most of the tables, and the place was full of my classmates. It seemed that we weren’t the only ones planning to be late to the rally, since it appeared that the football team was there, too, along with Coach Don.

Caleb, Joe and Haily had arrived just ahead of us, but already I’d lost sight of them. I had a feeling that it didn’t matter. I was pretty sure that at least one of them had an eye on me. They usually did. I just hoped they’d calmed each other down enough over Milo Trust. I’m sure their ride over was filled with Haily talking about how I sat next to Milo in parenting class, and Caleb’s tale of how he’d caught him coming to my house. If I knew my friends, they’d at least calm down long enough to ask me questions before they made any final judgments about my choice in friends. At least, I hoped they would. I doubted that Milo needed the stress. As it was, he looked rather pale as he looked over the room. He hardly noticed it when I stepped up to the petite blonde woman behind the register and purchased a meal ticket for each of us. He frowned at me when I handed him a glass for his soda.

"You can’t be that nervous," I remarked.

"Your friends hate me and I don’t know anyone here."

I looked over the room skeptically, and as if on cue a redhead in an orange and purple cheerleaders’ outfit, who I recognized as one of Teresa Milldrum’s friends, waved at us from halfway across the room. "Milo!"

I looked at him triumphantly. "See, your fan club’s here," I said, and he scowled at me. I was starting to think of that face as his brooding-artist look. "Do you wanna sit with them?" I asked.

Milo shrugged indifferently, but made no objection when I led the way down the stairs and the two of us took a seat at the redhead’s long table where she and several of her friends, a few more cheerleaders and couple other girls I knew from school, made room for us. It took me all of two minutes to figure out that despite Milo’s insistence that he didn’t know anyone, he sure seemed friendly with a lot of girls from our school. He even let two of them drag him off to fill his plate. I was happy to see that he had the ability to feel somewhat comfortable there. I was also a little annoyed to feel a small amount of jealously, which was not at all like me. But then, I’d never really had anyone to be jealous over before.

It was Teresa Milldrum with her curly blonde hair, wearing a denim skirt, cut even shorter than the ones that the cheerleaders wore, who snatched me from the table and toured the buffet with me. She was more than happy to point out all of the carbs that my barbequed-chicken pizza had in it, and made faces as she sat next to me at the table while she watched me down it. Milo was on the other side, fending off a few girls when they had the nerve to ask him which school had prettier girls, ours, or Stratfort. As I listened to him, I think I was surprised more than anything at how charming he could be. He was holding out chairs and offering to refill drinks. Maybe I shouldn’t have been that shocked, but it was definitely a side of him I’d never seen, and the fact that these girls were the ones bringing it out of him only served to increase any jealousy I was feeling. But I shoved it down because Milo wasn’t only being polite to them, he was also smiling at me again, talking to me like two friends would, and he seemed comfortable about it. At least, until my friends found us.

We’d been there for fifteen minutes when Caleb, Joe and Haily found us. I’d expected that to happen sooner or later, which is why I hadn’t gone looking for them. Joe and Caleb liked the table I’d chosen a lot more than Haily did, but from across the table, all three of them kept looking between Milo and me, obviously wanting to say something. At least they had the decency not to. I think they were trying to ignore Milo, as much as Milo was trying to ignore them. For my part, I acted like Milo sitting at our table was an everyday occurrence, and as usual, talked to everyone. I thought it was very clever of me, when I mentioned to Caleb that Milo knew a lot of girls from Stratfort. Milo had glared at me for it at the time, but when Caleb started seeing him as an opened doorway to a whole new dating territory, and Milo offered to introduce him to a few girls, the two of them seemed to warm to each other, if only a little. It only lasted until Rebecca showed up at our table and slapped Caleb in the back of the head, though. He had to go after her to make sure that he still had his date for homecoming. I was smiling when Joe picked right up where Caleb left off, wanting to know about the Stratford girls. Of course, all of this talk about girls ended up making the ones already surrounding us jealous. Teresa Milldrum couldn’t figure out if she wanted to cling to me, or Milo. I cursed Joe when he gave a pen to one of the cheerleaders, because he wasn’t the only one who ended up with phone numbers written all the way up his arm. Haily pretty much sat across the table, scowling at us.

After dinner, when we headed to the school, I was not at all happy when Milo and I were abruptly separated. Teresa Milldrum and a few other girls invited themselves into his car, packing it full of shaved legs and perfume. This left Haily to drag me to Caleb’s jeep as I worried over being able to find Milo in the crowds when we actually got to the rally. It seemed I had other things to worry about first, though.

"That guy’s a putz," Joe remarked from the back seat of Caleb’s jeep, where he was sitting with Haily.

"Who?" I asked, frowning. I already didn’t like where this was going.

"Oh, come on, Nels," Joe said, as if it were obvious. I guess it was.

"Yeah. Okay," I responded dryly. "Fuck you."

"Hey, I’m saying..."

"He’s a pretty cool guy, Joe," I cut him off. "Don’t even start talking shit unless you know what the fuck you’re talking about."

"Dude," Caleb cut in, reaching over to tap my shoulder. "Hey, it’s okay, Nels. Let’s just drop this, guys."

I gritted my teeth, and stared out my window, fuming. It was never a good sign when Caleb became the voice of reason. But, I found it best to listen to him as we all went silent. It was a better idea than to try reasoning with Joe, especially since it was pointless to try to reason with a complete jackass.

"It’s just..." Haily’s voice spoke up timidly. "We don’t get why we’re hanging out with him."

"No shit," Joe muttered.

"Because he’s my friend," I snapped.

"We’re your friends," Caleb said quietly, focusing on the road.

"Well so is he," I stated.

"That’s fucking stupid," Joe remarked, and I turned to glare at him. He was leaning back in his seat with an almost bored expression on his face. At one time, I might have found it sexy. Now, I wanted to beat it off of him.

"You know, what the fuck has he ever done to you, Joe?" I demanded.

Joe snorted. "Are you kidding? All that shit last summer..."

"Oh, fuck that!" I cut him off. "It was more our fault than theirs."

Joe rolled his eyes. "If you’re talking about those pictures again..."

"They were paintings, Joe! Really good fucking paintings, and you ruined them! Shit..." I took in a breath, trying to calm myself. "Dude, think of it this way. What if someone fucked with your Mustang?" That got his attention, and he sat up in his seat, glaring at me like I was an asshole even for suggesting it. "It’s the same thing with Milo’s paintings."

"That is not the same thing," Joe objected.

"Well... maybe it is to him," Haily said quietly, and I smiled at her.

"Thank you, Haily."

She flashed me a small smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes, and I turned back around.

"Look," I said. "It’s not like we’re hanging out with Jame Graham. I’m telling you, Milo’s cool. It’s not gonna kill anyone to give him chance before you decide you hate him."

"We didn’t say we hated him," Haily insisted. "We just... never mind."

"Hey," Caleb said, glancing over at me. "If he’s cool with you... it’s fine, okay?"

I gave a slight nod as I removed my beanie from my jacket pocket and pulled it back on my head, but I felt skeptical. I didn’t necessarily see my friends ever wanting Milo Trust hanging around. I was beginning to realize just how much I cared about what my friends thought, and in my whole life, I’d never wanted to be more wrong.

.................................................

The outdoor lights lit the school, guiding our way past the football field. I hadn’t understood why the rally wasn’t being held indoors because of the weather until we reached the small crowd and realized that the school had put together a bonfire. Faces glowed in the dark as the flames lit the sky, and the subtle breeze kept most of the smoke off of us. It was more of a bother seeing my breath in front of my face as I buttoned up my jacket against the cold.

Milo found me easily. Teresa Milldrum was with him, practically attached to his arm. I frowned at this, but decided against calling her a slut and ordering her off my Milo. She looked miserable enough already in her short skirt. Her teeth were chattering, just like the cheerleaders, who were already going through their routines, trying to keep warm as they cheered on the Heywell Otters. Yes, Otters. My theory was that the same moron who came up with our school colors came up with the name of our football team, too.

It didn’t take long to notice that the crowd at the bonfire wasn’t going to get as big as the crowd at Ozario’s, even with the school staff and some of the parents there. It was simply too cold. Hot chocolate was being sold for twenty-five cents a cup, and I smiled when Milo brought me one. It meant nothing that he got one for Teresa, too. Or Haily, who was as attached to my arm as much as Teresa was to his. Joe had disappeared as soon as he’d seen Kelly there, and I was pretty sure that Caleb and Rebecca were doing things in his jeep that would be reason enough never to ride in it again.

For the next hour, things moved quickly as Coach Don introduced each member of the team and they came running off the field one by one, loud and sweaty in their purple uniforms, carrying their helmets and acting like the cold didn’t bother them at all. Coach Don gave a speech, getting everyone riled up for the season, and his speech was followed by one from our tall, freckled, auburn-haired quarterback, Derek Oton. He looked boyish and adorable on the outside, but Derek had always had a wild streak, and when he mooned the crowd at the end of his speech, revealing Go Otters in black ink written across his ass, everyone became even more riled. If it wasn’t for the cold and the girls the event could have been considered a hot, loud male-bonding experience. I thought Milo was going to have puppies when I took advantage of the testosterone-induced atmosphere and slapped Brandon Sholer’s ass, right before I slapped his. Haily probably though I was playing a game because my left cheek stung after she got to it.

If I’d been worrying about my friends accepting Milo on the way to the school, I started feeling better as the rally came to an end and noticed Haily was talking to Milo. He said something to make her smile, and a little later she explained that he’d offered to trade lockers with her, since he obviously didn’t mind being near Assface and Milo’s current locker was in a completely different hall. I told him that was a terrible idea, because I didn’t know where his new locker was going to be, and he’d given me a deep throaty laugh that was contagious, and then told me that the only reason he’d done it was to get Haily away from my locker. What mattered to me in the end was that Haily decided that Milo wasn’t too bad, and when Joe and Caleb finally caught up to us again, they didn’t do anything to make it seem like they didn’t want him around. I think by the end of the night, Milo had actually managed to have some fun.

Everyone was about frozen solid by the time the rally started to clear out. I asked Milo if he wanted to come over for a while, and wasn’t exactly happy when he said he needed to go home. But when he said that he’d do something like this again with me, I forgave anything else.

Caleb drove Haily, Joe, and me home, and like so many other juveniles on the hill that night, we were screaming out our windows and doing anything possible to cause a ruckus. But I’m pretty sure that we were the only ones yelling about how Caleb’s jeep smelled like sex as I dropped my pants and pressed my ass against the cold window every time we passed one of our teachers