Ralph: Breaking free - 17. Rogue accountants and supportive friends

The doorbell went. It was late for a visit, so that presumably meant problems. But Therese would normally have texted or phoned, hell she wouldn’t just turn up. Ralph opened the door a tad warily to find Nolan there, looking shell-shocked. His eyes were red, as if he’d been crying. Ralph’s first instinct was a surprise, both to himself and to Nolan as he took the man into a hug. It felt good and right. Then without questioning him, Ralph drew him into the house.

It all came out in a rush. Nolan and Verne’s firm’s accountant had been embezzling funds and done a runner. Several small firms were in the same boat. Without asking, Ralph went to fetch a bottle of wine and two glasses.

“In the scheme of things, it’s not that much but it’s all we have.”

“He’s cleaned you out?”

“Taken the money we were about to put down on the new premises and I think there’s bills outstanding. He’s been dragging his feet on producing the accounts.” Nolan gave a bitter laugh, “Now I understand why.”

“Look, tonight isn’t the best time to make plans. But we can talk if you want to.”

“So much crap is going through my head.”

“What about Verne?”

“She’s pissed off, of course.”

“But you two need to get together, plan. Tell her to come here first thing tomorrow and we can start planning.”

“We?”

“Yes. We. I’m not letting you go through this alone, right?”

Nolan gave a funny laugh and the two embraced.

Ralph stood up, “I’ll fetch something to eat, before the wine goes to our head. Phone Verne.”

“What time tomorrow?”

“First thing. By 8am. We need to get started, so that we can go to a solicitor, accountant, bank, and”, Ralph paused, “think about the police too.” At this latter, Nolan grimaced but didn’t say anything.

Whilst Ralph toasted some bread out of the freezer and dug out cheese and pâté from the fridge, he heard Nolan on the phone to Verne. Nolan appeared at the kitchen counter.

“All done, she’s coming. She’s fixed a dep for her first class. I’d better arrange one for myself if we’re going to be busy.”

“You bet.”

“What about you?”

“Beth and Ivor can cope without me, for a short period at least. Besides you’ll need my big mouth.”

Nolan stared at him. Ralph grinned. “When it comes to officialdom, you don’t get anywhere by being nice. It’s something I learned from Father. One of the few things.” Ralph shrugged. “Let’s make a list.”

“But everything’s going to fail, there’s no money.”

Ralph took Nolan’s hands, “There will be tomorrow. I have an emergency fund. I can lend you. Till the bank’s sorted.”

“But you can’t.”

“Yes, I can. We’ll do it proper, write an agreement, get Verne and Beth to witness it. OK?”

Nolan nodded, “Thanks.”

They made a list, a plan. Not because they could do anything that evening, but because Ralph knew that it would help Nolan. Ralph had been there. Not in as bad way, but the early days of ‘WebIdeal’ had involved lots of panic phone calls where he learned to do an impression of his Father, polite yet implacable, and apparently inexorable, never taking no for an answer yet never raising his voice.

They slept together; Nolan snuggled against Ralph. Ralph was aware it was a long time before the man’s breathing settled and he relaxed.

---

Verne arrived promptly at eight o’clock and even from the kitchen Ralph could hear her talking; was she always like this? He brought coffee and sat listening as she excoriated their accountant, then Nolan put a hand on hers.

“Verne, look, we have a plan.”

“We?” She looked from Nolan to Ralph, a look of understanding.

They went over everything that Nolan and Ralph had talked about the previous night. Nolan got out his tablet and they went over the accounts. Verne started to moan again, but Nolan stopped her, and Ralph was able to get them to focus on essentials. What was owing.

By the time Beth arrived, Verne was about to go. Ralph quickly got the loan agreement sorted and transferred the money. Verne then kissed him, whispered ‘take care of him’, and dashed off for her full day of classes and appointments.

For Nolan, watching Ralph in action was a thing of awe. Ralph took full details from Nolan, including his security questions and spent the morning on the telephone, pretending to be Nolan, polite yet inexorable. By the end, they had an appointment the following week with Ralph’s accountant and with a solicitor, plus a temporary overdraft from the bank.

As Ralph sat on the phone, waiting, Beth had smiled at Nolan, “You ever met his Father?”

Nolan shook his head, “No, why?”

“It’s scary. The way Ralph can put on his Father’s manner. What’s scarier is that with Ralph’s Father, it’s not a manner, it’s the way he is.”

“Is Ralph like this with clients?”

Beth laughed, “Hell no. Well, not normally. This is his”, she paused, “emergency manner. He hates it.”

“Because of the problems with his parents?”

She nodded, “Reminder of all the shit they put on him.”

Ralph looked up from the phone where naff hold music was playing, “It’s completely knackering. I can do it, but it’s not me, just a skill I learned.” Then his voice changed as he returned to the phone, “Mr Nolan Toth, I have been waiting…” And he was off again.

In the gaps, Ralph talked Nolan through the original business plan that had been part of the setting up of the business. Then Nolan set off updating it, pulling out new figures. Beth simply brought them lunch, no question. It just appeared. Ralph and Nolan stayed in his sitting room and occasionally the sound of Beth and Ivor on the phone would drift up from the ground floor.

Ralph and Nolan were eating lunch, rather late, when Nolan had a thought, “My rent.”

Ralph looked up, “On the new premises or old?”

“No, at my flat.”

“Well?”

“It’s due this weekend.”

“Well, you can hardly default.”

Nolan shrugged, “Thing is, the landlord wants me out, and the other tenants, he has plans. He’s offered a sweetener, only I’ve nowhere to go.”

“Verne?”

“She’s just moved back in with her parents, saving for a new place with her boyfriend.”

“I can see that might not be fun”, Ralph thought. The decision was a surprisingly easy one to make. “You can come here.”

Nolan stared at him, “I can’t…”

But Ralph interrupted, “During the week you can use the girls’ room, if the décor doesn’t drive you loopy. Then at weekends either share with me or we arrange a bed downstairs.”

“But what about the girls?”

“They like you. They’re not stupid, they’ll understand this is an emergency. Just think. You’d pay no rent, nothing on expenses either, plus you’d get the sweetener from the landlord. Help the cash flow, no end.”

“I can’t.”

“You can. Till we get this sorted. My treat.”

They went round it some more, but Ralph wore him down. After all, it did make a sort of sense.

Nolan had managed to arrange cover for his classes, but late afternoon he set off for his private appointments, both personal coaching and some sports therapy. Ralph followed Nolan down into the ground floor office.

Beth looked up and grinned at him, “From what I heard, that was impressive.”

Ralph gave a wry grin, “Knackered now, and Father can go back into his box. Thank God.”

“Till next time?”

Ralph cocked an eye, “Hope there isn’t one. I hate that I have to do it, that it shows he’s right, his way of doing things.”

Beth glared at him, “Now. It’s a tool, that’s all, you simply have it in your armoury.”

“Thanks.”

The phone went, it was Morrie. Ralph sighed but took the call. Morrie was worritting over details on the new pages for the website. Ralph gave the man his head, making notes. When Morrie asked Ralph how his day had been, Ralph was going to brush it off, but then thought better of it. Without over-thinking things, Ralph explained what had happened and wondered whether it might be the sort of business that Russ Kahn would be interested in supporting and investing in. After all, it was local and did much good with the children’s coaching alongside the adult classes and sports therapy.

Morrie was quiet and Ralph worried that he’d put his foot in it. “Look. This is just a friend-to-friend thing. I wanted your opinion because you’re a friend and you know Russ Kahn. If you think it a goer, then I’ll contact Kahn.”

“Between friends.”

“Yes. I want to help Nolan because he’s…”

“Your boyfriend”, Morrie gave a chuckle.

“And I thought the man I went boating with might be able to contribute some advice.”

“Let me think. I’m seeing Russ Kahn this weekend.”

“Wow. Another party?”

“No. More of a business seminar. Local businessmen, guest speaker, meal, chat, networking; that sort of thing.”

“Impressive. You’re really there.”

“Yes. I was going to put in a word for your services, but now I can sound Russ Kahn out about Nolan’s company too.”

“Look, it’s not a big thing, we have a sort of plan, but a bit of investment…”

“Would help in the short term.”

“Yes.”

Ralph didn’t hold out much hope, but it was silly not to put out feelers, and he could tell the friendship thing really meant something to Morrie.

As luck would have it, Therese was dropping the twins off after school so as they skittered into the house, he stopped his ex-wife. “Nolan is coming to stay here.”

She raised one eyebrow, “Christ, that was quick. Whatever happened to going slowly.”

“His accountant embezzled all his firm’s liquid assets as well as leaving them with unpaid bills.”

“Jesus. You’re joking.”

“Nope. They have a severe cash-flow problem.”

“And staying here?”

“Saves him rent.”

“What are you going to tell them”, she nodded towards the house.

“The truth? That Nolan needs somewhere to live for a few weeks as a bad man has stolen all his money.”

She laughed but nodded, “Yeah. It works, I suppose. Where?”

“Where what?”

“Is he sleeping?” She glared at Ralph.

“In the twins’ room when they’re not there.”

“Good job you got future-proof beds.” She gave him a self-satisfied smirk.

Ralph smiled, “Thanks to you.” He had allowed Therese to talk him into buying full-size beds for the twins that would still be suitable for them when they got older.

“So, his feet won’t hang off the end”, she smiled. “And at weekends?”

“My bed, if it doesn’t freak them out.”

“And if it does?”

“Rig something up in the office downstairs.”

“Just do it.”

“Share my bed?”

“Yeah. They’ve already quizzed you about boyfriends. They’ll soon let you know if they’re not happy.” They both smiled at each other.

“Thanks.” He gave a wry grin.

He found the twins sitting at the table eating biscuits and drinking juice. They’d recently taken to helping themselves more, so he’d left stuff out.

He sat down opposite them, “We’re going to have a visitor staying.”

“Who is it, Daddy?”

“Nolan.”

“Goody.”

“Football Nolan?”

“Yes. A bad man has stolen lots of money from him, so he needs somewhere to live.”

“Is he poor?”

“He’s short of money at the moment, till he can earn more. So, we’re going to be nice to him, OK?”

“We’ll be nice.”

“It’s cool to have Nolan here.”

Then almost in unison, “Where’s his bed?”

“Well, I was hoping that you two would be generous and let Nolan use one of your beds when you’re not here.”

“That’s nice, he can use my bed.”

“And mine. Will he use your bed when we’re here?”

Ralph was amused at how logical the girls’ minds were. And relieved. “Yes. He’ll share my bed this weekend.”

The girls settled down with books and television, whilst Ralph returned to work. Or at least tried to, but there was too much going on in his brain. The girls were disappointed that Nolan would be late. He had classes and then needed to go back to his flat to pack. The landlord was clearly dead keen for him to go, the man had fallen over himself to expedite things and would be collecting the keys from Nolan that evening.

The girls’ excitement didn’t help Ralph’s mood. They wanted to stay up to see Nolan and were annoyed when Ralph said no. They did go to bed, eventually, but he was certain that at the first sound of Nolan’s voice, two little faces would appear. That didn’t happen, however; presumably the excitement had tired them out.

When Nolan finally arrived, Ralph helped him ferry his stuff in.

“Go OK with the landlord?”

“Fine. He couldn’t wait to get rid of me”, Nolan smiled. “Got my deposit back and an ex-gratia payment as thanks.”

“For?”

“Leaving early.”

“Christ, he’s keen. What does he plan to do with the flat?”

“You know, I don’t know, and I don’t care.”

Nolan had remarkably little stuff. It stacked up neatly in the corner of the bedroom.

“Where’s the rest of your things?”

“This is it. We have a storage cupboard at the community centre where the classes are and that has all my sports gear.”

“Bloody hell, I had more than this when I was a student.”

Nolan laughed, “I’ve always travelled light. There’s little you really need, and things are often just an encumbrance. There’s something about the clarity and simplicity of no clutter.”

Ralph shook his head, “Jesus. Don’t look inside my head.” The two laughed.

As they snuggled with a drink Ralph decided to get off his chest what was bothering him.

“Morrie rang this afternoon.”

“Maurice Ventura of Iverson’s?”

“The same. Some fussation about the website. But he’s seeing Russ Kahn tonight and”, Ralph gave a guilty shrug, “I mentioned you.”

“As in?” Nolan peered at him.

“Whether you could approach Russ Kahn for investment or a loan.”

“Maurice isn’t asking Russ Kahn, is he?”

“No. Just a general enquiry. If he gets positive noises, then we can take it further.”

“Or not.”

“Don’t you want to?”

“Have RK Enterprises take over the business? No thank you.”

“But if his investment meant…”

“Russ Kahn is never a sleeping partner. If he invests in a business, then he always takes an active interest in it. Besides he already has a significant interest in a gym, Parborough Perfect Fitness.”

Ralph wrinkled his brow, “Wouldn’t that be a good thing?”

“I wouldn’t want us swept up in that, cherry picking the things we do that fit their business model and dumping the rest.”

“You reckon?”

“It’s what I’ve heard, he’s done that to other businesses he’s acquired.”

“OK. Then I won’t mention it again, if Morrie comes back to me then I’ll say we’re thinking on it.”

“Thanks. By the way, I half expected to see the twins.”

Ralph laughed and explained.