Lessons In Life - 3. Chapter 3

I felt cold sweat trail down my naked back as I used my fingers to spread the charcoal on the paper I worked on. Picking up a charcoal stick, I added curves and lines on my drawing to give a part of it more definition while hiding other parts in shadow through smearing. As I let the need to create something out of nothing take over, I allowed my mind to wander. Not surprisingly, I thought of Phil.

Stopping for a while, my eyes wandered to the shirt I unkindly tossed in a corner earlier. Due to the way the cloth was bunched up, I couldn’t see its sauce-stained front, but knew it was there. The related memory made me frown and I punched the wall using the fist holding the charcoal stick. When I opened my hand, six dark grey shards and a few smaller fragments lay on my palm.

The charcoal pieces dropped to the bed when I tilted my hand sideways. Letting go of Phil could be as easy as that, right? Not that he’d been mine, but I should give up pursuing him. By forgetting about him, I’d save myself from a whole lot of trouble, if not humiliation. But am I strong enough to walk away?

Phil, you son of a bitch, what kind of magic did you cast on me? If you expect me to pursue you, you’re dreaming. I’d find a way to break off from your clutches for sure. You should be the one groveling for my attention anyway, not the other way around. This is wrong. Oh so wrong.

Yet I felt the mysterious pull he had on me despite the walls shielding me from his presence. The mere thought of him left me... wanting for more. I yearned to be with him. I must be going crazy. How could one guy have this effect on me? I miss him. No matter how much I denied it, I knew this to be true.

Working on my drawing again, the scene in Phil’s apartment replayed in my mind. It would end in heartache, mine for a change.

With a grin on my face, Phil and I made our way to his apartment laden with our bags of purchases. In contrast, the expression on his face clearly reflected that the last thing he wanted was to invite me to his place. Too late, I had tricked him into doing what I wanted. ‘Now to execute the rest of my plan.’

“So this is my flat.” He stood at the threshold and motioned me in. With feigned interest, I stepped inside and looked around. ‘Not bad’, I thought to myself. The whole apartment looked just slightly bigger than my room in the States, but who cared, right?

“This place is awesome.”

He studied my face, assessing the sincerity of my words. I didn’t blink when he peered deep in my eyes. In the end, he averted his gaze. Seeing his uneasiness, I realized I had the upper hand. If I played this right, I just might win and his sweet, sweet ass would be my prize. I’d finally be able to get him out of my system and move on.

“Thanks, I guess. It’s small, I know, but it’s what I call home. It has been that since I graduated from school anyway.” Like a trapped animal, Phil moved warily in his own apartment.

When I placed my hand on his shoulder blade, he flinched then his body went rigid as I lowered my touch, stopping at the place where his back ended and his ass began. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to criticize your apartment, I’m just used to... some luxury. Yeah, it’s small, but it has this ‘homey’ feel to it. Can’t say the same about the mansion I used to live in. It’s a big house, that’s it.”

As he straightened his back, he inched slightly away and cleared his throat. Without a sideways glance at me, he took out a couple of plates and glasses and two sets of cutleries from the cupboard and drawers, placing them neatly on a table made from some tropical wood which could seat four at the most.

“Water? Juice? Wine?” He gave the offer with his back at me. I took a peek at the contents of his refrigerator and my mouth opened a bit as I saw how organized the inside was. Too organized. Plastic containers were stacked in order on one side while bottles of beverages were neatly piled beside it. A desire to put something awry came to me just so I could see how he’d react, but I controlled myself.

“Juice, please.”

Furrowed brows and pursed lips adorned his face when he turned around while absent-mindedly running his hand on a bottle of carrot juice. I could probably guess what went on in his head. He couldn’t wrap his mind on the fact that I favored a bottle of juice over wine. ‘A small price to pay to land the big prize—him.’

I kindly smiled at him and with a nod of his head, he invited me to sit down. Timidly, I parked my bum on a chair, letting a little embarrassment show on my face. “Can I help in any way?”

With his undivided attention on the liquid he poured in my glass, I felt the beginning of a smile cross my lips. ‘I’m making him nervous.’ As if on cue, his hand trembled and droplets of juice splattered on the table. ‘This is so much fun.’

Before he could say anything, I got some tissues from a box I noticed near the kitchen sink and wiped off the juice droplets from the table. “Careful,” I said while taking the bottle from him. “Why don’t you sit down and let me finish, ok?”

Disbelief danced in his eyes when he dropped himself on the chair opposite mine. “Sorry.”

“No need to be sorry.” It was my turn to fill his glass with juice. “You’re probably tired from all the walking we did earlier. Allow me to serve you as thanks for keeping me company.”

After opening all the food containers we brought home with us, I offered him the vegetable salad and t-bone steak. He transferred the food onto his plate without a word. Shrugging, I resumed my place opposite him and ate my way through a hefty serving of tenderloin steak and steaming baked potato.

Hunger took over and each bite I took felt like heaven. Setting aside etiquette, I chewed loudly and mmmed my appreciation. A few minutes later, I heard Phil chuckle. Opening my eyes, he had an amused expression on his face with one brow raised.

“What?” As I looked at him, I forked another piece of steak and put it in my mouth then slowly slid the fork out.

Phil sputtered as he choked on the juice he just drank. I stood up and rubbed his back while he coughed vehemently. Leaning closer, my face was inches away from him. “Are you ok?”

His coughing continued while he nodded. With a smile, I noticed the redness on his cheeks spread across his face. He kept pushing me away, but I maintained my grip on his arm as I rubbed his back. After some time, he drank some juice and the room suddenly became quiet.

“Clive, thanks. I’m ok now.” He turned to me and our eyes met, his hot breath caressing my face. Our eye contact lingered, none of us daring to move. Ever so slightly, I moved my face closer to his, his irises dilating as the distance between us dwindled. When a hairbreadth separated our lips, I straightened up and went back on my seat. Phil gazed at me dumbfounded, his lips quivering.

I saw him swallow while his eyes moved from side to side. He exhaled in relief as he passed his tongue through his lips. Straightening himself, he eyed me with an expression of newfound admiration on his face. ‘It’s working.’

Acting like I paid him no heed, I continued to munch on my food with the same passion as before. He watched my every move as he played with his food. While cutting a piece of steak, my hand slipped and a blob of steak sauce landed on the front of my shirt. ‘How clumsy of me.’ I watched it drip down my front until I spied Phil standing beside me with a handful of tissue on his hand. Taking it from him, I rubbed it against my front, managing to spread the sauce all over myself.

Disgusted, I looked up and Phil’s concerned face met me. Holding the front of my shirt away from my body, I asked, “Can I use your bathroom?”

Phil walked in front of me and held the bathroom door open as I entered. Closing it behind me, I hurriedly took off my shirt and looked at myself on the mirror. A mischievous smile played on my lips. I undid my belt and my pants dropped to the floor.

Turning the knob, I stepped out of the bathroom to find Phil waiting for me outside, his arms crossed in front of him. His eyes travelled from my naked feet, hairy legs and muscular thighs then lingered at my crotch. I could almost feel his reluctance as he moved his gaze upwards at my flat stomach, toned chest and finally, at my face. I bit my lower lip as I moved toward him. He stepped back, but I continued to advance until I was inches away from him. Holding both his arms so he couldn’t escape, I peered deep into his green eyes.

A knocked snapped me back to reality. Welcoming the interruption, I bounded from my bed and opened the door. A handsome guy waited for me on the corridor, the blond hunk I noticed yesterday. I leaned against the doorframe, my smile widening, fully aware that I was naked from the waist up. Crossing my arms in front of me to show him my thick arms, my blond guy blinked twice as if he couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

“Hi. What can I do for you?”

With red streaks on his cheeks, he looked up at me, a half-smile on his lips. “Hey. It seems like I caught you on a bad time, sorry. I’ll come back later.”

He turned to go, but I placed a hand on his shoulder to stop him. Slowly, his eyes met mine and I got lost in the richness of his gray eyes. I brushed my thumb against his shoulder to which he squirmed. “Please come in.”

As the door closed, I placed my hand on his side and ushered him in. “Let me just put on a shirt, ok?”

“Don’t bother,” he blurted out. He bit his lower lip and said something inaudible under his breath. “I mean, I’m not gonna stay long anyway.”

“That’s cool then.” Setting aside the sketch book and broken charcoal stick, I plopped down the bed then patted the space beside me. With one last look at my naked upper body, he sat down beside me. I planted my hands on both sides of me so that my left arm touched his back. It took a while before either of us said anything.

“I’m Clive. What’s your name?” I turned to him and his body went rigid as my breath touched his exposed skin.

Before replying, he relaxed his body so that I was supporting his back with my arm. “I’m Ethan. Just came by to welcome you. Hope you’re enjoying yourself so far.”

I heard his breath hitch as I brushed my lips against his shoulder. “I am now. Thanks for dropping by.”

Turning to me, his eyes searched deep within mine. I saw him licking his lips a couple of times. He wants me. Without any hesitation, I placed my lips against his and kissed him. He returned the kiss, making my heart beat faster and taking my breath away. When we broke apart, a satisfied smile played on both of our lips.

“How about we meet tonight? In your room,” I suggested. Meeting his gaze, I let him see through my eyes how much I want him.

He nodded his head then told me how to get to his room. As I went with him to the door, he planted a kiss on my lips before going out.

I knew I was fucked up as soon as the door closed behind him. Images of Phil came rushing back, overwhelming me. As I sank to my knees, I felt his lips on mine like when he kissed me earlier on his living room. Damn him. Why did he have to lock himself in his bathroom after that?