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    Biff Spork
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental. Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Pig-Boy and The Insectorator - 21. Hypnocrids and Wiggles

When Jude rang the doorbell, there was no answer. Why wasn’t anyone answering the door? It irritated Jude because it had been a long ride. He had not phoned because he thought River would hang up. Being there in person would make it harder for River to be unfriendly.

Jude calculated that if he kept after River, he could get him back as a jerk-off buddy. He was easy to push around. He pressed the doorbell button again. He could hear it ringing inside the house, but there was no other sound of life. As he rode back toward the highway, he saw the lane leading to the Jameson pig barn. Perhaps River was doing something down there. At the barn, he didn’t see River, but there was a man on a ladder with a paintbrush.

“Hi, is River around?”

“No, he ain’t. Can you bring that can of paint up to me?”

Jude climbed the ladder and held out the paint can. The man dipped the brush and painted over a couple of letters in a sign.

“MACHT FREI.” Jude sounded the words out. “That’s weird. What does it mean?”

“It’s an insult, a dirty insult. It’s those bastards who don’t like people trying to earn an honest living raising animals, for food, so people don’t starve. They sneaked in here at night and painted this sign.”

“Yeah.” Jude nodded and held the can out for the brush to dip again. “Last month some of them snuck into our chicken barn and took some video. Next thing we knew, it was all over the internet, and people were moaning and crying about our chickens.”

“You Frank Bedford’s boy?”

“Yeah, he’s my dad.” Jude held the can out again. “I don’t understand those people. I mean, they like to eat chicken, but they get all weepy if they think the chickens are unhappy. They got their mouths full of chicken and tears rolling down their cheeks. They’re just hypnocrids.”


“Yeah, hypocrints. They’re talking out of the side of their mouth. My dad says they’re terrorists. They’re undermining our freedom. If we wanna eat chicken, that’s our business. Ain’t nobody gonna make him eat beans if he don’t want to.”

Art looked around and down at Jude. “Hey, it’s nice to meet a kid who’s got his head screwed on right. I’m River’s daddy. What’s your name?”

“Jude, Jude Bedford, sir. I’m pleased to meet you, Mr. Jameson.”

“Pleased to meet you too, Jude. Let’s get down and move this ladder over, so we can finish painting over this last word.”

“Hey, River gave me some of those prairie oysters you made. The deep-fried ones. They were really good. Thanks.”

“You liked ’em?”

“Yeah, they were great, kinda crunchy and juicy.”

“My boys get tired of ’em.”

“If they had to eat chicken every night, they might think different.”

“You eat a lot of chicken, I guess.”

“Yeah. I like it okay, but those little pig nuts were something else.”

“You should come over and help out when we’re castrating the piglets. You could earn a little money and take home as many of them oysters as you want.”

“Yeah, that’d be great, but I don’t know how to do it.”

“It’s not hard. Just pop ’em out and cut ’em off. It’s like picking cherries. River used to help us, but he got so he didn’t like it. He said the squealing bothered him. The piglets do scream bloody murder.”

“Oh, that wouldn’t bother me none. Chickens ain’t exactly quiet when you’re wringing their necks, so I’m pretty used to that kind of noise.” Jude held the bucket out for the brush. “I was real sad to hear about Ricky and Nicky.”

“Hey, thanks. They were the best boys a man ever had.” Art’s voice choked in his throat. “Nicky ain’t ever gonna be right again. Fucking pigs! I hate ’em!”

They climbed down, stood back, and surveyed the front of the building. Art cleared his throat and spat. “Damn! You can still see it, like a ghost sign. I’m gonna have to give it a second coat.”

“That’s too bad. It should be them who painted the sign who have to paint over it.”

“Yeah. But the police ain’t interested in that. They’d rather be handing out speeding tickets.” Art tapped the cap onto the paint can and wrapped the brush in a plastic bag. “Hey Jude, thanks for your help. If you wanna throw your bike in the back of the truck, we can go up to the house. I’ll give you a bag of those testicles to take home. The freezer’s full of ‘em.”

“That’s great, Mr. Jameson. I love those things!”


A honeybee landed on the tip of David’s nose. He shifted his position and opened his eyes.

Zhiv pulled him closer. “I feel so good sitting like this — should we have a wiggle?”

David giggled. “A wiggle? What’s a wiggle?”

Zhiv blushed. “You know, what we did yesterday, when we wiggled together and squirted that stuff all over each other.”

David smiled. “A wiggle! That’s the best name for it that I ever heard. A wiggle! I wanna do it again too, but I feel kinda shy doing it out here with all these people around. It looks like half the mara’s here. I’d rather do it in our bed in the cave, maybe after lunch. Then it can be only you and me.”

“Yeah. You’re right. It’s a private thing, but I like it a lot. Do you think we can do it every day?”

“I don’t know.” David kissed Zhiv’s neck. “We’ll have to look into that.”

David stood up, and Whem walked over to him. “Let’s go for a ride.” Whem knelt. The gray walked up and knelt for Zhiv.

When the stallion trotted, David felt as if every bone in his body was shaking out of its socket. He was happier when Whem shifted to a canter. The increased speed produced a light breeze that cooled him. Whem changed gears then and galloped. The steady thump of hooves hitting the grass punctuated the noon heat. They circled the meadow twice, but it was too hot for a long run.

The horses stopped to graze. David lay on his back on Whem and laughed with pleasure at the blue sky above.

“David! Look!”

Zhiv had succeeded in a headstand on the gray’s back. David clapped. Zhiv folded himself down, and the boys slid off the horses’ backs. They strolled across the meadow with their arms around each other’s shoulders.

“I’ve got a big tub of rice and beans in my pack. And for dessert, we have my second favorite sandwich, peanut butter and banana. How about we graze through all that and then have our wiggle?”

“What a great idea!”


Hector looked away from the powerful spotting scope on its tripod. The boys disappeared into the trees at the edge of the meadow. Celia lowered her binoculars.

“I’ve never seen a wolverine before,” said Hector.

“That animal like a small bear?”

“Yeah, they’re rare this far south. They have a reputation as particularly ferocious predators. And to see one resting like that, beside deer, goats and rabbits — it’s incredible.”

“All those animals, lying at peace around those boys, like they wanted to be close to them — it’s like a dream.” Celia rubbed her eyes. “The pigs nuzzled them.”

“And there were two boys, not just one.”

“The blonde boy is Sol. I don’t know who the black-haired boy is.” Celia looked down at her hands, then up at her companion. “Oh Hector, the butterflies! All those butterflies fluttering around them. There were butterflies on their heads and shoulders, and they accepted it, as if it was normal. That was the most beautiful thing I ever saw!” Celia spoke slowly as if she were waking up from a deep sleep.

“I feel the same, but for me it was when they galloped around the meadow. They didn’t even seem to be holding on. It was as if they were floating on the backs of those horses. Then they stopped, and that black-haired boy threw his head back and laughed.” Hector looked up into the sky. “He looked so fearless and joyful.”

“And the way they held each other, the gentleness of their caresses…. They may only be kids, but I’ve never seen such loving behavior, such tenderness.” Celia’s voice caught in her throat. “What are we going to do? Hector, what are we going to do?”

Hector looked over into a face filled with distress and knew that his own mirrored it.

“This is terrible,” said Celia. “We have to do something, but anything we do is going to destroy what we just saw. And what we saw was so beautiful, it would be worse than a sin to destroy it.”

Hector looked over Celia’s shoulder. A surprisingly large mountain goat poked at the stony incline with a front hoof. He grunted and lowered his head to display sharp, black horns. “Don’t look now, Celia, but we have company, a mean-looking mountain goat.”

“Yeah, there’s an angry bighorn ram coming up behind you, too.”

“I bet if we just head back down the way we came, they’re not gonna bother us.”


Pete waited at Hector’s campsite for a half hour. Then he tried to phone Hector again. He heard Hector’s phone ringing inside his camper. Pete liked the professor. He had felt an immediate rapport when they first met, and Pete wanted to get to know him better. He scribbled a note and left it on the camper door.

While Pete drove back to the sheriff’s headquarters, he thought about the blonde boy, Sol Mundy. He recalled Evan Large’s regrets about the events that led to the boy’s disappearance. Pete again was struck by how familiar the story seemed. Then he remembered Sol’s reaction to the pig shed. It was the same as David’s when Pete had taken him fishing. It was an intense identification with the suffering of animals. Sol was a vegan, and David was too. Sol seemed to be living up on Jana Mountain, and David liked to spend a lot of time up there.

When Pete got back to the office, he checked Sol’s file. The boys were born in the same year. David had just turned thirteen, and Sol would be thirteen in a few weeks. He remembered David’s question, “What if it’s a boy?” Pete examined all the coincidences again. Everything fell into place. He knew what he had to do.

The stack of animal incident reports had grown while Pete was out at the park. The most recent reports were worrisome. They seemed to be random. They were not attacks on humans in defense of an animal. They were simply attacks on humans. In town, two high-school boys were playing catch in one boy’s back yard. Suddenly a raccoon leaped from a tree onto one of the boys. It bit and clawed him on the face before fleeing. A pensioner walking his dog was stung over fifty times by hornets. A man chopping wood outside his lakeside cabin was badly mauled by a bear.

Other parts of the state described attacks by swarms of horseflies, wasps and bees. There were many of these. Reports from more distant areas included several in Spanish, from Mexico. Others came from Canada. Whatever it was, it was spreading rapidly.

Most of the incidents involved wild animals, but domestic animals were not immune. A dairy farmer tried to separate a new-born calf from its mother. He was badly butted and trampled by other cows. Two riding stables experienced events when hitherto docile horses had kicked clients. One of the horses, a gelding, had kicked his would-be rider in the groin with extreme force. This damaged the man’s scrotum beyond repair. Doctors had to remove what little remained.

In the southeast, alligator attacks on suburbanites were breaking records. An alligator lurking in a golf course water hazard killed a caddie. A congregation of the reptiles had snatched two canoeists from their canoes. They dragged the victims underwater. Rescuers had recovered the partly consumed remains of one body.


When they had eaten the last sandwich, the boys grinned at each other.

“Time to wiggle!” cried Zhiv. They raced for the cave entrance.

Later, David said, “That was so good, even better than yesterday.”

“Mmmm. I love wiggling.”

David rolled over onto his back. “You know when I told you about those boys who bullied me in the gravel pit?”


“One of them, River Jameson, has come to see me a couple of times. He’s the one who got bit by the rattlesnakes. He said he was sorry for what he did and asked me to forgive him. He actually got right down on his knees.”


“He seems like a nice kid now. He acts like he wants to be my friend, but I don’t know if I should trust him. He wants to come up here with me.”

“Does he know about me?”

“No, he doesn’t know anything about us, or the mara or anything.” David rolled onto his side to face Zhiv. “He decided to become a vegan, but that was only a couple of days ago. My mom likes him. What should I do?”

“I can’t tell you what to do. You’re much better at thinking than I am. But I can tell you what I would do. And I can tell you what I think about bringing someone else up here.”

“Go ahead, please.”

“Okay. You know how in the mara everything is true. You can’t lie in the mara. You can’t pretend to be something you’re not. What I would do is get real close to him, then go into the mara, and try to see him there. Try to feel him there.”

David scratched his head. “You can do that, but…”

“So can you,” said Zhiv. “You’re just about as strong in the mara now as I am. If he’s changed, if he could be one of us, you’ll be able to tell.”

“What about bringing him up here? What about you? What about us?”

Zhiv pulled David into a tight embrace. “I know I’d be perfectly happy if I never saw anyone besides you, but we need friends too. Maybe River could be the first. I like his name: River. That’s nice.”

“Can he share everything with us? What if he wants to wiggle?”

“Oh! Yeah! I never thought about that. I don’t know. I can’t imagine loving anyone the way I love you, and wiggling is part of that. I’ve never thought about wiggling with anyone else.”

“Me neither, but it wouldn’t be fair to him if we wanted to wiggle and he did too, and we just told him to sit outside by himself. I don’t know if I want to wiggle with him, but I don’t want to be mean like that either.”

“Let’s not decide now. There’s no rush. Sit with him in the mara, maybe two or three times. Sit with him until you get a clear feeling of what he’s like inside, but don’t tell him anything or bring him up here right away. Maybe let him see Kek or Lilili. They’re good judges of what a person is like.”

“That’s a good plan. I knew you would have a good idea.”

“Now let’s see if we can have another wiggle. C’mon, kiss me. I love it when you kiss me. Then I’ll kiss you all over. Then we can wiggle.”

“We only have about an hour…”

“We’ll have to rush it a bit then. Let’s get started.”


Hector and Celia talked it through as they made their way back to the campsite. They agreed that neither of them would reveal what they had seen that afternoon. They wanted to contact the boys and talk to them, maybe help them if they needed anything. The boys clearly had an extraordinary relationship with animals. It was the opposite of what was happening everywhere else. Hector felt certain they could offer insight into all the hostile animal incidents. The main problem was how to contact the boys. Neither he nor Celia was able to come up with a way to do that.

Hector read the note Pete had left on his camper door.

“It’s from Pete McAdam. He came out here to see me today. He says he needs to talk to me, and it’s important. He invites me to come to his house and have dinner with him and his family tonight.”

“Oh.” Celia’s face fell. She had been looking forward to her date with Hector. After what she had seen that day, she wanted to be with Hector that night.

“Hey, you know Pete. There’s no reason we both can’t go. It’s not some kind of formal thing. Let me give him a call and make sure it’s okay. If not, I’ll meet Pete tomorrow, and tonight, you and I will find a restaurant with some good food and a good bottle of wine.”

Hector retrieved his phone from his camper and called the deputy. Pete assured him that Celia would be welcome.

Hector said, “Pete, I always like to warn people that I’m not a very good guest. I’m a strict vegan. I don’t mean you have to cook something special for me, just that I only eat vegetables or plants.” He waited for the uncertainty that usually followed this disclaimer.

Pete laughed. “You’ll be in good company then, Hector. This is a vegan house.”

“Wonderful! I’ve been vegan for years and Celia’s been vegetarian since she was a girl. It’s great you’re vegan, Pete. See you at seven.”


“Hi Mrs. McAdam. Is David home?”

“Hi River. No, he’s not here yet, but come in. You wanna do some more cooking while we wait for him?”

“That’d be great!”

“We’re gonna have company for supper tonight, so I have to cook more than usual. I hope you can eat with us too?”

“I don’t wanna be any trouble. I been eating here a lot.”

“River, you’re trying to be a vegan. I know that’s hard for a kid, so I’m happy when you can join us for a meal. Anyway, it helps us get to know you better.”

“Thanks. It’s nice for me to get to know you, too. I really like it here. You got a nice house.”

“Thank you, River. Okay. You already had guacamole here, and hummus. There’s another kind of dip I often make called baba ghanoush. I already did the first part, but maybe you can do the rest. These are roasted eggplants. I want you to peel them and mash them into this bowl.”

Doreen laid out the other ingredients. River stirred them in while Doreen told him the amounts needed.

“What’s this?” River held up a jar of tahini.

“Tahini. It’s like peanut butter only it’s ground up sesame seeds instead of ground peanuts.”

When River had mixed in the last ingredient, Doreen handed him a spoon. “Okay, now taste it and tell me what you think.”

David came into the kitchen and hugged Doreen. “Hey, River.”

“Hi David.” River licked the spoon. “That is so good!”

“Baba ghanoush! My favorite!” cried David. He reached a finger towards the bowl.

Doreen pushed his hand back. “No fingers in the food. We’re having guests tonight for supper.”

“River’s a kid, not a guest. He’s like us.”

River blushed.

“Yeah,” said Doreen. “But there’s some other people coming that your dad knows from work. We’re not gonna be eating till later, around seven-thirty, so you and River can share this, until then.” She handed a plate of pita bread and a small bowl of the baba ghanoush to David.

“C’mon, Riv! Let’s skedaddle outta here!”

‘Riv!’ thought River, and smiled. He followed David as he ran up the stairs, two at a time.

David dropped his pack and flopped onto the bed. “I’m beat. This hot weather is too much. Even with an e-bike, I get tired of pedaling. We should have got something to drink from the kitchen. What’s up with you, River?” David pulled his shoes and socks off.

“I went to the mall today and got some information on e-bikes, but I still don’t know much about them. I thought maybe you could tell me the best kind to buy.” River dug some e-bike makers’ information pages from his pocket.

David sat up. “River, you’re a dream come true. Last night you asked me about veganism, and tonight, here you are asking me about my second passion, e-bikes! Okay, here’s a deal: you go downstairs and beg my mom for two glasses of her iced tea with lots of ice cubes. I wanna jump in the shower. By the time you get back, I’ll be cleaner and cooler. We can talk about e-bikes and other stuff while we demolish this baba ghanoush. Okay?”

River thought, ‘other stuff?’ as he went downstairs. He wasn’t worried. He always felt good in this house.

Ten minutes later, he returned with two tall glasses beaded with condensation. David was standing naked, looking critically at a pair of skimpy shorts. He held them up for River’s inspection.

“What do you think, River? I want to wear as little as possible but still be socially acceptable.”

“Just my opinion, but those shorts are too small to wear with guests. Find some that are longer and add a T-shirt.”

David donned the satiny, lightweight shorts and laid out a longer pair and a clean T-shirt. “These shorts will do for now. I’ll change when we go down for supper.” He strolled over to the window and opened it as wide as possible. “I love this upstairs bedroom, but it gets so hot in summer.” He turned to River. “You can take off your T-shirt if you like. You’ll be more comfortable, and I won’t feel like such a nudist. Okay?” He downed half of his iced tea.

River shucked his T-shirt.

“I’ll tell you a secret,” said David. “If you take off your shoes and socks too, you’ll feel a lot cooler.

“You’re right.” River flexed his toes. “It lets the air get to the tootsies.”

“The ‘tootsies!’” David snickered and sprawled crosswise on his bed. “Okay, c’mere with your tootsies, and show me those e-bike pamphlets you brought.”

David put the last pamphlet down and looked at River. “You’re a little bigger than I am, and you’ve got more muscles, but there’s not really much difference between us. All these bikes look pretty good, but I still think the best is the same as I’ve got. It isn’t the cheapest, but I really like it. It’s got a big battery, so you can ride it for a long time without worrying you’re gonna have to pedal it home without any power.”

“Thanks, David.”

“So, are you gonna buy one, or what?”

“I hope so. I’ve got some money saved up, and maybe I can get the rest from my dad.”

“Hey, after supper we can go for a little ride. You can ride my e-bike and see if you like it.”

“That would be great.”

They finished the baba ghanoush in silence.

David put the empty plate and bowl on his desk. “I said I wanted to talk to you about some other stuff.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“You ever see that series, ‘Star Trek?’”


“I mean the old one, the original one?”

“Yeah. My brother, Aaron, is a trekkie, and we watch them together sometimes.”

“Sometimes Spock does a thing — the ‘Vulcan mind-meld.’ He joins his mind to someone else’s mind.”

“Yeah, I saw one like that. He kinda puts his hand on someone’s face.”

“I know it’s weird, but I wanna try that with you. I don’t mean the hand on the face part but just the mind-meld.”

“Whatever you want to do, David, I’m okay with it.”

David pushed the pamphlets to one side. “Okay, Riv. Scooch over here right up close beside me so our skin is touching as much as possible. C’mon, put your arm around my neck, like this. Get comfortable. I want us to lie like this for ten or fifteen minutes. You okay?” He tapped his toes on the top of River’s foot.

River tapped back against David’s toes. “Yeah. I’m okay.” For River, to be so close to David was like the fulfillment of a dream.

“Okay. Just close your eyes and drift. Focus on where we’re touching, what it feels like. Don’t try to make anything happen. Just watch the pictures in your mind come and go.”

River slid a hand inside his shorts. He needed to adjust the erection that had swollen up from so much skin-to-skin contact with David. He sneaked a glance at David, afraid that he might have noticed.

David smiled at him as he eased his own erection upright. It made a bump in the silky shorts he was wearing. “Don’t worry about that, River. It happens. It’s natural. It’s a good sign that maybe we can mind-meld. Now close your eyes, and watch what you see and feel in your mind.”

Copyright © 2023 Biff Spork; All Rights Reserved.
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I write in order to be read, and I hunger for feedback - negative, positive, or indifferent. Please share your thoughts on this story in a review, a comment or send me a personal message. I will reply.

Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental. Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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Chapter Comments

Things are coming together. Celia and Hector see Zhiv and David acting carefree surrounded by supportive beings in nature, Thye like what they see and hate to hurt the boys. They are confused. Now they will be surprised to meet David at dinner tonight. The conversation should be very enlightening for all. The secret of Zhiv should come out, I bet.

Zhiv and David talk about River. Zhiv suggests David take River into the mara a few times to see if he is truthful and wants to help them. David starts before dinner, Zhiv says they need more friends.

Sadly, animals are now attacked and killing humans. No one knows why. Maybe, Zhiv needs to get his message out.

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BTW--I love the term "wiggles" for frotting.

It is so innocent and charming and a special term right now just for David and Zhiv.

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Posted (edited)

The boys are all getting closer. Jude’s attitude is worrisome though. Zhiv’s idea of sitting in the Mara with River for David to asses him is a good one. Looking forward to seeing what happens at dinner when Hector and Celia find that David is Pete’s son, who they saw playing on the mountain earlier in the day…

Edited by VBlew
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@scrubber6620Thanks - glad you enjoyed "wiggles." ("Frottage" always sounds kind of messy. Of course it is ultimately messy, but the wiggling part is more fun.)

@VBlewYes, it promises to be an interesting dinner - more interesting than anyone expects!

Edited by Biff Spork
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15 hours ago, scrubber6620 said:

BTW--I love the term "wiggles" for frotting.

It is so innocent and charming and a special term right now just for David and Zhiv.

I had to laugh @scrubber6620and @Biff Spork as The Wiggles are a popular children's entertainment group formed in my hometown, Sydney, Australia, in 1991. I believe they are known internationally so you both may have heard of them, depending on your country of residence.

It seems with some of the attacks the animals are starting to mimic human behaviour i.e. random attacks for no apparent reason. I can understand the attack on the farmer trying to separate the calf from its mother and the alligator attacks, but the raccoon attack seemed totally unprovoked. I cannot find fault with the animals for doing this though as they have been under attack from humans for such a long time.

Celia had an epiphany; she is conflicted with what to do about Zhiv (Sol). Professionally she wants to swoop in and rescue him, personally she is challenging the notion he needs rescuing. As noted by @scrubber6620 in his first comment above, both Hector and Celia will be pleasantly surprised when they meet David at dinner tonight.

I am eager to see what Pete is going to say to David now he has concluded David is visiting Jana Mountain to meet with Zhiv (Sol). I don't believe Pete will have any "moral" objection to any relationship which may be forming between the two; I think his overriding concern will be for the safety of David, and also the safety of Zhiv. He knows only too well the pressure that is being applied by parties with vested interests to "sort out this animal problem".

I hate both Art Jameson and Jude Bedford, but for some reason I felt some sadness for each in this chapter. Art's world is falling apart and I think he knows it. He knows no other way to live than how he has been living. Jude has little to redeem himself and is inherently a horrible person, but he has also been influenced by his upbringing and knows no other way to live. I won't be sad though if any of the animals have the opportunity to turn on either or both of them, especially Jude. 

@Biff SporkI don't recall ever reading a story with so much conflicting beauty and ugliness, sanity and insanity, and love and hate. It is truly wonderful, stimulating and inspirational, soothing and traumatising. I have also learned a bit about myself reading this wonderful tale, and some of what I have learned (or perhaps it would be more accurate to say had reinforced) is not necessarily attractive. I am my own harshest critic (as I am so often reminded by friends and colleagues) so am trying to "be kind to myself" for my perceived imperfections (I have not been able to give up dairy cheese, but have reduced my consumption noticeably).

Edited by Summerabbacat
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I'd be surprised if River will be able to relax his mind enough to allow David to meld whilst the two boys are in such close physical contact,

And it is likely to be an interesting dinner.

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@Marty "And it is likely to be an interesting dinner." Yes! Everybody knows something but nobody knows everything and they're all in for a real surprise.

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