Nemesis: Loud Like Love - 2. Chapter Two: Brick Shithouse

CHAPTER TWO

Brick Shithouse

Dave closed the lid on the box with some finality. ‘There. Wish I could help you move these in, too.’

Mellie smiled. ‘Don’t worry about it, I’ll be fine. And you need to get home and prepare for the start of the academic year, too.’

‘So not fair.’ Dave shook his head and grinned. ‘We should be doing this at the same time. You’re just a month older than me!’

They had celebrated Mellie’s eighteenth birthday with pomp and circumstance. Or, as close to pomp and circumstance as you could get with a guest list of twelve. Mellie’s circle of friends was not the most numerous, but they were all good people, and fiercely loyal. She had really blossomed her final year in college, and she looked and acted more confident than she ever had before. Dave was proud of her.

Mellie grinned. ‘Yeah, well you’ll just have to finish your A-levels first, mister.’ She closed the lid of the final box and admired their handiwork. ‘So, where are you going to apply to for uni, you think?’

‘Anywhere I can study medicine,’ said Dave with a shrug. ‘I’ll probably apply for here, too.’

‘Ooh, I hope you end up here! Maybe we could get a flat share together and not have to live in halls . . .’

Dave laughed. ‘I’m sure it’s not so bad. At least you have a single room. Looking forward to fresher’s week?’

His cousin made a face. ‘Being made to get wankered with a bunch of strangers? I can think of a lot better things to do with my time. But, I suppose I must.’

‘Well, be careful. Lots of guys out there might be looking to take advantage of someone as beautiful as you.’ Dave kissed her cheek. She giggled.

‘I don’t think I’ll be first on anyone’s mind.’

‘Stop selling yourself short, Mels. You’re gorgeous. Believe me.’

Mellie laughed out loud. ‘No, I’m not. But, thanks for saying it.’ She smiled and hugged him. Then they were quiet for a minute, and Mellie sat down on her bed. ‘Hey . . . You haven’t said and I haven’t asked, but . . . Have you seen Nick at all? Since . . . since then?’

Dave sighed and shook his head. ‘No. I haven’t. I mean, I’ve caught a glimpse of him in passing in town. It’s a small town. But I’ve been away from home for most of the summer, so . . .’

His parents had taken him to Tuscany. His father would rather have left him at home, but after the break-up, his mother had convinced him to take Dave with them. She had changed a lot in the past few months. And when Dave had told her about the break-up, she had hugged him, and told him it was going to be all right. It was strange, but not unwelcome. His father had, of course, gloated at the news. Dave hadn’t told either of them why it had happened, of course.

‘I guess bumping into him will be inevitable once you’re back home, eh?’

‘Probably.’ Dave rubbed his eyes. ‘Alan told me he’s got a job at Tesco now.’

‘Summer job?’

‘No.’ He sighed. ‘Apparently, he’s not finishing his A-levels.’

Mellie frowned. ‘What? Why?’

Dave shrugged. ‘I dunno. Alan didn’t say. But I guess with the music, going to uni or whatever might not be so important to him. Hey, can we talk about something else?’

‘Yeah, of course! I’m sorry I brought it up.’

‘No worries.’ Dave sat down next to her, and they said nothing for a while. Then Dave said, ‘I worry about him.’

‘Yeah, me too.’ Mellie took his hand and squeezed it. ‘I miss him.’

‘Yeah, me too.’

* * *

Windfield Green was calm and quiet when Dave came home by bus on Saturday night. It had been a fairly long journey, with train from Manchester to Birmingham, one bus to Sapswell, and then another home. The evening was cool and bright, and Dave walked home, suitcase trailing behind him. The walk would have taken him close to Nick’s house, so he took a detour. It wasn’t even so much for his own sake that he avoided him, as for Nick’s. He knew, somehow, that this was worse for his ex than it was for him. He knew, because he knew Nick.

‘I’m home,’ he called when he walked into the house.

His mother stepped out of the living room. ‘Welcome back. How was Manchester? How is Clive?’

‘Not bad. Whole family’s all right. Mellie’s moving into halls tomorrow.’ Dave took off his jacket and shoes.

‘Is she excited about university?’ Dave’s mother smiled. It was almost strange to see her smile genuinely, but she had been doing it a lot since they grew closer. It felt good, knowing that she was on his team.

‘Excited, nervous, downright scared shi—er, very scared.’

His mother laughed. ‘You can say “shit” in front of me, sweetheart. We’re both adults. Well, soon, anyway.’

Dave frowned. ‘Who are you and what have you done with my mum?’

They walked into the living room and sat down.

‘Where’s Dad?’

‘At work. He’s . . . been working a lot lately.’

Dave cocked an eyebrow. ‘He always works a lot.’

‘More than usual.’

‘Oh.’

They were silent for a while.

‘Are you okay?’ Dave asked.

She smiled at him. ‘Of course I am. I’ve just been thinking . . . Maybe I should start working again. There’s a position for a nurse opening up at the surgery. Olivia Weir is retiring. I’m out of practice, but she says she’d train me before she leaves.’

Dave grinned. ‘I think that’s a great idea, Mum.’

‘No guarantee I’d even get it. They may want someone younger.’

‘Mum, you’re forty-five. You’ve got a good twenty years left in you. Besides, they’ll love the new you.’

‘The old me, you mean.’ She sighed, running a hand through her long, blonde hair. ‘Don’t know where it all went wrong, David. When did I get like that?’

‘When you married Dad, probably.’

She laughed, and then gave him a halfway disapproving look. ‘He’s your father. I know you don’t get along, but . . . He’s not a bad person. Not really. If he were, I wouldn’t have married him, you know.’

Dave sighed and smiled at her. ‘I know. I just . . . Remember how he would chastise you for hugging me and playing with me when I was little?’

She looked surprised. ‘I didn’t think you’d even remember that.’

‘I remember a lot of things.’ Dave paused, looking at his hands. ‘What was he like? I mean, before. When you married.’

‘He was very charming.’ His mother smiled. ‘He had just been made partner at his law firm. I was twenty-three. I was attracted to his confidence and his strong personality, as I think he was attracted to mine. I fell in love quickly back then. We married a year later, and a year after that, you came along. That’s when I quit my job, as a nurse at A&E in Sapswell. He didn’t want any more children after that. I think it was around that time, when you were a toddler, that he really changed. Became more distant, from you and me both. And I . . . adapted. Followed his lead. I thought we could make you strong that way. Or, he thought so. And it seemed like it was working, so it just went on.’ She met her son’s eye and smiled, sadly. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘Don’t be sorry,’ said Dave. ‘It is what it is, and things are better now, anyway.’

‘Anyway,’ she continued, ‘things were still okay between us, for a while. Until you were about eight or nine, maybe, and then it was like he just lost interest.’

‘Did you stay because of me?’ asked Dave.

She shook her head. ‘No. I mean, in part, probably, but also I didn’t really know where to go if I ended it. I was comfortable, and he wasn’t cruel. I had a decent life. My parents had died, Clive was in America . . . It made sense to keep things like they were. And you seemed happy enough.’

‘Do you want to leave him now?’

She hesitated. ‘No. I don’t know. But, I want a backup plan. I want something to fall back on, in case . . . I mean, when you leave for university, maybe he won’t want me around anymore.’

It was strange, her being so open and honest with him, though they had talked much over the summer. She knew him better, now, knew more about his life, his friends, the people he cared about. She even knew a bit about his relationship with Nick, how it had begun. He supposed it was time for her to do the same, to let him get to know her properly, as a person as well as his mother.

He took her hand and kissed her on the cheek. ‘Thanks for telling me this stuff.’

‘It’s good to talk about, really. I haven’t . . . I mean, I have a couple of close friends I’ve been able to confide in over the years, and there’s Clive, but I feel like you need to know these things. You deserve to know. You’re nearly eighteen. And you’re very mature. I’ve noticed that. I suppose we forced you to grow up a bit too quickly.’

Dave shrugged. ‘Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe I would have turned out this way, anyway. I actually . . . I owe a lot of this to Nick. He taught me a thing or two about empathy.’

‘From what you’ve told me, he seems like a good person.’

‘He is. He was, anyway. No, he still is. He just . . . made mistakes.’ Dave sighed. ‘Maybe one day . . .’

His mother tucked a stray strand of his hair behind his ear. ‘Whatever happens next, I support you. I promise.’

* * *

Sunday, Dave was invited to hang out with Matt and Alan at Matt’s house, a final break before they were due back at college the following day. There was a light drizzle coming down, but it was warm, and Dave didn’t mind a little rain.

They ordered pizza and played video games. Matt’s parents had gone away on a couple’s retreat for a few days. Dave found it sweet how into each other Matt’s parents were, after all these years. According to Matt, they loved spending time together, just the two of them, and were frequently almost embarrassingly lovey-dovey. After his conversation with his mum, Dave wondered what their lives might have been like if his parents were more like Matt’s.

‘So, how was your summer, Dave?’ asked Matt, shooting a zombie in the face. ‘You went to France, right?’

‘Italy. Tuscany. It was all right. I mean, three weeks in my father’s company isn’t strictly a holiday, but he was working a lot from his laptop, anyway. Mum and I did a lot of talking. It’s . . . nice. Weird, though. Last night we talked a lot about my dad, their relationship, how it’s all changed . . . Is it weird for your parent to tell you about how dysfunctional her marriage is?’

Alan laughed. ‘Pretty weird, yeah.’

‘I don’t think it’s weird at all,’ said Matt, shrugging. ‘I mean, my parents are really honest with me about everything. They’ve had fights, and one of them always tells me what’s going on, what the fight was about in rough strokes. You know, they share their lives with me. And I’ve shared my life with them. I mean, maybe not losing my virginity at fourteen, or, you know, smoking weed. Though I think they know about that last part. Pretty sure they did it too when they were my age. And when I’ve come home drunk, well, they’ve laughed at me, but not punished me. I came out to them as bi when I was fifteen.’

Dave shook his head in awe. ‘You guys have such a healthy, well adjusted family relationship, it’s a wonder you turned out as fucked up as you did.’

‘Hey!’ Matt threw a pillow at him, laughing, and Dave was hideously mauled by a zombie, and immediately died. He stood up.

‘I’m gonna get a drink. You guys want anything?’

‘Yeah, cheers, I’ll have a Kilkenny,’ said Matt. Alan shook his head, shaking his can a bit to show that he still had plenty left.

Dave went into the kitchen, getting a cider and the requested beer out of the fridge. When he returned, the game was on pause, and Matt and Alan were snogging on the sofa.

‘Hey,’ said Dave, bumping the beer can into Matt’s shoulder. ‘Save it for later, yeah?’

‘Sorry,’ said Alan, face slightly flushed, though he was smiling.

Matt just grinned. ‘Enough gaming. You guys wanna watch a movie?’

‘Sure,’ said Alan. ‘Make it something mindless and action filled. My attention span’s a little short right now.’

Dave rolled his eyes. ‘You guys are gonna end up making out for the entire thing, aren’t you?’

‘Don’t worry,’ said Matt, ‘we’ll go to my room for the fucking.’

Alan blushed profusely and punched him lightly in the shoulder. ‘Stop teasing him, Matt!’ He turned to Dave. ‘Snogging in front of you would be really fucking awkward, so don’t worry.’

Dave laughed and sat down next to them. Matt got up and picked a blu-ray from the shelf. ‘Will X-Men do?’ The other two nodded, and Matt put the movie on.

There ended up being a little bit of snogging. Dave ignored it, but found himself wishing he had someone to kiss just then, and unbidden images of Nick entered his mind. He pushed them away.

When the film was over, Dave joined Matt outside for a fag while Alan tidied. Dave didn’t smoke, but the fresh air was nice.

He knew what he wanted to ask, but he didn’t know how. He wanted it to seem like he didn’t care so much, like he was over Nick and didn’t need to talk about him, but that was a huge lie, and in the end he said, ‘Have you talked to Nick at all over the summer? I heard from Alan he’s quit his A-levels.’

Matt nodded. ‘Yeah. He failed all his exams except the music ones, so . . .’

‘You guys rehearse any?’

‘At the beginning of summer, before I went to Greece, yeah. Nick and I talked a bit last week.’ He paused, glancing at Dave sideways. ‘He misses you, you know.’

Dave sighed. ‘Of course he does. But I can’t. You know that.’

‘I know.’ Matt took a drag off his fag and blew the smoke out as he spoke. ‘But maybe . . . Maybe you could try to be friends, you know?’

‘I think it’s too soon for that. I think it will hurt him more than just being like this. Don’t you?’

Matt conceded his point with a shrug. ‘Whatever you decide, I support both of you, okay? I’m glad . . .’ He turned his face towards Dave and caught his eye. ‘I’m just glad we’re still friends. I’m glad neither of you has asked me to choose.’

Dave shook his head. ‘I wouldn’t do that. Neither would he. Besides,’ he smiled wryly, ‘this way we can both get updates on each other. I know he asks you about me, too.’

‘Course he does. Though I don’t quite get why you want to know what he’s up to. I mean, doesn’t it just make everything more difficult?’

‘I . . . I worry about him,’ said Dave with a shrug, looking away. ‘It’s not like I just stopped caring. Whatever he’s done . . . I want to be his friend, in the end, but he’s not over me, and . . . I dunno.’ He reached for Matt’s cigarette, and Matt let him have it. Dave didn’t smoke, but a drag now and then had become a guilty pleasure. He handed it back. ‘Once he’s moved on, we can start thinking about being friends again.’

‘That might take a while,’ said Matt earnestly.

‘Is . . . Is he seeing—?’ Dave cut himself off. ‘No. I don’t want to know.’ He did, though, at the same time. ‘Better I don’t know.’

Matt put a hand on his shoulder. ‘You guys will be okay. As friends, or not. I know it.’ He put out his fag and stood up. ‘Come on, let’s go inside, before Alan gets jealous.’

‘I should probably get going soon,’ said Dave. ‘You know, college tomorrow.’

Matt nodded. ‘Yeah. I know. It’s gonna suck.’

Dave laughed. ‘It really will.’