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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

The Secret Life Of Billy Chase 9 - 47. Chapter 47

Tuesday


- My dad called the house today.

Is it weird that I....I just...felt a bit strange about hearing his voice?

I shouldn't. What's changed between the last time that I spoke to him and today? I guess my perspective on what went down between him and my mom had changed slightly. The idea of him just...walking away from us the way he did...I don't know...it really started to rub me raw for the first time. It felt more like I was talking to a stranger than my own father. I'm a bit conflicted about that.

It's not like I hate him or anything. I just found myself making random small talk and wanting to pass the phone off to my mom as soon as possible. The whole situation just felt uncomfortable. Just...yeah...just uncomfortable.

Speaking of which, Brandon sent me a message super early this morning that sounded a bit awkward. Well...not awkward so much as it was oddly timed. He sent it at like 6:30 in the morning. There is no reason whatsoever for a teenage boy to be up at 6:30 in the morning during the Summer. Hell, if it wasn't for work, I doubt I'd ever roll out of bed before noon. But it was basically him saying, "Billy...you know that I love you more than anything in this world, right? I always have. I always have. Call me later, k?"

Normally, I would look at that message and think that it was super sweet, but...there was something seriously 'off' about the vibe of his message. I wrote back and asked if he wanted to talk for a bit, but I didn't get a message back right away, so I figured that he was busy with other things.

It makes you paranoid to think that your boyfriend might have something awful to tell you. Something that could really hurt. I've allowed Brandon into the deepest parts of my heart and soul, and we agreed on starting over with a clean slate...but I know that I still have a few revelations to lay on him when the time is right. Now...I'm starting to wonder if he has a few painful revelations of his own.

I'm glad that Sam came knocking on my door before I was able to dive too deep into the madness of wondering what was on Brandon's mind today. Because...honestly...my initial thoughts were starting to drift towards the notion that maybe something happened between him and Stevie yesterday. now...I KNOW that I'm supposed to be trusting him to be faithful, and that I need to have some confidence when it comes to Brandon's love for me. But...this whole 'ex-boyfriend' thing REALLY makes me nervous sometimes. Am I being fair about that? I mean, how would he feel if I was hanging out with Bobby Jinette every Monday? It's not like he wouldn't think that was strange...especially if I kept it a secret from him all Summer long.

Anyway...let me get my thoughts together. I don't have many pages left in this journal to ramble aimlessly like I am.

So...Sam came over, and he checked to make sure that my mom wasn't home before walking to my bedroom and closing the door. Do you know what he said to me? He's like, "Look, I don't want you to freak out or anything, but I heard from Jimmy last night and this morning...and it sounds like he has it out for you, big time, dude."

What the...??? I was like, "What the fuck FOR??? I don't even TALK to Jimmy anymore!"

Sam said, "Doesn't matter. He's hurt, and he's super jealous, and he's pissed that you won't contact him and let him explain himself."

I'm like, "EXPLAIN himself? What is there to explain? He's a goddamn nightmare!" I felt so fucking betrayed at that moment! What kind of a heartless asshole picks a fight with somebody who hasn't done a damn thing to provoke or antagonize him? That doesn't even make any kind of rational sense. I'm like, "What did he say about me?"

And Sam's like, "He's talking about how 'fake' you are, both as a lover and as a friend. He says you led him on and pulled his heart into a relationship with you, just so you could use him for sex and dump him when you were finished with him."

Shocked, I shouted, "That's a fucking LIE!!! That's SUCH a fucking lie, Sam! i would NEVER do that! That's not what happened between us at all! He's making it all up! Don't listen to him! He's a fucking LIAR!!!"

Sam put a hand on my shoulder and gave me a smirk. He giggled while wrinkling up his eyebrows at my reaction. He's like, "Hehehe, calm down, dude. I know he's lying. Billy...how long have I known you? You wear your heart on your sleeve more than anybody I know. I, honestly, doubt that I could find a sweeter, more compassionate person if I tried. That's not you at all. I know it. Anybody that has ever spoken to you for more than a few minutes knows it too. There's no way that I would believe such a ridiculous lie from someone who is clearly looking to make you look bad. Why the hell would I listen to someone talking shit about my best friend when i already know who you are, through and through. What am I, an idiot? It wouldn't make much sense at all to believe a single bad word that he ever said about you. So no worries on my part, k? Promise."

I'm like, "Why would he even go through the trouble of doing that? I don't even care enough to hate him right now. I'm happy. I'm in love. My life is finally getting back on the right track for the first time in forever. He can walk away and never have to think about me again. If he despises me so much, I'm cool with that. But whatever it was that we had for that first few weeks at the beginning of the Summer...it's over now. It's been over for a long time. What the fuck is he bitching to YOU for?"

Sam sat on my bed, and he said, "Dude...it's no different than what he did to keep you and Brandon apart before the Summer even started. It's the same childish tactics, and they wont have any more significant impact now than they did back then. He just figures that he's miserable, so he can't stand you NOT being miserable with him. But I actually give a shit about your happiness, dude. I WANT you to be happy. I want you and Brandon to get butt naked and ride a big ol' gay rainbow slide into a pot of gold until you're both laughing so hard that it hurts. Hehehe! But that's just me. Still, all of his efforts are in vain. You still got what you wanted, and he's still sad and alone. What else can he do but be mad about it?"

I said, "I swear, Sam...I didn't do anything to hurt Jimmy on purpose. I may have made my mistakes, and I know that I'm partially to blame for..."

Sam stopped me. "No, Billy. Maybe you made some mistakes, and I get it...screwing Jimmy, knowing how he felt about you was a majorly bad idea. But that's over now. You made a decision, you broke it off, you sent your apologies...and it's time for you both to move on. Jimmy's being a fucking asshole by chasing you around like some kind of deranged stalker. But you've got a bright future ahead of you now without him. You've got love in your heart, and true friends who love and care about you, and this uncanny ability to truly attract people to you without much effort at all. You're Billy Chase. I doubt you'll ever have anything to worry about Jimmy whispering false gossip into somebody else's ear, trying to make you look like the jerk in this situation." He said, adding, "When Jimmy looks at his reflection in the mirror tonight, before he goes to bed...he'll know in his heart of hearts that he was a total bastard for even trying to turn me against my best bro. And he'll have to deal with that on his own. Not your problem. Certainly not mine. It's not going to happen. It's sad that he would even try."

The pain I felt was temporary. Intense, but it faded once Sam reassured me that he was standing with me. Just like always. He was the pure definition of a best friend, hands down. And when he stood up to hug me around the shoulders, I almost felt my eyes misting up from the affection I felt coming from him.

This is a level of bonding and appreciation that some people will never ever know. I'm just thankful that I found it in his loving embrace. What kind of human being would I be without it?

I sniffled, "You've always got my back, Sam..."

And he replied, "Damn straight. Until the end of time." He patted me on the back and then let go, telling me, "Listen, Jimmy's being a creep. And I, honestly, don't want anything else to do with him. That kid is bad news. And I'm starting to realize that all he ever did was try to make me another 'you' by latching onto me the way he did. Also not cool. So, I don't know if I'm going to be much help going forward with all of this...but...just know that I'm on your side. Ok? I'm not going to let some 'butt-hurt' son of a bitch tell me who you are as a person. I already know. And I'll take your random mistakes and mishaps over Jimmy LaPlane's bullshit rumors and blatant lies any day. You have my word on that."

I'm like, "Thanks, Sam. I'm done with this whole thing. I just find it hard to even care anymore. I'm not really worried about it."

He said, "Thatta boy! Me either!" Then he said, "If he's not careful, he's gonna end up with me throwing another one of his shoes on the fucking roof! Hahaha!"

Thinking way back to that middle school incident, I had to laugh out loud at the absurdity of it. That seems like it was so long ago! I told Sam, "Asshole behavior aside...hehehe, you still shouldn't have done that to him."

Sam giggled, and said, "Seemed like a good idea at the time. Sue me." Then he asked, "So, moving on to something that's actually important...are we hitting this Jamie Cross party this weekend or what? I'm in a partying mood."

I said, "Yeah. I think that would be cool." But, after a brief pause, I said, "I told Brandon about coming with us yesterday."

Sam was all like, "Really? What did he say?"

I'm like, "Well...I think he wants to go. Or...at least, he seems like he's interested in going."

Sam could hear the uncertainty in my voice, and asked, "What does that mean? You don't sound too happy about it."

I hesitated for a moment, and then told him, "I asked him if maybe he'd want to go...you know...as my date. Instead of just a friend."

He tried to hide it, but I heard a little gasp from Sam as his eyes widened slightly. "Dude...are you serious?"

I'm like, "I dunno...maybe?" He looked worried. So I asked, "Do you think that's a mistake?"

He's like, "No! I'm not saying that it's a mistake, it's just..."

I'm like, "You DO! You think it's a mistake. Sam...come on, dude...be honest with me, ok?"

And he struggled with the next words that he was planning to allow to come out of his mouth, but eventually he said, "It's just...I thought that you might tell one or two people at a time. A little here, a little there...let the word spread on its own. Among friends, you know? People that you sorta...trust."

I said, "Well...I was thinking that too at first, but...everybody is going to know eventually, right? Why not rip off the tape and get it over with?"

He's like, "Because it fucking HURTS! That's why!" Then he calmed down and said, "Look, whatever you do...I'm with you. Just...be sure, ok? You see what happened to Stevie when he moved too fast. I'm just looking out for you. That's all."

I knew that. I knew Sam would stand at my side, no matter what. But I really do think that Brandon and I have come too far together to go running back into hiding again. The last thing I'd ever want is to see the love of my whole life in the hallway and be too scared, too ashamed, to reach out for his hand. Or stare lovingly into his eyes. Or possibly give him the sweetest of kisses on the cheek before he went to his next class and I went to mine. That kind of torture was meant for secrets that are bad. Secrets that are immoral, unlawful, or inhumane and despicable in nature. That's not what Brandon and I are building together. That's not a part of who we are.

How can we love each other while feeling too ashamed to say it out loud? You know?

Anyway, I think Sam understands why I wanted to do things this way. And he's hesitant, but supportive. Heh...my protective Sam.

I've got to run. Brandon wrote me back while Sam was here, but I didn't get it until just a few minutes ago. Brandon wants us to get together tomorrow and talk. Yeah...'talk'.

He even suggested that we go to the Hill to do it, which has me even more worried than before. I wish he could just tell me what was on his mind already, but...I guess wants to make this a personal affair, so...I'll just have to wait for a little while longer.

PLEASE tell me that it doesn't have anything to do with Stevie! I'm going to break both of his arms and legs myself if I find out he laid a hand on my boyfriend! I'll give that weasel something to be afraid of!!! Believe me!!!

Ok, I'm thinking into this too much. I should go.

Yeah, I'm gonna go. Laters.

- Billy

Copyright © 2017 Comicality; All Rights Reserved.
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

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I love the new chapter. We haven't had any "face-to-face" scenes with Sam for a while, if my memory serves me. Jimmy...talk about a big fake! He's inventing this whole relationship in his head that never has and never will exist between him and Billy. I especially like Billy's plan to take Brandon to the party and come out to everyone!  :D

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Nice chapter Comsie. You put me on a string and now adding another one too to my worries about Billy and Brandon and Greg(right!?). I hope the next chapter will confirm my doubts and give an answer to it. 

 

I feel for Jimmy, though. His approach to make Billy the bad guy, was kinda set me to worry about him. I don't hate Jimmy here. He has been through so much, it is possible for him to go nuts on Billy. I hope he will understand the situations and control his emotions. I know the feeling of starving for love. How it makes you a slut and all. So I feel for him. Just hope something or someone give some solace to his hurting heart. 

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I get the feeling that Brandon's message is a lot less sinister than Billy is making it out to be right now. Maybe Stevie tried something, but I don't think Brandon would let things happen. I think it's either Brandon wants to tell Billy about Greg being the mysterious 'one other person', or he's just not ready to be out at school yet. Of course, I could be wrong and Brandon will admit that he's been AJ's wingman all this time. :rolleyes:

 

Good to see Sam again, even if he only brings bad news this time. Jimmy is, well, he's just being Jimmy, I guess. I'm trying to feel bad for him, but then I remember how selfish he was about this whole 'relationship' and completely ignored Billy's feelings on the matter. I hope he can find someone who can make him happy, but I don't think he's ready for that yet, and he's giving off strong "if I can't have him, no one can" vibes right now. He'll probably start spreading rumours the moment school starts, and also out Billy and Brandon in a bad way. That's why I think they should do it on their own terms, at the party.

 

Another great chapter, the suspense is killing me! :D

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it felt short... I really wanted to know whats up with Brandon... I can't believe he would cheat on Billy after what then went through, but I feel he has some problem. Did his dad find out? Or he is just nervous for not been able to go as Billy date, is he fearing disappointing Billy?

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On one hand I am so happy to have another chapter and on the other hand this short chapter feels like torture as it likely will be a while before we get the next one 😢. Wow, @Comicality knows how to create an intriguing cliffhanger that keeps us on the edge of our seats and the content is so good you don’t mind waiting...too much 😂. Just hearing one of those messages from Brandon makes me think ok that’s unusual but when you combine the two I’m not surprised Billy is a little worried especially giving the Stevie situation. I mean when you combine the tone of the first message with the comment about needing to talk it seems like Brandon is worried about Billy’s reaction to something though overall I suspect both of them are overreacting. I mean it could be something as simple as well as understandable as Brandon changing his mind about coming out while worrying Billy will be upset with him. Of course Billy will be upset with him to some degree as he really really wants to be public yet considering how things went when people learned Stevie is gay I can understand Brandon being nervous about coming out to people at a party as the gradual way of coming out Sam brought up is...safer. Then it could be that the theory that Greg is Brandon’s ex lover is accurate and he’s worried how Billy will react though Billy would be a hypocrite if he got too upset over it. I mean he’s in love with Brandon so I doubt he’d be thrilled about thinking of him having sex with Greg yet his reaction won’t be to blow up in Brandon’s face so he has nothing to worry about. This might be time for Billy to be transparent about his past sexual experiences if Brandon brings up his. Billy is automatically jumping to the worst case scenario with his concerns that Brandon might have cheated on him with Stevie. Now, to be honest throughout that ongoing...situation I have found the idea of Brandon spending more time with his ex than his current boyfriend concerning not to mention how he initially hid it. I’m also once again for the thousand time also thinking of the photo Jimmy showed Billy that was never explained away as I can’t get that tiny detail out of mind so while Brandon seems like an upstanding guy I can’t be 100% certain whatever going on isn’t infidelity related. There are multiple possibilities and it could even be one we readers haven’t even thought of so I guess we’ll have to wait to see what’s going on. Considering how psycho Jimmy is acting it could even be some unknown drama he has a hand in though I doubt it. I hope Billy is overreacting.

Edited by NimirRaj
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5 hours ago, NimirRaj said:

Einerseits bin ich so froh, ein anderes Kapitel zu haben, und andererseits fühlt sich dieses kurze Kapitel wie Folter an, da es wahrscheinlich eine Weile dauern wird, bis wir das nächste Kapitel bekommen . Wow,  @Comicality  weiß , wie eine faszinierende Hängepartie zu schaffen , die uns am Rande unserer Sitze hält und der Inhalt ist so gut Sie nicht warten , nichts dagegen ... zu viel 😂. Nur eine dieser Nachrichten von Brandon zu hören, lässt mich denken, dass dies ungewöhnlich ist, aber wenn Sie die beiden kombinieren, bin ich nicht überrascht, dass Billy etwas besorgt ist, vor allem wegen der Stevie-Situation. Ich meine, wenn Sie den Ton der ersten Nachricht mit dem Kommentar über das Bedürfnis verbinden, miteinander zu reden, scheint es, als wäre Brandon besorgt über Billys Reaktion auf etwas, obwohl ich vermute, dass beide überreagieren. Ich meine, es könnte etwas so einfaches und verständliches sein wie Brandon, der seine Meinung darüber ändert, dass er herauskommt, während er sich Sorgen macht, dass Billy sich über ihn aufregen wird. Natürlich wird Billy einigermaßen sauer auf ihn sein, weil er wirklich wirklich öffentlich sein möchte, wenn er bedenkt, wie die Dinge gelaufen sind, als die Leute gelernt haben, dass Stevie schwul ist aus Sam herausgebracht ist ... sicherer Dann könnte es sein, dass die Theorie, dass Greg Ex-Liebhaber von Brandon ist, zutreffend ist und er sich Sorgen macht, wie Billy reagieren wird, obwohl Billy ein Heuchler sein würde, wenn er sich darüber aufregt. Ich meine, er ist in Brandon verliebt. Ich bezweifle, dass er begeistert sein könnte, wenn er daran denkt, dass er mit Greg Sex hat, aber seine Reaktion wird nicht in Brandons Gesicht gehen, also muss er sich keine Sorgen machen. Dies könnte der Zeitpunkt sein, in dem Billy seine früheren sexuellen Erfahrungen transparent machen kann, wenn Brandon seine anspricht. Billy springt automatisch in den schlimmsten Fall mit seinen Bedenken, dass Brandon ihn möglicherweise mit Stevie betrogen hätte. Um ehrlich zu sein, habe ich die Idee gefunden, dass Brandon mehr Zeit mit seinem Ex verbringt als mit seinem derzeitigen Freund, nicht zu erwähnen, wie er es anfangs versteckt hat. Ich denke auch noch einmal an das Foto, das Jimmy gezeigt hat, wie Billy Billy gezeigt hat, der nie erklärt wurde, da ich dieses winzige Detail nicht aus dem Kopf bekommen kann. Während Brandon wie ein aufrechter Kerl zu sein scheint, kann ich nicht 100% sein. Gewiss, was auch immer los ist, hängt nicht von Untreue ab. Es gibt mehrere Möglichkeiten und es könnte sogar eine geben, an die wir Leser noch nicht gedacht haben. Ich denke, wir müssen abwarten, um zu sehen, was los ist. Wenn man bedenkt, wie der Psycho Jimmy handelt, könnte es sogar ein unbekanntes Drama sein, an dem er beteiligt ist, obwohl ich daran zweifle. Ich hoffe, Billy überreagiert. Es gibt mehrere Möglichkeiten und es könnte sogar eine geben, an die wir Leser noch nicht gedacht haben. Ich denke, wir müssen abwarten, um zu sehen, was los ist. Wenn man bedenkt, wie der Psycho Jimmy handelt, könnte es sogar ein unbekanntes Drama sein, an dem er beteiligt ist, obwohl ich daran zweifle. Ich hoffe, Billy überreagiert. Es gibt mehrere Möglichkeiten und es könnte sogar eine geben, an die wir Leser noch nicht gedacht haben. Ich denke, wir müssen abwarten, um zu sehen, was los ist. Wenn man bedenkt, wie der Psycho Jimmy handelt, könnte es sogar ein unbekanntes Drama sein, an dem er beteiligt ist, obwohl ich daran zweifle. Ich hoffe, Billy überreagiert.

the story on tension to keep ok but you can exaggerate it so that you can cumsy view is supposed to keep his secret for himself 
uninteresting to me now.
the others have a lot of fun waiting

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But is Sam debating about the "nature" - "moral" or "immoral" - of Billy-Brandon's love, or is he just exposing to Billy his "sensible worries" about the "action" of exposing this love in public ,  whatever the nature of this love may be ?  What Sam is telling Billy is simply this: it doesn't make any difference whether your love for Brandon is "good" or "bad", the only thing that matters is that if you put it on show in the wrong way, place and time -  example: kissing Brandon on his cheek before getting into classroom -  you and Brandon will be beaten, because there are people out there who care nothing about the "nature" of this love, they simply hate it the very moment they see it , and this "hate" is not a "philosophy", it 's  an instinctive explosion of envious rage and an impulse to attack. On the contrary,  that of Billy "How can we love each other while feeling ashamed to say it out loud" is a "philosophical" reasoning built upon the sentimental confusion between "shame" and "fear", a very comprehensible confusion in this situation, but the point is: true or false, a simple reasoning in the private of one's own mind can nothing against a factual reality.     

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I hate how you keep getting me all excited and then yo yo the hell out of my emotions! I still can't get enough of this story!!

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