Poems for Ross - 8. words to tears

I feel unqualified to review. I have read all of the 'Poems for Ross', and I must admit some are over my head. These ones I get the most easily so far. I believe I understand the context of each one, and the messages are beautiful. 'Finis' confuses me. The three line indented chorus(?)... the last line... should 'what' be in the first one? , and should "that" actually be 'what' in the second? I hope I didn't offend you by asking... I am still ignorant of much when it comes to poetry. I hope I get to the point where some poetry doesn't eludes me... I really did like these, and I think I read your thoughts relatively clearly... cheers... Gary

On 08/27/2015 07:54 AM, Headstall said:

I feel unqualified to review. I have read all of the 'Poems for Ross', and I must admit some are over my head. These ones I get the most easily so far. I believe I understand the context of each one, and the messages are beautiful. 'Finis' confuses me. The three line indented chorus(?)... the last line... should 'what' be in the first one? , and should "that" actually be 'what' in the second? I hope I didn't offend you by asking... I am still ignorant of much when it comes to poetry. I hope I get to the point where some poetry doesn't eludes me... I really did like these, and I think I read your thoughts relatively clearly... cheers... Gary

Thanks for the review, Gary. Finis means 'the end' in Latin, and was a popular way to conclude books (and even movies) in the old days.

Thank you for reading them

So bittersweet, these poems. The longing but at the same time the safety in coveting from afar... Dreams of what could have been, but still too hesitant to act upon those feelings. They are very beautiful!

Now I also read them thinking about the prompt exercises. So much to learn.

I don't know whether there is a chronological order in the whole collection of Poems for Ross, but I assume there is.

These final ones have more of a feeling of resignation and as such are a worthy ending of the collection.

In the 19th poems the past tense is used ... the beginning of abandonment.
And isn't the very last line of the last poem in its unselfish wish both an adieu and the purest form of love ?

Needless to say these poems took me and others through a whole range of emotions and I'm so glad you shared them with us and in doing so had to re-live your own emotions as well.

Secretly I wish, that Ross will be visiting these pages at one time and see the passion he once unwittingly roused.

I don't know what to say to these last verses, AC. Am I sensing anger at Ross for the fact that he will never know what you felt...or anger at yourself for not taking that one chance? Did he meet an early death which cut off any chance of expressing your feelings for him, rather than just vanish from your life as sometimes happens with people we know?
I'm pre-occupied with death and loss of late...sadness, tears and regret are prominent, but there's a bit of anger at myself for not doing more to keep Bortai healthy. I know the vet said that cats are particularly good at hiding sickness, but I still think 'if only I'd done more...'
I hope Ross is still out there somewhere, and he might come across these verses some time--for the lost chance in my own past--my own Jay--it will never happen as he is no longer with us.
Warm and supportive hugs, my friend.

On 08/28/2015 12:05 AM, Puppilull said:

So bittersweet, these poems. The longing but at the same time the safety in coveting from afar... Dreams of what could have been, but still too hesitant to act upon those feelings. They are very beautiful!

 

Now I also read them thinking about the prompt exercises. So much to learn.

Thank you, Puppilull. Calling them beautiful is about the best thing I could hope for. As for guys falling in love, at least when these poems were written, unfortunately there was nothing safe in desiring from afar. It felt very dangerous indeed. I wish boys didn't have to experience the same form of anxiety I did, but I know it has not disappeared entirely.

Thanks once again for all of your support and comments!

On 08/28/2015 04:50 AM, J.HunterDunn said:

I don't know whether there is a chronological order in the whole collection of Poems for Ross, but I assume there is.

 

These final ones have more of a feeling of resignation and as such are a worthy ending of the collection.

 

In the 19th poems the past tense is used ... the beginning of abandonment.

And isn't the very last line of the last poem in its unselfish wish both an adieu and the purest form of love ?

 

Needless to say these poems took me and others through a whole range of emotions and I'm so glad you shared them with us and in doing so had to re-live your own emotions as well.

 

Secretly I wish, that Ross will be visiting these pages at one time and see the passion he once unwittingly roused.

Thank you, J.HunterDunn, for your review. As I suppose you know, I have been going through my old folder of verse and typing them up. What you probably do not know is that the Ross Poems have their own sleeve where I rather carefully 'collected' them and assigned numbers while I was writing them. They are chronological, and start from a couple weeks before my 20th birthday, to about three years later. The Finis was written before the last three of four poems, but since I specifically wrote the opening and concluding poems to serve a purpose, I left them in their intended positions.

I don't know if any of that is interesting to you, but what I find interesting is that you pointed out to me the shift in tenses. I had not quite realized that, but what you say about resignation seems exactly right to explain it. Ross was gone from me, so I began to lament instead of pine.

I would love for Ross to see these. Really love it if he could…

On 08/28/2015 07:55 AM, ColumbusGuy said:

I don't know what to say to these last verses, AC. Am I sensing anger at Ross for the fact that he will never know what you felt...or anger at yourself for not taking that one chance? Did he meet an early death which cut off any chance of expressing your feelings for him, rather than just vanish from your life as sometimes happens with people we know?

I'm pre-occupied with death and loss of late...sadness, tears and regret are prominent, but there's a bit of anger at myself for not doing more to keep Bortai healthy. I know the vet said that cats are particularly good at hiding sickness, but I still think 'if only I'd done more...'

I hope Ross is still out there somewhere, and he might come across these verses some time--for the lost chance in my own past--my own Jay--it will never happen as he is no longer with us.

Warm and supportive hugs, my friend.

Thank you once again, ColumbusGuy. As for anger, I certainly wasn't angry at him; if I was pissed at myself, I would like to think it was an indignant resentment that society said how I felt about him needed to be 'repressed.' Kowtowing to that lunacy makes one 'mad,' so perhaps that's the source of frustration you are picking up on.

Ross simply 'vanished' from my life because he transferred to another school.

BTW, these poems are not the only time I have written about the beautiful boy with the ashen-blond hair and the gray eyes. He appears in an anecdote that Josh relays to Billy in the second to last of my set of coming out tales, Becoming Real. That story is called In Six Hours, and the boys lay out on the hood of Josh's car, looking at the stars and city lights, and talking about regrets and missed opportunities of love. Please check it out. http://www.gayauthors.org/story/ac-benus/becomingreal/6

Thanks for all of your support!