Always - 23. Is this Reality?

As Drew neared the bed in which his brother lay, he could feel the tears that began to brim his eyes, noticing the battered and bruised state Jordan was in, and he took support from Luke squeezing his hand. Jordan’s face was pale and the skin was sunken in. He was basically a bag of bones. There were stitches above his right eye. Tubes and needles tangled around him, most of which connected to miscellaneous machines. Drew was flashing back to those nights with Luke and Jane in the hospital. He pulled Luke into a crushing hug as he wept hot tears into his shoulder.

Luke held Drew tight as he cried and was not far from tears himself. When Drew was able to compose himself, he pulled back and turned to his brother. He went over to him and lightly stroked his bleached hair.

“They had to sedate him. He was screaming about what would happen to you and me if he disobeyed James. He doesn’t seem to quite be in reality. I think he has blocked out James’ shooting.”

“Is he…?” Drew asked with hope in his voice.

“Yes, he was holding Jordan at gunpoint. Detective Bays took a risk and James was shot in the head… right beside Jordan.”

“Was he able to see you before they sedated him?” Drew asked.

“No, he was already out before I knew he was here. He should be awake in a few hours.”

“Do you want me to wait with you?” Luke asked.

“Please?” Drew asked while Jane nodded.

So that is what Luke did. He waited as Jordan lay in his hospital bed unknowing of what had happened. Jane took the spot beside Jordan’s bed first while Drew and Luke got comfortable on the couch. After the first two hours, Jane took Drew’s place on the couch while Drew sat beside Jordan and held his hand.

~~~

While his family worried about when he would wake up, Jordan suffered through a hellish dream state. To him it was as if he was still in the basement where he had spent most of his time. Everything was the same, except one of his hands was warm. His body was throbbing in pain as he lay on his back staring into the cold darkness.

He felt like he had finally reached insanity as he would occasionally hear the voices of his family in the distance. He wanted to get up and run to their voices, but something was holding him down. He felt like there was a dark fog keeping him prisoner. A fog that kept repeating the same thing over and over, “They are going to die now. You shouldn’t have left. There is no stopping me.” The voice continued to taunt him for what seems like days. All Jordan could do was lay there, drained of all energy. He tried so hard to break out of the fog to warn them, but he couldn’t seem to gather the strength. He could just stay there, hopeless, feeling utterly helpless. At some point he began to wonder if he was in hell.

~~~   

Drew had dozed off with his head on Jordan’s hand, and Jane had also fallen asleep on the couch next to Luke. Four hours after Jordan had been sedated, he began to regain consciousness. He wondered where James had left him. He fought to force his eyes open. At first everything looked blurry, but then his vision began to clear. He moved his warm hand and found it was restrained by something. He pulled at it again before looking at it. At that moment he realized he was not in the basement or the house at all.

Drew jumped at the movement of his brother’s hand and looked up to find Jordan’s clouded green eyes looking into his own.

“Am I dead?” Jordan rasped.

“No,” Drew smiled as tears burned his eyes.

Jordan’s mind immediately began to panic. ‘Where is James?’ ‘How did I get out of the basement?’ ‘I have finally lost it…’ raced through his mind. ‘He looks so real…’ Jordan thought as he looked at his brother’s figure beside him. Before Jordan could lose himself in his allusion, he saw James standing behind Drew smiling evilly. Jordan cried out in horror as James pointed a gun at Drew’s head. Jordan ripped out his IV and tried to push Drew out of the way of James.

Drew grabbed his brother and held him tight while Jordan screamed in protest.

“He’s there behind you! He is going to kill you!” Jordan screamed as he thrashed against his brother.

“Luke, get a nurse and have her bring a sedative,” Jane said calmly.

Luke nodded and hurried out of the room. Jane quickly sat down on the side of the bed next to her frantic sons.

“Jordan, sweetheart, James is dead. He cannot hurt us,” she said hugging him from behind.

Jordan closed his eyes tight and then opened them only to see that James had disappeared. He calmed down and realized the agonizing pain that was shooting through his body. He lay back and looked at the horrified look on his brother’s face.

Luke came in with the nurse, but Jane told her the sedative wasn’t necessary. Luke was extremely afraid that he may upset Jordan. In his mind, the last thing Jordan needed to see was a stranger in the room. He motioned to Jane that he was going to step outside. She nodded in understanding, before quickly pouring a cup of water for her son.

Jordan sipped of the water before speaking again.

“Where?” Jordan asked.

“You’re in the hospital,” Jane said sitting down on the bed beside him.

“You guys need to go! He will kill you-,” Jordan began to panic.

Drew squeezed Jordan’s hand, “James is dead, Jordan, your safe.”

“But how? The last thing I remember is,” Jordan flashed back to the pizza cutter then to the salt, “being locked in the basement.”

“A friend here that is on the boxing team went to visit an aunt. She was your neighbor. He recognized you and took a picture. He came to me with it and we notified the police. They raided the house and killed James,” Drew explained, not wanting to go into full detail.

Jordan was silent for a moment before he looked up at his brother and mother. Jane moved away from the bed as the nurse began to hook Jordan back up to the machines and IV.

“He is really dead?” he asked.

Drew and Jane nodded.

Jordan was quiet again for a little while. He was trying to process what was happening. He had wanted for so long to be reunited with his family and now that it was actually happening he was overwhelmed.

“I’m going to go inform Dr. McGowan that you are awake,” Jane smiled.

“Mom, can you get him transferred out of Dr. McGowan’s care? That man…”

“I was planning on it.”

Jane left Drew and Jordan alone and silence engulfed the room. The two brothers just sat there for a few moments before Jordan broke the quiet.

“What is wrong with my doctor?” he asked.

“He was entrusted with the care of a very close friend of mine, and he let him down,” Drew said.

Drew really didn’t want to spill the beans about his sexuality to Jordan until he knew Jordan could handle it.

“Do you feel like talking? Do you want to go back to sleep?” Drew asked.

Jordan shook his head and slowly sat up in the bed and looked at his brother.

“Your friend- is he the one in the pictures?” Jordan asked curiously.

“Pictures?” Drew asked, baffled.

“James knew where you and Mom lived. He had people stalk you and take pictures. Said he would kill you if I ran,” Jordan took another sip of water before wincing from the cuts on his back. “There was one guy who was in all of the last pictures with you.”

“His name is Luke.”

“You looked joined at the hip in the pictures.”

Drew nodded with a smile.

“He is here; I suppose he thought the presence of a stranger might upset you,” Drew smiled.

“I’m guessing you and him are not apart all that much?”

Drew tensed, not exactly knowing how much Jordan actually knew. Drew had no clue what he and Luke were doing when those pictures were taken.

“No, he lives with us,” Drew said pulling his brows together.

Jordan raised his eyebrows.

“When is the wedding?” he grinned.

Drew reddened and immediately got nervous.

“Just kidding, where is he?”

“Probably outside getting some air,” Drew said.

“Can I meet him?” Jordan asked curiously. “Since he lives with us and all.”

“Dude, is that even a question? I’ll go get him, but he is really worried you won’t like him.”

Jordan shrugged and immediately regretted it, “Guess we will find out.”

```

Luke was standing in the cool breeze in front of the entrance when David walked up beside him.

“Hey,” David said hesitantly. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine just worried. What are you doing here?”

“During that fight this morning, Joey hit me in the jaw. It has yet to stop hurting so I thought I should get it looked at. Why are you here?”

“They found Drew’s brother,” Luke sighed.

“Alive?”

Luke nodded, “We were just talking about it this morning and now here he is.”

“Is he alright?”

“Don’t know yet, he just woke up. He had to be sedated when he arrived. He was apparently screaming that Drew and Jane would be killed if he didn’t obey.”

“That must have been how the guy kept Jordan from running off and telling someone.”

“Yeah, physically he is stable, but mentally…the kid has got to be screwed up. From what Detective Bays told Dr. Knight about the event of his rescue, that alone would have screwed with anyone’s mind.”

David sighed and so did Luke.

“Honestly, with a family like that kid has, I think he will be just fine after awhile. He is lucky to have you guys.”

Luke found himself smiling at that. As much as David knew that Drew hated him he could still compliment him and Luke admired that of his old friend.

“Are you waiting for someone or did you just step out for some fresh air?” David asked.

“Air. I feel slightly awkward intruding on their family moment. Besides, I don’t think it would be good for Jordan if saw some strange guy there with his brother,” Luke sighed.

“I see your point. I’ll wait with you until Drew or Dr. McGowan comes to give you some news.”

“Dude, I’ll be fine. Go get your jaw looked at.”

“Naw, man, if I leave you out here alone, something happens, and Drew finds out about it, I’m toast. Plus, I miss you.”

“I’ve missed our friendship too,” Luke smiled.

There was a pause in their conversation, and the breeze picked up and the boys both recalled their past friendship.

“Does his brother know he is gay?” David asked after a while.

“Naw, Drew didn’t even know he was gay until he met me,” Luke laughed. “Guess I’m kind of flattered in a way.”

“I would be. You worried his brother may not accept you guys?”

“You have no idea. If we attempt to keep it from him, I am afraid that we might fail at it. You know Drew and I cannot keep our hands off each other.”

Luke let out a nervous sigh, and David pin-pointed what was really bothering him.

“Luke, you know that Drew would never let you go, right? I mean if by some chance his brother does not accept you, I doubt Drew would tell you to take a hike. Eventually, he would find some way to get through to his brother so he will see Drew’s point. He loves you too damn much to let you go. I found that out the night he nearly blew my head off.”

“I know. I just really don’t want his brother to hate me.”

“You hate having people dislike you; you always have. I think that is what makes you such a good person.”

“If you knew I was such a good person how could you think I killed Tyler? I mean, I had no reason to hurt him; I defended him all the time.”

“The last thing I saw before passing out was you carrying him. I lost the love of my life, and I needed someone to blame. I had no one else to blame but myself and I-,” David stopped with an anguished expression.

“I’m sorry; you apologized. I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

“No, man, you and I both know that no apology can fix the things I put you through.”

Luke placed a hand on David’s shoulder, and their conversation came to a stop, Luke decided to change the subject.

“How did your dad take you coming out? I know he never had anything nice to say about gays,” Luke frowned.

“He hasn’t spoken to me since. He won’t even look at me. I don’t know why he is so surprised after the way I acted when Ty-” David stopped himself. “The first few days after Tyler’s death I locked myself in my room. I didn’t eat or sleep…I just laid on my bed crying. I didn’t even go to his funeral.”

“How are you doing now?” Luke asked.

“Imagine losing Drew and then knowing it was your fault. It’s hard man.”

“I’m here if you ever want to talk David. You know that right?” Luke asked as he placed his hand on David’s shoulder.

“Yeah, I know, but there are just some things I can’t talk to you about. There are things I really can’t talk to anyone about. I know you get that.”

“I see where you’re coming from. Just know that I’m here for you.”

“Thanks,” David sighed, “it means a lot that your there for me after everything I put you through.”

“There you are,” Drew said coming up behind Luke and hugging him. “What are you doing here?” Drew asked looking at David with a scowl.

“Keeping your boyfriend company, and I think Joey may have made the fracture in my jaw worse.”

“You are kind of swollen,” Luke smiled.

“Tell me about it. I’m gonna go get this checked out. I’m glad you found your brother,” David said as he passed Drew.

Drew squeezed Luke a little tighter before Luke turned to face him. Luke was slightly confused at the smile on Drew’s face.

“Why do you have that goofy looking grin plastered all over your face?” Luke laughed.

“Jordan’s awake,” Drew smiled.

“I know. How is he?” Luke laughed.

“He seems alright now, but question is for how long. Right now he wants to meet you,” Drew smiled.

“He wants to meet m-me?” Luke stammered, feeling ten times more nervous than before.

“Yeah, come on.”

Drew pretty much pulled Luke to Jordan’s hospital room, but before he could drag him through the door Luke stopped him.

“Drew, what if he doesn’t like me?”

“He will love you.”

“Does he know about us?” Luke asked looking in the window then back to Drew.

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

“Maybe?”

“Well, I didn’t tell him. James was having Mom and I stalked to prove to Jordan we were still alive- threatened to kill us if he ran. You were in all the latest pictures with me. We didn’t exactly keep our relationship a secret from the public after coming out at the docks.”

Luke let out a nervous sigh.

“Just be cool. We won’t exhibit any PDA in front of him until we know what he thinks.”

Luke nodded, and Drew led him into the room. Jordan slowly sat up in his bed, and Jane smiled before getting up and giving Luke a hug.

“Jordan, this is Luke. Luke this is my little brother Jordan,” Drew grinned.

Jordan eyed him curiously. Luke gave him a nervous smile and honestly wished he could go and hide. Jordan’s eyes continued to travel between Drew and Luke before he finally spoke.

“So you’re the one who kept my brother sane lately. Nice to meet you,” Jordan smiled.

“How do you know that he has been keeping me sane?” Drew asked, furrowing his brows.

Jordan took another sip of his water and looked straight into his brother’s eyes.

“A picture says a thousand words, Drew, and I saw a lot of pictures,” he said.

Luke was getting nervous beside Drew. He couldn’t tell if Jordan was happy about it or angry. Drew seemed to be having the same problem, but neither of them wanted to risk asking Jordan what he knew. He already looked drained from just talking to them. Jane picked up on the tension herself, and as curious as she was, she couldn’t bring herself to ask either. Jane had always discouraged hate of any sort, but she knew she had never addressed homosexuality directly. She could only hope Jordan would be accepting of his brother.

“Drew, why don’t you and I go to the cafeteria and let these two get more acquainted?” Jane grinned as she neared the door.

“Sounds like a plan to me. Don’t kill each other,” Drew laughed as he left with Jane.

Alone with Jordan, Luke’s heart began to race. Nervously, he took a seat on the stool beside Jordan’s bed and waited for him to speak.

“Drew said you are afraid that I’m not going to like you?” Jordan questioned while looking into Luke’s eyes.

Luke only nodded his head in conformation as he stared at the floor.

“Do you actually give a damn about him or are you just being nice so that you will have a place to live?” Jordan certainly was very much like his older brother; very protective.

Luke looked up at Jordan immediately. “He means everything to me. I would never use him like that,” Luke said before thinking.

Jordan sighed, “I figured as much from that picture of Drew kissing you on the forehead. You must mean something to him if you got him on a picnic.”

“Oh, he surprised me on my birthday,” Luke said quietly. “Are you okay with it- I mean us?” Luke asked looking at Jordan nervously.

“Don’t really have much choice in the matter. He apparently cares a lot about you and I just got my family back so I’m not going to lose them over something like this.”

Luke nodded in understanding.

“But if you are just using him,” Jordan said in a frightening low voice, “things will not end well for you.”