Poetry From The Heart - 2. Can I Make It In

As I stand before my God
thoughts running through my mind.
holding back the urge to sob
I think back to an earlier time

Why did all this take place
why did it have to be me
did they see the fear on my face
take joy in watching me bleed?

I think back further
too just minutes before
lying there with my lover
All covered up on the floor

Three guys dressed all in black
Came bursting in
The first sting came to my back
the damage already done within

Ears ringing loudly from the shot
I grasped my lovers hand tight
letting go was never a thought
I start to fade out, I’m losing the fight

how did they find our hideout
why did they come here
as my vision starts to gray out
another ringing in my ear

it seemed an eternity
as shots rang out from above
Why are they doing this to me
because of who I love?

is it wrong to feel what I do?
too have love so strong for a boy?
can I help my infatuation grew
should I have been more coy?

it took three shots to end my life
never again to see my love
the pain in my heart stabbing like a knife
Will we ever meet above?

Then it hit me like a ton of bricks
I will never make it into heaven
to love another boy is so sick
words I had heard since I was eleven

An abomination to Man
bound for hell I was always told
replaying the words I could no longer stand
I will never walk streets paved with gold

Then i hear my name aloud
it's being called from the other side
I knew inside I would never be allowed
but nowhere could I find to hide

There at the gate I saw a Man
his smile so loving and warm
"My child" he said "in front of me come stand"
as he held out his hands so calloused and worn

"Have you ever harmed another?"
"To my word have you been true?"
"Have you always helped your fellow brother
doing all that you can do?"

I stood there and wondered
my mind a whirling mess
I replied, "Lord I’ve never plundered
"But you must know I’m gay, I guess"

"What a tragic end you faced," he said
"so sad it happened to you"
"for your love your blood you shed
standing up for what you thought was true"

with a wave of his hand
he said, "you may come on through
you may walk in heavens land
your time in hell is through."