Toy Soldiers - 13. Chapter 13

Sage

It was an emotional night for me and Cassidy. First Cass’s father attacked him and would have killed him had Harley and I not turned the tables. Despite what happened the man had been his father and losing him caused terrible pain. To make matters worse, our discovery he’d been a Manager of the corporation was unsettling to say the least. I couldn’t imagine how hard it must be for Cass to learn the man who shared his DNA was deeply involved in a conspiracy to enslave little boys, beat them, torture them, perform medical experiments on them, turn them into killers and sell them like cattle.

My heart hurt for Cass but my concern for him was overshadowed by my own sorrow. I’d been so excited when I learned my name was Elliot Whitmore. Deep down in my heart, where the Corporation couldn’t reach it, had lived the hope that one day my parents would come and save me from the life of pain and brutality I was leading. That hope filled my whole body when I read my name but came crashing down seconds later when I learned my parents were dead.

We decided it was safe for all of us to sleep that night. The last place the Corporation would ever think to look for us was the home of a Manager. Harley insisted he would sleep in the living room to keep an eye on the door and Cass took me to his room to share his bed. We stripped down to our underclothes and climbed under the warm blankets. When Cass turned out the bedside lamp he snuggled close to me and the two of us cried ourselves to sleep.

As excited as I’d been to discover my true identity I knew I’d never use the name Elliot. It connected me to a family that was no more and the promise of a future that would never be. I am Sage Green. I have been since the Corporation took me and, though it wasn’t their intent, gave me a new family. My future now was my brother Harley and the hope that some of our other brothers had escaped to freedom. I would like to see them again, Brunswick and Celadon, little India and the rest. That hope will occupy the space in my heart where dreams of my parents once dwelled.

When I woke that morning and once again gazed at Cassidy’s beautiful face I understood he was my future too. I don’t know why or how I formed a connection to him so quickly. Maybe it was the stress of our situation. Whatever it was I knew he made me feel good. His soft kisses were the most intimate thing I’d ever experienced and I longed for more.

I let Cass sleep and got out of bed. I yawned, stretched and suddenly became very aware of my own body odor. I’d been in the woods for a week and then our storage shed hideout for a couple of days. My nose crinkled at the smell wafting off my arm pits and I decided to take advantage of Cass’s shower. I had one last pair each, fresh socks and underwear, in my pack and decided to fetch them before running the water.

I padded down the hall and into the living room where I’d left my pack. Harley was still sleeping so I tried to keep the noise down while I unzipped my bag. As I was rooting through my things I discovered a folded piece of paper with the words, “To Elliot,” printed in a scrawling hand. Puzzled, I unfolded the paper and began to read.

Dearest Elliot,

I'll ask you to indulge me as I write this, because these words will not be the kind you've heard from me before. You are used to me giving orders, barking and being abrupt. But now, at the end, there are things I would like you to know – but I cannot bring myself to speak them aloud…

I read how Harley loved and protected me, about how he’d killed for Sky because he was someone I’d expressed my regard for. I read Harley’s pain and wept for his dear heart only to rage when I got to the end of his letter and learned of his plans to leave me and Cass behind. To give his life that we might have a chance to live ours.

My emotions ranged from loss to anger and anger to fury. Tears flowed from my eyes like a river cresting its banks. My hands shook and I could hardly contain myself. I walked over to the couch where Harley slept, kicked his leg and shouted, “GET UP!”

Soldiers are conditioned to be light sleepers and Harley was no different. He jumped to his feet, his head swiveling about looking for danger. When he saw we were alone and noticed the anger on my face, the tears running from my eyes, he said in a soft voice, “Sage, what’s the matter?”

I slapped him across the face, “How could you?”

He raised his hand to his cheek but the hurt in his eyes came from his heart not the sting.

“How could you?” I demanded a second time but when I moved to slap him again he grabbed my wrist then pulled me into a hug.

“What have I done?” he asked.

“I-I found your note in my pack,” I sniffled.

“Oh, you weren’t supposed to find that until I’d gone,” said Harley, his eyes downcast.

“You can’t do this to me.”

“To you? Sage, I’m doing this for you,” he reasoned.

“You read your file last night; you know what’s in mine. Harley, you’re the only family I have now. I can’t, I won’t lose you,” I buried my face in his chest.

“Sage, if I do this, if I take on the Corporation on my own, you’ll be free. You and Cassidy can build a life together.”

“A life where I’ll always have a hole in my heart where you should be?” I demanded. “No!”

“I could order you…” Harley trailed off.

“We’re free now; I don’t have to take your orders. You’re not my squad leader any more you’re just my brother and I will not let you throw your life away.”

“Sage…” Harley sighed.

“I am the best scout in the Corporation. I will hunt you down where ever you go Harley Green,” then I kissed him on the cheek.

“W-why did you do that?”

“Cass taught me. When you love someone you show it with a kiss on the cheek.”

“But you don’t desire me,” said Harley. It was a statement more than a question.

“You’re my brother Harley. You protected me, kept me safe and warm, gave me comfort. You constructed the bonds of brotherhood and that’s how I love you,” I explained.

“It’s just that…” he trailed off and when I looked into his face a tear ran down his cheek.

“Tell me, please?” I put my hand to his cheek and brushed the tear away with my thumb.

“I see you with Cass, the way you two look at each other. I wanted you - someone - to look at me like that but I…”

“What about Tim, you protected him, you killed for him. He must have been special to you.”

“He is but I couldn’t have him either. He doesn’t have those feelings for males. It’s probably just as well, he was too beautiful for someone as ugly as me,” he sighed.

“Ugly? Harley, you are not ugly,” I assured him.

“No?”

“If you weren’t my brother I’d come for you. You have a beautiful face and an incredible body.”

“Thank you,” he said, suddenly lacking confidence.

“You have to give yourself time Harley. I don’t know why I’ve hit it off with Cass so quickly. I’m sure it’s not normal but you have to give yourself a chance. Once the Corporation is dealt with you’ll find the one who is meant for you. I’ll help,” I promised.

“How?”

“I don’t know, we’ll figure that out when the time comes,” I hugged him tight. “Please Harley, please don’t leave me.”

“Uh, what’s going on?” Cass yawned as he stepped into the living room in his socks and boxers.

“Harley was going to leave us.”

“What the fuck?” Cass exclaimed. “Harley, you promised me. You said if I came with you, you wouldn’t leave me.”

“See, I’m not the only one who needs you,” I added.

“It was a moment of weakness. I-I’m not going anywhere without the two of you,” said Harley.

I hugged him and waved Cass over, he joined us and we held the embrace for a moment. I still felt safe in Harley’s arms and only let him go when I was sure he was going to stay.

Harlequin

I tried, and failed, to sleep more before we were to leave. Sage's outburst had left me conflicted and only sure that I would see this through with them. Afterward – who could be so cruel as to ask me to stay and watch them fall deeper into one another? If he had read it all – which he must have to know I had intended to leave – then why did he make no mention of how we were to resolve my feelings for him? Did he expect me to simply ignore them while he fell in love before my eyes?

These questions eventually caused me to give up on the idea of sleep and I calmed myself by cleaning the weapons we'd take and preparing the ammunition for transport. I didn't want to get burdened down with weapons, but neither did I want to be caught unarmed. I decided on a pistol and a semi-automatic rifle for myself and substituted a longer range rifle more suitable for sniping for Sage. Although our goal was to bring down the corporation we had no hope of simply storming the gates. So we would go and recon the area, see what had changed and try to formulate a plan.

If there was any way I could still leave them behind, I would. But Sage now knew where Lyon Mountain lay and I believed he would follow me, likely out of anger. While I had been working, they hadn't been idle. I had them obtain clothing for us and wash what we had – we were all little ripe at this point. Showers were had by all and keys to the managers vehicle – I refused to attach him to Cassidy as a parent – were found. I checked the fuel and found it lacking.

Cass explained the theory of credit cards and we took the manager's wallet. Once the vehicle was loaded with food, blankets and such we took the laptop with all the information on us – perhaps Cass or Sage would find something useful. I elected to drive and, as soon as the sun was down, we headed north.

Lyon Mountain State Correctional Facility was opened in 1984 and was adapted from a former school. It closed in 2011 and was sold at auction for $140,000 . The purchaser was listed as a a private buyer from Quebec, and as such was not required to disclose his plans for the facility. The town of Lyon Mountain was a former mining town and located within the larger village of Dannemora. The school had closed in the 1970's and was converted into a prison with the rise of crack cocaine arrests and the need for non-violent criminal housing.

The buyer was clearly the Corporation, regardless of the name on the deed. The part that I wondered about was our sale. Why? Was that our purpose? Or was something else going on?

Our vehicle was a large sport / utility vehicle with the name 'Suburban' on the side. Cass and Sage had spread blankets in the back and we'd stored the weapons in the middle so that they were in easy reach of us both. They were going through the contents of the computer while I drove into the deepening gloom. I paid strict attention to the speed limits and did my best to make ourselves inconspicuous.

As the hour grew later I told them to sleep, as we would need to be alert on arrival. I vigilantly checked my mirrors and was startled to see Sage climbing through the vehicle to take a seat next to me.

“Why aren't you sleeping?” I asked.

“Because things are...complicated.”

“In what way?” I asked.

“I was going to destroy your letter, at the house. I felt that keeping your plan of a suicide was...it made me uncomfortable.”

I remained silent, not having heard any reasoning for complication.

“Cassidy found the letter before I could destroy it.”

I considered this, but felt it didn't affect me in any meaningful way. My new plan was to leave them once the mission was complete. I did not feel it fair nor wise for me to watch Sage fall in love with someone else.

“Harley, he knows about your...emotional attachment to me.”

“And?”

“Well, first he feels guilty,” Sage explained. “He feels as though he's hurting his friend, unintentionally of course. I think that he has grown very fond of you, Harley.”

“That is of no consequence, it changes nothing,” I replied.

“Do you feel nothing for him?”

“I am fond of him. Although our lives were much different from his own, I understand the abuse he received – I believe I understand his perspective. I also think he's a decent person.”

“Then how can you say it is of no consequence? He feels guilt, through no fault of his own, for his pursuit of a relationship with me.”

“I cannot alter his feelings,” I replied somberly, “Nor can I adjust my own. I understand why he feels as he does, but what do you expect me to do about it?”

“Tell him there is nothing between us?” Sage offered.

I stiffened. “If that's what you want.”

“Harley,” he said, his voice lowering. “That's not what I meant and you know it.”

What I thought I knew, that was long gone. I was working without a plan anymore and I had no authority here; I could not even order Sage to stop. He'd already proven he would no longer obey me. I did not voice any of this, but kept my own council.

“I wish you'd tell me what you're thinking,” Sage said.

No, you don't. You want me to say I don't want you, to renounce my long held emotion towards you. I won't – I can't. I've invested too much – spilled too much blood, ended too many lives and risked my own skin countless times for you, Sage. I can't.

“Okay,” he sighed. “I'll come back to that, as Cass says. He...explained a few things about your note to me. Harley, I hope you believe me when I say I didn't know how you felt.”

I did not see the purpose in this conversation, even though it was a direct contradiction of what I had thought in the aftermath of his outrage. I was beginning to feel as if he'd only wanted me to stay for protection and that his other assertions had been false. Could that be? Or was I simply refusing to see anything positive? What positives could there be? He didn't feel for me as I did him, and he would not.

“Harley, please.”

“What do you want me to say, Sage?”

“I'm trying to apologize,”he said.

“What for? I acted, not you. I protected, not you. I shed blood, not you. I killed, not you. I loved...” I choked, cleared my throat and said firmly, “ I loved, not you. I have no one but myself to blame.”

“Harley, please. Can we talk about this?”

“What is there to discuss?”

The road stretched out, new miles revealed by the hungry reach of the headlights. The tires made a steady noise as they ate more and more miles between Fishkill and the tiny town of Lyon Mountain. I heard Sage shift on the seat and place a tentative hand on my forearm.

“Don't,” I said.

“Harley, have you come to hate me so much in so short a time?”

“I don't hate...” I sighed. “What do you want me to say, Sage? What will satisfy you?”

“I would like you to listen to me, first and talk to me after. Can you do that?”

“Move your hand,” I said in a whisper. His fingers withdrew, trailing slowly as they did. “Say what you need to.”

He shifted again, and I glanced at him with peripheral vision to see that he was now facing me, and had drawn closer.

“My earliest memory of you was in training. While so many others would scream and use fear to motivate, like a manager, you used kinder tactics. Yes, you commanded respect – and maybe that's why I remember because I feared the others and respected you. I never realized how much you intervened on my behalf.”

I remained silent, I had only agreed to listen and there seemed to be no response to his restating what I had written down for him.

“While I hadn't intended that Cass find or read the letter – your letter – it helped me to understand it. There were things that made little sense to me, but the one thing that was clear was that you were leaving me. Harley, you could have told me I had...purple wings and a horn on my forehead and I wouldn't have retained it. All I could see was you leaving me behind, and I couldn't take that.”

“You think it was easy for me?” I snarled. “Do you think that was my first option?”

“No, I don't,” he said with more calm than I felt. “but I want you to understand that, when we spoke earlier, I had one objective – to not lose you. You always taught us to identify the primary objective and fulfill that. I couldn't do anything about the rest of it, but I had to stop you from leaving me.”

I refrained from another outburst.

“Cass explained to me what he thought it meant when you said I was being maneuvered, why you moved my pallet by yours.” He sighed, “I never even realized how little I knew.”

I pursed my lips and moved them in and out, but didn't know what to say. They were facts, not questions.

“Can I ask...can I tell you what Cass said he thought you meant?”

I paused. Then nodded my assent.

“He said that it sounded like they would...rape me? Is that the right word? Putting...”

“Yes,” I said, gritting my teeth. “It was more common before you arrived. Much less so afterward.”

“Due to you.”

“There were others. It took time to forge bonds as a group, between training and combat losses and upgrades gone wrong. Eventually most felt that we had to be cohesive, I among them. I...couldn't let that happen to you.”

“I never knew I was in such danger.” He sighed and let his head lie against the high backrest of the seat. “When you moved my pallet I was afraid I'd done something wrong, but you were just watching over me.”

“I wrote as much. Why are you restating facts?” I grumbled.

“Because the lens I have viewed you through since I arrived has shifted. I never knew you hoped for me to fill such an important role in your life. Then, when I broke your noble heart by unwittingly mentioning the good looks of another...you preserved him for me, in case we ever had the chance to meet again.

“But, Harley, you were still hoping I'd wake up one day and see you differently?”

“Hope is all we had, otherwise we were lost,” I said. I tried to ignore the tremor in my voice.

“But what do we do now? Harley, while I don't want to share your bed, I do want to share my heart with you. I was not lying when I told you I loved you. I am also not lying when I say that I cannot imagine life without you.”

“And what of me? Do you think it fair for me to watch you blossom into happiness – happiness I hoped to have with you myself?” I asked bitterly.

“Can you find no solace in your heart for my joy? Do I not deserve joy as well, Harley?”

“You do, you deserve every joy. But I ask you again, is it fair I bear witness? Why must your joy be my punishment?”

“Harley...we must find some middle ground. I cannot love you in the manner you need so badly. You do not deserve to be betrayed and I would never pretend something I did not feel – would that not hurt you even more?”

I felt a heaviness in my chest, a weariness. “Stop. I don't want to hear anymore. Please.”

“Just this last thing, then. You have been my father, my brother, my closest family. You are dear in my heart and I promise you, Harlequin Green, that will never change. It does not matter if I take a thousand lovers or if I die in Lyon Mountain, they will never take the place I hold for you in my heart. I hope, in the end, that is precious enough for you.”

He climbed over the seat and retreated from me, settling down to sleep. I felt tears threatening, but they would not fall – could not. It was not to be allowed. I drove on through the night, drawing ever closer to our destination and felt, perhaps, the smallest portion of my heart begin to heal.

The town of Lyon Mountain was not much. There were a few scattered homes, none with any lights, and the impression was that the town was abandoned. We drove past the town and pulled from the road a few miles beyond, pulling the big vehicle behind a copse of evergreen trees. I took some time to wake up, to move my limbs as did my compatriots. Doling out the weapons we moved silently through the scraggly pines and low brush, up to higher ground from which we could scout our destination.

Our vantage point was very good, allowing for a view of the majority of the compound. Lights were on in a various small buildings, but the former prison itself was completely dark. In front of us was a ledge, a steep slide about ten feet down from which there was a slow, ponderous ascent to reach our position. It was defensible and we would not be easily seen from the facility.

In the moonlight it was clear that patrols were engaged at the facility. For what purpose? Did they expect an attack? The patrols were spaced widely, sometimes too far from each other to easily see the next due to land formations and the various small buildings that comprised the compound of the facility. Sage was already looking through the scope of his weapon, scouting the various towers and counting patrols.

I noted a patrol approaching our position, though clearly out of the ability for Sage to see. I nudged him and pointed my chin at the group of three, still far enough away that we could move back safely and let them pass. I hadn't counted on Cass wanting to see what I was subtly pointing out to Sage, and before anyone realized it he was sliding over the edge and fully visible to the alerted patrol. I scrambled forward to go after him and was stayed by Sage's hand.

“Come back to me.”

Sage

Harley gave me a determined nod then leapt over the edge with his knife drawn. He was quickly spotted by the nearest patrol and closed the distance to Cass rapidly. I had my M-4 up and sighted on the soldier coming up from the right hand side. I didn’t want to kill him or any of the other troops; the Corporation had murdered enough of us.

“Don’t shoot, don’t shoot,” I whispered to myself willing the soldier to hold his fire. But when the soldier in my sights brought his weapon to bear on Cassidy, I had no choice. My first shot rang true, striking him in the chest. It was a clean shot that pierced his heart; he was dead before he hit the ground. I didn’t have time to mourn for him then, my friends were still in danger. I shifted my weapon to the left just as Harley threw his knife, catching the soldier in the throat.

Harley tackled the remaining soldier and as they grappled for dominance I scrambled to my feet and ran into the fray. I could see Cassidy standing back, his expression one of shock and concern. Once again his lack of training stood out, he didn’t know what to do. I skidded to a halt in front of Cass and that’s when I saw it, the number on the soldier’s uniform, B-322.

Harley was much larger than the boy wriggling beneath him and had gained the upper hand. He’d grabbed a large rock and was about to bash the soldier when I shouted, “Harley stop!”

Harley sat up, still straddling the boy who stopped struggling when I shouted. Harley panted and held tight to the rock then looked over at me.

“Harley, it’s him. It’s Sky,” I explained.

Harley put his rock down then pulled off the boy’s helmet. It was him, Sky. He’d aged but I would recognize his face anywhere. It was an image burned into my memory by its beauty and the horror we faced together at the hands of the Unnamed.

“How do you know my…” Sky began to say, then I saw recognition in his eyes. “You! The Green boy…Sage.”

“Yeah,” I nodded.

“You know him?” said Cassidy.

“Yes,” I replied.

Harley got up and held out his hand. Sky looked at him for a second, unsure what Harley would do but in the end he let Harley help him to his feet. Sky looked at Harley, then at me and finally Cassidy before he spoke.

“What are you doing here? Where is Green Squad? What is going on?” asked Sky.

“You first,” said Harley. “What’s with all of the patrols? Why are the squads mixed?”

“The patrol’s started a few weeks ago. The Managers didn’t tell us why they simply showed up with this Black Squad none of us had ever heard of and formed teams of Blue’s and Red’s with a Black in command. No Green’s though. Where is Green Squad?”

“Sky, Green Squad escaped,” I told him.

“What! How?” Sky exclaimed.

“The how isn’t important right now,” said Harley. “As for the why, I received intelligence that our squad was to be liquidated. We could not let that come to pass.”

“So that’s why they brought in Black Squad,” said Sky.

“Likely as not,” Harley agreed. “They probably broke you up into combined teams to break the squad’s unit cohesion. It’s what helped us to escape.”

“The Black’s are the Director’s personal guards,” I added.

“But why come back here?” asked Sky, confusion on his pretty face.

“We’ve uncovered the Director’s true plans. We weren’t to be liquidated, we were to be sold,” said Harley. “Blue Squad was to follow, then Red.”

“We came back to set you all free and bring the Corporation to its knees,” I added.

“How can I help?” said Sky.

“I have an idea but first we need to strip these bodies,” said Harley. “Cass, give me a hand.”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, sure,” said Cassidy.

They set to work stripping the uniforms from the corpses while Sky and I stared at each other. As I looked at him and thought about the experience we’d endured, and how often I’d thought of his face, I wondered if he’d thought of me the same way. I would have been content to stare at him all night but I notice Cass struggling with the body of the Red and treating him roughly.

“Cass, stop,” I called out.

“What’s the matter?” he asked.

“Please be gentle with him,” I stated.

“Why, he’s dead,” said Cass.

“Because,” I knelt down beside the body and took over the duty of stripping him. “He was one of us. I killed him because I had to protect you and there was no time to explain the situation to him. Now we’re stripping him of his uniform and leaving him naked in the woods, the least we can do is treat him gently.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t understand,” said Cassidy.

“It’s alright,” I patted his hand and then finished the job.

“Cassidy, put that on,” said Harley, once I’d finished stripping the Red.

I looked over my shoulder and found him stripped to his underpants and beginning to pull on the Black’s uniform. I was the only one left in civilian clothes.

“What’s your plan?” asked Sky.

Harley offered a grim smile and explained what he had in mind. It was bold but tactically sound and three minutes later I was marching to the main gate as though I’d been captured by Sky’s patrol.

There was a guard shack at the main gate and I knew from my previous experience that it was connected to the main compound by a tunnel. Once we had control of the shack and the computer inside, we should be able to infiltrate the prison itself.

“Halt,” ordered the guard, a Black, as we approached.

Sky took off his helmet and addressed the guard.

“We found this one roaming the woods. When we stopped him for questioning he identified himself as Sage Green. We thought the best course was to inform the Director.”

“Very well, step inside and we’ll contact master control,” said the Black.

We followed him into the shack to find another Black seated at the computer console. A quick survey of the room revealed there were only two guards on duty. Before they could contact master control Harley snapped the first guard’s neck while Sky drew a silenced pistol, a scout’s weapon, and dispatched the one at the computer. I picked the smaller of the guards and began stripping his uniform. I would need it for the next phase of our plan.

“Cassidy, are you handy with a computer?” asked Harley.

“I’m no hacker but I’ve got some skills,” said Cass.

“Good, the guards are logged on to the system, see if we have access to unlock all of the squad barracks,” Harley ordered.

“I’m on it,” Cass acknowledged.

Sky holstered his weapon while I began taking off my clothes.

“You’re a scout?” I asked.

“Yes,” he nodded.

“Me too,” I smiled. He smiled back.

“Got it!” Cass shouted. “It was in a sub file but I can unlock pretty much everything except this room labeled MC,” he tapped the map on the computer screen.

“That will be Master Control. I would imagine it’s on a different system. It was probably built that way when the prison was originally constructed in case of a riot by the inmates,” said Harley.

“What’s our next move?” asked Sky.

“Sage, take Cassidy and breach the special weapons locker. You remember the tear gas we trained with during urban pacification training?” said Harley.

“Yes,” I nodded. It was nasty stuff and I wasn’t likely to forget our encounter with it.

“Load up a cart with as much of it as you can and then proceed to the HVAC room here,” he tapped the map. “Get as much gas into the air ducts as possible. Hopefully it will disrupt the guards enough for us to carry out the rest of the operation.”

“What's HVAC?” Cassidy asked.

“Heating, Ventilation and Air Conditioning,” Sky answered. “What do I do?”

“Go back to your squad, tell them what’s happening and hand out gas masks. Storm the small arms locker then set Red Squad free. Kill any Manager, guard or Unnamed that you can. Kill anyone that gets in your way but get out of this facility.”

“What about you?” I asked.

“I’m going after the Director,” said Harley.

“That’ll be dangerous,” I reminded him.

“It can’t be helped. He must be stopped.”

“Let me help you,” I offered.

“Yeah, me too,” said Sky.

“No, he’s mine,” said Harley. “Sage, you must protect Cassidy. We’ll rendezvous at 0200 here at the guard shack. If I am not here by 0215 you are to take Cassidy and Sky back to the car and get as far from this place as possible. Understood?”

“But…” I started.

“Understood?” Harley repeated in his command voice. “That goes for all of you.”

“Sir, yes sir,” we snapped a crisp reply, even Cass.

“Good, let’s get to work. This end’s tonight,” said Harley.