Will I or Won't I ... napowrimo 2018 - 1. First Week

April 1, 2018

Never known anyone like you

Someone who listens, and cares

You are a teacher and poet

—A beloved friend

April 2, 2018

It's not melancholy

But lack of medication that's lets my thoughts slide

And we go to dark places no one should go

I'm not afraid of dying, I'm afraid of being gone

But my mother and father are gone … yet

They are still with me, whether it be good or not so good

But once I am no longer, they will not be either

For who will remember them?

I wonder why, why, why, it matters so.

For it is life

We trudge on, walking on bones, no matter how

Deeply we bury them.

April 3, 2018

Spring has been grumpy this year

Or maybe she's a jokester

Holding close her winter cloak

So I want to stay wrapped in mine

Every now and then, there is

A glimmer of the warmth to come

Soon the Sun will win the day

And life will burst forth, unstoppable

April 4, 2018

I see the little feathered corpse

Its tiny body still

We walk around it,

… Never mind

It's just a little bird

So jaded, we discard the thought

That this little life was lost

April 5, 2018

You whisper softly, baby try to sleep

When I'm restless and cannot settle

I know you're tired, so I try

Laying in silence while black crows

Pick my brain

They rattle me

With dark visions

And I see you alone too soon

In a future

In a world

That does not seem to miss me

Your arms grow tighter

Reassuring me of your love

I rest, warm against your skin

April 6, 2018

Ghosts

Five long years ago to this very day
your life was suddenly swept away
so quick it was; no time to prepare
now your bones are lost to decay.

Solitary, lonely, a life you could not share
Family and friends thought you didn't care
Feelings though you buried deep
you could never love; you didn't dare.

Death released you, while we weep
the devil, your soul, he thought to reap
but that you'd given up long ago
the cost to keep it was too steep.

Now you're free, your soul can echo
on waves you travel, lost in limbo
me, I loved you from dark corners.
No more do I want this shiny halo.

Your stone, you, to me, it anchors
I want to repel all comers
Here I will take my life unaided
and onto your grave I lay flowers.

Soon I know I am ended
following you finally, into death undaunted
if there be a God, I will find you
for eternity; no longer will we be cheated.

April 7, 2018

It was snowing yesterday

Slothful, fat flakes drifting down

Undisturbed by wind

They were delicate and delightful

Powdering pine branches

Leaving a dusting for the grass

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