Bless the Beasts and the Children - 4. Chapter 4

Although I might pretend as if it didn’t matter to me, and I might even act like school was a major pain in my arse, I was actually very happy to be back at Hogwarts. There were a number of reasons for that, but the biggest one would be Remus. I missed not being able to see him over the summer. Every night without him was agony. I missed the soft kisses and the secret touches we shared, the whispered conversations in the still of the night, when we’d steal a few minutes to ourselves after everyone else was asleep. I even missed the way he would get after me about things, like studying and behaving. Missed seeing him sitting at the top of the Quidditch stand while I practiced with the team, pretending to study and watching me like a hawk. But it couldn’t be helped. My parents kept me on a rather short leash, as they say, and they monitored everything I did with the help of their little spy, Kreacher. I used to think all parents did that, until I talked to James and he told me that was not natural. No surprise there. Nothing about the Black family is natural.

Asking Remus to come to Grimmauld Place was simply out of the question. First, my parents would not allow it, as filled with hatred as they are for anyone who isn’t one of them (mind you, I said them, not us, I don’t consider myself one of them).

The big reason I don’t want him there is because I wouldn’t put Remus through it. I wouldn’t want to contaminate his purity of soul with the foulness in that house. I can bear it. I’ve lived with it my whole life. But Remus is better than me, and I could never do that to him.

Besides Remus, there’s James, who’s like the brother I never had. I don’t count Regulus, who’s two years behind me at Hogwarts. He is my brother. Compared to him, I’m the son my parents wish they never had. And then there’s Peter. And Frank. And there are some interesting classes, sandwiched in with the less-than-stellar ones. Like History of Magic (which I nap through). I refuse to take Divination, because it’s just so much nonsense. Only weirdoes take that class, like that Trelawney girl.

But then there are the drawbacks to life at Hogwarts. And too many of those are Black, or Black related. Shall I count the ways? Bellabitch, Narcissa… all right, Narcissa isn’t as bad as her sister, and sometimes we do get along. But that won’t last forever. Not since she’s engaged to that poncy git, Malfoy. Malfoy. Rodolphus Lestrange, the big brute who thinks the sun rises and sets on his beloved Bella. Shows you how stupid he is. He’s just as cruel as she is. Figures that they both worship the ground that stupid Voldemort walks on.

And then there’s Snape. From the beginning, he’s been nothing but a smarmy know-it-all, arse-kissing troublemaker. He hates me as much as I hate him. Someday I am going to make him pay for his attitude. Just you wait and see.

I didn’t care that Lily snatched Remus like that as we all headed up to Gryffindor for our first night back. James was more upset than I was, whether he was willing to admit to it or not. He covered it up pretty well, but I knew he was showing off for Lily’s benefit. I could tell him that isn’t the way to win her heart, but he wouldn’t believe me, and he wouldn’t listen. Mostly because he won’t admit he’s hung up on her. I know better. They’re both stuck on each other, just too proud to admit it.

I don’t really mind Lily too much. At first I didn’t care for her a whole lot, but she’s grown on me. She and Remus are good friends, and she’s always been there for him, and now they’re even prefects together. (Better him than me is what I say) Plus she knows about us, and she doesn’t judge. Sure, she has her annoying points, like thinking she’s always right.

She’ll be a good match for James.

We reached our house, and the familiar portrait of the Fat Lady. Someone once asked her how long she’s been hanging around at Hogwarts, and did she ever turn red. I could have told that fool you never ask about a lady’s age. It’s just not done.

“A gracious good evening to you,” I greeted her. I bowed to her in a very courtly way, and James followed suit beside me. The portrait giggled.

“You’re such a flirt, Mr. Black,” she said, but she was smiling, and I knew she wasn’t put out. “Nice to have you back.”

“Nice to be back.” I gave her a quick wink and headed inside, while James snorted once we were past her.

“What?” I looked at him. “It’s called manners. You should learn some.”

“Yeah, like I wasn’t taught them same as you, you git. I call that being a suck-ass is what I call it.”

“Well, you should know. You’re the prince of suck-asses, aren’t you?” Having neatly turned the tables on him, I jackrabbited away and up the stairs before he could think to respond. He was after me in a second. I could hear Evans behind us.

“Starting already, Black?”

“You know it, Evans,” I responded, before I zipped into our dorm. I managed to get behind the door before James flew in. I tackled him and we both ended up on the floor, rolling around, each trying to gain an advantage over the other.

I heard Remus walk in, followed by Peter, with Frank right behind him.

“Give it a rest, can’t you two? It’s too late for this nonsense.” That’s Remus.

We’d had enough anyway, so we stopped tussling and helped each other up, brushing off our robes as we did.

“We have class tomorrow,” Remus continued. “We should get some sleep.”

We all got ready for sleep, and only spent a few minutes discussing items of mutual interest, with the promise we’d talk more the next day. One by one we turned in, and soon I heard James’ familiar snore, echoed by Peter’s and Frank’s even breathing.

I waited a few more minutes to be sure before I made my way to Remus’ bed, which was next to mine. Not waiting for a invitation, I slipped inside. I knew he’d be awake, and he was.

We kissed, soft at first, then a little more. We broke apart, though, because we couldn’t go any farther. Sometimes it was excruciating to get so far and have to stop, but that’s just how it was.

“I missed you, Remus,” I whispered, trying to read his expression in the moonlight which filtered into our room. I didn’t want to cast a lumos spell for fear of attracting the others.

“I missed you too, Sirius,” he said. I had the feeling there was more he wanted to say, but he didn’t, so I didn’t press the matter.

“Try not to get into any more fights this year than you can help, will you?”

“James and I weren’t fighting,” I began, but Remus laid his finger across my lips.

“I know, I wasn’t talking about him.”

I knew then who he meant. That might be easier said then done.

“I’ll do my best,” I promised. That was all I could do. It wasn’t only me, and I couldn’t control what that lot did. But I would try.

He seemed satisfied with that. We kissed again, and I finally returned to my own bed, reluctantly, and fell asleep with visions of Remus dancing in my head.