the Edge of the Abyss - 1. The Hookup

the Edge of the Abyss

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive
-from Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls

The days after Jeff's death were a blur. I spent them as stoned or drunk as I could arrange. I had a bad case of pretending not to give a shit but the only person I was fooling was myself

My boss knew what happened. She could tell I was messed up. I couldn't concentrate. Jeff was my tether to the world. Now that he was gone, I wanted to float away.

After a few weeks of being more dead than alive, my boss gave me an ultimatum- take some of your time off and go get your shit together. I wasn't much good to anybody in that state. By this time it was March and time for spring break.

Not having a shit ton of money available, I set my sights on a cheap motel in Biloxi on the beach. It wasn't much of a spring break destination but the town was gearing up for the summer season. I figured I could get trashed and maybe even get laid if I was lucky.

As soon as work was done that Friday, I had my truck packed and I hit the road. I got to Biloxi three and a half hours later and stopped to eat at a joint called Ray's Po Boys. I had a cup of gumbo and a shrimp po boy and was treated to the odd but fun sounds of zydeco.

Once I was done there I went down to beach to my favorite cheap hotel. It was very old fashioned with individual cabins so I moved in, got cleaned up and walked down the beach for a bar crawl.

The first place was a dump but they were selling a odd drink they called a pineapple margarita. I had two as the drinks were good but the crowd was dead. I went down the beach and finally found the place I was looking for.

It looked like a shit house on the outside but the inside was thumping with dance music. I had found the local gay bar with all the usual accouterments: overpriced and under powered drinks, over loud dance music and a crowd that appeared to be tripping balls on ecstasy.

It was early yet so I got a table and a drink and sat back to see what might come my way.

By ten o'clock the place was really beginning to thump and fill up. Much to my dismay the crowd was pretty young which gave me a bad case of the mehs. I got stamped and snuck out back to the pier to burn a joint.

While I was out there I could see a number of couples making out on the beach. It was a dark, moonless night and all you could see were a number of moving lumps. Simply charming.

As I was turning around to leave I almost ran into this long-haired kid in an Ole Miss shirt and board shirts.

He said, "Hey dude, you got a light?"

I handed him my Bic and he lite a joint with that stinky smell of really strong weed.

He said, "Thanks. You want a hit?"

"Sure thing. Smells good."

"Yeah. It came from the pot farm at Ole Miss."

"No shit? How did you get it?"

"I bought it off a guy who has a connection inside. Way better than the bunk homegrown that's going around."

As I hit the stuff it had that skunky taste and it went right to my head.

I coughed and said, "Tastes strong."

We sat side by side on the pier and passed it back and forth until the joint was done and chatted amiably.

"That's good weed. Thanks for sharing. I'm Jim."

The kid looked a little spaced out and said, "I'm Lee."

He leaned against me. I put an arm around him to keep him from falling in and said, "You all right?"

He snuggled against me and said, "I think I'm all right now."

I chuckled and said, "How old are you kid?"

"Nineteen."

"I know it's dark out here but I'm..."

He shrugged and said, "I'm kinda new to this. I don't really know how bars work. I figured I'd meet my kind of guy out back smoking a joint."

I laughed and said, "Are you sure?"

Lee was quiet for a minute and said, "I'm not exactly a virgin but I don't have a lot of experience. I don't trust guys my own age to keep their mouths shut. So uhh... would you like to fuck me?"

"Damn kid, you don't beat around the bush do you?'

"I dropped a tab a few hours ago so maybe I'm a little more motivated than usual." In the dark he ran his hand down my chest and stopped of my crotch. "Besides, I think I like what I found out here in the dark."

As he caressed my cock through my jeans, I got a good whiff of his hair. It was quite long running over his shoulder and a shade of blond like pale gold. The smell of it made me harden and my heart pound.

He said quietly in my ear as he ground against me, "I've got a room at the Broadwater but I'm sharing it with a couple of friends. Have you got a place?"

"Yeah, I've got a room a few bars down the beach."