The Modern Love Waltz - 4. Chapter 4

4: A Return

The afternoon of my birthday I called Coach Dunham. He was not happy. But he told me that D.C. United would only be waiting another week or so before they'd give up on me. I don't know why that didn't convince me to leave right away, but it didn't. I stayed.

My parents did leave that afternoon. I stayed with Pops all day. At around 8 he told me he was going to sleep, so I left for the rental house. The events of the day swarmed in my head causing a haze and I suppose my mind went on autopilot. It wasn't until I stepped out of my car that I noticed I was at Teeny and Joe's.

I walked in and was greeted solemnly by the bar patrons. I had seen them all earlier today at the funeral. Every single person had attended. At the bar I saw Zach. I swallowed. He had been at the funeral, but I hadn't really talked to him since last night. The same empty stool stood next to him. I sat on it, "Hey."

"Hey dude," he replied. It seemed as though he was blocking out last night's event.

I ordered a drink from Bill. He handed me the drink while simultaneously wishing me a happy birthday. "And the drink is on the house!" He added.

I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned and saw a tall guy that looked about my same age. He was wearing a gray shirt that simply said ARMY in black lettering. "Hey, I wanted to say I was sorry to hear about Jane. I just wished I could have seen her before I got home." His voice was deep and his southern accent was very strong.

"Oh well thank you," I said attempting to feign recognition. "I'm sorry, I don't think we've met."

He smiled, "Oh, I'm Beau. I just served a tour of duty in Iraq. I got back on Friday. When I came to the bar you had already come and went."

I was shocked, I had no idea he even existed, "Well thank you. Did you know my grandmother?"

"Yeah. And me and you have met..." he began, but he seemed to give up. "It was a long time ago."

I was embarrassed. "Oh, I'm sorry, I don't recognize you."

He rubbed the back of his buzz cut and chuckled, "don't worry about it. I'll see you around." With that he left and sat down at a table with three others that seemed to be our age as well.

Those three I recognized instantly, Wes, Billy, and Chris. The three of them were sort of a gang. They had been known to bully and rumor had it that they were pretty ruthless. I had only met them once before.

Once my glass had been drained, I decided I was too tired, or something. I don't know what was going on, all I knew was that I didn't want to be in the bar anymore. "I'm going to head out."

"I'll leave with you," Zach said grabbing his glass and gulping down the remnants of beer.

As I opened the door to the bar, something inside me clicked. Once outside I grabbed Zach and we slipped behind the bar. With my hand still resting on his shoulder, "Listen, I want to know what happened last night."
"Nothing. It was a mistake, we were both drunk. Just forget it," Zach eyes were different. He looked almost hostile.

I took my hand from his shoulder, "Fine." I guess I wished that he would say something that helped me make sense of everything.

What I had neglected to notice was someone spying on us. I guess he had come out for fresh air or something, but Chris had seen the entire thing. Who could know what he heard, but he got the idea of what was going on.

*~*~*

I had decided to walk home because I needed to think and I was afraid of driving in my current state.

"Hey fag!"

I turned to see Wes, Billy, and Chris in a large black pickup truck. "Why don't you join us?" They said as Chris opened the back door.

This was where I made a mistake, "Fuck off!"

"Did you hear that?" Wes laughed, "The fairy thinks he has balls."

"Not for long," Billy's voice added. He had the scariest persona of all of them. His monotone voice was low and dark.

They pulled their truck off to the side of the road and they all got out of it. By this time I assumed if I just kept walking they would leave me alone. But that was wishful thinking. As I walked away a painful blow smacked the back of my head.

I managed to keep my balance. Having been in sports all my life I figured I could put up some sort of fight. I turned around and swung a fist at Chris. It made contact with his cheek. However that just allowed Wes to grab my left arm.

As I struggled to free my arm, Chris recovered and grabbed my other arm. Billy cracked his knuckles, "Fucking faggot."

He began to punch me. I tried to fight, but I couldn't muster enough strength to take on all three of them. After countless blows to my stomach and side, Billy started punching my head. I blacked out.

I figured once I was down all three took turns kicking.

*~*~*

I opened my eyes. The sky was still dark. I was in some of the worst pain I had ever felt. The pain only got worse once I felt my body being dragged. I tried to move my head to see what was going on but nothing happened. At this point I began to pray. I closed my eyes and tried to play dead.

I felt my body being lifted and placed inside what seemed to be the back seat of a car or truck. Oh God, they're gonna kill me. I thought.

I heard the truck start. At this point I had run out of energy, and somehow, against my best efforts, I managed to fall asleep.

*~*~*

Again my eyes opened. I was inside. I felt softness under my back. I was on a bed. I heard a noise in the other room. Someone walked into the room I was in and asked, "Hey, are you awake?"

I was expecting a malicious, threatening voice. Instead this voice sounded legitimately worried. I couldn't place it but it was familiar. I tried to push my body up to see who was in the room, but the pain shot through my body and I fell back shouting in pain as I did.

"Don't try to move, you'll hurt yourself!" The voice said as it came closer.

As he came into my peripheral, I instantly recognized the voice. It was Beau from the bar. "Beau?" I managed to whisper.

He rubbed the back of his head like he had in the bar, "Yeah, I did the best I could to patch you up."

"Patch..." I questioned as I looked down at my body. Beau had taken off my shirt. I had some gashes on my chest that were being covered with gauze. I saw that blood had dropped onto the white covers of the bed. "I'm bleeding on your bed..." I managed to choke.

"Don't worry. How do you feel?" He asked as he sat in the chair placed next to the bed.

I began to remember what had happened earlier this night. Now I saw that they did more than kick once I blacked out. They must have had knives. "I feel like shit."

"I can take you to a hospital... I just thought..." Beau stopped, his face flushing.

"What?"

"Well, I didn't know if you wanted people knowing why you got beat up."

I felt my stomach sink and I had to swallow. My voice cracked as I spoke, "What do you mean?"

"Well you got beat up because you're gay. But you don't put it out there," Beau said quickly, as if the phrase had been a band aid.

I couldn't answer at first. I didn't want to admit anything just yet. I wasn't ready, "I'm not gay."

Beau's face flushed even redder this time. "Oh. I heard the three of them talking in the bar. I just assumed. That's how I knew to come find you."

Finally everything clicked. Anger filled my consciousness, "Wait! So you knew what they were going to do and you didn't stop them!" As I shouted I felt a searing pain from my abdomen.

Beaus face impossibly turned a darker crimson. "I... I..."

"Fuck!" I screamed in response to the pain.

"Okay! I'll take you to the hospital."

Moment of truth. It was upon me and I made the decision. "NO! Don't..."

Beau had stood up and froze when I spoke. "Don't?"

I don't know what it was that night that made me say this, but for the second time this evening I lost control of my own body, "I am gay."