The Flamekeepers of Delta Psi Theta - 8. The Meantime.

It was like I was floating. No weight at all. Just a tiny pressure on my back. A slow melodic tone rang almost as if it was in the background. It was as if I was bathed in white light, so bright I couldn’t even see my own body. Over time I could hear more than the melodic ringing, a low rumble of a crowd, but it also felt incredibly close. If only I could move, I might be able to touch them.

“Not to worry Doc, we are never as far as it seems.”

It was like I was falling. The bright white light came into focus as a fluorescent fixture over my head. My limbs hurt, and something was wrong with my arm. I started to choke; there was a tube in my mouth. Oh god, what happened to me? One of the doctors noticed, and suddenly I was surrounded by people as the white light went out of focus again.

The clock ticked annoyingly as I tried to keep my eyes closed. Whatever they had given me had worked out of my system. I cracked my eyes open, trying to assess my situation. A ceiling fan spun lazily above me as sunlight streamed through an open window bringing the smell of fresh-cut grass and JP8 into the room.

“You gonna keep pretending to sleep so I can make a head call, or are you ready to rejoin the land of the living?”

Fucking LT.

“Ow”

The pain crashed over me in a wave, radiating from what felt like hundreds of paper cuts all over my body. It felt like I had been sandblasted after being run through a meat grinder. My arm looked like it. I moved my arm to try and see what was left when LT stopped me.

“Careful, sergeant, you gave enough blood at the checkpoint. We don't need you to rip yourself apart before everything is healed.”

“The checkpoint?”

“They are still looking through the wreckage to piece together exactly what happened, but from what we have, it seems like a Russian KH-4 and a truck bomb took out the checkpoint to post. Your crew's quick thinking raised the barriers and stopped an all-out vehicle assault. Harveson must have poured every round you had at them. There wasn’t much left by the time we got there with reinforcements.

“Where are Harveson and Becker? When can I see 'em?”

“We even found the training case with all tracers empty. Once you are ready, we even have some medals for you. You all were awarded Medals of Honor for saving the base. Hell, a few guys even called y’all a modern-day 3-man John Bassilone.”

“Where are Harveson and Becker?”

Lt looked away.

“Lt… where are Harveson and Becker?”

“Arlington. With full honors. Posthumous Medals of Honor. The works. Got a Medal of Honor for you too, as I said, and a Navy Cross for exceptional leadership…”

I stopped listening. It was as if my world had collapsed. I was falling again. There was no way I was alive when they were dead. It wasn’t fucking fair. I hid my head in the pillow until the noise of the machines around me disappeared.

“If anyone knows life isn’t fair, it should be you..” Becker whispered into my ear.

Soft rain fell outside, the deep blue of the fading sunlight giving just enough light to frame the window against the warm yellows and oranges from the candlelight around us. The light smell of roses reminded me of the path of rose petals from the door to the bed. Becker's naked body pressed tightly against mine, his wiry body hair pressing into mine as his spent cock sat still, dripping the last few drops of his load into my crack after pulling out of my aching hole.

“…So why don't you let me spoil you sometimes.”

This was it. The only night we would get like this.

“Well, if yer going to spoil me, what am I going to do for you?” I said, rolling over him and slowly working his legs up to my shoulders.

“Well, anything but spare the rod,” he said with a wink.

I leaned in to kiss this man, my love. I looked into his eyes as his mouth trembled.

“what is it?” I asked seriously, refusing to break eye contact.

Finally, his lips moved, “Novo, wake up,” Track's voice said

“5 more minutes,” I answered, burying my face in the pillow.

“We really gonna do this, big bro?”

I grunted in response, begging for those last few moments with him…

“Ok, big bro, you asked for this.”

Suddenly the blanket and sheet were torn from me, revealing my naked body.

“You are such a little shit,” I told him as I pulled my pillow from my face.

“A little shit that doesn't want Tyler to catch us asleep.”

Fuck. I stretched and cracked my joints as I slowly got out of bed.

“How long we got,” I asked him with one eye open, trying to get my eyes to adjust to the light.

“Enough time for you to throw these on,” Track told me as he threw shorts at my face.

“Good deal,” I said, slipping them on as I stood up.

Track and I stepped out of the room and stood at our door as Declan hobbled up with Jer’s help. Tyler looked at us with a smile we couldn’t quite discern. It differed from his usual menacing one; he almost looked proud of us. But pride mixed with something else.

“Declan, you could have stayed in bed; no need to strain it,” Tyler said, seeing all 8 of us standing there.

“These are my brothers, wouldn’t be right not to be with them.”

“Good fucking answer.” Tyler said before speaking to the rest of us, “Good job over the past two days. You pulled together and worked as a team. That’s exactly what we expect to see out of you. Keep that up, and you may just become a Brother. The good news is that you have about an hour before we take you for breakfast. When we get back, hopefully, I’ll have more good news for you.”

“Umm, Sir?” Declan raised his hand.

“Yeah?” Tyler said, turning back around.

“How exactly am I going to go? I don't have crutches yet?”

“Ms. Tonya will have a box for you that we will bring back. Until then, I think Ryan has something for you before we take you to campus health.”

Declan nodded, and Jer helped him back into his room while Tyler turned around. Ryan followed Declan and Jer into their room, leaving us lost in the common room.

“We got an hour; what’s the plan?” Kevin asked the group but stared fairly directly into my eyes.

“I just woke up. Did we get energy drinks back or?”

“We got them back,” Track cut me off, “but if you are willing to make, I’d like some coffee.”

“Same actually,” Travis added.

“Ok, I’ll go make a pot. I think the plan is to shit, shower, shave, and get dressed. Remember, we gotta match outfits, so let's coordinate when it's time.”

“Deal, I’ll wrangle 'em while yer gone,” Logan said, making Kevin shake his head and giggle.

“Only thing you are gonna wrangle is towels,” Kevin joked as I walked up the stairs.

I could only laugh and shake my head. These boys would use any excuse to bust each other's balls. But then Harveson, Becker, and I did that too. Hell, the whole unit did that. I could only hope it was the kind of connection where we would give each other hell, but no one else could speak ill of us.

I performed the magical ritual of brewing coffee, setting out 8 cups this time for everyone to have theirs if they wanted. As the coffeemaker gurgled away, I went back down the stairs, stopping by Declan and Jer’s room to see if Declan was ok. Ryan had unwrapped his ankle, and given how bad the sprain was, it was less bruised than I expected. Dec shot me a thumbs up, and I shot one back before heading to the showers.

Inside, the boys had already started showering and causing trouble. I quickly bent down to pull off my shorts and looked up, only to see a rather sizeable uncut slab of meat buried in a dense forest of hair. The heady aroma of musk and ball sweat filled my nostrils as I kicked my shorts off and stood back upright, my foreskin pulling back as my meat shook off its sleepiness.

“Well, good morning to you, too,” Bear said, scratching his furry chest.

“Come to watch the boys again,” I asked with a chuckle.

“And check on y'all's development,” he answered idly, pulling on his foreskin.

“That's what we are calling it?”

“Are you accusing a brother of illicit behavior?”

“Nah, just seeing a kindred spirit,” I winked.

“I just keep waiting for Logan to pay up,” he said, idly stroking his fat slab.

“He does have a face that would look good covered in cum” I said, more actively stroking.

“You know neither of you is quiet,” Logan shouted.

“And?” I joked, waving my boner at him.

“I ain't suckin’ dick till everyone gets to watch. Declan ain't here, and I don't wanna have to do a repeat performance for him.”

“How thoughtful,” Bear said, his cock throbbing in the air.

“Plus, my throat is sore, and the more I think about it, the more my bro here deserves to bury my nose in his pubes and get that piece lodged in my throat,” Logan said, putting his arm around Travis.

“Thanks bro,” Travis said, looking up at Logan while his cock quickly hardened at the thought of getting deep-throated by the muscle stud.

The energy in the showers was intensely horny, all feeling the effects of the days of exertion without release.

“So, um, Mr. Bear, how do you suggest we take care of these?” Kevin asked, his boner throbbing in the air.

“Turn the water off and circle up,” Bear said excitedly.

I had a feeling I knew where this was going. I put my arm around Track and guided him so he was standing on my left between Bear and me. Kevin took up post on my right as the other guys circled up, with Jer ending up on Bear's left. The room was so quiet you could hear a pin drop, our excited breathing shallow as not to disrupt the horny energy.

“All right, pledges, another test of brotherhood. You will use your hands to get the guys next to you off, and they will work to get you off.”

“Oh fuck yeah,” Track said excitedly, grabbing the uncut meat on either side of him,

I grabbed the base of Kevin’s throbbing meat while Apollo spit in his hand and worked his head. Kevin's hand gripping my balls while Track stroked my meat felt amazing, and I let out a satisfied grunt. Bear winked at me as he worked Track's meat, making him groan and bury his head in Bear’s massive hairy arm.

The sounds of wet slapping echoed in the bathroom as our fists, soaked with spit and precum, took care of each other. A few guys explored teasing nipples while their partner worked the cock. None of us had cum since that first day in the showers. We were all pent up, and it didn't take us long to reach the point. I could feel Kevin’s chest tighten and his grip on my cock weak as his knees buckled.

“Ah fuck me,” he shouted before spraying Logan’s feet with cum as he let loose his first load in the showers.

That set Logan and Travis off, arcing their impressive loads across the circle. I could feel my orgasm building as my vision started to blur. I could see shiny points of light around us as I forced myself to stand straight while Track and Kevin, sensing my impending blast-off, worked my cock and balls more intensely. Bear grabbed my hand and helped me work Tracks meat as my body shuttered and let loose my stream of thick seed, hitting Travis with my first shot. Track tightened his grip on my spent meat as Bear and I rocketed him over the edge, spraying his load wildly into the center, followed by Jer and Apollo. The only one who hadn't cum yet was Bear, who was panting and looked on the edge.

Track released his grip on my meat and pushed Bear’s arm above his head to bury his face, with Jer following suit. It seemed unusually bright in the room as Logan and I locked eyes, almost sharing the same thought. We moved behind Bear, feeling his body shaking, and began to grope his chest. Logan and I played with his nipples as Bear started to grunt as his breathing got even more unsteady. With a roar, Bear came, painting his thick load in wild arcs that somehow got every single one of us.

As we all came down from our sexual highs, we looked around to see the grout of the tile glowing, points of light zipping up and down the lines of grout flowing to and from where each of us stood.

“The fuck” Travis asked, “you guys seeing this?”

“It's like the grass from yesterday but different,” Jer said, tracing the points of light on the wall with his fingers.

Each step we made sent ripples across the tile, as waves of those points would stream from each footstep.

“Wait, all of you can see it,” Bear said, still catching his breath.

“Yeah. Usually, Novo makes it, but yesterday Logan, Dec, and Jer made it.”

“Ahh, so you still think it’s made individually,” Bear said quietly.

“What does that mean, made individually? Is it a collective thing?” Apollo asked

“Ahh…” Bear suddenly looked nervous, like he had said too much in his afterglow.

“You boys were supposed to be getting clean, not making a bigger mess,” Alastair joked, walking in naked with a towel on his shoulder.

“You're late,” Bear said, wanting to change the subject away from the light.

“Sorry, Teo needed a workout buddy since someone decided to sleep in,” Alastair said, staring at me with a cheeky grin.

“Well, maybe next team building, you can show them some of your tricks,” Bear said, chuckling and turning on one of the shower heads.

“Wait, this was team building?” Travis asked, “I just needed to get off, or I would go insane.”

“And that would be bad for the team,” Logan said, flicking some of Travis’s cum at him.

“Still would have preferred feeding it to you,” Travis told Logan, making him blush.

“I mean same,” I added with a wink, making Logan a deeper shade of crimson.

The light in the grout around Logan also changed, turning a pinkish hue.

“When yer ready, though,” I added, ensuring he knew we didn't want to force him.

“I see y’all made a mess, in any case. Didn't Tyler only give you an hour?” Alastair asked.

“Yeah, what time is it?” Jer asked, suddenly aware of the dangerous game we were playing.

“I'd say you have about 20 minutes.”

“Fuck” we said in almost unison before running to the shower heads.

We had to shower quickly and get some coffee before breakfast. Who knew if we would have any time when we got back? We washed each other's cum and the night's sweat off our bodies as fast as possible before throwing on a matching outfit of khaki shorts and black polo shirts with the fraternity’s logo embroidered on the chest. Black and white Adidas sneakers were in the bottom drawer to complete the look.

We all stood in our doorways, except for Declan, just as Tyler walked down the hallway. Bear, Alastair, and Tyler all shared a grin as Teo joined the 3 of them in the common room before us. Teo took the lead, and I felt the same apprehension the rest of the pledges did for the first time, not knowing what Teo would say.

“I have to say, your pledge class continues to confuse in the best way. You don’t even know each other, yet you fight for each other, and some of you are already willing to go all the way to defend each other. I can't say I understand it, but I am impressed. Today your task after breakfast is going to be more mundane. While you were on the mountain, it seems our washing machine died. So after breakfast, once all the bags from your adventure are squared away, you will head to the laundromat and finish it on campus. It should be an easy day for you. Tonight you have another trial, so enjoy your time together. Bear, Alastair, wanna get these boys fed?” Teo finished asking them.

“On it, boss,” Bear said while Tyler and Teo walked back down the hall.

“You heard the man; let's go,” Alastair said as Bear led the way up the stairs.

As we walked to the commons, it was clear that the campus had more students than before. More people were moving into their dorms and getting things set before classes started causing a buzz of activity as they went about. People were putting out signs for sanctioned activities on the campus greens and student centers. One that caught my attention was that the campus gym would be ready to open tomorrow. We made our way through the rest of the students, most of whom I had a decade on in age, and I felt like I stuck out like a sore thumb.

“You ok?” Track asked me.

“Yeah, just acutely aware of my age,” I answered quietly.

“Fuck ‘em, man, who gives a shit. We don’t. Who else gets to march with a war hero?” Jer said behind me.

“Seriously man, yer our pledge class dad. Fuck them if they don't like it,” Track added, “plus yer my big bro.”

All I could do was smile back. It felt good to know my pledge brothers had my back, even if they didn't know the whole story. If my brain would keep being an asshole to me, at least my bros could remind me it's a liar sometimes. When we got to the commons, the line was longer than usual. It took us almost 10 minutes to reach Miss Tonya, sitting at her register.

“So how did they do,” she asked as Bear scanned his ID.

“They would have made you proud,” he roared so loud I could hear even in the back of the group.

“Well, let's get them in quickly then,” she said, ushering us through her line.

Track and I brought up the rear as we all moved through the turnstile to get breakfast.

“Looks like you are missing one, Sergeant,” she said as she took my ID.

“I was told you have a to-go box for him,” I responded with a smile.

“I do, but I don’t like my boys coming back broken.”

“Neither do I, Miss Tonya. I’ll work on that,” I said, trying to stay calm.

“I have a feeling all of you boys will be right as rain when you get back,” she said, handing back my ID.

“I don't know, it looked like a pretty bad sprain,” I said, taking my ID and putting it in my pocket.

“I'm sure it was, but you boys are different now. Especially you, going from uncertainty if you were crazy to now knowing you can do what you can do. Who knows what he can do too?” She said with a wink. “Now, get a move on; I'm sure you are hungrier than you think.”

How is that possible? How did she know what we saw? How is it possible she could know what we experienced on the mountain? My thoughts raced as I moved down the line loading my plates with more food than I thought I could eat. I wasn’t sure how to process everything from the last 30 minutes.

“Novo, you ok?” Kevin asked, finally realizing I had been eating in silence.

“Yeah, I'm good, I think,” I got out between shoveling food into my mouth.

“You are eating like Track does,” Apollo added with a chuckle, seeing both our overloaded plates.

“They might have the right idea, though. I’m still starving,” Jer said,

“Same,” Logan added, “my macros are going to be all fucked, but I'm getting more.”

The pile of eggs and hash browns in front of me got smaller, but my stomach remained as if I hadn’t eaten anything.

“Told you that you boys were going to be hungry,” Miss Tonya said, walking past us.

I had to smile a bit. Sure, I had no idea what she knew or how she knew, but she was taking care of us in her own way. It was the same way my mom ensured I had enough to eat and made as safe a space for me as she and Anton could.

Track finally looked up from his food, “What did she say?”

“You look skinny; eat some more,” Bear said, barely holding back his laugh at his joke.

“Don't mind if I do,” Track said, grabbing his plate for more food.

“Oh to have that young metabolism again,” I said, shoveling another forkful of potatoes into my mouth.

“Yeah, I have a feeling yours is going to speed up there, Novo,” Bear said, sipping his orange juice.

Despite my anxiety about the whole situation, everything felt very normal. Almost as if nothing had changed on top of the mountain, as if we hadn’t proven that we could do something impossible and summon light. I could feel a warmth inside me, reminding me I could make my memories physical and protect against the shadows; who knew what other impossible things we could now do?

“Novo, come back to me, bro,” Bear said.

Logan, Track, Travis, Apollo, and Kevin formed a tight circle while Jer cleaned our table.

“What happened?”

“Your mind drifted, and we didn't want to make a show,” Bear said quietly.

Miss Tonya forced her way between the other guys, “Novo, why don't you make sure Declan gets these” forcing two styrofoam containers into my hands.

“Good idea, let's make our way back if we are done guys,” Bear said, seeing our table was mostly cleaned up.

I carried the to-go containers, confused as we were shepherded out of the commons. Bear walked next to me while the rest of the pledges walked in front of us with Alastair at the head of the pack.

“I need you to pay more attention around other people, bro,” Bear said quietly when we were out of the crowd.

“What do you mean?” I asked, confused.

“Well, I need you focused because…” Bear trailed off, staring into my eyes.

The distance between the other pledges and us grew as Bear stood dumbfounded. I could almost see his dark brown eyes growing a golden tint as it felt like he was staring into my soul. Finally, he grabbed my shoulder.

“Like I was saying, I need you focused. You got a lot going on in that head of yours, and we don't need you taking your eye off the prize, brother,” he said with his arm around me as we caught up to the rest of the pledges.

“I mean, I don't think we ate dinner; that might explain it,” Jer said

“Or whatever we unlocked up there is a black hole we need to feed with crappy cafeteria food. I don't even know where to start on fixing my macros,” Logan said back.

“Why don't you boys worry about unpacking those bags and getting ready for classes?” Bear scolded as we walked up to the garage.

Someone else was laying all the bags out as Alastair fist-bumped Nick.

“Bro, you are walking!” Jer screamed as Declan came out from behind Teo's truck.

“Craziest thing! Ryan came in to check on me. He had me point my toe, then my ankle popped, and the pain just left. He told me to be easy on it, but I should be good to go if I don't have too many issues.” Declan said as the guys circled up around him.

“Well then, miracle boy, you want some food?” I said, happy to see him up but not fully understanding.

“I’m fucking starved,” he said, grabbing the containers from me.

“Hey Novo, come with me a sec,” Bear called while opening the door for Declan.

Teo and Ryan stood at the kitchen counter sipping coffee as I followed Bear like a lost puppy, and Declan carried his food excitedly.

“BEAR! How did the kiddos do at breakfast?” Teo asked, handing Declan a fork without acknowledging us.

“Good, they are gonna try and upset Miss Tonya's food plan as our pledges usually do. But this one here might need a bit of help pumping the brakes,” he said, putting his hands on my shoulders.

“Really? We never had to before the end of hell week before. Are you sure about this?” Ryan asked with uncharacteristic seriousness.

“He's sure,” Teo said, sipping on his coffee and looking at his phone, “I had a feeling this might happen after they got back last night.”

“Well, come on then, Novo, let's get a look at you,” Ryan said, getting off his stool and putting his hands on my shoulders.

He led me to the bar, where he grabbed a dish rag and threw it over his shoulder. He grabbed a few bottles from behind the bar and came back around to the front, looking at me questioningly.

“Manhattan, right?”

“Yeah, you made a good one based on what little I remember from that night.”

“Gotcha; well then, let me take a look at you, and we can get you sorted.”

“Maybe a dumb question, but what am I needing to be sorted?”

“Just a little something to keep you from burning out.”

I could feel my annoyance starting to build, “can you please just talk plainly?”

“Ok, fine, you know how you can make light happen. It seems you can do it accidentally. This should stop it from happening in places like the Greek lounge, cafeteria, or a shower.” he said, tossing some things into the shaker glass.

“Wait. Does that mean that first drink you gave me…”

“It greased the wheels a bit so we could see what you could do. You seem to be especially sensitive because it seems like it's still in effect.”

“There's a good reason for that,” Teo said, stepping in and sipping his coffee.

“Oh? Something in his file we missed?”

“Looks like. A note from a counselor said he quote ‘dreamed of wielding a flaming sword during an encounter with his father. The patient indicated a high-stress condition with the last high school semester before military service. Recommend no further housing changes.’ Didn't raise flags before, but it looks like he pierced the veil and grabbed his spark on his own,” Teo told Ryan as he joined him behind the bar

“So doing the stuff with the light is called piercing the veil and grabbing the spark. Who the fuck came up with that?” I asked, confused.

“Your stepdad. Drink this for me, bro. I promise I’ll explain everything next week.” Teo said, handing me what looked like a Manhattan in a juice cup.

I looked at both of them. I was scared as hell. For the first time, I felt like I could protect what I loved. They were talking about making it harder to stop me from doing that.

“What if something happens?” I said, almost tears in my eyes, staring at the glass.

Teo came and sat on the bar stool next to me, “Think of it like a door. We cracked the door open for you to see if you would step through. You sprinted through the door and left it wide open. This will put one of those things that automatically closes the door. That way, you can open it when you need, but it's not wide open. It's not locked, bro. You always had the ability. It's why you can see them.”

“And what if they come again.”

“If they are dumb enough to try, we will be there. You aren't alone, Novo. Trust us.” He said with a wink.

Trust them. LT told me to do one thing, to trust them. They showed me what I could do. Now I had to trust that I could still do it if one of them reappeared. Trust that it wouldn't be the checkpoint again with my new family slaughtered.

Teo was right, though; I wasn't alone. I saw the fire in Logan’s eyes when he thought we were dead. He could “pierce the veil” as well and put some serious power behind it. Add in Declan and Jer; that was some firepower. I wasn't alone. I could do this even if I had to let go and let the guys do the work.

“Down the hatch, I guess,” I said, standing up and bringing the cup to my lips.

“It's not a shot!” Ryan yelled, stopping me, “I put good rye in that. Sip it and enjoy it. It should taste like a Manhattan.”

“It looks a little dark for a Manhattan, and is that gold leaf floating there.”

“Just drink your juice,” Ryan said, rolling his eyes.

“As you wish,” I said, taking a sip of the concoction, “damn, that is good.”

Ryan just smiled at me as Teo got up. I took a few more sips until Bear walked in while I took a drink.

“Should I have the other guys get started squaring away the camping gear since he’s gonna be down for a few?” Bear asked.

“That works,” Teo answered behind me, sounding like he was holding something.

“Going to be down? What the hell is this going to do?” I asked, staring into the cup.

“Shouldn’t be long now,” Ryan said, looking at his watch.

I could feel a twinge in my gut before my insides felt like I was in free fall. My eyes got blurry, and it became hard to stand. I heard a loud bang behind me as I lost my grip on the bar and fell backward. Instead of landing on my ass, I was in a chair as Teo grabbed the drink out of my hand.

“I got you, brother,” he said, putting the drink back on the bar.

I could only groan in response as whatever this was moved through my veins and toward my extremities, sucking out the heat. I tried to keep my eyes open, but the light became too bright. I closed my eyes and still could only see bright white light as I lost feeling in my fingers and toes.

It was like I was floating in this lake made of light. Slowly my back started to feel like it was on something solid. As the feeling returned to my extremities, I wiggled my toes and fingers, slowly working my motion to my legs and arms.

“How long you think it will take him to notice us?” I heard someone say.

“Probably less time than it takes you to tie a tie,” another familiar voice said.

“I'm sorry, not everyone is this acquainted with knots.”

“Hey, that boy scout time was worth it, even if they didn't know what I would use it for.”

“You perv. How was the sergeant when you tied him up?”

This was them—my boys. Becker and Harveson were here, wherever here was.

“He never got the chance to,” I said, finally having enough control to sit up.

A horizonless white space surrounded me. In front of me stood both of my boys in their dress blues, medals pinned to their chests, including their posthumous ones. They looked the way they should have for our return from deployment.

“So, Sergeant, what do you think?” Becker asked with his trademark grin.

“You both look…” I choked on my words a bit.

“Fuckable as hell, right?” Harveson said, making me laugh, “Though I thought my pants fit better when I was alive.”

“The delusion,” Becker said, rolling his eyes.

“What the fuck is going on?”

“I'm not sure, but it seems like this is your show,” Becker said, feigning assurance.

“So if I wanted you in just a jock…”

Harveson’s muscular tattooed frame came into view as the dress blues faded from their bodies. His ample junk was firmly encased by a very non-regulation well worn white jockstrap. Its stained white front standing in contrast to his tanned skin.

Becker was similarly exposed. His furry blonde hair caught the reflection, looking almost like an aura as I followed his curves to his well-filled non-regulation black jock. His shit-starting grin was plastered on his face when I realized he caught me staring.

“Speaking of pervs,” Becker said with a wink.

My clothes disappeared into a green jockstrap as I stepped toward them.

“Why am I part of this” Harveson asked.

“Because you run your mouth and get yourself into trouble,” I joked.

“Weren't we supposed to tell him something?” Harveson said, trying to keep his composure.

“Oh right,” Becker said, distracted by me standing before him in just my jock. “Your brothers don't know what you,” he paused for a second, rethinking his words, “what we are. I don't know much, but from what I can understand, those things do.”

“Fuck. Are they in danger?”

“You all are. One more thing,” he said as he slowly started to fade, “protect Track. He is one of the keys.”

“What the fuck does that…” Becker interrupted me with a kiss before he entirely faded.

“Gay. Still got you guys’ six, Sergeant,” Harveson said as he faded away.

It suddenly felt like I was falling. The bright white suddenly faded into inky blackness. As I fell, I could barely hear a distant voice saying, “There you are, my boy,” before landing in a chair.

“You had us worried for a minute there,” Ryan said, cleaning glasses and stacking them in the bar.

It was still light outside; sunlight streamed through the house's windows. The light breeze of the air conditioner tickled the hairs on my bad arm as I regained feeling everywhere.

“What the fuck was that?” I asked, shaking my head.

“Im not sure. Normally when people get this, they are out for five, ten minutes tops. Since you are our little overachiever, you have been out a few hours.”

“What did I miss?”

“You successfully got out of having to put away all the gear from your little adventure.”

“That it?”

“And lunch, the guys should be coming back with a box for you.”

My stomach growled at the thought of more food, reinforcing the notion that a few hours had passed. Ryan continued stacking the clean glasses in the bar as I wiggled my toes and fingers, ensuring I was all here. When I could feel everything moving, I went to stand up.

“Easy there; it might take a minute for everything to settle,” Ryan said, not even facing me.

I hobbled towards the bar. He turned around and smiled at seeing me standing. I looked around, and everything was exactly like when I took a drink, only somehow duller.

“Track and Logan both wanted to make sure you had this. They were incredibly insistent that this would help you wake up.” He said, sliding a book across the bar.

I looked at it nervously—the green cover and classic art veiling the incredible power inside that cover. I slowly took it into my hands and opened the cover to see the note inside again. The note that these men said was so important.

“Hey Champ,

I remember you saying that your stepdad used to read this to you, and it calmed you down. I hope it does it again with everything you are going through. Miss talking with you, and hope you are doing well.

-Colt”

My lip started to quiver as I ran my finger over those words. Colt, Josh, Anton, and Mom, it felt like they were from another life, so far away from where I was now. Here was a concrete link: the kid who wouldn’t give up is the same man standing at the bar. My lodestar reminding me of who I was.

“I guess they were right,” Ryan said, putting his hand on mine.

“Thanks for this.”

“It was wrong for family services to keep it from you.”

“It wasn't the only thing they did that was wrong.”

Before Ryan could say anything else, we could see the other guys come in. The guys were obviously in good spirits as they were loud as hell joking and talking. Logan made his way to the bar with a big styrofoam container. He looked at me and the open book, put the container down, and put his thick arm around me.

“Welcome back, bro.”

“Thanks. Sorry, I was no help putting stuff from the mountain away.” I said, still overwhelmed.

“Eh, no stress, brother. We mostly just gave Declan hell and made him carry the heavy shit since he didn’t even make it all the way down before making us carry him.”

“That sounds fair.”

“We all decided you get to fold most of the laundry.”

“Thanks,” I said, rolling my eyes.

“No problem, bro, anything to help you out. If yer feeling up to it, we are gonna load the laundry bags into Teo’s truck bed and ride over to campus laundry if you wanna scarf that down, or you can take it with you and eat over there.”

“Am I good to go, Ryan?” I asked.

“I'm not your mother. If you feel good, go knock it out.”

“Thanks bro,” I said, grabbing my container of food and book and following Logan out to the garage.

“He lives!” Jer said as I walked out to the garage.

“Just barely,” I joked, giving him a fist bump.

“So the usual then,” Track joked.

“Hey…” I said, trying to argue the logic.

“Don't try and argue it, bro; you are usually only partially here,” Jer added.

“Y’all are rude. I should have stayed passed out.”

“And I should have stayed broken, but here I am,” Declan said, tossing another laundry bag into the bed.

“So, how many are we loading?” I asked, changing the subject while we tossed another one into the bed.

“Two to a person,” Teo said, muscles bulging under his tiny shredder while he put his cowboy hat on, “also 4 to a side. Hold onto the bed rails; I won’t be going fast.”

We tossed the last of the bags into the bed and hopped in, digging our feet under the clothes and holding onto the edge of the bed. We gave each other a thumbs up as we were all set. I sat with the book on top of my food and waited for something to happen. Tyler came out chewing gum and saw us all in position. He got into the passenger seat without a word, and we were off.

The sky was starting to darken as an afternoon storm was building. The campus was awash in activity as everyone tried to finish up what they were doing before the rain hit. ROTC was doing PT in the grass, their silkies soaked with sweat from the humidity. We could see the other fraternities and even a few sororities walking their pledges around. As we came to a roundabout, a bike cop came up to Teo’s open window.

“This year's crop? I shouldn’t expect any trouble out of them, should I?” The officer asked Teo in a thick drawl.

“No more than usual,” Teo answered with his trademark accent.

“That bad, eh?” The officer said, laughing.

“You have no idea!” Tyler said as the 3 of them shared a laugh at our expense.

“Well, you boys be good; I wanna try to beat this rain. Keep an eye out, though; admin wants more speeding tickets this semester.” the officer said with a wink before pedaling off.

We were off again, driving past the now full faculty lots. Some of our professors stopped and stared as we drove by, clearly trying to see who we were. It was a little unsettling. We pulled up to the campus laundromat shortly after, the oddness of the faculty stares being quickly replaced by the immediacy of the work that needed to be done.

“Ok boys, two bags each, get inside,” Tyler shouted from his lowered window.

We dismounted the truck and grabbed bags. I carried one inside with my food and book as Logan hopped back up and pushed the last couple toward the last few guys. Inside, the boys had already gotten us a spot to dump the bags so we could sort as much as possible. I dropped my bag and started to dig into my food when Logan got me after dropping his bags.

“Tyler and Teo want us back out there.”

I smiled as Track took charge of sorting the clothes and grabbed a few machines for us to toss clothes into.

“Novo, Logan. You boys are the most responsible out of your pledge group. Here is 20 bucks. I expect change,” Tyler said, handing us ten singles each for the quarter machine.

As I pocketed my share of the cash, an eagle landed on the power line across the street. It felt weird, like it was making direct eye contact with me. Even as Teo drove his truck away, the eagle stayed watching me.

“Dude, check it out,” I said, getting Logan's attention.

“Yeah, it's wild! There was one sort of following us to and from lunch today. Dunno what it is, but it's cool as hell.”

“I never used to see eagles just in the wild.”

“Blame Dolly, I guess,” Logan said, shrugging and heading in.

I followed, but only after nodding to the eagle. It looked like it nodded back. Somehow that was not even in my top 10 weirdest things this week.

I walked in as the boys had most of the bags empty. They even had stuff sorted mainly by color. One of them was smart enough to toss detergent into one of the bags, so we just had to run machines.

“Hey Novo, can you get us quarters?” Track asked as I walked in, his voice barely registering over the din of the crowded laundry.

I flashed him a thumbs up and got 5 dollars worth of quarters to get the machines we had started. I ate my food and stared at the note while Track started the machines. The guys sat on the machines and shot the shit as we waited for the clothes to finish. I joined them when my food was gone and I had tossed the container. We talked about everything and nothing as the clouds outside looked increasingly menacing. Throughout it all, that eagle stayed on its perch, seemingly trying to keep eye contact with us. It was almost unsettling.

After about an hour, the washers buzzed, and we moved all the clothes into dryers. Logan loaded them with quarters as we enjoyed the now nearly empty laundromat. I picked up the book from where I had left it as the dull rumble of thunder started to reach us. The lights flickered for a second, prompting the other freshmen to dump their dryers back into laundry bags without folding to beat the storm to their dorms. The parking lot emptied, and soon the only sound in the laundromat was our conversation and the sound of our machines. Something about this felt wrong, but I told myself to trust Teo despite the uncertainty.

I flipped and read the opening line, “This is my favorite book in all the world, though I have never read it.”

“Hey Novo, remember the day we met? The laundry was just like this, with just us,” Track said, pulling my attention.

“Yeah, pretty wild we are back here, and it hasn’t even been a week,” I said, eyes darting around the room as the hair on the back of my neck stood up.

Something was wrong. I couldn't put my finger on it.

“You ok?” Track asked.

“Yeah, just…” I trailed off, trying to find the words to ask, “What else do you remember from that day?”

“Some upperclassmen playing a prank on us, shutting off the lights and using the PA to talk to us.”

“Yeah… a prank,” I said, still looking at all the corners.

“What’s wrong, Novo?” Logan asked.

“It's probably nothing,” I lied.

A flash of lighting happened outside but didn’t illuminate the inside of the laundromat. I looked outside and could no longer see the eagle. I steadied my breathing and hopped off the washing machine.

“You good, bro?” Declan asked as he jumped off the machine, followed by Logan.

“It's probably just my paranoia, but something feels off.”

“You gotta give us more than that,” Apollo said, exasperated.

Logan and Declan walked up to my side as I reached the long walkway of dryers on the back wall. All of the guys were standing, looking around. The only sounds were the light squeak of our shoes on the waxed linoleum floor and the pelting rain outside. Another sharp clap of thunder shook the building as it went dark, except the lights were still on.

Dad was here.

“Logan, Dec, get the guys out of here,” I said, trying to summon whatever made that armor on the mountain.

“What’s up, Novo?” Logan said, gripping my shoulder and trying to look at my rapidly moving eyes.

“Someone is here; get the guys out.”

“And what about you,” Declan asked as I started to panic.

“I'll be fine, trust me,” I said, voice starting to shake.

It was then I spotted it in the corner above the change machine. How appropriate for my dad, hiding in a corner.

“Stay low; try and get to the back door. I'll distract it.” I said.

“Distract what?” Logan said, still trying to get me to look at him.

“I got you, bro. Keep 'em low.” Declan said, slowly backing away.

“Your weapons and armor are made of light, and you think you can do a stealth mission. God, you learned nothing in the Marines, did you?” Dad said as if it came from everywhere.

Logan immediately started to summon his armor, staying at my side.

“Dude, pull yours up,” Logan said quietly.

“Oh my dear boy, where are the threats? Where’s that sword you were so proud of all those years ago? Your dad said it was almost impressive.” It said again as Declan dragged Logan away.

So not my dad. But one of whatever my dad was. I could hear the boys argue behind me in hushed tones as my rage built up inside me. I trusted Teo and Ryan that this wouldn’t happen again. Now here I was, standing in front of one of those things, defenseless, just like when I was a kid. I looked over my shoulder to see that the guys had moved, hopefully out of the building. I moved toward the change machine, toward the nexus of the weird shadows.

“Oh, go fuck yourself, dude,” Kevin said in a raised tone, not aimed at the voice.

“Stubborn to the end, just like your father said you would be. All the easier for me…” The voice began to speak as if this was my inevitable end.

As I walked toward this inevitability, I felt a wave of resolve building in me. Another clap of thunder shook the building. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Logan's massive frame moving below the level of the washing machines, the black polo shirts masking their movements between rows of machines.

“You know that you are not incapable of speaking to me. You had so much to say the last time we spoke.” The voice told me.

“So what would you have me say?” I said, planting my feet in line with Logan and Apollo as they crouched between the washing machines, “Some defiance? Some statement on how you took everything from me, but you won’t take me? How it doesn’t matter since everything falls apart anyway?”

The light distortion in the corner moved, gaining form as it approached the ground. It stood before me as if my shadow had come to life. I could hear the light footsteps of the guys moving but was locked in place from fear, unable to do anything.

“I expected more from you,” the shadow stretched its hand towards my face, “your parents were so much more. Yet here you stand, shaking like a child, even at your age. It would be pathetic if I didn’t see you do this before.”

“And exactly when did you see me do this before?” I asked defiantly.

It slowly moved its hand down my shoulder to the scars on my arm. The twisting maw of distortions where its face should be moved almost as if it was smiling.

“I recognize my handiwork. It's a shame, you know. The blonde one would have been so nourishing,” it said while it pushed its hand through my arm.

The white-hot pain stabbing through my arm mixed with my white-hot rage. My vision blurred until all I could see was white, the same white horizonless space as before.

“You would think for how easily he opened the door before this wouldn’t be a problem.”

It sounded almost like Harveson.

“Yeah, but he’s a stubborn asshole.”

That definitely was Becker.

“You fell in love with him. What does that say about you?”

“Listen, if I wanted therapy, I would have paid attention when he went to sessions.”

I forced myself to stand. In front of me was a door standing alone in a horizonless white plane. It was just a normal interior door every house has, with the four big rectangular reliefs and the two small square reliefs at the top. I could hear clear as day what was on the other side, but I couldn't see them. I walked up to it and grasped the handle, unable to turn it.

“What do you think he’s doing right now?” Harveson asked.

“Questioning if he knows what he’s doing before eventually settling on the least bad option,” Becker said.

The door was locked. But it was a regular door. I pushed on it, and it felt like it would give without much force. I just needed to get the knob to come loose.

“He's going to kick the door instead of trying to unlock it, isn’t he”

“You fell in love with him.”

“That I did.”

I was about to kick the door when it opened on its own.

“You are a dumbass, you know that,” Becker said, wrapping his arms around me.

“The dumbest,” I said to the voice as light encased my body.

“You insolent child,” the thing screamed as its bladed hand turned to dust as the light encased my arm.

“Fuck yes,” Logan said as he and Apollo came to my side encased in light.

“Hey, whatever the fuck you are, since you are friends with him, why don't you take a message back to Novo’s dad. If he ever shows his face around here, he’s got at least eight guys who want him dead. Unless you want to be whatever you turn into after being stabbed.” Kevin said from behind me.

“Also: let him know I'm happy. Nothing pisses him off more than knowing he hasn’t won yet.” I said, still feeling Becker’s embrace.

“How dare you speak to an Umbrian like this. You are nothing to us, and like everything else on this plane, you will crumble into dust.” It shouted, clutching its missing hand, surrounded by eight men encased in glowing white armor with blades trained on it.

The door to the laundry crashed open as the full brothers poured in, forming a perimeter along the glass wall.

“Well, you see, these boys are Flamekeepers. Now I believe it's best you get going,” Bear said, his glistening armor giving his few exposed patches of skin an angelic quality as it backlit his hair as he walked down the line of washing machines.

“You are already in violation of the accords. I would hate for something worse to happen over something like this.” Teo said, stepping in front of Bear, his armor giving his exposed face an otherworldly glow.

“You don't know what you have done today. Svek will hear of this.”

“Let them hear! It was not us who crossed the Rubicon! Your threats bear no weight here.” Nick shouted as he walked towards my side.

The twisting maw that was its face twisted in more complex shapes as it was clear the shadow was getting flustered.

“I came to give one message to Issac; Daddy is watching.”

Part of me wanted to drive my sword into whatever that thing was. Logan must have sensed it as he put his armored hand on my shoulder before Bear could grab my chest and whisper, “Not now.”

The creature seemed to lunge at me before disappearing, light returning to normal. I took a step forward only to feel like I had fallen. The white of my armor encased me until I was back in that horizonless place again.

“I love you, Novo.”

“I don't want you to go,” I said, holding him tight

“I won’t be far. Im always here,” Becker told me as he traced his fingers around my naked chest, “and when you are ready, the door won’t be locked.”

“How do you know?”

“Because it unlocked for me. I have to go before I get you in more trouble.” He said before kissing me one last time and closing the door.

It was as if I had jumped into a bath of ice water. The cold bit into my bones as I blinked and saw the brothers pushing the rest of the pledges out of the laundromat. Teo looked like he was saying something, but registering it took a second.

“Did you get that Novo?” He asked expectantly.

“No, sorry.”

“Get in the back of the truck. We will unpack this at the house.”

Scott and Sam were folding clothes from the dryers as Teo led us back to his truck. The rain had stopped, and the sun was streaming as the clouds began to roll off. The pavement was steaming and sweltering, just like when Track and I met. I hopped into the truck bed beside Logan, and he put his arm around me.

I held my book tight to my leg as Teo drove us to the house. A new white scar was on my bad arm. The more I looked at it, the more I could feel my rage building. I trusted him. I trusted Teo, Ryan, LT, and everyone. Things almost ended up sideways, and I was powerless to stop it.

Teo drove slowly down the street the house was on, passing all our cars, still parked haphazardly from our scramble to be on time for the rush party. When Teo pulled in, Ryan, Nick, and Tyler were waiting for us in the garage.

“I’m guessing get downstairs?” Kevin asked, this time letting his asshole tone out on a brother instead of us.

“Yup, follow me down,” Nick said, grabbing Ryan’s shoulder as they walked towards the stairs.

I was last out of the truck following the path when Teo stopped me short of Tyler.

“I'm sorry Novo. I'm so fucking sorry,” he said quietly.

I locked eyes with him and felt a fury I had only felt a few times before. His eyes hurt; I could see it. He was wracked with stress.

“I trusted you,” I said, my tone level and cold.

“I know. I'm sorry.”

I just nodded. I had just started to feel like maybe this time, it wouldn’t all turn to shit. Maybe this time, those fucking things wouldn’t steal my joy from me. Maybe I could live like a real person.

“Come on, Teo, we got a lot to cover,” Tyler said, looking at his watch.

Teo nodded at him before turning back to me and saying, “Please think about it,” before following Tyler into the house.

I made my way down to the pledge hall, more confused than ever since showing up at this house. Ryan stood near the door with a water bottle, ostensibly for me, given that all the other pledges had one.

“Yours is just water, I promise,” Ryan said, almost whispering into my ear, handing me the bottle.

I just nodded in response and made my way next to Track.

“As you can see, Tyler is not here right now,” Nick started. “This is because right now, after what we saw you guys do at the laundromat, the pledge process is no longer in effect. We need to talk on a level playing field.

Hell Week is designed to see if you all would come together in the face of a threat. You did. In the face of our biggest threat, you came together and protected each other, staring it down. No pledge class has had to do this, and you rose to the challenge better than anyone could have hoped.

So, since we are on a level playing field and know you have a million questions, I'll try to answer some of them.

“What the fuck was that thing, and why did it know Novo?” Apollo asked without hesitation.

“That was an Umbrian, a shadow. How it knew Novo is… complicated,” Nick answered, evading the meat of the question.

“Ok. So if that thing is a shadow and we can make shit out of light, they can’t hurt us. Light cancels out shadows, right?” Declan asked.

“It's not exactly that simple. Shadows are caused by light being blocked by something; without light, there is no shadow,” Ryan said, still leaning on the doorframe.

“What kinda magic bullshit is this? Where does the light even come from?” Kevin asked.

“It is some magical bullshit,” Ryan said, laughing.

“Ok, follow me for a second. Inside all of us is something called a spark. In most people, it's just there. But if you learn to tap into it, it's like unlocking cheat codes to the universe. The light is only part of it.”

I could feel my hand shaking, holding the water bottle as I worked up the nerve, “Is that what the Umbrians want? Ryan said there’s no shadow without light, is that what the shadows are trying to get?” I asked, voice cracking as I asked what I already knew.

Ryan and Nick looked at each other nervously for almost a minute before Nick finally spoke.

“Yes. The Umbrians need to consume sparks. The more you access and feed your spark, the more the shadows want it. Our sparks will feed them for longer than some guy who’s never even given it a thought. They will feed on anyone, but their favorite meals are our sparks. The more we train you to fight them, the more likely you will have to face them.

That leads us to our last point. Before we return your personal effects, we need you to drink those water bottles.”

I stared at Ryan, rage building again. He simply nodded at me. I looked at the water in the bottle closely but did not see any hints of golden light in it like the drink earlier. I saw a glimmer of it in Track's water bottle as he gulped it down. Fuck it; I opened the cap and gulped down the water. When we were all done, Nick just nodded at us and continued.

“Ok. Tonight, you have a choice. You can walk away, never learn to access and feed your spark, and stay under the radar for most shadows. If you do that, you will remember nothing of how your time as a pledge actually occurred. You will wake up in your dorm room tomorrow thinking you were cut following the end of the final trial of hell week. You will never know about the light, the shadows, or anything. If you come back, you are bound to us. We cannot undo anything beyond tonight.”

Tyler came out with a few small boxes. Apparently, on Saturday, we had given them all our stuff. I wonder if it was the alcohol or some other trick of a drink as to why my memory was so fuzzy. Teo came through the doorway, looking more tired than I had ever seen him. After Nick had handed us all our boxes, Teo started.

“I trust Nick explained the stakes to y’all. If you want this life, be back here no later than nine tonight. It's about three now, which gives you close to six hours to figure it out. Remember, we are watching, so don’t go blabbing about what we really are. We can make the rest of your life hell for something you won’t even remember. We are a little petty like that.

Now, go enjoy some freedom. Or wait in the bar. It’s up to you.”

I opened my box and quickly packed my pockets. I walked up the stairs with the other guys and stepped out the front door. I needed to get out of the house and think. Track was following me like a puppy as I walked to my car.

“So where you wanna go, Champ,” I asked him as we got to my car.

“It’s far,” he said nervously.

“How far?” I asked, narrowing my eyes.

“It's about an hour, maybe 2 hours away.” He said, struggling to meet my eyes.

“What is it?” I asked him, grabbing his shoulder

“I wanna see my mom,” Track said, tears starting to well up.

“Get in, champ,” I said, rolling my eyes in my best exasperated big brother impression.

“Seriously?” He asked excitedly.

“Yes. get in.” I told him, opening the door and sitting down.

I started the car and plugged my phone in to get it started while the AC kicked in. Track buckled up in the passenger seat as I got some music going. I saw a text from an unknown number telling me not to go too far from the house.

“Ready?” I asked Track.

“Ready,” he said smiling, “and thank you.”

“That's what big brothers are for,” I said, putting the car in gear and pulling away with the other pledges.

We all had a lot to think about.