Star Light, Star Bright - 3. Part 3

Part Three

Gary Spain was gay, and a lonely gay at that. He had resumed visiting with Jerry Creed in our row of lockers, and he was both civil and quite companionable at all times. I got so I liked him, at first a little, and then a lot. He had issues, but who doesn't? The main thing was that he tried to work around them, even if he didn't always make it without a stumble.

Benny and I started to invite him over after school. He came eagerly, his desire to spend more time with guys that thought like he did readily apparent. Gary turned out to have a lot more going on upstairs than I had ever imagined, some of which was pretty impressive, once you realized it was somewhat filtered through an immature view of the world. But the guy was thirteen, right? Maturity, like most things of perspective, is all relative.

"We need to find you a guy," I said one late winter day, as the three of us were hanging out in the park. The park was central to all our homes, it had turned out, and we often met there to plan our Saturdays.

"Good luck with that," Gary said, despondently.

"Why?" Benny said, grinning. "It's not like you aren't cute or anything."

Gary's mouth dropped open. "Me?"

I nodded. "Sure. Got a nice head on your dick, too."

Benny hooted and slapped his thigh, while Gary's face slowly reddened. He smiled, though, not in the least put off by my casual evaluation of his equipment.

I still had not been told how Benny knew that Gary strapped his boner up out of the way so that he could guy-watch without showing a lot of wood. I had decided that it wasn't important, as whatever had happened, it had occurred before I had met Benny. And I was a firm believer in not meddling in other people's histories.

Benny's cute smile faded to a frown. "There must to be some other gay guys looking for a nice boyfriend. The problem would seem to be how to locate them."

I smiled at that. Benny sometimes lapsed into speaking like I spoke when I lapsed from speaking like a kid. I still maintained my small disguise, but often let my guard down and spoke more formally around him. He got a kick out of it a first, and then I noticed an unconscious tendency on his part to emulate me. As his grades in English were also on the rise, I let it be. A habit that increases one's grade point average cannot be all bad!

"It's not like I ain't been looking," Gary said.

"What about Jerry?" I asked.

"I wish," Gary said. "But he's not gay."

I shook my head. "No. I mean, does he know you're gay?"

Gary nodded. "I never said so, but he knows."

"And he's okay with it?"

"Sure. Most people at school don't care about that stuff anymore."

Benny and I were reasonably certain that more than one person at school at least suspected that we were boyfriends. You just cannot hide that kind of affection from people. Yet no one had said anything, and life had continued on as usual. Times had changed.

I scratched my head. "You like to watch guys, Gary. Any suspects?"

He squinted. "You mean, do I think anyone else is gay?"

I nodded.

"Mark Devereaux," he said immediately. "Casey Washabaugh. Clint Culpepper."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Benny said, leaning quickly forward. "Clint Culpepper, the cowboy?"

Gary nodded. "Yeah."

"No way," Benny said, shaking his head. "The girls are all over him."

Gary looked at Benny like he was not too bright. "Yeah? Girls chase you and Griffin, both. Some of them even like me. That don't mean nothing."

Benny's mouth formed a little 'O' of surprise. "Really? Clint Culpepper?" Benny leaped to his feet and stuck his thumbs into his belt, and kicked at the frozen ground like he was kicking cow pies. "You mean Mr., 'Yup, my family had a spread near Billings'?"

Gary and I both laughed at Benny's spot-on impersonation. Clint had arrived at school mid-term, from the great American northwest. He wore boots and jeans and even a white Stetson, until a couple of guys had knocked it off his head one day on the football field at school and dared him to pick it up. Clint had not only dared, he had prevailed, knocking both aggressors to the ground and telling them if they got up, they'd 'sure as snake-spit' regret it. Neither boy had.

Unfortunately, the nice Stetson had been somewhat mauled in the melee, and an annoyed Clint had not worn it back to school again.

Clint was good with the girls, but had made a point of 'not bein' roped in' by one just yet. Both Benny and I had acknowledged that Clint was nice looking in an outdoorsy way, and had spoken to him on several occasions around school. He was in my math class along with Gary, and it was apparent to me that Clint and algebra were not friends. He struggled with the subject, and the teacher, Mrs. Myson, had been helping him on the side.

"Are you sure?" Benny asked, shaking his head. "I would have never expected Clint to be a guy-lover."

Gary bobbed his head up and down. "Yeah, I'm sure. My gaydar says so."

I laughed at that. "Your gaydar didn't tell you about Benny and me. Benny had to do that."

Gary sighed. "I can tell by the way he looks at me, okay?" He shook his head. "If either of you ever looked at me that way, I would have known about you, too."

I turned to Benny, who shrugged, then back to Gary. "Have you tried approaching him? Talking to him?"

"A couple of times," Gary replied. "He always just mumbles and says he has to go. If it wasn't for the way he looked at me sometimes, I'd think he didn't like me at all."

What? The times that Benny and I had spoken with the new boy, he had seemed totally at ease.

A light came on inside my head. Oh. Hmm. If it was true, and Clint was really gay, then he was either very scared of the fact, or just so painfully shy with guys he felt an interest in that he couldn't function with them.

On second thought, it was probably a combination of both. Billings, Montana was scarcely the center of the gay universe. A gay boy there would have to have all sorts of extra defenses in order to get along with the rugged crowd and the cowboy culture that lived there.

"Do you like Clint?" I asked Gary.

He smiled. "Are you kidding? He's so cute even my strap won't keep my dick from sticking out!"

Benny and I laughed at that a moment, until the sudden look of interest on Gary's face caught our attention.

"You have a plan?" Gary asked.

I smiled. "You're not half bad at algebra. Why don't you offer to help him with it? He probably would like an excuse to be around you, if he really likes you."

Gary blinked. "Now...why didn't I think of that!"

"'Cause you aren't the finest mind ever to grace the halls of Anson MacDonald Middle School, that's why!" Benny said, reaching out and squeezing my shoulder.

I felt my face get warm, and would have loved to call Benny on that remark, but couldn't manage to work up the angst needed to do it. His gaze was too fond, too well-meaning, for me to take the remark as anything but heartfelt. So I did the next best thing.

"Oh, shut up," I said softly.

Benny and Gary both grinned.

We started to leave the park, the plan settled upon, and were nearly to the street when Benny suddenly stopped and turned to Gary. "Mark Devereaux?"

Gary and I just laughed.

Monday arrived, and the plan was set into motion. Math class was second period, and Gary and I met outside the doorway and compared last minute notes. I would be handy to help get the conversation going if Gary couldn't do it, but otherwise this was mostly Gary's gig.

We filed into the room, found seats near Clint, and let nature take its course.

Gary sat at the desk right next to the one where Clint had seated himself, and I chose the seat behind Gary, where I could get a good view of Clint. Briefly, I wished that Benny could be here to assist, but other than gym, he and I had the misfortune not to share a single other class.

The bell rang and Mrs. Myson got the class rolling. We were working on solving equations with variables on both sides, using the distributive property. Math is basically a language, and a foreign one to anyone without a golden tongue. Mrs. Myson drew an equation on the board, and demonstrated how to get rid of the parentheses on both sides, then to combine like terms, get all the constants on one side of the equation, simplify, and solve.

I watched Clint watch Mrs. Myson. He seemed to follow her moves, but at the end shook his head and blew a frustrated little burst of air through his lips. Clearly, he didn't understand.

He looked around the room, trying to see if anyone else looked as baffled as he was feeling, and for a brief second our eyes met. He shook his head helplessly, and I felt sorry for him. Nothing worse than not understanding how something works, and not knowing how to learn to do it properly.

Gary looked over at Clint and offered a sympathetic smile, and I did not miss how Clint's eyes kind of slid around that. That Clint was afraid of Gary in some way seemed clear to me. And as Gary was scarcely a formidable type of guy, and Clint was, that fear had to have some other basis than simply the physical. Or, maybe there was a physical attribute to Clint's fear - fear of physical attraction.

After class, Gary and I followed Clint into the hallway, and called for him to wait up. He stopped, watching us, frustration plain in his eyes. "Howdy, fellas."

I nodded. "Rough class today, huh?"

Clint groaned, nodding. "I just don't get this numbers and exes stuff."

I looked at Gary, waiting for him to start talking, but clearly he had frozen in place.

I sighed, and took Clint gently by one arm and began guiding him down the hallway. "Want some help?"

Clint looked at me like I'd just thrown a rope to him as he was about to go under in a quicksand pit. "Really?"

I nodded. "Gary and I are pretty good with this stuff. We'll both help you."

That was the plan. On the chance that Clint was too afraid of being alone with Gary and would refuse if Gary alone offered to assist, we had decided we would both offer our help, giving Clint the backstop of safety in numbers.

Clint's eyes widened, and he looked briefly at Gary, who smiled encouragingly. "Both y'all?" Clint asked.

I nodded. "Sure. You can come by my house after school. Know where the park is?"

Clint nodded. "Yeah. Pretty good clip from my place. I can ride my bike there, I s'pose."

I gave his arm a friendly squeeze. "Good job. We'll meet you there after school, okay?"

And it was as simple as that.

It was a chilly day, and the park was not crowded when we got there after school. Some diehards playing football on the big field, a few strollers, and a couple of older fellas sitting on a bench, talking.

Clint, when he arrived, did so noisily. His 'bike' turned out to be a small dirt bike, upon which he calmly rode into the park and drew up beside Benny, Gary and me. He wasn't wearing a helmet, just a pair of dark glasses, which, along with his cowboy boots, jeans, and jean jacket, gave him a kind of home-on-the-range appeal of some sort, almost as if he had been riding a horse.

He shut off the engine, and grinned at us. "Hey, y'all."

We crowded around him. I put a finger out and tapped the handlebars, and shook my head. "You ride this thing over on the roads?"

He laughed. "Tried not to, but had to here and there."

Benny shook his head. "That's illegal."

Clint just shrugged. "Gotta catch me first."

Gary grinned at me, as if silently saying, Isn't he great!

"You know Benny Cooper?" I asked, introducing my boyfriend - but not as my boyfriend.

"Seen you 'round," Clint said, smiling. "What's up?"

"Not much." Benny smiled. "Going to help you with a little algebra, is all."

Clint gave a little roll of his eyes. "I sure do need that. Can't thank you fellas enough."

We walked it to my house, Clint pushing his bike alongside of us. We just chatted about school, people, and things in general. Gary spoke to Clint as much as the conversation allowed, and after a few initial grunted responses, Clint seemed to warm to Gary and began using whole sentences to answer him.

"The ranch is my granpap's," Clint said, in answer to one of Gary's questions. "My granpap is a pretty stubborn fella. My dad was running the place for him, but granpap wanted to do some new things. My dad an' him couldn't see eye-to-eye, so we left."

"You just walked out?" Gary said, incredulously.

Clint gave a small, slightly bitter-sounding laugh. "Near enough. My dad started looking for a way out. He's a really good machinist. Learned it in the Navy when he was a young fella. He and another fella he was in the service with made up some new kind of tool, and they sold it to some company in the city near here. Part of the sale was that my dad had to come east and manage production. So we're here for five years, at least." He did not sound at all thrilled at that, either.

"You grew up there in Montana?" Gary asked, his interest in the other boy now obvious.

"Yep. I was born in the back bedroom of my granpap's house, in fact." Clint sighed. "Never been anywhere else."

I could feel the boy's sense of loss in those words. Not just for a place, but for a lifestyle. And a life.

Our first study session went well. Our chief aim was to get Clint to relax, not to teach him math. It seemed to work, and while we did go over some basics, we had more fun than work.

The sessions that followed, only about twice a week, because Clint helped his father some afternoons, also went well, and we all begin to look forward to them. Winter eased away and spring came in, and the world warmed and the trees started to bud. Clint was managing algebra fairly well by that point, but we still got together anyway, because it was so much fun.

And, Clint and Gary became friends. The attraction between them was plain, although so was the fact that Clint was terrified to act upon it. Benny and I played things loose, like very good friends would do, setting an example of ease around each other that Clint and Gary could emulate. I often noticed Clint watching Benny and I, absorbing the way we so causally and easily interacted. Benny and I wrestled around, played, and never worried about how much space was between us. We just painted a picture of total ease with each other that we hoped would demonstrate to Clint on some level that he was safe with his feelings about Gary.

And then one day, Benny and I waited after school in the park, just like always. Only this time, neither Gary nor Clint showed up. We waited an extra half-hour, but the guys did not appear. I called both of them on my cell, and neither answered their phones.

"Wonder what happened?" Benny asked, as he and I walked back to my house. It was a pleasant spring day, even warmer than usual.

"I can't imagine," I answered. Gary and Clint had seemed fine at school that day. Better than fine. They were best friends now, and I couldn't imagine something happening to disturb that.

We sat down on my front steps, feeling a little let down. Something had happened, to keep both boys from showing. They both came from the same direction, and usually Gary would wait at the corner of his street for Clint to come by and pick him up on the dirt bike.

"Man, I hope they didn't have an accident," Benny said then. "Or maybe the cops finally got them." He shook his head. "I was so wishing those two would get together."

Clint had been chased a couple of times by county cops out to stop the tagless bike; but he had always ducked into the woods and eluded them. He was kind of proud of it, and laughed when the rest of us just shook our heads.

I dug my cell out once more, with the intention of trying Gary's phone again, when I heard the sound of the bike down the street. Benny looked at me, his eyes wide, and we both stood and watched as the dirt bike came into view. Clint and Gary were both aboard, and Gary waved as the bike pulled up onto the curb and stopped by the steps.

Both boys were tanned, their hair wind-blown, and both were grinning. A very appealing picture, if I do say so myself. And not a sign of anything wrong at all.

"Where you guys been?" Benny demanded, as the two climbed off the bike.

Clint winced, and looked at Gary. "Told ya they'd be worried."

Gary nodded. "It's okay, guys. I'll explain." He looked at me pointedly. "In your room."

I felt a little surprised by that, but just nodded. "Come on in." I unlocked the door and let the four of us inside. Gary immediately bounded up the stairs to the second floor, with Clint right behind him.

Benny stared at me. "What do you think is going on?"

I had no idea, and said so. We followed the other two upstairs to my room, and found them standing by the bed, waiting for us.

"Close the door," Gary said.

Benny huffed. "What the hell is the big mystery?"

Clint gave a nervous laugh, and Gary just smiled. "Watch."

Gary stepped away from Clint, and looked him up and down. Like Gary, Clint was dressed in shorts and a tee-shirt, and running shoes with no socks.

Then Gary walked slowly around Clint in a circle, so obviously checking him out all over that it was slightly embarrassing. Yet Clint just stood there, a small, nervous smile on his face.

Gary came back around front, grinned at Benny and me, and started around again. Benny put his hands on his hips and looked at me, his face plainly set in a what the fuck? expression.

Gary went behind Clint and stopped. He turned to face Clint's backside, and slowly came forward, until he bumped into him. I felt my eyes getting wider as I just watched in astonishment. Gary's hands came up, slid between Clint's arms and his body, wrapped slowly around Clint's belly, until he was holding him. Then Gary laid his chin on Clint's shoulder, turned his face slightly, and kissed Clint on the side of his neck!

And then Gary sighed, laid his chin back on Clint's shoulder, and grinned at us. "Isn't he gorgeous?"

Benny and I just stared at the nervous smile on Clint's face, until Gary started laughing. He pulled back and came around Clint, leaned in and kissed him again on the lips. This time, Clint's hands came up to lay upon Gary's waist, clearly demonstrating that both of them were involved in this display.

Gary turned back to us, still wrapped in Clint's arm, and smiled. "I got me a boyfriend!"

Clint nodded, still looking slightly petrified.

And then Benny and I were there with them, clapping them on their backs and congratulating them.

"How did this happen?" Benny asked, just before I could myself.

Gary gave a little pout, and looked embarrassed. "I delivered an ultimatum, that's how!"

"I'll say," Clint said, finally speaking.

"Ultimatum?" I asked, looking at Gary. "What kind of ultimatum?"

Gary gave Clint another hug, and then disengaged from him. "I told him I loved him, and if he didn't unfreeze and love me back, I was leaving forever!"

Benny and I both gaped. "What?" Benny gasped.

Clint nodded. "He said he knew I loved him, but that I was scared, and I'd better get unscared in a hurry, or I'd find myself alone!"

Gary reached over and grasped Clint's hand, laced their fingers together, and gave Clint an obvious squeeze. "Well, he unfroze, and here we are!"

Clint licked his lips. "Is it true? That you two are...you know?"

Benny grabbed me, whirled me around, bent me backwards, and laid one on me. I gasped as I nearly swallowed his tongue, and as his hand gently felt me between the legs. And then he straightened, let me go, and smiled sweetly at Clint. "Is what true?"

Clint tossed his head back and laughed, so obviously relieving himself of tension that Benny and I grinned at each other. Gary smiled, and pulled up Clint's hand and kissed the back of it.

Clint stopped laughing and gasped a moment, catching his breath. "I can't believe I'm doing this."

"It's what you want...isn't it?" Gary asked, suddenly looking serious.

Clint turned to look at him, and I could see his heart melt. He reached out and pulled Gary closer. "Yeah. It's what I want."

Benny came to me and grabbed me into a hug. I could feel his delight for Gary and Clint just radiating from his body as he squeezed me close. "See?" He whispered into my ear. "Wishes do count."

I just laughed, and held him close, and loved him with all of my heart.

* * * * * * *

"Is that you, Griffin?"

I stuck my head around the corner from the kitchen, to see my mother seated on the living room sofa, reading. "Yes, it's me. What are you reading?"

"Fiction. Michael Crichton."

I nodded. "Isn't he dead?"

She smiled. "Yes. But his physical condition hasn't spoiled his fiction." Her eyes twinkled at me. "What are you doing?"

"I finished my homework, and I was hungry. I thought I'd get a slice of leftover pizza."

She nodded, placing a finger in her book. "Well, get it, and come here a moment, okay?"

"Sure."

I went back to the refrigerator and selected a slice of pepperoni pizza from the box, grabbed a napkin to hold it over, and returned to the living room.

Her eyebrows went up. "Cold?"

"I like it that way."

"There are some interesting chemical reactions that take place when pizza is heated, that add to the flavor."

I rolled my eyes. "You asked me back to discuss the thermal interactions of the acids in tomato sauce with animal fats and baked bread flour?"

She smiled. "Come sit for a moment, Griffin."

I sighed, but went and sat down by her on the sofa. She immediately extended a hand and gently rubbed the back of my neck. "You've been on the go a lot lately. You're not tiring yourself out, are you?"

"No." I shook my head, and accented my denial with a smile. "Actually, I have been having a lot of fun."

She tilted her head to one side. "Fun? Is this my little astronomical theorist talking?"

I felt my cheeks grow warm. "Mom."

She smiled, and her fingers gently squeezed my neck. "I like Benny. He's a very sweet boy. And he has done wonders, pulling you out of your shell."

I stopped in mid-chew, blinking at her. "My shell?"

She pursed her lips momentarily, but then went back to the smile. "Yes, Griffin. Shell. An encasement or enclosure designed to protect its contents from harm."

It was my turn to cock my head. "Are you saying that before I met Benny, I was...isolated?"

"Somewhat." She nodded. "Yes. That's a fair assessment."

I stared at her, even then knowing she spoke the truth. I was already aware, on some level, that my ideas about a lot of things had changed since meeting Benny. Some I had accepted with sighs...but most I had embraced with smiles. I loved Benny, and I loved being with Benny. His view of the world, when added to my own, had more than doubled the distance to my horizons.

"I agree," I said, quietly. "I have learned a lot from Benny." I smiled. "And I've certainly been enjoying it."

She looked happy. "I'm so glad, Griffin. Do you see your relationship with Benny as something...long-term?"

That stunned me. Life without Benny? "Yes," I said immediately. "Is that a problem?"

"Not at all," she said, with great certainty. "Your father and I both think he's good for you. And that you are good for him. You've been seeing him...what? A year or more now?"

I nodded. "More. It doesn't seem that long, but...yes."

She touched a forefinger to one of my eyebrows and smoothed it gently. "It's been a good year for all of us."

She raised her book and opened it again, which I took as a signal that she thought she had satisfied her part of the conversation.

I laughed. "Has this been a heart-to-heart conversation, like I've read about?"

She nodded. "I think so. Do you?"

I did, and nodded. "Can we have another sometime?"

Her smile was definitely a pleased one. "Yes. I would like that very much. I think your father would enjoy one now and then, as well."

"Okay. I think I'd like that." I looked around. "Where is father...dad?"

She gave a very small, very sweet laugh. "In the den. He's doing the taxes."

I rolled my eyes. I knew that my father disliked doing the taxes. "Maybe he could use a short break?" I raised the remainder of my slice of pizza. "And a snack? I'll take him a slice, okay?"

She nodded. "He'd like that."

I jumped up, and she reached out and stopped me. "Hot, though...okay?"

I laughed. "Okay. And I'll ask him why it's better that way, too."

She sighed, looking happy. That kind of amazed me, because to look happy like that, you needed to have been somewhat unhappy about something before. I decided I'd discuss it with Benny, who seemed to have a very good handle on dealing with his parents.

Among other things.