Bless the Beasts and the Children - 2. Chapter 2

I managed to keep a stiff upper lip as long as Remus could see me, but inside I was seething and fighting hard not to boil over. Damn Bellabitch, and her stupid mutt Lestrange. All their fault I almost missed the train to Hogwarts. More importantly, I almost missed being with Remus, and that was what upset me most of all. Not the fight, not having been hurt—I’d managed to give as good as I got, and Roddy would undoubtedly have the fat lip to prove it—but letting down Remus. Being late. Worrying him.

I was too good at that, and I knew it. Merlin knew why he put up with me, but I was grateful he did.

Since we were among the last to board, we’d managed to miss the usual hubbub and crush as everyone found a place for the long journey to the school. I followed behind Remus as we hurried us down the corridor, as if we would meet with some sort of calamity if we didn’t get to our seats before the train began to move. Judging by the fact that Remus had been alone on the platform, I surmised the rest of our merry band was already aboard, saving seats for us. No worries. I knew James and Peter had us covered.

“Remus, hold up!” I tried to get him to slow down by tugging at the sleeve of his robe, but he shook me off.

“Do you have any idea which car they’re in?” I tried again. This time he actually halted in his tracks, so suddenly, I almost plowed into him. He put up his hands, just in time. I wasn’t complaining. My face was mere centimeters from his, so close I could feel the warmth of his breath.

“Sirius!” he fairly hissed at me, his cheeks blooming a bright red as he took a quick step back. I’m not sure if it was my proximity, or the fact that he had no clue to where the others were sitting, and hadn’t thought to make any arrangements beforehand. Then again, he hadn’t expected me to be late, did he?

Then his eyes got all soft as they scanned my face, and I knew he was upset all over again that I’d been fighting, and he was worried that I’d gotten hurt, and he was afraid for me. Simply afraid for me. With my family, that was a smart thing to be. Sometimes I was afraid for me too.

“It’s better than it looks,” I volunteered. “Honestly.”

He started to cluck his tongue, and he probably had a few choice words on the tip of that tongue… and Merlin, how badly I wanted to tangle that tongue with mine and make him forget everything except how much he loved me and I loved him… when I heard a compartment door slide open, too close to us for comfort. I’d been swaying toward Remus, but I drew back, not knowing who it might be. Then I heard a familiar voice, and I breathed a sigh of relief.

“It’s about time you two showed up. Save the happy reunion for later and get your arses in here.” Despite his words, James was grinning from ear-to-ear. He wasn’t likely to be upset at my little altercation of the familial kind, and would undoubtedly request to hear the full details. I glanced through the open door of the compartment and spotted Peter. He cheerily waved at me and I waved back.

James tugged on my arm and yanked me inside. I tried not to fall on top of Peter, who laughed and scooted out of the way. I noticed he allowed Remus to enter without attempting to manhandle him.

I straightened my robes and took a seat across from Peter, pointedly looking between Remus and the empty spot beside me. Before he could take advantage of my offer, James had parked himself there, and Remus ended up next to Peter. I scowled at James, but he was his usual oblivious self.

“So what happened to you? You look like something the cat dragged in,” he said.

“And you look like something the cat upchucked,” I said in return. He self-consciously smoothed down his hair, which insisted on sticking back up again anyway.

“Hush, you two.” Remus was in command of himself once more. “Sirius, let me take a look at you.”

I started to argue, but he gave me a look, and I held my tongue. Sometimes he treated me like I was five years old or something. And sometimes maybe I acted that way. He meant well, and I knew it.

Remus muttered, “Lumos,” even as James and Peter snickered. I gave them the finger.

“Why, I’m shocked at such vulgarity, Mr. Black!” James exclaimed in an attempt at humor. “Aren’t you shocked, Mr. Pettigrew?”

“I am,” Peter agreed—he always agreed, no surprise there.

“You’re going to have a shiner,” Remus predicted, as he tenderly probed the area around my eye. “We’ll have to cover that up before Professor Dumbledore sees it. He won’t be happy with you, if he does.”

“When is Dumbledore ever happy with me?” I retorted, but then subsided at the next look I received. “Yeah, okay. Cover it up.”

Remus knew quite a few healing spells, having spent too much time in the infirmary on a monthly basis, and being familiar with different types of wounds. He patched me up quickly, with tender touches and knowing chants, and once he was convinced I was not at death’s door, I talked him into sitting beside me, relegating Jamie to the spot next to Peter. And didn’t I give Potter the smuggest grin? He only laughed.

“So tell me, did old Roddy hit you in the eye?” James asked.

I grimaced at the remembrance. “Yeah, Bella’s lapdog hit me. Big ox. Malfoy watched the whole thing, too. Never lifted a finger, the bastard.”

“That’s not his style,” James said. “He’s like Snape. Both of them like to lurk and let others do their dirty work for them. So what were you fighting about this time?”

Now it was my turn to blush. Merlin, I hated my family so much. “The usual. Dark magic. Family heritage. That lunatic wizard they think is so great. Why is Sirius such a failure? Why can’t we disown him now and avoid the rush?”

I must have sounded more bitter than I realized. Remus took my hand in his and squeezed.

“Sirius, they’re not worth it. None of them. You’re worth more than they ever will be, they’re just jealous of you.”

“Jealous? That lot? Ha!” That would be the day. Especially Bella and Rodolphus. They thought they were just the perfect couple. My parents had once considered tying me to Bellabitch in unholy matrimony. Something about strengthening the bloodlines. Luckily, they changed their mind and went with Lestrange instead.

If they ever found out about me and Remus, I’d be dead meat. As far as they all knew, we were just friends.

“Did you hit him first?”

Damn, Remus was too astute for my own good. I looked at the floor, at the ceiling, out the window… anywhere but at him. That tactic didn’t work for long.

“Sirius…”

I took a deep breath, glanced at Remus, and nodded.

“What did she say about me?”

“Called you a filthy half-breed,” I mumbled, although I knew damn well he could hear every word what with that werewolf hearing of his. “Said people like you shouldn’t be allowed at Hogwarts.” I hated saying the words, but I wasn’t about to lie. I wouldn’t want him to lie to me, if our situations were reversed.

“Sirius, please don’t fight because of me,” Remus said softly.

I felt warm tears prickle my eyes. I tried to clear my throat before I could release them.

“Hey, Pete, let’s take a walk,” James said suddenly.

“What? Why? I’d rather stay here and listen to Sirius,” Pete protested. I knew he hadn’t caught on to what James was doing, but I had.

“Maybe we can find the food trolley,” James persisted, and that caught Peter’s attention. That boy always did enjoy his food.

“Oh, sure,” he agreed, and they both cleared out of the compartment quickly. James ducked his head back in long enough to say, “I’ll keep him occupied as long as I can. Don’t be all day about it,” then disappeared again.

I managed to magic the blinds down so no one could see inside, just before Remus threw his arms around me, crushing me to him. I sniffled, still fighting the tears. Remus had seen me cry before, didn’t mean I wanted him to see it again.

“Sirius, I’m so afraid that one of these days she’s going to kill you.” He stared at me with wide blue eyes, and I could see and feel his terror. “Please, please, please, don’t antagonize them. Not over me. I couldn’t bear it if… I mean…” His lower lip wobbled, and now tears threatened his eyes.

I couldn’t handle that. I could take anything Bella and Roddy could dish out. But I couldn’t stand seeing Remus upset.

“I’m sorry, Remus, I’m so sorry.” My voice wavered, as I reached for the first tear which had fallen down his perfect cheek, and wiped it away. “Please don’t be upset with me. I love you, remember?”

“I’m not upset with you, I’m upset for you. There’s a difference. And I love you too.”

We wrapped our arms around each other and held on. This was not how I’d envisioned our reunion would go. We’d been separated all summer, our only communication through our owls. At least he got to see James and Peter, while I was stuck at Grimmauld Place. I hated being there, but there was nothing I could do about it. When I was able to, I’d move out and never go back again. Never. As far as I was concerned, the Blacks could all rot in Hell. Except for Uncle Alphard.

“I missed you, Remus,” I said, drawing back far enough to look into his beautiful eyes. They were calmer now, more at peace.

“I missed you too, Sirius. Let’s just try to stay out of their way, all right? The important thing is we’re together. Nothing else matters.”

“I want us to be together,” I blurted out, and my words produced further blushing on Mr. Lupin’s part. He knew exactly what I meant.

“We will be, Sirius,” he promised. “As soon as… as soon as we’re ready.”

I sighed. I’d heard these same words ever since we’d come out to one another, declared our undying love and devotion, and become a couple. Sure, we fooled around together. Kissing. Lots of kissing. Touching. Wanking. But the big event… the one that would bind us forever… had yet to happen.

Not for lack of wanting it to.

“I promise you, Sirius,” Remus said gravely, pressing a soft finger against my lips, “this will be the school year it happens.”

I believed him. Remus Lupin would never lie to me, this I knew.

Trouble was, neither one of us knew exactly what that entailed, which was part of the reason why it had never happened. Somehow I knew we’d figure it out.

“I can wait,” I said, and I watched as Remus’ face lit up with the most beautiful smile at my words. “I’ll wait for you as long as it takes.”

We kissed, and I felt infinitely better. Nothing else mattered. Not my family. Not his lack of pure blood. None of it. We would be together, and I felt as though I was the luckiest boy in the world to have won Remus’ heart.