Home for Christmas - 1. Chapter 1

Part One

The day I left for college, I left my home forever, at least I believed it would be forever. Our house was in Newton, a beautiful suburb of Boston, MA. I knew I would sorely miss my home, but I left the house looking forward, and not back.

I had come out to my parents a week before I was due to begin college. They were very upset, and refused to talk about it any further. A few days later my father took me aside for a talk. The talk was all one-sided.

He didn’t disown me, or anything as harsh as the awful things I have read about. He just told me that I was not welcome in HIS home anymore. He informed me that he would pay my college expenses through my undergraduate years. If I wanted to further my education, it would be my responsibility. He didn’t care what I did during the summers or school holidays, but I could never come home again.

I made many gay friends in college, and every one of them was welcome in their parents’ home, except me. Every so often, I was invited to go home with one of them for the weekend. I never made a ‘special friend’ but I had plenty of fuck buddies, who felt close enough to me to invite me home with them.

By the time winter break was approaching, I had started to go home, for occasional weekends with only one friend, Jay Goodman. We became very close pals, and we often had sex together. I went home with him for winter and spring breaks, and his family warmly welcomed me into their home in Cedarhurst, NY.

I was majoring in Finance, and Jay’s father was a CPA whose office was in Manhattan. Jay already had a summer job, but Mr. Goodman kindly gave me a gofer job in his office for the summer. By the end of the summer, under the tutelage of one of his staff accountants, I was doing little jobs on my own. The staff all liked me. They, and Mr. Goodman, were pleased with my work, and I ended up working there every summer during my college years. I tried to pay for my room and board, but Mr and Mrs. Goodman would not hear of it. They knew the situation with my parents, and they urged me to save as much of my earnings as I could.

Somewhere along the way, Jay and I became as close as brothers, and we stopped having sex together, especially when Jay announced to me one evening that he had met someone; someone very special. I was thrilled for Jay, and I hoped that my special someone would be arriving very soon.

During my college years, I had very limited contact with my parents. I only heard from them on those occasions when they sent me money for tuition, books, and expenses. We did not talk once during all that time. After I graduated, all contact was severed for good.

Mr. Goodman put me on his full time staff. I rented a one bedroom apartment near the office, and I bought a used five year old Chevy with the money I had saved from my summer job. I hardly noticed how it happened, but little by little, Phyllis and Sid Goodman came to treat me like another son, and as Jay’s brother. I was at their home for dinner, along with Jay and his partner, Michael, for every holiday celebration, and every Friday evening for their Sabbath dinner.

Jay and Mike were constantly trying to fix me up. As a result, I had plenty of sex, but there was still nobody special. Along the way, my life progressed. I passed my exams, and got my CPA certificate. I was given a private office at work, and a junior partnership.

Before I knew it, I was facing down the barrel of a gun; my thirtieth birthday. Even though I was still single, I was really satisfied with my life. I had a good job, an adopted, loving family, and very good friends.

But contentment was just out of my reach. I desperately yearned for news of my family. I missed them all terribly, especially my little sister, who would be about twenty-two years old about now.

**********

Robert Lord, Sr. piled all his son’s belongings into his minivan, and drove Bobby to the bus depot to board his bus to downtown Boston, and Boston University. The two men unloaded the car at curbside and Robert Sr. drove off, without ever having said a single word to his grieving son. It was as if the father believed that this cruelty would somehow put some sense back into the boy’s head.

When Robert got home, nobody spoke. His wife, Jeanne, had been warned to keep silent, and his daughter Cheryl was weeping. She was old enough to know that she couldn’t ask a word about her brother or mention his name. As far as they were all concerned, Bobby was dead; better still, had never lived.

After a month or so, Robert was filled with remorse. He desperately wanted to talk to Bobby, and ask him how he was doing, how he liked university life, was he making friends; all the things a parent wanted to know, but he was too stubborn to change his mind. With Thanksgiving and Christmas coming up soon, Cheryl begged her father to call Bobby and ask him to come home. Once again, he warned the young girl that Bobby’s name was never to be mentioned in this house again.

The Lord family became accustomed to a life without Bobby, and Robert eventually got his wish. It was as if Bobby had never existed, especially when he graduated university, and Robert no longer sent him any money for his expenses.

About nine months before Bobby’s thirtieth birthday, the Johnson family, who had lived next door to the Lords for over thirty-five years, retired. They sold their house, and moved to Boca Raton. Robert was concerned that a young couple would move in, with screaming kids and barking dogs. He need not have been concerned. Elizabeth and Raymond Larkin were just a few years younger than the Lords. They had a daughter in college, and a son who was a stock broker in New York.

Jeanne and Robert greeted the newcomers with a basket of wines, crackers and cookies, and the two couples soon became good friends.

“I can’t wait for Thanksgiving,” Raymond said one day, while talking to Robert over their mutual fence. “You’ll get to meet my kids, Danny and Marsha. How about your kids, Robert? Will they be coming home?”

“Not they,” Robert said immediately. “There’s just my daughter, Cheryl. She’s in her senior year at Columbia in New York. Yes, she’ll be coming home.”

Robert got a smile on his face. “Hey, since Danny and Cheryl both live in New York, maybe we can fix them up, and get something going,” he said, winking at Raymond.

“Don’t even think about it. It’s bloody never going to happen. Daniel is gay. Now if you had a gay son, maybe we could get them together.”

Robert was struck dumb. “You have a gay son?” was all he could mutter.

“Yeah, I can’t wait until you and Jeanne meet him. He’s a fantastic kid, handsome, and bright as a new penny. You might want to throw some business his way.”

The confusion in Robert’s brain was giving him a major headache. He excused himself, saying that he had something to do, and went into his house. Raymond realized that Robert was upset, but he erroneously thought that Robert was upset because he had revealed that his son was gay. Now he was the one who was angry. He would hate to lose Robert’s friendship, but his son always came first. He was proud of the boy, and fuck you, Robert Lord, if you are so bigoted.

Robert ran upstairs and into his bedroom. He closed the door and started to shake. Raymond had been so loving, and so accepting of his son. How could he himself have been such a jackass? He stopped shaking, and burst into tears. His crying calmed him down somewhat. He vowed to reach out to his son and welcome him back home.

A terrible thought occurred to him. What if Bobby hated him, and would not accept a reconciliation? He started to shake again. That thought was too unbearable. All the man knew was that he had to try. He ran downstairs to his den, and straight to his computer. Immediately he started a search for Robert Lord, Jr. He prayed that Bobby still lived in the Boston area. That would make his search easier.

**********

It was about 4 PM on the day before Thanksgiving. We had closed the office about an hour earlier, so that our staff could get home and start preparing for their holiday feasts. I was just cleaning up my desk with last minute items, which required my attention. We would not be reopening until Monday morning. I locked up the office, turned on the answering machine, and rushed home to pack an overnight bag. Jay, Mike and I were staying overnight with the Goodman family, and helping them with the holiday preparations.

I was unlocking my front door, and I could clearly hear my land-line phone ringing. Unfortunately, it stopped by the time I got into the house. Whoever had called, did not leave a message. I was only in the house for a little less than a half hour. I rushed to my car, stopped to pick up Jay and Michael, and set off for Long island.

**********

Robert was disappointed that his son did not answer the phone. He was afraid that he would lose his nerve and not call again, so to reinforce his resolve he called back about ten minutes after Bobby left the apartment. He reasoned that it was a holiday, and maybe Bobby went away for the long weekend. Then he wondered if Bobby had a boyfriend, and he might be spending the holiday with his friend and possibly his friend’s parents. He shuddered and tried to put that thought out of his mind.

He decided that he would call again on Monday evening after working hours. He wondered what his son did for a living, and he started to cry again. He realized that he knew nothing about his son’s life, at least, his adult son’s life.

********** 

Jay, Mike, and I returned to the city on the Friday morning after Thanksgiving. I dropped them off at home, and we agreed to meet that evening at our favorite watering hole in Greenwich Village. I spent most of the weekend hanging out in their apartment.

I had a tough day at work on Monday. The phone never stopped ringing for me. It seemed that after a long weekend, every one of my clients wanted to pick my brains, or had a problem, or had received a letter from the IRS, which required attention; my attention, that is. As a result, I was too tired to make dinner, so I stopped off at a diner near my apartment. I didn’t get home until 8:30. I kicked off my shoes, took off my tie, poured myself a scotch and soda, and collapsed in front of the TV.

After just one sip, the phone rang. That was just what I didn’t need, another telephone call from a client with a problem. It turned out to be Jay and Mike checking up on me. Besides constantly trying to fix me up, they hovered over me like mother hens. It really didn’t disturb me. I loved them dearly, and I was grateful for their concern.

I put the phone down, took another sip of scotch, and the phone rang again. I think I said, “Damn!” out loud. I picked up the receiver, and anyone could tell that I shouted, “Hello,” with a bit of annoyance in my voice.

There was a long hesitation, on a seemingly dead line. I figured it was a solicitation, and the computer was taking a while to kick in. I was about to hang up, when I heard a whispered voice ask, “Bobby?” The voice was vaguely familiar. Nobody had called me Bobby in years. I was Bob to my friends, and ‘my accountant’ to my clients.

“Yes?” I said with a question mark. “Who is this?”

“Bobby,” a sobbing voice said. “It’s your father.”

“Daddy,” I screamed. I couldn’t believe I had said, “Daddy.” I hadn’t called my father that since I was eight years old. “Daddy,” I screamed again. I started to bawl, and I was speechless. I could hear my father sobbing at the other end of the line. He wasn’t crying silently. He was sobbing louder than I was.

Finally, my father seemed to find his voice before I did. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he repeated over and over. “I love you. I’ve been a fool, a first class jerk. Can you ever forgive me?”

“Of course, I forgive you,” I said. “This is the happiest day of my life. How are Mom and Cheryl?”

“Mom’s fine. Cheryl is a senior at Columbia. I’ll give you her number. Please call her if you want to.”

“Of course, I want to, and I want to see you and mom as soon as possible. I’m extremely busy at work right now, but I can get away for Christmas, if you’ll let me come home.”

“Yes, we want you to come home for Christmas, but right now, I want to hear about you. Tell me everything that has happened to you, since you left home.” I noticed my father avoided saying, “Since I kicked you out.”

I told him first about Jay, without revealing that we had slept together. “Jay befriended me, and took me under his wing. I went home with him every time he went back to New York. When his father heard that I was majoring in finance, he gave me a job in his office every summer. He’s a CPA, Dad. After I graduated he gave me a full time position. I got my CPA certification, and I’m a junior partner now.”

“Wonderful, wonderful,” my dad muttered every time I stopped to breathe.

“I don’t want to make you feel bad, Dad, but Mr. and Mrs. Goodman have sort of unofficially adopted me. They consider that they are my surrogate parents, and Jay and his partner, Michael, are my brothers. I love Cheryl, but I always wanted a brother, and it’s great to have two.”

“Jay has a partner? Is he gay?” my father asked, and I shuddered. Was he going to condemn me again?

“That’s wonderful,” he said before I could answer. “I’d like to see you settled with someone…like Jay is.” You could have knocked me over with a mild summer breeze.

I started to laugh. “I’d like that too, Dad, but I just haven’t met anyone yet.”

“Speaking of meeting people. I want so much to meet the Goodman family one day, and tell them thanks, and let them know what an asshole I’ve been.

“If it’s any consolation, Dad, they never condemned you. They love their son, and they kept assuring me that you loved me too, and someday you would come around. I can’t wait to tell them how right they were.”

We spoke for well over an hour, and then finally, my dad put my mother on. She was too emotional to talk, so we finally hung up. It was about 10:30. I didn’t care. I decided to call Cheryl. I punched in the number that my father had given me. She sounded so sleepy when she answered.

“It’s late,” she said. “This better be good. Who is this?”

“Wanna have dinner with me tomorrow evening?”

“Who is this? Do I know you?’

I couldn’t torture her any more. “Cheryl, honey, it’s Bobby.” I said Bobby so she would know that it was me for sure. I heard a loud screech, so I continued. “Dad called. He wants me to come home for Christmas.” Another loud screech.

Finally, in a wailing voice, she moaned, “Bobby.” We cried and talked for another hour. I gave her the address of my office, and she said that she could get there by 4:30 the next afternoon.

It was getting close to midnight, but I wasn’t tired and I couldn’t sleep anyway. I was too excited. I called Jay and Mike. At first they cursed me out, but when I told them the news, we all got teary together, and when I told them I was meeting my sister for dinner tomorrow, they insisted on going along. “She’s our sister too,” Jay reminded me. When we finally hung up, I decided I would tell Sid in the office the next day. It was way too late to call him this evening.

He screeched louder than Cheryl had, and gave me a bone crushing bear hug. He called Phyllis to give her the good news, and she insisted on speaking to me so she could say, “I told you so,” over and over.

“Sid, my sister, Cheryl, is coming to the office this afternoon, and she, Jay, Mike, and I are going out to dinner together. Do you think I could bring her to dinner at your house Friday evening?”

“If you don’t, I’ll fire you.”

“You can’t fire me. I’m a partner. You’ll have to buy me out.” I started to laugh, and I embraced Sid, but not as hard as he had embraced me. “I love you,” I said. “That will never change.” A tear appeared in his eye.

At about three o’clock in the afternoon I got a call from Mike. “Hey Bob,” he began. “I’ve told you a hundred times how handsome I think you are.” Where was this heading? “So, I figure your sister is nothing less than gorgeous. I’m bringing my kid brother, Jamie, along tonight. I think they should meet.”

“I don’t even know if she has a boyfriend or not,” I whined.

“So, if she does, it’ll be a social evening. She should meet the whole family, don’t you think?”

I had previously met Jamie on a few occasions. He was one good looking dude. I told him that if he wasn’t straight, I’d be making a major play for him. I had no problem telling Mike to bring him along.

Who knew? But Jamie was about to meet his future wife.

Part Two

I was not sure if Jamie and Cheryl were attracted to each other because they were the only straight people at the dinner table that night, or if it was a true case of love at first sight. I was sure of one thing. They made a lovely couple. Unfortunately, I was cramping Jamie’s style. I couldn’t stop hugging Cheryl, and she couldn’t stop crying and hugging me all evening. Through it all, she and Jamie managed to discover each other.

They were inseparable in the ensuing weeks, and Cheryl even met Jamie’s parents. They had a gay son, my brother Mike, and they were delighted that Cheryl represented a source of future grandchildren. Cheryl cleared it with my dad, and Jamie was invited to Newton for Christmas.

The love birds drove up to Newton as soon as winter break began. I worked until the last minute, and Jay and Mike drove me to LaGuardia. My father said that he and my mom would pick me up at Logan Airport, and I was shaking in my boots.

The weather was not good in either city. There were snow flurries in the air, and my flight was delayed for nearly two hours. I sat impatiently in the dank, cold terminal. I checked the departure board and my watch every two minutes. Finally, I gave up and just looked around me. It was then that I spotted him. He was sitting across the aisle from me, and I thought he was indescribably beautiful. I took a better look, and my gaydar alarm bell began to ring.

He looked up, and our eyes locked on each other. I was smitten and I think he was too. He appeared to be two or three years younger than I, so I figured that if anyone would make a move, it should be me.

I stood up, retrieved my carry on, and walked right up to him. “Our flight isn’t leaving for at least two more hours,” I told him what he already knew. “Can I buy you a drink while we’re waiting it out?”

He could have brushed me off, but he smiled back at me. “That would be great,” he said. He got up and we headed toward a very crowded bar. We finally got our drinks, and found a small table which was just being vacated. As soon as we were comfortably seated, I stuck out my hand. “I’m Bob Lord,” I said too formally.

“Danny Larkin,” he said accepting my hand shake.

“Do you live in Boston, or are you just going home for Christmas?” I really wanted to know. I was hoping that Danny lived in New York.

“I live in Manhattan, and I’m going home for Christmas and New Year’s,” he said.

“Wow,” I said, winking at him. “Me too. I guess that means that neither one of us has a date for New Year’s Eve, unless you have someone in Boston.”

“I’ll be in Newton, actually. My folks recently scaled down, and moved there from a smaller house in Beacon Hill. Even though it was smaller, it was much more expensive to maintain it in the city, than their new house in the suburbs. For your information, I have no date for New Year’s Eve. I’ll be spending it with my family. I see precious little of them.”

“I know. That’s hard,” I said. “I haven’t seen my family in twelve years.”

“That’s terrible,” Danny said. “What happened?”

Only because I believed that he was gay, did I tell him the whole story. During my recitation, he put his hand on mine, and I swear there was a tear in his eye.

“I was so lucky. My folks were OK with it from the get go,” he said, sounding very grateful.

Neither of us realized it, but we had outed ourselves. We sat silently for a few moments, sipping our drinks.

“By the way,” I said. “I’m going to Newton also. My parents live there. Where in Newton do your folks live?”

Danny gave me the name of the street, and I nearly freaked. “What number?” I asked, wanting more information.

When he told me, I gasped for breath. “Your folks bought the Johnson house. It’s right next door to mine.” I don’t know why I said, “mine.” I hadn’t seen the place in more than a decade.

“This is going to be one hell of a Christmas holiday,” Danny said. “We should really get acquainted, buddy. What do you do in New York?”

For the next hour we told each other what we did for a living, and described our lives and our friends. Before they announced that our flight was ready for boarding, Danny and I knew for sure that we would sleep together before very long.

**********

Jeanne and Robert arrived at the airport way too early. They were too excited to stay home, and besides, Cheryl and Jamie had gone out for dinner with Marsha Larkin, who attended Boston College. When they checked the arrival board, they were dismayed to see how delayed the flight was. They found a comfortable seat in the waiting room from where they could see the passengers exiting.

About fifteen minutes later, they were shocked to see Liz and Ray Larkin entering the waiting area. Robert jumped up and pumped Ray’s hand. “What are you doing here?” he asked.

“We’re meeting our son, Danny. He’s coming in from New York. Who are you meeting?”

Robert took Ray aside, where their wives couldn’t hear them. “We’re meeting my son, Bobby. He’s coming from New York also.”

“I thought you didn’t have a son,” Ray looked confused.

“I have a confession to make, Ray. I’m not proud of it, but hear me out. When my son told me he was gay, I didn’t disown him, but I wouldn’t ever let him come home, and we pretended he had never existed. After a while I realized my foolishness, but I was too stubborn to change things. Then when you told me that your son was gay, how great he was, how much you loved him, I realized that I had been a perfect moron. I contacted Bobby, and this is the first time we’ll see each other in twelve years.”

Ray was speechless. All he could manage to say was, “Wow!” An unhappy silence followed, so just to make conversation, Ray said, “Jamie and your daughter make a great looking couple. It looks like you’ll be making a wedding soon.”

“Yes, and you’re invited. By the way, Jamie’s brother, Mike, is a close friend of Bobby’s. They consider themselves to be brothers.”

“Hey Rob, remember when I said that if you had a gay son, we could do a little match making. Wouldn’t it be a hoot if our two boys hit it off? I’d love to see Danny settled and not exposing himself to diseases.”

“Ditto!”

**********

The flight was full, and Danny couldn’t sit with me. That was a bummer because I wanted desperately to touch him. Thankfully it was a short flight. I couldn’t even walk to his seat to talk to him, because it was a bumpy ride, and the captain had the seat belt on the whole time.

I got off the plane first and waited for him. “Let’s play a game,” I said. “Let’s walk out together and tell our folks that we’ve known each other forever, and that we pal around in New York.”

“Yeah, that should flabbergast them. We’ll give them an awesome small world story.”

Danny put his carry-on in his right hand, and I put mine in my left hand. We grabbed our free hands and held them tight. I figured that would shock our parents, but actually we really wanted to do it.

“Let’s go a step further, and call each other sweetie and honey and the like,” Danny said.

“That’ll be easy, because I do so want to make love to you.”

Danny was awestruck. All he could do was smile at me, and say, “Yeah, me too.”

We were not surprised to see both our parents waiting together just outside the security gate. My mother was bawling like a baby. Danny and I held hands until the last moment. Our folks had to have seen it. I broke away, and embraced my mother. We were both sobbing. Finally, she let go and literally pushed me toward my father. He hesitated for just a moment and then he enveloped me in his strong arms, and whispered in my ear, “I love you, son.”

Danny was similarly engaged greeting his parents, but it hadn’t been twelve long years for him. He had been home as recently as Thanksgiving. When the hellos were said, and we were all walking to baggage claim, Ray asked us how we knew each other. We gave them our rehearsed scenario, and they were indeed amazed.

“Have you boys eaten dinner?” Dad asked. We both said no, and he suggested that the six of us go to a nice restaurant before it got too late. Danny and I did not argue. At the restaurant we held hands under the table like a couple of teen-agers.

When we finally got home, Danny and I kissed each other good night, and went into our respective houses. My dad did not know what to make of it. I think our kissing may have grossed him out. Ray was grinning from ear to ear.

My dad was still quite the purist. He had set Jamie up in my old bedroom, which fortunately was furnished with twin beds. He wasn’t going to let his daughter have sex in his house before marriage. Well, we all have our quirks. I was just grateful that he had finally accepted my life style.

As soon as Jamie and I were settled in our separate beds. He turned away from me, and called Cheryl on his cellphone. I turned away also, and I called Danny.

“Please don’t say anything,” I said. “I need to tell you something. I have always absolutely loved Christmas. I love it now more than ever. If we hadn’t both come home for the holidays, our paths might not have crossed. We might never have known each other. The thought of that terrifies me. I know we just met, Danny, but I have strong feelings for you. I want desperately to get something started with us.”

After a long silence, I begged, “Please say something.”

Danny didn’t say anything. After another long silence, I said, “I’m sorry if I upset you. Goodnight.” I hung up.

A moment or two later my phone rang. “I couldn’t say anything before,” Danny said. “You see, I was crying. I love Christmas too; maybe more than you do. I think I have fallen in love with you. Now get some sleep. We have lots to talk about tomorrow.”

I didn’t realize that Jamie was no longer on his phone. He was sitting at the side of his bed, and smiling at me.

“I guess, you can call me Bro for real, Bob,” he said. “Cheryl just said yes to my marriage proposal.”

Jamie and I were both wearing boxers, thank goodness. We jumped out of bed and hugged each other.

“I think you can call Danny, Bro, also,” I said.

“Who is Danny?” he asked. “You can’t mean Marsha’s brother.” I realized that Jamie had never met Danny, so I filled in the gap.

“That’s wonderful. This has been the best Christmas I ever had,” Jamie said. “It’s unbelievable. I’m in love with your sister, and I love you too, Bro.”

The big challenge for both of us couples was how and when to get together to make love. In the end, we were all so happy and excited, that we didn’t mind waiting until we got back to New York.

I never made love to anyone with whom I wanted to spend eternity. Mr. Daniel Larkin was worth waiting for. It was like looking forward to a fantastic Christmas morning, and opening all the gifts. It is something so magical, so extra special. Danny was the best Christmas present I ever got. I couldn’t wait to unwrap him.