Come Back To Us - 49. Chapter 49

Karl still had no news about Jørgen and it was more than his mind could take.

Training or missions didn’t matter anymore. He was going to go and look for him himself and bring him back no matter what if they couldn’t do it. No one could stop him this time. He wasn’t in the mood to argue.

As he was making his way to the huge shed, he came across Arthur and Kristian. Since they stood in his way, he had no other choice than stopping in his tracks. Arthur still had that emotionless look on his face while Kristian’s blue eyes were conveying sympathy and distress although his face was grave.

“So? Have you learnt something about him?”

He didn’t like the long moment of silence that followed his question.

“Well? Yes or no?”

The two men glanced at each other knowingly.

“Yes. We have,” Kristian was the one to reply. “But it’s nothing good,” he took a deep breath before proceeding. “He will never come back, Karl.”

He didn’t understand. His mind couldn’t take in the words.

“What do you mean by "he will never come back"?” He mimicked him as he asked.

Kristian’s face became full of sorrow.

“He will never come back for he died.” He opened his mouth to speak but the words wouldn’t come out of it. “He became a prisoner of war after his plane crashed in Brittany in July 1942 and was sent to a prisoner's camp in Germany from which he managed to escape thanks to a tunnel. Yet, during his run away, as he managed to go back to Denmark, he fled for Sweden with a comrade but they never reached their destination. His body was recovered in the sea and they could identify it.”

Karl only stared at them with empty eyes. The words made no sense to him anymore.

“What have you just said? I don’t understand a single thing?” He spoke in Danish as he frowned.

Kristian looked like he was feeling guilty.

“Say it again!”

“He’s dead, Karl. He won’t come back. Never,” Kristian repeated in Danish this time.

But the words sounded so wrong, so false, so unreal.

“I’m so sorry…”

Words could be lies, but not looks.

He shook his head slowly as a sharp pain lingered in his stomach.

“No…” it came hardly above a whisper. “It can’t be true…”

“Karl…”

“Shut up!” He snapped all of a sudden. “You’re nothing but a bloody liar! He can’t be dead!”

“Karl…”

“I said shut up!” He growled.

He turned around and ran away from them. He found shelter back in his dorms, which were empty at this time of the day. His eyes had already started to become wet as he collapsed on his bed. Soon enough his pale face was soaked with tears. He punched his mattress as his whines became the only thing that could be heard. He didn’t want to believe it. But then why was he crying and whining?

Maybe this was just a bad dream, and he would wake up sooner or later…Yes…

Well, the more he thought about it the less likely it became…The pain was just too real to be the product of his imagination. He hadn’t braced himself for this. He couldn’t accept the fact he would never see him again and hear his voice.

He couldn’t stop crying. Even if his face hurt because of it, he had to shed all these tears before they destroyed him inside. He couldn’t breathe well any longer with all the snot going through his nose and had nothing to wipe it.

“Nej! Nej! Nejj!” He kept repeating desperately, followed by more whines. “Jørgen…!”

He lost track of time and he saw only emptiness surrounding him.

Why did life have to be so cruel?

Why?

Why?

“Carl?”

The voice who spoke his name was hesitant but he did hear it although drown in his own tears and darkness. The crying and whining slowly died down and he sat up as he recognized it but thought it was only his mind playing tricks on him. His heart skipped a beat as he saw him standing there. He couldn’t be a mere hallucination.

“George…?”

He couldn’t believe it. What was he doing here? Why was he here now after all this time? As he remembered how they parted last time, he couldn’t understand. No, this couldn’t be real. He must have been dreaming this. But as he didn’t know what was true or false any longer, he needed to make sure of it. He stood up from his bed and approached him with slow and careful steps. His eyes ached, but he dismissed it. He touched his cheek with a hesitant hand and was taken aback by the softness of it. It could only be real. He fell into his eyes and it seemed that his brain left his body at that moment. He couldn’t remove his hand from his cheek.

Shivers crept up his spine as George’s hand touched his, tracing it with his fingers.

“I’ve been missing you so much,” it came out as a whisper and next thing he knew their lips were melting in each other’s.

He wrapped his arms around his neck as he moaned, his eyes fluttering close. It felt too good to be true but the burning feeling in him couldn’t be a lie. He sighed when their lips parted, a string of saliva connecting their mouths. But as soon as he opened his eyes, he remembered Jørgen through those warm brown eyes.

He bit his bottom lip that was quivering but it didn’t prevent the tears from falling again. He didn’t let go of George for all that and the latter held him tightly in his warm embrace.

“Shh…I’m here. Everything will be alright. Shh…”

His legs were trembling. They couldn’t stand his weight any longer. But George was there to hold him. He dragged him back on the bed and his head fell on his lap. George ran a soft hand through his hair.

“I know what it is…” he whispered. “I’ve been through this before… You just need time to accept it, although the pain will never really fade.”

Karl could do nothing else but cry and whine as he clutched George’s trousers. Another death that he couldn’t prevent…

“It’s…It’s…my fault if he died…”

“Carl, no. It’s not. Only life is to blame for his death and all the other deaths. Life is unfair and ugly. But we can’t do anything about it.”

Karl swallowed his own snot as he didn’t want it to come out of his nose.

“If anything, it’s my fault.” He heard George sigh as silence lasted for a while. “I was a fool to let you go. I should have held you back when you wanted to leave. I regret so much behaving like a wanker. I was…just afraid of getting hurt and knowing suffering again, but it was only selfish of me. I wish you’d never have to go through this too…”

Karl couldn’t really think straight any longer, but he could still listen.

“It’s too late to apologise. You thought you could use me as you wanted, but have you ever thought about my own feelings? Leaving was the best decision I made. If I hadn’t, I would have never known Jørgen. He did love me. I felt it that night we spent together. And I rejected him because of you. And now he’s dead. So, yeah, it’s your fault!”

He started lashing out at him as he sat up.

“Carl! Please, calm down!”

“rydde af!” Clear off.

George looked genuinely hurt, but he didn’t care. He was too hurt himself.

“I’d never thought it would hurt you…I mean…You didn’t have feelings for me, did you? You just chose to play along that game of mine out of pity. You were just afraid I would try to kill myself again, am I wrong? You simply didn’t want to have to keep living with the unbearable weight of culpability on your shoulders for letting it happen, did you?”

His anger slowly died down nonetheless after hearing these words.

“I don’t know what you think about it… But love is a scary feeling, although being the best feeling in the world when you find your true other half, it seems you always pay the price of it.”

There was something weird. Something changed in him, he couldn’t help realising. He looked…much more like Mr. Hopkins. The way he talked and his behaviour… Well, he shouldn’t be surprised. They shared the same blood.

“I know it’s not the right time to say that, but I need it to get out of my chest,” he paused as he took a deep breath. “I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you, not even Nathan. No one has ever made me feel that way, I just…can’t explain it. You make me feel safe in your arms, it feels as if the war didn’t exist when you held me. Your warmth and softness are the best thing I’ve ever tasted. I even miss the way you used to make fun of me when I lost against you at chess or cards. Your smile is quite a pretty sight for my eyes. You melted all my fears away. I’ve been so afraid of losing you, if you knew how much. You’re the main reason why I’m still alive today. Even if life is awful and cruel, it’s worth living for because you became a part of mine. Everything and everyone looks so fake in this world, this reality is so bland, but the way you make me feel is the realest thing I’ve ever experienced. The whole world could be set on fire and I wouldn’t care as long as you and I could be together caring for each other. It’s taken me quite some time to figure all of this out. And now I can only say that I don’t deserve you. You deserve the best. Not someone who cannot even deal with themselves. Someone like him, if anything, I guess…”

His stomach was completely upset. His brain was short-circuiting and his vision was becoming blurry. This was too much all of a sudden for his poor heart to take. These were the best things he had ever heard. That burning feeling in him made him dizzy. He leant closer to him as a tear rolled down his face. His hand cupped his cheek again.

“Jeg elsker dig,” he said in a low voice. I love you. His thumb traced his jawline. “Du vil altid være den eneste i mit hjerte.” You will always be the only one to my heart.

He was the one to initiate the kiss this time. George kissed him back tenderly, and at that moment he knew his heart couldn’t be mistaken. Yes, Jørgen had meant a great deal to him and yes, he was glad he could meet him, and yes, the grief was still there, but George’s unexpected presence and words of love relieved it at least temporarily. He wished that moment would never end. He realised it felt like home, although he was still in his shared dorm room. It was warm, familiar, and he felt safe. He sighed as they had to part for air and he buried his head in the crook of his neck.

“I’m glad you came.”

“And I’m glad you didn’t reject me,” he said softly as he kissed his hair.

“But you can’t stay…”

War would always ruin everything unless it was over. It was ruining the only moment of happiness and comfort he could relish in. This was unforgivable.

The long moment of silence that followed confirmed what he thought. George sighed as he kept stroking his hair.

“I shouldn’t even be here.”

Karl couldn’t help clenching his jaw, although not because of him. He should be happy that they could have this kind of reunion, but being aware that soon enough he would be left alone with his grief made him want to punch the nearest wall in the room. He raised his head after a while so he could look into his eyes.

“What would you do if I died?"

It was clear in his eyes that he didn’t expect that question to be asked. The way he remained silent for too long, looking anywhere but at him, had him chew the inside of his bottom lip.

“George…”

“I’d kill myself. It may sound crazy to hear to anyone sane. But I couldn’t live without you.”

This was absolutely the last thing he wanted to happen. Just thinking about it made every bone in his body ache and his breath caught in his throat.

“This will not happen.”

George stared at him in disbelief.

“How can you be so confident about it? Look at your friend!”

His stomach ached.

“I mean, I’m sorry, I…” He sighed as he fell silent.

Karl couldn’t deny he was right, but a voice in his head told him it wouldn’t be over anytime soon. He clenched his fist as he thought about all the deaths he hadn’t been able to prevent, all those innocent people killed for what in the end? He still had no idea.

“Jørgen’s death will not be vain. I will avenge him.”

George looked at him in stupefaction.

“No, it’s madness. You’re only gonna get yourself killed. Do you think that’s what he would want?”

“That’s what I want. I need to do it. You know what I’m going through, don’t you? So let me do it. Let me choose what to do with my life.”

He didn’t want to argue with him. But he felt he could never be at peace if he didn’t keep fighting for all these innocent victims, although he was aware he couldn’t win this war on his own…

He grabbed George’s face to feel the warmth of it.

“I can’t die before this war is over. Life owes us that after everything it’s done to us,” he paused as he glanced away. “It’s too late to come back now anyway…”

George looked both moved and puzzled. He saw the disappointment in his eyes and the knot in his throat was only becoming tighter. His hands slipped from his face, caressing them with a sense of sorrow that was the consequence of his buried insecurities.

“I’m sorry for the bad decision. I know you do not like it, but…”

George shushed him with a kiss. As they stared at each other, he took his hand in his.

“No matter if the choices you make are right or wrong. As long as I am alive, I will always be there for you. I know all too well what it’s like to make bad decisions.”

Karl didn’t expect that reaction from him. He had really changed. For the first time in what seemed to be forever, his face was lightened up by a genuine smile. George smiled back, although it vanished pretty quickly and kissed him again, but it lasted longer this time as Karl kissed back. Slow, tender, intoxicating. The way it was meant to be. George was the one to grab his face as they pulled away.

“Just come back alive to me, alive, okay?”

Karl nuzzled their noses together before he captured his lips once more.

“Jeg lover.” I promise.

Their lips melted into another passionate kiss as their grip tightened onto the other. They remained like that for as long as they could, but the inevitable came too fast for Karl… They heard someone clear their throat and with a single glance Karl sighed. It was Kristian. Neither of them wanted to let go of each other because it meant danger.

“Karl.”

“Just one more minute,” he spoke in Danish. “Please, I beg you.”

It was Kristian’s turn to sigh.

“Okay.”

He left but was soon back.

“Karl. He’s got to leave now.”

Karl let out a shaky breath as he had to face reality. George said nothing and seemed to resign. The look they shared let an achy feeling lingering in the pit of his stomach.

“Why has it got to be so hard to leave you?” George asked.

“Do not ask me.”

George sealed their lips with a last kiss and he felt empty when he moved away from him.

“You’ve promised me. So keep your word.”

Karl was on the brink of tears. George was quick to leave the room. Kristian approached him and held him tight.

The moment he left, he cried like he never had before, but kept his promise in mind.

The enemy had to pay for all the horrors they had been causing.

Hello my dear readers! I hope you're all doing well on this Sunday 😊
Here you go with the following chapter, and oh my God that reunion between Karl and George was so....moving! I love that scene so much 🥰💕 I hope you enjoyed that chapter
Have a good weekend and take care ❤️