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- 01/08/2023
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Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you.
If Dr. Seuss Had Written Leviticus - 1. Dr. Seuss's Leviticus
May I, may I eat a fish?
Yes, you may eat any fish,
If they have both fins and scales,
On their backs and on their tails.
So, no lobsters and no whales.
If they have both fins and scales,
You may cook them in a dish,
You may eat them if you wish.
May I, may I eat a bird?
Yes, you may eat any bird,
Almost any -- not an owl,
Not a vulture -- they are foul.
Waterfowl, though, are not foul.
I approve of waterfowl.
May I, may I eat a bug?
Yes, but never eat a slug.
Hopping bugs are all okay,
Try a katydid sauté,
Or a locust can be sweet
With some honey for a treat.
May I, may I eat a beast?
Yes, you may eat any beast
With a hoof that splits in two,
And a cud that it can chew.
So no horses and no rats,
And no camels and no cats.
Sheep are good, however big.
Never ever eat a pig.
Do not eat a creature's blood;
Pour the blood out in the mud.
Cook your meat so it is safe.
Raw meat is so very treyf.
If you get a baby goat,
And you slit its little throat,
Do not boil in mommy’s milk!
Though it is as smooth as silk,
That is a forbidden treat.
Keep the milk away from meat!
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Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you.
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