Toy Soldiers - 10. Chapter 10

His bruises had largely faded and his cuts healed enough to not break with movement. Sage was still sore, however, from training. He had been given 48 hours to recover from his last treatment. I had applied first aid, anti-biotic creams to his cuts and patched him as best I could. I had wept as he slept, cursing them for taking some of his beauty and dreading India's turn. At least Brunswick would care for him – we took turns.

Now, he was just sore. I wet my hands on a cloth and pushed and stretched the overworked muscles in Sage's back. He groaned, but lay still. He'd been moving gingerly and had confessed that his back was bothering him. I knew muscles sometimes froze in place after a treatment like that and told him I could help. He looked at me as if he'd expected no answer other than that.

And so I pushed on his back, rubbing and warming the muscles. Then he spoke, down at the palllet to hide his lips, but I heard.

“I saw two of the other squad, without their helmets.”

I allowed my lips to part so I could speak, but not move my lips.

“Oh?” It wasn't unheard of, but it was exceedingly rare.

“One boy...his face...”

“Yes?”

“I can't forget it.”

“Why?”

“He was so...”

“Beautiful?”

“Yes. That's the word.”

“What was his number?”

“B-322. His name is Sky.”

“That is good,” I replied. “That is good.”

Sage

I woke with a splitting headache to find Harley’s friend, Cass, smiling down at me. His appearance was different than the boys I’d known, he wasn’t a soldier like us. His brown hair wasn’t too long but it was shaggy and unkempt. His brown eyes were warm and friendly not haunted like those of my squad mates. I couldn’t tell much about his body, his clothes were baggy, but he didn’t have the hard lines of a Green. He was pretty in a way I hadn’t thought of since the last time I cast my eyes on B-322, Sky.

“Hey you’re awake,” he smiled.

“What happened?” I groaned.

“The treatment the unnamed gave you,” said Harley coming into view. “It was a tracking device. I had to run an electric current through your system in order to destroy it.”

“I didn’t know, Harley, I swear…” I started.

“Calm down Sage, I believe you,” Harley patted my chest. “We had to evacuate once your link to the Corporation was severed. It was too dangerous to remain at the group home.”

“Where are we?”

“An abandoned storage facility along the river,” said Harley.

“Shouldn’t we be moving?” I sat up and my head swam as I slumped against the wall.

“I could only carry you so far and as you can see you need to rest. We’ll hole up here for the day. I’ve got to take care of a situation tonight and then we’ll move out at first light,” Harley explained.

“Um, can I ask a question?” said Cass.

“Of course, we’re in this together now,” said Harley.

“Right,” Cass smiled. The look he gave Harley spoke to the camaraderie between them. It made me miss Brunswick, Celadon, India and the rest. “So you think the Corporation came after us the moment Sage’s tracker went dead?”

“It is logical. Once the signal was lost they would have no way to track his movements. They would have to hunt him and would not waste time lest he get too great of a head start,” Harley explained.

“So they’re here now?” said Cass. “In town I mean.”

“Likely as not,” said Harley.

“How would they go about looking for us?” asked Cass. I decided to field that one; I’m the scout after all.

“They would search the home and then the surrounding neighborhood. If we weren’t spotted in the first hour they would begin to scour the routes out of town.”

“So they’d expect us to hit the road?”

“Yes,” Harley and I replied in unison.

“Then why don’t we stay here?”

“What do you mean?” said Harley.

“If they’re going to be looking for us on the roads, why don’t we take an extra day, hang out here and let the net pass over us?” Cass suggested.

“Hmm,” said Harley, a look of deep concentration on his face. “It would give me an opportunity to say goodbye to Tim.”

“Who is Tim?” I asked.

“A squad mate, er… a boy I’ve come to care about like a squad mate,” said Harley. “He’s in danger but I’ll take care of that tonight.”

“Do you need my help? I can…” I began.

“No. I need you to protect Cass while I’m away.”

“Hey, I’m not some damsel in distress you know?” Cass protested.

“No, Cass, you aren’t. But you’re also not a trained killer like we are,” Harley sighed. “I need to rest. Cass you have the watch, wake me if you see anyone.”

“Yeah, ok,” Cass nodded.

We sat quietly for a moment but as Harley’s breathing became slow and rhythmic, Cass turned his gaze on me.

“Was he serious, you’ve really killed people?”

“The Corporation pits us against each other, squad against squad, in training. Sometimes boys are wounded in the exchanges…I don’t enjoy doing it,” I sighed.

“No of course you wouldn’t. They make you do it.”

“Yes.”

An awkward silence fell over us as Cass digested the fact he was with two boys who had taken the lives of others and my thoughts briefly turned to Sky. I remembered his blue eyes, full lips and the gentle curve of his cheekbones. We engaged Blue Squad regularly, I’d dispatched Blue’s. I truly hope he wasn’t one of them.

“So, how are you feeling?” asked Cass when the silence grew oppressive.

“My joints ache and I’m a little cold,” I answered.

“Harley said we should huddle together for warmth…” Cass trailed off.

“It is standard operating procedure when one finds himself in inclement weather without the proper equipment,” I replied, Cass grinned. “May I hold you please?”

“Sure,” Cass’s grin grew wider. He scooted close and made no objection when I put my arms around him, instead he returned the embrace. “This is nice.”

“Yes, your body is pleasantly warm,” I confirmed, he giggled.

“So you and Harley are really close huh?”

“He is like a brother to me,” I confirmed.

“When he first got here he talked about you a lot. I thought you might be his boyfriend.”

“Yes, he is my friend…” I began.

“No silly, not a boy who is a friend, a boyfriend. You know, a boy you like.”

“I don’t understand?” I replied, failing to grasp his meaning.

“Harley’s cute, don’t you think? You know, handsome?”

“Oh, yes I get it now. His features are pleasing to the eye.”

“Don’t be such a robot, ‘His features are pleasing to the eye,’” Cass giggled and gave me a playful shove. “Haven’t you ever looked at a guy just because he was pretty?”

“Sky was…pretty.”

“Ohhh, Sky, tell me about him,” said Cass.

“He was blond and his eyes were blue, a very beautiful shade. His body was slight, he had full lips…”

“Sounds cute,” said Cass. “Was he in your squad? Harley never mentioned him.”

“He was a Blue. I only saw him the one time.”

“Wow, he must have been a real beauty if he made that much of an impression on you.”

“Yes, he was,” I agreed.

“So I’m guessing you’ve never kissed a boy then?”

“Oh no, the Corporation wouldn’t have looked kindly on such a display of affection.”

“So wait, you’ve never kissed, like, anyone?” Cass was incredulous.

“Well…” I thought. “No, never.”

“Sage, that’s so sad!”

“Is it?”

“Sure it is. A kiss is the most intimate way you can express your feelings for someone,” Cass explained.

“I wouldn’t know,” I frowned. It’s not that I hadn’t known affection in my life, after all, Harley cared for me and hugged me as often as he could, so had Brunswick. I’d passed those hugs on to little India. It was something common in Green Squad, stolen hugs when the Managers couldn’t see. How had we overlooked kisses?

“Ok, what if I kissed you?” said Cass.

“You want to express your intimate feelings for me?” I asked confused, I hardly knew him.

“No dork,” Cass rolled his eyes. “But I want you to feel what it’s like.”

“I guess that would be ok.”

“Alright, hold still,” said Cass. He leaned forward and applied a gentle pressure to my cheek for the briefest of moments. The embrace was warm and intimate like he said it would be. “Did you like that?”

“It was…it felt…yes, I liked it very much,” I blushed.

“Try one more?”

“Ok,” I nodded.

This time Cass took my face gently in is hands and looked into my eyes. His brown eyes were so deep, so bottomless, it felt as if he were gazing into my soul.

“Close your eyes this time,” Cass whispered. I nodded and closed my eyes and then his lips brushed mine. It was the most incredible thing I’d ever felt. The warm feeling was there again, only stronger now; it felt as though something melted inside of me.

“Thank you,” I smiled when Cass pulled away.

“Yeah, I liked it too,” he blushed.

Harlequin

I woke some time later, not entirely sure of the time due to the lack of light or chronometers. Sitting up I observed Cass watching over Sage, who seemed to be asleep. That was good. If he could maximize his rest that would put us in a better position to travel. If he was not well enough then we would need an alternative. I would not leave him behind, not with the Corporation so close.

I gained my feet and stretched to work the kinks out. The floor was hard and cold and that cold had seeped into my joints. I walked to our supply of food and opened a can with a pull top and ate quickly. Footsteps behind me, and then Cass was in my peripheral vision.

“Did you see anyone or hear anything?”

“If I did I'd have stopped you from snoring anymore.”

“I don't snore!” I said.

“Uh huh. But no, there was nothing.” He leaned against a support beam, watching me.

“Good,” I scooped more food into my mouth.

“I kissed Sage.”

I choked, coughed and spit food out of my mouth. I brought a hand up reflexively but some granules of potato had lodged to the sides of my throat, irritating it and causing me to continue to cough as my body tried to dislodge it. My eyes started to water and I felt a plastic bottle of liquid pressed into my hand. I gulped, coughed and spluttered, then gulped some more. My eyes were watering and I wiped them with the back of my hand. At last, in control of myself I turned my eyes to Cass.

“Uh, are you going to gut me?”

I stared at this...soft boy. So, I was right. Sage did want that. “No.”

“Oh. Well, that's good. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have liked it. Hey,” he held his hands out to his sides, “he said you guys weren't boyfriends, so I thought it'd be okay.”

I looked away from him. “Did Sage...agree to the...kiss?”

“Yeah! I don't kiss guys who don't want to be kissed,” Cass replied, some heat in his voice.

“Then, as long as it was his choice, I can have no quarrel with it.” I sipped the water and looked at what was left of the stew in the can. It wasn't very good cold, but I knew I'd need the calories so I got ready to continue my meal.

“But...Harley, you're clearly upset. Did I do something wrong?” he placed a hand on my forearm and I paused. I glanced at Sage, still facing away from me and his body moved with his slow, even breaths.

“When I arrived, we were all scared and uncertain. We were all ten. As we got older and our bodies matured, some would...force themselves on others. As those persons left us – one way or another – there were some of us that decided that we had control over so little, that we should be able to say no to that.”

“Guys got raped?” his jaw hung open.

“There were still some who went with others less than willingly when Sage arrived, but he was too young to understand. He had begun to develop when one particularly bloodthirsty red beat him savagely and was about to...violate him.”

“What did you do?”

I looked at Cass and said very slowly, “I stopped him.”

We looked at one another for a few moments. I sipped my water and then continued. “I moved him to my pallet that cycle. I watched him because he is beautiful and I knew some would want to possess that beauty. But it wasn't theirs to take, so I made sure he always had the choice.”

“So you never...”

“I was not who he wanted.”

“Sky.”

“Yes.”

“But didn't you...want...”

“It...” I stopped speaking and drank the rest of my water.

“Has he been sleeping all morning? Excepting the time it took for you to...kiss.” The word felt slimy on my lips. One hopes, and they are dashed by the Corporation. By pretty Blue's. By soft boys from the real world.

“I hugged him for a while, he was cold.”

“I'm sure that was your sole motivation, to be a humanitarian.”

“I was being good!” Cass said, an unsure smile lurking.

“I cannot be angry at you for giving Sage what I could not...what he does not want, from me. I'm not going to hurt you.”

“Maybe. But I get the feeling I hurt you.”

I looked down and put my garbage aside. I walked to each of the small windows and looked outside to be sure we were alone. I walked to the door and made sure the wood was still as I'd left it. The sun was clearly setting and I decided to start moving.

“I will be back in a few hours. I have to say goodbye to Tim. I am going to block you in. Do you need anything?”

“No. I found a door back there,” he pointed to the rear of the room. “There's a flight of stairs – don't worry I didn't go up – and there's a bathroom there. I have food and a snuggle buddy. So I'm all set.”

“Please stay awake. I'll be back.”

Outside the light was nearly gone. Staying up all night wasn't unknown to me, but my body had needed the rest after the excitement and the exertions. I walked carefully, moving in the trees to avoid being seen. As I did I thought on Cass and Sage. I could not deny my disappointment to myself, it had hit me when Sage had shown up and appeared unhappy to see me. While my joy at seeing Sage was partly in the hopes that he had come looking for me, despite my orders, that was proved false. He took comfort in me, in a hug, and that would have to be enough.

I reached the main road and halted just inside the treeline and crouched. Deep in the shadows was an even darker shadow, and inside that shadow was a bright red star, waxing and waning. A cigarette. Town police or Corporation? I sat in contemplation. It was less likely to be Corporation because a lack of discipline like I was seeing could mean termination. However, if it were a lone soldier watching a lonely stretch of road for a long shift, perhaps it could happen. But how would they have acquired the cigarettes?

I sat quietly, mulling the situation for about twenty minutes. I had just decided to move for a closer look when I heard a car coming down the road, quickly. I pulled deeper into the trees and watched as a car rushed by at a high rate of speed, music thumping from the inside and making the car vibrate. In the shadows the lights flipped on, flashing as the police car leapt from its hiding place and chased the offending vehicle.

Question settled, I crossed the street and headed up the hill to Tim's home. On arrival I noted the lower level lit up, but there were lights upstairs as well. It was earlier than my previous foray and I was debating what to do. If I were somehow reported missing, I could bring problems down on the family. If I climbed up now, I risked discovery. My only option seemed to be to wait, and so I found a place deep in the scrub brush and waited.

I had little to do besides worry and speculate. How long would the Corporation stay in this little town until they decided we weren't to be found? If they found the beacon, what would they interpret from that? I knew I had to recover the bag, if civilians found it and accidentally activated the beacon they'd be destroyed, ruthlessly. That decided, my thoughts turned to Cass and Sage. Now that they had seemingly found each other I felt it my duty to ensure they had a chance to explore that. If need be, I'd leave them and move on, perhaps attract the Corporations attentions elsewhere. If nothing else, I'd fulfilled my self-imposed duty that Sage have a choice when the time came – and he clearly wasn't choosing me.

Then there was Tim. I was here to say goodbye, but why? I knew I would snuff the Mullaney's power and then he'd be safe. Did I owe him anything else? Did I want to look on his ruined face again? Or to simply tell him, once more, what I saw in him? I couldn't answer that, and it puzzled me. A thought chilled me and I shivered involuntarily – what if I just didn't want to see Cass and Sage together when he woke? Could I be hiding that from myself? Was I so...jealous? Was I so small that I'd run away rather than face their budding relationship?

I shook these melancholy thoughts as I noted the last of the lights going out. I waited longer, to give them time to fall asleep and then I crossed the street and shimmied up to the small roof over the front porch. Once more I moved on my stomach to the bathroom window only to find it unlocked. How odd. Lifting it I moved slowly into the house, senses sharp for a trap. I thought to myself about the boys in the group home – did any of them know about my relationship with Tim? Would the Corporation have been so brazen as to question them? Likely, posing as law enforcement.

On further reflection I considered it unlikely they'd mention Tim. The other boys were in different grades or in different classes. The only chance they'd have had to see Tim would be on Saturday's when we'd leave together. They were usually busy with TV or something equally useless. With a hiss I remembered my book! Damn! Lost now.

I pulled myself back to the present and slid the window back into place. I trod carefully into the hall and to Tim's room. I entered quickly and was not surprised to hear him catch me, again.

“Harley! I was worried!” he said in a whisper.

“What for? What have you heard?”

“Marissa came home from school and said that you and Cass had run away. Is Cass with you? Is he all right?”

“We are both well, thank you. However, we are leaving. It's why I'm here – to say goodbye.”

“But, why?” he asked as he lay back against his headboard.

“There are things I dare not tell you, things that will serve no useful purpose. You must believe that.”

“Harley, where did you learn to move like you did in in Starbuck's that day?”

“Tim,” I said softly and touched his hand. “Please do not ask anything about me. You must forget me.”

“How? How do I forget someone like you?” he sighed and said, “I heard about Brent. That was you, wasn't it.”

“I shouldn't have come,” I said standing. His hand was suddenly holding mine, however and I was reluctant to break the contact though my mind screamed to do so.

“Please, sit.”

I did, slowly. His hand shifted slightly until we were clasped comfortably. His hand was soft and warm in mine – so soft.

“I promise not to ask questions,” he began. “I think I know you well enough to say if you tell me not to, I should listen.”

“Thank you,” I replied.

“My family is having a hard time looking at me right now,” he said softly. “I understand. They feel pain seeing this. I'm going tomorrow for surgery – a plastic surgeon down in Manhattan says he can make them almost go away.”

“I'm glad to hear that. I wish that I could look on your face once more,” I confessed. He reached up with his free hand, touching the bandages.

“I don't want you to see that,” he said. “But, how about a picture?”

“You have one?”

“Yeah. It's you and me, actually. I had Marissa make me a copy.”

“I do not remember having my picture taken with you,” I said uncertainly.

“One of the girls behind the counter took it on their cell, the week after you stopped the guy with the gun.” He started to move his hand but then stopped, gripping mine tightly. “You won't move, right? No running away while I get this picture?”

“No, no running.”

He nodded and released my hand, turning and pulling open a drawer next to his bed. He withdrew a small picture and handed it to me.

“I needed a frame, but I'll just get a new picture made. Looks good, huh?”

There we were, in front of the fire in the leather chairs, talking. Like normal, real people.

“I can have this?”

“Yeah, of course.”

In the moonlight streaming through his windows his hair magically looked shorter and, for a fleeting moment, he looked like an older version of Sage. I sucked in a sharp breath and the illusion was gone.

“I have to go. Thank you, Tim.”

“Hey, one last thing,” he said shyly.

“What?”

He looked up, found my eyes with his. “If you're gentle...would you like to be the only boy I ever kissed?”

“Tim, I know you don't want that,” I said firmly.

“I'm not saying I want to be boyfriends or anything. You know I'm straight and all. But, you know, I think someone that sees me like you do – that's pretty rare. Don't you think a kiss is a pretty decent way to express that...appreciation?”

“But you don't want to kiss me,” I said.

“Stop arguing and come here,” he said, reaching a hand out. I stared. Do I dare? Was this pity, that he was yet another who would not share himself with me?

“Harley, I promise. I want this.”

“You mean that?”

“Yes. It's a kiss goodbye, between the very best of friends. You just can't kiss my cheek so...come here.”

I sat on the bed and then shuffled a bit closer. He shifted and then we were face to face.

“Are you...” I was cut off as his lips gently covered mine. I pushed forward ever so slightly, his lips parting just enough to extend the kiss. Our lips moving, gently nibbling on the other. Then his mouth was open and the kiss became electricity, and yet the tenderness was never lost – the gentleness wasn't simply from respect to his injuries but in reverence to his beauty, to the feeling of a first kiss so expertly done...

He leaned back and tried to smile. “Now, when you get a boyfriend you tell him he better kiss you like that.”

I felt moisture in my eyes from the intense emotions I was feeling. I wished I could tell him more, hold him – keep him. Instead I had a photo and a kiss and it would have to be enough.

“I love you,” I said softly.

“I know. I love you too.”

“I have to go.”

“I know.”

He held my hand and I watched him and we sat like that until he drifted to sleep. I slipped from the home and made my way back to the garage where I'd left my uniform. It was as deserted as before and I found my things. I pulled out my weapon, checked to make sure it was serviceable, and then bundled the rest of it in my arms.

I made my way back to the others without incident. When I arrived Cass was leaning against a wall to stay awake, his eyes drooping. I nodded to him.

“Did you see Tim?”

“I did. He was worried for you, the town thinks we ran away.”

“He was? That's so cool,” Cass smiled.

“Has Sage eaten?”

“Yeah, I gave him some food about three hours ago. He's been sleeping a lot. I'm doing my best to keep him warm, but I start to fall asleep when it gets dark and I can't see his face anymore,” he grinned.

“Get some rest. I have the watch,” I told him and he went to Sage, curled himself around him and, with a yawn, snuggled in close and was soon breathing steadily.