You Complete Me - 14. Chapter 14 - Breaking Point

A week and a half went by, and Jake was still getting used to a very different sort of school environment. At first, only his teammates interacted with him normally, which made the days blend together into a never-ending cycle of exclusion. Meg’s influence at Glendale High was pronounced: her circle of elites did not associate with Jake, and anyone that wanted to be on good terms with them did not associate with him, either.

Jake took it without any obvious distress, and after the first few days Meg shifted her tactics from passive-aggressive to just aggressive. Being a “victim” of Jake meant she was free to talk about him in any way she saw fit without judgment, and her sympathetic friends followed suit. No one dared to physically confront him, but for the first time in his life, Jake was getting a taste of the authentic bullying experience in the form of regular desecration of his locker, snide passing remarks, and vicious new rumors circulating about him every day.

One positive, unexpected side effect of this was Luke finally coming around. The three of them still shared AP Calculus together, which had a much-dreaded first exam the week prior. The spread of grades Mrs. Arthurs showed off was awful, but she went out of her way to commend Jake directly for being one of only a few students to ace it.

Jake sunk into his seat, burnt out on any sort of attention and wishing she just kept it to herself. Meg, who had gotten a B-minus, furiously whispered to a friend, “No way that idiot got an A without fucking her. Is there anyone he won’t sleep with?”

Everyone in that corner of the room heard what she said, and most of them snickered or seemed to agree with her. Except one. Luke, who sat on the other side of Jake and hadn’t uttered a word to him in several days, craned his head around Jake and calmly said, “You’re such a cunt, you know that?”

Meg’s jaw dropped, Jake stared at Luke in shock, and a few people even gasped. No one had ever talked to Meg Watts that way, at least to her face. Unfortunately, Mrs. Arthurs had only heard Luke in that interaction and he swiftly got detention, though he didn’t look too broken up about it.

Later that day, Jake decided to test the waters again and walked up to Luke’s table at lunch. He was sitting with a few other friends that all went silent when Jake approached, but Jake ignored them. “Sorry you got in trouble over Meg,” he said to Luke. “And well...everything else to do with her.”

Luke considered him for a moment, then his face relaxed into a lopsided grin. “You saw the look on her face? Worth it.” Jake took his old seat across from him, and just like that, they were friends again.

Jake was only partially successful at not letting things get to him. Inside, he was miserable, and before reconciling with Luke, he dreaded going to school every day. Still, he never retaliated or voiced just how hurt and betrayed he felt, because, not so deep down, a part of him felt like he deserved it. Jake had actually cheated on Meg, even if she was wrong about everything else. That alone made him doubt he was in much of a place to argue, so he just hoped she’d eventually get bored and turn her attention onto something else.

However, Jake didn’t feel guilty enough to stop sleeping with Nic.

It was the one thing that motivated Jake to continue going to school every day, since Nic refused to meet him anywhere else. Usually, they met during lunch, but then Jake started to worry that someone would notice and ask questions – or worse, follow them. So, they mixed things up by having quickies after gym in the locker room, but it was risky. As dusty and creepy as it was, Jake preferred the privacy of the empty classroom.

The sex was varied and new to Jake, and that had more to do with Nic specifically rather than the fact that it was with another male. Nic was the prickliest person Jake had ever had the pleasure of hooking up with. He had a lot of rules, some of them seemingly random or made up as they went, with most of them having to do with touch. He got suspicious any time Jake offered to do anything he didn’t get direct pleasure from, which led to Jake having to come up with excuses to do them. Nic also didn’t like being touched above the waist, or kissed, or stood over – the last one being hard to avoid since Jake was much taller. He didn’t even seem to like Jake himself half the time, prompting Jake to wonder why Nic continued to meet up with him over and over again. As easily as Nic seemed to gain and lose new lovers, it couldn’t be just for the orgasms, which their encounters always led to in one way or another.

Jake never thought too deeply about it, though. That would defeat the purpose of meeting with Nic in the first place. Nic was blissfully removed from upperclassmen politics, and he never asked about Jake’s declining social life. Jake didn’t have to think about Meg, her drama, the C-minus he got on his chemistry test, or worry about Ellie secretly drinking. They simply met up, fucked, exchanged some barely civil dialogue after, and parted ways, rarely speaking outside of the “sessions” besides a few dirty texts. It felt good and uncomplicated, which was exactly what Jake needed.

The Friday before Jake’s first game eventually crept up, and his excitement for it made it a better day than most. If there was anywhere no one would care about Jake’s personal life, it was on the rugby field. Over the last month, the ragtag band of mostly rookie players had shaped up nicely, and Jake was excited for the outcome of tomorrow evening. He’d been wired all day, something Nic reaped the benefits of during a particularly enthusiastic session.

Once finished, they rolled away from each other, panting and slow to get dressed. Jake pulled off the condom with a sigh and tossed it into a corner somewhere to join its fellow fallen soldiers. He hated condoms - the way they felt, the way they smelled, and how they made him a little numb. He’d never forgo them, but it was the one downside of this arrangement. At least Meg had been on birth control.

Knowing there was a good chance he’d get his head bitten off, Jake decided to cautiously poke the bear. “You know, condoms aren’t cheap.”

“They’re free at the nurse’s office. They have lube, too.” Nic didn’t even look at him, his eyes closed as if he were napping. He’d added little wings to his eyeliner today, making them look even more catlike than usual.

“Hm.” Jake almost bailed but decided to try again. “You ever done it without them?”

Nic’s eyes snapped open, the zen-like state he sometimes went into after sex interrupted. “Of course I have, but I’m not interested in getting eaten from the inside out by some alien disease. Least of all, for you.”

Jake snickered. “Where do you think I’ve been?”

Nic gave him a look.

“Fine, don’t answer that. I’ll have you know I get tested regularly, and so far, so good.”

“Uh huh,” Nic said, sounding skeptical.

Miffed, Jake grabbed his phone from his jeans nearby and pulled up a picture. He held in front of Nic’s face. “That’s the most recent one, right after the first time fucked.”

After getting a curable, yet embarrassing infection once, Jake had been diligent about regular screenings for several years. He’d made the mistake of confiding in Meg about this months ago, in the context of it being a funny story. Now that everyone thought he was teeming with STIs, the importance of safe sex had been on Jake’s mind a lot lately. Along with fantasizing about what sliding between Nic’s firm cheeks would feel like without a condom.

Nic lightly pushed his phone away. “Okay? What are you trying to say?”

Jake sighed, wondering if Nic was purposefully being obstinate just to hear him say it. “I was thinking – I don’t know. Maybe you get screened, too? Since I’m not having sex with anyone else. Not saying you are or aren’t, but I don’t know, we could – ”

“No.” Nic swiftly cut off his babbling and closed his eyes again.

Jake was a bit stung but tried to hide it. “Alright,” he said flatly.

Almost a full minute went by. Jake was about to start moving to get dressed when Nic asked, “Why?”

He was giving Jake a hard, searching look. Jake thought about his response carefully, sensing that the answer was very important to Nic. He settled on just honesty and shrugged. “Just feels better. Don’t know if you’ve ever stuck your dick in something, but trust me, it’s much better without a condom.”

Whatever Nic had been expecting him to say, it must have been terrible. He visibly relaxed. “I have. And I agree. I’ll think about it.”

Jake’s mind reeled at the thought of Nic topping anyone, so it took a moment for him to register the rest of what he said. “Really, you’ll consider it? Sweet.” He snuck in a quick peck on Nic’s cheek, eliciting a snarl of disgust from him. Chuckling, Jake got to his feet to begin collecting his scattered clothes.

“Why are you so cheery today?” Nic asked, still wiping away Jake’s kiss as if it had contaminated him.

“I’ve got a game tomorrow and I’m kinda pumped about it.” He pulled his shirt out under one of the desks, covered in dust, and gave it a few brisk smacks to clear it off.

“Oh.” Nic seemed to be trying to think of something sincere to say. Jake realized long ago that small talk was not his strong suit; he only spoke in snark. “Good luck, I guess.”

Jake helped himself to the wet wipes that he knew Nic kept in the front of his backpack. “No ticket required, if you’re bored on a Saturday night. It’s at six-thirty.”

“Hard pass, thanks. I don’t do sports.” Nic had his boxer briefs and sweatshirt back on and was pulling the legs of his jeans back from inside-out. The shirt went way past his best feature, which was his ass, but he seemed to like his oversized stuff.

“Just the guys that play them, huh?”

Nic gave him an exasperated look and didn’t comment.

“One of these days, I’m going to make you laugh and it won’t be because I said something stupid.”

It was hard to tell since Nic wasn’t facing him, but Jake could have sworn he saw a flash of amusement cross his features. “Doubtful.”

Jake was fully dressed and reasonably clean, and the bell was due to go off at any minute. He couldn’t resist teasing Nic a little more, though. “Is there anything you actually like, Nic? Besides sex and art, I mean.”

Nic shrugged. “Isn’t that enough?”

“I guess so, but there’s got to be more to you than that.”

He thought about it for a few seconds, then: “Fine. Oatmeal raisin cookies.”

Jake blinked at him. “Wait, seriously?”

“What’s wrong with that?”

“Like...more than chocolate chip?”

Nic nodded, his bag now over his shoulder. “Yeah, I’m not all that crazy about chocolate. Don’t we have classes to get to?” He walked past Jake towards the door.

Jake followed him, still incredulous. “You can’t just drop a bomb like that and walk away. I read somewhere once that liking oatmeal raisin is probably a sign that you’re a sociopath.”

This time he was positive that Nic was trying not to smile. “Hm, that so? Where’d you hear that, Twitter?”

“TikTok.” They had reached the point that their paths diverged in the hallway. Jake gave Nic a little wave. “Seeya, Nic.” As usual, Nic didn’t return the farewell, but he seemed a lot less sullen than usual as they parted ways.

*** 

Nic ended up having very little to do that Saturday. He had been stuck at home most of the day since Kathy was stuck at the factory for her seventh consecutive day and Amos was god-knows-where, but likely getting day-drunk with his buddies at a nearby pub. Amos worked inconsistently, usually in construction or contracting, but he mostly collected checks from the VA for a living. That left him free to do what he wanted most days of the week, and that typically didn’t involve parenting of any sort. Fortunately, that also meant Nic didn’t have to interact with him much if he timed it right.

Nic didn’t mind babysitting duty that much, though. When he was properly medicated, Joey was an easy-enough kid to handle. Nic liked his brother more than most people – or anyone, really – and if he was put in front of a screen, he was virtually nonexistent while Nic caught up on homework. He took Joey to his behavioral therapy session at noon, made lunch in the meantime, and by the time he returned from picking up his brother an hour or so later, he had run out of busywork.

“Now what, munchkin?” Nic called out to Joey, who was chowing down on a sandwich at the table. Nic wasn’t feeling hungry, so he nibbled on some chips while aimlessly sketching on the couch.

The boy considered the question for a moment. “Can you help me with a project?”

Nic got on his knees to look over the couch, his interest piqued. “Sure, what do you need help with?” He was expecting some low-level math or reading, which wouldn’t take long but at least it was something to do.

“I have to collect bugs.”

Nic tilted his head to the side. “Bugs?”

Joey went on to explain that it was part of a science fair, and his proposal had been to start a small insect collection. He led Nic back to his very messy room where he dug up a collection kit that contained a small net, some jars, pins, and various other odds and ends, along with a set of instructions prepared by Joey’s life science teacher. Judging by the pile of clothes covering the supplies it had been there for quite some time.

“When exactly is this due?” Nic asked, reading the instructions with a dubious frown. They explicitly required an adult’s supervision and signature for anything involving the kill jar or pins. Nic was sixteen - close enough – but this was going to be a lot of work.

Joey bit his lip. “Oh, Monday.”

“Monday!? Why didn’t you say anything until now?”

Joey shrugged. “I forgot.”

That was his usual response for that very common question, so Nic knew there was no point in pressing him. Sighing, he picked up the collection kit and motioned out the door with his head. “I guess it’s something to do. Let’s get on with it.”

It had grown hot and humid outside, enough so that Nic immediately regretted the flannel shirt he had been lounging around in inside. Once they’d reached the bottom of the stairs, he undid a few buttons with one hand as he rifled through the collection kit with the other. The best way to do this was probably to divide and conquer, he reasoned, handing Joey the net and a specimen jar. “Stay where I can see you and don’t mess with bees or anything, alright?”

Joey nodded as Nic’s warnings likely went right over his head, and bolted as soon as Nic finished speaking, heading off towards the small open field on the other side of the parking lot. Now that he was alone, Nic felt ridiculous holding a kill jar – and a tiny bit nervous. He knew he had to be the one handling the chemicals, but he’d much rather be chasing butterflies instead of sifting through the mud for creepy crawlies. Joey loved getting his hands dirty and all things nature-related, but Nic didn’t like bugs. At all. He’d summoned Joey to remove spiders for him more often than he’d care to admit.

He started out on his hands and knees, waving sheepishly at any passersby that gave him quizzical looks. It had rained recently, and the ground was still soft and teeming with worms. Nic spotted one, grabbed a handful of leaves to act as a barrier, and carefully scooped the wriggling creature into the kill jar, face twisted in disgust the entire time. He added a few drops of ethyl acetate to the lid of the kill jar and screwed it back on, watching with grim fascination as the worm slowly stopped moving. Jake might have been onto something with the sociopath thing. Nic shrugged and got to his feet.

Over the next half hour or so, Nic patrolled the edges of the parking lot, keeping Joey in his periphery. He saw a grasshopper at one point but lost his nerve before attempting to catch it, so it hopped away without knowing that its life had been briefly in danger. The sun climbed ever higher in the sky and sweat was rolling down Nic’s back, making him irritable. He was close to calling it and reconvening with his brother in the hopes that he’d had better luck when he saw it.

Nic had been passing under the low-hanging branches of a flowering tree when he spotted something dark under the leaves. Nic froze, then slowly pulled the branch back to eye level. He saw tiny legs move and resisted the urge to jump, forcing himself to get a better look. A fat green beetle sat nestled between the leaves; it was quite pretty, as far as beetles went, with dully metallic wings and dust-colored legs. It was perfect.

Nic was about to coax it into the kill jar with the worm when he remembered something from the project instructions: living insects were much cooler than dead ones, if possible. He had left the other, non-kill jars in the collection kit back by the stairwell, thinking he wouldn’t need them. Nic groaned, realizing that he was going to have to be brave. He murmured a quick prayer to a God he didn’t believe in and shook some nerves out.

Tucking the jar under his armpit, Nic painstakingly started shuffling the beetle into his palm with the care of dismantling a bomb. It was remarkably docile, until Nic covered it with his other hand – that’s when he felt it flap its wings wildly between his fingers and nearly crushed it out of sheer panic. He took off in a dead sprint back to the stairwell, where he practically tossed the insect into a jar.

Nic fell back onto the concrete, panting as he watched the beetle crawl around the bottom of the jar and patting himself on the back for being an amazing big brother. He looked around for Joey and felt a flutter of panic when he saw that he was no longer in that nearby field.

“Joey?” he called out uncertainly.

It was a moment before he got an answer, from behind one of the neighboring buildings. “Nic, you gotta see this!”

Nic heaved himself back up and strode in the direction of his brother’s voice. He found Joey crouched in front of some hedges, his specimen jar and net lying in the grass several feet away. As Nic approached, Joey excitedly waved at him to come down to his level. “Look!”

Even before Nic got down, he heard the mewling. Well-protected by the shade and almost completely out of sight, a disgruntled-looking cat was lying on her side beneath the hedge. At least six tiny kittens formed a writhing mass at her belly, crying and fighting for their fair share of milk.

Joey turned to Nic, his golden eyes wide and pleading. “Can we keep them?”

Nic shushed him. He didn’t want to scare the family. “What are we going to do with seven cats, Joey?” he whispered.

“Just one, then? Please?”

“They’re too young to leave the mother. And your dad’s allergic.” His brother looked crestfallen, which made Nic relent a little. “But you can start leaving food out if you want. Don’t touch them until they’re older, though.” He heard somewhere that cats rejected their young if humans touched them. Or maybe that was birds. Either way, he didn’t want to take any chances.

That seemed to satisfy Joey at least a little, and he finally left the cats alone so he could show off his real find. He’d managed to catch a large blue-and-black butterfly, which made Nic give a low whistle of approval. “Good find, munchkin.”

Joey was equally impressed with Nic’s beetle a few minutes later, oohing and aahing as he turned the jar in every direction. “It kinda looks like your eyes. I’m going to name it after you.”

What an honor. Nic shrugged, picking up their supplies. “Whatever you say. Are we done?” He was drenched with sweat at this point, his knees were caked in mud, and he desperately wanted a shower.

“But I need at least three!”

Nic waved the kill jar at him. “What about this worm?”

“Worms aren’t insects, silly.”

“Then what the f—what are they, then?”

“I don’t know. But they don’t have legs, and all insects have legs. I think.”

Nic was about to check Google for that, but he reached for a phone that wasn’t there and sighed. He’d left it back inside. “Let’s just try again tomorrow, alright? I need to make sure Mom didn’t try to reach me.”

She hadn’t, but Shiv had texted him, asking if he wanted to come over that evening for a slumber party of sorts since her parents were out all night for their anniversary. He hadn’t seen much of her recently since he spent a lot of his lunch periods with Jake, and he was starting to miss her. His mom was due to come home around five, and she loved Shiv, so he knew she’d have zero problem with him going out. He quickly responded to his friend before going to help Joey again.

They ended up running back outside for some leaves and dirt for Nic the Beetle, who now lived on Joey’s nightstand for the foreseeable future. Unfortunately, Nic had to snuff the butterfly since he wasn’t sure how to humanely keep it alive for the next few days. He felt no pleasure as he and Joey sadly watched it die in the kill jar, so perhaps he wasn’t a sociopath after all.

Nic found a wing-spreader in the collection kit, and he was carefully pinning the butterfly’s wings in place when he heard a loud bang from the kitchen.

Nic hurried over to Joey, who was holding the kill jar upside down on the kitchen counter. Nic was about to admonish him for using it without supervision when he saw what was inside and shared a triumphant grin with his brother. Joey had caught a large brown cockroach in his mini gas chamber, eliminating the need for any further excursions.

*** 

Once Joey was taken care of and occupied by his Switch, Nic finally had time to take a long shower. In a small apartment with only one bathroom and three other people, the opportunity did not present itself often. Nic loved showers; it was basically an all-purpose invention. When he was sick or hungover, a shower helped. When he was having a panic attack, he went for the shower. And most importantly, it was a convenient place to have sex. A slow smile stretched across face as he lathered up: Jake had railed him in the locker room the other day and the memory made good jacking off material. He was already getting hard, so he wasted no time.

Jake snuck into Nic’s thoughts often lately, much to Nic’s chagrin. He didn’t like the curious, fluttery sensation in his stomach every time he got a DM from the jock around noon. Nic got what he wanted out of the arrangement: discreet, regular, and no-strings-attached sex, and Jake was getting better at it each time. That’s all he ever needed. So why did he feel like something was missing? And worse, why did that feeling go away when Jake said or did certain things – like smile at him?

Yet, when Jake had asked about them getting tested, it had freaked Nic out. Implicitly, he was suggesting they be exclusive – which they’d already been, if not inadvertently. It was hard to find time for anyone else when you were fucking an oversized energizer bunny on the daily. But exchanging test results would make it official. He may as well have proposed.

Just like that, Nic started to go soft. He sighed. Now Jake was ruining his ability to get off on his own time.

That bathroom door suddenly burst open then, interrupting his troubled thoughts. “What the fuck, Joey?” he snarled, guiltily releasing his flaccid cock. Swear jar be damned.

The intruder didn’t answer, but Nic realized by the heavy footsteps on the linoleum that it probably wasn’t his little brother. He turned off the water and peaked around the curtain. He groaned when his eyes fell on his stepfather across the small room.

Amos had his back to Nic and was swaying back in forth in front of the toilet, releasing an impressive stream of urine into it – or around it, rather, since a good amount of it wasn’t making it into the bowl. Nic’s lip curled in disgust and he judged the distance to the door. He may be able to slip out without Amos noticing…

No such luck. Nic must have made some sort of noise, because Amos stopped pissing and half turned in his direction, stumbling as he moved. Their eyes locked. Amos squeezed his exposed penis and waved it at him, making a kissing sound with his lips. “What? Never seen one like this before?”

Nic’s stomach lurched. He snagged his towel off the shower railing and wrapped it tightly enough around his waist to leave marks. He all but ran out of the bathroom with soap still sliding down his back, and slammed the door behind him, pretending not to hear the raucous laughter behind it. He scanned the living room for Joey, finding him on the couch with his arms wrapped around his legs, the abandoned Switch next to him.

“Come on, we’re going to my room until Mom comes home,” Nic said flatly, quietly. It was four o’clock now, and then Amos would be Kathy’s problem. That would mean more fighting, but Nic didn’t care – he didn’t want to be in the same room as Amos right now.

Joey jumped off the couch without question, beating Nic to his room. Nic followed him stiffly, somewhere between terrified and livid, wanting to ball up or punch something. Amos was insufferable when he was on something, but he’d never done anything like that before, and Nic wasn’t prepared for how much it fucked with him. It sent him back to that day two years ago, when his face was pressed into the gravel as a rough hand pinned him down. He might have thought he was being funny, but if Amos ever did something like that to him – or God forbid, to Joey – Nic would kill him, no question.

“Nic?” That was Joey, his voice small and uncertain from his perch on the bed.

Nic knew he must have looked insane, furiously pacing back and forth in only a towel, literally shaking with rage, but he couldn’t stop. His heart was beating faster and faster, the sound of static was deafening in his ears. He knew he was spiraling, needed to just pause and try to breathe, before –

With a choked scream, Nic’s fist connected with the closest wall. The impact caused a few flecks of cheap plaster to crumble to the ground and jarred his recently healed arm to the elbow, but Nic didn’t feel it. Or anything else. The rage was gone, replaced by just cold emptiness. Almost relief. He pressed his head against the wall next to the new hole he made and let out a slow, shaky breath.

There was a long moment of silence, then Joey squeaked again, “Nic?”

Nic didn’t move right away. In a voice that was surprisingly steady, he said, “Want to paint or something until Mom comes back?”

Once Joey was occupied again, Nic texted Luke: Get ready. We're moving out tomorrow.