Come Back To Us - 6. Chapter 6

As each day passed, Karl and Jørgen grew closer to each other.

“You know, about last time…we didn’t mean to make you feel sad…”

“That’s okay. You can keep doing your thing every Friday night, I don’t want you to stop just because of me. I’ll have my moment of solitude, just like you.”

Jørgen looked at him with a look that said he hadn’t been expecting me to say such kind of thing.

Karl just smiled at him with such confidence that Jørgen couldn’t not be convinced.

And he was right. Because Jørgen smiled back at him. And Karl’s own smile wouldn’t leave his face. He was so glad to have him as his friend. Yet, he felt that his friendship and kindness would never be enough to stop thinking about the one he had been desperately trying to forget. Not that he wanted him to replace him. He guessed he just needed much more time to heal.

His smile eventually faded as they were still on their way to their respective classes.

Before he could reach the room he was supposed to be in, they came across a man he had never seen before. They both stopped simultaneously. It seemed he had been looking for him.

It must have been an English officer given his uniform. Tall, dark brown hair that was short and slicked backwards, blue eyes, sharp features similar to his own, a good stature, and he looked like he was the same age as Paul.

It was him. Arthur. Paul’s friend. He was sure it was him.

“Good morning. I am Group Captain Arthur Crowes.”

He probably already knew his name, so it was no use introducing himself.

“Nice to meet you.”

“I’d like to say the same thing, but given the circumstances, I’d rather not.”

Karl raised one eyebrow. He glanced at Jørgen who was still standing beside him. But he looked as puzzled as he was.

What should he say now?

The way he was staring into his eyes was even more disturbing than it was with the Danish officer. It was piercing, scaring.

Karl’s mouth opened and closed mechanically as he was glancing at Jørgen or elsewhere in the corridor every now and then.

He didn’t really like being put in such discomfort and being left there like a voiceless idiot.

He had to do or say something.

He glanced at Jørgen again, but this was between him and Paul’s friend. He guessed he’d rather not interfere.

He could just walk off, ignoring them. But if he wasn’t moving or saying anything, it meant he was waiting for an answer on his part.

“Then, I can wait till they get better to say it again,” he spoke trying to manage his best authentic English accent.

“I don’t think they are going to get better anytime soon.”

His reply was sharp. Fast. Too fast. He was quick witted. No one could deny it. He had to be to

“Just because things are not going well does not mean we cannot be polite.”

His tone was firm, unwavering, unafraid. Unkind.

He saw Jørgen looking at him from the corner of his eye. But he didn’t spare him a glance this time.

They stared into each other’s eyes intently, steadily, without even glancing away for even one second. Paul’s friend left no emotion visible on his face. It was just like with George. They would go together well.

They remained this way for a long while, so much so that it seemed it would never end. It wouldn’t be his fault if they were going to be late.

“Just because you are close to Paul doesn’t necessarily mean I want to befriend you. And you will not be given any privileged treatment, so if you don’t walk away immediately to go to your class, it’s no use coming back tomorrow.”

Karl’s mouth fell opened against his own will.

“It’s not my fault I’m going to be late.”

“I did not force you to stop, let alone to remain standing there doing nothing for several minutes.”

This guy is really…

“Come, Karl, let’s go,” he heard Jørgen tell him in Danish.

“You’d better listen to your friend.”

He could suddenly feel Jørgen’s hand on his shoulder, giving a light squeeze to it.

He kept staring into his cold blue eyes for a few more instants, before he felt his body move on his own with Jørgen’s help.

They walked past him, not caring about the consequences of what would happen if they were both late.

He replayed the small conversation in his head, his facial expression etched in his mind that it was just like if he were still standing tall before him.

He was nothing like Paul…he was his polar opposite… his mouth was still opening and closing itself mechanically. He licked his dry lips before he bit the inside of his cheek.

He had just thought that Paul’s friend would be…just like Paul himself. There was nothing more logical and natural after all, right? Or maybe he was just a totally different person with Paul… He could never know as long as he didn’t see them together…

But if he was acting that way even with Paul, then he wondered how they could have befriended each other in the first place…even if Paul was sociable with pretty much everyone…

“Don’t worry about that, I’m sure he will end up opening up to you.”

Karl glanced at his friend thoughtfully.

“He’s supposed to be Paul’s friend…I just didn’t imagine he would be like that…”

There was a moment of silence as they kept walking.

“You know, sometimes people only show what they want to. How they behave in such situation doesn’t necessarily reflect who they truly are.”

This was good material to think through.

He wasn’t sure why, but he couldn’t help thinking of George with these words in mind. He tried to shake him out of his head, but nothing would do. Oh, how he hated him for invading his thoughts just like that.

He needed time, he reminded himself.

“I’ll see you tonight,” he could feel Jørgen’s hand on his shoulder once again as he spoke.

His look lingered a bit longer on his face this time.

“Yeah, see you.”

Jørgen gave him a small but genuine smile. And they parted ways like that.

Karl felt it was going to be another long day.

*

“Tell me, do you know people from other countries? I mean besides natives from here. The lieutenant General told me there were men with different nationalities here. That means their country was invaded too…”

He looked saddened by his last sentence, and quickly he regretted his words. But they were only the truth. A truth which could neither be ignored or denied.

“Yeah…unfortunately… Well, people don’t really like to mix up in this place…but there’s this one French guy I talked to a few times. I know he’s from a small town in Normandy. I could introduce him to you if you wish. He’s not the most sociable person I’ve met. But if you talk to him, he won’t be rude and try to end the conversation as quickly as possible.”

Karl was staring at him intently. He had never met French people before, didn’t know what they were like; he had never been told about them.

“It could be nice. As long as he isn’t like Paul’s friend.”

He couldn’t forget the fact that he had completely ignored Jørgen too.

Said male smiled at him.

“No, he’s a different type of guy, you’ll see. The only thing they have in common is their blue eyes, I think.”

Blue eyes. Like his.

“How old is he?”

“Your age, I believe. His name is Jules.”

He made a kind of weird noise as he tried to pronounce the name. But he couldn’t get it right. He didn’t know anything about French words, let alone its pronunciation.

Except for the word “jaloux”.

Yeah. It was exactly the same sound. Good thing he knew that at least.

“Jul….”

“Yeah.”

That was it. He couldn’t help thinking about George again. Thinking of that evening when they had been out to the pub. When George had been so rude towards Emma. The way she had slapped him hard in the face. The way he had been stopped by a random girl when he had wanted to exit the crowded place. He wondered briefly what she had become by that time.

But above all, it was the way George had reacted when she had shown a keen interest in him.

He could have only not cared, but obviously he had. It had disturbed him greatly.

Sometimes people only show what they want to. How they behave in such situations doesn’t necessarily reflect who they truly are.

The words were ringing into his head like a drill. What if…

What if George had been only pretending to be someone he wasn’t all along? Like…his aggressive and mean side was only a way to dissimulate his pain and emotions, like it’s a way to act tough because he didn’t want to let out his vulnerability. Yet he had seen that vulnerable side of his…

He was puzzled by this new revelation. Too puzzled to pay any more attention to the world and people around him.

Could it mean…he didn’t dare consider this thought, but…

Could it mean he had cared about him? Like genuinely cared about him, even if it was only during a few instants.

He could never know. If George didn’t want to tell him what was really on his mind, well, he could never force him to.

And he would be left haunted for the rest of his life by unanswered questions which would probably end up driving him completely crazy.

He bit the inside of his cheek instinctively.

If only he knew what he was doing to him.

If only, they could forget about each other, pretend what they had had never existed.

Just go back to the way things were before they met each other.

Go back to a simpler time, with only that sweet innocence and the pleasure of ignorance.

If only.

He could repeat this in his mind a hundred times, it would never happen. He knew it.

But this was the only way he found to face his helplessness about this problem.

What would his father think of him if he knew all about it?

If only he could see him again.