Hugh's Pain - 10. Chapter 10

When they pulled up to the house, Hugh saw that Gary’s truck was still in the driveway. He’d been thinking on the way over about what Rick had said. And, while he was still reticent about sharing the night of his nightmares with Gary, he was pretty sure he could use Gary’s help with finding out about the man he’d seen when he was a kid. He’d originally thought that maybe he could go to the library and look through some old newspaper editions, but on the way to Gary’s he began to realize that was like looking for a needle in a haystack. What if the guy hadn’t been from around these parts? What if he’d just been a drifter? There wouldn’t be any news because no one would have known anything about him.

“Hey, Hugh,” Rick stammered. “Um, you think you’d wanna come in? Maybe have some breakfast? Dad’s not working today and… um… he could… I mean, we could sit down and maybe… talk?”

Hugh did an internal laugh at Rick’s unease, but looking between the kid and his friend―Rick’s subtle unease and Toby’s unhindered hopefulness―he kept the humor to himself and cocked his head.

“That took a lot out of ya. Didn’t it, kid?” He did find it much too difficult not to at least smirk.

Rick sighed and pushed open the door. “You have no idea.”

Toby actually giggled as he followed Rick out.

Hugh sat still with the motor running and watched the boys as they walked to the kitchen door. When they stopped and turned to look at Hugh―Rick, with his hands and shoulders raised in the “Well?” gesture so often seen in teenagers―Hugh let out a chuckle and shut down the truck. Before following the two into the house, he took a deep breath, straightened his back, and did his very best to clear the hallways of his mind. The only way to get at the truth is to start to open the doors and let the light in.

Hugh knew he was taking a big chance with Gary, Rick and Toby. He’d be letting them in on something that had been hidden for 18 years. No one else knew. At least, he didn’t think anyone else knew. A shudder ran up Hugh’s spine when he thought about the look on his father’s face. There had been anger yes, but, there had also been fear. What if opening this all up put Pat and his family in danger? What if it put Jonathon in danger?

He almost turned around right then and there… almost. As his feet cleared the threshold, Hugh was certain of only one thing. His running blind was at an end.

Gary was seated facing the door, elbows resting on the table and coffee cup raised to his lips. Hugh watched his eyebrows lift when Gary caught sight of Hugh following the boys inside. There was interest in his eyes as they flitted back and forth between Hugh and Rick. Hugh noticed that Gary was not in uniform then he remembered Rick saying that his father was not working.

Gary set his cup down and motioned to the seat across the table.

“Have a seat, Hugh. Rick, how about offering your guests something to drink? Maybe some breakfast?”

Hugh sat and chuckled at Toby when he answered, “Pancakes?” with full teenage exuberance.

“Perfect,” Gary said.

Rick snorted but turned to prepare the requested dish. Before beginning to pull out the necessary equipment and ingredients, he filled a mug with coffee and set it in front of Hugh. A shy smile accompanied the small duck of his head when Hugh thanked him. Hugh wondered at the change of attitude. The day before Rick despised Hugh. Now… well, Hugh wasn’t sure what to think.

He watched Rick work while Toby chattered to his left. Baseball, a new project in science at school, his mom trying out some new recipes at home. All of this was directed toward Gary, with small comments to Hugh and Rick keeping them in the loop of conversation. Rick didn’t speak much, keeping more to himself but answering in small movements of his head and shoulders. Or a slight grin back at his friend.

It was after everyone had been served and they were eating that Hugh received the revelation that Toby didn’t have a father. It hadn’t been spoken aloud, but the facts were there. Gary’s family had stepped in to take up the slack. Gary, in essence, had become Toby’s surrogate dad. It gave Hugh a new respect for the man.

It also made him wonder more deeply about his son.

How could a boy raised with such a caring father respond to his best friend’s pain as he had in the diner? Not to mention the back and forth emotions concerning Hugh. Rick, Hugh decided, was one very confused kid. But then, was Hugh any different when he was a teen?

And then a light went on.

Hugh began to pay closer attention to the interaction between the boys. He listened to their playful banter and caught the gleam that often showed in Rick’s eyes when he spoke to Toby. Toward the end of their morning meal, Hugh glanced at Gary and stifled a chuckle when the man winked at him before nodding in the direction of his son. He knew. And he didn’t care.

When they were finished eating Gary set the boys to work clearing the table and cleaning up while he directed Hugh into the living room. After getting settled into the two rocker recliners, Gary looked expectantly at Hugh to begin.

“I’m not sure how to start this other than to say I think I need your help,” Hugh said with a quaver in his voice.

Gary nodded. “What do you need, Hugh? I’ll help any way I can.”

The care in Gary’s voice took Hugh by surprise and he found himself suddenly flushed with heat and trying to catch his breath. His hands fisted as he fought against shudders that seemed to come from nowhere.

“Hugh?”

Gary’s voice sounded a lot closer than it should and Hugh forced himself to lift his eyes from his hands and to focus on the face that seemed to float in front of him. His vision was blurred so he shook his head and blinked repetitively to clear it. It didn’t seem to do any good and Hugh thought he must be finally losing it. His brain was shutting down.

“Hugh.”

Gary pressed something into his hands and Hugh finally realized his vision was blocked with tears. He took the tissues Gary had given him and swiped them across his eyes. They cleared but all too soon filled up once again.

Gary knelt in front of him with the boys at his back. Rick fidgeted, his teeth biting at his lower lip, while Toby looked ready to cry.

With a great shudder, Hugh forced a small smile but completely lost it when Toby rushed to his side and enveloped him in a shaky embrace. The flood gates opened and Hugh was powerless to stop the flow. He clutched Toby to him as if his life depended on the boy. He supposed that in a way it did. He’d not opened like this for years, not since the night his mother died. And even then, there was no flood of tears. The guilt had been too heavy to allow the grief to take over.

Time ceased to exist as his tears flowed until Hugh came to realize that there were three sets of arms surrounding him. He slowly brought himself back to a gentle calm and opened his eyes. The room was brighter. The tears dried up and the arms holding him slid away one at a time until Hugh rested back against the chair and sighed.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I don’t know why I did that.”

“Sure you do,” Gary said. “You’ve held a lot in over the years, Hugh. I’m willing to bet you’ve not let yourself go for a long time. It was just waiting for the opportune moment. I’m just glad we were here to help.”

“How do you know so much?”

Gary shrugged. “I pay attention. In my job you have to see things that others take for granted. Sometimes being able to do so is the difference between life and death.”

Hugh didn’t miss the look Gary gave his son, nor the flush that came to the boy’s face.

“So,” Gary began and directed the boys to sit on the sofa as he took the chair closest to Hugh. “Tell me what I can do to help here.”

Hugh took a deep breath and glanced at the boys before concentrating on Gary.

“When I was a kid, about six I think, I saw something.” He shook his head and swept his eyes to Rick quickly before coming back to Gary. “Something bad.”

Gary nodded and turned to his son. “Rick, maybe you and Toby should go find something else to do while Hugh and I talk for a bit.”

“No,” Rick said forcefully. “We can help.” He looked at his father then directed a pleading gaze at Hugh. “I need to help.”

“Because of the nightmares,” Hugh said without inflection and Rick nodded.

“Yeah. And, because Uncle Jason would if he were here.”

Hugh flinched and bit back the sob that threatened to escape. Enough with the crying already. There would be time enough to fall apart after the questions were answered… after he knew Jonathan was safe.

Yeah,” Hugh said quietly and looked down at his hands. “He would have.” When he had control back over his emotions, Hugh looked up into Rick’s eyes and said, “You’re a better man than me, Rick Masters.”

Rick looked away from Hugh’s gaze eventually dropping to his own lap before reaching over and taking Toby’s hand.

“Not really,” he said. “But I’m trying.”

A small smile pulled at the corners of Hugh’s mouth when Toby looked from his clasped hand to Rick’s face in astonishment.

“Okay,” Gary’s amused voice broke through the air. “Now that we have that settled, talk to me.”

Hugh considered how to broke the news of his father’s crime for a moment then decided to give them a little background of his life as a small child first.

“My father was never what you would call ‘dad’ material. He was lucky to even be called a father. As a little kid, I didn’t realize what I was missing until I started school. I had my mom and my older brother, Pat, to fill in.” Hugh stopped a moment as memories of Pat pulling him out of the house to play catch, or hide and seek, or anything at all came into his mind. They had all been times when Hugh had started to call for his father. He realized just then that Pat had been protecting him.

Hugh shook his head.

“The other kids learned how to catch from their dads. I learned with my brother. But it was when we all started to get together on the weekends that I really saw what I was missing. And I was bound and determined to have what they all had. A daddy.”

“Not everyone has a dad,” Toby said quietly.

“No,” Hugh agreed. “Not everyone. But my father was there and I couldn’t understand at that young age why he didn’t play with me like the other kid’s dads did. So, I went looking for him one morning. I had my ball and mitt when I went out to the back barn. I was all ready to sweet talk him into playing catch. Pat had gone on a sleep over with some of his friends that weekend and my mom had run to the store so it was just me and him. Chores were done and all I had was time on my hands.” Hugh concentrated on his hands clasped together in his lap. “All I wanted was a daddy.” He sighed and rubbed cold hands across his face. “He was digging… out in the field… behind the barn. I didn’t think, didn’t call to him, just walked right up to his side… and looked down into the hole.”

Hugh fell silent as the image of the bloody corpse flashed through his mind.

“What did you see?”

Hugh raised his head to find the voice and Gary was right there. His hands were resting on Hugh’s knees and his face was mere inches from Hugh’s nose.

“Hugh, what was it?”

“I just wanted my daddy.” Hugh voice sounded strange to his ears. Like he’d become that scared little boy again. He drew back from Gary and pressed himself into the chair. He saw his father’s face, angry and distorted as he shouted at him.

“Hugh.”

He flinched from the touch against his cheek.

“Shh, Hugh, it’s okay. I’m not going to hurt you. Come on back now. You’re okay here. You’re safe.”

Slowly, Hugh’s mind cleared from the images of his past and he focused on the face in front of him. He cleared his throat and nodded as Gary backed up but didn’t go back to his seat. His hand still rested on Hugh’s knee and it seemed to ground Hugh so that he could continue.

“He was burying someone. There was so much blood and bruising, bones sticking out from the skin. I couldn’t tell if it was a man or a woman. Dirt covered half the body.

“Then I was back in my room and he was shouting at me. Threatening me that if I ever told anyone…” Hugh drifted off, not completing his sentence.

“What did he say would happen if you told?”

“I don’t know. My mom came home then, and I buried what I’d seen. I didn’t remember what happened until this morning. But I knew there was something. All those years with my father looming over me, waiting for me to spill it out. But I didn’t know why he was angry. I still don’t.”

Hugh looked into Gary’s eyes.

“I need to know what happened. Did my father kill someone or was it something else? He was so angry but… he was also afraid.”

“Do you think the body is still there?”

“I don’t know.”

“Okay.” Gary stood and back up a couple steps. “First things first. I’ll need to make a couple of phone calls, get some things together to check the grounds…. Hugh, you do realize that this is going to get out? These kinds of things don’t remain secret for long.”

Hugh sighed.

“Yeah, I know. Give me a few minutes to talk to my brother before you start. I don’t know what this will open up and I don’t want them to be in any danger.”

Gary didn’t answer but Hugh saw a look come over his face as he left the room. Was he putting this family at risk also?