Moving On - 5. Chapter 5

“Not a problem, Steph and I hope we’ll see each other again soon” he replied.

I exited from his car and walked to my house only to find the door was locked. I fumbled all over inside of my backpack for my keys.

“Shit, where is it…” as I searched my memory and realized, “Ah fuck, it’s in my room in my other jeans. God I’m such a fuckwad.”

The door suddenly opened, which made me jump. It was my mother.

“I heard that. It makes me wonder where you get that language,” she said in a stern voice.

“I got it from that Roseanne TV show” I grinned smartly.

“Ha-ha-ha. Get in the living room and explain something else I just found out today.”

Great, each time she sends me to the living room to explain something, it usually means I’ll get a telling off from her. I hope she hasn’t found out anything that I don’t want her to know. I went in the room and sat down on the couch. She joined me there with some ointment and gloves. Yep, that’s her nurse’s side showing.

“Let me see your head. C’mon, it won’t hurt. Show me where you fell on it.”

“No…” I know well enough that I hate that ointment she uses. Sure the family has been using it for several generations, but that doesn’t cut it when it burns like hell for the next five minutes.

“I’m not in the mood. I worked double shifts today. If you don’t tell me where, I’ll start tapping all over your head to find it.”

“Ok ok ok, you win. Right there and don’t overload the ointment.”

She observed the bruised area on my head for a minute.

“Today is your lucky day, you won’t need any.”

“Thank god…”

“You’re lucky someone was with you or God knows what would’ve happened to you if you’d been lying around for hours in the cold. Be careful next time or I won’t let you walk on the ice anymore” she carried on, acting like a mom as usual, “As you know tomorrow is garbage day and I had to go to your room to take the garbage out of the can.”

My mind pinged at that. She’d better not find those razors…

“And I found this mid-term ‘progress note’ from the teachers lying on your desk” she said as she took the note from her pocket. Pointing at it, she continued, “This is unacceptable that you’re on the borderline of failing French.”

“But…” I started to explain.

“There are no buts in failing a class, young man. If you don’t improve to a C at least for your next report card, then you can just forget about getting your driver’s license this summer as planned. I can just keep you on your learners permit till its expiration in ten months. End of the discussion. You figure out how to help yourself.”

“Ok, I’m going to bed. Night.” I answered coldly. It’s not worth testing Mom today after a long day at work.

“Good night.”

It could’ve been worse if she had found out about the razor in my garbage can. Now that could’ve been way too awkward and hard to find an excuse for. But damn, what a day. The new kid…the ice…the bed incident…his underwear…and our…kissing…

“And one more thing, Steph,” Mom interrupted from the stairs, “I took your socks for the laundry. I don’t find it very nice to unstick your socks that you used to clean up after your…errr…relieving the urge in your pants…if you get the picture.”

My face suddenly reddened so hard at that.

“Oh Mommm!!!” I whined.

“Do me a favor so I can keep what’s left of my sanity, use the tissues, please!”

Ugh, as usual, she never failed to embarrass me. I took off my clothes except my undies and went to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I looked at myself in the mirror after I spat out the toothpaste-water. I closely observed my appearance before the mirror.

“Pfff, gotta shave or Ben’ll think I’m a slob.”

I look at my body, twisting around to judge the features on my chest, back, and torso.

“Hmmm, I gotta do some toning up. It looks like I’m losing a little mass or maybe it’s just me. Compared to Ben, I’m a little less defined.”

Oh what am I thinking? I just met the boy today for god’s sake. He’s sexy as hell and I could’ve creamed in my pants if he had showed off by moving his naked body when I saw him earlier tonight, even if it was just a brief look. But I’m not even sure he’d think of me the same. Maybe I was too silly for him to have taken me seriously. Heh…

I walked to my room to get in bed. Jake the dog jumped up onto my bed and settled down to sleep next to my feet. I thought more of Ben, hoping I could dream of him all night just to be with him a little more. Thinking of his shyness…of his giggles…of his face, eyes, and skin…of his voice… And I dozed off to sleep.

“Yo Krist and Jake!” I called out as I came out of the trail in the woods the next morning to the bus stop across the road.

“Hey…” they both responded.

“Where have you been?” Krist asked bluntly out of the blue.

“What? Did I miss something?” I asked suspiciously.

Krist put his fingers on his chin and smartly said, “Hmmm, we were waiting for a certain person for quite a while for a hockey game on the ice after school, but he didn’t show up” he gave me a surprise gasp in a mocking way.

“Oh shit! I forgot. I’m sorry but I have an excuse for it.”

“Go ahead, Steph.” Jake said before Krist attempted once again to be a smartass.

So I explained to them about the falling on the ice incident, ending up staying at Ben’s, and wasn’t able to come home alone because of the potential concussion risk after the hard fall. Naturally I left out what happened with Ben and me about his coming out, the bed incident, and then the passionate kissing. I smiled at myself for saying “passionate”.

“What are you smiling at?” Krist glared at me, “It’s not funny…”

“Shit, lucky someone was with you. Imagine…” Jake added.

“We’ll forgive you, but how about texting us next time when you’re planning to not show up.” Krist interrupted him and waved his brand-new blue cell phone that he got for Christmas.

“Even if I could, I wouldn’t have your new number.” And that would be point one to me for a smart comeback. Ah, don’t I love hearing that.

“Damn…gimme your phone.” Krist took it out of my backpack and started to dial his number in my address book.

“Here’s the bus, guys.” Jake pointed out.

The bus stopped and the door popped open. Yep, Fran again, giving us a full sweep with her cold, staring eyes as if she has x-ray vision to see through us to make sure we’re not smuggling anything. I can see Krist wincing when he caught her eyes looking into his. We walked down the aisle to catch the seats around Alex. We started to talk to him, filling him in on stuff, and then talking about random subjects. I sat back and looked out the frosty window to see the trees, snowbanks, mailboxes, and all of the stuff next to the road. Couple more stops and Ben will come in, if he does. I hope last night’s incident didn’t discourage him from taking the bus with me on it or even from seeing me. It’s hard not to think about it because it was too awesome. Oh I could do it again if only I could make myself move towards him at the next chance. Only a few minutes wait will tell.

I kept an eye outside the windows while talking to my friends. I had to get back into the conservation or they’d think I was ignoring them. In a minute the bus will stop and the boy will come in, and that makes me more nervous and nervous as I get closer. I have to see his face, hair, body, lips, eyes, and everything about him because I’m afraid I may have forgotten to remember any of them. I just need to…100 feet away …50 …25 …10 …5 … and we’re here!

I felt shivers traveling through the inside of my body as I eyed the door. Couple elementary school kids came in, and that was it as the bus door closed. What the fuck? Where is he? I looked around the windows for any trace of him and there was none. Oh shit shit shit, have I really scared him away so that he doesn’t want to see my worthless face in the bus? What have I done…I knew I shouldn’t have kissed him like that. The bus started to leave and I turned around to look at the backside windows, and I see someone running to the bus. It was Ben trying to catch up with the bus and it looked like he won’t make it, but he dared what I would never do with Fran’s bus. He kicked it hard. The bus made a sudden stop and I could see Fran moving her head around quickly looking at a few of the mirrors. He walked alongside to the door and she caught him in the right mirrors. She swore under her breath and opened the door. It seemed like she decided to try to make today a bad day for him.

“No one hits my bus,” she growled at Ben, loud enough for everyone to hear.

“You were driving away, what other choices did I have? Throw snowballs?” he replied short of breath from all of the running.

“Yeah, you could’ve and I would’ve had the pleasure of sending you personally to the principal” she said sarcastically.

“Yeah, I could’ve” he mocked her, “It would’ve been a real pleasure to scratch some paint off with a little ice in the snowball.”

Fran looked stung from his comeback. He should’ve not done that, since we know well not to mess with her.

“Sit down, you’re making me late to drop off the kids!” she ordered tensely, refraining herself from yelling in front of many elementary kids.

He said something very lightly under his breath once he turned his back to her as he found a seat. But I could’ve sworn he said “crisse” (fuck) somewhere in the line. Good thing he said it in French, or Fran could’ve kicked him out of the bus and made him get to school himself. He saw me and winked his left eye to me, and proceeded to sit down a few seats ahead of me. He seemed to be a little amused with this little drama, and I’ve never seen anyone who managed to deal with Fran and actually get away with it before.

I hadn’t noticed that Krist had been watching me all along.

“Jupiter calling Steph” he said.

“What? Am I missing something here or what?” I asked him confusedly.

“Not really, it’s just you’ve been out of it for a while and too quiet” he said.

“Well, look, I bumped my head hard yesterday. So maybe it shouldn’t be surprising I may be a little weird. I can’t self-heal myself like Harry Potter could.”

“Ok ok ok, I forgot for a moment. As I were saying to Alex…” and he went off telling me what his little brother had done to him last night. I think he put his pet snake loose in his room or something. Krist doesn’t like snakes and I can’t understand why some people are like that. If it’s not poisonous, then I can’t see what’s the big deal. It’s best to pay attention to my friends throughout the bus ride. I can deal with Ben later in a couple of my classes we have together.

I got off the bus, waved at my friends to see them later, and went into school with Krist to English literature.

“So any plans today?” Krist asked.

“Not really...” I replied as I paced a little quicker, pushing Krist to do the same as the bell will ring soon. Ben’s little conversation with Fran made us arrive to school a little later than usual. I show Krist the clock we were passing, and he noticed what I was trying to tell him.

“Oh shit, 30 seconds…” Krist started to pace a little quicker as well.

We made it in time as once we stepped into classroom, the bell rang. Mrs. Benton glared at us and instructed us to take our seats so she can start the roll call. And that commences the snooze hour for me. I’m still tired from yesterday and from going to bed a little late. I’m not going to miss anything since I have Krist to keep me updated, that is if he doesn’t snooze off like I’m doing. In my daydream, I’ve been getting snapshots of what happened when I was with Ben when he was napping. His hug. Our kiss. And his muttering in French that I never came to understand. Ben sounded disturbed when he said it all, like something traumatic had happened not too long ago. I heard it usually affects people through unintentional ways, like acting it out in your sleep. Then I felt a strange thump from my chair.

“Sorry sorry sorry, B…” I woke up suddenly and blurted. Nearly said Ben’s name for nothing. I looked at Krist who was pointing at the teacher on the other side of the room, collecting homeworks.

“Oh, thanks…” I whispered to him.

He looked at me a little suspiciously.

“Remember, I might be acting weird because I hit my fucking head hard yesterday.”

He remembered and rolled his eyes. He mouthed, “sorry, I forgot…again” to me.

Mrs. Benton took my barely finished homework, and then the bell rang.

“Ok class, make sure you read the assignment that I wrote on the board. It’s not too much to do, just several pages to read. Mike, Peter, and Jenny, pass your homework to me,” said Mrs. Benton trying to tell the class before it started to flood out of the room.

“See you at lunch, Krist.” I waved him bye and he returned it.

Now it’s Ben time! Oh I cannot wait… Oh shit, I forgot, he doesn’t take French anymore. Goddamn it, I looked at my schedule to see when I’d have him in my class. Ah damn, one more class before gym with him. Oh damn, he’ll be in the locker room…changing… This day is now being so good to me to let me have another moment to see his wonderfully built chest that I’ve become addicted to. Why am I so gay today than any other day? I headed into my next class and hope time will be kind to me as well and speed things up.

I walked into the door leading to the locker room. The locker room is in the “basement” of the school, except that it would be the lowest floor that isn’t entirely buried (about 2/3 of it is exposed from the outside). But it’s a little creepy nonetheless because cockroaches are known to be found there, though I only saw them twice while being there. I popped the locker room door and several students are already there changing into their gym clothes. I looked around for Ben.

“Oh sorry, Steve,” I looked at a boy in his undies and he was putting his hand into his package to straighten up his thing.

“It’s ok, Steph” he blushed slightly, “Gotta straighten the little man up or it’d get in the way if I play anything today.”

“No problem, we’re guys here. I feel the same, so there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. We touch our dicks a million times a day for all kinds of reasons,” I waved him bye.

I walked around the locker room for several more seconds till I reached the far end of the room. Behind another row of lockers, I saw Ben sitting on the bench with his backpack opened, showing his gym clothes.

“Hey…” I said.

“Hey…” he answered back.

“What’s up?” as I sat next to him and getting my clothes out of my backpack.

“Well, too shy to change with people around.”

“Shy? Ben, there’s no time for that. If you want to change, you better do it now before even more kids come in the locker room. Time is not on your side, bud.”

“Yeah, you’re right…”

“And I already saw you in your undies and I have no problem with it.” I assured him. Right, only problem I would have is trying to control myself, especially my stick in my pants. He never really listens to me when I want him to.

He blushed easily through his pale white skin. I looked at him one more time in his eyes to see if he will do it. I think I now have a word to describe the odd shape of his eyes, they’re almost shaped like almonds. They’re beautiful.

Ben nodded his head agreeing to do it sooner than later.

“Don’t worry about after class, we’ll just change a few minutes before everyone else. We’ll just sneak out. The gym teacher never notices since there’s too many kids to watch out for in such a short amount of time.” I again assured him.

Ben slowly took off his shirt, showing his muscles twisting around under his cream white skin. Ben is not very muscular, just well toned for a typical teenaged body. I took my eyes off him as his head started to come out. I don’t want him to see that I was watching, and then I joined him taking my shirt off. Yep, compared to him, I’m just a little less toned, but I’m still good enough to fit into the sexiness category… Euh, maybe I should leave that to Ben or someone else to judge instead of myself or I’ll end up being accused of being egotistical.

I joined Ben taking our jeans off, hence leaving us just in briefs.

“Hehe…” I snickered quietly.

“What?!” Ben glared at me alarmingly.

“You got Mario Brothers on your ass. Why?” I snickered again, trying hard not to laugh.

“Actually, the real question should be…” he grinned evilly, “Why are you looking at my ass?” he winked. Shit, he got me there.

“I was just observing my surrounding, that’s all.” I forced myself not to give any hint of blushing.

“Sureee…” he said as he put his gym shorts on, and I followed him doing the same with mine.

“Let’s go…we have to be in gym now.” I told him.

Ben followed me to the stairs leading up to the huge gym room. Since the school is already over 70 years old, the gym is quite old as well. The bleachers are just as ancient as the school, except for new coats of paint to hide decades of wear and tears. The wood gym floor may look brand new compared to the school, but it’s just as old as the school itself as well. As long as you maintain the finish often, it can go on for another 70 years of uses, if the school will continue to be open in a growing high-tech globalizing world. It has huge windows 20 feet high up near the roofs to let in natural sunlight to help in reducing the need for large high wattage lights all over the gym.

The teacher, who’s actually the current coach of the school’s football team, called out our names and checked our clothes to make sure we’re dressed for the class. If you forget more than two times, you’ll fail the class, simple as that no matter how good you are out on the floor.

“Ok!” the teacher barked in the usual coach speak, “We’re going to split the floor today for you guys to pick out which sport you will play for the day. First half will be dedicated to basketball and the other half will go for hockey. So decide your sport, divide into two teams and make sure they’re equal numbers. I’ll be watching, so no cheating. So get your butts on the floor to form teams till I give you the word to start play.”

“Wanna play hockey?” I asked to Ben. He agreed.

We all separated into two and then fours, joining teams. The teacher then counted us to make sure we’re the right number against the other team. He had to tell five kids to get out of the basketball half of the floor because we didn’t have enough to play hockey.

“But I want to…” the kid with glasses moaned.

“Just get in there. I have to be make it fair for everyone” he barked at the kid, “Ok, you got 30 minutes and keep track of the scores yourself. No lying on the numbers or you’ll deal with me. Now play!” And he assigned himself to one of the hockey goal post while he asked his aide to do the other side. Someone has to monitor the posts to make sure the puck actually went in or not.

The game went on and on. We played two rounds since the scores on each side were getting too high and we didn’t want to lose count. The teacher ended the game ten minutes before we have to go back to the locker room, so we all sat down to take a break and watch the basketball game finishing off. As the teacher went to monitor the game, I elbowed Ben’s arm to let him know we can sneak to the locker room now. The teacher is 60 feet away on the other side of the floor, so he won’t notice since he’s too busy paying attention to the boys playing.

We went down to the stairs to the locker room and then to our lockers at the far end of the room. We unlocked the locks and opened the doors. Ben sat down.

“I gotta take a piss, be back in a second.” I told him and he nodded.

I walked past a couple rows of lockers to the urinals. I didn’t really need to take a piss, I just needed to readjust my dick in the right spot because if I get a boner, it will show too much in my gym shorts, or worse, it would pop out of my underwear’s waistband.

“Back so soon?” Ben looked at me and he’s already shirtless.

“I’m quick” I replied, taking off my shirt and shorts. Ben joined me, taking off his shorts after me. It seemed he’s not so shy around me and doesn’t mind my presence here, despite being almost naked in front of each other.

Although the locker room has showers, but unlike many other high schools, no one really uses them because there isn’t enough time. Gym only gives us 10 minutes to get ready. So that saves some of us from awkwardly showering around naked guys with their dicks flopping around at every moves they make. Hell, I wouldn’t even take it very well being surrounded by guys and I would have a major boner lasting for an hour unless I “relieve” it.

“Aren’t we taking showers?” Ben asked with his towel on his shoulder.

“We don’t do that. Besides, you don’t seem to be all sweaty and neither am I. I don’t really sweat, so there’s no reason to shower when we’re not dirty at all.” I told him. Oh well, missed a chance to see what he has in his brief, not like there would be any chance in the locker room showers anyway.

“Yea, you’re right. I’m fortunate enough not to have the sweat glands of a pig,” he said, “Erm, Steph, about last night” he added.

“What about it?” as I put deodorant under my arms.

“The kissing. What do you think?” he asked.

“What do I think? Errr…well, it was…heh…” I stuttered.

“I knew it! I knew it! I shouldn’t’ve let it happen! I’m so sorry. That has to mess you up. I’m sorry…I’m sorry…will you forgive me?!” he panicked.

“Ben…Ben…Ben…it’s ok! I really...” I put a smile on my face, “…loved it” I finished my statement.

Ben looked at me perplexedly and confused, as he seemed to be trying to process what I’ve just said.

“You weren’t clear last night. All you said was ‘maybe….’,” he said, “ So just let me ask and be honest.”

“What?” I asked quietly.

“Are you gay…or bi at least?”

“Oh man, he actually asked me. What to answer…yes? Or no? What I have to lose?”

“I dunno…” it slipped out off of my tongue.

“C’mon, Steph, don’t bullshit me. I’ve seen many times where you’ve showed me hints. I caught you checking me out when you thought I wouldn’t have noticed. Jesus, looking at my ass was a good giveaway. Last night, you were nervous and quite fixated on my body before kissing me. And don’t tell me that kiss was just for show. I know you wouldn’t fuck around with my head over that,” he emphasized the last few words, “Just tell me! Yes or no. You’ll always be my friend…and the only one so far. You won’t lose me. Just tell me…” he begged.

“Well, I…”

“Bzzzzzz, wrong answer! You only got two to pick from, yes or no” he cut me off.

I looked at him, staring for a few seconds. Ben gave me a ‘go ahead’ look trying to get me to satisfy him. I don’t know why I am hesitating here. I never came out to anyone but myself. But he’s one of my kinds and I shouldn’t have any fear in telling him. Ok Steph, stay strong and get it out of your mouth. My heart started to beat heavier and heavier.

“I’m…” I started.

“FUCK! Stay it, goddammit! Yes or no?” Ben said in a very frustrated tone.

“Will you let me fucking finish what I was going to say. God…” I hissed back to him, “I was going to say…I’m gay like you and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you at the same time when you told me yesterday.” Ugh, now that took the weigh off my heart and I sighed out loud.

“I knew it. That’s what I wanted to hear. It’s ok…I will never tell anyone. Usually gay people don’t rat each other out” he pulled me into a hug, putting his smooth bare chest against mine.

“I know, but in fact, I came to terms with myself just yesterday morning before I met you.” I admitted to him, “So it’s almost all new to me.”

“Really?! That explains why…you’re not used to it,” he said, “I accepted myself a couple of years ago, so it is a little easier for me now than before.” Ben stopped and looked at my eyes. “Damn, I have to admit… if you don’t mind me saying, your deep blue eyes are just amazing” he blushed while saying that.

“And it took me forever to describe the shape of your eyes…shaped almost like almonds. Hell, the color is even the same as almonds. It’s so mysterious and unique. I think I’m obsessed now.” I smiled warmly to him

That didn’t really help to stop Ben from blushing, all it did was make it worse. He came closer and closer and placed his soft red lips onto mine, pulling us into the same passionate kiss we had last night. Our lips parted to let in our tongues and we started to explore each other’s mouths. I placed my hand on his bare back, rubbing it slowly around to feel the texture of his skin, soft and smooth like a baby’s behind. And I placed my other hand on his leg to feel his peach fuzz all over it. Ben did the same to me with his hands. We’d been making out and exploring with our hands for a couple minutes before stopping.

“Whoa…stop for a minute…” Ben spoke softly, recovering from the emotional surge caused by the kiss.

“What’s wrong?” I rubbed my cheek against his, “Am I doing it bad?”

“No, I just want to tell you something. I just don’t want to be hurt again…” he said with a soft voice.

I moved a few feet back from him, surprised.

“Be hurt? But I haven’t done anything?” I asked confusedly.

“Well…”

“Oh, that’s just wonderful! I don’t know why the hell you brought that up when we’re just simply having a wonderful kissing session,” I told him a little annoyed.

“Whoa…whoa…calm down…I didn’t mean it that way” he seemed stunned from my tone of voice.

“Well? Explain!” I demanded.

I had a spark of thought in my mind. Hurt… it couldn’t be? I started to think about the bed incident yesterday and the daydream reminder today. Maybe that’s what it was about, Ben seemed to be hurt as well as scared and uncomfortable during that incident. “Was it about yesterday’s bed incident when you had that dream?”

“Yes…” he sighed, “I’ll explain. Before I…” and he was interrupted by the sound of students coming down the stairs and entering the locker room.

“The class is over. Get dressed. I’ll take you somewhere for privacy,” I suggested, “Quick!” I pushed a little to get him moving.