Kept Boy to Made Man - 10. Interlude - Unwanted Son

A breath….

Unwanted Son

By Sam James

There is magic in a newborn’s first cry. His parents can’t help but feel overwhelming love for the tiny new human. That’s how it’s supposed to be, but sometimes those first cries are simply the herald announcing a lifetime of misery to a world that doesn’t want him. The child becomes another unwanted son.

This past Monday, Thomas Miller received his day in court. You may remember the name. It was in the news last February. Thomas Miller killed his own father with a baseball bat, striking him numerous times. At that time, details were scarce. Today, after telling his story, Thomas Miller is free.

The seventeen-year-old from Hyde Park was charged with second degree murder. He spent the past four months in the Cook County Jail while he waited to learn his fate; a teenager held without bail in a facility built for adults. During that time, no one bothered to ask him what really happened. If they had, this is what they would have heard:

“He was so mad, and he was screaming that he was going to kill us … he lunged at me again. I just reacted. I didn’t mean to kill him. I was so scared. I just reacted.”

Those were Thomas Miller’s words from the stand as he and almost everyone present dissolved into tears. Minutes later, the state dropped the charges against him. It seemed clear to all that the teenager had acted in self-defense.

I could tell you many of the details of Thomas Miller’s life, but I won’t for the sake of his privacy. I will say that the trial was just one more moment in a long line of painful life events. He has suffered both neglect and abuse from the family that should have loved him. The systems created to protect him chose to imprison, villainize, and prosecute the teenager instead.

Why? It’s simple. Thomas Miller is an unwanted son. Literally, no one in his life cared.

Those words are hard to read, aren’t they? For some like me they will feel too familiar, but for others they may seem difficult to believe.

I am tempted to write about the incredible injustice Thomas suffered. There is a part of me that wants to expose the legal system that allowed a teenager to suffer one-hundred-twenty-seven days in near isolation, only to later drop all charges; A system that assigned an attorney who only visited the boy twice, telling him on each occasion that he had no hope.

I could describe how the prosecution spent the entire morning portraying Thomas Miller as a violent and unstable threat to society using half-truths and complete lies. I am, however, most known to you as the author of an opinion column, so that is what I want to share. My opinion.

There should never be and unwanted son or an unwanted daughter. When a child’s family can’t or won’t love them, someone else should step in and take their place. I believe everyone should feel wanted.

Perhaps it is because I know what it feels like to be rejected by the very people who gave me life. Thomas Miller and I have that in common. I felt sorry for him as I watched Monday’s events unfold. Perhaps you do as well.

It is difficult to describe my emotions as I watched Thomas enter the courtroom. Apart from the hand cuffs and terrorized expression, he might have been a boy on his way to the prom. He was sharply dressed in a suit and tie. The blond, thin teen was handsome, in a way that is only possible for that short period of post adolescent youth. He was also incredibly alone.

A guard and a disinterested public defender were his only support. The courtroom was full of predatory expectation, but all I felt was inexplicable dread as I watched another unwanted sit in the surrounding hostility.

But then everything changed. Someone unexpectedly stood up for Thomas. That simple sounding action was a loud declaration. Son, you are not unwanted anymore. It was as if someone had finally heard Thomas Miller’s cries and responded as his family should have seventeen years ago.

A man in a position to help decided to act, to listen to the unwanted teen’s story and stand beside with him when no one else would. Thomas Miller was rescued by his new attorney who drew out the truth, saving the teen from almost certain conviction.

I watched the reactions in the courtroom when the state withdrew their charges. There was shock, but what I’ll always remember are the many looks of disappointment I saw. The courtroom cleared quickly as the jury was dismissed. Very few cared to know what would ultimately happen to Thomas Miller, despite crying minutes earlier over his words.

The trial was at an end, but for me, the story truly began in that moment. The lawyer had done his job, but he wasn’t done. Thomas is no longer unwanted. He has a job, the promise of an education, some money of his own, and a safe place to live. More importantly, Thomas Miller has a new, albeit unconventional family who obviously want him.

The seventeen-year-old left the courthouse an emancipated minor. Monday was quite literally the bookend of both his childhood and his life as an unwanted son. He walked into the afternoon sun surrounded by love, something he had never before experienced.

A happy ending, right? I hope so. But I can’t help but imagine the lasting scars his trauma has left. Will he be able to overcome his broken past to build a better future? Will the support of his chosen family be enough?

I’m left wondering about my role and yours in the lives of the unwanted. Will we follow the example I witnessed and stand with someone when no one else will? Will we say, “you are no longer unwanted. I will be your family, and you will be mine.”

Our community knows the pain of being unwanted more than most. Bemoaning injustice can’t be our only response. If Thomas Miller had been convicted, many would have been furious, but their emotions would not have reversed a prison sentence of several years to life. It took the proactive actions of a few to change the trajectory of Thomas Miller’s life.

I hope to play a life changing role in the life of an unwanted someday soon. Do you?

If you would like to support Thomas Miller’s future, a trust has been created at Chicago’s Indemnity Bank.