The Modern Love Waltz - 5. Chapter 5

5: Second Sighting

"Oh..." Beau's hand rubbed the back of his head, this nervous tick of his becoming apparent.

I felt warm tears filling my eyes. Now that I was almost completely sober I knew what was happening. I guess I had always known this could be the truth, but never I had I faced it like this before. I had never said it aloud. "Please..." I whispered, my speech causing my throat to clench up. "Please don't tell anyone."

"Don't worry about that... You're secret's safe with me," Beau replied. Suddenly he seemed a lot less comfortable around me.

However with that admission and the following comforting phrase from Beau, my energy gave out once again and I slipped into sleep.

*~*~*

The room was soaked in sunlight when I awoke. I looked down at my chest. The bandages had been changed, they were no longer soaked in blood. The bedspread below me however had gone from white to crimson.

I felt better, and found that I could sit up with a lot less pain than I had experienced the night before. I turned my head to the chair that Beau had occupied last night. He was still sitting there, however his head rested on his palm and his breathing was that of someone asleep.

As I pulled my legs to the side of the bed, he jostled awake. "Sam!"

"Hey," I replied as I sucked in a breath.

"How are you feeling?" Beau asked, his voice still worried.

"Ehhh, as good as can be expected."

As I slid my feet to the ground I attempted to stand, Beau instantly jumped up from his seat and wrapped his arm around my back to help stabilize me. I felt pain in my knees which would have probably caused me to buckle initially if he had not been there.

"I got you," Beau said as he held my weight.

"How did you learn how to patch up wounds like that? Were you a medic?" I asked as I took my first step.

"No. I'm not very bright," Beau replied seemingly ashamed. "I just saw how they did it in Iraq."

"Oh, well you saved my life. I will always be in debt to you."

Beau chuckled, "Naw, don't worry about it." His voice then became very serious, "I'm the one that failed you initially. I should have tried to stop them. I'm sorry."

Now my face flushed. I remembered yelling at him the night before, "They could have gotten us both if you had tried to help, then we both would have been screwed. I'm sorry for how I behaved last night."

"Aw, well as long as you're okay," Beau sighed.

Silence fell between us. I couldn't think of anything to say. I turned away from him briefly. When I faced him again his eyes locked onto mine. Something in me stirred, something familiar. I had felt it the night with Zach. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised that I was starting to have feelings for Beau. He had saved my life, and he was clearly extraordinarily attractive. But all my life I had been so used to ignoring these types of feelings.

Our faces slowly tilted towards each other as he sat me on the bed. I couldn't believe this was happening again, so soon. However, before our lips met Beau turned his head away from me. Now I was staring at the back of his head. Carefully I reached up and turned his head to face me. It revealed a pained face with tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I asked knowing full well what he was feeling.

"I can't do it..." He choked. "I just..."

"It's okay... don't worry," I said as I rubbed his shoulder. "Nothing has to happen."

"I'm not gay," Beau continued. "I can't be... I'm not."

"Beau..." I began. Before I could even begin to try to console him, I felt his hand grab the back of my head. His touch was strong and forceful. He pulled my face towards his and it began.

At first I didn't really know what was happening but as our kiss continued, the reality of the situation became more and more apparent. Eventually my mind let go of the thoughts and analysis of the situation and my passion took over. I let everything go, the attack, the town, my family, and even Zach. All that was left was Beau.

It was pretty surprising how good at kissing Beau was. I assume he was a heartthrob throughout his high school days. He probably had girls on each arm constantly. After some unknown amount of time, Beau broke the kiss. His eyes were closed but as our faces parted, the eyelids fluttered open.

He stared into my eyes, his face still showing streaks of tears. At first he looked happier than I had seen him yet, but his expression fell. He seemed disappointed in himself. I could tell he was already kicking himself for this decision. His hands disconnected with my body and he took a step back. For the first time since the kiss our eyes broke contact. He turned his whole body away from me in shame.

I couldn't decide whether or not to console him or to keep my mouth shut. That's when I realized that I think too much and that I should just do what I feel. I hated seeing Beau like this. It was strangely reminiscent of Zach and I didn't want to repeat my prior mistakes.

As my palm rested gently on his shoulder, he shuddered. "Oh my god! You're shaking!" I exclaimed. "Beau!"

I opened my arms for him. He gratefully leaned into my arms. I wrapped my arms around him as best as I could, his muscles were larger than I had gauged. Once my arms settled around him, he broke down. The tears began to pour from his eyes again. He began to sob. I had forgotten about my pain, and yet, my pain no longer seemed to matter anyways.

It felt strange, trying to comfort Beau. He was bigger than I. His muscles continually reminded me that I was consoling a man. Coming to terms with my sexuality was proving to be an awkward and difficult sensation.

"Sam?" Beau's voice sounded distant and was reminiscent of a child.

"Yeah?" I whispered.

"Please don't tell anyone," Beau choked.

I squeezed him closer, "Don't worry about that. No one ever has to know."

After twenty minutes of embracing Beau sat back, and began to collect himself. With a more composed face he asked, "How are you feeling?"

I had forgotten about my wounds, "I'm fine, don't worry about me."

"Do you think you can walk?" He asked reaching a hand out to help me up.

"Will you catch me if I fall?" I asked grinning slightly.

"I'll be right behind you," Beau said, his smiling returning. His tear stained cheeks now pushed up into a bright smile. I grasped his outstretched hand and together we managed to hoist me out of the bed. I took a few steps with his arm around my torso. I was beginning to feel much better.

I walked to the door frame of the room and leaned against it. "How's that?"

"Good," Beau laughed. "I imagine you must be hungry."

Once the word hungry was said I felt my stomach grumble. "Oh... yeah, I am."

"What do you want for breakfast?" Beau asked meting me in the doorway. He reached his arm around me and helped me through the hallway into the kitchen where he sat me down at a small wood table.

"I'll have whatever," I replied.

"I'll make eggs!" Beau smiled.

"You don't have to go through all this trouble!" I stressed.

"I want to. Eggs?"

I gave up, "eggs sound great."

*~*~*

Beau drove me to my car which was still parked at Teeny and Joes. From there we drove to the rental house in tandem, he wanted to make sure I got there okay. As I stepped out of my truck I motioned for Beau to join me. After a moment of hesitation he turned off his truck and followed me into the rental house.