Code of Silence - 3. Chapter 3

“Nick, I’m really fine, there’s no reason for anyone to be outside of my door,” I repeated for the 50th time.

“Babe, you don’t understand, these guys are really dangerous. They’ve taken hostages before. Coleman’s killed a man,” he told me as if he was breaking very scary news to a child. I wanted to scream at him and let him know that I could list from memory every single crime James Coleman had committed in life. But that was not something Nicholas Gravely could ever comprehend.

“It was probably a coincidence, there’s really no need for you to spend government money on my protection,” I pleaded. Finally, he accepted my logic.

“Okay, but you see anyone or anything suspicious happening and you call me right away, you understand?”

“Yes, I got it.”

“Alright, well I need to get back to work,” he replied. I nodded my head and said bye. After he was gone, I tried to figure out my next move. I couldn’t call or text James or anyone connected to him. I couldn’t show up there again. How the hell was I supposed to communicate with him? Was there anything to say? I laid on my bed and tried to make sense of everything. Why was he outside of my house? Shouldn’t he be off hanging out with his skanky friends, wasting his stolen money on them? A phone call startled me out of my thoughts. I looked at the screen where the word "Mom" flashed across. Fuck, the last person I wanted to talk to. My relationship with my mother was strained, to say the least. She was a master manipulator, willing to go to any length to get what she wanted, which usually involved living way above her means and spending my hard-earned money on whatever stupid thing she had her mind set on. When I was in fifth grade, she spent my bike money on a new hair dryer and make-up. After my dad passed away from a heart attack, preservation of her comfortable life was all she became concerned with, and that meant including me in her schemes. She wanted me to become a lawyer, she wanted me to date an FBI agent, and whatever she wanted she usually got. Either through tears, guilt trips, threats, or other forms of manipulation. She would never take no for an answer. She got the three-bedroom house while I got the one-bedroom apartment. And she had one thing in common with Nicholas Gravely, they both hated James Coleman equally.

I answered the phone, even though I didn’t want to, but the woman was a resilient old bat and she would not take no for an answer, so instead of enduring more phone calls in the future, I decided to pick up.

“Hello,” I answered, annoyed.

“Oliver, what is going on?” she asked in her fake polite tone of voice.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Nick just called me letting me know to keep in touch with you. He said you were in danger. And guess whose name came up.”

“Yeah, I know, I’m taking care of it,” I replied, even more annoyed.

“Are you? You understand that he cannot know you and Coleman have history, right?”

“Of course I understand that,” I replied.

“Good, don’t make me call you back about this.”

“You can forget about it now. It’s taken care of,” I replied and hung up. Both her and Nick gave me a huge headache, so I took some Advil to take the edge off, turned off the lights, and tried to get some sleep. When I woke up it was still dark outside. I laid around and tried to figure out how to get in touch with James without anyone knowing. I put on my hat and dressed up in the most unassuming outfit. It was possible that James was under 24-hour surveillance, although I doubted the state had money for that. Still, I had to take precautions. So, I caught two different buses and finally got off close to the bar. I entered and checked for James. Unfortunately, I had no luck. I got a drink and sat in a corner, hoping to God that James would decide to drop by. I didn’t mean to get drunk, but the pressure of the day took its toll on me and by my 5th drink I was loudly talking to a group of aggressive yuppies as Joe the bartender threw worried glances my way.

“You need a cab Ollie?” He asked at a certain point.

“Cab? No, I’m great Joe,” I replied slurring my words. He checked out the guys surrounding me. One of them was quite persistently rubbing my leg even though I kept pushing it off. Joe made a phone call to someone while looking at me, but my drunk brain didn’t connect the dots.

“Woah buddy, move that hand,” I nicely joked trying to once again make the annoying guy next to me piss off.

“What? I know you like it,” he whispered into my ear and all of a sudden I was hit with a feeling. What the fuck was I doing here surrounded by these sleaze balls? I tried to get up but my head was spinning, so I sat back down again. The guy now had an arm on my back and a hand on my thigh. Another one next to him was obnoxiously close to me, his strong cologne making me nauseous. Joe was busy at the other side of the bar, and I had nobody to turn to. My drunk glee was starting to turn into fear and desperation.

“Dude, get off me,” I mumbled weakly trying to get the annoying hand off my leg. But his grip only tightened.

“Don’t be silly, let’s get out of here and have some fun,” he said in the most condescending tone of voice. He got me up and held my body with him arm, while his friend pushed me from the back. I tried to say no, but nothing came out. As they dragged me outside, I felt the cold air hit my face and I knew I was in a lot of trouble—too drunk to fight them off or to yell for help.

“Please let me go,” I managed one last time. The guys just laughed. As I reflected on the fact that I was about to either get raped or beaten up, I heard a familiar voice.

“Where the fuck are you going?”

The guys turned around, forcibly taking me with them. James was two feet away, his face a mask of perfect fury.

“Look, this is none of your business,” one of the yuppies started to say.

“What the fuck did you say?” James shouted, annoyed. The guy holding me pushed me away making me fall to the ground as he prepared for an altercation. But James’ fist was quicker and stronger than what he anticipated, and he went out with just one punch. The other guy took longer, but ended up on the ground, bleeding and incapable of much movement. When he was done beating the crap out of them, James took out his gun from the back of his pants. I froze in fear, but the thought of him going back to prison woke me up.

“No!” I yelled. He looked at me, his face still engulfed in fury. “No,” I repeated more nicely, shaking my head and adding, “please.” Finally, he calmed down and put the gun away. He helped me up and walked me to his car. I felt drunk, and tired, but happy. His arms were safe and felt like home. His smell was familiar and soothed my senses. Before I knew it, I was fast asleep.

When I woke up the first thing I felt was a wave of pain, followed by the need to vomit. I took a few breathes, trying to calm my stomach down. I looked around and by the mess figured out that I was in James’ room. The door opened and he appeared, shirtless in white boxers. I took in a deep breath and tried to force my brain to make some connections and let me speak.

“Why...why am I here?” I asked. He handed me a glass of water.

“I don’t know, why are you here?” He turned the question on me. I decided to take a sip of water before getting into another argument with him.

“I came looking for you last night,” I replied honestly.

“Really? Strange cause I thought I saw you leavin’ with two yuppie assholes,” he replied, his gaze hard to read.

“I was drunk, they were creepy, okay? I didn’t intend to leave with them. I’m glad you got there when you did,” I said. He gave me the James look and I rolled my eyes at him.

“I know you came by my apartment yesterday,” I said taking him off guard. “There’s a tracking device on your car,” I replied answering his silent question. He nodded. “Nick thinks you’re stalking me to send him a massage,” I said. James gave a harsh laugh.

“Nick? You mean that shithead Gravely? Poor bastard. He doesn’t know we used to fuck?” He replied, crudely. I swallowed hard, trying to soften the pain of him lowering our past relationship to “fucking.”

“Nope, he doesn’t,” I replied looking away.

“I should’ve figured, mister fancy pants FBI agent probably wouldn’t want to date you if he knew you were white trash,” he replied. I looked at him and shook my head, then slowly got out of the bed and looked for my phone, fully intent on leaving. After I found it, I started searching for my car keys, but then remembered that I took the bus.

“Fuck,” I said to myself. James watched me amused.

“Need a ride?”

“Fuck off,” I replied and walked out of the room. I went downstairs when a wave of nausea hit me again. Instead of stepping out the door I turned to my right and entered the kitchen where I found Lainey and Jess. Lainey turned her head away from the TV for one second before returning to the latest Maury episode.

“Well, ya look like shit,” she commented still looking at the TV.

“Yeah, good to see you too Laines.” I took a seat next to Jess, who was getting a mouthful of Lainey’s cigarette smoke in her face, and I sighed with frustration. The kid didn’t even have any breakfast in front of her.

“Why don’t you go watch that in the living room, I’ll make her some breakfast,” I offered. Lainey looked at me, annoyed at first, but her laziness won over and she walked out of the kitchen happy not to have to make food. I turned the TV off and gave Jess a kiss on her head. She was a sweet little kid, somewhat slow for her age, probably due to Lainey’s antics while she was pregnant. Thinking about it made me angry, so I tried not to. I got out some pancake mix from the cupboard.

“You want some pancakes sweetpea?” I asked her and she giggled while chewing on her hand. I smiled and started putting together the mix when Caleb walked in.

“Ollie, hey,” he said surprised.

“Hey there,” I replied, smiling.

“Good to see you here,” he said genuinely. Before I could reply James walked into the kitchen.

“Why is he still here?” He asked as if I wasn’t in earshot. We both ignored him.

“So, how’s your job?” I asked, clearly referring to his legal employment.

“Same old, how about you? I heard something about you being a lawyer?”

“Yeah, just started out at a small firm. Not many clients so far,” I replied. “You guys have any blueberries?” I asked remembering how Jess liked her pancakes. Caleb handed me some while James stood in the middle of the kitchen, looking irritated as hell.

“You done with the small talk?” He asked.

“Man, I haven’t seen him in a while. What’s your problem?” Caleb asked.

“My problem is that we’re busy today. Remember?”

“I ain’t going there again if that’s what you’re talking about.” I rolled my eyes, James had a one track mind for trouble.

“This ain’t a proposition, you gotta come, you know that,” he said. Caleb sighed, just as annoyed as me.

“Whateva,” he said. “Good seeing you,” he looked at me and went back upstairs.

“Why are you still here playing house?” James asked me.

“Because someone needs to make her breakfast, and clearly you’re too busy.”

“Why are you so concerned about her all of a sudden? She ain’t your baby,” he replied, igniting a fury inside of me.

“Does it fucking matter? I’m just being nice. If you’re so annoyed by me you can leave,” I yelled at him, making Jess freeze in place.

“Sorry honey,” I said looking at her, “I didn’t mean to yell.” James clenched his jaw, still clearly annoyed with me. But he dropped the subject and left.

After I watched Jess nibble on the pancakes, I checked my phone. Five missed calls from Nick, fuck. I quickly returned his call before he started investigating my disappearance, when James walked back into the kitchen.

“Hey, yeah no I’m fine, just hanging out with Jenna,” I told Nick while James snickered. “Yeah, she picked me up. No, nothing suspicious, everything is fine. Sorry. Yeah. Okay, bye,” I replied not answering the “I love you” I just heard. I didn’t know how James would handle that.

“What?” I snapped at him as he just stood there looking at me. He took a few steps toward me, until we were inches apart.

“Don’t snap at me boy,” he said in a threatening and yet irresistible voice. I looked at his face and forgot that I was angry as hell. I gently touched his cheek.

“Will you ever forgive me?” I asked. He took a long hard look at me, something flickered in his eyes, and for a minute I had hope. But then he said the final word, “No”, and everything vanished.

He walked out the door, leaving me empty inside.