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James Matthews
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08/03/2021
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you.

The Sessions - 4. Visit #4

The Sessions Visit #4

“Evening, Josh. Better weather this week then?”

“Hi Claire, yeah, it’s uh, it’s good out there.”

“Well, come in; we’re not going to get far if you stand in the doorway. Go take a seat.”

“Sure, sorry.”

“Now, where did I put my… oh yes, sorry, here it is. You know I must lose several pens a day. I don’t know where they get to. So tell me about your week.”

“Well, I have my list; here you are.”

“Excellent, we’ll discuss those as we….”

“Claire, I have a confession.”

“Well, there’s been plenty of those in here. So go ahead, I did think you were a little bit off when you arrived.”

“It’s about Kai. I saw him this week.”

“I see. Do you think that was a good idea?”

“He came to see me on the farm a couple of days ago. I was surprised.”

“Were you?”

“Well yeah, I guess. I mean, Kai is banned from coming to the farm, but he can do anything he likes as long as he stays on the public footways.”

“So, what did you do?”

“Uh,”

“I think the look on your face tells me you didn’t tell him where to go, no?”

“Sorry, I know I should have, but he called me and was smiling, and it was like the old him… you know before he got violent.”

“Josh, listen. Part of your programme here with me is to get you to a place where the demons and bad memories of Kai are displaced, faded… diminished. And by engaging with him, you are undoing that process step by step. Remember the knotted string and the stick?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“So you just added a few more knots. Anyway, now you’ve told me, what else happened?”

“Well, we talked, and he said sorry, and we chatted some more and then….”

“And then?”

“And then we had sex in the back of one of the vans.”

“And how do you feel about that?”

“The sex, or seeing him?”

“Well, both.”

“Uh, well, okay, it was a nice meeting, he didn’t get angry, and there was no violence or stuff.”

“Oh, well, Josh, that's a bonus. Don’t you see? All the work we are doing is pointless if these meetings are going to continue with Kai?”

“Yeah, I know, I just had a moment of weakness, and I shouldn't have taken it further than I did.”

“Josh, we are at a crossroads. I’m not sure who is paying for your sessions, whether you or your parents, but I am paid to treat my patients, but that treatment comes with terms when I see someone in your condition. If you see Kai again, then I cannot help you, so you need to choose what it is you want because if you choose Kai over treatment, then you are wasting your money.”

“OkOkay, okay, I get it. But, look, I want to continue with treatment.”

“Which means you cannot see Kai, right?”

“Yes, I understand. No Kai!”

“Josh, I am hard on you because I care about you succeeding. It’s your life, but people come to see me to get better. A drug addict who sees me cannot get better if he continues to take the drug. I hope you get that analogy.”

“Can we move on?”

“Sure, Josh, we can move on. So tell me, apart from meeting Kai, how have things been this week. Any changes in mood or spikes of anxiety?”

“Just when writing my list.”

“Hey, head up, we’re talking. I’m not dealing with a sulky 12-year-old.”

“Sorry, Anyway, as I said, there was some panic after I’d written down everything, but none apart from that. Obviously a little apprehensive when I saw Kai, but we’ve done that bit, haven't we?”

“Many people have the urge to fight panic, Josh. This is easier than it sounds, but you should try and accept it when you feel panic. Even treat it like a friend. Learn to be with it in the moment.”

“But why… why not fight it?”

“Because it will build faster, be more intense and take longer to pass. You need to signal to your brain that there is no danger. The best way of doing that is to let the panic go through you. Be in it, feel it, and let it pass on its way.”

“Sounds impossible.”

“Well, I’ve told you what's going on inside your body when the panic comes on. I’ve told you that you will not die, and I’ve told you that although you might have a tight chest and show symptoms of a heart attack, you are not having one. So next time you have panic, you’ll know this feeling, and you’ll know it cannot hurt you.”

“I’ll try.”

“Good, now, your list, let's see.”

“There’s just some stuff on there, I remember. Of course, there might be more, but… anyway, that’s all I could think of.”

“So, throwing you up against the cowshed for smiling at another worker?”

“Yeah, that one was a few months ago.”

“Just throwing you up against something...although that's bad enough, but did anything else happen, Josh?

“Strangled me.”

“He strangled you. For smiling at another male worker.”

“Yeah, and it was also the day he threw fertiliser in my eyes.”

“And this is the guy you met again this week? Jesus!”

“Hmm, what does this one say? I can’t read it, here show me.”

“Which one?”

“Second one down.”

“Uh, oh, that one. Yeah, he drove a forklift truck over my foot.”

“For?”

“I don’t recall. I said it would have been something because I remember that no one was there to help, and I had to call my dad.

“Did he break it?”

“My foot?”

“Yes.”

“No, but I couldn't walk on it for a few hours. Those trucks weigh more than a tonne.”

“This one here, Threatened to burn down your farmhouse with your parents and brothers inside with tractor diesel?”

“Yeah! He never did it, obviously, but it was terrifying to know that he might be judging by his acts towards me at the time.”

“Punched you in the eye for saying no to a threesome.”

“That was a bad day, he’s got some guy from the pub, I didn’t know who it was, never got to meet the guy, but he came and told me he’d got someone and I needed to take part. I said no, and he punched me.”

“Josh, these are things the Police should hear about as well as me. Now that your parents know, I strongly suggest you seek to tell when what's been happening. This is sickening abuse.”

“Claire, I just want to get well and forget about him.”

“Yes, well…”

“Please, I know, I will not let it happen again. And especially since I'm reliving this shit in my head as you read them out.”

“Me reading the list is not important. I just wanted to see if you could write them down. I wanted to see what you would bring.”

“So why… hang on, you tricked me!”

“How? I asked you to write them down and bring the list. Then, I said we would discuss them.”

“Okay yeah, you did, but what was the point of reading them out?”

“I wanted to see how you react. I could not have read them out, as I say the main purpose was you admitting what he’d done to you, and I wanted you to see it on a long list, together.”

“You get more ruthless every visit.”

“And you get better every visit.”

“So, this list, you said it made you feel?”

“Panic!”

“Remember I said some things you can’t go under or over? Well, this is one of those things. Facing your ordeal means facing the person who did it. Maybe not in person, but you saw it all written down. You felt panic for a while, but you did it. Well done.”

“That’s it?”

“You did it. You proved you had accepted it because you admitted it to yourself.”

“I feel angry!”

“And so you should, you let this person degrade you, humiliate you, scare you, beat you, talk you into things you knew were wrong. Why would you feel anything but anger?”

“I hate him!”

“And so you should. But channel that hate Josh. Hate for Hate sake is unhealthy.”

“You know he said to me once that we should get married in a couple of years; this was before all the shit happened. But, my God, can you imagine?”

“Yes, Josh, and this happens all the time, mostly to women, but mainly men. People get married to the people who they think they will be with forever. The people who are supposed to care and love them. Then they start to get beaten, and then they are trapped. They have children and stay with the person because they think they should do so for their children and get beaten more. Then they start making excuses, wearing makeup, defending the person they thought loved them. Then they try to leave, and the abuser, which they now are, says they are sorry. So sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Then the person stays thinking things will get better, but two weeks later, they are in hospital with a broken this and a fractured that. But still, they make excuses. Then they pour their heart out to a friend and take the kids, sleep on the friend’s couch, the friend telling them to leave the abuser. But then the abuser calls them, says sorry, and they go back. Things are great for another couple of weeks, and then Josh, then, in some instances, they are carried out of their house in a body bag. People like Kai are the people who show all the signs of being that abuser!”

“Wow!”

“Yeah, wow!”

“If you were trying to shock me, then it worked!”

“No, Josh, I just don’t want to see you live the trauma you did or see you in the hospital because you went back to a person, which, let’s face it is a bad apple.”

“So, where do I go from here?”

“You are free! You are free to live your life and live it well. Do you have your parents' support at home?”

“Yeah, I mean not just them, since I was outed from that Bastard, everyone has been cool. I mean, I get the odd snigger from some of the workers...I say some; it’s just a couple. But other than that, yeah. My brothers all treat me the same and ask if I’ve met anyone nice.”

“Well, now you have the freedom to move on.”

“Yeah, it was a crazy year. Maybe I just needed to see him one more time.”

“You know what? Maybe that is right, Josh. I never claim to be right all of the time, but if you say it hasn't affected you in getting through this, maybe it was the right thing for you. Maybe it was a subconscious goodbye. But, and I say this as your specialist. Do not let it happen again.”

“No, I won’t. In fact, I don’t want it to.”
“That’s good to hear. So you have the tools to cope with the panic. You’ve admitted your acceptance that the relationship was toxic and accepted the damage and trauma you have been through. These scars, Josh, may last many months even years, but you will think of them as bad memories, and your brain will store them. But, as I said a few sessions ago, soon, when you think of Kai, you will remember the good times, and the bad will not be so prevalent. That's because you have been able to separate them.”

“I hope so. So erm, I guess I'm cured, right?”

“Cured? No, Josh, this is just the beginning of your journey. Cured is the wrong word anyway. No one is ever cured of abuse. The memories will always be there, and I want you to remember that, but they may make you stronger. Call it a closing chapter, but I am serious about you thinking about pressing charges against this boy.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Your face is telling me you won’t, though.”

“Probably not.”

“Well, that is up to you as I have said, but remember that should you find your paths cross again, remember what he put you through and then take a moment to think about things.”

“Thanks, Claire; I’ll take it on board.”

“So, do you want to talk about anything else?”

“No, I think I'm okay.

“Well, we still have a little time left, but it’s up to you if you want to go, and we’ll end it there. But I will be prescribing you some new medication, so if you give me a few minutes, I will write out a script.”

“Oh, okay.”

“One second, I’ll just update your file. Okay, so I am discontinuing the Prozac, and I am prescribing Citalopram. It’s a much more modern drug, and I think it will be more effective. I’m putting you on a low dose of 10mg, but I want you to make an appointment with your GP in 3 months to discuss how it’s going. I’ll send my report to your Doctor, letting them know what I've done, and if you have any issues with this drug, please get in touch with your GP straight away. I don’t foresee any nasty side effects at the dose I am prescribing, but you will be the best judge.

“Okay, Thanks,”

“Here you go, take that to your local chemist.”

“Thank you.”

“Anything else, Josh?”

“Take some time back, Claire; call it a tip.”

“You’re a funny one, haha. Okay then, well, I’ll see you out and try to remember everything you’ve learned.”

“I will, and erm, well thanks… thanks for everything.”

“You’re most welcome, Josh. I wish you all the luck, yeah?”

“Thanks, bye then.”

“Bye Josh, safe journey home.”

Patient Notes:
Consulting Psychiatrist Claire Atkins. 4th session with Josh Fisher.
Josh has improved since our last meeting and will no longer require any further sessions. Patient has responded well to treatment. Change of medication complete. Discontinued Prozac, prescribed Citalopram 10mg for ongoing depression. Josh seems clearer and more responsive. Relapse possible if exposed to Kai, however, if no contact will continue to improve. Report sent to GP with assessment and notes attached.

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<li class='ipsMenu_item'><a href='https://gayauthors.org/story/james-matthews/the-saturday-boy/8'>8. Caught Out - Twice!</a></li>

<li class='ipsMenu_item'><a href='https://gayauthors.org/story/james-matthews/the-saturday-boy/9'>9. Suspicious Minds</a></li>

<li class='ipsMenu_item'><a href='https://gayauthors.org/story/james-matthews/the-saturday-boy/10'>10. Weekend Anticipation</a></li>

<li class='ipsMenu_item'><a href='https://gayauthors.org/story/james-matthews/the-saturday-boy/11'>11. Making Memories</a></li>

<li class='ipsMenu_item'><a href='https://gayauthors.org/story/james-matthews/the-saturday-boy/12'>12. Introducing - Roman!</a></li>

<li class='ipsMenu_item'><a href='https://gayauthors.org/story/james-matthews/the-saturday-boy/13'>13. The Deception</a></li>

<li class='ipsMenu_item'><a href='https://gayauthors.org/story/james-matthews/the-saturday-boy/14'>14. Shaun's Master Plan</a></li>

<li class='ipsMenu_item'><a href='https://gayauthors.org/story/james-matthews/the-saturday-boy/15'>15. Stepping on Troubled Times</a></li>

<li class='ipsMenu_item'><a href='https://gayauthors.org/story/james-matthews/the-saturday-boy/16'>16. Confronting the Worst Day of my Life - Part 1</a></li>

<li class='ipsMenu_item'><a href='https://gayauthors.org/story/james-matthews/the-saturday-boy/17'>17. Confronting the Worst Day of my Life - Part 2</a></li>

<li class='ipsMenu_item'><a href='https://gayauthors.org/story/james-matthews/the-saturday-boy/18'>18. Shaun Hits the Nuclear Button</a></li>

<li class='ipsMenu_item'><a href='https://gayauthors.org/story/james-matthews/the-saturday-boy/19'>19. Coming Out Of The Jungle Into The Savannah</a></li>

<li class='ipsMenu_item'><a href='https://gayauthors.org/story/james-matthews/the-saturday-boy/20'>20. Totally Wet and Full of Surprises</a></li>

<li class='ipsMenu_item'><a href='https://gayauthors.org/story/james-matthews/the-saturday-boy/21'>21. Always Getting it Wrong</a></li>

<li class='ipsMenu_item'><a href='https://gayauthors.org/story/james-matthews/the-saturday-boy/22'>22. Do I Even Wanna Know?</a></li>

<li class='ipsMenu_item'><a href='https://gayauthors.org/story/james-matthews/the-saturday-boy/23'>23. You Did What?</a></li>

<li class='ipsMenu_item'><a href='https://gayauthors.org/story/james-matthews/the-saturday-boy/24'>24. He'll Always Have Paris</a></li>

<li class='ipsMenu_item'><a href='https://gayauthors.org/story/james-matthews/the-saturday-boy/25'>25. Two Big Purchases</a></li>

<li class='ipsMenu_item'><a href='https://gayauthors.org/story/james-matthews/the-saturday-boy/26'>26. Epilogue - For All Our Saturdays</a></li>

</ul>
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This story deals with sensitive subjects such as suicide and rape. There is also bad language throughout. Reader discretion is advised.
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The Saturday Boy - 11. Making Memories

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<p> I loved this time of day - the sun starting to make its descent down behind the trees of the forest behind our clearing. A light breeze blew softly through the leaves, causing shards of sunlight to hit the stream, the edge of which I was standing around. White light hit the softly flowing water bouncing it into all the colours of the rainbow as a warm feel-good feeling came over me. </p>
<p> The warmness of the air that washed all around me leads me to close my eyes, letting the sounds of pearly flowing water and bird song sketch themselves into my mind. This was euphoric, kind, relaxing, and I could feel my soul just ridding itself of toxicity. </p>
<p> Turning around, I could see Dean and Shaun were off gathering kindling for the fire later on, while Jack was starting to unpack his tent, smiling away as he did. Me? Well, I was just taking time to absorb the relaxing atmosphere, away from the pub, my parents and everyday life. </p>
<p> I slowly walked along the stream's edge noticing how much slower the water got before it flowed into the small lake. The lake was a little sanctuary with small mud cliffs held intact by the roots of old thirsty trees that littered the edges. </p>
<p>"You look like you wanna jump in. I hope you're not thinking of suicide," came the voice of Jack, eyeing me staring at the deep blue-green water below. </p>
<p>"Are you crazy? I never feel down here; I love it," I replied, turning to meet his eyes. </p>
<p>"Yeah, I gotta say this is not what I was expecting; this place is beautiful." </p>
<p>"Yeah, it is, and it's ours," I said in a dreamy tone. "So, how is the tent going?" </p>
<p>"Fucking tents, I wonder if I were straight, it would make more sense," Said Jack, banging his forehead with the palm of his hand. </p>
<p>"Something tells me you haven't put up a tent before." </p>
<p>"Well only in the mornings in my boxers? </p>
<p>"Jack!" </p>
<p>"Sorry, i'll be serious. Anyway, Joey, I ain't never been camping, let alone set up a campsite." </p>
<p>"C'mon, little-help come and see how it's done," I remarked, collecting his shoulder with my hand and squeezing it. </p>
<p> We both walked back to the main clearing where Dean and Shaun were just returning from their mission to get firewood. </p>
<p>"Hey slackers, don't you think it's a little unfair we're doing all the graft while you and your bit of fluff are standing around," Dean shouted in what could have been a half playful tone…if it wasn't Dean. </p>
<p>"I was just about to help Jack put up the first tent, and he's not my bit of fluff, Dean." I retorted. </p>
<p>"Not yet anyway," Jack muttered as he walked past me to grab the floor sheet. I shot him a look that said not impressed before helping him lay out the sheet. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> <strong>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</strong> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> It was now that part of the day where the sun had disappeared, but it was still light. Shaun had decided to make a fire pit surrounding the hole with rocks from the stream. Jack and I had successfully got both tents up and kitted them out with sleeping bags and a tillylamp each. Dean was sorting the food and drink out. He had taken all the beer bottles over to the stream and placed them in the water, making a small dam with rocks to stop them from being dragged downstream. It was an ingenious but simple idea that guaranteed at least some cooling of our evening drinks. </p>
<p>"Do you want me to light this <em>now?</em>" Shaun asked no one in particular. </p>
<p>"Yeah, why not, the light will start to dim soon, and the temperature will no doubt drop a few degrees," I said, looking up at the now darkening sky. </p>
<p>"The weather expert strikes again," Dean remarked, walking back towards us, a long stick in his hand. </p>
<p>"Well, what are you then, farmer fucking Jones with that dog stick in your grasp? What are you going to do, herd some sheep?" Everyone laughed, except for Dean, of course. He just snarled at me, and I wondered whether the stick would soon be wrapped around my head. </p>
<p>"Anyone want a beer?" Shaun asked, wandering over to the stream. Everyone said yes, and moments later, Shaun was coming back with four bottles hanging between his fingers. "So when are we starting the food? I'm starving." </p>
<p>"My dad always said that drinking on an empty stomach was cheaper and easier on the supplies," Jack said, sniggering. </p>
<p>"Yeah, well, your old man would know wouldn't he Jack," Dean exclaimed, causing Jack to lose his grin. </p>
<p>"Fuck sake Dean, I wondered how long it would be until you upset someone," I hissed at him, annoyed. "It's okay, Jack; he didn't mean anything by it, did you, Dean?" </p>
<p>"Well, uh…no, of course not, I was just kidding around. But, anyway, Joey, Jack hates his father enough not to be offended by what I said, surely." </p>
<p>"Whether he does or doesn't, it's nobody's place to comment on stuff we don't know anything about." </p>
<p>"Joey, it's fine, honest. I'm not offended," Jack stated, cutting in on us. </p>
<p>"There, see," Dean added, gesturing his hand at Jack. I just shook my head at Dean's insensitiveness. </p>
<p>"Shaun, you been pretty quiet tonight; everything okay?" I asked, looking over at him. </p>
<p>"Me? Yeah, I'm fine, just listening to you and Dean arguing, like I always do." </p>
<p>"You sure, nothing on your mind?" </p>
<p>"Nah, I'm fine, Joey, honest. I'm really enjoying the ambience." </p>
<p>"Good, now get drinking guys, we got a lot of beer to get through, and I don't wanna take anything back home." </p>
<p>"Why not?" asked Jack. </p>
<p>"Too heavy," I smirked. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> <strong>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</strong> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> We were all relaxing into the warm evening, a gentle fire flickering orange light against the backdrop of trees around us. Dean and Jack were roasting marshmallows on the end of small sticks while Jack and I played dominoes, quietly chatting about random stuff. Dinner, which consisted of Sandwiches, cooked sausage and some chicken, had gone down a treat and everyone was content with a mix of fullness and slight intoxication. </p>
<p>"Anyone know any good ghost stories?" Dean asked, looking at the three of us. </p>
<p>"No way…please, no ghost stories," pleaded Jack. </p>
<p>"Ah, Stanton, don't tell us you're afraid of the dark." </p>
<p>"A little," he replied sheepishly. I got the feeling Dean was just about to laugh but decided against it when he glanced at me, giving him an evil look. Instead, his face went serious again. </p>
<p>"Well, we all have our phobias," Dean remarked instead. </p>
<p>"I got a good one, and it ain't that scary, Jack," Shaun said, winking. </p>
<p>"Okay, but if I grab hold of someone, it's purely for being shit scared," Jack said, grinning at Dean, Whose mouth dropped open at the comment. </p>
<p>"Go on then, Shaun, let's hear it, but I've probably heard this one before," I commented, rolling my eyes. </p>
<p>"Okay, wait, wait, wait…let me get my torch…you know, for the whole scary effect under the chin." </p>
<p>"Oh for fuck sake, Shaun," Dean said, dropping his shoulders and sighing. Shaun crawled into his and Dean's tent and came out with a baton torch and switched it on, placing it just under his chin. Again, I rolled my eyes. </p>
<p>"Ready?" Shaun asked, shifting to get comfortable, making us all do the same. </p>
<p>"We're ready," Dean and I chimed. </p>
<p>"Not really," added Jack. </p>
<p>"Okay, here we go," said Shaun, putting on an evil grin and opening his eyes wide. "There once lived an old, old woman who lived alone in the middle of the woods with her small dog, Sandy. </p>
<p>"Sandy? What kinda name is that?" Dean said, interrupting. </p>
<p>"Shhhh," We all sounded in unison. Dean just turned his lips down and put his chin in his hands. </p>
<p>"Anyway, where was I? There once lived an old, old woman who lived alone in the middle of the woods with her small dog, Sandy. Each night, just before the old woman was about to go to sleep, her beloved dog would make its way to her bedroom and get under the bed where it slept for the night. Once the woman was in bed, she would place her hand down and under the frame and wait until the dog licked her hand. It was their way of saying good night to each other. One particular night the woman had stayed up late to watch a movie on TV. After it ended, she went to bed, put her hand under the frame, and as usual, the dog licked her hand like it always did. But as she laid there trying to get to sleep, she could hear a drip, drip, drip, coming from somewhere in the house. She got up and went to the kitchen to check the tap; no dripping there. She went to the sink in the bathroom, no dripping there. All that was left was the shower. So she pulled back the shower curtain to check it and found her dog hanging upside down from the ceiling, blood dripping from its mouth. On the wall, written in the dog's blood was the words…humans can lick too, you know!" </p>
<p> We all remained silent as Shaun finished his story, it was fucking creepy, and even the sceptical, not scared of anything Dean, was sitting very still, looking freaked. It suddenly occurred to me that Jack was now practically sitting on top of me, looking petrified. I touched his shoulder to offer him a comforting hand, and he almost jumped out of his skin. </p>
<p>"FUCK!" he yelled, causing the rest of us to jump. </p>
<p>"Jeez, I'm sorry, Jack, I was just trying to…." </p>
<p>"Sorry, I just don't like those kinds of stories," Jack said, trembling lightly. </p>
<p>"It's just a story, Jack; it's not real", Shaun added, wondering if he had done the right thing by telling it. "I hope I haven't ruined your night?" </p>
<p>"Just drink more beer, Jack, then you won't give a shit about anything," came the wise words of Dean. </p>
<p> To be honest, looking around the campsite, everyone looked a bit creeped out by Shaun's story, and I wondered if it was such a good idea, Shaun, telling it, seeing as how it made Jack near on shit himself. So I got up and put some more wood on the fire, thinking that brightening up the place might make him feel a little better. </p>
<p>"So, who is up for a game of truth or dare?" asked Dean, clapping his hands together. I looked at Shaun and smiled. </p>
<p>"Dean's drunk again," </p>
<p>"Yep," Said Shaun, smirking. </p>
<p>"Why not," Said Jack. "Anything to take my mind off that fucking story." </p>
<p>"Okay, lemme grab an empty bottle… and gather round in a circle, guys," requested Dean, reaching over and pulling a bottle from the dirt. We got seated into a square, and Dean placed the bottle in the middle of us. "I'll go first as I'm the oldest." </p>
<p>"You never know, Jack might be the oldest," Shaun said, looking at Jack. </p>
<p>"When are you Seventeen Jack?" asked Dean, resting his hand on the bottle as if he was going to be correct. </p>
<p>"October sixteenth." </p>
<p>"Well, Shaun is December fourth, Joey is November ninth, and I'm September twentieth," </p>
<p>"Hey, that makes me the baby," declared Shaun, sounding disappointed. </p>
<p>"Life is hard; what can I say," replied Dean. "So here we go then." Dean spun the bottle, and we all watched as it went round and round, eventually landing on Shaun. "Hmm, Shaun…truth or dare?" Dean asked. </p>
<p>"Uh…truth." </p>
<p>"Truth, okay…uh. Oh, I got a good one. Did you let scabby Sally suck you off round the back of the bike sheds at school when you were fifteen?" </p>
<p>"Jesus Dean, you ask this every time we play this game, and for the hundredth time…no!" We all laughed at Shaun as he got agitated with the question. </p>
<p>"Okay, Shaun, your turn to spin," Dean stated, gesturing his hand at the bottle. Shaun placed his fingers on it and gave it a good spin. It came to a stop on me. </p>
<p> <em>Fuck!</em> </p>
<p>"Joey, truth or dare? </p>
<p> I sighed. "Truth!" </p>
<p>"What can I ask you? Hmm…okay, I got one. Have you ever tasted your own cum?" </p>
<p> I would have to say yes…but it was involuntary. I accidentally got myself in the mouth after a solo job in my room." </p>
<p>"At least you're honest," remarked Dean. </p>
<p>"I thought that was the idea." </p>
<p>"Just spin Joey, smartass." </p>
<p>"Okay, here I go." I span the bottle, and it landed on Shaun. "Truth or dare, mate?" </p>
<p>"I'll take truth. I don't think I'm ready for one of your dares," he said, a wry smile forming on his lips. </p>
<p>"Hmm, truth, okay. How many times have you jerked off in one day?" </p>
<p>"Oh, that's easy, six, and it was my fifteenth birthday. I have never beaten that record since." </p>
<p> We all giggled, now pretty drunk, and I passed the bottle to Shaun. He spun it, and it landed on Jack. </p>
<p>"Jack ma boy, truth or dare, buddy?" asked Shaun, slurring a little. </p>
<p>"Truth, please…No, dare, I mean. I don't trust you with a question," he said, wearing a wide grin. </p>
<p>"Our first dare…hmm, what shall I do with you?" Shaun asked, rubbing his chin with his fingers. "Show us your cock." </p>
<p>"What?" cried Jack. </p>
<p>"Show us your cock; that's my dare to you," Shaun repeated, starting to laugh. </p>
<p>"Fuck this job," Jack muttered, getting up, starting to unzip his shorts. He reached inside and pulled out his flaccid organ for us all to see. </p>
<p>"Not bad, I think?" Dean said, shaking his head. "Jesus, if you weren't gay, you could do some serious damage to a girl's snatch with that thing!" </p>
<p>"Thank you, Dean; I'm so glad you approve," said Jack, placing his dick back in his shorts. I sat there dumbfounded, a stirring in my own shorts because of what I had just seen. Jack was…reasonably well packaged, shall we say, at least six inches flaccid. </p>
<p>"Well, I'll just put it out there… I'm fucking jealous of that," Shaun remarked, putting on a sulking pose. </p>
<p>"Aww, Shaun, you ain't that small," I said, chuckling. </p>
<p>"No, not jealous of the size. I'm jealous that you get to spend the night with him and I don't," Shaun blurted out, not quite realising what he had just revealed…to Dean! </p>
<p>"Hang on, whoa…back the fuck up, Shaun…did I just hear you right?" Dean said, his voice tense. </p>
<p>"Dean, chill man, we've all been drinking here. Let's not get silly now," I said slowly and deliberately to him. </p>
<p>"Chill…are you serious? I mean, is he serious, Joey…did he just say he liked cock?" Shaun just fell on his back and started laughing, which was making Dean all the more agitated. "Shaun, man, are <em>you….</em>" </p>
<p>"Yeah, Dean, I like a bit of dick, okay. I'm sorry I didn't tell you," Shaun admitted, giggling like an idiot, while Jack and I sat silent, a serious look on our faces. I wondered what Dean was going to do. He was a loose cannon at the best of times…but drunk? Now we were in unchartered waters. I tried to calm the situation. </p>
<p>"Dean, Shaun is drunk; he doesn't know what he's saying. I think he's just trying to have a joke. Just calm down, man, let's not ruin tonight." </p>
<p>"I can't fucking believe this…I mean, Stanton, I expected, you Joey… I'm just starting to get my head around you, but Shaun…fucking hell Shaun, you as well? I feel like I'm sitting in a bag full of hard dicks. What the fuck, guys?" </p>
<p>"Dean, Joey and Shaun are still the same people. They are still your best friends," Jack said calmly and softly as if trying to soothe Dean's building temper. </p>
<p>"He's right, Dean, I ain't changed, I mean, sure, Shaun is pissed, but even drunk, he's still the same person." </p>
<p>"Why do you guys have to do this to me?" Dean hissed, but his temper was levelling off. </p>
<p>"Yeah, Dean, because we all turned out this way just to spite you…surprise!" </p>
<p>"So you both admit it then…please just don't fuck with me here, just say it…just fucking say it so we can move on. None of this, oh I'm confused shit, it's like something out of a fucking novel. Straight boy meets gay boy and eventually turns him gay, and then they… they turn other people gay and before we know it, the hole fucking universe is gay!" </p>
<p>"Wow, what a movie that would be," Jack said, smirking at Dean. </p>
<p>"Well, it's true, ain't it? You come along, Stanton, and it's like all my friends are turning <em>queer</em>. I'll be afraid to go home soon just in case I wake up and find my dad in bed with me." </p>
<p>"Jesus, fuck…not a nice picture!" Shaun cried out, bursting into hysterics. </p>
<p>"Guys, can we just mellow it out a bit please, I really don't want any of us saying something that upsets the other. So Shaun, stop winding Dean up and Dean, just live and let live, mate." </p>
<p>"I still don't believe it, Joey…I won't believe it until he wakes up sober, looks me in the eye and tells me straight." Dean declared, shaking his head. </p>
<p>"Speaking of waking up, I think we should all call it a night. It's getting on, and I'm getting chilly." I sai,d standing up, shaking the dirt, twigs and dead leaves from my clothes before moving towards the tent. </p>
<p>"Yep, I'm pretty whacked too," stated Shaun, stretching out his arms. "Do you mind if I cuddle you, Dean, while we sleep?" </p>
<p>"Shaun, that is not funny," Dean growled, skulking off towards his tent. I couldn't help but laugh at how Dean was handling this. Deep down, he knew he was safe with Shaun, and I think he was milking it for all it was worth. </p>
<p>"Good night, guys, first one up, makes breakfast, deal?" There was no response. </p>
<p> Jack followed me inside our tent once I saw Dean and Shaun get into there's. I watched as he took down the hanging tilly lamp and sparked it up, making the tent bright inside. </p>
<p>"Wow, that's a little too much light Jack, does it go lower?" </p>
<p>"Oh yeah…gimmie a sec, and I'll turn it down." He fiddled with a knob on the lamp until the tent was just light enough for us to see each other. I started to strip down to my boxers, eyeing Jack watching me as I did. The thought of his eyes all over me made me feel shy and excited all simultaneously. </p>
<p>"Are you gonna get ready for bed or just stare at me all night?" I asked him, feeling like a lab rat. </p>
<p>"Do you want me to answer that question?" </p>
<p>"Just get undressed and in your bag, you idiot, or you'll get cold." He did as I asked and started to take off his t-shirt, revealing a very tight, smooth body. Next, he unbuttoned his jean shorts before taking them off, a pair of Simpson's boxer briefs now on display. I found his fluffy blond treasure trail fascinating as I was now the guilty one for watching him. For sixteen, he was incredibly toned in all the right places. Don't get me wrong, I was still toned but didn't have as much muscle as him, but I put that down to his dancing and the weights he did at school. </p>
<p> Jack got into his sleeping bag and rested himself on his elbow, looking at me. "I know I'm a little drunk, Joey, but I just wanna say…you are one fucking fit puppy," he whispered. I was happy the Tilly lamp was so dim because as intoxicated as I might have been, it still didn't stop a rush of heat flood my cheeks. </p>
<p>"Thanks, Jack, you're not bad yourself," I said, surprising myself with the comment. </p>
<p>"You know, if someone had said I would be sharing a tent with Joey Cork just a few weeks ago, I would have laughed in their face." </p>
<p>"I'm not famous, you know, Jack." </p>
<p>"You are to me." He said as I got into the same position, facing him. </p>
<p>"I don't know what to say to that," I grinned nervously. </p>
<p>"Are you still confused, Joey, about how you feel?" </p>
<p>"Not as much as I was, but still a little." </p>
<p>"I really like you; you know that, right?" </p>
<p>"Yeah, I know that," I replied softly. </p>
<p>"Can you handle knowing it?" He asked, running his finger slowly up the underside of my forearm, making me shudder. I pulled away, nervous at the contact he was offering. My mind was on fire with every emotion under the sun. Yearning, anger, anticipation, sorrow, happiness, to name just a few, but nervousness stood out from all the rest until a feeling of calmness suddenly came over me, and I realised Jack had ever so softly placed his lips on mine, causing me to close my eyes. </p>
<p> He pulled back and stared at my face until eventually, I opened my eyes again and saw him looking at me. His face was expressionless; I imagine because he was waiting to assess my reaction. But I didn't know how to feel. All I knew is that I felt suddenly calm, still, like he had just injected a tranquiliser direct into my mind. </p>
<p>"As I said, I like you," he said again, his lips slowly turning upwards. I gently smiled back. </p>
<p>"I dunno how far…." </p>
<p>"It's not something we need to talk about, Joey," Jack said to me, lowering himself down, so he was now lying on his bicep. </p>
<p>"I know. I just don't want you to get your hopes up or anything. I'm really not sure I'm ready for anything like this." </p>
<p>"Like what?" </p>
<p>"Don't play that line with me. I know what you're up to," I said, smirking. </p>
<p>"Joey, I'm just glad I'm with you. Whatever happens, if anything, is on your terms, and that's the truth." </p>
<p>"Part of me wants something to happen, but I'm just really hoping it's not just the drink talking because that would just be cruel to both of us." </p>
<p>"Can I ask a question?" </p>
<p>"Sure," I replied, intrigued. </p>
<p>"When did you first realise that you liked me, I mean." </p>
<p>"I guess it was that day in the cellar when you put your hands on mine. At the time, I knew I felt something, but there was no box to put that feeling into, so I just brushed it off. As I've got to know you, I can now identify what I felt." </p>
<p>"Does it worry you?" </p>
<p>"Does what worry me?" </p>
<p>"The way you feel…or rather what you feel." </p>
<p>"Worry is the wrong word. I'm just scared of accepting who I might be." </p>
<p>"You mean gay or straight?" </p>
<p>"Yeah, it's like, if I give myself to a guy, I'll never know if I was really straight. But if I give myself to a girl and I don't like it, at least I'll have a better idea." </p>
<p>"Joey, forgive me, pal, you're a really intelligent person, but I gotta say that is the dumbest thing you have ever said in front of me. It doesn't work like that man; it is what it is." </p>
<p> I sighed. "Yeah, I know it sounds idiotic to put it like that, but that's how it works in my head." </p>
<p>"Kiss me." </p>
<p>"What? No!" </p>
<p>"Why not, scared you might like the feeling?" </p>
<p>"A little," I whispered. Jack smiled at me before leaning over and pressing his lips on mine again. This time, he was a little braver and pushed his tongue against my teeth, and I pulled away. "Stop." </p>
<p>"Stop as in you don't like it, or stop as in you like it more than you thought." </p>
<p>"You screw my head up; you know that, Stanton?" </p>
<p>"I'm not trying to screw your head up. I'm trying to make you realise that it's okay to like what you like." I would not admit it to Jack, but a very awake little Joey was inside my sleeping bag, pushing hard against my boxers. I swallowed hard before leaning over and slamming my lips against Jack's. It was a clumsy, sloppy wet kiss. I opened my mouth as wide as I could and let him stick his tongue in. I could taste him, a mixture of beer and mint where he had been chewing gum. His tongue was warm and gentle as he explored my mouth. So encouraged, I responded by doing the same to him. He wrapped a hand around the back of my head, pulling me into him. With the other, he stroked one of my pecks. I felt a whimper escape my mouth, muffled by the kiss we were deep in. </p>
<p> Jack broke the kiss and began nibbling at my neck with his teeth. I tipped my head back so he could get better access. He started running his thumb over my nipple, causing my breath to hitch with excitement. I had never experienced these sensations before, and I had to admit, I liked them…a lot! </p>
<p> I felt his hand on my peck began to make its way down under my sleeping back. Aware of where it was heading, I grabbed it and pulled it back out. </p>
<p>"Touch that, and I will come," I said matter of fact. The comment made Jack grin with satisfaction and a sense of accomplishment. I wasn't lying, though. I had got so excited from his different touches and kissing that I felt like I would spontaneously ejaculate there and then, with any slight movement or touch to my throbbing penis. </p>
<p>"Can I go down on you?" </p>
<p>"I'm not sure that's a good idea. I'll probably end up shooting in your mouth." </p>
<p>"That's the idea, silly." </p>
<p>"Jack, can we slow down a bit? I dunno how I'm going to feel after this is over, and I don't want you to feel I'm selfish." </p>
<p>"I get what you're saying. Feel free to experiment with your hands," Jack said, smirking. Unlike Jack, I was unsure as to what to do to him. I didn't know where to put my hands or where to start. "It's okay Joey, I'm not a china doll; you won't hurt me," Jack remarked as he watched me being overly cautious with my touches. </p>
<p> I began to gently run my hands all over his torso, making him tremble. I dragged my finger lightly down his treasure trail, making his six-pack heave with anticipation. I pulled his sleeping bag down to his knees and ran my hands up the calves of his extremely hairy legs, coated in wiry blond hair. Getting to where his boxers started, I found a sensitive spot just inside his thigh that seemed to drive him crazy. </p>
<p> His cock was pressed hard against the front of his boxers, and I could see a dark patch had appeared, telling me he was leaking a lot of pre. Again, I ran a finger up the inside of his thigh and watched in fascination as his cock twitched inside his boxers, the action exciting me even more. </p>
<p>"Wanna jerk me off," Jack whispered as I stared at the outline of his shaft move about inside his boxers. </p>
<p>"Is that okay?… I mean, I don't think I'm ready for anything else right now." </p>
<p>"Yeah, I guessed that, which is why I offered. It's okay, just take your time and do what you feel comfortable with," He said encouragingly. I got on to my knees, and with both hands, I gently tugged on the bottom of his underwear. He arched his back to make my task more accessible, and the boxers came down with ease. I left them at his ankles and just stared at his equipment. His balls were huge, much bigger than I expected, and they hung so low they were almost resting on the sleeping bag between his legs. I could see that he kept his nuts shaved, but pretty much everything else was left untouched or at the very most lightly trimmed. </p>
<p> My cock was beginning to ache because of its lack of attention. I could feel it was begging for release, but I wanted to get Jack off before I even thought about myself. If I was just about to have my first gay experience, I wanted it to end well and not be left with a feeling of regret. </p>
<p>"Take your underwear off, Joey," Jack requested as I kneeled in front of him, my hard dick now soaked with pre-cum. I did as he asked and let little Joey free, tossing my underwear to the side of the tent. Immediately a string of pre-cum started making its way from the head of my cock down onto the sleeping bag below, and Jack watched it like he was hypnotised. </p>
<p>"Jerk me, Joey, I really wanna come now," Jack whispered, almost pleading. I slowly took my hand and wrapped it around his cock. Just as I started to work him over, he took my hand off and spat into it before placing it back around his member. </p>
<p>"Ahh, you like it lubed, yeah?" I asked, and he smiled his confirmation. I began to stroke him, rolling his huge nuts between my fingers, just like I loved to do to my own when going solo. He got up and kneeled, too, so we were both facing each other. Jack placed his arms around my neck for support while I jacked his cock, now and again taking the newly delivered pre-cum and adding it to his spit for extra gliding action. I let him lean into me as his legs started to quiver, and his breathing became ragged. </p>
<p>"Lean back, Jack, I wanna see your face when I make you shoot," I said, overcome with excitement that it was me who was making him feel like this…me, the novice. We stared into each other's eyes as I picked up speed. His face was contorting with what looked like pain, but I knew it was pure pleasure. I noticed his eyes roll back into his head before he bit into my neck to muffle a loud grunt as a huge glob of hot seed came rocketing out of his cock and hit me in the face just as I momentarily looked down. The next contraction sent a slightly smaller wad splashing onto his pecks before running down to his belly button. His head remained buried in my neck as he panted hard, the final few drops being oozed out by my tight grip. My own legs were quivering, and just as he had come, I felt like electricity was passing through my own cock as it danced up and down by itself, causing me to put a hand to my mouth to stop myself from yelping. </p>
<p> I felt like I was panting as hard as he was. I was just so excited that I had made him come it made my heart race and my body tense rather than anything physical I had done. Jack slowly took his head out from within the crevice of my neck and shoulder and gazed into my eyes, his mouth starting to form into a wide smile. He leaned in again, this time his lips at my ear. </p>
<p>"That…was fucking awesome, you were awesome!" he whispered, and I felt really pleased with myself. </p>
<p>"You mean it…I mean, it was okay for you, yeah?" </p>
<p>"I haven't come that hard since...since I can't remember," he said, falling back onto his legs, entirely spent. "Fucking hell, I come shit loads, look at all that over you." </p>
<p>"Actually, half that is mine," I admitted, feeling a little embarrassed. </p>
<p>"You came?" </p>
<p>"Yeah, about when you did actually" </p>
<p>"Fucking hell Joey, we never even got started on you; how did that happen?" Jack asked, shocked. </p>
<p>"I dunno, that's never happened to me before," I declared, looking at my cock, which was still oozing its contents onto Jack sleeping bag. </p>
<p>"Damn, and I wanted to taste you too." </p>
<p>"Maybe next time, yeah?" </p>
<p>"Next time…you mean this didn't freak you out?" </p>
<p>"At first, a little, but once I let myself go a bit, it felt okay." Jack had a look of longing in his eyes before leaning forward and planting a kiss on my lips. It was more sensual than passionate this time, and even though I had shot my load, it still felt okay. </p>
<p>"Do you feel as tired as I do?" </p>
<p>"Probably," I said, yawning at the thought of sleep. I fished up my boxers from the side of the tent and tried the best I could to wipe up our mess from Jack sleeping back before it completely seeped, though. I was well aware of what cold cum felt like on the skin and didn't want him to experience it. </p>
<p>"Well, good night then," I said, getting into my sleeping bag and zipping it up, before throwing my soiled underwear in the corner of our tent. I turned on to my side and closed my eyes, listening as Jack shuffled about getting into bed himself, I imagined. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> <strong>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</strong> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> I became aware I was awake when the high pitched singing of a nearby bird rang into my ears. The light was bright behind my eyelids, and I slowly opened them, realising it was daylight. I didn't have a clue what time it was, but I sensed it was early. </p>
<p> Something else I became aware of was a feeling of skin on skin as I eyed a muscled arm draped over my side. I don't know how he did it without waking me up, but it seemed Jack had taken it upon himself to get in my sleeping bag with me at some point during the night. I could feel a flaccid cock nestled up against my ass as he spooned me. </p>
<p> I was about to get up, knowing that I would have to disturb him, before deciding I was going to lay there and experience lying naked with another guy being cuddled and concentrate on how it felt. Jack was warm against my body, and I could feel his soft breaths on the back of my neck. I sighed with contentment before interlocking my fingers in his with the hand that was draped over me. I felt him groan softly before he tried to snuggle closer to me. </p>
<p>"Morning, Joey," Came his voice, soft and hoarse. </p>
<p>"Morning Jack, you sneaky shit," I said, smirking, which he couldn't see. </p>
<p>"Sorry, I was cold," he whispered, stroking my hair. "And you looked so cute as you fell asleep I couldn't help but climb in with you." </p>
<p>"Jack?" </p>
<p>"Yeah, Joey?" </p>
<p>"I'm glad you did…this is nice." </p>
<p>"Yeah, exactly what I thought." </p>
<p>"Joey?" </p>
<p>"Yeah, Jack?" </p>
<p>"You still feel the same?" </p>
<p>"Yeah, Jack, I still feel the same." </p>
<p>"Really glad…and relieved." </p>
<p>"Relieved?" I asked, trying to turn and face him, but I was pretty locked in his grip. </p>
<p>"Yeah, I wondered if you were gonna wake up and say last night was a horrible mistake. After all, we were pretty drunk last night." </p>
<p>"Drunk as we may have been, I still remember everything we did, and no, I don't regret it. My only regret is having sex before we even had our first date," I remarked before bursting out laughing. </p>
<p>"Well, we can call this camping trip our first date if it makes you feel better," Jack said, stroking the back of my neck, making the hairs stand up on end before he started making small light kisses in the same spot he had been stroking. The contact was making me shiver in his grasp. </p>
<p> I laid there enjoying the attention Jack was giving me when we were both frozen in horror as the zip on our tent started to travel upwards. Please don't let it be Dean; please don't let it be Dean, my mind screamed. </p>
<p>"Joey, you dirty dog…did you get laid?" Shaun asked, grinning from ear to ear. I let go of the breath I had been holding and relaxed. </p>
<p>"Nice of you to barge in, Shaun," I scowled. </p>
<p>"You didn't answer my question…or shall I ask Jack. Jack, did you pop my best friend's cherry last night?" </p>
<p>"All I'm gonna say to you, Shaun is that we had fun," Jack replied, reaching around and grabbing my balls inside our sleeping bag. I flinched at the contact causing Shaun to give me a funny look. </p>
<p>"Well, I'm fucking jealous, I had to sleep with the Titanic's foghorn last night, and he is still fast asleep," Shaun said, a pissed look on his face. "Bah, I'm just torturing myself looking at you two like this, so I'll go and get breakfast started and leave you lovebirds to it." With that, his head disappeared, and the zip went back down, leaving us alone again. </p>
<p>"That just about freaked me out. I thought it was going to be Dean," I said in a panicked tone. </p>
<p>"I dunno Joey, the look on Dean's face could have been amusing." </p>
<p>"Not funny, Jack." </p>
<p>"But hey, lovebirds has a nice ring to it, don't you think?" </p>
<p>"Shut up, you big softy. I hope you're not going to go all dreamy-eyed on me already." </p>
<p>"As I said, Joey, we go at your pace, but if you want me to be honest… I've been falling for you long before we came on this trip." </p>
<p>"There's nothing I can say to that really, only that I think I might have been too and just this second realised it." </p>
<p>"Well, I'll reserve myself for you for a limited time, but after that, you'll need to make bids with the rest of the people who want me," Jack exclaimed, and I punched him on the arm. </p>
<p>"Right, I need to get up… I badly need a piss." </p>
<p>"Okay, let me unzip this thing, and I'll move out of your way." </p>
<p> I heaved myself out of the sleeping bag and made my way out of the tent, the bright sun immediately stabbing at my protesting eyes. The lingering of the night before made my head feel a little cloudy, and I felt a tad rough. Leaning against a tree of let free the liquid from my full bladder, and let out a satisfying sigh as it emptied. </p>
<p> Dean came out from his cave and stood next to me. "Hey, go find your own tree to mark," I said, grinning as I looked at my sleepy friend standing with his cock out, pissing up the trunk. "Oh, and morning wood, I see Dean, want me to jerk that off for you, be a shame to waste it." </p>
<p>"Shut it, Corky, I'll take care of it later…by myself, thank you. Besides, your new boyfriend would disapprove." </p>
<p>"He's not my boyfriend, but on that topic…how would you feel if he was one day?" </p>
<p>"Why are you asking me this Joey, what do you want me to say. Do you want me to tell you I'm happy for you? You want me to say yeah, great, knock yourself out, go for it? I'm sorry, Joey, you're just going to have to give me some time to adjust to this. It goes against everything I ever thought I knew about you." </p>
<p>"By why is it such an issue for you, Dean… it's me, Joey, the same person you have always known, no different, no change. I still love you, and you're still my best friend. But, look, I need your support right now, and I'm asking you as one of my best friends to accept me…it means everything to me that you can do that." Dean's eyes softened, and he stared at me for a moment before speaking. </p>
<p>"Firstly, I don't want you to get hurt because I know if you do, Shaun and I will have to pick up the pieces, and second I have never had to deal with having a gay friend before. So yeah, okay, I was a little bit naive to think that what James did to me was nothing to do with any gay person, and it was just my freak of a Uncle high on something needing a hole to put his dick in." </p>
<p>"I know Dean, and as I said to you, I'm really deeply sorry you ever had to go through that. But we all love you, and we wanna take care of you as our friend, and if you give Jack a chance, I'm sure you will find he'll have you back too." </p>
<p>"This is the guy who gets freaked out about ghost stories Joey." </p>
<p>"And you're the guy who gets freaked out about gay people…in your words, we all have our phobias. </p>
<p>"Yeah, well, that's different, Joey," Dean said, zipping himself up again. </p>
<p>"I dunno if it is Dean." I declared. "I know everything about you; I've seen your dick, I've seen you naked, and how many times have I ever made a move on you?" </p>
<p>"Yeah yeah, never, I know that. It's just a shock…and maybe it ain't about you being gay that angers me the most. It's the fact that when you think you know someone so well, suddenly you realise you don't know them as well as you thought." </p>
<p>"That's nothing to get pissed about Dean, it's not like I made it known to anyone… it's not like I was dropping clues that you didn't pick up on. I have to take the blame for that, not you." </p>
<p>"Yeah, maybe you're right, Joey." </p>
<p>"I know I'm right Dean, its sounds to me like you are blaming yourself for this." </p>
<p>"Maybe I do, and that's just because I feel cheated by you in a way, and I feel like a fool for not seeing this." </p>
<p>"Dean, I didn't know myself up until recently that I had feelings for Jack, so if it makes you feel any better, you wouldn't have known anything in the first place." </p>
<p>"Yeah, your right, I know, and Joey… I'm… I'm sorry okay. I'm sorry for all the crap I gave you over it." </p>
<p>"Can I have a hug?" </p>
<p>"I don't do hugs, Joey; you should know that!" he declared, looking at me concerned. </p>
<p>"Not even for your best mate Joey?" I stood and stared at him. I could see he was thinking about it until finally, he placed his hands on my shoulders and pulled me into him. I wrapped my arms around his back and held him tightly. I could feel his body jolt slightly…he was crying gently. </p>
<p>"He fucking ruined my life Joey; he violated me in a way you can't imagine." </p>
<p>"I know Dean, and I'm so sorry," I said, tapping his back with my hand consoling him. "You don't have to go through this alone. If you ever wanna just talk about it, I'm here. I'll listen; I won't judge you, and I'll always respect you." </p>
<p>"Thanks, Joey," he replied before pulling away from me and wiping his eyes. </p>
<p>"Dry those eyes, mate, you're gonna be okay," I said, smiling at him. He smiled back and walked away back to his tent and disappeared inside; I imagined composing himself before seeing the others. </p>

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<p> I try and edit my stories to the highest standard, for your reading pleasure. However if you do find any grammar gremlins or spelling sneezes please do message me on the site. I'd be very grateful to zap these out for other readers. </p>
<p> Many thanks </p>
<p> James </p>
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<p>
Great chapter! Joey finally realizing what he really feels and wants, Shaun admitting he's gay, and Dean starting to come to accept it all and start on his personal road to recovery.
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<p>
Love every chapter. Thank You for such wonderful stories!
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1 minute ago, BoyLove said:
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<p>
Great chapter! Joey finally realizing what he really feels and wants, Shaun admitting he's gay, and Dean starting to come to accept it all and start on his personal road to recovery.
</p>

<p>
Love every chapter. Thank You for such wonderful stories!
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<p>
Awww, thanks Boylove. I'm made up you're enjoying them. Thanks for the comments. I always get thrilled when people comment and post their views. It makes writing such a pleasure.
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<p>
I honestly thought you were setting us up for something the way the chapter started"<span>A light breeze blew softly through the leaves"and "I could feel my soul just ridding itself of toxicity." I said to myself oh man what is he going to do </span>to us.And then alcohol combined with truth or dare oh yeah this is not good.But it turned out great.
</p>

<p>
Speaking for myself I always remember things and it usually comes out of nowhere something triggers the memories and I say what made me think of that?For Dean to have that memory keep coming up must be pure hell he's still an ass sometimes but you have to keep considering that.
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<a href='https://gayauthors.org/stories/chapter/56930-making-memories/?do=findComment&comment=489765&tab=chaptercomments' class='ipsType_blendLinks'>Posted <time datetime='2021-08-18T20:34:29Z' title='08/18/2021 09:34 PM' data-short='Aug 18'>August 18</time></a>

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<blockquote class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote="" data-ipsquote-contentapp="stories" data-ipsquote-content data-ipsquote-contentcommentid="489764" data-ipsquote-contentid="56930" data-ipsquote-contenttype="stories" data-ipsquote-timestamp="1629317916" data-ipsquote-userid="35486" data-ipsquote-username="weinerdog">
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13 minutes ago, weinerdog said:
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<p>
I honestly thought you were setting us up for something the way the chapter started"<span>A light breeze blew softly through the leaves"and "I could feel my soul just ridding itself of toxicity." I said to myself oh man what is he going to do </span>to us.And then alcohol combined with truth or dare oh yeah this is not good.But it turned out great.
</p>

<p>
Haha, Yeah I like to keep the reader on their toes... or the edge of the seat... if I <em>can</em>. The beauty of Joey and the gang is - I can do anything I want with them. But I promise to be gentle with them (when I can.)............
</p>

<p>
........ But no promises haha <span><img alt=":P" data-emoticon="" height="20" src="//d1qgxicy0era6o.cloudfront.net/emoticons/default_tongue.png" srcset="//d1qgxicy0era6o.cloudfront.net/emoticons/tongue@2x.png 2x" title=":P" width="20" data-pagespeed-url-hash="2020382519" onload="pagespeed.CriticalImages.checkImageForCriticality(this);"/> </span>
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<p>
Thanks for the comments Weinerdog. Always great to get your thoughts and reviews.
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<a href='https://gayauthors.org/stories/chapter/56930-making-memories/?do=findComment&comment=489768&tab=chaptercomments' class='ipsType_blendLinks'>Posted <time datetime='2021-08-18T21:23:39Z' title='08/18/2021 10:23 PM' data-short='Aug 18'>August 18</time></a>

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<p>
<a contenteditable="false" data-ipshover="" data-ipshover-target="https://gayauthors.org/profile/37781-james-matthews/?do=hovercard" data-mentionid="37781" href="https://gayauthors.org/profile/37781-james-matthews/" rel="">@James Matthews</a>another great couple of chapters.
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<p>
I'm glad that the four lads all seem to be getting on and that Dean is coming to realise that what he went through was abuse and nothing to do with someone being gay.
</p>

<p>
Jack still has to come to terms with the abuse that his father is dishing out to him and his mother - it may not be a pleasant resolution (though Joey may have a calming effect on Jack now that they seem to be getting together). I can foresee Jack moving in to the pub with Joey at some point (maybe sooner rather than later).
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<p>
Shaun may be a whole other kettle of fish!
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<p>
Dean's uncle needs his karma to strike asap, for Dean's mental stability if nothing else. There's no level of hell deep enough for rapist paedophiles.
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<p>
Great story. I do like Stanton; he seems an all round great guy. Where was he when I was 17....<span class="ipsEmoji">😜</span><span class="ipsEmoji">🥰</span><span class="ipsEmoji">🤣</span>
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<p>
Wasn't James Deans uncle? I've noticed that you haven written brother in the last two chapters. So maybe you can clear that up? <span class="ipsEmoji">🤔</span> <span class="ipsEmoji">🙂</span>
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<p>
I'm glad Joey is finally starting to except that he wants to be with Jack.
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<blockquote class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote="" data-ipsquote-contentapp="stories" data-ipsquote-content data-ipsquote-contentcommentid="489770" data-ipsquote-contentid="56930" data-ipsquote-contenttype="stories" data-ipsquote-timestamp="1629322326" data-ipsquote-userid="10770" data-ipsquote-username="Canuk">
<div class="ipsQuote_citation">
38 minutes ago, Canuk said:
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<div class="ipsQuote_contents">
<p>
Dean's uncle needs his karma to strike asap, for Dean's mental stability if nothing else. There's no level of hell deep enough for rapist paedophiles.
</p>

<p>
Ok...I am a tad confused...several time in the story, Dean's abuser is referred to as his Uncle, his mother's brother than several times we have Dean's rapist as his brother...see below
</p>

<p>
<span>"Firstly, I don't want you to get hurt because I know if you do, Shaun and I will have to pick up the pieces, and second I have never had to deal with having a gay friend before. So yeah, okay, I was a little bit naive to think that what James did to you was nothing to do with any gay person, and it was just<u style="font-size:1.1em;line-height:1.3em;"> my freak of a brother high </u>on something needing a whole to put his dick in."</span>
</p>

<p>
<span>Regardless a great chapter and glad the ice has been broken on so many fronts!</span>
</p>

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<p>
I liked this chapter, I think that all the boys grew a little bit. I hope that Dean gets some professional help, he really needs it. I also hope that he tells his parents, both for his own sake and to stop this predator from hurting anyone else.
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<a href='https://gayauthors.org/stories/chapter/56930-making-memories/?do=findComment&comment=489827&tab=chaptercomments' class='ipsType_blendLinks'>Posted <time datetime='2021-08-19T06:05:57Z' title='08/19/2021 07:05 AM' data-short='Aug 19'>August 19</time></a>

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<blockquote class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote="" data-ipsquote-contentapp="stories" data-ipsquote-content data-ipsquote-contentcommentid="489773" data-ipsquote-contentid="56930" data-ipsquote-contenttype="stories" data-ipsquote-timestamp="1629323218" data-ipsquote-userid="21336" data-ipsquote-username="heifel35">
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8 hours ago, heifel35 said:
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<p>
Wasn't James Deans uncle? I've noticed that you haven written brother in the last two chapters. So maybe you can clear that up? <span class="ipsEmoji">🤔</span> <span class="ipsEmoji">🙂</span>
</p>

<p>
Yeah I saw that and was messaged. I'm on it right now <span><img alt=":)" data-emoticon="" height="20" src="//d1qgxicy0era6o.cloudfront.net/emoticons/default_smile.png" srcset="//d1qgxicy0era6o.cloudfront.net/emoticons/smile@2x.png 2x" title=":)" width="20" data-pagespeed-url-hash="1153667875" onload="pagespeed.CriticalImages.checkImageForCriticality(this);"/> Thanks for the spot.</span>
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<p>
Joey is on a quick discovery of himself and seems very quick in calmly accepting his feelings. I really like this story!!!
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<blockquote class="ipsQuote" data-ipsquote="" data-ipsquote-contentapp="stories" data-ipsquote-content data-ipsquote-contentcommentid="489775" data-ipsquote-contentid="56930" data-ipsquote-contenttype="stories" data-ipsquote-timestamp="1629324642" data-ipsquote-userid="12900" data-ipsquote-username="drsawzall">
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18 hours ago, drsawzall said:
</div>

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<p>
Ok...I am a tad confused...several time in the story, Dean's abuser is referred to as his Uncle, his mother's brother than several times we have Dean's rapist as his brother...see below
</p>

<p>
<span>Regardless a great chapter and glad the ice has been broken on so many fronts!</span>
</p>
</div>
</blockquote>

<p>
This was a typo unfortunately. I do apologise it didn't make sense. It's been corrected now. Thanks for you comments <span><img alt=":)" data-emoticon="" height="20" src="//d1qgxicy0era6o.cloudfront.net/emoticons/default_smile.png" srcset="//d1qgxicy0era6o.cloudfront.net/emoticons/smile@2x.png 2x" title=":)" width="20" data-pagespeed-url-hash="1153667875" onload="pagespeed.CriticalImages.checkImageForCriticality(this);"/> </span>
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<p>
I think I've heard that ghost story before. I remember doing something similar on Halloween when I was a teenager. The story was something about a girl going through a spooky house and finding dismembered parts of her boyfriend. Making the props beforehand was almost as much fun as inflicting them on the 'victims' in the dark.
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<p>
The camping trip so far is giving everyone a chance to talk (and do). Loved the scene with Jack and Joey in the tent, both hot and tender.
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<p>
Great great chapter James! Dean seems to be trying really hard to wrap his head around Joey (and possibly Shaun) being gay! He very well could benefit with counseling (understanding what scientific studies conclude that most pedophiles are heterosexuals). Perhaps telling his parents about dear old Uncle James could help as well !!
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<p>
Okay I am hooked. Well I have been hooked since chapter 1. However reading the first chapter I thought it was going to be Shaun or Dean being with Joey. But the addition of Jack when they got back from vacation and finding out what happened the year before WOW. That was certainly an awful thing for that girl to do to Joey.
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<p>
This camping trip was good for everyone I think they have had a lot happen in a short time after a great vacation. The ghost story that was told is one I have heard before we had an awesome reading teacher in middle school he was also a story teller and one year the day before Halloween we had a story day instead of regular class it was great he told us like 3 or 4 stories that day and this was one of them but the way it was told to us it was a girl and it was her birthday party weekend on the day of her actual birthday the family had given her a puppy and the puppy would always come to her room and lick her hand as a good night kinda thing. That weekend was her party and she was having a sleep over everyone was sleeping downstairs but since she had a bad back she had a special bed and was sleeping that night in her room. The rest was pretty much the same except the next day when she got up everyone at the sleep over was dead with the note on the wall that humans can lick hands as well.
</p>

<p>
Sorry I rambled there a bit anyway this is the 2nd of your stories I have dived into just very recently. The other The lad from Castlebay (Great story btw) I have to say I am enjoying the way you write and bring the feelings alive. Looking forward to reading more of this adventure and more of the stories you have posted.
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