Chronicles Of An Academic Predator - 46. Chapter 46

August 29, 1963

 

Jeff was gone when I woke up, off to practice, so I got up, took a shower, and ate some breakfast. After that I went in to check on Isidore and Ace. Ace was sleeping, while Isidore was green.

 

“You are still not feeling well?” I asked.

 

“No. Hopefully this will pass.” She sensed my somber mood. “Something is troubling you JP? What is it?”

 

“We are going to lose Jeff for awhile,” I said, voicing the thought that had plagued my mind for the past week.

 

“You are being silly. He loves you, and in his own way, he loves me too. And Ace. He would not desert us.”

 

“You do not understand. He is a Freshman, albeit a very mature Freshman, but a Freshman nonetheless. I have been on college campuses for 10 years now, and the pattern is always the same. When the Freshmen get to campus they go through an enormous personal growth spurt, and they make entirely new friends, and that challenges and strains all the relationships they had before they get to school.”

 

“I do not believe it will happen to Jeff,” she said indignantly.

 

“Sometime this weekend he will tell us that the coach requires all players to live on campus. After that, we'll be lucky if we see him once a week.” I was being fatalistic about this, probably because there was nothing I could do.

 

“We shall see. So if he does this, what do you do? You will be hurt, it will be so painful.” She cuddled up to me and stroked my hair, and I found incredible comfort in knowing she was in this with me.

 

“I have to give him his space and not make him feel guilty about it. I have to bury any pain it causes me, smile, encourage him, and hope that when the dust settles, he still wants to be here. And you must do the same.”

 

“How do we do that?”

       

“When he moves out, we help him; get him stuff for his dorm room, things like that. And when he comes home, we make sure he knows we're happy to see him, but we didn't expect him to come home. It's a surprise he's giving us as a gift, not an obligation he's fulfilling.”

 

“You have thought this through completely. I will need your help to finesse this.”

 

“I am always here for you. That's why you have that expensive rock on your finger.” I smiled at her, and she returned it with an even bigger one.

 

“JP, there is another consideration, one that you have complicated with your thoughts.”

 

“What is it?” I'd been through the Freshman crunch before, many times. What could I have missed?

 

“I am pregnant. That is the reason for this sickness. It was not so bad with Ace.”

 

I just stared at her. Then I smiled. What great news! What glorious news! “That is fantastic! I'm so happy! Wow! I never thought there would come a day when I'd be a daddy. First Ace, and now a new one.”

 

“You must remember JP, that there are two possible fathers for this baby. Certainly you will be the legal father, but the biological choices are you or Jeff.” That was a kind and delicate way of her telling me she hadn't fucked around with anyone else.

 

“I honestly don't care which of us is the biological father.”

 

“I know you don't, but don't you think Jeff has a right to know? Don't you think we should tell him the news? I think it would be wrong to withhold it from him.”

 

“He has a right to know. Are you absolutely sure?”

 

“Well, I am late with my period and I have morning sickness, so I am pretty sure, but not 100%.”

 

“Let's do this. Let's keep this quiet until you know for sure. Go see a doctor. Once it is confirmed, then we'll tell him.” She looked at me dubiously.

 

“Fine JP, I will do as you ask. But I have no doubts. A woman understands her own body, especially after she has already had a child.”

 

“But is it so wrong to wait until you're absolutely sure?” I knew I was splitting hairs here, but I didn't want Jeff to be completely trapped. He may end up resenting either one of us, or both of us.

 

“I am not sure, but I will make an appointment and find out as soon as I can.” I had to agree to that.

 

I was sitting in my study pretending to work when Betty walked in with a serious look on her face. “Can I help you Betty?” I inquired.

 

“JP, I've come to give you my notice.” Now that was a shock.

 

“Can I ask why?”

 

“I just can't abide the way you is cheating on Isidore, and with another man. I ain't blind. I know Jeff sleeps with you. And I even seen that Stefan go in and out of your room.” She was being imperious and self-righteous.

 

“I'm sorry Betty. I didn't realize that you wanted to know all the details about my sex life. Would you like to know exactly what we're all doing to each other?” She frowned at me and got ready to leave.

 

“Wait a minute.” She paused. “Jeff is my partner. We are lovers, homosexuals. Isidore knew that when she married me. I've been completely open and honest with her about whom I am. But she wants to stay in the US, and I want to adopt Ace, and marrying her was the best way to do that. In the process I've grown, well, I've grown to love her, and we're good friends. If we don't have a problem with our relationship, what makes you think you should?”

 

“Two men together in the biblical sense is a sin against God.” Boy had I heard this before.

 

“Maybe you're right. Maybe we're substandard humans, scum. You know what they ought to do? They ought to ostracize us from polite society. Make us live in different parts of the city. Make us sit in the back of the bus when we take public transportation. Not let us eat or drink, or even stay at places where heterosexuals are. I think that's a great solution, don't you?” I'd allowed myself to get pissed off, and her mouth hit the floor. She turned on her heel and left. Great. Now I'd have to find someone else to help us out.

 

I went in and told Isidore the news about Betty and she started crying. She told me that it was just hormonal because she was pregnant, but I didn't believe her. She'd grown attached to Betty, as had I. I made myself a gin and tonic and went outside to sit on the balcony so I could feel sorry for myself. These pity parties I hosted for myself were satisfying in a masochistic kind of way. Better than letting Jason beat the shit out of me.

 

About half an hour later, the door slid open and I turned to find Betty staring at me with “the look.” “What now?” I asked in a nasty tone. “You come out here to itemize some of my other sins?”

 

She guffawed at that, not too dissimilar to Jeff's snaughs. “I don't have that much time left in my life.” That caught me by surprise. A joke? She went on. “I'd like to take back my notice if you'll allow me to stay on. I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions, and for saying what I said. What you do in your private life really ain't none of my business.”

 

I got up and went over to hug her. “I'd love it if you stayed.” Then suddenly I let go and stepped back. “Wait, better be careful, it might be contagious. You could start dating other women.”

 

“Can't be any worse than most of the men I've dated,” she said, and headed off to the kitchen. I decided that, with the way today was going, the sooner I went to bed, the better. Even if it was alone.

 

Betty apparently felt guilty about her stint this afternoon so she'd made a big dinner. I'd strong armed Stefan and Willie into joining us, which made it a good group.

 

That night at dinner, Jeff seemed especially nervous. I ignored him, letting him wait until the time was right, for him at least. I knew what was coming. I braced myself, and eyed Isidore meaningfully. I knew I could count on her to help me through this. We were almost done eating when he dropped his bomb. “We got some bad news today. The coach says that all the players have to live on campus. That means the dorms.” I looked at her and sent her the message “I told you so” telepathically.

 

I smiled at him, watching him try to put a disappointed face on things, but knowing that he was excited, having bonded with his teammates. “I'm not surprised. That's pretty much the norm for football teams. So have you gotten your dorm assignment?”

 

He stared at me stunned, and I caught a wink from Isidore. “This doesn't bother you?”

 

“Of course we'll miss you, but when the semester starts we'll all be busy, and after the first semester, you can move back here. Unless of course dorm food has won you over.”

 

“Not likely,” he said with a smile at Betty. “It sounds like you're anxious for me to leave. You gonna help me pack after dinner?” he said sarcastically.

 

“No, no, that's not it,” I said, almost panicking. “I just know this is something you have to do. So we need to go check out this dorm room and see what kind of stuff we can get to make it more inhabitable. And before you leave, you have to make sure you get us tickets to your games. We will be there.”

 

“You mind if I come back and visit?” he asked, wondering perhaps if I was glad he was leaving.

 

“Jesus, it's a good thing you're going to college because you sure have gotten stupid. Of course you can come back here, whenever you want. This is your home.”

 

“Good. I'll be here every night, unless we're traveling.”

 

I just stared at him. “What?”

 

“You know, it pays to have a boyfriend with connections.” He looked sideways, nervously, at Willie. I realized that he was nervous because he wasn't sure it was OK to acknowledge that we were lovers in front of him. But Willie was perceptive, and he smiled at Jeff and gave him a thumbs up.

 

“What do you mean?” I suddenly wasn't in control and I recognized the warning signs, the panic that I sometimes felt when that happened, and forced myself to be calm.

 

“I told the coach that I was a friend of your family's, and that I was living with you. He told me that in that case, I didn't need to move into the dorms. I'm the only Freshman that got an exception.” He beamed with pride.

 

I just stared at him, and then at Isidore, who was looking at me with a shit-eating grin. It was her turn to throw the “I told you so” look right back at me. I was speechless. For the first time in a long time, I just overloaded and could say nothing.

 

Isidore came to my rescue. “I have some news as well. I am pregnant, and the father is at this table.” Stefan playfully flexed his fingers as if to flaunt his sexual prowess. “No it is not you my little slut.” He giggled.

 

Jeff jumped up and let out a whooping cheer, which made us all laugh. He picked me up and almost threw me in the air, which quite frankly I wasn't too thrilled with because it just made me feel scrawnier than I was, but I was captivated by his joy. “We're gonna be daddies!” he said excitedly.

 

“Which one of you?” asked Willie.

 

“Don't know,” I said. Betty just rolled her eyes to heaven, praying for our souls.

 

I got out another bottle of wine and poured a glass for everyone. “To our family,” I said. They all smiled and drank with me. It was a good omen.

 

“I have an announcement too,” Stefan said. He had our full attention. “I'm going to move back into my condo. Willie's going to stay with me for a few days until I'm feeling comfortable.”

 

“We'll miss you bud,” I said, and meant it. I really loved that little shit, and I missed him when he wasn't around.

 

“I'll be here, especially for meals,” he responded, getting more rolling eyes from Betty.

 

Willie looked left out, but Jeff stepped in quickly. He went up to Willie and put his arm around him. “Willie, you come up here and visit sometime too. You know where my bedroom is, right?” And then he squeezed Willie's ass. All of us laughed except Betty, who just said “Lawd a'mercy” and headed to the kitchen to clean up.

 

We all went to our respective corners after dinner. I decided to take a shower. I was feeling grimy, maybe from actual dirt, or maybe because I showed no confidence in this amazing guy who obviously loved me. I washed up and came out just wearing a towel and found Jeff lying on the bed, stark naked, stroking his hard cock seductively. “I've been waiting for you,” he said with a sultry voice.

 

I smiled and knelt over his cock, taking it quickly into my mouth and swallowing it like I'd learned to do. He fit so perfectly into my mouth. “Baby,” he said, “careful. You'll make me cum.”

 

I looked up at him and conjured up the most sex-crazed expression I could think of. “Damn right I will. I want to drink every last drop. I want to suck you dry.” I wondered if he'd like that kind of talk as much as I did.

 

He grinned at me and grabbed my head, forcing it back down on his cock. He thrust his hips up energetically to meet my bobs, and in a very short time he was blowing his wad down my throat. I moved up towards him, licking my lips. He put his hand on my forehead and pushed me away playfully. Then he let me snuggle up to him.

 

“So you want me to read your mind again?” he asked.

 

“Not really,” I said in all sincerity.

 

“Too bad,” he said, smacking my ass. “So you thought that I'd be the typical Freshman, and that I'd run off with all my football player friends, and get drunk all the time, and see how many of them, or the girls that were around, I could fuck, right?” I said nothing. “Right?” he insisted.

 

“It's pretty much what happens to everyone,” I said defensively.

 

“So then you'd be sitting here alone, having to fuck around with random guys to make you feel less shitty, while I partied on and forgot all about you. That it?” I felt so guilty. What a shithead I was. How could I have sold him so short? “And I bet you spent the whole afternoon feeling sorry for yourself.”

 

He gave me an out. “Not the whole afternoon. Betty quit and then agreed to stay, so I wasn't feeling sorry for myself when I was talking to her.”

 

“And now you're trying to change the subject.”

 

I moved up and kissed him and nuzzled up to his ear. “You're right, I am, because I've been such an asshole and I feel so guilty for ever doubting you and your love that I'm trying to dodge the whole subject. In fact, I figure if I keep whispering in your ear like this, you'll forget that you're mad at me, you'll get horny again, and we can have make-up sex.”

 

That totally cracked him up. He was laughing hysterically. I pretended to be pissed. “What now?”

 

“Now you've totally spoiled the mood and ruined my plan!” I said in mock irritation. He pulled me to him and kissed me passionately, with a love I'd only gotten from him. Then he turned me on my stomach and lubed me up and entered me. He moved slowly, oh so slowly, letting me feel every inch of his cock as it slid in and out of my ass. His movements, the thrust of his massive body, pushed me into the bed and rubbed my cock against it, and then he started doing that thing that always sent me over the edge.

 

“JP, I love you so much. God, I love being one with you like this. You think I would give this up for some dumb jocks or some football whores? You are everything to me. Can't you tell? Can't you feel it when our bodies connect? Can't you tell by the way our minds link? Can't you feel it when I thrust inside of you, and you make me want to blow another load right after I just came?” He picked up his pace a bit, then a bit more as he talked to me, then more, and then he was really fucking me and I shot into the sheets, burst after burst, while he filled me up.

 

He rolled me over and sucked my dick to clean it off, licking his lips as if he was savoring the taste of my cum. I ruffled his hair playfully. “Goofball,” I said. He snuggled up to me this time, playing with my chest and my nipple, making sure it stayed hard. “So you're not mad at me?” I asked.

 

“Nope,” he said simply.

 

“Why not?”

 

“Do you want me to be mad at you?” he asked. He was just playing with me, so I waited for him to knock it off and tell me.

 

He kissed me on the lips. “How could I be mad at you? Yeah, you thought I was a schmuck and gave me no credit for being a loyal, steadfast partner. But you were willing to let me go, give me my freedom if I needed it, even though it would have hurt you.”

 

“Badly.” I said. “It would have hurt so bad.” The thought almost made me cry, but I controlled myself.

 

“You put my needs before your own, just like you do for Stefan, and Isidore, and Ace. And our new baby.” I hugged him tight. “I wonder which one of us knocked her up,” he asked. “I'm betting my guys are faster swimmers than yours.”

 

“Well, we'll just have to wait and see, won't we?” I countered; genuinely ambivalent over which one of us was the biological father.

 

September 15, 1963

 

I stared at the television and felt tears roll down my face. I couldn't stop them, and neither could Jeff, who was sitting next to me. Someone, presumably white segregationists, had blown up the 16^th Street Baptist Church in Birmingham, Alabama. And now, splashed across the screen, were the pictures of four Negro children who had been killed in the blast. Children. It was unbelievable, and unconscionable. I wiped away the tears and felt ashamed that I was a white person.

 

The phone rang but I ignored it. Betty, efficient as ever, did not. “JP, you got a phone call,” she said, and then stopped to watch the news. I patted her on the back, trying to convey my sympathy.

 

“Hello,” I said into the phone, trying to hide my irritation.

 

“Dr. Crampton, I'm calling from Evanston General. We've admitted a young man, a Jason Strubbe.”

 

“Does he want to talk to me?” I asked. I wondered what he could possibly want with me.

       

“No, in fact he doesn't know we're calling. But you were our contact the last time he was here. He's in critical condition, and he's not awake at this point.”

 

“What happened to him?”

 

“He tried to kill himself. He cut his wrists and lost a great deal of blood before he was found. Most people try to commit suicide and secretly hope they'll be saved, but all indicators show that Mr. Strubbe was serious about it.”

 

“That's terrible. I'll come down and see him as soon as I can. Thanks for calling.” Betty walked past me to tell me that dinner was ready. Stefan and Willie were there as usual. I smiled at them, but I was in a somber mood.

 

We started eating when Jeff asked me who was on the phone. No point in hiding it. “It was the hospital. They admitted Jason.”

 

Jeff looked angry. “Why did they call you?!”

 

I sighed. “Because I was the contact person last time he was in there.”

 

Stefan stared at me, but I couldn't read his expression. Jeff was easy to read, his feelings were on his shirtsleeves. “Well good. And good riddance.”

 

Stefan spoke softly. “What happened?”

 

“He cut his wrists. The nurse said he really seemed to want to kill himself.” Everyone looked horrified, Isidore made the sign of the cross, and Jeff looked visibly guilty. He was the first to speak again. “How is he?”

 

“He's in critical condition.” With this and the news story, the dinner table was silent. When we were all done, I threw down the gauntlet. “I'm going to the hospital.”

 

Jeff stood up, ready to argue, ready to go into a rage, when Stefan stopped him with a few simple words: “I'm going with you.” Jeff just shook his head and left the room. I grabbed my keys and we headed to the hospital, neither one of us talking.

 

The nurse led us into his hospital room. Jason was hooked up to a bunch of machines, and combined with the bandages on his arms, he looked like a mummy. His face, though, was clearly visible. He looked terrible. His eyes were hollow and so were his cheeks.

 

A doctor came in and stood next to me. “You his next of kin?” he asked.

 

“Closest he has to it in Chicago,” I responded, and that seemed good enough.

 

“This young man lost a great deal of blood, but he was in bad shape before that. We evaluated his blood work, and there were indications of beginning malnutrition and alcohol poisoning. He was apparently living on the streets, a bum, and that probably saved his life. He didn't have anywhere private to go when he cut his wrists so someone found him. He left a note, but the cops have it. It was addressed to someone named Stefan.”

 

“That's me,” said Stefan. The doctor gave me the name of the cop who had it.

 

“So what happens to him now?” I asked.

 

“Well, we think he'll recover, but it's still touch and go. After that, he'll go to the state mental hospital.” I cringed at that. “They'll try to shock him out of his malaise.”

 

“Shock?” I asked, horrified. “You mean shock therapy?” The doctor nodded sadly. That would probably turn him into a zombie.

 

“He doesn't have any health insurance, and he has no financial wherewithal for a private hospital, so that's really his only choice. Now if you'll excuse me gentlemen, I have to finish my rounds.”

 

Stefan looked at me, pleading. “We can't let them do that to him JP! We have to help him!” I paused, shocked, at his earnestness. Here was the guy who beat and tortured him, scarred his psyche badly, and he was defending him? I knew why, because I felt the same way. It was because I still cared about Jason. The Stefan who had come here from France had cared about no one. He would have rejoiced in Jason's suffering. But this Stefan had learned to care, and learned to love. I was proud of this Stefan.

 

I smiled at him. “Don't worry. We'll make sure they don't send him to the state hospital.”

 

Jason's eyes blinked and he looked out, seemingly in a fog. Then his eyes seemed to focus on Stefan's face, and then mine and I could see the sheer panic in his expression. He tried to move but was restrained.

 

“Shhhh,” I said, but Stefan took the initiative. He leaned down and kissed him on the forehead. Jason just looked at him, still terrified, and then Stefan did his best to hug him. Jason looked at me and I smiled, doing the same thing. He mouthed the word “Sorry,” to us. I looked at Stefan, and a tear had rolled down his cheek. I leaned close to Jason's ear. “I know. I forgive you. You're going to be just fine. I'll make sure.” Stefan leaned forward and said something too.

 

I left instructions that he wasn't to be moved without them notifying me, and told them that I planned to have him sent to a private hospital. Then Stefan and I went to the police station. The police were reluctant to let us look at the letter, but I was persistent. What saved the day was Mike Murphy, who happened to come in off his beat. I leaned over to Stefan: “If you have time for another boy toy, there's a man in uniform for you.” He just raised his eyebrows and grinned.

 

The letter was addressed to Stefan, so Mike handed it to him. He let me read it over his shoulder.

 

Dear Stefan,

 

If you are reading this, it is probably because I have been successful at killing myself. Do not feel sorry for me; I have been in agony this past month, and the pain inside me has made it impossible for me to go on. I just can't do it.

 

But as I leave this world, I have to try and explain to you how sorry I am for the way I treated you. You were so nice to me, so kind, and I abused you, just like I was abused as a kid. It kills me to think of the pain I caused you when all you did was offer me friendship. Please please please dig deep in your heart and try to forgive me. If you do that, I die a happy man.

 

If you can, and this is asking a lot, please let JP know how sorry I am as well. I don't think he can forgive me, and I don't blame him. I love the two of you so much, and all I've done is cause you trouble and disappointment.

 

Probably the only satisfying thing that happened to me in the last month is when Jeff kicked my ass. I deserved it. I deserved worse. So where he wouldn't take things to their reasonable end, I will.

 

If there is a hell, I'll end up there. If there are windows down there, I'll be looking out them, staring at you guys, wishing you the best.

 

Love,

 

Jason

 

There were blots on the paper, blots where Jason had cried while he wrote it. And there were tears in our eyes too. The police refused to let us take the note with us, so Stefan got a paper and pencil from them and copied the letter.

 

I was about to head home when Stefan stopped me. “JP, can we please go back to the hospital?”

 

“Sure,” I said. “You're being awfully nice to someone who was so mean to you.”

 

“He wasn't always mean to me. He'd hit me with the belt JP, and it really hurt, but after he worked out his demons he'd let me down and fuck me, but not violently, he did it like a lover. It was really nice, and really sweet. That's why I put up with the other stuff.” I just nodded. I wondered if Jason's dad had done that to him. How fucked up was that?

 

We got back to the hospital and went in to sit with Jason. I left Stefan alone with him and tracked down the staff to work out a place for him to go when he was well. When I got back into the room, Stefan was gently stroking his hair and talking softly to him, while there were tears in Jason's eyes. He was more coherent than before. I nodded to Stefan and he leaned down and kissed Jason on the lips gently, not passionately.

 

I leaned down too, and he looked frightened, but I kissed him too, but only more passionately. “Remember, I taught you how to do that!” I said in his ear. Was that a smile? Hard to tell.

 

We got home and everyone else was already in bed. Stefan went into my room with me to see a really pissed off Jeff. Before he could bitch, Stefan just handed him his copy of the suicide note. Jeff read it through a few times and then handed it back to Stefan and just nodded. Both of these men that I loved so much had a hard time hating someone who had begged them for forgiveness.

 

October 8, 1963

 

The racial bullshit goes on. Sam Cooke, that guy that sang the Chain Gang song, got arrested in Louisiana for trying to check into a whites-only motel. What is wrong with those fucking people?

 

I sat in my condo all by myself. It was 7PM, and Isidore, Ace, and Betty had all retired to their rooms. Jeff was on campus. I sighed at the thought of Jeff and tried not to get upset. It had been just a little over a month since I predicted that he'd be spending all his time on campus, and he'd denied it vehemently. It had been just a little over a month since he'd whispered encouragement to me that he'd never bail on me, words that he said while he slowly made love to me. Somehow, in my twisted mind, that made them a sacred vow. And he'd broken it.

 

I was lucky if he was home three nights a week. It seemed like I lost another day every other week. He'd taken some of his clothes to the dorms, so he'd have them there “just in case.” He brought them home to do laundry, and when he took them back there always seemed to be more going back than he came home with. It was like he was slowly moving out. Isidore saw it too, and was sympathetic and comforting. I'd really grown to love her. But she couldn't really distract me, not just because she didn't have a penis, but because she was having a tough time with this pregnancy.

 

I had pledged to be understanding and patient while he dealt with the Freshman crunch, but I felt betrayed. He had made me feel like such a schmuck for raising the issue and questioning him. He made me feel like scum for doubting his love and commitment. Then he turns around and does exactly what I thought he'd do. If he would have just acknowledged this in the first place, I could have handled it. But now I was having a hard time with it. And I was lonely and horny.

 

The elevator buzzed and there was Willie, smiling at me. He'd been coming over every day or so, just to blow off steam and keep me company. I didn't feel guilty about sleeping with him because of Jeff, but I did feel guilty for sleeping with him because of Stefan. But Stefan had done to Willie what Jeff had done to me.

 

Stefan had been spending most of his spare time at the hospital with Jason, despite the urgings of all of us, including Jason himself. I had avoided Jason after that first encounter, not sure how I felt about him, not sure if I wanted him back in my life. I was really concerned about Stefan. His focus on school and Jason had taken his time away from Willie. Willie was a very sexual man, and he could go all night if he wanted to. He needed a partner to be with and satisfy his urges. If he didn't have one, it was inevitable that he would find someone else. And he had found me.

 

I put my arm around him and guided him to my bedroom. His clothes practically fell off while we headed to the bed, and he was hard as a rock before he pulled back the covers. His lust, his craving for sex, was incredibly desirable. He lay down on the sheets and I lowered my head down on his cock, gently sucking him. Even with my slow pace, it didn't take him more than a minute to blow. But he'd stopped apologizing for it. In 15 minutes he'd be ready again, and he'd last a whole lot longer.

 

I snuggled up next to him, playing with his chest and rubbing his nipples. “Thanks for letting me come over. It's been really rough since Stefan's been gone.”

 

I smiled at him. “You're thanking me? Look around. Do you see anyone else here? Jeff's on campus fucking around. He never comes home.”

 

He looked at me and ran his fingers sensually across my temples and cheek, then down my nose, then back up again. “He's been running with the football players. They talk a big game, and there are whores all around them, but he probably just parties a lot.”

 

“Yeah and there's a herd of pigs in your ass,” I said. He looked uncomfortable. “I don't really care if he wants to fuck around. What gets me is that he gave me this big speech on how he wouldn't let this happen to him, how he'd be here for me, and how we'd communicate about this shit, and he hasn't done any of it.”

 

He leaned down and kissed me. Time was up. Maybe it was the wrestler in him, but he was athletic when it came to sex. He liked to change positions a lot. I was OK with that, it added variety, but quite frankly, I'd rather just find something that worked and go with it, at least for that session. But hey, he was cute as hell, horny as hell, and he wanted me bad, so I went with it. After he blew his second load, he kissed me gently and got up, got dressed, and left. Well, I wasn't horny anymore, but I was still lonely.

 

October 10, 1963

 

I was in the student union for lunch, which was a rarity for me. The food sucked, but I was hungry and I didn't have time to go anywhere else. I was sitting there eating when I spotted a familiar looking person out of the corner of my eye. It was Jeff, sitting down for lunch with Willie. They were laughing and joking and bantering with each other. They were sitting sideways so I could see half of their facial expressions. They were totally absorbed in each other, so they didn't notice me. I watched their movements and gestures. To anyone else, it would seem like they were just friends bullshitting. But I knew Jeff almost as well as I knew myself, and I knew Willie too. They were friends, yes, but they were also lovers. I watched the interplay, and felt my anger boil. Not just at Jeff, but at Willie, who was playing me too. A nice guy would have gotten up and just left, but I'm not a nice guy.

 

I walked up to their table and they both stopped talking and looked at me guiltily. “Hey guys!” I said cheerfully. “I can't believe you eat this shit.” I said, pointing at the food.

 

“Hey,” said Jeff, feigning enthusiasm. “You gonna be home tonight? I've been busy, but I thought I might try to get back.”

 

“I've got plans tonight, but you're always welcome to come home. It's your house too.” He looked perplexed by that answer. Then I turned to Willie. “Thanks for stopping by last night. I had a blast. See you later.” And I smiled at both of them and left, smirking to myself. As I walked out I saw a very agitated Jeff interacting with Willie, although I couldn't see his expression.

 

I got back to my office and started packing up my stuff when Tom came in. He looked like shit. Cute, but like shit. “What's with you?” I asked.

 

“My roommates are out of control with the parties,” he said groggily. “I'm getting no sleep. I've got to move. Guess I'll go apartment shopping this weekend.”

 

I smiled at him. “You forgot one of the biggest perks of this job.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Free lodgings. I've got lots of extra rooms, one with your name on it. Come on; let's go get your stuff.”

 

He started to argue. “I couldn't do that, take advantage of you. That's asking too much.”

 

“Tom, you need a place to stay and I've got lots of room. I need you at your peak efficiency. Besides, you're nice to look at. So let's not play the proper social game where you tell me you can't, and I tell you you can move in. Just give in now. You're going to lose this one.”

 

He grinned at me. “So you think I'm nice to look at huh? Alright, let's go.”

 

We went over to his apartment and got his stuff. It was furnished, so the stuff was mostly clothes and books and the like. I thought it was an omen that I'd brought the Riviera today, with its big trunk. His apartment was a mess, with beer cans and empty booze bottles all over the place. When we got to the condo, I gave him the room next to mine, not Jason's old one. I wasn't sure what was going on with Jason, but I wanted to leave that one open in case he came back.

 

Betty and Isidore had already met Tom, but they were mildly surprised that he was moving in. Betty, of course, had something to say about it. “Another mouth to feed? That's even more cooking and work for me to do. I'm gonna need a raise.”

 

“OK,” I said, and made a note to jack up her pay a bit. She just stared at me like I'd grown a leg out of my head.

 

Tom had all the social skills and graces that Isidore and I had been raised with, so dinner was fun. Not that I'm big on form or anything, but it was nice to eat with someone whose number one goal wasn't to stuff as much food into his mouth as possible in the shortest time possible. What really got me was how good he was with Ace. He played with him after dinner and got some big smiles for his effort.

 

Isidore got tired early as usual, and she took Ace to bed. It was about 9PM and Tom started yawning like crazy. “I guess the whole point of you being here was to get some extra sleep, so I should let you do that,” I said.

 

“I thought I was here because I'm nice to look at.”

 

I laughed. “That too.” I stood up and so did he and he walked over to me and gave me a hug.

 

“Thanks for letting me stay here JP. It's really nice.”

 

“I think so too,” I said, conscious that neither one of us had let go. I moved my hands up and down his back and he pulled me closer in. Our friendly hug was evolving into more. My cheek was against his ear and I could smell him, and he smelled nice. Jeff and Willie always smelled of residual sweat, but not Tom. I moved my nose closer to his neck and it turned into a nuzzle, and I felt him exhale, not in frustration, but in relief, hopefully over a desire being fulfilled.

 

I moved my mouth along his cheek and onto his lips and they met for the first time. At first the kiss was tentative, gentle, and then it became more urgent and passionate, but not frenetic. With some guys it's almost a competition to see who can push harder into the other guys' face and mouth. With Tom, it wasn't like that at all. It wasn't a collision, it was a meshing, melding. I moved my hands down to his cute ass and he moved his hands up to my head, running his hands through my hair. He was sensual. I felt his cock pressing against mine, and I desperately wanted him.

 

I took his hand and led him to my bedroom. With Willie, we'd thrown off our clothes in a hurry. Tom was different. Tom took his time, taking off his shirt and pulling my mouth down to his hairless chest and cute little nipple, asking me in his own way to lick and suck on it. Then he lifted my shirt off and did the same to me. He moved his mouth down and flicked his tongue into my belly button, which tickled and made me giggle. Then he licked down my treasure trail while he unbuttoned my pants and lowered them. I felt his hands gently caress my ass while his mouth swallowed my throbbing cock. He was so erotic, so sensual, that I had to stop him after just a bit to avoid blowing too soon.

 

I pulled him up and followed his lead, excited to see what he was packing, that dick he had teased me with for so long. I dropped his pants and it sprang up in front of my mouth like it was on a spring. His dick was really interesting. It was about six inches long and pretty narrow, but had an oversized mushroom head. The perfect kind of dick to suck. I licked up and down the shaft and around the base of his head. I knew he was enjoying it because a little drop of pre-cum appeared on the tip. I licked it off and then swallowed him. He stopped me almost immediately and I giggled. I know I'm a good cocksucker.

 

I led him to the bed and collapsed on top of him, grinding myself into him. With Jeff and Willie I always let them dominate; I liked it that way. But with Tom, he let me take charge. It was a nice change. He made me feel masculine and strong; he made me feel like a man. I rubbed against him, our cocks sliding against each other, our mouths locked together, and the passion rising. When I got close, I'd slow down, bringing him up with me, getting him close, and keeping him on the edge. I was amazed at how in-sync we were sexually. We were linked and I was in control. I brought us to the edge, then backed off, then did it again. Then I backed off and gazed into his eyes, green eyes, a different green than mine, and a prettier green than mine. He had a crazed look, the look that said “God damn it make me cum!” So I did. We worked it together and came together, our first spurts acting as lube so we could slip and slide against each other for the next one and the next one, making the orgasm just that much more intense.

 

I was panting and so was he. I slid off him slightly and rested my head against his shoulder with my mouth next to his ear. “You are one amazing lover,” I cooed into his ear.

 

He turned sideways and kissed me. “Not as amazing as you. I've wanted to be with you since the first day I was in your class. You made me so hard I had to keep stopping myself from touching my dick.”

 

“I noticed,” I said. “I had to ignore you to avoid tenting in the middle of a lecture.” We just stayed in bed, talking about how much we'd enjoyed each other's bodies, until I realized I was stuck to him.

 

“Uh, I think we've glued ourselves together,” I said. That made us both giggle. I noticed that when I was with Tom we both giggled a lot. “Let's take a shower.”

 

“OK,” he said. “You can go first.”

 

“No, we go together.” And I led him into my monster shower. I used the shower as a way to explore his body, soaping up each part and rinsing him. We were both hard again in no time. I washed his cock by slowly jacking it with my soapy hands, making him moan, and then I cupped his balls and cleaned them off too. I turned him around and set my eyes on his cute ass, truly appreciating it for the first time. He had a cute little butt with round little cheeks, cheeks that were soft and cushy to the touch, cheeks that made me want to plunge my cock into him.

 

I ran my fingers down his crack, grazing his hole, and he moved back into me, begging for more. I turned him around and rinsed him while I took his cock into my mouth, then turned him back around and spread his cheeks apart. He moved his legs apart to give me better access. He had very little hair on his ass, and a cute little pucker that seemed to be winking at me. I ran my tongue around it, over it, and in it. He moaned and pressed back into me. I kept this up, the whole time feeling the water flow down his back, down his crack, and across my tongue.

 

“JP, please, please fuck me. Please,” he said urgently. He wanted it bad. I grabbed the soap and lubed my pole, pushing it up against his hole. I didn't know how experienced he was, so I went slowly. I met with tight resistance and he cringed.

 

“Tom, baby, you ever been fucked before?” I asked him.

 

“No,” he said, and actually looked embarrassed. “I want you to be my first. Please. Just fuck me.”

 

“No baby,” I cooed in his ear, irritatingly reminding myself that I sounded like Jeff did when he talked to me. “I want this to be the best for you, the best ever. I'm gonna fuck you, fuck you good, fuck you hard, but I want you to like it.”

 

I gave him a towel and we both sort of dried off then headed back to the bedroom. I got out the lube and gently started playing with his hole while I kissed his mouth, his face, his neck. I probed gently with one finger, trying to find his spot. He was so cute when I did, his whole body stiffened to match his erect cock. “Oh God,” he murmured. Then I added another finger, then another. He was writhing on the bed, moving against my fingers. I rolled him over gently, and kept on probing while I lined my cock up near his hole. I put two fingers in then pulled them out, and I know he thought I was going to return with the third finger. Instead, I slid my dick in, had it halfway up his ass before he realized it.

 

He squeezed his sphincter, more out of surprise, and then said, “It hurts.”

 

“Relax baby,” I cooed. “Let me in. Open up your hole for me. I want to plunge into your hot ass.” He moaned and pushed against me and I entered him, and then exited, giving him time to adjust. After just four times, I was in. I could tell that he still wasn't enjoying it, so I adjusted my angle until I hit his magic spot. Then I started moving in and out of him with long, smooth strokes.

 

“How does that feel baby?” I whispered in his ear. “You like the way my cock feels inside of you? You like how it feels, moving in and out of your hot ass?” He moaned, almost a moan and a cry, as he pushed back into me urgently. I picked up my pace, burying my dick in his soft little ass, plunging in and out, grinding him and his cock against the bed with each thrust.

 

“Gonna cum!” he said. “Gonna cum!” The last one was more of a yell. Then he came, slamming his ass against my pelvis and squeezing his hole, pushing me over the edge. I started shooting, slamming into him, slamming hard, and he let out a cry, a high pitched cry of ecstasy. My second orgasm of the night, but I felt like I came forever.

 

I nibbled on his ear until he turned over and kissed me. Then suddenly he got this terrified look on his face and froze. I turned around and saw Jeff standing there next to the bed with a pissed off, really pissed off look on his face, even though his pants were tenting.